My Only Joy
by lossehelin
Summary: A man they named the Battosai struggles with his sanity as he kills time and time again for a revolution in the present times, but will the decision to not kill a witness, a child, save him where he's come up short? Or will she only hinder him?KK
1. First For Everything

This is my baby... so please be nice. The beginning of this story is a little controversial when thought about in the wrong way, especially with pre-existing knowledge of the characters and who they originally interacted with in the story. So, please, you must understand that my story is a romance, but a slightly long one. Enjoy...

Disclaimer: I don't own Battosai...

x

"Fallen angels at my feet

Whispered voices at my ear

Death before my eyes

Lying next to me I fear

She beckons me shall I give in

Upon my end shall I begin

Forsaking all I've fallen for I rise to meet the end."

_Whisper_ Evanescence

x

Chapter 1: First for Everything

The Hitokiri Battosai stood menacingly over the defeated woman at his feet. She had surprised him, and that angered him. First his carelessness with her husband had left him bleeding from the slice to the face, now, only shortly after he had ended the pitiful man's life, his wife had cut him as well. Two wounds in one night was not a very good way to end an evening, especially since there had been none in the months before.

This was no where near his first job as an assassin for the Choshu clan. Every one of his jobs before this one, however, had been clean, precise, and he had always came away unscathed. Even if he was only fifteen, that shouldn't matter, he should not have been so careless. The hitokiri cursed heatedly, blood running down his face and neck from the crossed wounds, as he lifted his bloody katana to finish off the woman who was not supposed to have been there. There was not to be any witnesses left behind, no one to identify their shadow assassin.

The Battosai almost felt sorry for the dark-eyed woman who knelt before him, blood seeping from her mouth where he had backhanded her. Almost. But there was no sorrow in her eyes, only pain and hatred. Lightening flashed sharply, illuminating the still room before the loud clack of thunder followed, shaking the small house on its foundation. In that instant, sorrow and a desperate need filled the woman's black eyes, giving the Battosai pause.

Suddenly she was moving, jumping to the side so harshly that the hitokiri reacted on instinct alone. Lunging forward, his blade connected with flesh, slicing through her chest like butter. A soft choking noise worked up her throat and then she splurted softly as the katana retracted from her body. Heavily her white clad figure fell to the ground and she gasped in air desperately as the storm raged outside.

"Onegai…" The woman's soft voice stopped the man in his tracks, one hand holding a bloodied cloth, the other his now clean katana. "Onegai… shimasu… my baby." Amber eyes watched stoically as she reached for a door across the room. "My Kaoru…" Eyes, dark with pain and her impending demise, turned to his pleadingly. "She's afraid of thunder." With a soft sigh, the breath left her lungs and she relaxed onto the floor in death.

Sliding his katana back into its sheath with a dull click, the Battosai turned to walk out the door and leave the horror of his work behind. The child would no doubt be taken care of tomorrow. Another statistic, just like her parents. One step was taken before he froze again, the soft whoosh and clatter of a shoji opening behind him catching his attention. Small footsteps sounded as someone, the child no doubt, ran into the room, a whimper issuing from her throat.

"Okaasan. Otousan." The girl's voice was a quiet plea in the darkness, calling out to his dark heart and touching that part of him he had thought died a long time ago. Turning back he found a small girl of four or five kneeling beside her broken mother, shaking her and faintly calling her awake. No tears were present in her voice when there wasn't an answer, and she merely picked herself up to go to her father and repeat the process.

The action was almost heartbreaking in its childish consideration. The girl wouldn't shake them overly, afraid of hurting them, but there must have been some knowledge within her of their murder, especially when she turned deep sapphire eyes to him.

Amber eyes widened in surprise as she uncannily pinpointed him in the darkness. She knew he was there, but could she see him? Did she know what he looked like? He couldn't take that chance. It would break his heart to kill a child, but he must keep his identity safe. Even from the child-like descriptions of a five year old.

Smoothly he unsheathed his katana once again, watching predatorily as she walked steadily toward him. Allowing the darkness inside of him to cover his thoughts and heart, he readied himself to take his first truly innocent life.

The girl stopped only feet from him, blood covering her small hands and the knees of her nightgown. Fearless sapphire eyes stared up into his emotionless amber, and for the second time that night he paused. There was no hatred in them, no pain, no anger, no fear; only sorrow and questions. Emotions that were surprisingly un-childlike in her young face.

Then a flash of lightening hit accompanied by its loud clap of thunder, and the fear that wasn't there before flickered through her eyes. Rushing forward the girl latched onto the loose material of his hakama, hugging his leg tightly while burying her face in his hip. Only the fact that she was a child kept him from slashing out and killing her instantly. Only because she was innocent. Only because she had touched the blackness of his heart with her acceptance.

For the first time, the Hitokiri Battosai was at a loss as to what to do.

A frown deepened the corners of his mouth. This night seemed to be full of firsts.

The small whimper of the girl at his hip drew his attention back to her once again and he found her looking up at his face. The dark orbs of her eyes captured him, leaving him speechless and unsure of why they held so much trust. Trust and understanding were not emotions he should be seeing in the eyes of a child who was about to become his victim.

Long moments they stared. For a seemingly endless amount of time they assessed one another; studying, watching, waiting patiently, determined to be the last to move. Finally the girl blinked, closing and opening her now bright eyes rapidly before releasing his leg and lifting her arms above her head. The demand was obvious, and almost amusing in its naïve security. So the Battosai did the only thing he could and was able to do. He bent over and picked her up.

Small arms wrapped around his neck, short legs braced her weight on his hips, and her young face was held up, unabashedly looking him level in the eye. Those wondrous blue orbs bore into him, daring him to leave her there. Holding her as he was, with one arm around her waist, he sheathed his katana again and walked to the door. When he moved to cover her with his cloak, she took that as a sign and buried her face in the crook of his neck, her fingers twining through his loose hairs. Before he could step out into the angry pelt of the heavy rainfall she stopped him with her child's voice.

"Am I yours now?"

The hitokiri wasn't able to see her, but he could hear the curious and expectant tone in her voice. There was no venom or disgust, but maybe…hope? He nodded his head once, sharply.

"Hai."

"'Kay." The girl's accepting reply almost took him aback, but he was beginning to expect the unexpected when it came to her. Slowly he felt her body relax against him as he stepped out into the rain, running quickly and quietly with his arms protectively surrounding the child. A soft brush of her lashes caressed his neck and he knew she had fallen asleep, the thunder no longer frightening that beautiful oblivion away.

x

Into that stormy night the Battosai ran, cutting through the trees, stealthily guarding his every step. Now that he had made his decision to keep her there was only one place he could go. This did not include the headquarters of his clan where he should have been heading to make his report. A small girl would not be welcome in that world, and they would only break her. Strangely this angered him, her fearlessness was amazing and he had no desire to see her lose it. Though if she was able to stand up to their most feared assassin without batting an eyelash, then she was sure to do the same with the others. The difference? He was not cruel like many of his comrades, he just did his job. Well.

Slowing his headlong dash to cross a busy road, he forced himself to walk only at a slightly fast pace. Ducking his head against the rain, hiding the telling lump of the girl in the drape of his cloak, he looked very much like any other citizen caught out in the storm and in a hurry to get home.

Taking the road for a random length of time, he suddenly plunged back into the trees when he was sure he wouldn't be seen. Smoothly quickening his pace back into a run, he headed up the side of the mountain on the far side of Kyoto.

The clearing around his master's home was dark and empty, only the continuous rain keeping the grass company with its harsh pounding. The Battosai walked cautiously towards the house he had spent a good amount of his life in. There was no telling how his master would react to his sudden reappearance, given that he had left many months before without so much as a word between them since. Hopefully that would not affect his decision on whether to let the girl stay or not. Either way, he knew he would lord it over him.

Softly he knocked on the door, his search for ki energy coming up cold. What did he expect, though? He had been the one to teach him how to mask his own. If he wanted to be known, then he would let himself be known. If not, then he could sneak up on you in broad daylight with bells tied to his every limb. All he could do now was wait and see if he wanted to acknowledge him or not.

Standing underneath the short awning as much as he could, he unconsciously ran a hand up the girl's back in a soothing manner. Her breathing was still deep and even, ghosting hot and reassuringly across his neck, but there was still some concern that the rain would make her sick. Though she was dry for the most part, there was only so much his cloak could withstand, and this driving rain was not one of them. Already it was soaked through, hanging heavily around his body, weighing him down. Now that he had time to concentrate on himself, he could feel the water slowly seeping into his clothes, everywhere except where her small body covered. They would both be soaked soon.

Cursing softly, he turned to leave when the door opened sharply behind him.

"What the hell do you want?" Hiko sounded irritated, but not surprised by his presence. He'd known exactly who it was the moment he'd knocked.

The Battosai turned sharply, arms holding the child steady and out of his master's view, before bowing formally before him.

"May I come in?" Long moments he waited, his dark red hair plastered to his face, mixing with the blood still dripping from his wound.

Hiko finally grunted and stepped back inside, leaving the door open for him to come in. Taking the offer before it was retracted, stealing his pride for the sake of the girl, he closed the door behind him. Shoes slid smoothly from his feet in a practiced movement before he stepped fully inside, the lamp in the corner illuminating his bloody face. Hiko took in his soaked and bloody figure without comment, his eyes drawn to the steady rise and fall of the cloak at his chest instead.

"I'll ask again, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I need a favor." With that he reached up to pull back his cloak, revealing the dryer form of the girl sleeping peacefully curled against him. The Battosai's amber eyes stayed fixed on his master while he took in the slightly soaked and bloody pair they made.

"Iie." Hiko turned away, his voice and eyes flat with his decision. The hitokiri took a step forward.

"There is nowhere else for her to go."

Hiko turned again sharply, his eyes blazing in anger. "And what about her parents? Where are they and why can't they take care of her?" He snorted when hard amber eyes were diverted to the corner. "You make me sick."

The Battosai felt the girl stir in his arms but ignored the warning and took another step closer. "I did what I had to do. For the people of this country and for her future."

"By killing families? By taking away those children's parents? What kind of future are you creating, boy?" Hiko felt disgust well inside of him for the idiot.

"One without suffering!" Golden eyes sparked in remembered fury of his master's callousness to his surrounding environment. Would he never understand why he felt he needed this? To help those in need.

"By causing more? How do you think this girl's life is going to be without her parents? Without their guidance and love?" Hiko took the step forward this time, leveling his own glare down at his stupid apprentice.

"I brought her here in hopes that you would help!"

"Help you? If this is some poor attempt to make you feel justified in your actions then I will not help you! I will never help you in this stupid crusade, and I never want to see your face again! Get out! You stupid, low-life wretch!"

Whapp!

Hiko stood, dumbstruck by the blow that landed smartly across his face. Both men turned surprised eyes to the girl sitting straight in the Battosai's arms. Her sapphire eyes stared unwaveringly at the taller, dark-headed man, and for the first time that night the hitokiri saw anger flashing in their depths. And it wasn't directed at him. Staring in amazement at the fearless wonder he held, he watched her cross her arms, trusting him to hold her steady.

"You 'pologize," she practically demanded of his master, her stern tone comical in its seriousness. Hiko seemed to agree as he burst out laughing the moment it was said, but the hitokiri was relieved to find it amused and not sinister.

"I can't believe she's sticking up for you."

The Battosai could only agree, after all that he had done to her family, but secretly, in the deepest parts of his heart, he was relieved that she was. It meant she did not hate him, and for some reason that mattered greatly to him.

Hiko watched as his idiot apprentice looked at the girl in surprise and…delight? Yes, he was happy that the girl was angry on his part. Amber eyes softened in affection as she still stared expectantly out at him. She definitely was fearless, and he could feel her fighter's spirit, faint as it was because of her age and upbringing. He doubted his idiot apprentice even noticed. Still, he had brought her here, maybe in the long run it would save him. This girl could very well mean more to him than he realized.

"I'll keep her." Hiko spoke up as if he was granting a great boon. "But you're going to have to find clothes for her. She's still your responsibility."

The Battosai nodded sharply, eyes hardening once again as he bent to sit her down on the floor. The girl stood on her own willingly, but one hand fisted firmly in his hakama when he turned to leave.

"You're leaving?" Suddenly she was a lost little child again, tears collecting at the corners of her eyes as she stared up into his quickly softening amber.

Bending down eye level with her, he tried to soothe her as best as he could. "I have to leave now, but I will be back later."

"Promise?" Her soft voice shaky with suppressed tears.

"Promise, but no tears."

He watched in amazement as she set her face stubbornly and wiped the tears away roughly with the back of her hand.

"'Kay." Instead she smiled at him, and it was the sweetest sight he could have ever wished for. So for the first time in a long while he smiled back.

Hiko snorted in disbelief.

Amber eyes hardening at the noise, the Battosai stood sharply, angling a glare at his master before glancing back down at the girl. "Stay with Hiko-sama. Be good…little one," he added affectionately before turning to leave.

"Hey, baka! What's her name?"

The Battosai threw another glare over his shoulder, only to find the girl doing it for him. He had to bite the inside of his check hard to keep a straight face.

"Kaoru." He looked to the girl for confirmation, only having heard the name briefly from the lips of the dying mother. Kaoru nodded happily, a smile on her face for him.

"No family name?" Hiko knew the answer, or rather lack-there-of.

"No."

"Fine." Hiko looked down at the girl who looked over at the fire-headed man in the doorway. _But, he's still just a boy._ "Well, get outta my house."

The Battosai turned away from the girl's blue eyes and slipped his shoes back on before disappearing out the door without a backwards glance. Melting into the darkness of the trees and shadows, he wondered why he suddenly felt lost.

x

Walking briskly through the heavy wooden doors after avoiding the light traffic and questioning eyes, the Battosai accepted the washcloth from the woman who ran the inn without question. Handing his drenched cloak to her in return, he stepped past her without a word, pressing the cloth to his cheek and wiping away as much of the blood as he possibly could. Down several hallways he proceeded, ignoring the curious and prying eyes of anyone he met on the way.

The inn itself was small and out of the way, making it the perfect spot to run the hidden movements of the clan he had sided with. So far the struggle for power had remained under the surface with only shows of force in the daylight, unaffecting the population as much as possible. Their public headquarters was a monstrosity of metal and glass that looked more like a bank or business building than the center to a world of idealists and trained killers. Its intricate layers of offices, dormitories, training halls, and information rooms did not appeal to the Battosai. In his mind it was ugly and too flashy for his traditional tastes, as he leaned more toward the simplicity of old Japan. Although, he would admit there were many advantages to the advancement of technology, he was just glad that the country he was fighting for still honored the older ways.

Standing in front of the door to his boss, he silently tucked the bloodied cloth away before knocking sharply. The reply was immediate, and he entered to find the smiling form of his boss, Katsura Kogoro. Halting, he bowed formally then took his seat on the cushion across from him.

"It is done then?"

"Hai."

Katsura studied his assassin's appearance, taking in the wounds and blood on his hakama and top.

"Kiyosato-san put up a good fight? I did not expect he would be on your level."

"No." Katsura raised an eyebrow at his definite answer, but he could detect no arrogance in his voice. "I was careless, and underestimated his will to live."

"He does have a family, though few know of them. But…in the end, he will be at ease in the afterlife when this is over and they can live in a much needed peace."

"No, they won't." Battosai's voice was level as ever, ready to tell his half-lie and let the girl begin her new life.

Katsura looked at him in shock, surprised confusion on his face. "But they were not meant to be there."

"They were. The woman surprised me with her presence, again a careless mistake on my part. She landed the second blow before I could salvage the situation. She will be meeting her husband in the afterlife."

Katsura sighed. "It could not be helped." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Her name was Yukishiro, I believe. Though she is unknown to the populace she does have a father who will be upset to hear of the loss. Hopefully his son will be able to comfort him. The child, too, will no doubt be transferred to his custody. What a shock it will be for him to find out he has a grandchild."

The Battosai looked away, his mind racing with the information he had just been given and what his boss should be told in return.

"No, he will not." The words left his mouth smoothly.

"You killed the child as well?" There was a pained horror in his voice now, but at himself for requiring that Himura stay unknown.

"It was necessary." It was not exactly a lie, as the girl had seen him and he was obligated to kill her by the same rules that Katsura himself laid down.

Katsura narrowed his eyes at the other's tone and took in the blood stains on the hitokiri again. Though his assassin was the best, he was not known to be completely heartless enough to kill a child. In the two places around his neck and thigh the red took on a distinctive pattern that was not the random splattering of a sword's path. Once again raising his dark eyes back up to the hard amber, he just caught the barest flicker before they steadied. He was lying to him.

"Where is the child?" His voice dropped to an almost inaudible whisper, knowing full well the Battosai could hear him. When he answered back in kind he was not fully prepared for him to respond so openly.

"She is safe."

"She? What are you planning on doing with this young child?" Katsura pressured him knowing full well how honorable the man was, but still curious of his true intentions. In his heart, he was just relieved that the hitokiri had not killed her.

"What do you take me for?" The Battosai's question came out on a low growl, his amber eyes darkening dangerously.

"I am merely pointing out the fact that some would question your motives."

"My motives are not your concern. However…to ease your mind, she did not come unwillingly."

Katsura's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "She went with you after you killed her father and mother?"

A sharp nod was his answer.

"Amazing." Katsura sat, lost in thought for long moments, a theory forming in his mind that deserved testing. "You do not think she would be better off with her grandfather and uncle?" Amazement and a definite understanding filled him when the eyes of the hitokiri hardened to a solid gold and his voice practically hissed his displeasure and disagreement of this offer out.

"No. She is mine."

The Battosai watched his boss nod, a small smile forming on his lips, and his insides relaxed in relief. The girl was his now. No strings attached.

"I will make sure any rumor or unofficial document of her birth disappears. A group will be sent out immediately after this to collect any belongings of hers and burn them. As of this moment, that girl never existed. Now if that is all, you are dismissed."

Battosai bowed again before rising gracefully to his feet and turning to leave. At the door he paused and whispered his question to the wood.

"How did you know?"

"From the blood on your clothes, Himura-san."

The Battosai looked down at his bloodied hakama, and found he could pick out the small hand prints she had made when she had grabbed him so pitifully.

"I was once a swordsman as well. Blood does not escape my eyes."

The hitokiri nodded and once again lifted his hand to the door to leave, but his thoughts held him there for a moment longer. Turning around he looked at Katsura, and the boss was amazed to find uncertainty in his eyes.

"She needs clothing."

He chuckled softly at the man's obvious discomfort. "I will have some saved and brought here for you to pick up tomorrow. Now, if you please. I have important business to finish tonight."

"Arigato." And he was gone.

"No, my friend, I think this is something you need. To keep the madness from consuming your once pure heart. And who else is better to find that innocence and purity in you than a child?"

x

**Glossary**

**onegai shimasu -** please (request)

**okaasan -** mother

**otousan -** father

**hai -** yes

**iie -** no

**baka -** idiot, stupid

**arigato -** thank you

A/N: Ok, Kaoru's parents have a significance when it comes to the scarring of Kenshin's face. Hopefully you have realized this already. Also, this is a present day AU, so the mention of technology should not be laughed at, it is actually there, I didn't mess up. Promise. Though a TV in old Japan would be quite the attraction, don't you think? Anyway, hope you like, and as always, leave a review and tell me what you think. Thanks for reading.


	2. I'll Protect You

Thank you for reviewing, and thank you for reading... so get on with it already.

Disclaimer: He's not mine... -harsh weeping-

x

"How can you see into my eyes like open doors

Leading you down into my core

Where I've become so numb

Without a soul

My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead it back home."

_Bring Me To Life_ Evanescence

x

Chapter 2: I'll Protect You

Kaoru turned away from the door to direct piercing blue eyes at the tall man she had been left with. Although she was wary of him, she felt no fear. The red-haired man had left her with him without any sign of worry or anxiety, so he was apparently safe.

Hiko in turn studied the girl as the storm picked up once again outside. The wind built back up as the rain died down, and soon he could hear the distant rumble of thunder. There was definitely something about this girl that was appealing. In the idiot's case he assumed it was the way she accepted things as they were. There were no disillusions in her eyes, but she did not let it change or destroy the innocence behind it. Simply put; she saw life as it was, accepted it, then moved on, concentrating only on the present and the things to come. An overwhelming sense of awe filtered through his mind; she seemed to have been naturally blessed with an ability that many struggled their whole lives to achieve.

The rumbling of thunder sounded closer and a small flicker of fear chased across blue irises, drawing his attention away from his thoughts. That was the first show of fear he had seen from her. Interesting. She could face down two of the strongest fighters in Japan, but a loud noise scared her. Just as he finished the thought, lightening struck just outside the house and the resulting crack was harsh enough to bust the bulbs in his lamps and throw the room into darkness. A sharp squeak sounded through the air and Hiko suddenly found himself being bowled into by Kaoru's slight form, her iron-like grip latching around his leg. He would have laughed if he couldn't feel her shaking so horribly against him.

"It's just a loud noise. You don't have to be afraid." His voice was gruff, unsure how to comfort.

A small whimper was all the reply he received.

Sighing, he hesitantly dropped a hand to her head, completely unsettled by her intimate contact, but wanting to soothe her none-the-less.

"You traveled through the storm earlier," he reasoned. "Were you afraid then?"

"No." A small, muffled reply.

"Well then why are you afraid now? You're inside where it can't even get close to you."

"He kept me safe."

Hiko did laugh at that. "I assure you that I can keep you safer than he ever could."

"Iie." Her level reply had him reeling, then smirking in amusement. _For some strange reason the baka has this girl's unwavering loyalty._

"Mou. I will at least keep you safe enough while that baka is not here. Fair enough?"

"Promise?"

"Hai." Hiko couldn't help but rub a hand over her hair affectionately.

"'Kay."

"Now, if you are not afraid of the dark as well, will you let go so I can light some candles?"

Kaoru's small arms instantly retracted, and he rummaged around the house, lighting a few oil lamps, just until the power returned. Coming back into the front room he found her in the same spot he had left her, looking around curiously.

"You should clean yourself up." He produced an old shirt for her to wear, then hesitated. "You do know how to bathe yourself, ne?"

The glare she directed at him was answer enough, and he led her to the bathroom before leaving her alone.

Ten minutes later the power came back on, Hiko had a room set up for her to sleep in, and he was sitting on his couch watching a silent TV. Kaoru, finished with her bath, came back into the room in his t-shirt, the hem almost brushing her ankles. Hiko had to smirk at how undeniably cute she looked, with the neck almost falling off one shoulder and her black hair wet and tangled around her head. Then he scowled, unhappy that he had even produced such a thought.

As she climbed up on the couch next to him he kept a wary eye on her, unsure of how to treat her. Though he had almost raised the boy, it had been different. He had already known how to take care of himself in the first place. Plus, he had been a boy, someone he could be rough on, and although this girl seemed to have a lot of spirit, he still could not help but feel she was somehow much more fragile.

Without warning he was pulled out of his thoughts as a brush was shoved under his nose.

"What the hell do you want me to do with that?" Hiko looked at his own brush like it was a foreign object.

"I can't reach." Kaoru stated, before dropping it in his lap and promptly turning her back to him.

Delicately Hiko picked up the brush, staring at the mess of dark hair that cascaded to her waist, then sighed. _Lucky for her I know how to brush hair or this could be cruel_, he thought, thinking of his own long hair and the struggles he had with it at times. Grumbling to himself he started at her ends, finding in his own experience that it was much easier on the scalp, and worked his way up. Kaoru made no noise of complaint if he was too rough, even when the brush snagged a couple of times, yanking her head back forcibly. When he was finished he handed her the brush, a scowl deepening the corners of his mouth.

"Don't you dare tell anyone I did that."

Kaoru smiled at him happily. "'Kay." Then she stood on the cushions and kissed him on the cheek. "Arigato, Hiko-sama."

Spluttering unintelligibly, he wasn't able to protest when she curled up on the couch next to him, her head leaning against his arm and her eyes on the TV. Wriggling uncomfortably, he found he did not have the heart to push her away.

x

Battosai entered the house silently, surprised to find lights still shining from the living room. It was well past midnight by now and he did not think his master would have stayed up just to make sure he came back. Kicking off his sandals, he pulled his wet cloak off and hung it next to one of Hiko's, the water dripping onto a mat below. This time around he was much dryer, more because the rain had let up then because he had a shorter distance to run. He was also cleaner, having changed in the room he occupied at the inn and bandaging the wound of his face.

Stepping up into the hallway and through the door to his right, he was not prepared for what he found and his eyebrows shot up in shock. Hiko sat on one end of the couch, his head thrown back and snoring softly as the TV flickered illumination over the half-lit room. Next to him the little girl was curled up inside the oversized shirt, her head on his thigh and her hands fisted in his pants.

Cautious and graceful as a cat, he slid across the room and turned the TV off before turning to the couch to take care of the little girl. Surprise found him again when his gaze fell on her open blue eyes, curiously watching his every move. Slowly she uncurled herself out of the ball she was in and rolled over to slide off the couch. Hiko gave a soft snort and jerked his head up off the back when she moved, but she ignored him in favor of padding over to the amber eyed man in front of the TV. Happily wrapping her arms around his leg she smiled up into his face, her eyes still slightly drooping with fatigue. The Battosai bent over and picked her small frame up in response, cradling her form to him when she laid her head on his shoulder limply.

Hiko grunted before standing up and lumbering out of the room, leaving him to deal with Kaoru.

"I've set up your old room for the girl. You'll have to fend for yourself."

The Battosai acknowledged him with a nod that he never saw while dropping soft amber eyes to the dozing girl wrapped boneless around his neck. Moving slowly around the room, he shut off the lights, then turned toward the hallway and the room he used to stay in.

A futon lay on the floor, already rolled out and turned down for the girl in his arms. Stepping carefully over, he lowered her off his shoulder and onto the mattress, tucking her in as she stared up at him tiredly.

"Wha's your name?" The soft question caught him slightly by surprise and he wryly realized that he had never supplied it before.

"Kenshin."

Sapphire eyes smiled up at him before closing and she snuggled deeper under the blankets. "Oyasumi nasai, Kenshin."

"Oyasumi nasai…Kaoru."

Kenshin settled back against the wall nearest the futon, watching with intent amber irises as the girl breathed easily in sleep. Satisfied that all was well, and knowing no one in their right mind would attack his master's home, he closed his own eyes and fell into a light sleep.

x

A sorrowful whimper tore through the air and amber eyes snapped open in answer. Gaze drawn instantly to the small child before him, he watched tensely as she tossed in her sleep, tears pouring from closed eyes and soft cries issuing from parted lips. It was obvious that she was dreaming, needing soothing words to chase away her demons, but the nature of that dream kept him in his seat, revealed to him by her ardent plea for her mother.

Golden eyes hardened as shame and terror swept in to take over his mind. Did he have any right to think she could accept him after killing her family? Was it right of him to deny her the chance of living with what was left of it? Would she hate him now? Was it only shock and fear of the storm that drove her into his arms? Was she with him out of self-preservation only? Or, being the five year old that she was, could she even comprehend what had happened? Did she just think she was staying for awhile, believing that her parents were away somewhere else? Or sick even?

Half-formed thoughts skittered around his consciousness and doubt ate away at the newly awakened piece of his heart. Hands tightened into fists around the sheath of his katana and eyes hardened into a fiery gold. His jaw clenched tightly, grinding his teeth together as the room faded away and he was lost in the struggle for his sanity. It was something he had been afraid of losing from the moment he had callously took his first life, and in his fear, he had locked away his heart and morals, focusing only on his duty. That responsibility he had taken upon himself to carry for the good of his country and people, willingly sacrificing himself for everyone else's happiness.

Yet, something in those blue eyes had called to him, to a part of himself that he had forgotten about; had locked away out of his own self-preservation. In that instant when she had searched his eyes, she had touched his soul and in a move that surprised him, it had latched onto her with the desperate grip of a drowning man. For some reason unknown to him, she had soothed an old wound inside of him by just her touch alone. With only her small fingers twining through his fiery hair, she had bathed him in a relief so profound that he was willing to sacrifice all he had to keep her. By telling her that she was his and practically challenging Katsura to take her away, he had claimed her. Selfishly, he admitted, but he could not stand to give her away. Not after the small piece of comfort he had found in her eyes.

So what could he do now but allow himself to fall back into that bitter darkness when her soothing presence was replaced by one of terror? There was no other way for him to deal with the anguish he was sure to find in her eyes the moment she awoke. No way else for him to cope with the despair that ate at his still sensitive heart.

Still struggling with his resolve and newly formed realization, the fifteen year old hitokiri turned sharply when her small body sat straight up on the futon. Muscles jumped in protest at his tenseness, eyes blazed indecisively, and his mind wailed a warning. _Don't look! It's too soon! You'll be lost in those eyes if you look now! Lost in the misery and hatred of those beautiful eyes!_ However nothing could have readied him for the wide eyed child that his gaze took in.

Tears still streaked her round face and shimmered brilliantly at the corners of her irises, but those two sapphire pools that stared across at him were not wide in fear or anger. Instead there was a sadness that was quickly fading behind a fierce resolve and confused concern. For him? Doubt warred with wonder inside his mind, and in his own confusion his muscles relaxed and all he could do was stare. Stare at the child as she crawled out of the covers, dragging the top one with her, and quietly wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face into his chest for comfort.

"Did you have a bad dream, too?"

Kenshin started in surprise at her innocent question, the idea probably the only explanation her mind could conjure for his actions.

"Daijoubu. I'll protect you," she whispered softly, before sighing and drifting off to sleep once more.

Amber eyes softened at words that were spoken in all honesty, but with no inclination of what they truly meant. To him. Wrapping his free arm around her, he smoothed the unruly mass of dark hair from her face.

"Arigato gozaimasu."

x

**Glossary**

**mou -** exasperated expression

**ne -** right?

**Oyasumi nasai -** good night

**daijoubu -** it will be ok/ I'm ok

**arigato gozaimasu -** thank you... the second part is not necessarily needed, it just adds a measure of politeness, and in this case a large show of respect and gratitude

A/N: Sorry that this one was so sweet, but Kenshin will be showing his harsher side later, so don't give up on it just yet. Also, I want to address a few problems that I had originally with some thoughts that were expressed... and I will just get them out of the way now in this chapter (since it was originally in the fifth... and I'm sorry, but I was none too happy when I wrote this... and I don't expect anyone else would have been either). Alright... Kenshin has not...**not...** adopted Kaoru as some sort of daughter figure. There is no fatherly affection towards her what-so-ever and there was never meant to be any. His feelings towards her are something he himself cannot explain... and does not ever feel the need to dwell on it... at least right now, at this point in the story. Like-wise, Kaoru does **not** see Kenshin as a father figure, I tried to hint at the fact that Hiko would be supplying that role, and her feelings towards Kenshin will be addressed later in the story, as well as the feelings she has for the deaths of her parents. Also... aha... there will** not** be any pedophilistic shows of affection in this story... I don't do crap like that and I never meant for this to sound like that. I'm sorry if it will or has, but I couldn't ignore the fact that some of the other characters might view it that way themselves... I wanted to keep a realistic kind of feel to the way they think...and come on... if somebody like the Battosai all of a sudden decided to keep a small child...a small female child... it might seem kind of iffy... That being said, I would like to also point out that this is a romance story, so **yes **they do get together... eventually. The whole point of writing it this way is to show how much Kaoru truly helps him with every aspect of his life... throughout each stage of her own. Now, I hope that this has cleared up any issues that some of the readers have or might have with my story... I never meant for it to sound like some sort of child abuse...and I'm truly sorry. (and I'm laughing while writing this because me writing something like that is extremely hilarious to me)

Now, keep in mind that I wrote this after chapter five, and so some of the tenses are not what you would expect this early in the story, but believe me, you will understand later... Thanks for reading and please, drop a review... as always.


	3. Healing Changes

Thank you all for reading and reviewing, and I must keep in the fact that I was totally surprised that I almost made someone cry in that last chapter... thank you for telling me that I have affected you so in just my writing... it is very touching. Aright... read on...

Disclaimer: Yeah yeah... do you have to remind me...

x

Chapter 3: Healing Changes

In the weeks that followed there was a small but definite change in the Hitokiri Battosai that no one but a select few were privy to. However, to that minor circle the difference was profound enough to make them stop and wonder. The attitude he showed toward others was still the same, a cold indifference shining through tawny eyes, and he kept mainly to himself, as always. Lately, though, if caught alone, a small smile would curve his lips and soft amber irises would hint at an amethyst underneath.

Katsura noticed the first change in him only the day after his declaration to keep his new ward. A chance meeting in the hallway of the inn had them bowing politely to each other and then moving on their separate ways, but Katsura could not help but notice that his hitokiri seemed calmer. As though something had soothed the ever present tension in his shoulders, relaxing muscles in his jaw and around his eyes so that he no longer looked ready to jump on anyone who even breathed wrong. There was still that same fierceness to him; that untamed, wild beast hunkered down ready to strike, and yet… it was patient now. Content to bask in the sun and let its prey come to it while it waited in a moment of peace.

_If the child could do that to him in a day, I wonder what he'll be like in a month or so._

Katsura shook his head, focusing himself on the paperwork in front of him. That thought had been formed with a distinct trepidation, but he had soon discovered how unfounded it truly was. The fear that the Battosai would turn too soft and become dull had been proven an absurd notion, time and time again. In fact, almost a year later, he seemed sharper and more focused than ever, and if there was anything that needed worrying about it was the fact that he might be too selective about the times and places he carried out his assignments. How could he complain, though, when the number of collateral damage had gone down considerably and the targets themselves were all very much dead?

Sighing he rubbed at the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. The Shinsengumi were becoming more troublesome by the day, delaying or sometimes intercepting their movements completely. Already he had lost five good spies to their "policing" and more soldiers than he cared to count. If their operations continued in this form for much longer they'd be at a stand still, unable to exert pressure and make progress as needed. _There has to be some way to go around them, evade them, something… at least find out where they are getting their information from._

A sharp knock sounded at the door and Katsura shoved away the piles of papers and folders gratefully. Some sort of distraction was needed and he would not get the chance to see Ikumatsu for days.

"Come in."

Katsura watched Himura enter, his eyes flickering over the blood on his clothes without pause, but instead settling on the slight tremor of his hands. Dark brows knitted together briefly before his gaze was forced away by the withdraw of those hands into the long sleeves of his outfit. Looking up into his face he found no difference in his gaze or the set of his jaw, had it been a year before. But it wasn't, and the hardness about him tipped him off that something was wrong. Sighing in his mind, he readied himself for more bad news. _I was hoping Himura would be able to avoid them interfering with his work at the least, _he thought angrily.

"Is it done?" A question this time, his wariness and frustration working through his mind to settle in his voice and choice of words.

A sharp nod was the only reply, but it was still enough to relax his mind, loosening the muscles in his chest in a sigh of relief. _At least something went right._

"Good, there are other matters to attend to." Picking up a folder from the top of a pile, he leaned forward to hand it to the man across from him. One arm unfolded after a brief hesitation, reaching out slightly shaking fingers. Retracting his arm quickly, Katsura pulled the documents out of his range.

"What is wrong, Himura-san?"

"Nothing." The low growl of his voice echoed his own frustration, doing nothing to convince the older man.

"If there is some further news I need to know about your last assignment you will tell me now." Dropping his own voice, he ordered the hitokiri to inform him, aware that it was the only way to get the facts from him.

"Our information was faulty, the target was not alone."

Katsura took this in without pause. "Who else did you have to kill?"

A pause, "The son."

Knowledge of the target ran through his mind rapidly and he realized that the son he was speaking of was the only child of the wealthy supporter he'd had assassinated. A child indeed, as he was only ten years old. Understanding dawned and he placed the folder in his hands back on the desk. _That assignment is wasted on him anyway, too much of a precaution on my part. I will give it to another._

"You are dismissed." Filing away unneeded papers and folders, he waited for the hitokiri to leave.

Kenshin sat still in confusion at the sudden dismissal, his voice flat when he spoke. "Katsura-san… you have not given me my orders yet."

"That is because I don't have any for you. Now, if you will please excuse me, there is business to attend to in another room."

Katsura stood and Kenshin was forced to rise with him.

"But sir…"

"Himura-san, you are not needed here at this time. Everything has been mapped out and is in progress for the rest of the week." He turned to the hesitant hitokiri. "I suggest you rest up for your next assignment. I will be expecting you in a weeks time."

Katsura left him standing in the room, wondering at the reasons behind his boss' actions. Clenching his trembling fingers together, he left the room as well. The reasons would have to wait, right now he needed a reminder of why he was doing this in the first place.

x

Kenshin stood in the doorway of the living room, much like he had a year before, watching the light flicker over the two forms on the couch. Kaoru had taken to waiting up for him when she knew he would stop by. Now, he suspected, she stayed up most nights just to be sure. Sometimes Hiko would sit with her, most times he was already asleep, but always she was there. Blue eyes would smile for him and she would wrap small arms around him, seeming to need his comfort as much as he needed hers.

Tonight his presence went unnoticed for a few moments, or in Hiko's case, ignored. Kenshin could not find it in himself to mind as his eyes searched for comforting signs in the girl, his gaze only for her and the steady rise and fall of her chest and the reflections of light in her eyes. When those sapphire pools finally turned toward him, he watched as they widened slightly before she jumped down to run over to him. Vaguely he realized that he was still covered in blood, and that might have been the cause of her shock, as he always made a point to show up clean. All of this was lost, however, as he bent to catch her in his arms. Kneeling before her, holding on desperately, he buried his face in her unruly hair and took comfort in the tiny fingers that wove through his own and the small pressure that told him she was hugging back.

Hiko turned to his student only moments before Kaoru looked up, feeling something wrong with his usually calm ki. Sharp eyes took in the lost look in his amber depths and the way he seemed to dismiss everything else but the girl. Blood still covered his arm guards and clothes, sticking in clumps to his hair and sliding down his face in dried rivulets. The scar stood out as vividly as ever, seeming to mock his pain and serve as a reminder of the price he had to pay for the peace he wanted.

_What have you done, boy, to make you look so vulnerable and disoriented?_

Arms tightened almost painfully around the girl, as if afraid she would disappear. Hiko took this as a sign to leave. Rising quietly to his feet, he flipped off the TV and left the room to the healing that needed to occur.

For an unknown amount of time they stood, the girl allowing him to hold her, patiently smoothing out hairs on his neck. Seconds, weeks, an eternity later he felt her pull softly but insistently away from him and he had no choice but to let her go. The sharp pain and horror he felt at murdering an innocent ripped through his heart at her release, as if it were a signal, placing an unfamiliar pressure at the back of his eyes and throat. The face of that child still hung behind his eyelids and sickened his stomach. Everything about the death horrified him, making him think only of the girl he called his own and the innocence that glowed from her eyes and resounded in her laughter. What if that had been her? What if he had killed her? Would she hate him now if she knew what he had done? A panicked fear flashed through his mind, and his gaze flew to the child that now pulled questioningly at his hand.

"Kenshin?" Her voice was worried, and the concern only grew in her eyes when he did nothing but stare at her. Stepping forward she briefly wrapped arms around him again. "Daijoubu." Pulling away, she smiled. "You just need a bath and sleep. It'll make you feel better."

This time Kenshin allowed her to pull him toward the bathroom, only vaguely aware of his surroundings, concentrating instead on the feel of her hand in his and the small yet sturdy bones that hid beneath the surface. Much like all of her. Only when she left him there alone with strict orders (his mouth curved slightly) to wash thoroughly and to not forget about behind his ears, did he focus on what he was doing. Forgoing the suggested bath, he jumped in the shower instead and turned the water up so high it almost scalded his skin. By the time he was finished scrubbing all the blood off, and most of his top layer of skin as well, he felt light headed and his chest hurt from breathing in so much steam.

Drying off slowly, he dressed and tied back his hair in an almost lethargic state. Whether it was the hot water or Kaoru's reassuring presence, he no longer felt horribly focused on his latest kill. Thankful for this at least but aware that the pain would not be just covered up, he left the bathroom to enter his old bedroom.

Since Kaoru had moved in with Hiko permanently, she had been given his old room as it was bigger than the second guest room. A futon waited for him in there, but it was mutually understood that he would never use it, choosing instead to sleep against the wall near Kaoru whenever he stayed on those rare occasions. So it was to her room that he headed, and her shoji that he slid open to find her already dozing on top of the covers of her futon waiting for him.

Smiling to himself, he bent to pick her up and moved the covers to place her under them. Tired eyes opened and smiled back at him before closing and drifting back off to sleep, one small hand now fisted in his shirt. Instead of pulling out of her grasp he found himself laying on top of the blankets next to her and holding that hand to him, watching as she breathed easily in her sleep. The way she trusted him so readily with her defenseless form touched him, making the need to protect her swell fiercely in his chest. That he always wanted to protect her formed as a new concept in his mind.

Always seemed too much to ask for, as every person or phase in his life had faded quickly, leaving him to move on alone. Would this time with her last? No, it couldn't. Soon she would be a teenager and then an adult. How would she see him then? Would she want anything to do with him? Would she find someone else to share her time with? Yes, surely someone pure like her deserved someone just as pure to take care of them. That definitely could not be him, not after that night or any of the nights before. He had no right to keep her.

Amber eyes hardened and glowed in the dark with the finishing of his thoughts. _No, she is mine, and I will allow no one to take her from me. I claimed her that night, she herself willingly accepted. __**She is mine**__._ A low growl rumbled against the back of his throat and he watched her stir at the noise. Guilty, but uncaring, he quieted, searching the blue eyes that studied him back.

"Daijoubu ka?" Her soft whisper announced her inability to decipher what was wrong. Still caught in his anger and possessive emotions he answered without thinking, a harsh growl in his chest.

"You're mine."

Sapphire eyes blinked, a blank look staring back at him, and then she smiled again, lighting up her whole face cheerfully.

"Hai, Kenshin, I know."

Kenshin's hard expression softened at the surety of her tone and he berated himself for being so foolish; she was only a child after all.

Kaoru, unaware of any reason to doubt his claim, snuggled up against him, curling fingers through his fiery hair. Yawning, she murmured against his chest.

"Will you teach me to swim tomorrow?"

Looking down at her dark head, he wrapped an arm around her blanket covered form. "Hai."

"And the next day?" she asked hopefully.

Chuckling, he pressed a kiss to her hair. "Hai, and the rest of the week if you like."

"Yatta!" she declared softly before drifting off again, content in her ball of warmth and love, wrapped as she was in the embrace of the deadliest assassin in all of Japan.

x

Two weeks later a meeting that Katsura was to attend came under attack by the Shinsengumi. All who were present were slaughtered and only Katsura survived, disappearing from the eyes of both sides. The Choshu clan, in disorder without the steadying hand of their leader, launched a counter attack against the Wolves of Mibu. Being far fewer in numbers, they were annihilated.

Fearing the end of the war too soon, the Choshu regrouped again, attacking and hoping to repel their enemies advances, but all was in vain. The military power they apposed, with nowhere to focus their attack, strapped hundreds of pounds of explosives on all of their known hideouts and especially their public headquarters, destroying them and more than half of the areas surrounding. In the resulting chaos, residential and commercial districts were set on fire and the local police and fire departments were unable to keep up with the blaze. Kyoto was burnt to the ground in one night, leaving many homeless and without families, but they finally eliminated the true underground headquarters at the inn.

During it all, the Battosai fought, secure in the knowledge that Kaoru was safe under the sharp eye of his master. Nothing was able to stop the fire or the massacre of the main force, however, and in the end all that could be done was to help as many as possible to escape the fires and sharp swords of their enemy.

Late the next morning he returned to the secluded house up the mountain, strict orders from the revealed Katsura to stay out of sight until word was sent still ringing in his ears. With nothing else to do, he crawled back into bed to sleep the rest of the day under the watchful eyes of a six year old girl he had named his.

x

**Glossary**

**Daijoubu ka? -** Are you ok?

**Yatta! -** exclamation of delight or satisfaction

A/N: Ok, Kenshin does not live with Hiko and Kaoru... Hiko just lets him stop by when he wants to because Kaoru enjoys his visits. So when I said that Kaoru waited up for him after assignments, that does not mean he would always show up, just sometimes, and like I said, when she knew... so that doesn't even mean that she knew about hardly any of them... It's not like he told her every time he had to kill somebody. XP Anyway, the next chapter will start picking up the story line, and get this baby on the road... always review and thank you... (bows low in gratitude)


	4. Training

Thanks for the reviews... and continue reading...

Disclaimer: I don't own him, or her, or him... or him... lol

x

Chapter 4: Training

"Strengthen your stance, little one."

Kenshin watched critically as Kaoru adjusted her feet properly, gripping the bokken determinedly in her hands. With a nod of approval he sent her off into the next set of kata that she was beginning to learn by heart.

It had surprised both of them when she had expressed her interest to learn, or rather to have "a sword like Kenshin's" for her birthday. At first he had flatly refused, amber eyes flashing and angry, afraid that she would not be able to handle such a burden. Hiko had said nothing, which meant he probably did not agree with his immediate decision, but was going to stay out of it as Kaoru was his responsibility. Kaoru herself had been hurt and confused for days, unable to comprehend why her wish to learn to fight made "her Kenshin" mad at her. Although she did not let it show outwardly, which had surprised him since he could tell anyway. That stubborn streak of hers had clamped down hard at his refusal, and instead of crying like he could see she had wanted to, she had clenched her small jaw and nodded.

"Then I don't want anything, thank you." With that level declaration she had walked out of the room, chin even and spine straight. Hiko had chuckled mercilessly, shaking his head at the pair before going about his own business.

In the end, after he had calmed down, Kenshin had been forced to look at the reasonable side of the situation. Just because she was going to learn to fight did not mean she had to, especially since she lived with Hiko and had his own constant presence around, insuring her safety completely as they were both fiercely protective of her. A fact that he found especially amusing when it came to Hiko, who was acting more and more like her father every day.

Also, what could it hurt by teaching her? It would lessen his worry for her when he was gone and help to center herself with its discipline, not to mention put to use that bottomless well of energy she seemed to survive on. Besides, he was beginning to feel the strength in her fierce ki, and her determination to learn would mean she could possibly be great at it.

So after days of her distant behavior, stubborn quips, and Hiko's laughter, Kenshin had presented her with her very own wooden sword on the day of her birthday and a promise to start training her the next morning. He couldn't help but feel that any trouble caused by this in the future was well worth the happy glow in her eyes and the way she almost tackled him in her enthusiasm to thank him.

Now, month's later, he was wondering why they hadn't started her out training sooner. The skill she showed she possessed and the speed at which she learned was amazing, but then he suspected it was born from a need to show him that she could do something independently. Not that she didn't enjoy training. No, her ki practically sparked and danced with joy every time she moved through the deadly steps. Happy every time she learned something new, ecstatic if she pulled a move off to her liking, and glowing, a grin spreading from ear to ear, if he praised her.

Between the two men they worked out just what to teach her and what not to. That she would learn Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu was out of the question, or at least the strenuous finishing moves that made up the style. They required too much taxation of the body, and she was much too small to handle them, though they would never tell her that. Hiko had instead proposed that Kenshin start off with just the basics, gradually introducing her into the more complicated structures of offense and defense when it seemed her body could handle it. Later, he would take over and decide what would be safe to teach her further, and, of course, first would be the masking of her ki. Irritably he grumbled about how annoying it was to have it sparking off the walls and unbalancing his train of thought and pottery working every time she stumbled across something that would make her exclaim in delight. Kenshin had chuckled at that, knowing full well his master enjoyed her sparks of life and enthusiasm almost as much as he did, and that he was only truly concerned with how anybody else nearby would react to the strength she was already showing.

Shaking his head when he found his thoughts wandering, Kenshin pulled himself out of his trance to watch the girl slide gracefully (or as gracefully as a seven year old could) through her swings; stepping like he had shown her, on the balls of her feet, and concentrating only on her own movements. The training gear he had found for her was only slightly baggy on her slender form, but she stated that she didn't mind and he found she liked wearing it to any other form of clothing she owned. Spray from the waterfall was dampening her hair, making the ponytail he showed her how to fix hang heavy down her back and her messy bangs cling to her sweaty cheeks and forehead. The sun was starting to sink below the horizon and he felt the wind pick up minimally, ghosting down the collar of his own training gear.

_She'll catch cold if we don't head back soon._

Standing up and walking to her, he waited for her to finish the last move of her kata before stopping her.

"That's enough for today."

"Yatta, I'm starving!" Kaoru exclaimed happily, bouncing around to collect their things before falling into step beside him. Automatically she reached for his hand, gripping it comfortably with her own, and he grinned in amusement. _As much as she looks like a little warrior when she's swinging her bokken around so seriously, she's still my Kaoru. The little girl who always seems aware of my emotions and needs the reassurance that I am here._

x

Early the next morning Hiko left them alone in the house to go into town, an errand he said that would probably take all day. With Hiko out of the way, Kaoru begged Kenshin to let her help cook breakfast, a feat the older man had denied her as soon as it was apparent she was hopeless. Not about to refuse her the opportunity to try, he agreed, but was kept on his toes as he tried to keep up with her fondness for disasters. In the end everything turned out harmless at the least, and Kaoru was wearing more than half the food she touched in her hair and on her clothes.

Smiling at her carefree manner and bouncing figure as she ate breakfast across from him, he gave no thought to the mess they made or the time it would take to clean it. All that mattered to him at that moment was her obvious pleasure, and besides, she had seemed to pick up on his cleaning skills somewhere along the line and would no doubt help. Caught in his own content world watching her, that warmth lingered with him even as he stood up to answer the door after a few knocks.

I'izuka stood in the opening outside, causing a scowl to instantly cover his face. This man was the chosen informant that stopped by every month with news of their current situation. So far nothing had been heard about Katsura or where he was hiding, and no new movements had been planned to occur. Kyoto, still under reconstruction, was a bloody city where rivals fought out in the streets, uncaring of the public and innocents there. Still, Kenshin could feel no real desire to abandon the small peace he had found to go back and fight. That was why he could never feel anything but loathing when the man showed up, anger clouding his mind for the possibility that he could be carrying orders for him to return.

Besides this, he couldn't help but feel uneasy about his presence for the mere fact that Hiko was not there. Hiko flat out hated the man, finding him to be untrustworthy, and in light of this always made sure to keep Kaoru in the house away from I'izuka's eyes and knowledge that she even existed. Strangely this made him feel better, even though he thought his master was just being a little paranoid about the whole situation. Now that he wasn't there, though, there was no one to watch the girl and keep her away while they talked. All he could hope for was that she would stay inside and clean up when she was done eating.

"Ah, ohayo, Himura-kun, enjoying your time off?" The man's voice alone was enough to grate on one's nerves. Too falsely cheery and friendly.

"Ohayo gozaimasu, I'izuka-kun. What brings you here today?" _In other words, say what needs to be said, and get the hell out of here_, his mind growled in irritation. _Before Kaoru becomes too curious and comes out to see_.

"Straight to the point as always I see. Does that mean you don't want to go find a couple of girls with me?"

Kenshin resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he had found Kaoru liked to do when Hiko made sarcastic comments. Instead he settled for narrowing them into an un-amused glare.

"Maa, maa, I get the point. I know I am early this month but…" A loud clatter sounded in the house behind the Battosai followed by a chorus of feminine giggles. "Whoa, maybe you've already got one?"

I'izuka stepped slightly to the side to peer curiously over Kenshin's shoulder. In one sudden move he found himself shoved back roughly by the hand fisted in the collar of his shirt and a growling hitokiri pressed close to his face.

"You will mind your own business and stay the hell…" About to say more, Kenshin abruptly fell silent, his sensitive ears picking up advancing footsteps. Dropping the man hurriedly, Kenshin stepped back into the doorway to try and stop her progress, but only succeeded in becoming the target of her headlong dash.

"Kenshin!" The longer arms and taller figure of the seven year old could now wrap around his waist, her head leaning into the lower cage of his ribs. "I think you'd better…" She broke out of her breathless giggles at the sight of the strange man. Pulling away from Kenshin's side in embarrassment at her rude interruption, she bowed politely, the effect almost lost by the clumps of food still sticking in her hair.

"Gomen nasai, I did not mean to interrupt." Backing up slowly, she was about to turn and leave again when I'izuka stopped her.

"It's ok, little girl, just meaningless talk between old friends. I don't think we've met." The stranger bowed. "I'izuka."

"Kaoru," she supplied uncertainly.

"Is that all? Or do you wish for me to call you Kaoru-chan?"

Kenshin watched a small flash of anger flit across the sapphire eyes beside him. "You did not give me your full name," she accused.

"Kaoru!" Kenshin angled a disapproving look at her and she immediately dropped her head, but the defiant look was still in her eyes and the set of her jaw. _I did not realize she was so touchy about not having a family name._ Thinking quickly, he turned back to I'izuka, putting a hand on the shoulder of the girl next to him.

"Gomen nasai, she tends to get spoiled up here. Kamiya," he stated the name abruptly, startling the girl who looked up in confusion. "her name is Kamiya Kaoru."

"Ah, a lovely name for a lovely little girl." I'izuka inclined his head in acknowledgment. "It is a pleasure to meet you. Who knew Himura-kun was hiding such a cute companion like yourself." Kenshin felt an uneasiness crawl up his skin and his arm automatically pulled Kaoru against his side, taking comfort in the feel of her next to him and the small hand that fisted in the back of his shirt. "Selfish man, keeping you all to himself." I'izuka finished teasing her, but the desired effect was lost on an innocent mind.

Tilting her head up and to the side questioningly, she directed confused indigo eyes toward the stranger. "Why shouldn't he? I am his."

I'izuka's eyebrows shot up and Kenshin immediately turned Kaoru around, pushing her gently into the house. "Would you please start cleaning if you are done, Kaoru-chan." Kaoru shot him a curious look at the honorific, but nodded her head before disappearing into the house.

"Quite a spirited and innocent little thing. I wonder why I haven't seen her before. Recent acquirement?" A dark brow arched suggestively, then was joined by its brother when another low growl rumbled up the Battosai's chest.

"What are you doing here, I'izuka-kun?"

I'izuka swiftly explained the current situation which was basically nothing new, and the only reason he had come was to give him his wages. In the back of his mind he couldn't help but find it to be interesting that the Battosai had taken in a stray child and seemed to be very protective over her. _Who wouldn't be though? She has the makings of a beautiful woman, what with those eyes and thick, dark hair. Fiery too. Maybe even enough to handle the attentions of The Hitokiri Battosai_.

"If that is all, I have things to do."

Recognizing the dismissal for what it was, I'izuka bowed one last time and left down a mountain path towards Kyoto. Kenshin stood in the doorway, suspiciously watching him leave and feeling for his ki once he was out of sight. Something about his reaction to Kaoru had dropped a dead weight into the pit of his stomach. Always one to trust his instincts, he found he couldn't help but relax only after he was completely sure he was gone, and not even fully then.

Walking back into the kitchen distractedly, he found Kaoru scrubbing at the dishes they had used, her current being the one she'd burned their breakfast in. He smiled at the remembered look of horror on her face, then shook his head. It was difficult to be anything but happy, or at the least amused, around the girl. She was cheerful and exhilarating. A bundle of laughs, giggles, orneriness, and innocence all shining out of beautiful sapphire eyes. Stepping up behind her, he meticulously began picking the food out of her hair.

"Mou! That hurts!" A small, soapy hand came up to bat his away, but only succeeded in dropping bubbles on her head to join the now dried food.

Kenshin laughed and reached around to swiped a handful of suds into his hand before promptly sticking them on the end of her nose. The resulting giggle warmed his heart and he ducked behind a counter when she turned, two handfuls of bubbles at the ready, aimed for him.

How could one not be happy with her? And was it really so selfish to keep her to himself when she did not seem to mind? Did he really care?

No, he couldn't find it in himself to care. As long as he had her.

x

The rest of the morning was spent on house-hold chores; laundry, cleaning, cooking lunch, cleaning again (compliments of Kaoru), until finally Kenshin announced it was time to head up to the waterfall. Kaoru bounced off happily to change into her training gear while Kenshin gathered her bokken and another one he had found for himself. He had promised to spar with her today, to see how her skills would hold up against an opponent. Meeting up with her at the door, they both set out in the direction leading further up the mountain.

"Why Kamiya?"

Kenshin turned his head blankly toward the girl at the abrupt question, before looking away once again, his pace steady. "Do you not like it?"

"No, it's fine, it's just… why not after Hiko-sama…or you?"

"You are not related to either of us." Kenshin stated, as if that settled it.

"Hai, demo…I belong to you." Kaoru persisted, her voice and expression confused and slightly hopeful.

Kenshin stopped in his tracks, turning to the child next to him, a resigned look on his face. "Kaoru, that is something you do not need to go around telling everybody." A hurt look crossed her face and he silently cursed the harsh tone his words came out on.

"You don't want me anymore?" Tears collected at the corners of her eyes and beaded out to hang heavily from dark lashes.

Sighing, he bent down to hug her to him, and cursed more at the tremors that ran through her small frame. "That is not what I meant. I'm only afraid the wrong person will hear you and try to hurt you to get to me." Little fingers wrapped around him to twine in his hair, and he smiled at the movement, realizing it was her way of comforting herself. "I wouldn't know what to do if someone took you from me." He pulled away to cup her chin in his hand. "You are the only joy I have in my life, little one, and I selfishly want to keep you all to myself."

Kaoru smiled through her tears, rubbing the back of one hand across her eyes. "Really?"

"Hai." Sword calloused fingers removed the remaining wetness from her cheeks. "I would be lost without you, Kaoru."

Her grin was large and content with his statement, happy that she was needed. Taking his hand when he offered, they walked the rest of the way to the waterfall, both mind and heart at ease.

x

"So what have you found out?" Two men sat alone in a broken down house on the outskirts of Kyoto. Thus-far the building had been ignored as the fire made it uninhabitable, but the inside was stable. If a person could stand the constant reek of ash and soggy wood, then the place could almost be livable.

"He has a child." The second man stated smoothly, his voice only slightly whiny. A high pitched over-tone that put the larger man on edge.

"A child? He has a wife you didn't inform us of?" His voice rang with irritation and resentment, promising pain at the apparent slip.

"No." The smaller, shadier one waved a hand nonchalantly in the air, letting the underlying threat roll off his shoulders without so much as blinking. "Not that kind of child. One he has taken in, a stray, probably an orphan from the fires."

"Really…that is interesting." The deep voice spoke with loud sarcasm, blatantly showing the nearing end of his patience.

"Yes, I thought so too." Dark eyes looked up at the leveled glare and smirked. _The dumb ninja, he's not even catching on_. "Especially since said child is a beautifully innocent little girl who has no qualms about speaking her mind. Or the fact that her Battosai has possessively claimed her as his own, allowing no one but his master to even know she exists."

"Meaning?"

I'izuka sighed, his own patience now wearing thin. "A man like the Hitokiri Battosai possesses nothing. In his line of work, possessions only hinder his freedom and make him vulnerable. That he has claimed the child shows her worth to him. Enough to keep her for himself when nothing else has ever interested him before."

The bigger man looked thoughtful. The traitor had a point. Battosai didn't seem like the kind of person who would rely on anything or anyone. Keeping to himself, allowing for total freedom. Tying himself to a girl, a child, meant she had to be something special. Enough to catch his attention and keep it.

I'izuka smirked, _finally he catches on_. "You should probably go tonight." Hard eyes snapped back to him, brow furrowed in irritated confusion at the half order.

"Why?"

"The master wasn't home. He usually makes a point to glare at me every time I show up, but his presence was absent today. Which is probably why I even saw the girl."

"Really?" He nodded quickly, decisively. "We will go late this afternoon. Wouldn't want to be caught by the both of them."

I'izuka nodded his head, a grin tugging the edges of his mouth.

x

**Glossary**

**ohayo (gozaimasu) -** good morning (very polite additive)

**gomen nasai -** sorry, beg pardon (formal)

**demo -** but

A/N:... hit the button already... XD (both would be preferred... me likes reviews)


	5. Madness

OMFG...that was a lot harder than I thought...and took a lot longer than I wanted. Sorry about not posting sooner, but life's been hell... I'm sure you understand. With everything that has been going on I didn't have much time to write and sometimes I just didn't have the inspiration to. I really didn't want my problems reflecting onto this story, so I repeatedly had to reread everything just to make sure it was coming out the way I wanted it to... really though...sorry about the wait. Anyway, now that it's here I hope that you enjoy, and I hope that it's not disappointing in any way... killing people is harder than I thought...well...killing them creatively without making it sound like nonsense. Oh, I wanted to make sure you understand that I will **not** be putting my story on hiatus... so don't worry... I love this story too much and it helps when life becomes too much. Also, I will be going back and fixing grammar problems and the like when I'm fully finished, or whenever I feel like I want to...but I am going to fix it...just wanted to get it out so people could read... Alright, enough blabbing...on with the blood...I mean killing... I MEAN SHOW!

x

Disclaimer: This single minded, overprotective man is not mine...geeze.

x

Chapter 5: Madness

Kenshin nodded sharply at the respectfully bent figure before him, a signal that their spar was over. Harsh breathing rasped through the air, issuing from the girl's burning throat. Briefly the thought that he had been too rough on her crossed his mind, but was easily dismissed in the face of her improvement. Having someone to test her skills on had showed her exactly where she was lacking and how the forms she knew applied in an actual fight. So far all they had been to her were smooth swings and pretty foot work. Now they would be seen in a whole different light.

"You did well. Now, do a cool down run and we will take a short break before I show you the next set of kata."

Kaoru nodded, still too out of breath to speak, and wiped the sweat from her palms before lifting her bokken again. Taking a familiar stance, her chest rose and fell in one slow, steadying breath, and then she smoothly turned, bringing down the wooden sword in a fluid, deadly arch. Kenshin watched for only a few seconds before moving away, his hard amber eyes scanning the tress suspiciously.

Something was wrong…had felt wrong for most of the day; strumming his nerves tightly and tensing muscles that had been relaxed for months. This feeling, he suspected, was the reason he was pushing Kaoru a little too hard and fast in their training. Originally he had planned on quitting immediately after they had sparred, but with his jumpy senses and frustration sparking just below the surface he needed some kind of an outlet. Maybe it was because he had been inactive for so long. Maybe peace did not agree with him the way he thought it should. Did he really wish to be killing again so badly that he was reacting like an addict? This thought sickened him, making his anger peek and mix with his already heightened turmoil.

Growling irritably under his breath, he threw his own bokken aside next to their other gear, the wood clattering loudly against the rocks. If this kept up he was afraid he would do something he would regret later. Already the girl was looking at him in confusion, not quite afraid, but wary all the same. Kami-sama knew he would never hurt her, but scaring her was almost as bad.

_Just calm down. There has to be something to explain this…reaction_.

Sitting down against a tree a small distance from his practicing student, he let his mind wander over what could be the cause of his emotions suddenly starting to rip at each other's throats, vying for his attention. _I didn't feel this way this morning, and nothing but the occasional boredom has ever hit me before_. A passing predicament, he realized, as he could never stay that way long with the girl around. _So what triggered this?_

I'izuka's teasing face popped into his mind and the suggestive comments that he had made to him and to Kaoru. _Sick bastard, _his mind railed, _she's only a child. _Anger and disgust welled within him with the realization that anyone would even think of doing such a thing to a seven year old. The Battosai gave no thought to what others concluded of his motives toward the girl, their opinions never bothered or mattered to him, but he couldn't help but seethe angrily knowing that some of them might actually do that themselves.

_I'll have to keep a closer eye on him when he comes around from now on, since he knows of her. He will not be allowed near her. No one will be allowed to touch her._

Hate still tingeing his mind, but glad that at least he had found what had put him on edge, he glanced up at the slightly shaky form of his Kaoru. Amber eyes narrowed further as he caught the tremor in her jaw, suggesting there was more than just weariness affecting her limbs.

_Dammit, she worked up quite a sweat earlier and these cooler nights are not going to help her any. I should have brought a coat for the walk home so she doesn't catch a cold… or worse._

Cursing his foul mood and the effect it had on his mind, he stood up again, walking over to her and motioning for her to stop.

Kaoru gratefully dropped her bokken to her side, the usually light wood like a dead weight on her burning muscles. Clenching her jaw tightly she ordered her limbs to stop shaking and looked up into the hard amber irises unflinchingly. Kenshin felt a stab of amusement at the determination in her tired eyes, but he was very much aware of her exhaustion, no matter how hard she was trying to hide it.

"You're tired, we should quit for the day." Anger still burned through his veins and projected out onto his words, deepening his voice into a cold rumble.

Kaoru's head snapped up like she had been slapped, feeling a twinge of hurt and then insult that he thought her too weak to handle the rest of his rigorous training. "No, I will be fine after a short rest. Then we can continue." Turning away, she lifted her bokken again, intent on finishing the cool down she had started.

The Battosai almost stopped her, a part of him worried that she would over-exert herself, but instead he shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "Then finish up and rest. I will be back." Kaoru nodded, the jump of her hair the only indicator of her assent to him as she was facing away. Then she was taking up where she left off, leaving him to walk away alone.

A warning shiver ghosted up his spine, locking the bones straight at the idea of leaving her by herself. Twisting sharply he took in the area surrounding himself and the girl. There was no sign of anything abnormal, and no traces of ki when he searched, besides the blatant fire of the child's. For several long seconds he stood, reading the air and searching with narrowed eyes... but there was nothing. Reluctantly he stepped away, the tickling feeling of foreboding still in the back of his mind. Shaking his head, he pushed it down, sticking it together with the irritated feelings that had been plaguing him. Maybe he should stay… but she needed a coat and he needed the motion to distract himself, and so he walked on.

In all actuality he didn't even need to be going, since she would probably be done and resting by the time he returned. The problem with her being too cold could have easily been solved by sitting with her, like he would sometimes do, but his mind strayed away from this after the suspicions and conclusions he had made only moments before. True he did not think of her in this way, but he would not be comfortable with any intimate contact until he could cleanse his mind of others thinking he did. Not that he cared, but so soon after realizing… he shook his head. It just felt wrong.

Halfway to the house, his senses screamed for attention, tightening his chest painfully and tensing the muscles in his shoulders. Battle ki soared around him, ruffling his hair and the browning leaves on the ground and in the trees in response. Hand going instinctively to the hilt of his katana, he whipped around, intent on running back to Kaoru. The only thing standing out sharply in his mind being her exhausted form and the easy prey she would make… because of him.

Kaoru's ki spiked hot and fiery, a distant flash hitting him only moments before an echo of a battle cry sang through the air in response. Heart clenching in terror, he growled and took off at a dead run.

Feet away from where he had stopped another presence pressed in on the air around him and his ears picked up the soft crunch of a leaf a split second before the ring of metal. Never one to hesitate, he launched forward, rolling under the path of the blade that aimed for his neck. Coming fluidly to his feet he faced off with his opponent, taking in his stance and appearance with only a glance. Flowing into his own attack stance, he gripped his katana, muscles relaxing and tensing all at once, anticipating the dance about to take place.

"So you're Battosai? Not much to look at are you?" The small ninja smirked, then launched forward quickly with his own short sword. The hitokiri side-stepped easily, irritated at the juvenile skill of the man compared to his own. With a flick of his wrist he severed the forearm completely in two, dropping the ninja's hand and the weapon it still clutched to the ground.

Another distant battle cry rang through the trees, only just overcoming the roaring of the waterfall. Amber eyes tensing, he let out a harsh hiss before slicing out in a deadly arch, ripping open the man's back. The black form fell heavily to the ground, grunting in pain while his blood pooled out around him. Flipping his hold on the hilt, the Battosai jammed the tip of his katana into the soft flesh of his neck, ending any chance of survival. Withdrawing quickly, he dashed away, leaving the small man to die painfully.

Breathing steadily, he arrived at the clearing before the waterfall. Ki practically raged around him, all but one; one that flared with determination but was clouded by exhaustion… and pain. A deep, feral growl worked up the Battosai's chest, rumbling against the back of his throat as an uncontrolled anger blanketed his mind. Embracing the madness readily, he charged the first opponent that came into his view.

There were three of them, he could feel the difference in their ki, and a small part of him battled with his desire to be anticipatory or horrified. That it took three to subdue one girl struck at the rage inside him, while another, harder part looked forward to the fight to come and the slow, cruel deaths they would endure.

x

Kaoru cried out again, only this time in shocked pain, slamming roughly into the jagged rocks and clutching the broken bones of her left shoulder. The large man stood over her, laughing heartlessly at her attempts to defend herself. Exhaustion was already dragging at her body, had been since the beginning, and she was hard pressed to keep up with the big ninja. He was strong, much stronger than her, and somehow she knew that he was just toying with her. This was really starting to piss her off. The least he could do was take her seriously.

"So you're Battosai's little bitch." Reaching forward Tatsumi grabbed the front of her gi and pulled her up, lifting her feet off the ground so she was eye level. "You have enough spunk to put up with him, though his taste goes a little young for my liking." Kaoru leveled a glare at him, the pride she had felt at giving him a black eye all but gone.

"Let go of me." Kaoru ordered him, keeping her voice as even as her tired mind and body would allow.

"No, little girl, you're coming with us. A little insurance to get to the Battosai."

Kaoru's eyes went wide with horror as his words sunk in, paralleling the ones Kenshin had spoken to her only hours before. Tatsumi laughed again, snapping her out of her unbidden thoughts and the overwhelming grief that she had become a burden to the man she looked up to and loved. A hiss of anger escaped her lips, echoing her Kenshin unknowingly, and she kicked out with a renewed determination, catching him in the stomach, spit flying off his lips from the force of the blow. Dropping as gracefully as she could manage to her feet, she ducked under his arm, running as fast as she could down the slope toward the trees.

Over the roar of the water she could hear the yells of a fight only just ahead of her. Picking up speed on the decline, she flew headlong over the bend and then stumbled in shock at the view before her. Blood splattered the ground in random splashes of deep red, covering her vision and attacking her nostrils with its metallic scent. Movement drew her gaze away to the two men fighting, and when red filled her vision again, her heart leaped at the knowledge that Kenshin was there. Nothing bad could happen with him there.

Taking another step forward, intent on being closer and letting him know that she was ok, she forgot about the man behind her. A large hand covered her mouth, muffling any yell of protest that she would have given.

"Little bitch," he hissed in her ear, pulling her harshly back against his chest, the grip on her jaw tight enough to snap it and the fragile length of her neck. "You will sit still or I'll have to break your legs this next time." Kaoru struggled anyway, but he anticipated the move, locking one arm around her chest and lifting her up, applying even more pressure to her chin so that her throat was stretched awkwardly. Breathing became difficult because of the angle and her vision swam with the lack of oxygen and stabs of pain from her shoulder, the flashes of white she made out giving her the impression of softly falling snow. Then, blessedly, everything disappeared.

Kenshin stumbled in distraction when Kaoru's ki abruptly fell under a wave of darkness, the fight all but gone in her small body. The muscle bound man he fought swung out with his ax, taking advantage of his misstep with every intention of chopping him in half. Hissing in rage, all rational thought gone, the Battosai ducked down, the sharp blade of his enemy just grazing his shoulder, and lunged forward, catching the giant of a man in the groin. Leveling out his katana, still in full motion, he sliced completely through his leg, ripping a scream of pain from his lips.

Sliding to a stop, balanced on the balls of his feet and one hand on the ground, he barely gave himself enough time to fully recover his equilibrium before launching back. Quick as a cat he twisted, pulling up the point of his katana to bury it in the nerves of the ninja's lower back. A low grunt was all the man managed as he collapsed on top of his bloody stump, paralyzed and bleeding to death.

Standing over the dying man, the minor cuts on his body nothing compared to the gashes covering his victim, his fiery amber eyes locked with those of the leader. With a practiced flick of his arm he sent blood slinging off his katana, then stepped around and toward Tatsumi.

"Stay back, Battosai, or I'll snap the girl's neck." Large fingers tightened around the jaw of the limp figure, bruising the tender flesh around the bone.

Kenshin stopped, his angry gaze taking in the body dangling ungracefully from Tatsumi's firm grip. Large snowflakes swam in the air between them, ruffling with the cold breeze and bursting with the intensity of their ki. Ignoring the warning this promised, he angled his chin in challenge, eyes burning with loathing and rage, and spoke, his deep baritone full of promise for an ugly death. "I _will_ have her back."

"She will be dead before you can even get close enough." There was a slight tremor in his voice, anxiety that only heightened when the hitokiri growled in response. _This is not the cold-blooded killer we thought he was. No. There is too much fire and passion in his action. Unreasonable actions. Like he doesn't care what happens to himself_.

The Battosai sneered at the fear he could smell from the ninja. Taking a step forward, katana raised threateningly, his eyes focused only on his goal. Only on the man who kept him from holding his Kaoru and keeping her safe.

Pain seared through his shoulder, spreading to throb ceaselessly at his neck, back, and chest, even after he thought he had dodged successfully. Shock jumped in his mind as he felt something attach itself to the same arm, then yank him sideways. Coming to his senses moments before he plunged into the air over the side, the Battosai scrambled to catch a hold of the passing rocks. Fingers slipping without any resistance, spray from the fall having made them slimy with time, he went over, Tatsumi's smirk burning into his mind.

In mid-flight he caught a glimpse of his opponent, a gangly creature clinging to the rocks effortlessly, its abnormally long arm stretched out slightly after its release of his shoulder. The vengeful bloodlust still shrouding his mind overruled any surprise he might have felt at its appearance, and all he could do was glare a challenge before slamming into the freezing water below.

Orienting himself quickly underwater, he surfaced in a rush, the fire flowing through his veins urging him on. All that mattered was getting Kaoru back, and the more time he spent with her out of his sight, the more time that man had to get away. _The more time I spend killing him…_

Shoving heavy bangs out of his eyes, the froth and constant waves from the fall pushing against him, he searched the cliff for his enemy. There was no one in sight, however, and even the energy search he undertook only turned up one other person. A frustrated growl tore at his throat when he realized that the leader had fled, taking his Kaoru with him. Already the persistent need to go after her, to find her, retrieve her, and protect her was burning over his mind and behind his eyes, dismissing everything else around him but the path that led to her. Running on his senses and instinct alone, his arm shot out and up, blocking the metal glove aimed for his head.

Sparks spit off with the clash of steel on steel, its harsh ring angry and defiant. Angling molten eyes in the direction of the attack, he found the arm retracting once again, this time from the center of the waterfall.

_I don't have time for these games! _

Patience finally snapping with the rest of his emotions and the continual interference of the creature intent on blocking his path, he turned his back on the waterfall and his enemy. Struggling against the water and the weight of his now heavily sodden clothes, he worked his way to the edge of the pool and climbed out onto the wet rocks. Once on his feet he ran up the path that led to the overhang where he last saw Kaoru, his eyes searching frantically even though he knew that she was gone. Vaguely he felt the flare of the creature behind him, but he had already dismissed him as non-threatening, or rather unimportant, especially when it abruptly disappeared in a flash of pain.

The Battosai scanned the area around the rocks, looking for signs of heavy foot prints or disturbed foliage, anything signifying the departure of the man with his Kaoru. When he finally found their trail, what felt like hours later to his distressed conscious, he moved forward eagerly, his mind already running through several scenarios of agonizing deaths for the ninja. When he was detained yet again by a hand on his arm he almost screamed in frustration. Not waiting to find out what would happen this time, the hitokiri sliced upwards with his still bare blade, and then let out a rumble of air through his nose when he met only air.

"Boy, what the hell are you thinking!"

A man stood before him, large in stature with deep black hair and a long white coat. Something inside him said he should know him, but the irrational state of his mind urgently hissed that he was detaining him from his Kaoru, therefore he was an enemy. Latching onto thoughts of blue eyes in pain instead of their usual laughter, he hissed menacingly and swung out again… only to miss… again! Screaming in defiance, he moved into an extremely lethal kata, one that had taken weeks to perfect, and danced gracefully with the complementary swings of his blade. The man seemed to almost lazily dodge every move he made, however, and then lunged in under his defenses, smacking him soundly in the face with the back of his hand. Stunned at the blow, his amber eyes widened and then he was being lifted bodily off the ground and dark, angry eyes bored into his.

"Idiot! Calm down before you hurt yourself!"

Hiko held the struggling teenager effortlessly, waiting patiently for some semblance of sanity to soak through his murderous rage. Watered blood dripped thinly from his clothes and hair, but it was nothing in comparison to the blood he could see in his eyes. They were irrational and impatient, fiery and ruthless, insane and almost… demonic; all darkness in the face of the theft of his light. Inside Hiko felt something akin to fear shift in his heart; fear for the boy and anyone near him if anything irrevocable happened to his little girl. _She obviously means more to him than either of us realized… more than these idiots realized as well, _he thought with a return of his usual amusement and maybe just a touch of cynicism.

The Battosai stared with hard amber eyes at the figure before him, each heavy breath issuing from his nose hot and feral. Distantly Hiko could almost find himself imagining tiny furls of smoke curling out of each nostril, a warning of the fire within… or to come. Inside the Battosai's mind, the angry swirl of emotions slowed long enough to uncover clear distinctions about the dark headed man before him; teacher, friend, father, guardian, protector, master… but above all, he cared for his Kaoru. Relaxing muscles minimally, he nodded his head sharply, he would help bring her back.

"She's gone."

Dark eyes narrowed at the abrupt statement, then Hiko nodded as well, dropping the boy from his grip. Gracefully he landed on silent feet then turned without a word, dismissing him again to take off after the trail. Hiko followed close behind, moving just as silent, knowing his presence was once again being ignored in favor of the larger concern. Also, he understood that even if he was trusted once he might not be trusted a second time, and although he wasn't worried about the boy overpowering him (that would be impossible) he was worried about the time it would take and whether or not he would hurt himself. There was too much madness in those eyes, a focused rage that cared for nothing but its goal. Already he had witnessed the extent of it twice; once when he had turned his back on the gangly creature he himself had been forced to kill when it attacked his baka deshi, and then a second time when he no longer even recognized his own master. It would do well to stay out of his way and make sure others did too, until they found and retrieved the girl, especially with the death grip he had on the hilt of his bare katana.

x

A/N: Ok, Kenshin is focused, completely and utterly on getting Kaoru back...that's it. He doesn't care about himself or anybody else, just her... his mind has built up such a rage at her assailants and at himself for letting it all happen that it won't let him think rationally, and he personally does not care. Hiko has noticed this, and though he cares about Kaoru too, he still cares about his student, so in going with him he is hoping to save both of them... he doesn't plan on interfering, but keeping everyone else from it. I'm sorry that Kaoru didn't get to fight much and that I didn't write about what she did, but she is only seven and extremely exhausted thanks to Kenshin's sparring match. I did want to show that she is strong enough to get a couple hits on him, but not strong enough to fully protect herself...yet. In her mind she is more worried about Kenshin than herself... and yes she does know that he is the Battosai, so she knows who Tatsumi is talking about. Funny how they each are so worried about the other that they never worry about themselves...sigh. Oh, and I'm sorry that Kenshin kills them off so quickly, but come on, they're not in the binding forest so it's not like he can't use one or all of his senses...I kind of had to kill them off easily... not to mention he's pretty pissed... Alright, lots of notes from me today...lol. If there is anything that you still would like to speculate on I will gladly answer them, just review and tell me what you think...thanks a lot for the opinions and thanks for keeping reviewing even after I paused for a little while...it really inspires me to keep writing...if not for me than for you guys. See you in the next chapter...


	6. Like Kenshin

Oh my... I don't have much to say except... I couldn't help myself. (I'm trying not to die laughing while typing this) Hopefully you guys won't kill me for this one, but I'm feeling rather ornery... I really, really wanted to make this chapter so much longer... like twenty pages or so, but this was just too tempting. Go ahead... read on... you'll understand...

Disclaimer: You know you're not mine right? (gulp... backs into a corner) I think he wants to kill me...

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Chapter 6: Like Kenshin

Kaoru blinked open heavy eyes, the sharp pain in her shoulder immediately attacking her conscious mind. Behind this insistent ache throbbed a duller one, pulsing around her jaw and stomach, turning her body into a lead weight and already exhausting the small reserve of energy she had retrieved from the forced sleep. Lying still on the wet floor beneath her, shivering slightly with each breath and trying to ignore her sensitive muscles, she took in the darkness surrounding her.

Before her eyes could adjust to the dim light, she searched through her other senses, gathering as much information as she could, preparing herself to either fight or flee. For she had to escape. There was no way she was going to allow herself the weakness of just lying there, waiting for Kenshin to rescue her. There was no way she was letting this man use her against him when he did come.

The room she was in, for it had to be only that with the absence of the cool wind and rustling of trees, was dank and stank of burnt wood… she was in town, where the fires had reached. _And since it is still standing, I am in one of the poorer sections, which they ignored in favor of repairing the richer and more used parts of town._ The arguing of two voices could be heard near her, in another room she assumed, since they were muffled and she couldn't make out what was being said. One voice she instantly recognized as her captor, his deep baritone ingrained permanently in her mind, along with his scathing remarks to use her against the Battosai. The other one, while seemingly familiar, was un-place-able no matter how hard she tried to concentrate on it. Shaking her head she dismissed it as unimportant. What mattered now was escaping, and their raised voices would create just the right distraction for her to search for a way without their knowledge.

Pushing herself into a sitting position, cradling her injured arm against her protectively, she bit back a grunt of pain, determined to keep as silent as possible. _Silent, like Kenshin… _Closing her eyes she visualized the red-head, the way he always moved; gracefully, smoothly, effortlessly… fluid like water. Taking one soothing breath, dark indigo eyes opened over the set line of her mouth and she stood, mimicking his movements with only a little difficulty. Ignoring the protests of her body, the girl stepped lightly on the balls of her feet, searching around the room for any sign of a weapon.

Eyes now fully able to pierce the darkness, Kaoru could see the one door leading out to the voices, and the one window that was boarded over, dim light filtering through the cracks from the lamps outside. The floor was mostly bare, only the soggy splinters of decaying wood and musty tatami offered any sign of relief to its smooth surface. Stubbornly refusing to give up, she did another round of the room, alternating her attention between the floor, her own movements, and the argument behind the door, but even her diligent exploration of every corner and under the mats proved unsuccessful. Huffing a breath in frustration, the girl walked slowly to the window to test the strength of the boards. With the rest of the house rotting, why shouldn't the windows be as well?

Grasping the corner of one carefully, wedging small fingers under the edge as far as possible, she pulled outward, still desperately trying to be quiet. When the wood did nothing, she exerted a little more effort, repeating the process each time until she was almost yanking on it in despair. When the panel finally did give way it only ripped a couple inches up along the grain, dispensing a foot and a half long piece into her hands, the base thicker in her palm and the rest tapering off into a sharp point. Unfortunately it also produced a loud cracking sound that echoed in her anxiety heightened hearing.

In the other room the voices stopped, and then the heavy pounding of feet rushed to the door, ripping it aside to crash harshly against its frame. Frantically ducking away, Kaoru stared at him with wide sapphire eyes, the pupils dilated and almost obscuring the surrounding irises. Fear gripped her, and despair at her failure, quickening her heart beat until she worried it might pound straight through her small ribs as he advanced on her. A smirk played firmly over his mouth as he taunted her, asking where she thought she was going, working on her fear and using it to his advantage.

Gripping the piece of wood determinedly, she forced down the immediate dread. _Calm, like Kenshin…_ He reached for her, secure in the knowledge she could go nowhere, and she struck out quickly with her impromptu weapon, jabbing the point into his palm then withdrawing just as quickly. A harsh grunt of pain issued from his lips and he yanked away, allowing her the opportunity to skirt around behind him. Watching him carefully, she only just had enough time to crouch down under the back handed swing he made at her retreating figure. Striking out again, she aimed for his unprotected underarm, but he anticipated her attack this time, aware now that she had a weapon to fight back with. Abruptly his other arm came around, smacking her soundly in the side of the head and knocking her down to the floor, a high pitched ringing shooting through her ears.

Shaking the noise from her head, Kaoru rolled to the right, over her uninjured shoulder and out of the path of his stomping foot. Pushing hard against the floor with her hand, the wooden spike still clutched in her palm, she concentrated on getting to her feet as quickly as possible. _Quick, like Kenshin… _Standing again, crouched down on the balls of her feet, she prepared herself to lunge, seeing the flowing motions of her Kenshin in her minds eye. A harsh cry tore from her throat as she jumped forward, the point of her weapon held out before her, waiting to be buried in the soft flesh of his stomach. Suddenly she found herself facing nothing, the large ninja disappearing from her sight. Eyes widening with surprise, she was forced to tuck in on herself and roll with the momentum of her lunge.

Accidentally landing more on her left shoulder than planned, Kaoru sucked in a hiss of breath through her teeth, clamping down on the stab of pain and vehemently shoving it from her mind. Once again on her feet, she turned, scanning the room for her enemy, only to have him grip her from behind, lifting her from her feet with an amused chuckle in her ear.

"Aren't we feisty after our nap." Another chuckle issued from his mouth, mocking the fact that she was breathing hard, obviously exhausted, and the fact that he had tricked her so easily. _Dammit, I wasn't quick enough._ "You definitely know how to keep a person on their toes."

Unexpectedly one large hand gripped her broken shoulder, squeezing ruthlessly, fingers digging into the flesh and shifting the bones sickeningly. Shrieking loudly, the sound echoing through the house and the inside of her skull, she could think of nothing else but the pain as it coursed through her body, spreading out from her shoulder to numb her whole arm and half of her neck and back.

"That's for stabbing me in the hand little girl." The voice was forced through clenched teeth, jaw tightened with the flexing of muscles down his arm to the hand committing her torture. When it became apparent the man was not going to stop, and the ache numbed her body mercifully, conscious thought filtered back through her brain. Screaming again, pain and anger mixing in her voice, she lifted the forgotten spike and brought it down in one deadly arch, every ounce of her strength pouring through that one attack. Abruptly the wood jerked in her hand, forcing splinters through new calluses and underneath to the still sensitive skin, but the small sting was nothing in the face of his screech of agony.

Muscled hands dropped her from their hold, and as the ground shot toward her she instinctively threw her arms out to catch her fall. Instantly her left arm buckled under the weight, overbalancing her body and making her follow through with the original motion. Sinking onto the floor she only had enough energy to roll over to her side, off the center of her misery, and clutch at it pitifully, blinking back tears of rage and hurt… and the blackness that was threatening to overwhelm her. _I must get up… I… have to… get up… must be strong… Strong… like… Kenshin…_

The wordless noise stopped somewhere above her, and the house went deathly silent… too silent. _Have I gone deaf?_ Ragged breathing abruptly entered her ears, assailing her senses, warning her to get up. Get up now! Fighting her own body to grasp at this thought, to follow it to the safety it promised, she struggled with her good arm to lift her weight off the floor. Shakily she half sat up, the tremors in her arm jolting through her whole body, only to be accompanied by the leaping fear of her heart.

Tatsumi stood over her, blood pouring down from the gapping wound in his upper thigh, her make do weapon still sticking into him. Anger was clearly showing in his eyes. Anger and pain and blood… and death. She could see her own death in his eyes… and it scared the hell out of her. Twitching fingers grabbed her by the collar of her gi, yanking her up once more to face him, and he growled. One hand reached down to his side and wrenched free the splintering barb, then waved its bloody mass in her face threateningly.

"For that, you little bitch, you'll get more than just a few broken bones."

x

The Hitokiri Battosai ran through the streets of the still half burnt city, the thick fall of snow clinging to his hair and hampering his vision, desperately searching with every one of his senses for a clue, any sign that his Kaoru had been through. After the route had opened up into the residential buildings surrounding Kyoto, he had lost their trail. With no tracks to follow along paved roads, the snow melting instantly on the still warm ground, he had hunted blindly, a frenzied panic rising in his mind and clenching at his heart. Vaguely he felt the presence of another behind him, following closely; watching, searching, and disappearing at regular intervals, but the figure never interfered with him, so it was ignored. What mattered to his quickly darkening mind was the loss of the light he was urgently seeking.

After an undeterminable amount of time passed and there was still no sign of the pair, the hitokiri felt a ball of frustration and rage swell inside of him. _It's been too long. He's had her too long. _Solid golden irises swept across the night darkened streets, the stillness mocking his intent and bringing out the harshness of his own breathing until it resonated in his ears. _I have to find her… I __**will **__have her back. _

The presence shifted behind him and suddenly caught his attention. Averting angry eyes towards the figure, he only just noticed another form lunging at him. A growl worked up his throat at the interruption, but another part of him almost welcomed the distraction. The need filling him to kill the one responsible, but with his absence he almost jumped at the opportunity to relieve the pounding desire. Bringing up his still bare katana, he prepared himself to attack the blue coated intruder, when it was knocked aside by the person he had noticed earlier. Dark eyes angled at him over a broad shoulder, and a usually smirking mouth curved down in a curious seriousness.

"Go. Find her."

Nodding absently, thoughts returning to his original purpose, he dismissed the strange man again and the feelings of familiarity. Rushing away from the battle, a fleeting awareness of more of the blue coated warriors impressing itself on his vision, he rounded a corner to pass through a dark alley. Bursting out into the lamps on the other side he stopped, once again probing his surroundings for any sign of the ninja and the little girl. Finding nothing, again, he pivoted, his jerky movements a mirror of his harried emotions.

Then he felt it. The barest flare of her bright ki, washing over him like a breath of relief and calming him with its fierceness alone. Shoulders lifting from their unnoticed slump, he instantly jumped after it, clutching onto the small sense of her in his fear of losing it. _She's so far away, _he thought anxiously, his feet automatically speeding him forward in response, urging his muscles to keep up with a pace he had never achieved before.

Blocks down he abruptly shot to the side, the feel of her ki sparking hotly in response to another, shouting out their location in reckless abandon. Ducking through another alley, he followed their clashing energy through the mess of others locked in their own battles. Avoiding these with ease, uncaring of their disputes but wishing to avoid unnecessary detainments, he froze on a rooftop at the high pitched shriek coming from a few houses away and the bright flash of pain her ki spiked into. Clenching fists into white knuckled balls of fury, he ran to the ledge, launching over the side without hesitation, and landing smoothly onto the ground below.

Only seconds later another scream echoed through the night air, immediately accompanied by a more masculine screech. _They're there._ Honing in on the sounds, he found them to synchronize with his Kaoru's ki, and the painful exhaustion that covered it. Growling in suppressed violence, he ripped aside the door to the dingy house, taking in the empty room he entered with only a flicker of tawny eyes, focusing instead on the entrance to another room. Darkness consumed the light from the lamp, creating a feeling of foreboding, but the Battosai had long since been a friend with the darkness and therefore feared nothing that was born from it. Stalking quietly forward, he entered the room on eager but cautious feet.

Eyes adjusting quickly to the blackness, years of working in nothing but coming to his aid now, his gaze was instantly drawn to the ungracefully slumped body on the floor. Blood assaulted his senses, working into every crevice of his personage until he felt fully violated by it in a way that had never bothered him quite this violently before. Because this time it was hers. This time it was someone he cared about, more than life, more than his own death… because this time it belonged to the only person he had ever felt he could not live without.

Screaming in intense agony and rage, the Battosai lashed out at the only other person in the room, lunging forward blindly, seeking only to take revenge for the one he loved.

x

A/N: XP ... see you in the next chapter... yeah I know... I'm such a bastard... one that loves reviews...


	7. For Hurting What's Mine

Wow...you guys don't trust me at all... sniff. Sigh... I wouldn't trust me either...heeheehee. Anyway, here's the next chapter, once again wanted to make it longer, but with what's coming up next I figured it would be a little too emotional to tack on right after this overcharged scene of events. So it will be up next. Hope you won't be disappointed in the fight scene... I guess I feel a little like that myself... but every time I went back over it intent on changing, adding, or just plain making it kick more ass... I couldn't. Something about it always made me like it while I was reading then made me hate it when it was done... Well, I'll shut up and let you get to the chapter...I'll leave a few notes at the end. Oh, and a few words are glossed there too...

Disclaimer: I'm sorry... but if we keep meeting like this your real owner might get upset...well ok... I'll try my best.

x

Chapter 7: For Hurting What's Mine

_Screaming in intense agony and rage, the Battosai lashed out at the only other person in the room, lunging forward blindly, seeking only to take revenge for the one he loved._

Tatsumi dodged the rage induced attack just barely, pulling away from his spot by the side of the door, a position he had taken up in hopes of surprising the irate hitokiri. Molten eyes shown through the darkness at him, challenging and promising all at once. He would pay for hurting something of his. Dancing out of the way of yet another frenzied swipe of the deadly blade, he ducked into his opponents space and struck a sound blow, cracking the small man in the jaw with the muscles of his bicep. Blood spurted from his mouth, air rasping harshly through the aching wind pipe, yet the hitokiri did nothing but lunge back. No sign of acknowledgment even present in his actions.

The Battosai willing drowned himself in a darkness so intense that he felt there would be no way out, no way for him to ever reemerge from its achingly sweet promises to take away the pain. Then again, there was really no need for him to come back, not if she wasn't there to comfort him. Without the settling image of her twining small fingers through fiery hair, he felt no desire to ever see the light again. Because it would not be hers.

Coldness finally settling over his brain, his actions moved smoothly with a deadly precision and his blade sliced cleanly through the chest of the large ninja. A surprised grunt of pain ripped through the air, but the wound was not deep enough to take the man down, and he jumped away once again. Hissing in defiance, the hitokiri spun, latching onto the blatant ki of his enemy and following it freely, blocking the lethal attack aimed for the back of his head. Striking out, he grazed the underside of the large arm, another splash of blood dripping down his katana and onto the floor below.

Twisting without hesitation, he arched his katana over his head, swiping out for a head shot, his blade sparking off the metal gauntlets protecting the ninja's wrists. Pushing forward with all his weight and muscle, they broke apart, amber eyes darting after the dark movements of his opponent. Jerking up the blade in his hand, he gripped the duller area near the hilt, holding it out in front of him to block the shot aimed at his face. The punch struck soundly, a faint crack ripping through the room, warning of the damage done to his weapon. Growling irritably, he curved sideways, throwing his shoulder into the movement and hoping to overpower any defensive actions the ninja might take. When the satisfying sound of flesh parting and the warmth of his blood flooded out over his arm, the Battosai almost laughed in triumph. _He's mine._

Tatsumi fell back against the wall, clutching his wounded biceps and forcing himself to stay upright on the shaky leg that was pouring out pints of blood. Nervously he stared at the cold rage frozen inside of amber eyes. In the space of a few seconds the smaller man had changed, from turbulent and emotional to cold and heartless. Nothing but death shown through his eyes when he looked at him, and suddenly he doubted his decision to use the girl against him. There was something between them that should not have been touched on, a bond that pulled them together and defied anyone that would interfere. _If I live through this… I'm going to kill that sniveling little bastard for even suggesting this insane plot._

"What's wrong?"

The low rumble shook the blood in his veins, and he desperately wished to be anywhere but there at that moment.

"Fight… fight me now!"

Another exact assault flew through the air, swishing the space around him and whistling in his ears. Vaguely he felt a large piece of hair fly off, and he knew that he was toying with him. _I will have a slow death then…_

"You wanted the Battosai here, did you not?"

The wood next to his face splintered and cracked as the tip of his bare katana lodged next to his head, a sting shooting down his neck where his ear was sliced off.

"Well, I'm right here." Solid gold irises bored into his own, only inches away from his face, the hot breath washing over him springing from a trembling jaw. In the ninja's mind he partly saw the hilarity in the situation; the much smaller man pinning him to the wall and threatening him to his face. But there was just something about his presence that spread throughout the whole room, overwhelming everything else until all he could see was him. Irrational fear gripped his mind and his pupils dilated in his wide eyed gaze. _This is not what we had planned on._

A low growl filled the air, impatience running through the hitokiri at the lack of response. Ripping his katana out of the wall, he stepped back far enough to bring the tip against the large man's chest. "For touching what was not yours to touch… for hurting what was not yours to hurt… you **will** die." A slow smirk pulled at the Battosai's mouth, curving his face horribly and lighting his eyes with promise. "In time… you will die. After you've begged for it."

A small gurgling sound wrenched them both out of their locked battle, and for a moment Tatsumi truly believed that it had come from himself. Except it occurred from somewhere outside of his body, away from the two of them. Shocked amber eyes turned to look over his shoulder, focused completely on the girl stirring sluggishly on the floor. Another whimper seemed to convince him she was real, and every muscle in his body relaxed, dismissing all else in the room but the fact that she was alive.

"Kaoru?"

The achingly hopeful voice that trembled from his lips was not the cold Battosai of moments before, and Tatsumi took a second to stare in disbelief and confusion. _Can she really affect him so… drastically? _Shakily the red-head took a step away, angling toward the body struggling to rise, every intention of helping her evident in his slightly reaching hands. Refocusing on his own situation, Tatsumi held his breath, stealing himself for what he was about to do, waiting for the exact moment he was sure the hitokiri would not see him move.

Kenshin felt his vision clear like the first rush of spring air; crisp, sweet, and revitalizing. Kaoru was alive! Dropping the weight of his katana to his side, he stepped away from the man behind him without any thought to the consequences, the only fact registering to his suddenly relaxed limbs being the need to help his Kaoru stand up. Help her make him believe that she was fine and was going to be fine. So when the full weight of his opponent slammed into him like a sumo wrestler, knocking him across the room and the sword from his hand, he was surprised to say the least. And pissed. At the intrusion of his moment to finally convince himself that she was safe; at the fact that he had let himself be caught off guard so thoroughly; and especially when the man chose to grab the girl roughly by the back of her hair and pull her bodily into the other room, a small shriek of pain issuing from her lips.

With no time to search for his missing katana in the dark room, the hitokiri picked himself up with a speed that many would have marveled at, and took off after the captor of his Kaoru. Darting into the other room, he found the man backing slowly up against the far wall, his eyes pinned on the white figure standing in the doorway. Piercing amber eyes flickered over the person, then turned away when he nodded in the direction of the man with Kaoru, a motion that clearly stated "he is all yours." _Good, he will not interfere._ Walking steadily forward, hand going instinctively to the short sword at his waist, he narrowed his gaze threateningly as desperate words filled the room.

"Stop, or I'll kill her. I mean it. I'll snap her neck like a twig." One large hand contracted around the slim column of her neck once again, stopping the hitokiri in his tracks and ripping a growl of frustration from his chest. "Now, back away slowly." The tremor in his voice was screaming his fear, his eyes flickering to the master in the doorway every few seconds. _I'm doomed… but I will kill her before he takes me._

The Battosai didn't move, every muscle in his body frozen in place at the thought of even trying to leave her again. _He will not take her from my sight this time. I will have her back. _This thought repeated over and over in his mind, reassuring and fraught at the same time. Slowly, meaningfully, he slid the short sword from its sheath, the bare blade catching the light and glinting with a deadly promise. _I will have her back._ Thick fingers tightened and shook around the underside of the girl's jaw, fear shooting through dark eyes when he recognized the intentions of the hitokiri.

Sapphire irises parted carefully, revealing the dullness that her intense pain forced over her as she blinked several times against the sudden light. The first thing Kaoru could focus on was the steadily advancing figure in front of her, the color red all that her clouded mind seemed to register. From the blood soaking both his shoulders, the trail trickling out of the corner of his mouth, and the fire that framed his head, red attacked her sight, and to her it meant relief. Because red meant him…

"Kenshin."

Strangely it was hard to speak, something was clenching at her wind pipe, making it hard to produce the air necessary to stimulate her vocal cords. But the small rasp of sound was enough to capture his attention, his sharp amber eyes instantly drawn to her conscious form and boring into her soul with their intensity. Another precise step brought him closer, his gaze locked with hers as he tried without words to reassure her that everything would be fine.

_I will have her back._

"I said stay where you are!"

Kenshin watched as indigo eyes widened with the knowledge of her situation, then narrowed as a wave of pain washed over her, a hiss wrenching from between her teeth. Anger seeped back over his mind at her misery, and he snapped his eyes back to the ninja, a growl of warning rumbling through the air. Tatsumi flinched visibly, but kept his hand firmly cinched around her neck, tightening it slightly in retaliation.

"Let her go and I'll make your death quick."

Stealing himself against the terror in his mind, Tatsumi summoned the last of his pride. "It seems my death is assured to end all my suffering, but for you… the torment of her death will stay with you for as long as you live."

Golden eyes widened at the plain truth of his statement. This man had guessed too much about the extent of his attachment to her… and intended to use it to cripple him. With the barest glance at the petrified blue eyes before him, the Battosai latched onto his deepest instinct to protect, to save her from the pain and finality of what the ninja had promised. Crouching low, he lunged forward, the tip of his wakizashi steady in his hands as he aimed for the man's heart, willing himself not to miss and hit the already broken body of his Kaoru.

The rapid movement of the redness in front of her pulled Kaoru out of her shock, latching instead onto the hauntingly familiar form his body flowed into. Sucking in a sharp breath, she closed her eyes tightly, biting her lip in an unconscious attempt to will herself to be still. _Don't move. Don't move. Don't move. Don't move… _Harshly the fingers around her neck contracted, cutting her wind pipe off fully and making her gag reflexively with the pressure. _I can't breath! I can't… I'm going to die!_ Losing all semblance of the calm state she was trying to force herself into, Kaoru instinctively reached up both hands and grasped the thumb digging into her throat, stretching her injured shoulder awkwardly into her body and tearing the skin over the sharp edge of protruding bone. With the white flashes of stars filling her mind and taking away all of her reasoning power, she ripped at the offending digit, digging her nails under his flesh and into her own as she attempted to relieve the strain it was causing.

Just as she found purchase and was able to suck in one gulping flow of air, Kaoru felt her body jerk backwards, slamming her into the muscled chest behind her and knocking what little breath she had won out of her lungs. Snapping open bright eyes, she almost jumped at the swirling amber burning inches from her face, anger and desperation still fighting deep in the grainy texture. Confused at the show of emotions, especially with the continuous flow of hot liquid searing a trail down her side, Kaoru tilted her head to the left. Catching a glimpse of the worn hilt protruding from the center of her captor's chest, her own injured shoulder only a bare space away, she let out a small gasp of horror before calloused fingers covered her eyes.

"Don't."

The baritone of his voice was still clipped and ragged, his heavy breathing harsh in her ears, but Kaoru didn't care, because she knew she was safe, at last. Dropping her left arm to her side she wrapped her right around his neck, burying her fingers in the spill of red hair down his back. Kenshin seemed content to hold her back, his embrace narrowing around her rib cage with each passing moment… until he shifted, jostling her shoulder with the movement and tearing a hiss of agony out of her already burning throat. Without warning the solid weight of his arms bracing her up disappeared, and she stumbled forward.

"You're hurt."

The statement was accusing and almost moronic with the condition she was in, but Kaoru could say nothing as he ran searching eyes over her form. With the stress of her impending death gone and nothing else to distract him from focusing completely on her, he finally noticed the blood soaking her left shoulder, turning the white of her training gi red and plastering it to her skin uncomfortably. Bruises covered her neck and jaw, as well as the deep claw marks her own nails had left behind, and her hair clumped to her head just above her ear, a trickle of blood seeping from the wound and finding its way down to her chin. Delicately he touched the sticky mass, pushing aside her now red hair and examining it before looking into her tired eyes.

With the many injuries he had seen since joining the war, he recognized the symptoms for a concussion readily; the dilation of her pupils, the fact that she was swaying dangerously on her feet and that she was knocked unconscious from the blow said it all. Flickering fiery eyes over to the still figure pinned against the wall, he found himself wishing he had left him alive so he could kill him slower. So he could pull his worthless body apart piece by piece until he screamed in agony and begged like the worthless smear of human flesh he was. Kenshin didn't realize he was growling under his breath until the tell-tale tugging of fingers stiffening through his hair yanked him out of his thoughts.

"Kenshin?"

Hard amber eyes diverted back to her, rage seething from every corner of his being and pressing in on the air around her until she felt unsettled by it, making her twitch nervously under his gaze. She wasn't afraid of him, never would she doubt his intentions towards her, but he was making her nervous, the untamed beast within him calling a challenge to any who dared mess with him at that moment. So it was with some relief and trepidation did she watch him turn away from her, focusing instead on the presence marching forward from the doorway.

At first it was the relief that filled her, the familiar form of Hiko coming into her blurry view and relaxing her muscles with the knowledge that now nothing was sure to happen. What she wasn't counting on was the reaction of her Kenshin.

Hiko walked up to the pair and watched the red-head tilt his head in his direction cautiously, uncovering the child in front of him. The sight of Kaoru, the happy little girl that terrorized his house, was heartbreaking. So much blood and pain should never have been allowed to be torn from such a slight body, and in all rights, Hiko wondered if she should have even survived at all. If she had been any other child, any other human, she would not have been able to bear it. The force of the blow to her skull would have been enough to kill lesser beings, let alone after so much blood was lost from the wound in her shoulder, the slight protrusion sticking out next to her collar suggesting a bone had poked through. So it was with no thought but that of a concerned parent did he reach forward to pick her up and carry her straight to a doctor.

"No."

Hiko stopped to stare in irritation at the possessive figure of his baka deshi standing protectively in front of the trembling child.

"She needs a doctor, idiot."

"You will not touch her." His voice still held a trace of the gravely texture he unconsciously undertook when angered.

"And who's going to stop me? You? Baka! You need a doctor as well!"

Mind still clouded and protective instincts locked firmly in overdrive, Kenshin could only comprehend the idea of someone wanting to take her away. So when the man answered him in such a way, his senses went on high alert, screaming of another threat to his Kaoru and the challenge he had called him out on. Reaching to the side, he pulled on the hilt of his short sword with one swift tug, yanking it clean from the wall and the flesh it had been buried in before levering its bloody point out at the intruder.

"Yes, me." Answering to the only half of his words he had locked on to, the Battosai once again raged in full force, running through his veins and begging to answer the scent of an opponent.

Heart racing in terror, the fear of the two men she loved crossing swords over her blanketing her mind, Kaoru stepped in front of Kenshin and wrapped her good arm around his waist, looking up at his face with pleading eyes.

"Daijoubu. Daijoubu! Dame, onegai… onegai…" Sobbing pitifully, she buried her face into the side of his shirt, clutching onto the soaked material desperately, ignoring the sharp stabs of the splinters still digging into her skin, and muttering urgent prayers to make it stop. "No more, please… no more."

Kenshin felt more than heard the cries from the girl at his waist, begging for him to stop, that she was ok… they were ok. Rational thought slammed into him with her words and he looked down at her tangled hair in a sort of shocked surprise. First that she would want him to stop protecting her, then with the realization that she wished for him to stop fighting because she was afraid. _Afraid of what?_ Looking up his eyes widened further at the angry and irritated dark gaze in front of him. _Kami-sama, what was I thinking?_ Flickering his eyes further around the room, they landed on the crumpled personage on the floor and the bloody pool it was creating, the liquid already soaking into the wooden floor and spreading towards their feet. As if enlightenment dawned without warning, her words came back to him and echoed in his mind… _no more… please… dame… _Closing his eyes over the shame he felt, he dropped the sword in his hand, the loud clatter making the girl jump and tremble harder against him. Wrapping his now free hand around her back, carefully avoiding her injuries, he held her to him, his own fingers finding purchase in the slightly grimy hairs of her pony tail.

_She should have never been submitted to this,_ he thought fiercely. _She should never have to deal with the guilt I have to carry. Never again will I allow this to happen. Never! _

"Gomen nasai…" Kenshin sucked in one, long shuddering breath, the word so inadequate in expressing his sorrow, but the only one that echoed over and over again through his mind. "gomen nasai."

Kaoru lifted her head away from him and watched as he opened his eyes somewhat reluctantly to look into her own. There was an uncharacteristic brightness about them that furrowed her brows in confusion and contemplation, especially when the irises themselves were darkened in shame. Tilting her head slightly in question she unwaveringly gazed up at him, wracking her slightly fuzzy brain for any image to compare it to, to judge his true emotions with that look. When he finally closed his eyes again briefly, slowly blinking his lids over the blatant emotion, the brightness was gone, but the telling wetness of red lashes brought it all home to her.

Smiling tremulously, Kaoru tightened her hold as best she could. "Daijoubu," her voice was softer, soothing now without the worry and fear of earlier. "Wakatta… eeto… shikashi…" Her brows furrowed a second time, her anxiety over the situation returning to try and make him understand her feelings, but with her injuries, thinking clearly was fast becoming a problem.

Kenshin's brows drew together in response to her own, but with his own worry; her disjointed words a testament to how much energy her injuries were costing her. Steadying her against him, he looked up at his master, anxiety twisting his features in helplessness. Stepping forward swiftly in response, relief present in his every move, Hiko felt a moment of thankfulness that the boy was going to trust him now. Taking off the long coat trailing around his large form, he quickly but carefully wrapped it around the swaying figure of the girl, hiding the bloody clothing from view as well as helping to keep her no doubt freezing body warm. Kenshin reluctantly let go of her to allow him access, but would not step any farther away than necessary. Annoyed with his stubborn pupil, for his continuous insistence to be always near and for the apparent single-mindedness that set him against his own master twice in one evening, Hiko growled irritably at the teenager.

"Don't just stand there you idiot, find your katana so we can get out of here."

Kenshin looked to him with some confusion, then down at his waist to the two empty sheaths, a look of wonder filling his gaze. Tossing faintly anxious eyes around the room, he immediately picked up his wakizashi, flicking the blood off absently as he searched for his katana. It wasn't until his hunt sent him into the other room did he remember it being knocked out of his hands. Striding over to the corner he was slammed into, he kicked a piece of bloody wood laying forgotten on the floor. Picking it up curiously, he examined the short stake and found blood on both ends, several inches in between missing the stain of redness that the blunt and pointed end held. Dropping it back to the floor with a raised eyebrow, he made a mental note to ask Kaoru about it later. Continuing to the far wall, he found the long sword shoved carelessly into the crack between one of the tatami and the wooden partition. Picking it up with a frown, his frustration only deepened at the looseness of the blade. Wiggling the metal with annoyance, the crack in the hilt splitting even more, he grit his teeth slightly before slamming it back in its sheath next to its brother.

Back in the front room, Hiko already had Kaoru cradled gently in his arms, her small face tense with pain even as her eyes were closed in sleep. Automatically Kenshin moved forward, arms outstretched to take her from him, and without question Hiko handed her over. With the state his pupil was in he weighed the circumstances of him dropping her because of his own fatigue or him being unable to protect her from any of the petty squabbles outside. Deciding with the latter, he willingly took up the guard duty himself, knowing the kid would not drop the girl even if he was dying. Not after the hell he had gone through to have her back.

x

**Glossary**

**wakizashi -** short sword

**daijoubu -** it will be ok/ I'm ok

**dame -** don't, stop, no good

**onegai -** please (request)

**gomen nasai -** sorry

**wakatta -** I understand

**eeto -** uh, umm, er (a pause filler)

**shikashi -** but, however

A/N: Ok, sorry if you didn't like the Japanese I put in, but I really like the way they sound...so much more emotional and they role off the tongue nicely. So beautiful...ahhhh. I kind of thought they fit the charged atmosphere better. Anyway, not much to say, only that you guys are so much fun... I wish to quote a saying from one of my reviewers that I really, really liked and made me laugh because it is too true... ahem... I believe it was something like "bloody fit"... I love it... I'm sorry, but for some reason it was just too fun to let go...anyway, hope I somewhat met the standard...and if there are any questions or concerns...other than Kaoru accepting her parent's deaths so easily, which I will be trying to explain later in the story...from her point of view... please review and ask away, and tell me if you would like me to reply personally or just in my next chapter. See you in the next one...


	8. Assessing the Damage

Oh yeah... that's right... 22 pages... an all time record! -victory dance!- Enjoy, because this was a total b-... Alright, read and I hope that you like! I'll put some thoughts at the end. Thank you so much for reviewing, You guys are the greatest! So, without further adue(?) XP this is just for you.

Disclaimer: Don't worry, I'll return you soon... maybe...

x

Chapter 8: Assessing the Damage

Hiko strode purposely into the hospital, uncaring of his appearance or that of the bloodied and armed man steadily walking behind him, the unconscious child held tensely in his arms. There had been no quarrels with them as they walked toward the more frequented parts of town, searching for a cab to get them to the hospital faster and out of the now harsh gusts of freezing snow. Thankfully there had been none. Nothing short of the devil himself would have kept them from getting there, but Hiko had not wanted to spare the time it would take to fight, even a few seconds.

Kaoru was bleeding profusely from the protruding bone fracture, and no pressure could be applied to try and stop it with the agony it put her through. Each whimper of pain put the two men's teeth on edge; Hiko kept grinding his jaw together to keep down the intense sympathy and anger, while Kenshin hugged her to him even closer, hoping, wishing, that he could take it all away. The way she desperately clung to his hair, unconscious as she was, seeking the comfort she always received from that action alone, made his heart weep that he wasn't able to supply that relief this time when she really needed it. So it was with an edge of frantic concern and anxiety that he almost ran into the hospital, trying to keep up with the longer strides of his master while steadying her small body in his arms.

It didn't take but a few seconds for one of the nurses on duty to have a doctor paged and a bed wheeled out for the broken body of the girl. Another passing nurse ran up to help strap her body down, their movements jostled by the hectic turmoil of the emergency room, as many other injured bystanders and warriors were being brought in for treatment. Kenshin stood bent next to her by the bed, her small hand still fisted in the long strands of his hair as they rushed into an empty room to check her vitals and stop the bleeding. It wasn't until they were there that the nurses finally noticed his presence, pulling Kaoru's arm away from him and urging him out of the room and to one of his own. His first instinct was to level the small woman with a glare and flatly refuse to leave Kaoru's side, especially with the pitiful plea that spilled from her lips to let him stay, that she wanted him to stay. It was Hiko's interference that finally decided the situation, one strong hand wrapping around his arm and yanking him out, forcing him to leave the room whether he wanted to or not.

"Get out of there you idiot, and get your own wounds looked at. I'll stay here with the girl."

Kenshin cast a harried look at his master before letting his eyes flicker over the frenzied movements inside the room. Nodding his head slowly he let the nurse next to him lead him to another room across the hall and proceed to check his injuries. There were no questions asked from the tiny woman, no concerns voiced over the weapons still stuck firmly through his belt; only where he knew he was injured and if he felt dizzy, nauseous, or had a headache of any kind while she shined a light in each of his pupils. Each question was answered in a blank sort of detachment as his mind strayed back to Kaoru and his ever present worry over her condition. When this was exhausted, his thoughts wandered over her words, the last words that she had spoken before passing out from the pain. _No more… dame… wakatta… shikashi… What had she meant by that? She wished for me to stop, but… demo… _

Kenshin closed his eyes, pulling his consciousness away from the small sting of the needle running through his skin, focusing instead on the frightened blue eyes that had stared up at him after threatening his master. _My own master. How many times this night did I turn on someone that wasn't my enemy? How many times did I come close to losing my sanity completely? _Slitting open his eyes minimally, he stared down at his own still bloody hands, his brows wrinkling in shame. _I should feel terrified that I can't remember, but… somehow I feel that this has happened before. Maybe not this extreme, but… something inside of me has become used to this madness. In a way that should not be._

Sword calloused hands fisted and shook in his lap, his anger turned inward and steady in a way that counter-pointed the fiery rage of only an hour earlier. _How could I let this happen? How is it that I've let this blackness sneak in and take over my life? At what moment did it cover my eyes until all I see is the blood underneath and not the life that I originally set out to protect?_ Next to him he felt the nurse's hands shake in fear at the hard expression that covered his face, the anger that was shining through his eyes. _Even now it blankets me in its coldness, pushing those away who are only here to help,_ he thought in dismay, thoroughly ashamed that he had scared her.

Breathing deeply he made a conscious effort to soften his appearance, smoothing the tightness of his muscles and forcing his body to relax. Knowing it wouldn't mean much now, but wanting to try anyway, he softly apologized, politely lowering his eyes to the floor and keeping the look of sadness that passed over them to himself when she jumped at his words. For a few seconds she neither moved nor seemed to breath, but slowly he felt the air around her relax and then her acceptance sang gently through the room. A weight he hadn't known was there lifted from his shoulders and he sighed, worry still tingeing his mind over Kaoru, but not so much with his master there with her. Instead he focused on the small victory he had won over the darkness, a small piece dispelled with the knowledge that he could push it away when needed. He wasn't sure if he would be able to throw it off completely, but maybe one day… _I will save these thoughts for when I am alone._

Eventually the woman finished with his stitches, the left shoulder leaving a much more ragged looking display of black crosses than the right's smooth, straight line. Gently she had wrapped a soft cloth around his throat, rubbing an ointment into the bruising and warning him that it would be sore for awhile since there wasn't much they could do with the injury being mostly on the inside. Next the nurse presented him with a washcloth and a basin of water to clean off most of the blood that she hadn't already caught. More salve was spread over the large purple areas covering his stomach and back after that, the nurse quietly chiding him when they were uncovered; a motherly scolding she probably used on her younger patients that slipped out unnoticed in the more comfortable atmosphere. Soon the bandages around his torso were tied in place and with nothing else to put on over them but his bloodied clothing, he pulled his gi back on. Standing up when it seemed she was finished with him he walked to the door.

The nurse smiled slightly at the way he kept casting furtive glances to the hallway, his worry for the little girl he had shown up with apparent in his mannerisms. Taking a chance when he began walking away, she questioned him about their relationship.

"Is she your sister?"

Kenshin turned, the confusion standing out starkly in his eyes. "What?"

"The little girl, is she your sister?"

"No…" he answered slowly, not quite sure how to answer her question.

"Oh, surely she's not your daughter. You don't look old enough for that." The nurse smiled at the unabashed look of shock on his face.

"No." This one was firm, unaware still as to why it should matter.

"Then what is she to you?" The young woman was clearly confused now, somehow the man did not seem like the type to become attached to someone that was not already important to him, such as a family member.

Kenshin ran the question over in his mind, searching for a way to answer but studiously coming up blank. He knew everything that she gave to him; peace, relief, light, laughter, energy, warmth, acceptance… a will to make himself a better person, a need to make her happy… because her happiness was his. Smiling slightly he looked at the waiting nurse behind him.

"She is everything I fight for."

x

Kenshin strode quickly across the hall to the room Kaoru was in, finding it to be dimmer and much more quiet than it was when he had left. Kaoru lay asleep on the bed, her small body wrapped in bandages and her face still tense in pain while a monitor beeped steadily beside her. A doctor was hovering over a chart filled with papers and notes of some kind in the corner, while silently conversing with a gentle looking nurse next to him, twin looks of concern covering their faces. Hiko stood next to the bed, the worry he was trying to suppress evident in the way his eyes flickered between the girl and the doctor, a frown forming on his face every time she softly cried out in her sleep.

"How is she?" Kenshin stepped up next to Hiko, his eyes on the girl even as he directed his question at his master.

"I don't know." Short, clipped words spoke of the man's frustration, his hands raking suddenly through his hair in anger. "They only just let me in, but I can tell that she is still in pain, much more than she should be if they would have given her any sedatives."

"They're letting her suffer?" Kenshin turned surprised, angry eyes up at his master, disbelief showing through his gaze that they would be so heartless to such a small child.

"I don't know their reasoning, but that is what I am guessing."

Kenshin turned away quickly, focusing back on the form of his Kaoru and the harsh breathing that was rasping out of her throat. The sudden need to hurt something entered his mind and he violently shoved it away, sickened that his first reaction to his anger was to always take it out physically on someone else. Someone that he believed was the cause for the anger in the first place. That someone who was causing his Kaoru more pain than necessary. Closing his eyes he latched onto visions of her laughing, happily smiling at him behind her shining blue eyes… she was his peace, the center of his light and the one reason he had for holding onto his sanity, for keeping that blackness at bay. Funny how it was also her whom could snatch that relief away, as well. Just the thought of her in pain, the sight of her tears and frightened eyes sending him into a frenzied rage that dared anyone to hurt her again so he could make them pay.

Panicking at the turn in his thoughts, he pushed them forcibly down, settling back on the original images of her whole and complete and innocent. Bubbling bright beneath his attention and lovingly giving all her childish heart back. Relaxing his unconsciously clenched hands, he opened his eyes to search her limp form, hoping to keep the calmness he had found. Black hair was scattered around her head on the pillow, the white of her bandages the only relief against the complete darkness of it, the long strips sheltering the wound on her head. Dark bruises covered her cheeks and jaw, standing out in sharp contrast to the sickly pallor of her skin. The length of her neck was bandaged as well, hiding the markings that he knew were there, the slight pink tinge it carried a testament to the claw marks she had given herself. A thin blanket was obscuring the rest of her body, but the small bulge over her left shoulder was enough to suggest the large amount of time and bandaging that was done there.

Everything about her conveyed her fragility, telling him that she was weak and needed protection against the world and the enemies he himself had created. Her body was so small, her bones so tiny and delicate, a breakable structure held up by the seemingly iron spine that was its center. Kenshin's lips curved upward in the ghost of a smile. Nothing could dispute the solid stubborn streak that lived within her, an iron will that no doubt was the reason she was still alive, but probably also was the cause for a lot of her pain. Kaoru was not the kind of person to just take whatever that man had to dish out. In his mind he could see her fighting against him, simply because the thought of surrendering would have never occurred to her. Whether this was a direct result of living with his master, or if she was just born that way, Kenshin didn't know, but he knew it was enough to get her in trouble against the few who were heartless enough not to care.

The train of his thoughts was lost when the doctor finally came over, a grave look on his face that did nothing to relieve the tight ball of worry in Kenshin's stomach.

"What's the damage?" Hiko spoke up first, dispelling the air of tenseness about the room and plunging them straight into the problem.

"Your daughter, Hiko-san," Kenshin looked up in surprise at the doctor's words, but when Hiko only nodded, he shook his head, realizing the man must have claimed her as such earlier. "she is in a lot of pain." Hiko snorted softly at the obvious observation. "She has suffered a major concussion and will be disoriented, shaky, and nauseous with the possibility that she could slip into a coma at any time, and will be one of the reasons I recommend she stay in the hospital a night or two under constant medical supervision."

"One of the reasons?" Kenshin whispered in dismay. Like that wasn't bad enough? He could lose his Kaoru in a whole different way to a lifetime of comatose surrender.

"Hai." Iwamoto voiced gently, hating this part of his job the most; when he had to tell good-hearted people bad news about someone they loved. "Next to that she has lost a lot of blood. Thankfully we were able to get the bleeding to stop, but her shoulder is a mess. There are only a few bones that make up the shoulder, and… somehow they were all affected. The clavicle is the only one fractured harmfully," Helpfully he pulled out a large x-ray sheet to show them the damage, placing it on a lighted screen on the wall. "it's what we call a greenstick fracture. The bone has broken almost all the way through, but is holding together only through this small sliver of connected bone right here." The doctor's finger pointed to a thread of white area on the screen. "The sharp point was then shoved through the skin, opening the fracture wider by pushing back the end of the bone and breaking the ligament between the clavicle and the acromion; this bone that wraps around the back, over the scapula." His finger swept around in a circle to demonstrate.

"This is just the most obvious problem." Kenshin felt his heart clench painfully, not really wanting to hear more. "Somehow the head of the humerous was fractured as well, and while it is a closed fracture, just a hairline crack really, something must have shifted the bones around because the joint just above it is almost crushed. Luckily the scapula gave way under the pressure before it did and tilted sideways to make room. However, with the grinding this created there are numerous shards of bone floating around in her muscles now, causing her pain at the slightest movement. Also," Kenshin felt his head sink lower, Hiko's tense form next to him only increasing his agitation. "With the scapula turned at such an awkward angle, it has torn the inner muscle covering it." Iwamoto paused, watching the two figures in front of him and the twin looks of dismay they held. _At least they are understanding the situation and not screaming at me… yet._

"What else is there." Hiko's voice was soft, not wishing to know, but sensing there was still more to come.

"She needs to go into surgery, that is the only way to fix her shoulder, and the sooner it is done the more likely chance she will have at a full recovery."

"Then what are we doing still standing here talking about it? Get it done."

"I wanted to recommend another doctor for the job."

"You don't have a good enough one here?" Hiko was quickly losing his patience as Kenshin stepped away, back to the girl's side.

"This one is the best in Japan, and with the extensive amount of damage done to her shoulder, you are going to need the best if you want it to heal properly, without any inconveniences that will affect her later in life." The doctor smiled sadly. "I thought that with one so young she should have every chance of living without the problems this could create for her."

Hiko stared at the man before nodding in acceptance, and understanding. This was a good doctor, one who knew when he was outclassed and when to recommend someone better than he. "Where is this doctor?"

The man immediately looked at the nurse next to him and she nodded, turning to hurry out of the room. "He lives in Aizu." Kenshin's head snapped up and shot a warning look at Hiko, who returned it with a glare of his own. One that clearly said _Deal with it._ Kenshin turned back to Kaoru, who was now twisting in pain, soft moans forcing their way from her mouth. "We've already called for a helicopter to carry her there, just in case you agreed. It will be the fastest way and will fly over any, uh, inconveniences in town that might delay her." Hiko nodded again, his mind already elsewhere, thinking about what should be done next.

"I will accompany her." Iwamoto looked over at the red-head kneeling by the bed, surprise clearly written on his face.

"There will only be room on the chopper for one other, and that is usually reserved for immediate family. Surely her father would be a better choice." Dark eyes looked up at the large man before him, who seemed content to tune them out.

"I **am **immediate family." Anger or not, he was not going to let this man tell him what he could or could not do when it came to **his **Kaoru.

"But…"

"He will go with her." Hiko stopped the argument before it started, aware of the simmering anger below the golden eyes of his pupil. An anger that seemed bound and determined to show when anything came between him and the little girl. "I will take a cab later. There are things that need picked up and I'm sure he wouldn't be able to think straight if I sent him back to get them."

Iwamoto reluctantly agreed before turning to leave as well, needing to prepare an emergency flight and call a certain doctor in Aizu. Thank goodness the storm had been short lived, or it would have killed any chance of life-lining her anywhere. The girl was still groaning softly on the bed, every cry making the small man twitch in sympathy and flutter his fingers anxiously across her face, obviously wishing to help but unable to think of a way.

"Can't you give her any medication to ease the pain?" There was a tense note in his voice, hurting with her, and it tore at the doctor's resolve not to.

"I'm sorry, but I can't. She will be going into surgery with another doctor and I don't know what could possibly affect her the wrong way. I could very well give her something that could harm her during the surgery." His dark eyes were apologetic, his words soft with understanding. Kenshin nodded his head in acceptance, aware that the man was thinking farther into the future than he was, which was a good thing when it came to this. Dismissing the figure in the doorway, Kenshin reached gently for the girl's right hand, taking the bandaged appendage and laying the back against the smoothness of his right cheek. Ever so slightly the fingers curled, almost reflexively, into the long hairs of his bangs, the red length combed through her child's grasp and binding him to her prone form.

"Kenshin?" Azure eyes opened to look blearily up at him, her fingers tightening in his hair. Kenshin smiled down at her, glad that she still recognized him after what the doctor had said about the seriousness of her concussion.

"Hai."

"Don't leave me…" Tiredly her eyes drifted close again, leaving only the shaking grip of her fist to tell him that she was aware of his presence at all. Nodding his head against the skin of her hand in acknowledgment, he stayed where he was, watching over her sleeping form until they sent someone to collect her for her helicopter ride. _Too bad she'll be asleep… she would probably enjoy it otherwise,_ he thought distractedly, a rueful twist of his lips pushing against his cheeks.

Hiko turned to find the doctor frozen, walking over and leading him out to make sure their presence went unnoticed. "I think she will be better off with him, ne?" Turning his head he watched the slight nod of the man beside him, the surprised look on his face. _Fair enough… many people wouldn't understand their relationship if they knew about it… not even the idiot in there fully understands it._ Hiko smirked to himself and was about to walk away when the doctor stopped him.

"Who is he? I mean…" he faltered under the stern look from the rather intimidating man before him, "that she would want him over her own father."

"Him?" Hiko glanced back at the red head, snorting at the combined look of worry and slight confusion. "He's an idiot." Hiko strode away unhurriedly, leaving the doctor thoroughly confused. _Who was the bigger idiot? The idiot fretting over a little girl in the hospital, or the one that left a man he outright named an idiot with his daughter? _Shaking his head, the doctor walked away, focusing back on the procedures that needed done to transfer her to the town of Aizu.

x

Kenshin sat in the waiting room, waiting (of all things) for this so called "best doctor in Japan" to finish with Kaoru's surgery. The clinic was small, comfortable, but there was nothing there that could have distracted him from his worry over Kaoru. Not at that moment. Especially with the way the man had seemed slightly dismayed with the condition of her shoulder and body. Over and over again the conversation had played in his mind, reminding him that there was a chance all of this could go horribly wrong.

"_Himura-san, the girl is in bad shape. You have probably heard all of this before so I'll spare you the details, but… with the amount of blood that she has lost and the intense jostle her brain has taken, surgery would normally be the last thing we should put her through."_

"_Then why the hell did we fly all the way over here if you can't even do anything about it?" Kenshin growled irritably, uncomfortable in this city and the enemies surrounding him as well as with the fear this man was only feeding. _

"_Iwamoto-sensei was right, she needs surgery immediately or the bones might not heal properly. The longer they are left in such a harried state, the harder it will be to adjust them back to their natural setting, but… it will be difficult on her. We will have to put her under to perform the surgery, but after that… all we can do is hope that she will be able to come back."_

_Kenshin nodded his head, sharply, decisively, believing that this was where her iron will would be useful. "She will come back."_

"_I hope so…" Takani walked away, troubled but determined to be hopeful. The girl was so young and reminded him so much of his youngest daughter. _

Kenshin had insisted that they let him see her one more time before they took her in for surgery. There had been a fear in her eyes that tore at him, a knowledge that everything wasn't as ok as he was making it out to be. Stubbornly, though, she had kept up her cheerful manner, reassuring him that she would be fine. He was there so everything would be fine… _but there's nothing that I can do! All I can do is sit here and wait, letting everyone else handle a situation that I myself created by simply being what I am. By letting myself become something that should never have been allowed. _Dropping his head in his hands he fisted strong fingers through his hair, frustrated at how completely helpless he was. Next to him he felt Hiko shift, his own thoughts kept firmly to himself as no show of emotion had passed his face since he had arrived an hour earlier, a change of clothes for him and a bag for the girl. Nothing was said when the situation was explained to him, and nothing had been said about the less than stable condition his apprentice was in. It had already been a few hours since the surgery had started with no sign of it ever ending. They said that it would take possibly over four hours altogether, Takani and his doctor wife. Never had he thought that waiting could be so unbearable.

_She'll be ok… she has to be ok. After everything that has happened, she won't be allowed to just give up. She __**can't**__ just give up, she's too stubborn… she won't allow __**herself**__ to give up. Kami-sama… what would I do if she did? What would happen if she left me? I couldn't take it… I can't… she's mine… and I promised… I would stay. That means she has to stay too. _The fire and rage swept over him, darkness clutching tightly at thoughts tinged with anxiety over losing her to an enemy he couldn't fight. Somehow it felt less murderous and more erratic… confused and anxious… agreeing with his thoughts instead of adding to them. Fighting against itself to cling to a light that it could not live without; even as that same light made it smaller, slowly killing it with the brightness that grew by the day and shined through to the deepest crevices of his being. And at its sudden loss the darkness wailed in agony, even as it grew in strength, forcibly spreading through to the parts she had won over in time. Her light banishing a madness inside of him even as he found himself succumbing to it time and time again.

_If she hadn't been there… if I had stayed alone and buried in the shadows… _Unwilling to think of the consequences, he let the idea trail away, his hands clasping tighter into red strands, concentrating instead on the realization of her importance. _I can't live without her here… she has to stay. She agreed to stay… she said she was mine, and that means __**I**__ decide when she goes… __**I**__ decide what happens… not anyone else… not her, not God… __**ME**__. _Desperation curled around his thoughts, softening there seeming callousness with the fearful notions of the loss he could possibly have to endure. Stealing himself against something not within his power by insisting that it was only his to control.

Clenching harshly at his own hair, the strands pulled against his scalp, threatening to tear from his skin if he didn't loosen his grip. Still trapped in his turmoil of guilt and fear he was startled by the hand that dropped on his shoulder, briefly offering comfort before pulling away.

"She'll be fine. She hasn't survived this far just to give up when it's almost over."

Kenshin nodded his head, but didn't look up, accepting his words but still doubtful in his heart and mind. Fine tremors worked through his body unheeded, eyes were left open to stare blindly at the wooden floor below him and twin itchy streaks formed across his cheeks, vaguely calling to him for attention. All he could focus on, however, was the pain and terror in his heart and the mirror of blackness that echoed his feelings clearly, calling out to take action, to go to her and help in any way that was possible, even as the more rational area of his mind advised against it. There truly was nothing for him to do.

"Boy? Did you hear me?" Hiko sounded irritated, grumbling in his mind that the idiot never paid attention to what he had to say. Grabbing the arm closest to him he wrenched his hand out of the red hair, forcibly demanding his attention in a sudden flash of worry that the boy was losing his mind. When the red-head turned to look at him he let go in shock, feeling his eyebrows shoot up reflexively and his head snap back. Bright amethyst irises shown out at him from beneath the ragged fall of his hair. Moisture collected and spilled unnoticed down already streaked cheeks, his eyes wide in confusion and fear and a desperate anxiety. In that moment he looked like the fragile one, heart open and showing emotions clearly through the light color of his gaze, screaming his weakness for the world to see. Nothing was guarded and everything was brought forth, out from underneath the numbness that his heart once lived under.

"I can't…" Hiko felt his eyebrows draw together, uncertainty overriding his surprise. "I don't…" Kenshin seemed to struggle with his words, his mouth trembling and his eyes darting back and forth in frenzied contemplation, echoing his mentality by not directly latching onto one single ideal or object. "I won't." Amethyst eyes abruptly darkened to violet and muscles hardened in resolve, his pupils steadying to look his master squarely in the eyes. "I won't allow this anymore." _I will not allow her to be harmed by me any longer. I will not allow the darkness to affect her. _Hiko looked more doubtful than ever, but nodded his head as if he understood perfectly, watching the boy beside him carefully incase he decided to surprise him again.

In Kenshin's mind he reasoned that she was hurt because of him, not only from the indirect actions of his enemies trying to harm him through her, but also directly through himself. He had seen the fear in her eyes, the pain and horror at what he had done ripping through her mind. Then when he had blindly turned to attack a man she thought of as father, it had scared her to the point of interfering, begging him to stop, letting him know where she stood. Which was against him. Did she despise him now that she knew what he was really like? How he became when he was consumed by the darkness? How he was without her to steady him? To make him whole… _She did not protest the killing of the man who held her, but…I could see it in her eyes when she looked. Could tell that she was appalled, a flicker of worry… for herself? Surely she knows I would never hurt her… so… For me? Worried for me…why? Does she know? Does she even suspect? Is there something inside her that can read me easier than I can read myself? Will I ever understand this?_

"Kaasan said I should bring you tea." Kenshin looked up, shaken from his blank expression and closed mind by the sound of a young girl's voice. Instantly his heart clenched, his thoughts immediately returning to Kaoru and her current state of pain. Cautiously the girl walked into the room, a small, shy smile forming on her lips as she laid down the tea tray in front of the two men. "Would you like some?" Hesitantly she held up the tea pot to pour, her cinnamon eyes looking between the two for affirmative responses. Hiko nodded his head slightly, his features once again studiously blank, while Kenshin sighed before following his example. He needed something to help keep him awake anyway. The tea would do him good.

The girl poured the tea gracefully, a feat Kaoru would never be able to pull off, even when she was so fluid in her natural movements as a warrior. This thought made Kenshin smile, her tomboyish nature something he could hold to his heart, partly in hopes that she wouldn't turn into a snobbish woman that would want nothing to do with learning things like swimming or fighting… or worse, want nothing to do with him when she was older. The smile was still in place when the girl looked up, and though he was no longer paying attention to her, the dark headed girl blushed slightly. Unaware of her appreciation, he politely thanked her before taking a sip and once again delving back into his thoughts. This time visions of a Kaoru that lived life care-freely and was beginning to give Hiko grey hairs covering him with their comforting presence.

x

Kaoru hovered in the darkness of her unconscious mind, her dreams manifesting from new and old concerns as well as the swirling emotions she felt for the man she considered under her care. Visions of his eyes… amber eyes that held so much pain and rage… and sorrow. She had seen them, the emotions he stored away from others, had seen them tear at the mess of his heart while he sat alone, eyes glazed in deep contemplation and inner turmoil. Those times hurt her, and seeing them now, all over again, flashing behind her own lids, caused that pain to resurface harshly. She had tried to help him, tried to never be sad, to keep her own feelings of weakness to herself. It was hard, and sometimes it didn't work, but those times were so far in between that he never seemed too bothered by them. And for that she was grateful.

Abruptly her view shifted, taking her away from the new sorrow in her heart to an older one. An image of a man that was slowly fading in her mind, his face shady and fuzzy around the edges even as his eyes and words stood out clearly. _Father…_ Dark, sad irises focused onto her before looking out over the field they sat in, her hands and the knees of her pink dress covered in dirt and a happy grin on her face from the playful attention she had been receiving. They never played together… not often anyway. Not when Kaasan was home. So now, with his undivided attention settled on her, Kaoru felt like the princess he always called her.

"Kaoru-hime, are you happy here?"

"Hai." Unaware of any reason not to be, nor recognizing the warning in his voice, Kaoru happily dug her fingers farther into the dirt, drawing designs and giggling at the tickling sensations from the tall grass.

"Would you be sad if I left?"

Kaoru looked up to her father, confusion clouding her brilliant eyes. Eyes that looked nothing like either of her parents, eyes that were said to have come from her grandmother. "Nani? You would be back, ne?"

"No, not this time."

Tears sprang unbidden and unnoticed to hang heavily from her lashes, staining her cheeks with their wetness and tightening the skin as the warm breeze dried them. "But… I don't want you to."

"I don't want to either, hime, demo… there are things that are happening that could very well mean I will have to leave… permanently." Dark eyes finally found their way to her face, a strong hand wrapping around to grip her shoulder as she cried. "I want you to be strong, though, Kaoru. You have always been able to take care of yourself, before you even learned to walk properly, and now… I want you to take care of your mother as well. For me. Just in case I can't."

"No!" Kaoru pushed away from him, shoving against his chest hard enough to overbalance herself. "You have to stay! She's yours! You take care of her! She can't live without you!" Kaoru had heard her mother say as much, several times explaining the love she felt for her father, how he completed her in a way that none other could.

"_Without him, Kaoru-chan, I would be nothing… I would be lost." Black eyes looked down, a happy glow settling against her pure skin. "You will understand someday, little one. When you find that someone who will make you feel whole, and loved. Who will give you their undivided attention and care nothing for the rest of the world… only you. And you will feel driven to do the same, to care for them and give all that you are to be with them." A small smile ghosted across her lips, turning her face upwards in a way that was hardly ever seen without the presence of her husband near. Kaasan never smiled unless Tousan was there._

Kaoru's dream shifted her again, throwing her back at her father and the words he drove into her brain that day.

"Don't be angry with me, hime, I just want to know in my heart that you will both be taken care of if there is a chance that I might not be here to do it personally. I want to know that you will protect your mother, take care of her in my absence. Don't let her smile disappear."

Reluctantly she nodded, unable to do anything else, even as she didn't fully understand what he wanted from her. But she would take care of her kaasan, because he wanted it.

"Arigato, Kaoru-hime. You have made this old man happy." Unexpectedly he grinned, reaching over to tickle her, reducing her to a pile of breathless giggles and tears of laughter.

"You're not old, Tousan."

The sunny field faded, leaving her in darkness, shots of golden light filtering through to tease the edges of her vision, but disappearing as soon as she turned. Fear grew in her when the blackness continued and the light avoided her. Thoughts of his amber eyes returning, mocking her with their color and her wish to latch onto it.

"Kenshin! Don't leave me!"

Frantically she ran, chasing after the flickering light, her mind locking onto the knowledge that he shouldn't be let out of her sight. That he shouldn't be left alone to become like before because… because… Running blindly, she didn't notice the darkness thinning until the spikes of brightness changed color, turning to a blinding shot of blue-white, its accompanying crack of thunder attacking her eardrums. Ducking into the futon she found herself laying on, she buried her head under the blankets, whimpering at the sound and wishing for the comforting embrace of her kaasan, the words of her father no longer reassuring as he explained instead the significance of a fright she couldn't control.

"_Kaoru-hime, do you know why you are afraid of thunder?" _

"_Iie." Clutching desperately at his shirt, Kaoru buried her face into the soft material, sobbing quietly at the next roll of sound._

"_Because you can feel it, can't you? The power behind it, the overwhelming feeling of strength and otherworldly energy so out of our control and understanding. It's life and death, a shot of intensity stronger than the sun rolled into one spike of authority. Lashing out through the sky, leaving only destruction in its wake and the echo of its path in the resulting backlash of wind, light, and noise. You, my little hime, are afraid because something inside is warning you, telling you that you stand no chance against its strength. And because you are a strong one, my Kaoru, you fear something that is not within your power to overcome. But you need not fear, all strength has a weakness that is just waiting to be found."_

_Kaoru looked up at him wide eyed, her mind still focused on his words of description, telling her where the noise really came from. Telling her that she stood no chance against it._

"_Anata, you are scaring the poor girl more. Go back to bed and I will stay with her." Fond amusement laced her mother's chiding words, swatting at her husband when he walked out the door and dropping a kiss on his lips when he offered. _

Thunder boomed again, another foreign noise echoing through the house underneath it, tickling her ears and confusing her mind. Curious as to what it was, Kaoru peeked out over the blanket, listening harder as she tried to suppress the trembling inside her muscles that awakened during a storm. When nothing else but the continuous raging of the wind and rain beating against the walls could be heard, Kaoru relaxed slightly, her hands still cinched tightly in the covers, but her mind already dismissing one demon for another. Thunder ruled out her terror of the unknown and she cried out softly again when it shook the house, threatening to hurt her with its power, mocking her that she could do nothing about it.

The growing fear within her shook her figure, tearing at her heart and mind until she cried, curling into a little ball under the covers and wondering where her mother was. She always consoled her during storms, sleeping with her sometimes, or letting her sleep with them until the storm passed. Their soothing presence always chasing away the irrational fear that seemed to have no affect on them. Tiring of the sensation, Kaoru jumped up, tripping over the blankets in her haste and tangling her legs in the long nightgown her mother made her wear. Tensing her mouth over the suppressed tears and frustration, the five year old Kaoru worked her way free and stood up, sliding open her door, the deafening sounds from outside masking the noise, and made her way to her parent's bedroom.

No one was there, though the bed was tousled with their blankets suggesting they had already been to bed once that night. The small detail slipped her mind, however, when the thunder she hated growled again. Jumping out of the room, thoughts only for her mother and her need to find her, Kaoru made her way to the receiving room, a small noise she couldn't name pulling her in that direction. Cautiously opening the door, the comforting clatter it made only easing her fears slightly, she came into the room, a whimper she couldn't control rubbing against her throat.

"Okaasan. Otousan."

Pleading quietly into the darkness, Kaoru came upon the relaxed form of her mother, her body curled to the side and her black eyes open and staring blindly at the far wall. Shaking her shoulder carefully, never wishing to hurt her delicate mother, Kaoru called to her, asking her to wake up. She needed her. There was no response and numbly the little girl recalled words that were spoken to her only hours before. _Death is a place we all go to and can't come back from, little one._ Standing slowly away from the still form, she walked over to another dark press of shadows, her father's body lying sprawled much more half-hazardously, a thick liquid pooling out around him.

Kneeling before him respectfully, neither noticing nor caring about the blood that stained her white nightgown, Kaoru searched for a place to touch him that wasn't broken or covered in thick redness. Settling on his face, she patted him gently on the cheek, expecting no reaction even as she called for him to wake up.

"_Kaoru-hime, in this war death may claim me for its own, but I want you to know that I will not feel bitter. Because I will have died fighting for something I believe in, I will have died fighting for you and your mother. For your safety and happiness I will fight, and if I am rewarded an honorable death, then I will be content in the after-life. Remember this well, and don't cry, little hime, I will not regret my life, nor my death. So please, do not cry." _

Numbly looking down at the dead body of her father, the feeling of loss from the death of her mother joining together with his, she shed no tears. She would not cry because he wished it so, she would not be sad because he was happy. But that didn't mean she couldn't be angry that they had been stolen from her. Someone took something precious away, and most of all, they killed her vow to protect her mother. They took away the only promise she had ever made, took away the only goal she had in life. Bright sapphire eyes slid slowly up to the bloodied katana in her father's lax grip, a childish, irrational anger flooding her mind that she should take it. Learn how to use it. To make them pay.

"_Kaoru…" his voice chided softly, "don't be angry. They are only fighting for what they believe in also. Promise me that you won't be angry if I die."_

"_No. They want to take you from me and Kaasan. Why shouldn't I be angry?"_

"_Because you should not let the past color the present. I want you to live in the new era in peace and happiness. I don't want you to be clouded with anger and revenge when it will do nothing but make you miserable and me as well. I won't be able to rest peacefully if you are not happy. Life is too short to harbor bad feelings, little hime, let them be buried in the past and focus instead on the present and the future."_

_Ebony brows furrowed together in contemplation, childish selfishness overridden by a wisdom beyond her years. "I should forgive them?"_

"_Hai, little hime, that would be wonderful." A large hand shifted to rub her hair affectionately. "They would probably appreciate that as well. Some are not as fortunate as I, having two loving women to come home to." Kaoru giggled and swatted at his hand._

"_Live only for now, little hime, for it is the only one you will get." _

Wrenching her eyes away from the weapon in shame, Kaoru turned instead to something that tickled the back of her neck, urging her to seek it out. Feeling slightly numb and fighting conflicting notions of anger, regret, and sorrow, her mind questioning whether or not she could live like her father wanted, she caught sight of another shadow in the room. Staring steadily at it, her eyes adjusting to the darker gloom it created, she found herself looking into deep irises of pure golden sunlight. Suddenly they widened, surprise at her gaze showing through their fathomless depths followed quickly by fear. _Fear? What does he have to fear from me? _

Standing up, feeling as if she were drawn to his presence, Kaoru walked over to him, meaningfully placing one foot in front of the other. Even when the bright flash of light reflected off the metal he drew from his hip, and the ring it gave off warned her to run, she walked forward, defiantly showing that she was not afraid. _I am not afraid to face my fate. And if I die fighting for what I believe in, then I will be happy like father. So what do I believe in? _Unconsciously her eyes narrowed in thought, contemplating something many never comprehended during decades of life. _I believe in… right now. Father wanted me to live for now, and he wanted me to forgive. _Sorrow filled eyes turned upwards to look into the coldness of the hitokiri. _I will forgive this man before he kills me, and fulfill my father's wish. I will make sure he rests in peace._

Stopping in front of him, she unwaveringly held his gaze, searching his eyes for any indication of his reaction to her boldness. That was when she noticed the hesitation in his stance, the way he held his body so tense that she feared he would break. Amber eyes blazed indecisively and he looked on at her with something akin to awe on his face. Looking deeper she saw a thick sorrow too, a sadness that she recognized from the flash of emotion he showed while drawing his sword. _He does not like killing. _The thought came unbidden, and she wrinkled her brow in confusion. _Does that mean he did not wish to kill Tousan and Kaasan too? Does he not like what he does? _No sooner was the thought formed and her mind made up to truly forgive him, to help sooth that sorrow she saw in his eyes, a crack of thunder split the air and she instinctively jumped forward to attach herself to the only solid, living human in the room.

Beneath her grip he was tense, muscles twitching slightly with the contact between them. Uncaring, she buried her face into the hip of his pants and waited out the echoing noise that scared her so. Finally looking up, fear still clutching her mind, she found his unfocused gaze staring blindly forward, a frown marring his handsome features as she studied him. He was powerful, just the way he held himself told her this, and in the back of her mind she felt that warning her father mentioned to her. A vague shiver of fear that always accompanied the coming of a storm. This time it was for a different strength, one incased inside a single being and not chasing throughout the entirety of the sky. It should have frightened her more because of this one fact, but somehow she couldn't bring herself to fear him. Not like she did the thunder. Distantly a rumble caught hold of her ears and unwillingly she whimpered again, drawing his attention to her and focusing hard amber eyes to lock harshly onto her own.

In such close proximity she could see emotions in his eyes that were not meant for others. Sorrow, pain, regret, but with her… she saw a small flicker of hope followed closely by acceptance that she was something he could never have. Something that was not meant for him. A need to prove him wrong swelled within her, to show him that happiness was made for everyone to share in, that he could feel it too. Whether it was a young maternal instinct newly awakening inside of her that drove her to it; a need to hold a broken animal to one's breast and pamper it until it could survive alone again; or maybe it was something else entirely. Either way, Kaoru felt drawn to him, to help and protect and nurture.

With a young heart full of love and naïve hope, she pulled away and lifted her arms, asking him to take her with him so she could be within reach if needed. For a few seconds she believed he would refuse, a blank look closing his features from her, but with a sudden switch to amusement, the red-headed man bent and picked her up, apparently willing to take what she was offering. A way to pull out of the madness.

Watching his eyes as he sheathed his weapon again, she searched for any sign that he would leave her there. The amused look crossed his face again before he lifted his cloak, intent on covering her before stepping out into the powerful rainfall. Ducking without a thought, she hid herself under the protective shelter, curling her fingers around his neck and playing with the ends of his hair, fascinated by the silky, red strands.

_I will not look back. If I look back I will be lost. I am starting a different life now, one without my Kaasan and Tousan. One that they will be proud of… _Unconsciously her arms tightened around the teenagers neck, fingers fisting in his hair. Another fear gripped her now, taking over her mind with the full realization of her situation. She was alone. There was no one else to claim her but this man that she didn't even know. This man that had just murdered her family. A man that looked more alone than she was. _If he is alone maybe… maybe if he is like me…_

"Am I yours now?" Hope welled through her words, uncertainty constricting her chest. She didn't want to be alone. Above her face she felt him nod sharply, only hesitating briefly before deciding what would be.

"Hai." It was the first word she had heard from him, his voice short and clipped, seemingly emotionless with its toneless quality.

"'Kay." Happy that he was going to keep her, glad that she was not alone, Kaoru burrowed deeper against his neck, relaxing in his hold while the storm raged even harder around them. Dimly she realized that the thunder no longer frightened her quite so much, a passing thought that the man she was claimed by was stronger than even the unknown power of the sky.

x

Kaoru awoke to darkness, the press of nothingness teasing her with the sleepy knowledge that she might still be dreaming. Only the quiet beeps from something next to her, the soft breathing of another and the gentle dip in the mattress on her right side confirmed her wakened state. Eyes adjusting quickly to the gloom, she directed them towards the faint sound, focusing on the mass of red hair scattered across the side of her blankets. _Kenshin. _Smiling happily, reassured that he was near and within reach, she sluggishly moved her hand to curl into the sleek strands. He didn't move at the tremulous touch, his breathing still very much even and deep, giving her the opportunity to take in her surroundings.

A small, uncomfortable looking chair was pulled up next to the elevated bed she was laying on, providing a place for her red-head to sit. Awkwardly his body angled off the wooden seat to lean against the slightly hard mattress of her bed, his head pillowed on his arms and his face turned away from her. Worried that he might not be in the most cozy of positions that way, she debated on waking him and making him find a bed of his own. Selfishly her mind rejected this act by arguing that she didn't want him to leave her there alone, in a place that she knew nothing about. Ashamed at her self-centered direction of thinking, she justified the non-action by reasoning that if he had fallen asleep like that anyway then that must mean he was tired enough to be that uneasy and still sleep. Therefore he needed the rest. Happy with her excuse, she let her eyes wander over the rest of the room, her fingers unconsciously rubbing over the smooth texture between them.

The room was plain, no other furniture but that of the bed and chair could be found. Next to her, however, a monitor beeped continuously, another quiet noise that blended in to the stillness of the room, barely disturbing the tranquility. Moving her head to look at it proved difficult and she realized that the lethargic feel of her whole body must have something to do with any drugs they had her on. The small tube leading to a needle buried in the soft inner workings of her left elbow confirmed this notion, a bag hanging above her filled with some unknown liquid dripping to her. Sighing restlessly, exhaustion weighing in on her but her mind fighting the indolent state with the boredom of inactivity, she tried to shift, finding it much more difficult with the mass of another dipping the pallet she lay on. Instantly her body moved that way, gravity taking over where her muscles gave out, and she jostled the head of her Kenshin with her hip.

Jerkily he woke up, lifting his head swiftly off his arms and ripping her hand from his hair with the sudden motion, her arm falling heavily back down onto the blankets. Instantly there was a look of worried regret that shot through his soft amber eyes; irises that showed the consuming growth of his shadow that spread with her absence, his mind unable to cope with her pain and his struggle to keep it at bay. Helpfully he reached for her hand, bringing the boneless mass back to his face and burying it within the confines of his thick tresses. Shakily she curled her fingers once again.

"You're awake." The relief in his voice made her wonder. In the back of her mind she knew her condition was worse than what he had told her before she went into surgery, but how much worse? What was he not telling her?

"Hai." Swallowing thickly over the pasty dryness of her throat, she almost winced at the croaky sound of her own voice. _I'm really thirsty…_

Hazily she watched him sigh in relief, his whole body relaxing while his head dipped into her hand, his own holding it to him. "I thought you'd never wake up."

"How long have I been asleep?" Curiosity overcame her and she looked up at him expectantly, surprised to see a look of sadness in his eyes.

"Almost four days." Four days of hell. Days full of contemplation, worry, terror, sorrow and guilt; of a growth in the rage, this time at himself, his own situation seeming to only get worse now that he was fully aware of it. The constant battle was tiring and for the moment he had let his guard down, allowing it to consume him, but finding it not much different as he still thought only of his Kaoru. Now that she was here, though, now that he had her back…

"Gomen nasai, I didn't mean to worry you." The genuine sorrow in her voice had him chuckling, her anxiety over distressing him amusing… and touching. Once again he felt that blessed notion of extreme bliss that came with the knowledge that someone cared for him. Someone worried over him. It was a feeling he had almost forgotten about before her, and had almost lost because of himself…

"No, it wasn't your fault."

"Demo…"

"No, little one, there is no one to blame for this but me. You will give up any notion of reproach for yourself right now, because you had nothing to do with it. I did this to you. I'm responsible. You are under my care and I let you down." Hot tears of disgrace coursed down his cheeks and Kaoru watched in dismay as he struggled not to break down, the extent of his instability shocking to a girl who only saw him as solid and unwavering.

"Daijoubu, I'm fine now, see?"

"No. You're not fine. This is not ok." Angrily he gestured at her shoulder and then wildly at the rest of the room. "All of this should have been prevented, but it wasn't… it wasn't because of me… because of what I am." Shamefully he hung his head, his eyes shadowed from her by the length of his bangs, his hand pulling away from hers so she had to struggle to keep it held up. "Do you despise me now?" Softly he questioned her, fear lacing his voice, mixed with the anger he already felt and the sinking acceptance of one already condemned.

"I could never hate you, Kenshin… shikashi… I…" Slowly Kenshin raised his eyes to her, recognizing the finishing of a statement tried before the loss of consciousness. "I don't want you to have to kill anymore." Bright sapphire eyes looked to him pleadingly, a childish wish that he would never have to take a life again, that he would never be like she had seen again. _I want you to stay like this. I want you to be yourself and not someone I don't know… someone heartless and… and… consumed with madness. Onegai…_

Kenshin felt his heart clench painfully at her words, and he lowered his eyes from her, knowing inside of him before hand that this was what she despised. The killing. This was what scared her and what sickened a childish, innocent gaze. _Will she ever forgive me? Will I ever forgive myself?_ Holding her hand to him once again, he whispered his answer through the air.

"Hai, my little one, I don't want to either, demo… until this war is over, until I have fulfilled my duty, I will have to continue to kill as they ask." Kaoru looked away, tears streaking her cheeks and her bottom lip trembling with sadness. "Please don't hate me… I couldn't bare it."

"I don't. I just… I'm afraid of what it will do to you." Kenshin looked at her in surprise, unaware of how very unselfish this little girl truly was. _To me?_ Then she was swallowing back her tears, sniffling against the run of liquid and turning to him with a smile. A happy smile that brightened his heart. "Wakatta."

Warmth blossoming tenderly under that look, he sighed shakily before laying his head back down in the crook of his right arm, cradling her hand to his scarred cheek. "When this is over, my little one, I'll be whatever you want me to be… I'll do whatever you want, ok?"

Kaoru smiled and shook her head. "No, you should do what you want to do."

"Hai." A smile pressed against her hand, "and you already know what that is, little one. You have always known what I want to do… to be. Better than I know myself."

Kaoru smiled before closing her eyes, sleep claiming her quickly. There was no fear in her mind for the unknown place she was in, because Kenshin was watching over her while she slept.

x

**Glossary**

**hime -** princess

**nani -** what?

**Anata -** dear (what a wife calls her husband; an intimate way of saying "you")

**shikashi -** but, however

**wakatta -** I understand

A/N: Ok, I hope that you noticed the first reference I made to the parting of ways between Kenshin and the Battosai in the last chapter... it was really very subtle and I wanted it to be that way, because at that point he didn't know fully yet either. Anyway, full split in this chapter, but with the state of Kaoru and since he is just now noticing, it wasn't as easy as he thought it would be. Lots of inner turmoil, focusing a lot on himself, and a lot on Kaoru too, mainly with her it is just her true feelings about what he is. I hope my little explanation about her parents wasn't disappointing to anyone, I tried -shrug- There was a few things about them that I wanted to point out. 1. Her parents are like the proverbial "soul mates" because when they are together they tend to ignore their surroundings, now I'm not saying that they neglected Kaoru or anything, just paid more attention to each other. Kaoru didn't despise then for it, just envied them, wanting someone to pay attention to her like that. Creating a very deep sense of longing for a soul mate of her own. 2. While I explained that her father wasn't bitter about death, I didn't really touch too much on what her mother thought about it, but... I did say that she couldn't live without her husband so I was hoping that you would make your own assumption that she would have rather died than go on living after he died. 3. Kaoru is pretty strong for a five year old... in mind. Simply because her father didn't talk to her like a child, he treated her like an adult, maybe because he didn't know how else to treat her, or because she showed that she didn't need it. She could still react childishly, because she is... but her stubborn will doesn't allow for weakness for very long. Oh and 4. She doesn't think of Kenshin in the romantic love like, but does, after awhile, place him in the category that her mother described to her. So... he is hers to protect and nurture. Also, loves the undivided attention that she gets from him when he's around, prompting her to further believe that he is hers as well as her being his.

A/N-2: Ok... Kaoru learning swordsmanship is about to take an abrupt swing, so hopefully that will explain itself later, and why she won't be learning Hiten fully. Also, yes there will be probably all of the other characters showing in this story, which is going to make it absolutely monstrous... ahhhhh! Hopefully you noticed the small show Megumi made in this chapter... I'll reference her a little in the next. I do have to warn you though, I am a huge fan of the manga... meaning that while I watched a few of the anime, I only made it to like episode 62 and then I quit... not too excited about the rest... sorry. There are a few things that I like from the anime, but I will be referencing the manga a lot more... Ok, I think that's all I wanted to cover... any other questions please, please, please review... and I will reply.


	9. Interlude, Transition to War

Helloo! I am just so excited that I finally finished this chapter I don't know what to do with myself...heehee. I apologize for it taking so much longer to get it out... and I really don't have a good excuse either...gomen... except for the fact that I work nine hour days, get maybe six hours of sleep, and my internet was shut off for a couple of days and cost $300 to get it turned back on...ahhhh! Anyway, here we are, and I'm sorry that there isn't too much in this chapter to appease you with the long wait... just so you know, though, I do have six pages of the next already done...yay! Alright on with the story!

Disclaimer: He is not mine...

x

Chapter 9: Interlude; Transition to War

I'izuka hurried along the path that led around a mountain many miles away from Kyoto, a firm smirk playing over his features. So what if that oaf of a man had screwed up the perfect opportunity to kill the Battosai, there were other ways. Chuckling with the knowledge he held within him, he unconsciously looked over his shoulder, a movement that spoke of his fear that the red-headed hitokiri would come after him.

_I'll have to talk to that boy again, see how badly he really wants revenge for his sister. He's still young… but he can be used, just like that dumb ninja. _

Nervously he ran a hand over the bulge of money in his pocket, the payment he had received from Tatsumi. It had taken some convincing that he should be paid then and there, especially when the idiot had the girl trapped in the room right next to theirs. Knowing that the Battosai would soon be on his way, however, I'izuka had wanted to be as far away as he possibly could. So when the girl woke to try and break out, he had taken the money and ran. Not the most courageous or honorable thing to do… but then again, he was a traitor and a spy.

Quickening his pace in a reflexive bid to get farther away faster, the traitor didn't even see the man standing in front of him on the path until it was too late. Freezing in his tacks, he stared at the imposing figure and the drawn katana resting comfortably against his shoulder. Then laughed.

"That's the Kogoro I used to know… I guess he won't make this easy will he?"

The man smirked, watching predatorily as I'izuka placed a hand on the hilt of the sword he carried.

"I guess I'll have to rely on this one more time…"

Charging forward, swinging wildly, the traitor didn't even see the strike that disemboweled him, his consciousness falling swiftly under the wave of darkness that accompanied it.

"Heh… they underestimate me, giving me such easy assignments. Soon they will understand, though. Soon they will know who will be the real victor in this war."

Shishio Makoto carelessly shouldered his weapon once again, the blood from his kill still dripping freely from the blade, and turned to walk away, uncaring of whomever found the body on the deserted road.

x

Katsura Kogoro walked steadily up the path, wondering slightly at the fact that this man still did not have a drive-way to his house. But then again, Hiko Seijuro never was one for company, or the new age of technology for that matter. He probably would never own a car in his entire life anyway. Shaking his head in amusement, Katsura finally crested the small hill, bringing the house into view.

It wasn't a large place by any means, but Katsura could see how one would become attached to it. It was cozy, homey, and secluded; perfect for Japan's two strongest sword fighters. Not to mention the fact that they had the whole surrounding forest to train in as they pleased. Truthfully the only thing he couldn't figure out was how a small girl was taking living all the way up here without any playmates to speak of. Except for the two men, but he seriously could not see the sword master playing with her. The Battosai… the image wasn't there either.

No amount of knocking on the front door roused anyone, so Katsura took a stroll around the side of the house, attracted to the curl of smoke that was coming from another building farther back than the chimney would have been. There, sitting nonchalantly on a smoothed wooden log was none other then the large master of the house, staring intently into the flames that licked around the edges of his pottery kiln. His apparent disinterest in the other man could have been seen as his ignorance of his presence, but Katsura wasn't stupid, he knew that Hiko was aware. He also knew that the master did not particularly care for him.

"Hiko-san," Katsura made sure to bow respectfully, a little saddened that this man hated him, but understanding that it was only what he deserved for not truly comprehending the original purpose of Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu… for abusing the use of his pupil. "I…"

"The boy's off in the woods with the girl. Said something about it being the last warm day before winter fully sit in and wanted to enjoy it." Hiko turned to glare at the Choshu leader. "Maybe you should let them since you're only going to upset the girl by being here." There was something in his look that suggested that he didn't want to disturb the child's happiness. Katsura nodded slowly, never wishing to offend this man, but knowing that there was no where else for him to go until he spoke with Himura. There were things that needed to be said.

"She must be quite the child to have claimed the protection of the both of you."

"She is quite the child. One that has suffered needlessly for the sake of this war." Hiko turned back to the flames, talking to the warm air. "One that has lost her family to it and is now going to be told that she has to let the one she cares for go back to that same war."

Katsura nodded slightly in acceptance, there really wasn't much one could say to that statement, especially when it was the truth. They needed the Battosai if they were going to win this war, and for the greater good he knew that Himura would agree to go back. However… at what cost would he be paying? Already the boy had thrown himself into the dark madness of an assassin, tossing his sanity to the wind, and for what? So the one he had come to care for could be hurt? There didn't seem like much reward in this decision he was going to force him to make, but…

"Just make sure that you send him back once in awhile."

Katsura looked up in surprise, finding himself staring into the intense gaze of the master.

"The girl will be sad, and…" Once again he looked away, his voice turning gruff. "it might help the boy as well."

A small smile crept over the clan leader's face, the knowledge he had been given relieving him slightly. The girl was his center, his source, and she would help to keep him from falling under the darkness completely. He really had to meet this child just once before he left… to see what kind of personality it took to capture the full attention of the infamous Hitokiri Battosai.

x

Kenshin sat in a small clearing that overlooked the countryside below. It was quite a distance from the house, but he had wanted to get away from the view of Kyoto and observe something calmer… more peaceful, something that would help settle his soul and not remind him of the things that were happening just under his nose. The boulder he sat on was only slightly chilly underneath him, but then he had used the blanket that he had planned to sit on to wrap the girl in. Behind him another boulder rested heavily against the first creating a comfortable back to lean into. It helped to have it there, especially with the weight of the girl sprawled next to him, her upper body slanting over to cover the right half of his torso. Deep, regular breathing told him that she had fallen asleep, her back pushing into his chest with each intake, showing she was now quietly resting off her fatigue. He couldn't really blame her for wanting to take a break, even if he had ended up carrying her half-way there. Her small body was still recovering from her wounds, the fight having happened only a couple of weeks before, and the medication they had her on usually kept her drowsy and disoriented.

At the hospital, the doctor had been happy with the recovery she had made, especially with the four days it had taken to wake her up. The surgery had went well, the bones shifting back into place without any trouble and the ligament reattached. The only thing that he had said would probably bother her would be the scar. Sadly he said they were usually painful for many years afterwards and took longer to fade than most. The shoulder itself would heal wonderfully, and possibly faster because she was so young, as long as she didn't strain it overly much while she was waiting. For this reason alone Kenshin had jumped on the recommendation to put her shoulder in a splint. Normally all they would require was a sling, just to keep the person from using that arm and thereby overworking their muscles and putting strain on the shoulder. Kenshin, knowing what kind of a stubborn and energetic child the girl was, practically demanded that she wear both. He was not taking any chances that would aggravate the wound farther.

So there she lay, her shoulders pulled back stiffly like she was a soldier at salute, her arm pulled close to her body in a sling wrapped around her neck. It didn't look at all comfortable for her, but she never complained overly much. Most of the time he would find her itching at it with her free hand and then growling irritably about the limited mobility before dropping the subject completely with just one stolen glance his way. For some reason he got the feeling that she did not want him to know of her discomfort.

Unconsciously his right arm curled tighter around her, possessively and protectively holding her body to him, even with no one within miles of their location. It made him feel better, he realized, knowing that she could not move without him being aware, putting at ease a fierce worry over her that had settled in the back of his mind. She was there, she was safe, and no one could get near her with him being so close. For the moment the girl did not seem to mind his rapt attentiveness, actually showing a little relief that he was sticking so close to her. At times he would find her jumping at the smallest sounds, her eyes widening, her breathing speeding up, and her hands shaking ever so slightly. This was slowly starting to fade with time, but for now he was indulging her, in return for her indulgence over his need to cling as well.

In the beginning she had barely let him out of her sight, desperation apparent in her actions as she fisted her small hands into either his hair, shirt, or pant legs. Mostly this happened when he decided he wanted to leave the room. When this happened she generally would not relent until Hiko appeared, his presence the only other one she felt comfortable and safe around. A stronger bond seemed to have formed between them since the attack, his master revealing his own worry over the girl by sticking close by and actually sleeping in the room across the hall. Nobody but Kenshin himself stayed with her all night in the room itself, though, but then again there wasn't anybody who would argue with him against it either. Not when all it took was one cryptic remark and they all slowly backed away.

The only other person who could get any other reaction out of Kaoru besides wariness and fear was the young girl that had served them tea that first night. For some unknown reason she had developed a crush on the hitokiri, and seemed to like to rub it in the girl's face as much as she could. The twelve year old girl served them their food as often as she was allowed to, bringing in the serving tray and smiling shyly at Kenshin before sticking her tongue out at the girl on the bed when she thought he wasn't looking. Not one part of him could imagine why this girl liked him, as he was nothing more than polite to her, but she was not afraid to show it. Going out of her way sometimes just to bring him tea and snacks and asking him if there was anything he needed that she could get for him. Sometimes Kenshin would just ignore her, and others he would try to be polite, his need to practice his skill at pushing back that indifference stemming from the darkness urging him to use every opportunity he could. Nothing seemed to deter her, however, even when he would impatiently tell her that he would just like to spend some time alone with the broken girl on the bed. The real surprise to him, however, came from the reactions of his Kaoru.

Angrily her cheeks would turn red and she would glare daggers at the older girl, setting her mouth firmly and refusing to speak to her…at first. Later it had escalated into a full blown war of wills as she finally decided that she was sick and tired of the girl fawning all over **her **Kenshin. A few things were thrown, mostly by Kaoru, and many heated words were exchanged, which was almost hilarious to the older teenager as the childish name calling could not muster anything worse than them calling each other a conniving fox and an ugly raccoon. He had to give them points for imagination, as some of the combinations of words were pretty eye opening, but… in the end he had been forced to break it up, escorting the older one outside to the waiting mother that had come running at all of the racket they were creating.

Kaoru had looked rather sheepish when he had gently berated her for such actions, but he couldn't help the amused smirk that pulled at his lips while doing it. Luckily she wasn't looking at him the whole time. When asked what prompted her to get so worked up in the first place, she had just set her jaw and looked away out the window, claiming that the girl was just annoying and she didn't like the way she acted. Somehow he thought there was something more to it, but hadn't pressed the matter. There really wasn't anything else that he could think of that would cause the girl to get so angry that she would start throwing things. Maybe she did just find her annoying, Kami knew that he had thought the same thing every now and again when she would practically attach herself to him whenever he left the room.

Gazing out over the visible landscape, enjoying the warmth of the clear sun on his face and knowing that it warmed the girl wrapped in the blanket, he let his mind focus on other things that needed addressed. Doubts and scenarios that were constantly being brought to his attention from his newly awakened conscious, a mind-set apart from the darker half. Concerns for the safety of his Kaoru as well as what her true thoughts of him had to be. Looking back on their relationship with a clear mind found him wondering over her quick acceptance of him. Even after killing her parents, nearly in front of her, she had almost gladly gone with him, leaving behind the only life she had ever known.

Why would she have done that? Why insist on going with a murderer, the killer of her family? Why almost cry over the fact that he was going to leave her alive and well with Hiko when she hadn't even cried over the death of her parents? Why care for him? Why fear over his sanity more than the life of her family? Did she even remember what had happened? She had been so young and there wasn't much he himself could remember at that age. Did she even know that it was him who had killed them? All he had to do was wake her and ask, but… did he want to chance the possibility that she didn't know? Could he live through the look of horror, fear and disgust if she didn't?

Looking down at her dark head, he speculated that circumstance, the expression of sorrow or shock that would take over her face, turning laughing sapphire eyes to fearful indigo. Almost with a painful clarity he could see her pull away, her pupils darting around him, looking for a way to run. The thought clenched his heart, ripping it to shreds even with only the imagined scene playing over in his mind. What would it be like if it were to truly happen? Sucking in one gulping breath, banishing the thought, he realized that he wouldn't be able to survive it. _Never. Never will I let those feelings become a part of her. Never will I allow her to look at me like that._

Without even registering the selfishness of the thought, Kenshin pushed it from his mind. Too afraid to confront that aspect of his madness. That string of events that brought to him the only joy he had ever known while being a hitokiri… since being alive. With the death of his own parents, what little happiness he had known had died with them, that feeling shriveling and disappearing under the press of time. Everything since that age of childhood had been dotted with sorrow and misery, all life that surrounded him vanishing with the coming of this war. Only Hiko had survived, and while he gladly cared and was cared for by his master… something was closed off between the two. That kinship had died the moment he had declared he was leaving, so in a way, that life had concluded too.

Even the joy of the sword was now stained by blood, his assassinations clouding his mind until there was no way around the connection of killing and his technique. _How can I draw my sword now without thinking only of killing; when my blade is covered in nothing but blood? How can I cleanse my image of Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu when all it has ever been in my hands is death? Only once have I tried to use it to protect, and… _his amethyst eyes once again fell to the child in his arms…_ I am so contaminated by killing that I was not even able to do that successfully. I have shamed my style by using it this way and now it is serving its punishment._

Lowering his head in shame, he let it rest on the silky, midnight hair that pressed into his chest, the soft, unbound strands tickling him in the faint breeze. The dull ache in his chest numbed him, battling away any feeling of contentment or peace he would have found in the nearness of her presence. Shame and a sense of unworthiness were all that he could register, a knowledge that he was not good enough to accept that joy from her. Not as he was, but maybe someday… when he found a way to accept himself, then he would allow himself the pleasure of basking fully in her peaceful aura. He had no intention of pushing her away, never would he do that, but he would not let himself become lost in her acceptance and lose sight of his own path to atonement. How easy it would be to let her pull him in and forget that he had so much to be sorry for, so much to feel ashamed for. He would not allow himself that weakness, no matter how tempting it was.

Kaoru opened sleepy blue eyes to the gentle light of the early afternoon sun, its rays diffused by the strong angle of turning winter. A light pressure on the crown of her head informed her of Kenshin's presence, the curve of her skull cradled in the angle of his sharp nose and cheek. Something was bothering him, she could tell, just by the way his arm curled around her and that he was allowing himself to cuddle her the way he was. Only when he was troubled or in need of some type of comfort would he give in enough to let her help him. Not that he didn't always allow her near, but only when he was like this would he welcome the solace she wished to give all the time.

Twisting her head when the weight of his disappeared, she strained her neck to look up into his face, to catch a glimpse of his eyes so she could determine what kind of mood he was in. Since awakening that night after her surgery to the soft amber of his irises, she had discovered a new Kenshin, one different from the one she was used to. There seemed to be a shift somewhere inside of him, a pulling away from the coldness that she had always watched consume him. Now she found that, at times, there could almost be three, one holding the coldness of the hitokiri, one fierce and possessive, and still another sad and contemplative. All of these emotions she could find in herself, except the cold-blooded killer that she knew he was shying away from, but somehow when she found him in the grips of these feelings she couldn't help but distinguish him by the color of his eyes.

The gentle gold that she had gazed into at the hospital was full of fondness and power, a fierceness softened to a tender ripple while still holding the same strength. There was possession and protection in those eyes, all feelings heightened ten fold but suppressed under his care for her. This was the way that she knew her Kenshin, the way that she felt the most comfortable around because that was the only way she had ever seen him. Only just recently had she seen his darker half control him.

The distant amethyst he was showing now came as a surprise that first time, and she had let her fingers trail over the soft skin next to them in question. She found she liked them, knowing that this was the way her Kenshin was truly meant to be seen. There was a quiet intensity in them, a more mature restraint over his capability instead of the barely concealed barrier of the other. There was more sadness to them, though, a contemplation that took him to parts of himself that she wasn't even aware of. The distance he would put between them at times was almost tangible and it hurt, but she thought she could understand. So she did the only thing she could; she watched and she waited, holding herself to him as close as she could even if he was farther away than she could reach.

Thinking about it now she could truly say that she both loved and hated his eyes. Loving the amber had become easy, his focused attention something she had always craved for. The knowledge that it meant he was much closer to that killer when like that, however, made her loath them as well. It both hurt and overjoyed her to see them, her own emotions twisted around each other so much that she would find herself frustrated to the point of tears. Selfishly she wanted his unyielding consideration, wanted him to care for nothing but her, and yet… she knew that it wouldn't be worth it if he forgot to fight the darkness and lost himself to the death and destruction if he did as she desired. So in turn, she loved the violet of his eyes for the mere fact that it was another stage of his recovery, but still felt slightly bitter when he would turn away from her. Slowly, though… slowly she was beginning to learn how to cope with it and enjoy the more subtle ways he would show his affection.

"Kenshin?"

"Hai, little one?" Gradually his eyes focused and found her own, the intensity of the amber she was used to now replaced by calm, yet loving, consideration.

Shifting so that her head rested in the crook of his shoulder, Kaoru considered him with her expressive eyes, studying his face for any sign as to what he was thinking about, but there was nothing. No leftover mar to crease his face and show his true emotions. Some things just never changed. Smiling happily up at him, doing one of the only things she could to help, she pushed aside her own discomfort and pain to ease his.

"Have I been asleep long?"

His own smile was soft and tender, the look not quite reaching his eyes.

"Only a couple of hours."

"Ok."

Once again his eyes drifted away from her, glazing over as he dove back into himself, missing the hurt look that briefly trembled her lips and clenched at her heart. Jerking her head away, she set her jaw and forced herself to calmly take in her breaths, knowing he would be worried if he knew she was upset. Sadly gazing off over the landscape she almost lost the battle, when his arm curled tighter around her, holding her to him and communicating his need for the comfort that she brought him. Smiling tremulously, she snuggled deeper into the blanket and his embrace, before succumbing to the pull of weariness that still plagued her healing body.

Kenshin once again glanced down at the head of hair, a small stab of pain hitting him because he seemed to not be able to give her the attention he once could. He needed her, needed her acceptance and the joy over his presence to make it through, but he also needed much more time for himself than before. Needed to figure out a way to fix this problem he had created so he could give her the undivided awareness she craved. _Just a little more time, my little one. I promise._

x

Kenshin walked back into the clearing around his master's home with the awareness that there was someone else there. Someone he knew. Shifting the weight of the girl he carried, he searched the area, his eyes instantly locking onto the form of Katsura Kogoro. The man stood when he knew he was acknowledged, walking to him and then following when Kenshin headed resolutely to the house. Briefly Hiko caught his gaze, eyes questioning over whether he should take the child. Kenshin merely shook his head, holding the girl a little closer and smiling when he felt the tug of her fingers in his hair.

Katsura walked silently behind the dangerous man, one that seemed much calmer and more domestic with the child wrapped securely in his hold. She was a pretty child, her dark hair thick and long, framing her face with the unruliness of her bangs. The rounded cheeks she carried were sure to sharpen in maturity, the shape already hinting at a beauty that many would envy. Studying her sleeping figure, the blanket covering her shoulders but making way for the good arm that wrapped around the man to curl in his fiery hair, he couldn't help but smile. There was something calming in her. Maybe it was the innocence of childhood that created it, a feeling of nostalgia over the absence of that carefree bliss one would feel at that age. Whatever it was, he found he almost envied Himura that ability to hold it.

Smiling to himself, following closely behind the hitokiri, he almost missed the opening of her blue eyes. Caught suddenly in the awe of their color and intensity, Katsura stared back as she studied him, her fingers clenching and unclenching reflexively in the red hair. At first there was a fear, an irrational widening of her eyes before reasoning seeped in and she relaxed. Kenshin wasn't worried about his presence, so neither was she. Then there was a contemplative look, as if she was boring into his soul, weighing him as a human being and whether or not she could trust him herself. Vaguely he felt himself try to smile for her, but the brief thought that it would neither help nor hinder banished this reflex. Instead he waited, studying her in turn and realizing that this was what Himura and Hiko both found appealing in her. At the young age of seven she could hold a person in the palm of her hand, study them, and then keep or toss aside as she saw fit. They rejoiced in the feeling of being kept. Not the other way around.

It wasn't until they were inside the house that she finally freed him of her stare, the slight command of her Kenshin telling him to wait inside the receiving room breaking them both from their frozen state. At the moment Himura turned to leave she relaxed and smiled at him, before snuggling her face into the crook of the man's neck and letting her fingers slip from his hair. She had examined him and somehow found him to not lack what she considered to be good. The thought made him wonder at just what that was. Especially if she found it in the Battosai and his master as well.

Carefully Kenshin tucked the girl under the blankets of her futon, brushing hairs tenderly out of her face and smiling at the sleepy sigh she gave him in return.

"Who's that?" Tiredly she forced the words out, her voice breathless and weary. Kenshin paused before answering, knowing what the man's presence would mean and the sorrow it would bring to the slowly healing child.

"An old friend. Don't worry, little one, he won't hurt you." The words were only half a lie, for there was no way that he would hurt her physically. _Never again will that be allowed…_

"Hai… I know, Kenshin…" A slow yawn pulled at her mouth, making him chuckle then swat her hand away when it automatically lifted to hide it from view. The girl giggled, but didn't protest, letting him re-tuck her shoulder under the blankets. "He seems ok…"

"Just ok?" Kenshin couldn't suppress the urge to tease her, his violet eyes merrily laughing at her. Kaoru smiled brightly in return, her joy over his continued playfulness apparent in her eyes. She was so glad that this part of her Kenshin was something he would always keep.

"I like him," she replied simply, sticking her tongue out at him, before leaning happily into the hand that rubbed her hair affectionately.

"I'm sure he will like to know that, little one. Now rest, I'll wake you when it's time to take your medication."

"M'kay."

Kenshin stood to leave, watching contentedly as her sapphire eyes closed over the slight discomfort and satisfaction, glad that she was recovering without much problem but still worried over her stubbornness to push herself too much. Truthfully, if he had it his way, she would probably not leave the house, or her futon for that matter, but that would not do her any good either. So, seeing her sleep peacefully was the only time he truly felt relieved, knowing that she wouldn't be able to consciously do herself any harm.

Shaking his head, he walked back down the hall and into the room where his commanding officer was waiting, actually slightly surprised that he would come there at all… or that Hiko would allow him to be there. The man was sitting only somewhat relaxed in one of the arm chairs, his business making him too anxious to be there as only the friend Kenshin had named him. Silently Kenshin made his way to the seat across from him, sitting down tensely and suddenly finding himself wishing that he was anywhere but there. Wanting only to be able to stay with his Kaoru and not have to go do something that she would hate… that he himself would hate.

"Himura-san… I'm sorry."

Kenshin looked up, finding his gaze had wandered to the floor in his thoughts, startled by the apology when he could think of nothing that the man had done wrong.

"For what, Katsura-san?"

"That we did not find the traitor sooner, but… I assure you that he is being taken care of as we speak."

Kenshin nodded, digesting the news given to him and silently deciding not to tell the girl. The fact that I'izuka was going to be killed would only upset her further.

"I see…"

"…Is the girl alright?"

"She is now…but I'm afraid it will always affect her… there will be a scar." Kenshin couldn't help the hardness that crept into his tone, the fact that his Kaoru had endured so much pain a heavy weight on his mind, the scar almost too much to bear.

"She is a strong one… though I wonder if she hasn't suffered needlessly." Katsura sighed, rubbing a hand over his face wearily. "It shouldn't have happened this way, and I can only apologize that she was involved at all."

"I feel the same… though it was my own fault."

Katsura looked up at the tightly strung form of the dangerous red-head, the repentant and angry look that passed over his now slightly golden eyes. "If it is anyone's fault, Himura-san, it could rightly be my own for allowing you to keep her when she had family she could go to. Maybe I should not have been so lenient."

Hard amber eyes bored into him through the fall of crimson bangs, a terrifying denial to words that were not taken lightly. "You would have taken her from me? Forcefully?" There was an almost taunt to the tone, mocking his ability to do just that, and promising that it would have never been permitted in the first place.

Katsura felt the pull of his lip before he could stop it, the amusement over his fierce protectiveness always stunning to him. This man who never talked to anyone just for conversation's sake, who never left his room for just the pleasure of it, who had only used his sword to kill. This man who now held the delicate form of a child and cradled her like she was more precious than the air he breathed. The girl meant so much to him… he wondered if she even realized.

"No, of course not, Himura-san," Respectively he bowed his head, admitting his own folly in even mentioning her retrieval. "I would not dream of taking her away, then or now. Especially with the way she has seemed to stake her claim on both you and your master. She is quite the stunning child, if I may say… and I fear she has already judged me…" Katsura smiled in amusement, thinking of her steady blue eyes. "I wonder if I have fallen short of the standard, since I don't even come close to the demanding presence of either you or Hiko-sama."

Hard tawny irises turned soft in seconds, his mind coaxingly relaxing his tight muscles.

"She has informed me that she likes you…"

Katsura felt his eyebrows shoot up in shock, surprise followed by a sense of awe and then sorrow that he would have to hurt this girl by taking the hitokiri away. Clearing his throat he decided it would be best to steer the conversation away from the child.

"I hope it will last the day."

Kenshin nodded, lowering his eyes like one waiting for the death blow.

"Himura-san your services as a hitokiri are no longer required."

Disbelief shown through amethyst eyes as Kenshin looked up into the dark ones of the Choshu leader, wondering at the dismissal of his services.

"Then I am no longer needed?" Although he felt a profound sense of relief flood him at the thought, it was also accompanied by disbelief, knowing there was something more to the presence of his leader.

"You are needed now more than ever, however, you are no longer required in the shadows, another will take your place there. His style is unknown, but his skill is a match for yours."

"What would you have me do?"

"I need you in the front lines. The revolutionaries must have a counter balance to the Shinsengumi, their slaughtering of our soldiers having continued and only worsened over the last few months. You will be this weight that we need, your sword is the only one that we can rely on for this."

Kenshin sat silent, unmoving while his mind pondered his words. The killing would not stop even if he wasn't an assassin anymore. Duty would require him to still bring death to many more men, to stain his soul with more lives… He had known that the moment would come when they would ask it of him again, but… it did not make the coming any easier. _If I do this… if I fight for the new era of peace… many will die so that others may live… many I myself will kill. I knew this when I joined, but now… Knowing what I have become… Still… I cannot just throw my sword away… it will only shame and negate those lives that I have already taken… For them and for those still alive… for Kaoru… I will finish this. Then I will find a way to atone… without the press of obligation. As a free swordsman… a wanderer from the blood I have spilled._

"Himura-san…will you do this?"

The answer was slow in coming, the closed lids of his eyes the only thing revealed to the commander. When the deep violet eyes opened, they were determined yet sad…

"Hai, I will see this way through to the end, but only until then…after that… Hitokiri Battosai will be no more." His voice rang with certainty, brooking no argument. "Until then… I will become a demon once again."

A small scrapping sound caught both men's attention and Kenshin quickly shot surprised eyes to the cracked door of the room, just barely noticing the wisp of dark hair that disappeared from view. Another door opening spoke of the girl's departure from the house completely. Sadly Kenshin closed his eyes, wondering how much she had heard… _Enough_, he decided. Turning his eyes back to the man in front of him he caught his own look of sadness.

"Do you need a place to stay for the night?"

"No, there is a place in town that I have made ready." Quietly he told him the location while Kenshin gazed distantly out the window. Nodding, he stood, leading Katsura to the door.

"I will meet you there tomorrow."

x

Kaoru ran out the door and straight into the large form of the man she now thought of as Father. Giving a small cry of surprise she darted a glance up into his face, small tears pulling at the thickness of her lashes, before she wrapped her arm around his waist in a desperate move for comfort. It did not take long for the master to pick her up and hold her in his embrace, smoothing the threads of her unruly hair down in a soothing manner. Silently he cursed the presence of the man that brought it about and the baka who was at that moment agreeing to hurt her further.

"What's wrong, little dragon?" The endearment rolled of his tongue, only vaguely rough and unfamiliar in his wording.

"Nothing." Vehemently the girl denied the fact that she was crying, burying her face in his shoulder and clutching at his shirt with her good hand. Inside he chuckled at her stubbornness, the show another reminder of why he had thought of her as the dragon he called her. Supporting her comfortably against him, Hiko made to step back into the house, to tuck her securely back inside her futon, but the quiet plea that spilled from her lips stopped him in his tracks.

"No, please… I don't want him to see."

Nodding his understanding he turned to the fire of his kiln, immediately registering her small tremors and the warmth that would be provided for her there. _She hides so much of her sorrow from him… if only he knew the sadness that consumes her on the inside instead of only seeing the laughing love that she shows on the outside. _Sighing Hiko sat down on the log once again, settling the child in his lap and wrapping her in his long coat.

"Is he leaving?"

"Hai." The voice was small, deflated in the face of her Kenshin's departure.

"Baka."

Kaoru nodded in agreement, whipping her eyes on the sleeve of her long sweatshirt. She knew that he had to leave, knew that it was going to happen eventually, but… that didn't mean she liked the fact that it was happening now, or that she could pretend that it didn't hurt her.

"Do you think… he'll come back?" Hopeful indigo eyes trailed up to his, needing the reassurance that her Kenshin was going to come back to her. That he wouldn't die… or forget that she was waiting…

"You know that idiot will always come back for you."

Uncharacteristically Kaoru blushed, ducking her head to hide the happiness that those words caused her. Surprised, Hiko lifted an eyebrow, wondering at the sudden shyness that was consuming her. The opening and closing of the door pulled his scrutiny away from her, however, and to the two men parting ways behind them. Katsura bowed in farewell to the younger man before turning and bowing again to the both of them. Twisting on his heel, he left back down the trail he had come from. After a few seconds Kenshin himself moved to them, his deep violet gaze drawn to the girl snuggled in Hiko's lap. Hurriedly the girl sniffed, banishing any lingering signs of her grief. Kissing him on the cheek quickly she detached herself from his grip and ran to the waiting arms of her Kenshin. Shaking his head in amusement, Hiko returned to his fire.

In his arms again, Kaoru listened half-heartedly to his short rebuke for not resting like she should have been, instead concentrating on twining her fingers in his hair and enjoying the sound of his voice and the warmth he was producing. _He will come back… he always comes back._

"Kaoru," Knowing blue eyes looked up into the amethyst of his own and Kenshin mentally sighed. "I have to leave tomorrow."

"I know."

"But not until tomorrow… will you spend today with me?" _I promise to give you all of my attention, only you… there will be other times for myself. Right now, I will enjoy the peace you wish to give._

Kaoru looked into the focused eyes, waiting for the withdraw that would always come with that color… waiting… Smiling wider at the continuous attention she was getting, Kaoru nodded eagerly, her heart happily full to bursting with the knowledge that for that day he was all hers.

x

Sapphire eyes snapped open, their deep pupils almost pinpricks surrounded by the blueness of the irises. The feelings of elation and love that swelled inside her chest slowly disappeared under a wave of sorrow and despair, creating an ache that tore at her heart. Unnoticed by the woman, two twin trails of tears swam down the sides of her face, burning their path to her temples and collecting in the soft hair there, curling the strands slightly. Only one thought echoed in her mind, only one word standing on her tongue as she stared blindly at the dark ceiling of her room.

_Kenshin..._

x

A/N: Sigh... I introduced two main bad guys in one page! What was I thinking? Am I trying to make it harder or what! Ok, this is mainly a filler, with minor details to keep the flow of the story good and not too jumpy... anyway, any questions review and I will answer... tell me what you think! See you in the next one...


	10. An Era of Peace

Yay! Here's the next one... just finished it up... Ok, there is a lot of liberties taken in this with the original story line... I hope you have realized this by now... lol. Anyway, age is a little off, and I know this... Ano... The same with times that characters meet, which I did on purpose... I hope that nobody is confused by the jump in time... but don't worry, I will be going back and explaining everything that has happened in between the past eleven years. At least the important parts... Well, enjoy...

Disclaimer: This very sad and lonely woman is not mine to mess with... I just borrow her and hopefully she will not drop her beliefs to kill me for it...lol

x

"I try to remember to forget you,

But I break down every time I do.

It's left me less than zero,

Beat down and bruised."

_How Long_ Hinder

x

Chapter 10: An Era of Peace; 11 Years Later

_Sapphire eyes snapped open, their deep pupils almost pinpricks surrounded by the blueness of the irises. The feelings of elation and love that swelled inside her chest slowly disappeared under a wave of sorrow and despair, creating an ache that tore at her heart. Unnoticed by the woman, two twin trails of tears swam down the sides of her face, burning their path to her temples and collecting in the soft hair there, curling the strands slightly. Only one thought echoed in her mind, only one word standing on her tongue as she stared blindly at the dark ceiling of her room._

_Kenshin…_

Slamming her eyes shut, she fought against the tremble in her jaw and lips, a warning of the sobs wishing to escape. Her chest hurt from the exertion, but she was determined to keep quiet, to not show the weakness that she carried. A vulnerability that only came with one person… one man. Besides, there was no need to worry the boy.

Sucking in a shaky breath, she willed the tears to stop, focusing, or rather un-focusing, her mind away from such thoughts as him… his hair, his grace, his attention and … possibly love. With these thoughts firmly pushed from her it was easier to stay calm, much like the way she used to admire him to be. Over time it had become almost effortless, or as close as she could get to it, to compose herself. Time and distance numbing her until she felt like an empty shell that lived for everyone else and did nothing for herself. It still hurt at times, like the sharp intensity of lightning lashing out and incinerating anything in its path. It still felt like her heart was being torn from her chest whenever she remembered the little things that she had come to love… The way he would look at her, and only her, with that fondness in his eyes and that gentle touch that would assure her and himself that she was near. The softness of his hair between her fingers, the comforting fire that cradled in her palm, making her think of the power of that symbolism and the hold she had over it. Rarer still was his smiles and laughter, a deep throaty sound that made her stare in awe that first time and laugh along every time after. Over the past three years it had become easier, but not when she slept… not when her mind made her remember it all with severe clarity, resurrecting everything that she thought she could, if not do away with, then at least talk herself into living without.

Rolling to the side, Kaoru let herself drift, her eyes wandering ceaselessly and carelessly over the shoji in front of her, the dojo she now lived in only slightly worn by time. There was still a lot about it that needed work, mainly repairs to rooms that were used less frequently, as well as the training hall, which she refused to rush through in favor of getting done right, but it was all hers. Something that she could claim as her own, completely and utterly, and best of all… it could never leave her. Only she could leave it.

The first thing she had fixed about it after buying the run down building for cheap (cheaper than she thought it worth anyway) had been the roof, the wooden shingles rotting in places and falling in over the kitchen. This had taken a large chunk of her saved money… money that Kenshin had steadily been slipping into a joint account. One that she found he never took from, only added to. The next focus of her attention had been the plumbing, which prompted the addition of a modern bathroom, because even though she loved the traditional bathhouse, and it was still standing (and used when she felt particularly vain, angry or unsociable) she also loved the convenience of the ready and waiting hot water. Which also directed her towards putting in a heating system, Kami knew what the place would have been like in the dead of winter without one. The well she kept too, being unable to pass up the beautiful accentuation to her yard and the fact that it served nicely chilled water in the middle of summer. The outhouse… she hadn't thought twice about its removal.

Somehow she had managed to fix the gardens in her spare time, finding a dormant talent for growing any and all types of plants, even if she couldn't cook any of them. The koi pond was still rather bland at this point, it being February and her cease in free time before the end of last summer making it devoid of all life, including any koi to fill it. There was a determination in her, though, to make it somewhat decent and hopefully pleasing this year. Even if she wasn't beautiful herself, she wanted her home to be.

The décor of the inside she left alone, only redoing and fixing any that needed attention, loving the feel of that traditional history that was rapidly disappearing under the cloak of modern technology and living. That there was still some modern aspects was to be expected, but she prided herself on the imaginative incorporation she had taken with them, effectively hiding or just deftly arranging so that everything corresponded and didn't overpower the quiet beauty of the simple wooden structure.

The kitchen, oddly enough, was the room she had taken the most liberties with, spending a lot of her hard earned, and not-so-hard earned, money on the more expensive and built-in appliances. Somehow she felt that even though she couldn't cook to save her life, though she had learned that instant and frozen meals were her friends, she could at least make up for it by having anything and everything Kenshin would need if he ever stopped by. If he ever…

Plunging her distracted mind back into her reality, she felt her bottom lip quiver again, fighting against her to let the built up anguish spill free. Pounding a fist harshly against the futon she was lying on -a passing promise to buy a real bed when she had the spare money so she wouldn't hurt herself anymore by that repeated action- she sat up and crawled to the outside shoji. Quietly sliding it open she took in the faint tinge of lighter blue on the eastern horizon, stars still just barely visible in the darkest region of the sky. Spreading herself across the engawa, she rested her chin on her covered arms, the sweatshirt she had stolen from Hiko falling way past her fingertips and waist, while her feet stayed stretched back inside her room.

Sadly she stared out at her lawn, taking in the dark shapes of trees and the high wooden wall that surrounded her without much interest. It was always hard to keep her mind pegged on any one thing when she was like this. Desperately missing her Kenshin.

Her Kenshin?

A soft snort puffed from her nostrils, drifting through the still morning air. Why she still thought of him as belonging to her she couldn't begin to guess, especially when it was him who had left her; it was him who had walked out the door and never came back, leaving her with a fierce spring of frustration, hurt, uncertainty, need, confusion… love… hate… despair.

_No,_ softly shaking her head Kaoru rolled to her back, letting her skull rest on the edge of the porch, tilting her chin up, her eyes searching for some understanding and comfort in the morning sky. _It was my fault. I shouldn't have been so stupid as to believe that he could love me like I love him. That he would find me beautiful and attractive and something desirable… like I do him. That he really wanted me as his own…_

Slowly her lids descended, closing off her bright eyes from the world, barely allowing the tears to slip between their crevices to journey once again down her temples. Unconsciously her hand lifted to cover the scar she bore. The thin, white blemish that marked her… shaped her… strengthened her… cursed her… It told a tale of its own, bringing back good and bad memories. A bittersweet legacy that loved or hated, depending on how you looked at it, on how you felt about it… or just on who you were. For Kenshin, she knew it only spoke of betrayal and madness, his conscience drowned in the self-loathing he felt for not protecting her like he should have, of losing himself to a darkness that almost consumed him.

For her it spoke of strength, of becoming stronger in spirit and body, of a cleansing. A recognition of the madness and the finding of a way to banish it. The first step to solving any problem was realizing that there was one. All he had needed was a little push, a little direction, and although it may have been harsh, for her body and his mind, it had helped him discover that problem and gave her the courage to tell him how she felt… her fears and observations… about him and the harm he was committing on himself. Funny how it was also that scar that had scared him away… chasing him out of her room in fear…

The tears seemed to become hotter, searing her skin and alighting her eyes until they felt like they bathed in fire. Choking on a sob, her fingers bit into her left shoulder, her unconscious bid to tear the offending mark from her apparent in the desperation of the move. _Why? What is wrong with me? Why can't he love me? Am I not good enough? Am I not what he wants? I'd do anything… be anything… whatever he wants… _

The sob escaped this time, echoing in the quiet glow of morning and counter-pointing its comforting swell of golden colors and crisp air. That last thought had been a lie, and it killed her to know that she was capable. _No… not anything… I can't be that little girl for him. Not anymore. Not after everything that has happened… Not after everything I've been through… everything that I've felt… Please forgive me this one selfish request…_

Curling to the side she pulled in on herself, the fetal position she was in muffling the sounds of her broken sobs, her mouth pressed firmly into the soft cloth of the oversized sweater. Tears soaked her hair and clothing, clinging heavily to her dark lashes and spreading thickly like a waterfall down her face. Most of them were for her, the weakness and selfishness she had shown all in the bare space of five minutes a harsh ball of shame in her stomach. But they were also for him… knowing that he hurt still and probably blamed himself for what had happened. He was always doing that when it came to her… caring for her too much for his own good.

With the slowing of the tears came the numbness she was used to, an empty feeling that helped her cope with the lonely life that she had carried on without him. It helped when she had to pretend to be cheerful, to not have to deal with the grief while she fed the desire to make those around her comfortable and happy. They didn't need her agony and weaknesses dragging them down. Besides, she could handle them on her own… she didn't need help to control this situation she herself had created.

Finally wiping the moisture from her face, her eyes dry and puffy, Kaoru pushed herself up and reentered her bedroom, her mind and body emotionally exhausted and missing any telling warning of the sad amethyst eyes that watched her.

Kaoru dressed quietly in the obscurity of her room, preferring the half-light of the early morning sun to the harsh brightness of the electric overhead light. Pulling on a faded pair of jeans and a comfortable t-shirt, she exited her bedroom to walk through the warm halls of her home and to the kitchen.

The cupboards weren't even half full, only being stocked with prepackaged instant meals and snack foods. Not very healthy, she conceded, but then again it was better than having something that could possibly lead to her burning the house down. Sighing at her dwindling supply, she took out the last box of cereal and a pair of spoons and bowls, a meal she had picked up on after seeing an American movie with a friend. Simple, easy, and no cooking required. Of course she did have to buy the silverware just to eat it, but it was worth it.

Setting everything up on the low table in the adjacent room, she pushed the stray hairs of her loose braid out of her face before turning back to the hallway and the mess of rooms at the other end of the house. Stopping before a room only slightly further down from her own, she raised her hand to knock, then sighed at the loud snore that rang through the door. Shaking her head and smiling in amusement, she placed her hand on the small crevice between the doorframe and shifted the wood sideways, revealing the room beyond.

Inside was lighted only slightly more than her own room as his window faced the eastern horizon, clearly illuminating the boy asleep on the floor. At twelve, he was just beginning to show his true height, his head just level with her chin now. Two bare feet stuck out from under the blanket, the rest of the length bunched up under his armpits, his right arm clutching the warm material to him while his left sprawled out above his head, off the mattress. Above his shoulders his mouth hung open, his loud breathing assaulting the air as he slept deeply and peacefully, blissfully unaware of everything but the rest his body desired.

Standing in the doorway, fondly taking in her ward's undisturbed slumber, Kaoru reflected sadly on how she used to be that way. Happily aware that she was somewhere safe, and wanted, a vigilant presence always near if she needed. Those times, she realized, were the happiest of her life, the simple pleasure of having her Kenshin within reach if she ever wanted for anything more than she could find the strength to do without sometimes. That ability to be able to wake up and find him sleeping against her wall, the chance to crawl blearily over and wrap herself around him and sleep again, this time with his own arms curled protectively around her.

Feeling the betraying tremble of her lip, Kaoru walked hastily forward and nudged the boy with her toe, almost smiling at his snort of protest.

"Wake up, Yahiko-chan, you're going to be late." Kaoru forced her voice to come out slightly annoyed and condescending, needing the distraction of his indignant and biting reply.

"Don't call me chan."

Grumpily the boy slapped at her legs, rolling over and showing her his back. Smiling for real this time, Kaoru softly kicked him again, more insistently.

"Get off your lazy ass and get dressed. And didn't I teach you anything? Don't turn your back to an enemy."

This time the boy turned his dark, defiant eyes on her, watching her warily from beneath coal black lashes.

"I thought you were supposed to be my sensei, busu, not my enemy."

"I _can_ be both." Irritably Kaoru kicked him again. "Now get up before I drag you down the hallway."

Watching him finally push himself up and out from underneath the blankets, she stepped back and left, closing the door smoothly behind her to give him the privacy to change. It was a welcome relief to have the boy there, another person she could pull in and take care of to the point of distraction. Next to that, she knew he needed it, too. Needed someone to care for him where there was nobody else.

An orphan at the age of eight, the boy had been taken in by a gang of thieves intent on using him as their scapegoat if they were ever to get caught. To his credit, the boy learned fast, defying them by becoming good enough not to ever be seen. That is until he had run across her, his quick and clever hands stealing inside her jacket pocket in search of the spare money she kept there. She would have gladly given it to him if she had known the state he was truly in, but then, at the time, she had only seen a thief. Snapping a hand around his wrist she had quietly demanded what he thought he was doing. Defiantly he had stared back, not saying a word, clenching his jaw in frustration. But she had seen the awe in his eyes, the look of wonder that she had actually caught him.

"_Stealing is not very honorable little man." Sapphire eyes unwaveringly locked onto his own black ones, overpowering his will to pull away as quickly as possible. The words hurt, in more ways than one, his honor the only thing he had to hang on to._

"_Don't call me little." The petulant reply escaped him before he could stop it, the thought that others still saw him as little irking him, especially when this woman was barely bigger than him._

"_And what would you have me call you?" There was a touch of amusement in her tone that angered him even more and prompted his next heated announcement. One that would make him wince afterwards._

"_My name is Myojin Yahiko, and I am not little. My father was an honorable samurai."_

_Kaoru's lips quirked higher at the declaration, her own sense of awe rising with his brave words. He was from a samurai family, and was obviously proud of it. _

"_Well then, Yahiko-chan, what would you have me do with the men that are now surrounding us?"_

"_Wha?"_

_Dark eyes darted over the five guys that were a part of the gang he was controlled by, their faces shadowed and angry at the way he was taking his time and talking to his targeted victim. _

"_Nothing." A surge of fear entered him, suddenly afraid of what they would do to her if she stayed a moment longer. He was a thief, and he hated every minute of it, but it was better than being a thug. Never would he hurt somebody just to steal from them, especially if he could pull it off without them even knowing. "Just leave… before they kill you." _I'll take the consequences of not getting the money, as long as they don't kill her.

_Kaoru looked uncertainly at the boy in front of her, his wrist still held in her hand, his defiant eyes now holding a terror for what they would do. Smiling suddenly, shaking her head at the confused look he gave her, she pushed him behind her and turned to face the group of men, backing slowly into the mouth of the alley that they stood in. _

"_What are you doing?" The angry hiss shot over her shoulder, disbelief apparent in his voice._

"_Are you a thief because you choose to be?" She countered his question with one of her own, her eyes never leaving the thugs, but her tone soft enough so that he only he heard._

"… _No… I don't have anywhere else to go." _

_Kaoru heard the sadness and it clenched her heart, sympathizing with him. So without knowing a thing about him other than the fact that he did not want to see another get hurt, she gladly stepped up to take the punishment for him._

"_Well, well, the little girl wants to play." One of the men turned to laugh at the thought with the others._

"_Maybe we should show her what a real good time is then."_

_Kaoru smirked, mentally laughing at the arrogance of the stupid bruisers. They wouldn't know what hit them._

"_Then why don't you show me?"_

_Smiling lazily through her lashes, Kaoru watched intently as they circled back around her, the boy now a target as well. Straitening her spine at the threat to another, Kaoru calmly placed an arm out, blocking them from him and communicating her wish for him to be still. Between one breath and the next she crouched, calling upon all the training from the two men she loved in her life, as well as the experience she had gained from two very important friends, she launched forward. Without the comforting feel of a sword in her hands she would have to rely on her body as a weapon, and a distraction if she could. Already they had been looking at her with an unveiled interest in their eyes. The fact that she knew what they were thinking only made her sick to her stomach, Nobody touched her unless she wanted them to._

_Gritting her teeth she slammed bodily into the knees of the first, throwing out her arm to catch her balance on the concrete and whipping her body around in a form reminiscent of a small wiry friend she knew, cracking her foot into his face. Landing smartly on her feet she took stock of the others, finding their amazement amusing on stupefied faces. Taking advantage of the space of time, she let her hard indigo eyes sweep through the alley, alighting finally on the thick dowel rod tossed carelessly in the trash. It looked rough and with a sigh of defeat she resigned herself to several splinters, but she was more in her element with a sword and not with her bare hands. Though she could hold her own, she wanted to get this over with and the boy as far away as possible._

_Ducking under the arm of another, more slender man, she stood up fast, bringing her elbow sharply into the back of his neck. The resounding crack echoed between the high walls of the surrounding buildings, sounding sickeningly in her ears and making her doubt herself with the move. When he grunted at the impact with the ground she breathed a minimal sigh of relief before darting forward to grab the piece of wood. Snatching it up, she rolled under the knife thrown at her unprotected back, the metal clanging on the thick iron dumpster. On her feet again, she took in the three remaining thugs, the long dowel rod held menacingly out in front of her. It was a bit longer than she was used to, but she would just have to improvise. The weight was just this shy of her katana, however, and was a welcome feeling next to the emptiness of a few seconds before. _

_The boy stood dumbstruck in the center of the alley, his dark eyes trained on the fierce figure of the woman he had tried to rob only minutes before. She had seemed such an easy target, her unassuming smile and care-free manner with every stranger she passed making her seem innocent and in no way capable of expecting a thief to steal from her, let alone be able to catch one. Now, though, she looked like an angry tiger, her blue eyes lit with power and a small sense of cold calculation instead of the laughing childishness of before. Already she had disposed of two of the gang members, laying them flat with just her bare hands, and now… now she held the long stick of wood as if she was born to hold it, as if she knew what she was going to do with it. And he had no doubt that she did know… and was going to proceed to show the others exactly how._

_With the impromptu weapon in her hands, she made quicker work of the last three than she did with the first two. In mere seconds they were down, and he had barely seen her budge, her movements fluid and certain, with no trace of remorse in them. It wasn't until after she was done did he notice them all lying still, breathing heavily and unconscious on the ground. None of them were hurt badly, but they would not be able to use their hands for awhile. Then she was turning to him, a smile present on her face and her hands free._

"_Well, should we go get the police now?"_

"_Nani? But…" Hurriedly he backed away, not wanting to go to jail, because he knew that they would turn him in as well, would tell them that he had started it in the first place._

"_Don't worry, I don't think they will believe them over me, ne?"_

"_You would lie to them… for me?" Disbelief shown through at her, his hesitance in accepting her word shouting in his eyes._

"_No."_

_Yahiko balked, darting his eyes around in a bid to find an escape._

"_I will not lie to them, but who says the truth wouldn't be much better. Don't worry young man, they won't punish you."_

"_How do you know?"_

"_Because I will take responsibility. It's my fault you were caught anyway right?"_

"_But…" Speechless, he worked his mouth soundlessly, wondering at the giving nature of this woman he had tried to steal from. "What do you care? You know nothing about me!" Angry denial forced its way over his mind, refusing to believe it was going to be that easy, that she was that trusting._

"_Ah, but I do know that you are the son of an honorable samurai, and that you would not see someone within your power to protect be hurt." Teasing sapphire eyes laughed at him out of her sharp face, a small sense of pride and triumph battling inside her._

"_You would take my punishment just because you know those two things? Are you that stupid? Or are you just that naïve?"_

"_Perhaps." He got the feeling that she was laughing at him again. "Now, let's call the police before they start waking up. I've already done my training for today and I don't feel like repeating it. Work was brutal." Sighing and rubbing her neck, Kaoru motioned for him to follow her, walking out of the alley and into the dark street beyond. Reluctantly the boy followed, wary of her, wondering if she wasn't just going to leave him in the hands of the police and forget about him. _Yeah, that's definitely it. What does she care anyway? She'll probably just go home and dismiss me as just another stranger and forget I'm even alive.

"_Do you have anywhere else you can go to?"_

_The question caught him off guard, his brow wrinkling and a sense of impatience hitting him at having answered the question before._

"_I thought I already told you no." Huffing out a breath of annoyance, he crossed his arms and looked away from her, gritting his teeth when she laughed under her breath at his petulant look and tone._

"_Would you like a place to stay?"_

_Dark irises swiveled to her and for a second she could see the hope in his eyes before it was crowded out with angry acceptance. "With you?" He wouldn't chance the fact that she would send him somewhere else, like a home. There was no way in hell they were going to get him in an orphanage._

"_Hai, with me. Just until you find somewhere else to go…" Noticing the look in his eyes she smiled softly. "Unless you want to stay with me that is."_

"…_Would you teach me how to fight?"_

_The long silence that stretched between them had him wondering if he hadn't offended her… or upset her by asking. When he peeked at her face there was a wistful expression in her eyes, a sadness that was not meant for him to see._

_Kaoru sorrowfully thought over those words, knowing that he had already shown the will to use her altered style the way it was meant, better than she could with the contamination of a killing style within her. Her hands and body were trained in two different techniques, the first of which was the deadly form of the dragon, as she liked to think of it. So, in a sense, even though she had spent many of her years perfecting a new type, she was still not able to use it the way it was meant. This boy could possibly be the birth of her style, a beginning like she herself could not be._

"_And how would you use your strength if I trained you?" She did not look at him when she asked, and he had the feeling that whatever answer he gave would decide whether she kept him or not. Thinking over his answer carefully, he noticed that they had stopped, mere feet from the police station, her eyes once again trained on him and her body language stating that she was ready to stand there for as long as it took for him to decide._

"_I… would use it however you teach me to… sensei." Slowly the words worked from his mouth, deliberately choosing each one carefully, and when he looked up she was smiling at him._

"_Very true… but in the end, it will be you who decides how you will use it, not me. I cannot tell you what is in your own heart." _

_A moment of relief pressed in on him, the knowledge that he was going to be kept crowding his mind and burrowing itself deep within his heart. This woman knew next to nothing about him and still wished to keep him… in her home… even after knowing he was a thief when they had met. _

"_My name's Kaoru, by the way… Yahiko-chan was it?"_

"_Don't call me chan…busu!"_

_The teasing light left her eyes and turned angry in a flash, her hand whipping out to smack him soundly in the side of the head._

"_Don't call me that, you little brat!"_

"_What? Busu? You ugly old hag! You shouldn't call me little then!"_

"_Why you! You should treat your sensei with a little more respect!"_

Kaoru sighed and shook her head, that boy did need to learn to be more respectful, but then… she actually enjoyed bickering with him. The chance had never been allowed to her when she was growing up, having no siblings of her own to pick on… only Kenshin, and she had never even dreamed of calling him names or wrestling with him just for fun like she would with Yahiko. Their relationship had been… different…

Back inside the kitchen she pulled the milk out of the refrigerator. Dropping the carton on the small table she shook out some cereal and then half acknowledged the boy when he walked in, plopping down on the cushion and grumbling about stupid sensei's and their need to wake him up this early in the morning. Rolling her eyes, she only just barely got one bite in before the phone rang. Closing her eyes in a bid for patience, wondering who in their right mind would call her this early in the morning, she left for the other room and grabbed at the receiver harshly.

"Kamiya Kaoru, what do you want?" _Whoever is on the other end better have a damn good excuse too. _

"Is that any way to answer the phone?"

Kaoru relaxed against the wall and scratched a finger over her cheek, smiling sheepishly. "Hello, Tousan… What are you calling this early for?" A teasing light entered her eyes. "Lonely are we?"

There was a gruff sound of disbelief on the other end, that forced Kaoru to laugh loudly.

"Do you mean to tell me the great hermit of Kyoto is actual craving human attention?"

"A person can't be worried about his little girl without being hounded about it?"

Kaoru's laugh turned affectionate, her smile widening slightly. "Of course not… don't worry, Tousan, I'm just fine. Yahiko keeps me busy training when I'm not working or at another dojo, and Misao and Sano are always bugging me into going out with them, so I'm not secluding myself. The house hasn't been burnt down yet, I have already promised not to touch the stove, and I lock up ever night. And yes I do double check. Feel better?"

"No, but I guess it will have to do…" There was a small pause. "Have you seen that idiot lately?"

Kaoru's smile turned sad. Hiko would never admit he actually worried over his apprentice, but his continued questioning every time they spoke hinted that he did. A pleasant yet bittersweet detail for Kaoru.

"No… you know I haven't." It was hard to keep her voice steady, but she managed, the slight waver barely registering over the phone.

"Yes, well… you never know. Certain things have been brought to my attention lately, and I have a feeling that he might be back in Japan."

Kaoru's heart leapt sharply just at the notion. _Kenshin? Back in Japan? He hasn't been in the country in three years._ Unconsciously she fingered the scar again, pulling nervously at the material covering it.

"Do yo…" Kaoru stopped to clear her throat. "Do you think he is… I mean really?"

"Hai." Hiko did not mention the fact that he had seen him in Kyoto, his red hair standing out as he talked to the old man at the Ao-iya. Presumably about her whereabouts, since he knew that the boy had stopped by his place while he had been out.

Taking in one shaky breath, Kaoru felt a sudden surge of anger. All those nights of worry and sorrow over him and in one day she found him to be alive and well, and back in the country, and he had not even stopped by to see how she was! With that sense of relief came a surge of irritation… her second instinct to be angry that he had left at all. Angry that he had treated her the way he had the day he left… No longer caring that her actions had drove him away, but remembering why she had revolted against him in the first place, she huffed out an air of impatience and annoyance.

"Well, it's really none of my business what he's doing now anyway, is it? If he wants to see me I guess he'll just stop by, if not… whatever… it's not like I can't survive on my own or anything."

Hiko suppressed the snort that threatened, shaking his head at her stubbornness, and wishing the boy the best of luck. After she gave him what he had coming, that is. _He's actually lucky that I know she can handle herself against him, or I might be inclined to step in again. _Fatherly instincts finally kicking in full force after Kenshin had left for the war, Hiko now acted like the father she had found others had. He was probably the reason no boys had ever taken notice of her with more than passing glances in high school. That and the fact that the first and last boyfriend she had ever had ended up in the hospital… by her own hands admittedly. Wincing at the memory, shying away from such a stupid plan as the one she had dredged up at the young age of fourteen, Kaoru shoved the nightmare from her mind.

"I know you can, little dragon, but you are his responsibility. He should take better care of you than he has."

Kaoru sighed, defeated. There was nothing she could do to argue that point. She would always be his… only his… but…

"I don't want to be just his responsibility, Tousan," she whispered softly… sadly. _I want so much more. _But she kept that weakness to herself. It wasn't something she wanted her father to know.

_And I know this all too well, little one,_ Hiko shook his head, hoping his baka deshi would get a clue some time soon and make the girl happy… before he decided to be a good father and break every bone in his body.

"I should let you get back to breakfast." Kaoru grumbled in exasperation. _How did he know I was eating breakfast?_ "Smack that idiot for me when you see him, and give that student of yours hell."

Kaoru laughed, giving him the sound he had aimed for. "Hai, hai, I'll talk to you later, Tousan."

"Take care."

"Bye."

As soon as the receiver hit the charger one lone tear slipped out to trail heartbreakingly slow down her cheek, skating over the sharp edge of her chin and itching the skin of her neck. Hanging her head dejectedly she couldn't help but feel worthless, unloved and unnecessary… _If he really loved you, if he really cared… he wouldn't have pulled away so thoroughly… He would have called and… and… And what exactly? _Bitterly she spat the words in her mind, angry at herself for such irrational thoughts. _What would he have said that could have made what happened disappear? Nothing. There's nothing that could have changed those events and there is nothing that could have made him more comfortable with the fact… Especially with what you said to him! Baka! _

Leaning over into the wall, she allowed the resentment she felt towards herself fade away into the void of her mind. There was no escape for it now… there was no reason to dwell on it… She was supposed to not care about the past anyway, and that was what she was going to do. Live now. He wasn't here and he wasn't coming back… If he had wanted her he would have stayed… Swallowing against the emptiness spreading out from the vicinity of her gut, the way it worked its way up her chest and made her heart and lungs ache, she turned around to head back to the dining area. And was met by a pair of curious dark eyes.

"Kaoru…" Worriedly he creased his brows, having never seen his sensei look so depressed. There was a dark haunting in her usually brilliant blue eyes that scared him in a way that all brothers felt at the distress of their sister's tears… uncertain and unable. "Are you ok?"

Surprised that he had come upon her in such a state without her even realizing he had been behind her, Kaoru wiped hastily at the small line of moisture, instantly smiling cheerfully at him… for him.

"Hai, everything's fine. That was just Tousan and I just get kinda lonesome when he calls is all… You know, nostalgic and all that…" Laughingly she waved a hand in the air, brushing past him and back to her now slightly soggy cereal.

"If you say so…"

Looking down at her barely touched breakfast she felt her stomach revolt, her emotions stealing any previous feeling of appetite, and leaving her empty yet uncaring. Sighing she lifted her gaze to the severely cleaned bowl of her ward and smiled. _At least he ate it._

"Right. You'd better get going if you're going to be on time for school." Picking up the dishes, she dropped them in the sink in the kitchen and turned back around to send the boy off.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?"

Once again those defiant eyes were uncharacteristically worried, boring into her with something like accusation present in his voice.

"Oh, I'll be fine. I'll get something at work. Now get going before you're late."

Nodding hesitantly, Yahiko grabbed his things and headed out the door, worried but uncertain about the woman who had taken him in. Never before had she ever been so openly upset, even the small show of weakness that he wasn't supposed to see surprising him. Sure he had seen her upset before, but he could admitted that he had never seen her cry, and that bothered him the most. Briefly he wondered if it had anything to do with the tattoo. A brand she refused to talk about.

x

Determined and angry azure eyes glowed in the stillness of the dark room. It was nighttime again, the sun having set an hour before, weighing the world down with its absence and only reflecting its open presence off the surface of the full moon. Tonight was not a night to worry and regret; to think and reminisce about times past and lose oneself in its heartbreaking tease. There would be no sleep to drown her consciousness in, vividly reminding of both love and life lost. No… tonight there was business to attend to.

Staring somberly down at the blue and black weaving of the katana she held, its pure black sheath shining only slightly in the quiet glow of silver light from her window, she sighed shakily at what she was about to do. With this sword… she could possibly kill a man tonight. With this weapon, its pureness never stained by blood, she could end a life and tear her heart apart… but only if she used it unwisely. Only if she forgot herself and became lost inside something she was all too familiar with. A madness that had consumed the heart and mind of the man she loved. That would not happen to her, she would not let it… but there was no way around its use. She needed its purity and strength to accomplish what she was about to set out and do.

Stroking a hand lovingly over the blue and black hilt, she thought back to that time she had received it. At the age of fifteen she had been deemed worthy of a real weapon; of finally having her wish to carry "a sword like Kenshin's." Reverently she had accepted the beautiful, deadly katana from Hiko, his eyes alight with pride and love that she had studied so thoroughly, and actual continued to progress every day, in his style and her own.

"_You have made me proud, little dragon. And though I know that you will never master the Hiten style, I can only apologize that it will leave you somewhat unfinished inside. However, I am confident that you will succeed in mastering finally the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu. This will compensate for your loss."_

"_Kamiya Kasshin-ryu?"_

"_Hai, you have not named it yet, ne? I found it appropriate."_

_Pensively Kaoru thought it over, letting the words roll around her mind and off her tongue. It did fit. The fact that her Kenshin had given her the name and that it was his own struggle that had brought about its creation made it so. _

"_It's perfect, Tousan." Briefly she forgot about the formality of the situation, throwing them back into the forms of father and daughter._

_Smiling softly, Hiko stroked a hand over her smooth cheek. "Don't ever give up on your dreams and beliefs… my daughter."_

Shaking her head, the woman reminded herself that tonight was not about the past, but about what was happening in the now. Specifically the killing of innocents and determined police officers. For weeks now she had heard the rumors, the whispered words of the deaths of random bystanders by the wicked blade of a huge man. A man that claimed to be none other then the legendary Hitokiri Battosai. Furiously Kaoru ground her teeth together, a rage building inside her for the idiot that took HIS name as his own, tainting it with his mindless killing. The Battosai was a ruthless assassin, yes, but he did not kill for nothing. Everything had a reason and rationality behind it. A goal that was set inside a once pure heart. There was no way she could allow this intruder to press his unworthy being onto such a noble idea. Especially since she had such a personal interest in said idea and, of course, with the man himself.

Standing up smoothly, hand comfortably wrapped around the gift from her father, she slipped unnoticed from the dojo, drifting mutely down the half-lit streets like a shadow blown on the wind. Tonight she was going to utilize the teachings of silence and intense calm her own master had taught her, her real master… her only master.

Interested, unwavering violet followed her dark clad form from the walls of her own dojo, his feet finding the concrete smoothly and moving him swiftly after her quickly retreating figure. A vague thought that she had improved immensely floated proudly across his mind.

x

**Glossary**

**busu -** ugly

**baka deshi -** idiot(stupid) apprentice(disciple, follower)

A/N: I did not involve Yahiko with the Yakuza because I was afraid that would create too many problems to deal with, and while I have faith in Kaoru's ability to take them on... I have placed this in the present times, and with the guns and things of now-a-days... I couldn't avoid them cheating... So... I had to simplify his situation just a little bit... Sorry if it disappointed anyone. Well, this chapter was mainly about Kaoru with only a few suggestions of Kenshin... Something different and hopefully interesting...? Onegai... I'm sure we all have our assumptions on what has happened between the two to make him leave... and maybe some of you are right... shrug... we will get to it soon... promise... and not just narrator like stuff from one character... if you haven't noticed... I like to go fully back and explain everything in detail from a third person perspective. I think it shows their emotions, thoughts, and actions much clearer and helps you as the reader understand much more deeply. Well, if there are any questions, please don't be afraid to ask... and please review and tell me what you think... I love feedback... See you soon...


	11. Through Amethyst Eyes

*Author bows low in apology, groveling pitifully before the readers* I'm sorry... I'm sorry... please forgive this unworthy one and her short attention span... I am so easily distracted... and it was hard to feel motivated to write... being back home with my parents and all. Gomen nasai. I never wished for this to happen to this story and I am hoping that with the finishing of this (hopefully better) revised chapter, I will be able to feel much more motivated to write on the next... which, by the way, already has a lot done on it. I apologize for my worthless attempt at the other chapter, the one I did before this one that I deleted, and I just hope that any of you who read it will forgive me for filling your mind with such worthless filth. Now, please read and please... I hope that you like it... I did this just for you... *cowers in fear and hopes none will throw tomatoes*

Disclaimer: This bad ass, protectively pissed, eat you for breakfast, uhh... woman (lol) is not mine... originally... but I've always wanted to see her this way. *giggle*

x

"I'm sorry I'm bad,

I'm sorry I'm blue,

I'm sorry about all the things I said to you.

And I know,

I can't take it back."

_Sorry_ Buckcherry

x

Chapter 11: Through Amethyst Eyes

Kenshin followed silently behind the shadow flitting in and out of the darkness, the movements of the woman a smooth imitation of his own. The smile that tugged the corners of his lips was almost involuntary, the joy at being able to see his Kaoru again and the amusement at her copying of himself enough to make him almost... giddy? Then, he always had laughed more with her than anyone else. Yet this happiness was kept down with the presence of the blade at her side, a weapon that, for as far as he knew, had never been used in actual combat. That knowledge was almost three years old now, however, and he had next to no idea how that time had been spent in her life. Sobering himself with the thought, Kenshin's smile died, amethyst eyes now sad with the memory of an occurrence he did not wish to remember at that moment.

Instead he quickened his step, catching up enough to make out the creases and folds of the straight black hakama she wore as well as the long sleeves of the dark gi. Never before had he seen her in anything traditional, other then her training gear, and in a way it seemed to solidify her skill as an actual fighter... as a samurai. Though many would disagree, if only for the mere fact that she was a woman, it did not matter to him, for he knew the strength and determination that she possessed were stronger than many of the men he had fought with in the war.

Seeing the clothing on her like he had seen those others, he couldn't help but compare her to them in his nostalgia. The way she walked, the near silent scrape of material as she moved, only the barest roll of her hips marking her apart from the others by gender. The ever present hand below the hilt of her katana, the relaxed curl of her fingers a signal that she was ready, or rather a warning to any lucky enough to catch a glimpse of her. Finally the high ponytail, the length darker than the outfit she wore a feather in the wind as the strands pulled against each other to branch out and play in the soft breeze, bringing a hint of jasmine to his nose. Though many had mirrored her in appearance, none of them had the presence she projected out from herself, even now when she was trying to hide it.

The ki energy that he could feel was, at the moment, schooled and tightly coiled, a seriousness to it that he had never felt before. The fact made him even more nervous of her intentions, wondering at the difference that had come over his Kaoru since he had left her. So many things had been pointed out to him on that day, so many changes... or maybe secrets revealed. Never before had he seen her cry like today. Never before had he seen the depression that shrouded her spirit in such gloom. Was that his fault? Did he cause this drastic overhaul of the girl he had left behind? If so... would she even welcome his presence if he decided to show himself later? Would he be able to show himself later with the guilt of that knowledge weighing him down?

Closing his eyes briefly in the pain that thought caused, Kenshin once again shoved his thoughts from his mind. The chaotic turning of his consciousness a direct result of the distance he had placed between them... a large reason why he had come back at all. Now, he was discovering that maybe it wasn't only himself that was affected so horribly by the separation, but her as well. Swallowing with difficulty, the ex-hitokiri ducked into an alley, hiding from intent sapphire irises as they swept the area behind her, searching for the disturbance of pressure that had caught her attention. For several seconds he held his breath, gritting his teeth at the slip he had let into his emotions and the tremor it had projected onto his normally calm and undetectable ki. Finally she moved on, a reluctance in her step telling him that she was not satisfied with thinking that there was nobody there, and that she would now be watching behind her more intently than before. At least he knew that she wasn't totally unsuspicious of everything. That she watched herself carefully instead of in the carefree, innocent way she had before. Knowing this almost lightened the worry he had for her, making it easier to breathe over the fear he had felt for three years... a fear that since he was not there she would be hurt or worse...

From three blocks down he could hear the fighting, their feet taking them to the darker parts of the city and to the person his Kaoru was supposedly seeking out. There was an uproar of noise and chaos, a police radio crackling and buzzing in intervals as they got closer, a voice yelling for backup, while the crack of bullets and the clang of metal echoed off the walls of the surrounding buildings. Laughter was present also, a deep menacing huff of air that paralleled the ki and made his skin crawl and his lips curl in disgust. Whoever was taking on the officers was enjoying it, a state that Kenshin himself had never reached, thankfully, in his darker days as a hitokiri. Now with the feeling from another holding that glee, he couldn't help the swirl of anger that ran deep in the pit of his stomach.

Before him, Kaoru herself had visibly tensed, her ki still calm and tight, but her body rigid and shaking, her fingers gripping the weaving of the hilt with such fierceness that the skin turned white in irritation. Quickening her steps, she disappeared momentarily from his view, her feet darting off to the left to come around to the side of the street, away from the direct view of the others. Following close behind, he found her stopped in the mouth of an alley, the hint of pale skin that showed from the neck of her gi the only break in the shadow. Cautiously her head tilted to peek out around the corner, her hair spilling out over her shoulder, her hand still wrapped around her katana as her eyes searched the pandemonium on the other side.

Not able to get a view of the scene without letting her know he was there, Kenshin backtracked down the alley, finding a way up to the top of the building Kaoru was leaning on. Dodging around the flat expanse of the roof, he finally found the darker press of shadows that was his Kaoru and the street she was staring at. The first thing that caught his eye was the man. He was huge, taller than any of the police officers that were trying to arrest him, and the bloody katana he wielded in one hand was skillfully used, whipping out and catching any of the unsuspecting _and _suspecting men in the way. It was almost like a massacre, the amount of bodies that were beginning to pile up around this man sickeningly large, and containing many civilians as well, the defenseless forms twisting around each other in inhumane ways.

Amber eyes narrowing in anger, Kenshin couldn't help the shake in his limbs as he watched the fight quickly draw to a standstill beneath him. Now would be the perfect time to defeat him, take him out while he was distracted with the few remaining men, but he had not thought to bring his own weapon with him when he had left the hotel that morning, and he could not very well fight him without it. Still, there was no way he could just allow him to continue on the way he was, the senseless killing was making him sick, and angry... in a way that had been dormant for many years. All of it only mounted higher when the rough voice of the killer shouted out in challenge for the rest to step forward.

"Come, if you fools think you can defeat me! I am the legendary Hitokiri Battosai, my blade has drank the blood of thousands! Yours is next!" Threateningly his katana levered out to point at the shaking figures across from him, the deep, red liquid on the end dripping off to splatter onto the pavement below. All of this was seen by hard amber eyes, but what really caught his attention was the spike of indignant anger from the woman below him.

The disturbance tickling his mind, his tawny gaze flickered over to the movement of darkness to his left, the stepping out of the woman he had been following. Deceptively she was calm, her body relaxed now and almost lazy in her stance, yet it was her ki that held her emotion, the shaky way she had it pulled into her like that of a trembling fist waiting to strike. Anger permeated the air around her, conquering his own with a powerful spark of pureness that surprised him, his mind wondering at why she would be so very offended only after this man had named himself the way he had. The code of her own style was set severely against everything that the Battosai had ever done as a hitokiri, and she had hated every time he had been called to take a life... so, reasonably, she should hate the name, the very meaning of the use and purpose of Hitokiri Battosai. Why would she care for its use by this man when it was clear that she should care more for why he was using it?

"No." The word was level, a solid denial to his statement that was heard over the silence that had ensued. Sharply the man that claimed Kenshin's old title turned, hard eyes measuring up the dark figure behind him. "You will fight me."

The string of laughter that followed was mocking, the guy obviously amused by the smaller form and its mad inclination to challenge him so outright. "Go home, boy, before I send you in pieces."

Kenshin watched as she did nothing more than step forward again, not even reacting to the unknowing insult, calmer now than he had ever witnessed her being before.

"Did you not hear me, boy? I'm giving you a chance to leave alive. Maybe you should take it."

"Maybe you like the sound of your own voice."

"What?"

"I said you will fight me... or are you scared that I might actually be a challenge?" Ignoring his indignation over her uncaring dismissal of his personage, Kaoru smoothly delivered each word, and with a sense of growing surprise, Kenshin watched. It was only after her second sentence did he notice the tremor in her voice, the barely suppressed rage and impatience that she was trying desperately to hold down. If she wasn't careful she could very well make a bigger mistake than he cared to watch.

"Fine." Looking over his shoulder he pinpointed the three men still alive with a glare. "Wait here, I'll handle you after I'm finished with him."

Vaguely Kenshin wondered when the idiot was going to figure out that it was a woman he was about to fight, though he didn't think that it would make much of a difference. Maybe only a condescending one, but that would be in Kaoru's favor anyway. At the moment, though, he was beginning to wish the rest of the police would show up soon, for the fight that was about to occur was nothing he really wished to happen. His Kaoru fighting a man twice her size and with a style unknown to her was not wise or favorable. _But who am I to interfere now after being gone for so long? After tearing myself away from her life, how would I have any hold over what she can or cannot do? When did I ever? And if I show myself now, if I intercept the fight... she could very well hate me for life. I don't want to make her feel inferior... I don't want her to think that I don't have any faith in her skills..._ Torn between the need to protect and the need to let go, to let grow, Kenshin grit his teeth harder and made himself stand his ground, every muscle in his body tense and waiting to jump incase she was in any danger of being hurt. Though he didn't want to think about what would happen if she was. Without a weapon at hand besides the one she used, and the anger and worry that was already boiling beneath the surface, he could very well make a split second decision that would haunt them both for life.

Dropping easily into an attack stance, Kaoru popped the sheath on her sword, sending up a silent prayer that she would not mess up, that she would not fall into a strike that could be fatal. For both of them. The smirk on the man's face was enough to irritate her, knowing that he thought she was going to be easy prey, and that he thought she was a guy, something she couldn't let go of in the deepest recesses of her pride. But how could she beat him if she allowed something so superficial to run her actions and purpose? This wasn't a fight for herself, nor truthfully for the use of the name, but for everyone that he was a danger to. Then again, no one could blame her for setting the record straight in his mind either or stopping the madness from spreading, even if there were going to be certain people that still thought of the name only in connection to death. At least it would be stopped.

Studying his own stance, Kaoru knew she was going to have to adapt to his style on the fly. Without knowing any set details of his moves she was playing on a dangerous chance. Lucky for her she had trained in a style that watched and overcame such obstacles with ease. So when he charged her first and swung high, she saw the tilt of his blade and the lifting of his arms a split second before he arched around toward her. Sidestepping into him, she brought the full length of her katana free from the sheath to counter, the song of her blade a sweet ringing in her ears before it collided with the danker sound of his own, the spit of sparks and angry clash showing their dislike of one another.

A step back brought him within a range to swing again, his other hand coming up to clasp the end of his hilt for more power into his cut, and as she ducked back out of the way, she saw the tip pass within inches of her nose, her heart pounding harshly against her ribs in response. Pushing down the dread, she locked onto the adrenaline, pulling it up and using it to throw more speed into her attacks. Jumping back into him before he could raise his sword again, a dangerous game to play with the unpredictability of the outcome, she levered out her weapon and stomped down hard on his own. Surprising him with the move, an improvisation on her part, she used the leverage to launch herself between the curve of his arm, knocking it loose of his hilt and slicing open his rib.

Bouncing to her feet behind him she watched him stumble, the wound nothing as serious as it could have been, but rather the ripping she had done to his hand a more trying handicap. Kaoru held her breath against the smell of the blood, the metallic taste it brought to her mouth. She had witnessed it so many times before, but this time it seemed much more potent and her stomach felt that much more queasy. _It was only a scratch. People can't die from scratches... he isn't going to die._ Concentrating on the breeze blowing through the street instead, Kaoru let go of the thought, telling herself that now was not the time. Later she could convince herself. Later, after he was in jail.

Intent irises watched the fight from the rooftop, the two-story building keeping him from view yet allowing him to still feel a part of it. There was no solidarity to the emotions he felt, the reeling back and forth between the calmness he had found and the anger he had buried working on his will and fighting each other to be the dominant. Rationally he could watch her and know that she was good enough to win. Angrily he could disagree and point out that it shouldn't be happening at all. He should be the one down there. He should be the one protecting her and everyone else from a name and fear he had created. But he wasn't, and he couldn't go now... and with a deep breath he was forced to let the anger go, watching instead as she danced around the pavement, each blow she landed a move to conquer instead of kill.

It wasn't until his Kaoru slammed harshly against the wall below him, the sleeve of her gi hanging wide as her blood ran down the exposed length of her arm did he contemplate giving in. The samurai she fought walked slowly toward her, his triumphant grin a vain set in his face, even as he was bleeding from more places than countable at the moment.

"Not so tough after all, are you little boy?"

Kaoru curled her left hand over the open wound, shooting a glare at the large man and lifting her katana once again in warning for him to stay away. As the man drew nearer, Kenshin felt his fists shake even harder in suppression, holding back the growl that wished to escape his throat when the monster leaned forward to mock his Kaoru to her face.

"Now what are you going to do... beg for your life? Go ahead and beg... maybe I'll enjoy hearing you sniveling at my feet."

Slowly Kaoru stood, her lip curling in disgust at the closeness of the vile creature before her. Hissing in a bout of defiance she spit on the ground between them, pulling her hand away from the cut to join her other around the hilt.

"That's the only part of me you're going to see at your feet."

A short, disbelieving growl rumbled from his chest, dark eyes narrowing with anger. "Why are you not afraid? Didn't anyway tell you that you should fear the legendary Hitokiri Battosai?"

This time it was Kaoru who laughed, the irony of the situation catching on her and lighting her eyes with a half-cynical look. "I will never fear the _real_ Hitokiri Battosai... so what makes you think I would ever be afraid of the likes of you; a fake nobody who takes pleasure in killing defenseless people?"

"Why you..."

Angrily he swept out with his katana, the path shaky with his rage and easily dodged by the trained woman he fought. Ducking to the side Kaoru countered with a swipe of her own, watching how the bloodied katana of her opponent barely blocked the strike, knowing now that she might just have angered him enough to wear him down.

"I _am _the real Battosai... and I will make you pay for doubting me."

Blocking blow for blow, Kaoru easily fell into the pattern of defense, watching the confusion grow on her opponents face, mixing with the anger. Each of his attacks became more harried and irritated, impatient to have her dead before him since he had never had such trouble before. Playing off his agitated state, the dark-clad woman ducked and danced around him, staying out of his reach when at all possible and making him come to her, forcing him to go where she wanted to go. In the back ground, the police still hollered through their radio, taking cover behind anything that was available as they watched, in wide-eyed suspense the battle before them. Kenshin himself stood frozen, wondering at her ability to hold him off so long when he knew for a fact that if she had really wanted, she could have taken him out long ago. But that was against everything she believed in... and for her endurance, he was proud.

Sooner than expected the man stumbled, his weariness showing at the chase he had undertaken to try and catch the one smaller than himself. Taking the chance given to her, Kaoru yanked hard on the length of her sheath, pulling it free from her belt backwards and using it to help him along. Twisting her wrist hard, she smacked the solid curve against the back of his knees, causing his falter to turn into a headlong trip, slamming him face first into the pavement below. Reacting quickly, Kaoru was on him within the time it took him to roll over, her naked blade pressed threateningly against his esophagus and her knee in his chest.

"Now you listen, you piece of trash." Heatedly the words spit from her mouth, bright, sapphire eyes narrowed in anger. _"The _Hitokiri Battosai only killed people for a reason. A better one than your own. He fought for a peaceful era for everyone to live in, not for one or two, nor even for himself, but for the people who did not fight; for the warriors he fought with, the ones he fought against, and even for the families of the people he killed. You could never be like him... not now; not ever. By using his name for your senseless murdering, by contaminating it with your disgusting personage, you shame him and this country. I will not allow such a dishonor to continue."

Shoving against him, she stood, vaguely aware of the approaching police from the other side of the street and the sirens in the distance, coming up fast. Stepping back away from his sprawled body she turned her head, distracted, when a movement of his wrist caught her eye. Smoothly whipping back around she arched out with her katana, slicing open the thumb on his right hand, severing the tendon and muscle clear to the bone. The bloodied katana dropped from his limp grasp with a sharp clatter, and then was kicked harshly up onto the sidewalk by Kaoru's own foot. Leaning over his curled form, his other hand cradling his now unusable finger, she whispered harshly so only he could hear her next shaky words.

"And I'm a woman, by the way."

The crack of her sheath ricocheted through the air as she slammed it against his head, and he was knocked out cold.

"Hey!"

Jerking her gaze back up to the running police officers, watching the backup they had been calling finally arrive from the other end of the road, she felt a sudden spark of indecision. This was not something she had planned on. What to do about the police. She just hoped that the ones that heard their conversation and watched the fight actually believed the male part of it. That would make it easier for her to leave without being found. Because she really didn't think she was going to stick around. Not if it was going to bring a lot of questions she didn't want to answer... or other things.

Looking down at her katana she noticed the slight smear of blood, but unused to such activities as she was, she was not practiced in cleaning in a hurry... and she would not re-sheath it with such filth covering it. Switching her grip on its hilt, she stepped over the body below her and took off down another alley, opposite of the one she had originally come through.

"Hey! Come back here!"

Kenshin watched his Kaoru disappear into the shadows of the back alley, slightly in awe over the whole proceeding. Beating him using her own style, conquering him in a sense without harming him fatally, initially making it so that he would never be able to use a sword again. Even stopping to give a proper talking to about the title he had so disrespectfully claimed as his own. That part had shocked him... hearing how she truly saw him... saw the Battosai that he had been. It made him feel somehow smaller inside. Because he felt undeserving of such praise. Nothing he had done as a hitokiri should have been admired in such a way. Not in his own eyes. But she did have a piece of it correct, he had not killed for any type of pleasure on his own part, but for everyone else. And maybe that was where he had gone wrong, by taking those orders and doing as he was told.

Closing his eyes momentarily, he redirected his thoughts back down to the street and the commotion of officers now swarming the pavement, the cautious few that were surrounding the limp form of the fake Battosai. Dismissing those, he looked over to the bolder ones entering the alley, watching as they searched for the missing fighter that had taken down their own quarry. They wouldn't find her, she had already disappeared down the other street and was quickly fading from even his reach. He was thankful for that because while he didn't think they would arrest her for taking down the man, he did think they might want to use her in the future... and he would not stand for that. His Kaoru working for the government like he had... the thought did not sit well with him at all.

Stepping back away from the ledge after making sure that they had the giant in handcuffs and thrown into the back seat of the police car, Kenshin turned to backtrack down the streets of Tokyo and search out his Kaoru once again. The worry was beginning to set in on him, wondering about the wound she had sustained and the way she was taking the blood she had spilled to defeat him. There was no real way of telling how she was going to respond, but he had seen the hesitation and revulsion on her face when her first blow had landed. The way she did not sheath her weapon when she was done. Nothing could prepare someone for their first really dangerous battle, and for someone like her, for someone who undertook the creation and code of a style like hers, it would be harder to come to terms with.

It did not take long to track her down, her shadow once again flitting in and out of the darkness of the domestic side of town, her feet leading her now over the tops of the roofs instead of around them. This time it was harder to keep up with her, even as her ki was spiking between calm and chaos, her bare blade flashing in the false light of the lamps and the soft light of the moon. Running as she was on silent feet, her movements were quick and alert, the adrenaline from her fight pushing her and heightening her instincts so that Kenshin had to be extra careful not only to keep from being detected, but just to keep up with her at all. Many times throughout their journey he had to stop, hiding behind whatever was closest just to keep from being caught. Some part of him thrilled in the knowledge that he was once again using skills that had been buried for years. Another wondered if he wasn't getting so rusty that he was letting his own student find him out so easily. Still another turned over the idea with a sense of pride and exhilaration that she was just that good; that she had learned not only from the best, but from both of them, and actually matched them in skill.

When finally they arrived back at the dojo he watched from a distance as she stole over the top of her own walls, the gate having been locked behind her, casting a furtive glance over her shoulder one last time before dropping from view. Stalking her, feeling for a moment like he was the one copying her movements instead of the other way around, Kenshin found himself once again perched between the branches of a hibernating tree. Gazing sadly into the half finished dojo as she meticulously cleaned every inch of blood from her once pure blade. There was no touch of emotion on her face, no sorrow, no disgust, no anger or loathing... only observant eyes that found every stain, even down to the smallest spot on her hilt in the dim glow of a candle. Shifting to get comfortable, Kenshin leaned his temple into the smooth bark of the trunk, half laying as he contemplated that look. The sadness he discovered was from himself... feeling it for her and for the fact that she had to do such a task at all. Knowing that somewhere under that blank expression, something in itself that he had never seen on her, was an anguish that she was trying to battle down. A feat she was extremely adept at, it seemed. Feeling his own heart tremble at the sudden insight, he looked away, his fingers finding their own way to the crossed scar on his cheek, pained that he had allowed himself to be so blind as to not see how he had hurt her... had always hurt her.

How many times was it now? How many marks could he put down if he was to tally up each and every prick of pain he had delivered to the heart of the one he had claimed as his own? The one that he had curled his soul around to keep protected from the outside world? Even if it meant his own life he had found himself drawn back to her and the small piece of comfort and freedom she gave to him, and still... after selfishly keeping her to himself, sheltering her from the harm others wished to inflict... what had he done but do it all himself? The real pain she endured... the real suffering that she held inside of her... was never caused by anyone else but him. Why? Why did she stay with him? Why did she ever put up with such trauma? _I killed her parents for Kami's sake! Why did she not leave? Why did she not run? What could she have possibly seen in me? A heartless killer that raised his sword to a child? One that has killed a child... an innocent! She should fear me... she should hate me... she should feel everything for me but attachment and acceptance... admiration and respect... What have I ever done to earn that from her? I am worthless to her... She is the one above me in every way... _

The flash of reflected light shooting through his eyes diverted his attention back to her physically, the blade she held clean and free of any sign of her attack on the copy cat back in the streets. Tiredly he watched her stand, the wound on her arm still open and unattended, but her focus was entirely set on the weapon and her movements. Slowly she walked through the first steps of a kata... but they were not of her own, but of his... her blade lashing out harshly, and from the hard line of her eyes, he knew it was a killing blow. Sitting up in confusion, Kenshin leaned forward to get a better view narrowing his own eyes at the contradiction she was showing. Gradually her limbs flowed faster, gracefully dancing through each form like they were second nature, never once hesitating in her swings or the viciousness that they caused.

Hours passed by in a similar fashion, her gi clinging to her with sweat, her breathing becoming harsher finally as she wore herself out with each killing blow imagined. Only a few hours before dawn she fell, her shaking knees giving out underneath her and her body slumping over on the slightly rough flooring, her katana rattling harshly against the wood. Each contraction of her ribs, each tremor in her muscles only added to his confusion and torment, his mind not able to comprehend her reasoning over such actions. What was she trying to prove to herself this way? Wearing herself out using a killing technique after defeating an accomplished fighter with a totally different one. Curious, yet undecided, he watched as she forced herself into a sitting position, pulling her own legs in so that she sat kneeling in the middle of the training hall. As smoothly as her shaking arms would allow, her wound reopened and bleeding freely again over crusted blood, she sheathed her weapon. Respectfully holding it before her as if in offering, she placed it on the floor carefully and bowed herself flat over her bent legs.

After a couple of minutes he heard her whispering to herself, her words indistinct and only for her. Saying them out loud as she was, he figured it must have been a way to solidify their meaning to herself. He knew how that felt, to want a firm standing, an unwavering commitment that only spoken words could give to you. Inside your own mind they are still hidden and shadowed, easily changed and covered so that you won't have to face what is real. Out loud there was no way to discredit them... no way to take them back... at least not without a fight. Dropping down soundlessly to the grass below, he snuck up to the engawa surrounding the training hall, resting up against the wood in a bid to hear what she wanted to make herself believe. Wondering at her reasoning for trying to wear herself out to the point of dropping.

"There is no arguing with facts. You are a trained killer. You know and have seen the best way to defeat any foe with as few movements as possible. This is what you can be. This is what is inside of you. But that does not mean it is who you are. You know you can. You _know_ it is possible to do... how easy it is to find justifiable in that one crucial moment of climax and anger. But that is not what you will do. That is not what you did. That blood spilled tonight was nothing. Nothing in comparison to what could have been. So stop being so weak! You did nothing more than take what you know and used it! This gives you an advantage. You know this. So leave it be." There was deep breath taken after her last announcement, her muscles still shaking enough to rattle the air as she took it in. Then there was noise like she relaxed her head into the floor, letting it thunk onto the wood in exhaustion. "I hope that I have not shamed you tonight Tousan. I hope that you would be proud of me. I hope that I have not shamed myself... or my shishou."

The scuffling of her hands and knees on the floor alerted him to her struggling form, how hard it was for her to even stand after torturing her body with training. Hiding himself once again he followed her with his eyes, making sure that she would not stumble and fall only to hurt herself more, wrapping his mind around what she had given him in thought. By her reasoning, he assumed that making herself practice deadly ways of killing after defeating somebody in a totally opposite fashion, she was showing herself that just because she had initially hurt the man many times over it did not mean that he would die because of her. She was proving to herself that she did not use even one technique to attack him with that would have killed him. She never once let her anger or a misguided judgment rule her actions and let her fall into a killing blow. Doing this, she was forced to see her own reasoning, forced her body to show her mind the difference. It was a strange idea, but effective. If only he could have reassured her. To tell her that she could never dishonor either Hiko-sama, nor himself.

After many unstable steps his Kaoru made her way into the bathroom, the soft whoosh of the door closing behind her telling him that she was now somewhere he could not follow. The opening and closing of drawers and cupboards informed him of her search for antiseptic and bandages, so at least she was going to take care of her wound now. Tiptoeing further down the halls, berating himself for acting like some kind of robber in the house of his little one, he poked his head into the kitchen and looked around the dark room. After noticing earlier in the day that his Kaoru had simply popped something in the microwave for her meal, he had questioned whether or not she even owned any real food, and if not, he wasn't going to be very pleased with her eating habits. Something else he knew he would blame on himself for leaving her.

Sure enough the cabinets all revealed some form of snack food or prepackaged meal that contained so many preservatives they made him sick just looking at them. Shaking his head, he resisted the urge to throw them all away on the spot, instead making a mental list to go shopping in the morning. This was something else he would not allow his Kaoru to live with, or rather without, any longer. Snorting out a breath he found the refrigerator and freezer were not much better. _At least I won't have to worry about what I buy, because she really doesn't have anything._

Glancing up at the clock he found the hands pointing to four-fifteen, which meant if she went to sleep now she would get only a couple of hours in, but it would be better than nothing. Especially if she had to work in the morning like she had yesterday. Feeling around for her ki, he noticed that she was still in the bathroom, the steady drum of water alerting him to the shower now running. Letting out a breath, he slid to a sitting position by the stove, resting his head back against the wooden counters to wait her out and hope that she did not decide she was hungry before going to bed.

Running a hand over the polished wood floor beneath him, he smiled at the knowledge that his Kaoru had made such a beautiful home for herself. The small garden in the back, the well kept furnishings and woodwork, how she managed to keep her home feeling traditional like that of Hiko's and still have more new things here than Hiko would ever think of buying in his lifetime. The boy was another wonder he did not quite understand as of yet, but the short training session she had given to him before dinner was a big enough clue he figured, as she only taught him about her own style. It felt only slightly strange to have someone else in the house with her besides himself. That she would take someone in like he had her... And only when he thought of it that way did he feel any spark of anger or... jealousy.

Softly padding feet down the hallway brought him back to the present, letting him know, along with the soft slap of a door closing, that Kaoru was finally on her way to bed. Sitting still for several more minutes, he waited until he was sure there was no more movements but that of the muffled snores of the boy further down on the other side of the house. Making his own way to Kaoru's room, he listened at the door, picking out the gentle breathing and soft sighs she always emitted in her sleep before carefully opening the door himself and entering on tentative feet. Almost fearful to be so close to her after everything that had happened between them.

Kaoru lay half curled to her side, her right arm, the one she had injured, laying stretched out over her body in a bid to keep it from touching anything that would aggravate it. The relaxed set of her face was far from anything peaceful, however, not containing that look of a child in sleep but rather just a worn out young woman. The sloppy braid curled around her back let loose the cleaner cut bangs as they fell over her cheeks and eyes, her mouth partially opened and her brow furrowed and irritated. It was a definite look of exhaustion and he worried that she would have a hard day because of it, and yet he secretly hoped that maybe it would be worth it for her when she came home that next night.

Kneeling down beside her he cautiously brushed stray hairs away from her nose and eyes, wanting her to sleep as long as she could undisturbed. Sleepily she twitched at his touch, bringing up one hand to swat at the tickling nuisance, giving up halfway by dropping the arm again, rolling slightly into his hand with a sigh. Smiling he moved to pull his hand away, only to find her fingers twisted through the material of his long sleeve, her body curling tighter at his bid to retreat and forcing the clutched material to cradle against her chin.

"Ken…shin..."

Suddenly terrified, he tried to pull away again, looking at the shadow created by her bangs, wondering if she hadn't woken to find him there. But there was no spark of blue to reflect the small light from the window, and no conscious woman to yell at him to leave. In the small tussle her fingers relaxed from his shirt, letting him go while stretching her arm out again, this time off the futon and onto the cold wooden floor. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he picked up her hand to tuck it back under the blankets, viciously ignoring his pounding heart and the pumping it sounded in his ears. Swallowing with difficulty, he relaxed next to her, taking in the familiar features of her face and the minimal lifting and lowering of the blanket at her ribs. Risking one last brush of fingers over her skin, he resisted the urge to linger and curled his hands back into his own lap, focusing instead on what he wished to tell her.

"Gomen, Kaoru... for hurting you. I never meant for any of this to happen to you... never to you. Please forgive me, for what I have done and what I must do... I don't wish to hurt you anymore... but I can't live without you near me." Choking on his words, he grit his teeth over the closing of his throat... the burning at the back of his eyes. Taking one shuddering breath, he doubled over to whisper in her ear. "Gomen nasai."

x

Kaoru jerked awake for the second morning in a row, a familiar voice in her ear and the lingering feel of hot breath ghosting over her cheek and down her neck. Shivering at the remembered feel, Kaoru drew her brows together in confusion, looking around the room curiously in search of a clue as to what had brought on such a strange dream. Eyes finally catching on the clock, her ears tuned in to its relentless beeping instead of the words of apology she was wanting to hear. Cursing colorfully, she struggled out of the twisted covers to stomp over to the annoying sound and slap a hand over the off button. Running both hands over her face, she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and pulled the hairs away from her cheeks. Tugging at her clothes and the drawers of her dresser she searched quickly for something to wear to work.

_Great, just great... I have to go train at the Maekawa Dojo today as well! What was I thinking last night? _Snorting rudely at herself she made a face, irritably yanking at the waist of her long skirt. _Oh yeah, I was thinking that I was tired of people getting killed because of some stupid idiot's whim to use a legendary title as his own to get away with it easier. Kisama!_ Pulling at the tie in her hair, she quickly untangled the length before brushing it out and pulling it up high into a ponytail. Her boss would just have to get over it today, she was not in the mood to play girly-girl at her job.

Carrying her socks with her down the hall to the kitchen, using the cold wood as an excuse to wake herself up further, she slammed open the cupboards, uncaring of the racket she was making or who it would wake up in the process. _Do the boy good to wake up on his own every once in a while... the lazy bum. Why do I put up with his name calling again? _Grumbling under her breath, she yanked out the bowls and a glass, microwave safe mixing bowl to make the oatmeal in. She needed something warm today... and the boy might appreciate it as well... since she rarely tried to manage it since it did require some assembly. The thought never crossed her mind that since she was so impatient and irritated, that she might not have much luck with it at all.

With the disturbance she was creating in the kitchen, the boy stumbled in finally on his own. Growling himself at the rudeness of others and how they were trying to make his life a living hell. Dropping his bowl down in front of him, she shot him an unamused glare, earning one in return for her trouble, before stalking back off into the kitchen to throw the mix into the microwave and set it for the required amount of time. The cereal came out runny, another excuse for the boy to complain, and Kaoru ended up so angry with everything, that she dumped her own bowl down the sink and threw the rest of the dishes in after it. Grinding her teeth together, she stormed off out of the house, slinging her bag of training gear over one shoulder and not looking twice at the folded arms of the twelve year old following after... a disapproving glare boring into her back.

_What is it with this boy? One minute its like having a little brother... the next he's acting like my mother. You try taking care of two people on your own you little brat! _Tossing one last glare over her shoulder at the sullen dark eyes, she turned the corner to go down her own path to work... knowing she would be sorry for that thought later, but too angry to care at the moment. Truthfully still upset that she had not seen even a glimpse of the red hair she had wished for the day before. _Baka._ Adjusting the pack on her shoulder she didn't even try to contemplate who she was calling the idiot... herself or the short ex-hitokiri.

At work she bit her tongue at the dissatisfied staring of her boss, cheerfully greeting each customer and smiling through her restlessness, tired and grumpy as she was and in no mood to deal with the stupidity of people. Lunch came and went without any fanfare, with neither of her friends free for the day she sat alone inside the break room, picking at a frozen dinner and staring dejectedly at the newspaper in front of her. Nothing in the paper had mentioned anything about the man claiming to be the Hitokiri Battosai, now or before when he had first appeared. Kaoru assumed that the government wished to cover it up since he had been one of their own... the real one anyway. There was something about the capture of the mass murderer Hiruma Gohei, naming him as the one responsible for all of the killings recently, but there was never any mention of the one who defeated him or the title that he had wrongfully claimed. Shaking her head, but feeling slightly indifferent, a depression sinking in and taking hold of her, she pushed the paper away and tossed the remaining pieces of her lunch in the trash.

Training at the Maekawa Dojo was always interesting, and she enjoyed every bit of it, even if she did know that many of the young boys who showed only came because she was there. Either way she was getting one on one practices in for herself and gaining business for Maekawa-sensei, as well as giving her style some credit. When she was finally finished with her construction of the dojo and opened it officially, she was hoping that these outside training days would attract some students of her own. Lastly it was a way to solidify a place for her one and only student to learn outside of her style when she judged him trained enough to spar with someone other than herself. Today, however, she could not seem to concentrate and her limbs felt like dead weights, slowing her movements and distracting her mind. Finally it was Maekawa-sensei himself who sent her home, expressing his worry that she might not be feeling well and that she should get some sleep for the day. Unable to protest efficiently, she packed her things and left, to the distress of most of the young men.

Walking slowly home, still dressed in her training gear and carrying her bag over her shoulder, she stared at her feet in an unfocused daze, the pride she thought she should have felt at the defeat and capture of Gohei gone with the wind. Instead she felt empty, missing something inside that should have been fulfilling but unable to place what it could be. There was no fear like there had been last night, so she no longer had to battle with the disgust and terror of seriously injuring him. There was no anger anymore either for the taking of a title that was not his, and yet there was no comfort in the knowledge that this man was behind bars because of her. There was nothing... and maybe it was because she had no one to share it with. Maybe it was because she had done it more for one person than for everyone like she told herself she had to. There was just no way to convince herself anymore that she had beat him only for the people he had killed... because she hadn't. She had done it for only one... and he would never know.

Ashamed beyond experience, she felt her depression tighten, the tears she had held back for years, had fought for years, finally overwhelming her and breaking through her walls. There was hardly any defense left, their hot liquid burning her skin and itching her face, dripping off her cold nose and chin and making the sniffling she was already fighting because of the cold wind even worse. Swiping a hand over her eyes in defiance, she bit her lip, desperately telling herself, promising herself, that she would cry later, as soon as she was home she would lock herself in the shower and cry until there was nothing left... but not here, not now.

Wearily closing the gates behind her, she shuffled up the walk, opening and closing the front room door and bending down to slip off her shoes. Limply dropping her head in her hands, the bag on her shoulder sliding off onto the floor beside her, she let herself rest, telling herself that it was only for a moment. When the smell of food caught in her nose she wrinkled it in confusion, wondering when the boy had ever learned to cook, and why he would suddenly decide to do it now. It didn't smell bad, though, so maybe she could let it slide this one time. Lifting her head, she was about to turn when a hand cautiously touched her back. Squeaking in surprise, she jumped to her feet to stare down the perpetrator.

"Kaoru... ano... you're home a little early." Yahiko stared back at her, his dark eyes worried and nervous.

"Hai... they sent me home... I'm not really feeling well." Letting out a breath of annoyance she stepped up on to the walk, slipping past him and heading for the shower.

"Uh, I hope it's nothing serious?" Doggedly the boy followed, dancing around behind her in a bid to keep her attention.

"I don't think so, Yahiko... just tired is all." Ignoring him, she continued on, missing his suspicious fidgeting and telltale signs of confession.

"Oh, that's good... so umm... are you hungry? Because there's someo..."

"Yeah, I can smell it..." Finally opening the door to the bathroom, she stepped through and turned to the boy. "Thanks for making supper Yahiko, I really appreciate it."

"But..." Yahiko stepped forward to try and catch her attention again, but the door was already shutting in his face. Helplessly he stood in the middle of the hallway, unsure of what to do next. "Kaoru?" But there was no answer from the other side. _Shit! Now what?_ Walking slowly down the hall, he covered his face with his hands in despair.

"She's gonna kill me."

x

Kaoru sighed in pleasure at finally being able to relax, her loose hair swinging freely down her back and a pair of baggy pants and a long sleeved shirt covering her comfortably in warmth. Glad that she had obviously left them in the bathroom that morning, though unable to actual remember the occurrence, she sighed again, running her fingers through her long hair as she walked toward the dining room, wondering what Yahiko had found to make. Shrugging the thought off, she reached for the door, started to pull it open when she was stopped by the frightened squeak of the boy running down the hall.

"Kaoru... I need to tell you something."

Confused, she continued her progress on the door, her eyes fixed on him and his terrified features. "What?"

"Please-don't-be-mad-at-me-but-he-seemed-harmless-and-he-said-that-he-knew-you-and-that-you-guys-went-way-back-and-that-you-wouldn't-mind-at-all-if-he-was-here-and-not-to-say-anything-because-he-wanted-it-to-be-a-surprise." It all came out in a jumbled rush, his tongue only pronouncing every other word in a way that she understood it.

"Nani?"

The door fully open now she diverted her gaze to the inside of the room, her body freezing as she found herself looking at shaggy red hair and smiling violet eyes. A smile that faltered when she did nothing but stare blankly back at him, her eyes blinking owlishly, and taking him in with a sort of detachment that worried him.

"Kenshin?" There was a few more seconds of silence before the smile broke out over her face, her eyes lighting with delight as she jumped forward to wrap her arms around his neck. "Yatta!"

Letting out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, he returned the embrace, careful to only hug her back briefly before pulling gently away. Resisting every urge in him to hold on and never let go. To let his head drop onto the solid line of her shoulder and give in to the weakness he felt at being in her arms. To let himself hide inside the scent of jasmine in her hair and at the base of her neck. To forget everything else but that one moment in time when they were nothing more than happy to be in each other's presence. But he could not do that... not now... possibly not ever.

The smile was still present on her face when he stepped back, her mind not yet catching on to the next blow he was about to land on her. "I missed you Kenshin."

Swallowing hard he forced himself to smile back, the harmless smile he had perfected over the years and had used on the boy earlier. "I missed you too, Kaoru... dono."

Finally the confusion clouded her vision, a small piece of hurt darkening her eyes at the use of the honorific... at the huge amount of space he was forcing between them. "Nani?" Lifting her arm she reached for his shirt, wishing to hold him still. To bind him to her and show him that she did not care for this new development, but he hurriedly jerked back from her, a fear jumping in his mind at the knowledge of her intentions. His actions, however, only proceeded to hurt her further, her face crumpling before his eyes as she struggled against the tears gathering at the back of her throat. "Dame..." Clenching her jaw, she pulled a shaky breath through her nose, desperation tingeing her words and heart more with every moment. "...dame..." The pain in his own eyes forced her arm back to her side, her head slumping into her chest in defeat to let her bangs cover her face from view as she swallowed the tears and composed her features. In the next second she was nodding, showing her understanding before she turned away from him, walking back out the door she had entered.

"Kaoru-sensei?" Yahiko still stood by the door, observing the whole scene with suspicion. The smile she showed him was every bit the Kaoru he knew, but he was beginning to suspect was not real.

"It's ok, Yahiko-kun, he is welcome here... I think I'm just too tired to eat. You can have my share, ne? Kenshin is a really good cook."

"But you haven't eaten much in the past couple days."

Kaoru shot him a look that said she was not happy he had let out that piece of information, but sighed in defeat and looked back down the hall. "I'll be fine... I just need some sleep. Oyasumi nasai." Walking by him, he watched her disappear around the corner of the hall, her dejected form telling him all he needed to know about this newcomer. Tilting his head back to the room he narrowed his eyes into a glare, letting the other know that he was not pleased with his presence. Kenshin merely smiled, to his displeasure.

"Would you like something to eat, Yahiko-kun?" Holding out his arm to the table in offering, Kenshin waited for the boy's reply. He did not keep him waiting long.

"I'm not hungry." His voice was flat, his eyes unamused. "If I had known you were only going to make her cry again I would not have let you in."

Finally the smile melted off his face, his eyes serious and sad as he looked away from the boy. "Hai... and I would not have blamed you."

"Then why don't you just leave... before you hurt her more?"

Taking a deep breath, he smiled again. The look harmless and unreadable. "Somebody has to get Koaru-dono to eat, ne?" Turning back to the table, he pretended to ignore the kid.

For his part, Yahiko did not like that he was there at all, that he had hurt his sensei more than she was already showing. But he could not order him to leave since she herself had said that he was welcome. Huffing out a breath of defeat he stalked out the door, throwing heated words over his shoulder. "Fine... tell Kaoru I went to the Akabeko to work for the night."

Sighing, Kenshin found himself left in the room alone, the smile falling off his face and showing his true weariness. Things were going worse than he had originally thought, but then... his thinking when it came to Kaoru was probably always a little off. _I have always thought of her as unbreakable... as strong and unyielding, but I think I have finally realized where her weakness lies... and maybe I should be more careful with her._ Closing his eyes over the pain in his heart, he walked back into the kitchen. Grabbing a tray from the cabinets, he returned to the other room and piled it with food for his Kaoru, determined to make her eat somehow.

x

Kaoru entered her bedroom, sore and tired, her body emotionally and physically exhausted. Everything was going wrong... even though she was getting everything that she had wanted. The murderer was behind bars, but she felt nothing but indifferent about her own large part in it. Dinner was actually made before she came home, with no work on her own part, but she was no longer hungry for it. And Kenshin was there, but it seemed he did not want to be any closer to her than before. In fact, he didn't even want that. He wanted just as much distance to be between them as if he was still out of the country. Laying down on her futon, she threw an arm over her eyes in disgust. _And it's all my own fault. I made him uncomfortable to be around me... I made him scared of me... What does he really think of me now I wonder? Do I sicken him? Is that why he looks at me with wariness and fear? I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I wish it never would have happened. I wish I never would have let my heart wish for such a naive thing. I wish... I wish... I wish I could be that little girl for you again._

Taking in a shaky breath, determined not to let herself cry any more than she already had, she found herself with a lung full of jasmine scented air. Sitting up suddenly, the thought jumping in her mind that _that _boy had snuck into her room again, ready to be angry to shut out the sorrow, she stopped at the sight of the large bouquet of flowers sitting on her vanity. Frowning to keep herself from smiling, she crossed her arms and pouted.

"Now that's not fair."

Laughing at herself for even thinking that Kenshin could ever be negative in any sense towards her, she rubbed her eyes and moved to crawl over to them. Tenderly running her fingers over the smooth petals, she smiled at the smell, a scent that had quickly became her favorite after Kenshin had sent home a complete set of body wash from China. Ever since then she had bathed in nothing else, preferring the smell to that of any other kind. Maybe more because Kenshin had liked it first, but that was beside the point. It was the fact that he remembered it was her favorite that made it special. She also knew it was a sort of apology and promise in itself.

But that did not mean it still didn't hurt to see him look at her the way he had; the way he had jumped away from her touch like she was something diseased and contagious. It hurt more to know that he was lowering himself beneath her, forcing such a distance of respect between them that he shouldn't even be allowed to touch her. If his choice of words were correct in every sense. So what happened now? Now that he had set the rules so high, strictly pushing her away even though they were so close? How was she supposed to act in this play he had begun? What was her part in it in his mind? Had he really expected her to just play along so passively? Did he really think that she was going to just accept his word game as is without any form of protest?

Pulling her hand sharply away from the small flowers in sudden anger, she huffed out a breath of vexation. _I am not above him, and I will not answer to "Kaoru-dono" because that is not who or what I am. I am his student for Kami's sake... I am his charge, his responsibility, as Tousan is always saying... I am his... his... _Leaning her head against the corner of her vanity she sighed. _I am his. I belong to him... and I always have. I am the one that should be paying him the deepest of respects, not the other way around._

The abrupt knock on her door jumped her heart into her throat, jerking her away from the bouquet almost guiltily.

"Kaoru-dono? I brought you something to eat."

Jutting her chin out stubbornly, she didn't answer, pouting her lip and making a face at the honorific.

"Kaoru-dono?" The soft knock sounded again, his voice holding a cord of worry.

Kenshin sighed when she continued to stay quiet, her presence only known to him through the quiet flare of her irritated ki. Feeling his throat fight against him once again, he leaned forward over his bent legs to lay his forehead on the wood of her door. Flattening his palm next to him, he desperately tried to quell the need to touch and reassure. Pleading quietly in the stillness, he didn't imagine she would hear his breathless words through the thickness of the door.

"Please, little one, I can't take you being mad at me. Please… don't be mad at me anymore." Closing his eyes and taking a steadying breath, he readied himself to continue his charade, starting in surprise when she answered him in kind.

"I can never be truly angry with you, Kenshin... you know that." Her voice was next to his ear, it seemed, her words ghosting through the cracks of the doorway and telling him that she was now sitting directly in front of him. Only a thin barrier of wood separating them. "I just..." Kaoru sighed again, sagging against the solid mass in front of her and lifting a hand to brush longingly over the area she knew he himself rested against. "I'm sorry... I didn't want... I didn't mean..." Cursing her inability to voice what she really wished to tell him, she scratched her nails against the wood in frustration, fighting tears again and embarrassment.

"I know, little one... I know... but you shouldn't apologize. I'm the only one who should worry about that. You have never needed to apologize to me... you never will." _Because whatever wrong you could ever commit to me I would deserve. Even if you could do wrong by me._

"So... what do we do now? What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know... I just need some more time... with you near, if that is alright. I'll leave if you wish for me to." _Though it might kill me to be away from you any longer._

"Of course it's ok, Kenshin. I never wanted you to leave in the first place." _And I think maybe I understand... and I will wait a little longer... for you._

Swallowing with difficulty, he leaned back and carefully pulled on the door, making sure she was no longer resting against it before he opened it all the way. "So, will you eat now... Kaoru-dono?" The apology and pleading in his eyes killed any pain she would have felt, forcing her to accept this punishment for her actions and the flaw in her gift at having him back. Pushing aside the sorrow, she smiled for him, the way she had always smiled for him, and nodded.

"Hai... I am kind of hungry."

His own smile was full of relief and thanks as he lifted the tray next to him and handed it to her. "Arigato, you really need to eat more, especially if you wish to heal quickly."

Kaoru almost dropped the tray at his declaration, staring up at his rising figure with a gapping mouth. "Nani?"

"Just leave the dishes outside your room when you are done, Kaoru-dono. I will come back to get them later."

"You..." Kaoru watched as his smile never wavered, but there was a definite teasing light in his eyes as he turned away. Frowning again to keep the smile from breaking free, she found she couldn't contain the missing contentment welling inside of her. "Kenshin, wait." Clueless amethyst eyes found hers again, waiting patiently as she decided what she was going to say. "...thank you... for the flowers. They're my favorite." With no other word she closed the door, leaving him out in the hall with a growing smile on his face.

"I know, little one... they're mine too."

x

**Glossary**

**shishou -** teacher, master

**gomen nasai -** sorry

**kisama -** bastard (you, disrespectful)

**ano -** umm...

**dame -** don't, stop, no good; in this sense, I would think of it as "don't do this" , "please don't" that kind of stuff

**oyasumi nasai -** good night

A/N: *whimper* Well, how did I do? Did you like? Did you hate? I hope that I did not give too much away, and I hope that I did not make anybody hate the poor rurouni... I just hope that you will understand after you find out what has happened. Which is a lot, so please do not rush me... I still have to introduce Sano and Megumi again... as well as go back and introduce Misao to Kaoru... I just pray you will have patience with me, and know that this is going to be a long one. But... you already know that by now, don't you? Well, I will reveal more in the next chapter... a lot more, and I just want you to not forget the little hints I dropped in the last one, and I guess we'll see... Well... I hope so anyways... Please review and tell me how bad it was... or good... good would be good...


	12. A New Path

So, I wanted to address an issue right off the bat that way nobody will start to have funny thoughts again about this story... ahem... Kenshin calling Kaoru "little one," is still, for the most part, very much a habit for . I just really want to express my wish for patience, because this story is turning out to be way longer than I originally thought... I just really hope that it won't become boring for you as the readers, especially now that I have to go back and explain quite a bit of stuff... which is why I'm probably going to cut out a few long explanations. Thanx to all who have read and reviewed and I hope you like. Also, the beginning of this chapter may sound familiar to a small select few, but that's probably because you have seen it before... but don't worry... I fixed it...

Disclaimer: Nobody is mine... and he's fun to play with... XD

x

"I love you 'cause your deuces are wild, girl.

Like a double shot of love is so fine.

I been lovin' you since you was a child, girl.

'Cause you and me is two of a kind."

_Deuces Are Wild_ Aerosmith

x

Chapter 12: A New Path

**Nine and A Half Years Earlier; The Official End of the War**

Kenshin couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips as he walked steadily up the mountain path to the waterfall. The war was over, they had won, and he was home... what more could he ask for? Except for a smile from his Kaoru.

Coming back to the small house, he had found his master sitting outside, looking for all the world like he was waiting for him to show. Before he could even ask, the large man was pointing him in the direction of the waterfall, telling him that she was training by herself. Working on a new style that took the teachings of protecting others from Hiten and going further with it. A non-killing technique, he said. Katsujin-ken. The ex-hitokiri had mixed emotions over the idea.

It was such a naive and innocent thought, to practice something that restrained from killing. How could one successfully protect without essentially killing in the end? How would it work if one were facing an adversary that would not quit; would not be conquered? What if one had to kill so as not to be killed? For if one were to die... then so would the person or persons that they were trying to protect. There were so many flaws, and he worried that his Kaoru would be hurt in the process of holding onto such an idea. But he also would rather die himself then see her have to take a life... to deal with the shame and guilt that went with it. He knew that she would take it hard, if that unlikely event were to happen. She was so sweet and loving, so embracing of life and giving in nature. It would break her.

In the end it elated him that she would take such a feat upon herself. To revolutionize the way of the sword, to make it purely defensive and protective. Assuring that no life would be snuffed under the swing of her blade and all who followed in her teaching. Sighing, he reminded himself that she was just beginning... it took longer than just two years for someone to create a whole new style of swordplay.

Coming upon her small figure sitting cross-legged on the grass next to a tree, he watched in amusement as she jotted down several symbols in a large, leather bound book in her lap. At nine she was gangly, long legs poking out further than seemingly necessary for her slight body, her forearms braced on her thighs as she meticulously worked out each kanji on the mostly full page. Her upper body was thin and straight, her gi hanging loosely about her and dragging the sleeves on the ground. Chuckling softly, he caught the aggravated look that pouted her lips and drew her brows together, telling him of her frustration over the words she was using. Confused but pleased, he started forward to sit beside her, then stopped when she dropped the pen in favor of the bokken at her side.

Curiously he contemplated her as she swung the wooden sword around, her backside still planted firmly on the ground. Her movements were hesitant, however, unsure, and she repeated the same step several times; experimentally adjusting the angle, twisting the point, rotating her wrist, or switching her grasp. Then, as if it were the answer to all of her questions, she dropped the training weapon with a sound of delightful insight and returned to the pen and the book. Almost furiously possessed she scribbled the notes, her arm moving frantically with the motion of her hand. Smiling at her enthusiasm, but wondering what in the world she was up to, Kenshin stalked silently over to her, leaning lightly against the tree and peering closely over her shoulder.

The notes were, at first glance, unorganized; an unplanned mess of symbols and small, quick, figure drawings. After a few dizzying seconds, his eyes adjusted to the swirl of lines and he found the pattern, and the brilliance in it. Obviously she was making note of her discoveries, writing down in the best way that she knew how the steps to her first, rudimentary kata. Each few signs were accompanied by a picture, the angle and stance accentuated in the harried strokes to show exactly what she wanted at that moment. The drawings themselves were decent, good enough to get the point across, but they were not the best in the world. Who was he to criticize, though, when his writing skills were horrible. He didn't even want to contemplate what his drawing skills would be like.

Minutes passed as he observed, unnoticed, her hasty marks, the next phase slowly coming into focus before his eyes. Wide eyed he let his suddenly blank mind awe over the utter genius of this child. Here she was, at the tender age of nine, creating... **creating**... a completely new form. Going over every swing, every block, every step with a precision that many didn't have... ever. Her willpower and stubborn nature no doubt had a hand in it, for she was so very committed and focused that she didn't even know that he was standing just behind her, his nose next to her ear.

When she stopped again, the pen tapping steadily against the stack of paper with the delicate twitch of her fingers, her chin resting in her free hand, Kenshin moved further forward, his left hand coming up to brace lightly on her shoulder.

"So what's next, my little one?"

Used to the deeper timber of Hiko, and not expecting her Kenshin to be home let alone sneaking up behind her in such a way, Kaoru couldn't help the small shriek that issued from her lips as she jumped roughly against his hand. Turning her head sharply, her heart still pounding a hundred miles a minute, she shrieked again when she came into contact with his face, his fine hair tickling her nose and cheek. This time the noise was one of delight.

"Kenshin!"

Forgetting everything else but the man behind her, Kaoru launched herself backwards, twisting in the process so that she slammed headlong into his chest, her arms wrapping around him. Overbalanced by her sudden enthusiasm, Kenshin toppled backwards, automatically holding onto her so that she would not be hurt by the fall. Kaoru seemed more than content to just hold on, resting finally on top of him and gazing happily up at his bewildered face from her vantage at his chest, her arms pulling up to fold under her chin as she giggled in innocent glee.

"Oro?"

Kaoru froze at the noise, a bemused expression clouding her eyes and parting her lips. Then she burst out laughing, the cute sound too much for her to take out of the deadly form of her Kenshin.

"What... was... that?"

Kenshin's own expression fought between delight over her laughter and grumpiness that she was making fun of him. This only caused her to chuckle harder, however, especially when he started to mumble petulantly about Hiko and his never ending sarcastic rundown over the word.

"Iie," she giggled breathlessly, her joyful outburst finally tapering to a close, "I like it."

A smile crossed his face at this declaration, happy that she wasn't going to make fun of him for the silly word he couldn't even remember picking up. Somewhere along the line he had heard it from someone, and he had a sneaking suspicion that it might have been his own father. It kind of made him happy in a way, knowing that he might have a similar habit to share with his late father. Shaking his head away from wandering thoughts, he refocused his attention to the girl now crawling off of him.

"So... what _are_ you doing, little one?"

An embarrassed blush stole over her features and the girl shyly picked up her pen and notebook again, plopping them back into her lap and half closing the pages when he sat down beside her.

"I'm working on the last few forms of a kata."

"Really? Are you making up a new style then?" Kenshin couldn't help but tease her, watching in amusement as she wriggled uncomfortably under his gaze, her eyes trained on the ground before her.

"Hai." Lowly she voiced the affirmative reply, slightly afraid of what he would think about her non-killing technique. Would he think she was setting herself against him by doing this? Would he be angry with her? Would he think she hated him because she knew that he had killed, that he had been raised with a style that taught it was the only way? She really didn't want him to get the wrong idea. It was all for him...

"Well... do you need help?"

Wide sapphire eyes turned to him, an intense sense of hope and relief shining in their depths that surprised him. _Did she think I would be mad at her? _Kenshin laughed at himself, suddenly seeing it through her eyes. _Well, I am her sensei to start with... one that was teaching her a deadly killing technique... of course she would think that I might be angry with her._

"You would help me?"

"Of course, Kaoru. I would do anything for you."

Kaoru's smile widened, her heart leaping happily in her chest as her blush deepened. Leaning over, she gave him a quick half-hug before pulling away and propping her own weight up against his chest, her head leaning back on his shoulder.

"Well... I am having trouble with this stance. The way the sword is held makes movement a little awkward."

Peering closely over her shoulder again, Kenshin dipped his head into hers, bracing its weight gently on her skull as he contemplated the move. Inside his mind he blissfully rejoiced that his Kaoru was asking him to take part in the creation of something that would promptly find a special place of its own within his heart.

x

Kaoru giggled helplessly at the mess she had made in the kitchen, the disgruntled look on Hiko's face too much for her to take. It had been his idea in the first place to try and finally teach her how to cook. A feat he regularly took upon himself to try. When he would finally realize that it was no use, she didn't know, but it was almost worth the depression she felt at being hopeless to see his expressions while she attempted to burn his house down. Especially now that Kenshin was home, had been for the past six months, and he was laughing as well, brushing a hand through her hair in good-nature to knock some of the spices out of it. The action created a cloud of dust, unfortunately, which sent all three of them into a coughing fit, two of which was interspersed with heavy chuckles.

Kaoru reacted to the knock on the door first, her small body weaving between the two adults quickly. Still laughing happily, contentment working through her and wrapping her heart in a fluffy layer of bliss, she slid open the shoji with a bright smile and a cheerful welcome. One that died the instant she saw the man's face. It wasn't that she hated him particularly... no, for some reason or another she had found him to be a good man. What upset her was the knowledge that every time he came around it was only to take her Kenshin away.

Katsura's smile wavered at the sudden drop of the child's face, her azure eyes hardening and her bottom lip pouting with the tremble she was trying to suppress. With a mental sigh he realized that all he ever did was hurt this loving girl.

"Ohayo, Kaoru-san, is Himura-san available?"

A sudden indecision passed over her features, the lie she wished to tell showing plainly in her eyes. Resigned despair quickly replaced it as she realized that it would not matter what she wanted to say or do. The end result would be the same. Taking one deep breath, unwavering sapphire locked with warm brown as she nodded her head slowly. Kenshin would never deny his services to the country he had buried his soul for, even now after swearing to her and himself that he would never kill again.

"Hai, Katsura-sama, I will get him for you." And with a small bow his way she turned to reenter the house with the intent of doing something she would rather not, and Katsura felt pain at the knowledge.

Kaoru did not have far to go, for Kenshin had half followed her down the hall. The pressure of the familiar ki had alerted him ahead of time as to who it would be, so he had not been worried about her happily defenseless form bouncing off to answer. It actually made him smile that she had regained that innocence in the wake of her attack. That she could so easily trust herself in the care of others. Whether it was the solid loyalty and faith that she held for the two men in her life or the ability to only see the light in everyone, Kenshin didn't know for sure. Either truth was enough to make him watch her closer, to look out for her in the way that she wouldn't look out for herself. That trust just did not come natural for him, and he couldn't bring himself to not look for anything and everything that could be suspicious about the people near her. The last mistake he had made had almost cost her life. It would not be allowed again.

"Katsura-sama wishes to speak with you." The bowed head before him was enough to show him that she was not happy about this appearance, but was hiding it well. Nothing in her voice could be seen as anything but normal, if not too respectful... and it was the loudest call of hurt to his ears. Suppressing a sigh, Kenshin rubbed a hand over her head lightly, and thanked her for telling him. She was a strong girl, and she had survived worse. Whatever was going to happen she would be just as content with Hiko's presence as with his own. This had already been demonstrated with her constant use of "Tousan" when around him. Kenshin had actually felt slightly out of place lately. Except with her training, he had nothing to do, and Kaoru was beginning to talk about school. What would he do then? Hang around the house with his master all day? The thought alone was enough to make him cringe... and though he loved being with the girl, he needed to start seriously thinking about what he was going to do with the rest of his life. More importantly, what he was going to do to repent for all of the souls he had sent to the afterlife.

Hiko followed Kenshin as far as the kitchen door and watched the interlude between his two borders, the passing look of sadness on the older one and the dejected look of the younger. The boy had no idea what the girl was really hiding, and proved it by walking on by after only a brief consolation. Inside his mind the master swordsman cursed and rolled his eyes at the same time, wondering why he hadn't just beat some sense into the boy the moment he had came back with the blood covered form of a five year old. He certainly wasn't learning anything by himself. Uncrossing large arms, Hiko walked over to the ten year old, cupping a hand gently under her chin and lifting her lidded eyes to his. There were no tears on her cheeks and the set of her face spoke of no inner turmoil, only calm and a distant respect. When her bright eyes finally opened for him to see, however, he found them watery and wide with anguish.

"Why do you hide this from him, little dragon? Have you ever thought that it might do him some good to know the pain he puts you through?"

Kaoru was shaking her head before he finished, frantically denying his words with a determination only she controlled.

"I couldn't let him see, Tousan... He already has so much to deal with. Who am I to add to that?"

"Only 'his' by his own words."

"Hai, demo..." Kaoru looked over her shoulder at the two men in the doorway. "He is my responsibility, too."

Hiko grunted, dropping his hand back to his side before turning away. "It looks like you are taking better care of him than he is of you. I'm going to town." He followed up abruptly. "Make sure that idiot doesn't do something stupid while I'm gone."

Kaoru watched her adopted father walk out the back door through the kitchen, her mind returning to the present and what needed to be done at that moment. Kenshin and his guest would want tea for their conversation and with Hiko gone it was up to her to make it. Sending up a silent prayer to any god listening, she tiptoed back into the kitchen, warily eyeing the counters like they would explode in just her presence alone.

Everything was still covered in food and spices, the mess shouting out her inability to accomplish much of anything in the kitchen. With a determined scowl, Kaoru uncovered the tea pot to boil some water before setting to work on the catastrophe of earlier. It really didn't take much as they had not gotten far, except to burn some food that she could not even distinguish now in her father's soup pan. Rolling her eyes, she wiped her hands free of dish water before taking the pot off the stove, reminding herself several times to turn the burner off now that she was done with it. Carefully mapping out her strategy, she quietly ordered herself around the room, picking up the cups here and disposing them on the tea tray; counting out the tea leaves precisely instead of throwing a handful into the water. Soon she found herself humming, excited that she was actually doing something right, but trying to hold it in and not tempt disaster with her arrogance. Double checking everything on the tea tray, Kaoru let out a breath before hefting it and carrying it slowly into the neighboring room.

Katsura and Kenshin were both talking softly when she entered, the conversation cutting off without a hitch in her presence. There was a brief look of surprise on Kenshin's face at the tea tray in her grasp, but he quickly rid himself of it when her smile wavered in uncertainty. Instead he smiled in return, half rising to help her then settling again when she shot him a look of warning. Kneeling shakily beside the table Kaoru concentrated as hard as she could on doing everything the way her mother used to. It was a vague memory, but she thought she understood the basics of it and only hoped that she wouldn't offend Katsura by sloshing tea in his lap. Focused as she was she didn't notice the amused violet gaze grinning at the way she was unconsciously biting her lip.

"Arigato, Kaoru-san." Accepting the cup graciously, Katsura immediately raised it to his lips to take a sip, unaware of the tense expectance of the girl as she clutched the tea pot with both hands and tried to pour for Kenshin as well. There was no look of disgust on his face, however, and no tea was sprayed all over the table in shock, so she relaxed with a silent sigh. _If it is bad, at least he's polite enough not to show it._ In the end it was her Kenshin's response that brightened her day, knowing that he would understand her trepidation.

"Arigato, Kaoru, it was just what we needed." A grateful smile spread across his lips even as Katsura agreed with him, but Kaoru was no longer paying any attention to the visitor. Her pleased expression was only for the man that she cared about; for the only person whose opinion meant the world to her. Katsura watched with some amusement as the girl totally ignored him and for one brief moment his presence was forgotten about and he was unknowingly given the privilege to witness the true extent of their bond. The truly happy smile on the ex-hitokiri, which was enough to surprise him, and the cheerfully content expression on the girl, which only came with the red-head's praise over the tea. Smiling to himself, hiding the look behind his tea cup, Katsura thought he understood something even the other man did not.

From out of the silence came one low growl from the stomach of their hostess, Kaoru's face turning ten shades of red. A look of embarrassed horror banished the contentment of seconds before, and the other two tried hard not to chuckle.

"I think that means it's my turn." Kenshin, still laughing softly under his breath, stood from his seat, turning back to the kitchen with a small wink at Kaoru's anxious grin. Left alone with the job to entertain their guest while he was busy finding something for their lunch, Kaoru bit her lip. Turning blue eyes to the other man, she watched as he did the same, his eyes still laughing and open.

"The tea is very good, Kaoru-san, you will have to tell me what kind it is so I can have my own koishii make it for me some time."

"Oh... well..." Kaoru shrugged helplessly. "It's just regular green tea with some honey in it."

"Oh? And why the honey?"

"Kenshin likes it with honey." The answer was made in all honesty, unaware of how it would heighten the amusement of the man sitting beside her. Kenshin's return from the kitchen distracted their conversation momentarily as he sat down another bottle in front of Kaoru.

"You forgot the lemon for your own tea, Kaoru." With a quiet smile he left again through the door, a promise not to take too much longer drifting over his shoulder. Kaoru blushed again at her forgetfulness and sheepishly lifted the bottle to drop some of the sour liquid into her cup.

"It seems you are being taken care of well here, Kaoru-san." Katsura watched the ex-hitokiri leave with interest, his understanding of the situation becoming clearer to him as he nodded his head at the small gesture of awareness. _They both seem to be very much in tune with the other's wants and needs..._

"Hai, I love living here with my Tousan and Kenshin."

Katsura's smile widened at her adoption of not the one who had claimed her but the sword master instead... _this child is so very interesting._ "Have you thought about going to school now that the war has calmed down enough for the buildings to reopen?"

"Oh yes, Tousan says I can go at the beginning of the next year in April, but I have to start studying now so they can test me in to see what grade they should start me at. He said that if I study hard enough I might be able to get into a higher level than normal." The excitement in her eyes had him chuckling at her enthusiasm. She certainly looked like she could be a handful at times, but he imagined that light of energy was another attraction that kept the man in the other room enthralled with her.

"And do you have what you need to study?"

"Well, Tousan has a few things he used with Kenshin, but I've already learned all of it. Besides, he said that I might need more updated stuff since I'm going to have an actual qualified teacher. He said 'We don't want you turning out like that idiot'... or something like that."

Katsura choked on his tea, covering up his laughs with the harsh coughs that resulted in his inhalation of the liquid.

"Daijoubu ka?"

"Hai, hai." Waving off her concern, he caught his breath, sitting down the tea to keep from dumping it all over the floor. "I think I might be able to help you out there, if your two guardians wouldn't mind."

"Really? That would be great. Now that Kenshin is home, he could help me study too." There was such a happy glow about her, that Katsura couldn't help the falling of his own face. The fact that he was going to take her Kenshin away from her again almost harder now that he was truly getting to see her attachment to him.

"Well... surely Hiko-sama wouldn't mind helping you either." Carefully he supplied the alternative, sorry that he was going to have to make her use it at all.

Slowly the brightness left her eyes as she was reminded of why the man was there in the first place. Ducking her head from his scrutiny, Kaoru clenched her jaw at the sudden tremble of tears and anger.

"You're taking him away from me again, aren't you?" The words were level, a childish tremor working through them. With a sigh Katsura quietly agreed.

"I'm sorry, Kaoru-san, but there is one more thing that we need of him to do."

"Hai... and then there will be another... and another... and maybe one more... right?" Hard eyes found his and he watched her swallow thickly over the tears collecting at the corners of blue irises.

"This will be the last. I'm truly sorry that I have to ask it of him at all, but he is the only one who can accomplish it."

"He won't do it." Firmly she informed him, her belief of this fact evident in her entire demeanor. "Kenshin doesn't kill anymore. He doesn't even carry his sword with him... He won't do this for you... and I won't allow you to make him feel guilty by not."

"Kaoru-san, the skills of Himura Battosai are the only ones we can count on in this."

"But he's not the Battosai anymore!" Angrily she stood, shouting down at the older man before her, uncaring of the scene she was creating.

"Kaoru-san..."

"No! You don't understand! None of you people understand! He promised! He won't do that anymore! He doesn't want to anymore!" Tears finally falling down her cheeks, she sobbed over her last words. "Please… it's killing him."

"What's going on?" Hurrying back into the room, Kenshin stepped instantly to the girl, automatically wrapping a protective arm around her shoulders. "Kaoru?"

"Tell him you can't, Kenshin. Tell him that's not who you are anymore." Desperation wringing her heart and mind, Kaoru grabbed onto his shirt, tugging for emphasis and looking pleadingly up into his confused amethyst eyes. "Tell him, Kenshin."

The knowledge of what she spoke of slowly sank in, a disapproving look leveling on the man by the table as he gently guided her away. Once inside the kitchen, he sat her down again, patiently letting her cling to him when she would not let go. "Kaoru..."

"You can't go, Kenshin, you just can't." Burying her face in his shirt, clinging to the long lengths of his hair, she fought back the tears, not wanting him to know that the biggest motivator behind her words was her own selfish wish to keep him there. "They're going to ask you to be him again... they're going to want you to kill. That's what they always want from you. Just tell them no... please... Let them clean up their own mess this time."

Sighing he hugged her tighter, dropping his head down on top of hers and stealing a moment of comfort. "Kaoru... you know I have to listen... I can't just turn my back on a problem that may affect everyone... but I did promise... and you know it's more than that. I will never take another life... nor watch another die before me. This is a vow I have made before myself, you, and God. The only three that matter. Ok?"

_No, but I can't keep you, can I?_ "...As long as they understand..."

"I will make them understand." Gently pulling away, he smiled encouragingly. "Now, how about something to eat?"

x

Sitting down once more before the man who had asked him to kill time and time again, Kenshin leveled him with an unhappy look.

"I think it is time that you tell me why you are here."

"Is the girl ok?"

"Katsura-san..." Taking one slow breath, Kenshin looked down at the tea in his hands. "Kaoru is not the reason why you are here... and for now... I would appreciate if you did not bring it up to me again."

Nodding his head at the subtle warning, Katsura sat down his own cup and folded his hands in his lap. "Very well, Himura-san. The reason I am here is because we need you to retrieve someone for us."

"Retrieve?" Thrown completely off, Kenshin raised an eyebrow.

"Hai. The man is very dangerous and, suffice to say, we are incapable of handling him without the help of someone on his level... Namely, a hitokiri that has seen and performed tasks that he himself has accomplished."

"Like me."

"Of course."

A long pause followed before, "Who is it?"

"...Shishio Makoto, he... took your place as our shadow assassin after the fires of Kyoto."

"Yes, I remember." It was obvious he had seen and heard many things, as well as killed a few people that the current government did not wish to let the public know about. With such a liability loose... the results could be disastrous. _If things hadn't have happened the way that they did... this could have been me they wanted. But... some part of me already knew that when I signed up as a hitokiri._ "And all you want is a retrieval... nothing more."

"Yes...there are... certain pieces of information that we need to extract from him... so we do want him very much alive. All we need from you is to bring him back." Katsura reaffirmed the words himself, knowing before hand, and with the strong words from the little girl, that there would be no more killing for this man. "All we ask of you Himura-san, is that you help us protect this new, fragile peace we are finally establishing in our country."

"I understand." For a moment Kenshin thought over what he was being asked to do. In all actuality, he had created this problem. By becoming that hitokiri in the first place and then needing someone to replace him when it was apparent he was needed elsewhere, he was responsible. "Where can he be found?"

Letting out a long breath, Katsura shook his head. "We don't know. He is supposed to be... very much dead, but... his body disappeared afterwards, and many officers were found slaughtered."

"How do you know that it was even him?"

"There was only evidence of one person being there besides the officers themselves, and he used the blade we found on him, there was no mistaking its signature marks."

"So... you want me to find and retrieve a man that you are not even sure is alive?"

"Yes..."

Kenshin shook his head in disbelief. "There is only one thing, Katsura-san, finding people... is not my area of expertise. I was only ever used as a weapon."

"That is something that we have already thought about. You will be working with a member of the Oniwabanshu... the Okashira to be exact."

"And he has agreed to do this?" Slightly shocked by this piece of information, knowing that it was the Oniwabanshu that had worked so hard against them in the war, Kenshin couldn't help the question.

"Hai... they have always been the protectors of Kyoto and in a sense... our country, as well as the rest of us. The Okashira was actually more than ready to help in any way that he could. They are the best at finding and retrieving data, and will no doubt be a lot of help in your search. In a sense all you need to do is be there when they do find him. Unfortunately... we ask that you be there throughout their entire search... we do not want them alone outside of the country."

"You think that he has gone that far?"

Katsura nodded his head, sadly aware that this was the part that would hurt the child. "Yes, we have already asked them to search Japan... there is no sign of him so we have no choice but to go elsewhere."

Kenshin sat quietly for a long moment, thinking over the information and coming to a realization that pained him. "This could take years..."

"...Yes."

That meant he would be away from his Kaoru again... once again working for the government. Wanting to strike off on his own was a different story. That he wanted to find where his life was leading him, travel maybe, it still left him with the freedom of being able to come home to her whenever he felt like it... whenever he needed to. With this... doing this job for them... it meant he was once more on their time. He would have to accommodate every second of his free time around whatever was happening at that moment. It could very well be a long time before he ever saw her again.

"Himura-san... the government is funding this. You will have an almost limitless budget... and... they are not above giving breaks... if it comes to that. We all know the time this could very well take... and one of my own requirements in even allowing them access to ask you was that they will give you the time you need... both of you. The Okashira is in a situation not unlike yourself."

Confused Kenshin looked up, a question forming blatantly in his eyes.

"You will both be allowed time here, in Japan when it is needed... and since we are paying the bills..." Tentative of his next suggestion, very much aware of the warning he had been given, he carefully took a chance. "Any costs that you will accumulate to keep track of your personal lives will be taken care of as well…" Leaving that one out in the open he lifted his cup to take another sip of tea, watching the idea sink into the ex-hitokiri's violet eyes. A small smile twitched at that, the knowledge that he could still be in constant touch with his little one a small weight off of his chest. "Now, the Okashira has all of the information that you both will need. He is working on the problem at this very moment I suspect. For such a young man, he certainly is a workaholic." Shaking his head at the memory of his meeting with the tall ninja, Katsura cracked a wry smile. "He lives at the Aoi-ya, an inn on the other side of town. I told him to expect you tomorrow, if you agreed to help with this."

"And if I don't?"

"We will just have to hope that you do." Standing, Katsura bowed to the younger man before turning back to the door. Kenshin left him to take care of himself, his eyes drawn to the window as he stared at nothing in particular. Sighing, Katsura shut the door behind him, advancing slowly down the hall on his way out of the house. With everything he was he wished he could have found someone else to handle the problem... but there really was no one else. If he hadn't of come his superiors would have stepped over him and if Himura had not agreed to come they would have made a huge mistake. They would have angered the man, threatened the girl... and probably would have ended up, if not dead, then wishing they were.

The ignorant men could not understand the relationship that they shared, even as she was ten years his junior. As a man who had at one time wielded his sword in that dance of death, he understood that in the loving heart of that child the man who was once called the Hitokiri Battosai had found peace... and love. Any kind of joy that men like them could find, they held onto with the fierce grip of desperation. One did not question it, dissect it, or linger too long over its reasoning for acceptance. A person could only bathe in its light while it was there, and keep it for as long as they could. For someone to threaten to take it away prematurely... their wish for death and pain must be strong.

"Katsura-sama." Coming out the front door he found himself face to face with the girl dominating his thoughts. Looking down on her bowed head, he watched as she lifted sad eyes to face him directly. "I didn't mean to be so rude to you earlier, and I'm sorry that it made Kenshin mad at you."

Smiling reassuringly, he accepted the apology. "Do not worry, Kaoru-san, I understand. Himura-san does not like to see you unhappy, and I deserved to see a little of his scorn for upsetting you."

Kaoru shook her head, not allowing him to mislead the true blame from her. "It was my fault for reacting so rashly... I knew why you were here. I shouldn't have let my feelings affect either of you."

"Kaoru-san... your feelings are exactly what Himura-san needs. Do not hide them from him. The fact that you are so protective only shows that you truly care... and the caring of such a loving young woman is something all us warriors can only hope for. He is very lucky to have you."

Dropping her head to hide the embarrassed blush of her cheeks, Kaoru crossed her arms and disagreed. "Iie, Katsura-sama, you're wrong. I am only a child. What would I know about such things?" Letting known what had been buried deep in her heart since Kenshin had come home from the war, she couldn't help the bitterness in her words, the tears that shook her voice.

Placing a finger beneath her chin, he tilted her eyes back up to his. "A child in body and mind... maybe... but you have the heart and soul of a woman. In some part of his mind he sees this, Kaoru-san, and he reacts to it, whether you notice or not. It won't take long for him to see you fully; the way you want him to see you." Dropping his hand back to his side, he bowed to her and continued on his way. "Just be patient. All things happen in their own due time."

Gazing wonderingly after the man who was going to take her Kenshin away again, Kaoru couldn't help but feel thankful. The giving of hope in such a way to one who only ever offered it to others was a blessing she had never experienced before. Smiling to herself, she turned back to the house, finding her way into the room where her Kenshin still sat and seating herself beside him. The look he finally gave her when his eyes focused onto the attentive searching of her own was sad and apologetic, and she knew that he was going to leave. Battling back the urges inside of her to beg him to stay, she nodded her head and, swallowing the nervousness that suddenly pressed itself upon her, she slid off her own cushion to snuggle herself into his side. Arms wrapping around his middle she tilted her nose into the muscles of his chest. One low sigh lifted her cheek, his heartbeat a solid rhythm in her ear, and then his arm was holding her to him, his head once again resting on top of her own.

"This will be the last... I promise."

Opening her mouth to reply, she shook her head before closing it again, burrowing deeper against him instead. Amethyst eyes saddening at the lack of response, he hugged her tighter, swallowing against the pain in his throat.

"I promise, little one... I promise."

Biting her lip, she knew that she needed to answer... to make it better, and let him believe that she didn't mind... that she understood and would accept his words. "... That's three times you've promised... I'll hold you to it."

"Hai..." Relieved by the only slightly shaky words, he relaxed against her, closing his eyes and letting out a breath that had tightened his chest with emotion. "I believe you."

"... When are you leaving?"

"I don't know, little one... it could be a while."

"Not tomorrow then?"

"No." Kenshin smiled softly at the question, knowing she was thinking about the last time he had had to leave her. "Not tomorrow."

"Good."

Chuckling he hugged her a little tighter. "So... what would you like to do with the rest of our day?"

"Could..." Biting her lip nervously, she secured her hold on his shirt again. "... could we stay like this... just for a while longer?"

Confused by the request, wondering why such an energetic girl would wish to just sit there and do nothing, he lifted his head from hers to try and search her face. "Is that really what you want to do?"

"...Hai... if that's ok?"

Shrugging his shoulders, he laid his cheek back down on the silk of her hair. "If you like." It was actually quite comfortable anyway, and it had been awhile since she had let him hold her like this. Closing his eyes he sighed again in contentment, letting the warmth fill him for the moment, focusing on the way she snuggled into him and not on the things that would soon take him away from her…

Hours later Hiko found them that way, the girl sleeping heavily against the boy as he dozed quietly, his arms still wrapped loosely around her.

x

Tilting his head back, Kenshin ran over the details once again... _Where could he be?_ He knew it technically wasn't his job to find the man, but he couldn't help but feel a slight pressure to help, to do something... to get it over with so that he could focus on the more important things... It didn't help that the Okashira didn't quite trust him yet, either... but then again, working with the same man who had slaughtered many of the warriers fighting on his side... it could create a little bit of a dilemma. For both of them. It wasn't like the man was very open or even talkative to begin with... not that he was either... They certainly had a communication problem going on.

Then there was the girl. It had surprised him at first, as she was around his Kaoru's age, and she was a snoopy one. Always trying to eavesdrop on their meetings and find out what was going on. Most of the time it was the Okashira himself that would have to escort her out. With a heavy sigh and a look that was the only real show of normal emotion that would cross his face, he would stand up, walk over to her hiding spot and carefully pull her down... or out, or up... There was a certain tenderness about his actions towards her, and it was with that witnessing that Kenshin had first realized what Katsura had been talking about. This was his joy... his peace... and boy was she the exact opposite of him; bouncy and talkative, energetic and playful... but then... Kaoru was the same way compared to himself. She was so innocent and pure while he... he was stained and... and... so unworthy of being this close to her.

Looking down at her striding form next to him, he took in her appearance. The jeans and the short-sleeved shirt she was wearing, the high pony tail her hair trailed down from, how her height was getting closer and closer to his own. At the end of April it was getting warmer, the sun closer but not yet unforgiving, bathing them in a comfortable heat that seemed to find the whole town of Kyoto in a good mood. Not that any of them came close to him and his ward. Their eyes found the scar on his cheek and the red hair on his head first, shooing away children from his path and whispering quietly behind his back. It was something that he was used to by now, but having his Kaoru suddenly caught in the middle of it was enough to make him uneasy and question whether or not it was a good idea to bring her at all.

Allowing her in town was largely forbidden by both himself and Hiko. Not that she minded that much since her own small experience had been tainted by her kidnapping. Now that she was getting older, though, and she was wanting to go to school, she was going to have to get used to the idea, and if his plan worked at all it would be easier for her to become comfortable if she had someone who could show her around. It sill brought about a small fear knowing that many people would now connect her to him, though. Enough of a fear to have him curling his hand around her own in reassurance…

"Kenshin... do they always stare like this?" Kaoru shot another look at a couple of older men blatantly pointing at them, a sneer on one face while the other held only fear.

"They won't for just you, little one... it's me they're staring at. Don't worry." Wanting to make himself believe that as well as her, he smiled, his hand squeezing hers briefly before walking on by the stopped onlookers on the corner. He didn't want to tell her that while they did stare when he walked by, it had become considerably less since his constant traversing of this area for the past few weeks. That they were all staring once again probably did have a lot to do with her... but still only because she was with him.

"They shouldn't... it's rude." Sticking her tongue out a group of younger kids pointing at her and whispering behind their hands, she watched as their eyes widened and they only continued to stare harder. Huffing out a breath in irritation, she turned back to stare determinedly at the path they were walking on. Hiding the smile that lit his eyes, Kenshin let go of her hand to wrap his arm around her shoulders instead.

"Maybe they're just curious, little one... 'What is that cute little girl doing with that red-headed old man anyway?'" Dropping his voice to a conspiring whisper, he leaned his head close to hers to imitate what many of the town's folk were doing around them.

Kaoru snorted, her arms crossing as she lifted an eyebrow in his direction. "You're not old and I'm not little... or cute... and maybe they should get out more if they think that's anything interesting."

Amused with her declaration, he laughed, catching the attention of even more of the people they were passing. "Ok, not 'little' then."

_But cute?_ Noticing he did not touch on the other denial she had made, she waited a moment, turning over his words in her mind before letting a smile curve her face.

At the door of the Aoi-ya Kaoru watched as he politely knocked, a small shyness forcing its way inside of her and causing her to hide slightly behind him. It wasn't that she feared anybody, because Kenshin was with her after all, but she had never talked to anybody other than the three men who really knew about her. Plus she was still a little confused as to why she was there at all. Kenshin never invited her to go into town with him, and to actually want her to go to an important meeting, she was just a little suspicious as to what was going on.

When the door finally opened it was to a girl that was a few years younger than Kenshin, her dark hair pulled back into a bun and the clean cut of her bangs hanging just above the lashes of her bright tan eyes.

"Konnichi wa, Omasu-san, is Shinomori-san here?" It was agreed upon before hand that it should look more like a friendly calling with no mention of what was really going on heard by the public. There was no need to alert anyone as to the true meanings of his visits, especially if it would make anyone feel any less safe in the new era.

"Hai, Himura-san, he is with Misao-chan in the training hall."

Kaoru cautiously peeked around the side of Kenshin's shoulder at the older girl in the doorway, innocently in awe over how pretty she was. When she caught her eye she openly stared, unsure of what was proper to do in the meeting of a stranger and possible new friend. When the teenage ninja smiled sweetly and leaned to the side to get a better look at her, Kaoru couldn't help the twitch of her own lips in response.

"I didn't know you were going to bring someone with you today, Himura-san."

"Gomen nasai, I had hoped that it would not be a problem. Kaoru is mostly by herself when I come here, and I was thinking that if Shinomori-san wouldn't mind, I would like to see how she got along with Misao-san."

Eyes lighting with insight, Omasu nodded her head enthusiastically. "That's a wonderful idea, Himura-san. I'm sure it will help to keep them both entertained while you are talking with Aoshi-san." Turning to Kaoru, Omasu bowed slightly. "Welcome to the Aoi-ya, Kaoru-chan, I hope you will enjoy yourself today."

"Arigato, Omasu-san." Stepping out with a little more confidence, Kaoru bowed her head at the other girl, her smile widening when she felt Kenshin's arm wrap back around her to lead her inside. Looking around in wonder at the wooden building, the beautiful decorations, and the quick glances at the other members of the Oniwabanshu, Kaoru couldn't help but feel overwhelmed and impressed. The place was orderly yet comfortable, like a home away from home, and the addition of a few modern aspects helped to keep it up to date with the rest of the competition nearby.

When finally they arrived at the training hall she could hear the light pounding of feet, the louder thunks of metal in wood and the insistent instruction of a monotonous male voice. The opening of the door found her staring at the tall form of a man standing rigidly on one side of the room, the small form of a girl about her own age bouncing around the floor and throwing kunai at targets strategically placed along the walls. The way she was dressed was weird in the eyes of the small, samurai girl. The shorts and tighter gi of the ninja making it easier for much more furtive and quick movements, the long braid that whipped around the little girl's legs seeming to almost tangle before shooting away in another direction with her actions. What really made her smile, however, was the aquamarine eyes that shouted out a playfulness and joy of living; of her enthusiasm at being able to train in such a way, her eagerness when she responded in her breathless voice to any suggestions made by the older man. Something in those eyes called to a kinship inside of Kaoru and she knew that she immediately liked her, and hoped that the girl would feel the same way.

When the taller man sharply called a halt to the little ball of energy, she bounded over to his side, looking for all the world like she was waiting for some form of praise, like that of an attention hungry pet. One, long-fingered hand gave that praise to her, rubbing over her head affectionately and dragging up a small smile just for her. In return the girl grinned happily, her arms wrapping around him for a brief hug before turning at his urging to stand in front of him and face the two guests watching from the doorway.

"Konnichi wa, Himura-san, is it that time already?"

"Not quite. I apologize for being so early, but I wanted someone to meet your Misao-san." Urging Kaoru to step up beside him instead of hide behind him like she was wanting to do, he encouragingly squeezed her hand and watched as she bowed politely to the two across from them. "This is my master's daughter, Kamiya Kaoru, and since she is mostly alone when I come here I thought she could keep Misao-san company."

One dark brow raised in question. "Your master's daughter? I was not aware he had any children" As well informed as the Oniwabanshu was it would be a hard thing to convince their leader to believe the lie. Kenshin could only hope that he would leave it alone.

"He did not think it would be wise if she carried the same name."

"Aah." Letting it slide at the warning look in the other man's eyes, Aoshi instead put a hand on the shoulder of the girl in front of him. "Well, Kamiya-san, I would like you to meet Makimachi Misao, the youngest member of our Kyoto Oniwabanshu." Politely Misao bowed to the other girl, the grin that she turned back to her when she lifted her head earning a shy smile in return. Bounding forward out from under the man's hands, she snatched at Kaoru's free hand and excitedly pulled her towards the door.

"Let's go, Kaoru-chan! I'm going to show you around!"

Uncertainly Kaoru stopped when her arm pulled sharply against Kenshin's, her fingers refusing to let go. Looking back questioningly into amethyst eyes she found only encouragement and no sign of worry or fear.

"It's ok, little one." Catching himself too late, he shot a side look at the other man, before focusing back at the torn blue eyes of his Kaoru. "You'll be fine, Kaoru."

Smiling slowly, Kaoru let go and allowed the smaller girl to pull her out of the hall, giggling helplessly at the energy she was showing and the string of information that was pouring from her mouth.

"Forgive my curiosity, Battosai, but who is this girl and why have you brought her here?" Ice blue eyes suspicious and hard, Aoshi stared across the training floor with a look that screamed his distrust over the situation.

"Shinomori-san... Kaoru is here because of a number of reasons, the main one being that your Misao-san keeps interrupting our meetings with her own curiosity and I feel like we don't get much accomplished with her presence constantly demanding both of our time. And... I think that you will agree, that the faster this gets done the better... because I really don't want to spend more time than necessary on this when I have better things to do." Looking away he let out a heavy breath. "And I have already explained who she is."

Studying the expression on the face of the hitokiri, the Okashira decided to drop the matter for now, realizing that he was right about one thing. Misao was taking up a lot of their time with her persistence and they really needed a day or two without her distraction. Looking away from the amethyst of the other, he walked out the open door behind him, no further words passing between them as he knew he would follow.

x

"Kaoru-chan, are you going to school next spring? Would you like to study together?"

Kaoru smiled at the energy of the other girl, knowing by now that her method of two questions in one phrase was a normalcy and not to let it through her off. After being drug around the entire premises and shown every hiding spot and secret entrance and exit, Kaoru was almost worn out, but the younger girl she was with didn't even seem to be winded. Now she was wanting to change activities once again. What with training in the hall together, which she had found fun and informative; to stealing food from the kitchens, which she had been loath to do since she was new here; everything seemed so erratic and unplanned that she wondered if the girl was either mad or entirely genius. So when she pulled out the study plans that she used, Kaoru was beginning to believe that it was the latter of the two.

"Hai, Tousan says I can go, but I don't think I've gotten this far." Looking with wide eyes at the sheets of algebra on top of the stack, she picked one up and tried not to be confused with the lines of numbers and symbols.

"Oh, that's fine, because this is where Gramps says he wants me to be by the end of the summer, so I haven't really gotten this far either." Laughing at the expression of relief on Kaoru's face, Misao dug to the bottom, scattering papers everywhere in the small study and triumphantly producing a folder from somewhere along the middle. "Here's where I am, and it doesn't matter if you're behind or not. It won't hurt me any to go back and review. Most of it shoots out the other ear anyway, the way Gramps drones on." Making a show of mocking the old man, she reduced Kaoru to a pile of giggles in a minute, her impression ridiculous in every way. "He's not that bad, I guess, but I think he gets bored himself." Giggling, Misao bent down to help Kaoru pick up the loose papers. "Now, how 'bout we go and see what our boys are up to?"

"But... don't you want to study?" Confused, Kaoru straightened the pile on the desk, tilting her head slightly to the side.

"Oh, we can do that later. Besides, don't you want to see your Himura-san? I thought maybe you would be curious to see what they're up to."

"Hai, demo... isn't that supposed to be... um, secret or something?"

"Yeah, but not from us silly." Grabbing her hand Misao darted out the door, dragging her once again down the hallway toward the other side of the building. "They won't mind."

Two minutes later.

"Then why are we hiding?" Whispering urgently, Kaoru leveled a look at the smaller girl who blinked innocently and lifted a finger to her lips.

"That way they won't get into trouble because we know. If others found out that we know what they know, and knowing what they know, we could get them into big trouble just for being allowed to know. This way we're protecting them from themselves." Smiling cheerfully at her reasoning, Misao ducked further forward under the floorboards, walking on the balls of her feet and the tips of her fingers. Studying the way she moved, noticing the absence of noise, Kaoru mocked the stance, sliding after just as quietly.

"...know he took a boat to China, after getting treatment he went to Russia, catching a flight there to Germany... but, that wasn't the only flight on record. He bought four more tickets to Mexico, Korea, Australia and America, each two on separate sides of the world. It doesn't make sense to go to any of them, he has no friends that we are aware of and the only one of the five that happily takes travelers is the Americas."

"Yes, but in his condition his first priority would be to seek out a better treatment."

"So?"

"So maybe he didn't just go to one... maybe he went to all of them."

"... you think he isn't alone?"

"As wounded as he is, I think it would be almost impossible for him to have fought his own way out of captivity and then travel so far. He has to be accompanied by someone... maybe not just one either, maybe two. One to treat him and another to protect them, to make the flights and to throw us off."

"That still doesn't explain how he has gone to all of these places at one time."

"Just because the tickets are bought for a certain date does not mean you have to use them. If they..." There was a pause, then a sigh. A longer pause...

Hearing the floorboard creak above them, Kaoru jerked urgently on Misao's arm, a thought coming abruptly to mind at the silence that ensued. _Kenshin can detect ki._ Mouthing the words to the girl she saw the light practically come on above her head.

"So that's how they always know."

A definite knock sounded directly above them, followed by the unamused voice of the taller man. "Will you two come out of there please."

Biting her lip in sudden fear, Kaoru turned to crawl back out from under the building, the younger girl following seemingly not bothered by the fact that they were about to get into trouble. Climbing out slowly they both turned to find the door open and waiting for them, the Okashira standing with his arms crossed while Kenshin sat in the background staring at the floor, his face shadowed by the length of his bangs. Obediently lining up before the two, Kaoru immediately dropped her head, shame filling her at getting into trouble so quickly and dishonoring her Kenshin with such disgraceful actions in the process. She would be lucky if they let her come back at all.

"You two should know better than to eavesdrop on a meeting that does not concern you. If you were meant to know then you would be told. Misao... no more of this sneaking around. Do you understand? And you, Kamiya-san, I would think you would have better manners in a house that you are only visiting."

Head drooping lower, she stole a glance at her Kenshin, wondering what kind of a talking to she was going to receive when they left. Instead of the disapproving glare she imagined he would be sharing with that of the ninja before her, she found him fighting not to smile, his eyes closed as he battled off the mirth that seemed to be building within him. Lips twitching in response to his, her smile broke free like it always did when she caught him smiling, that carefree happiness he rarely showed anymore something she loved and cherished to the fullest.

"You think this funny, Kamiya-san?"

Eyes darting up to the raised eyebrows of the other man, she cleared her throat nervously before bowing her head again in contrition. "No, Shinomori-san... I feel bad that I have been so disgraceful to you in your home and brought shame to the kindness you have shown by allowing me to accompanying my shishou here because of my own loneliness... and what's worse, I have dragged your Misao-san along with me in my curiosity. My heart is sorrowful that I have been such a bad example of a house guest on my first day meeting what I had hoped would be my new friends. Gomen nasai." Bowing lower she waited for his response, the chocking noise of the girl beside her ignored in hopes that he wouldn't guess it had been the other way around when they had decided to spy on them. When he snorted in irritation her heart dropped into her stomach.

"I suppose you think that I am ignorant enough to believe such a falsehood? I have no doubt that Misao was the one who pulled you along as she would be the only one who would know where we were going to be, and where to hide in her own home. That you would lie outright to me says you have no respect for my position or intelligence. That disappoints me, Kamiya-san... your _shishou_..." Turning to level a look over his shoulder. "has been lenient in his training when it comes to judging a situation, I see."

Catching the look of outrage that spread quickly across Kaoru's face, Kenshin stood with a practiced ease, stepping over to stop the coming storm before it blew up in the other man's face. "That will be enough, Shinomori-san. I think they have been properly punished and will no doubt think twice about interfering next time." Gently turning the girl away to the door, he proceeded to lead her out, talking steadily into the silence. "Our meeting is over, no doubt, so I will be back tomorrow at the normal time."

"Maybe next time your student will have a better sense of respect for others, Battosai."

Spine snapping straight, shoulders squaring in indignation, Kaoru froze in place, ignoring the pressure of the arm wrapped around her. Turning angrily, eyes snapping in fury, she stomped back into the room, shrugging off the hand that threatened to restrain her. "Shut up." Voice quiet and level, she met the ice blue irises with the raging ocean of her own. "Just shut up. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Kaoru..."

"No! He keeps blabbing on about respect and manners, of honor and disappointment... well I'm disappointed! I had thought the person that trained Misao-chan would be a lot less shallow than you! I had thought you would be someone to look up to like my Kenshin, someone honorable and... and... un-ignorant! But you're just like everybody else! Like those that ordered him around... like those stupid people that point and stare in the streets! You still think of him as the Hitokiri Battosai, but you're wrong! That's not who he is! It's not..." Tears falling freely in frustration and anger, she hung her head so that her bangs covered them, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing he had upset her so badly. "All day I have listened to Misao-chan praise you. 'Aoshi-sama was a great warrior in the war...' she said. 'He helped many and worked hard to protect those under his care.' I was in awe... realizing that there are many others that are like my Kenshin, self-sacrificing and courageous. I thought maybe you would understand what it was like for him, but I guess _I_ was wrong. You're just like them... and I _hate_ you." Twisting away hurriedly before the sobs took over, Kaoru ran out the door, dodging past the worried stance of her Kenshin and heading for the only place she had felt truly comfortable and welcome all day.

"Kaoru-chan?" Stoic eyes turning to the smaller girl beside him, he felt his heart clench when her own gaze locked with his, the swimming aquamarine screaming her own hurt. "Aoshi-sama..." Indecision tore at her, and she took a half step towards him, her hand reaching for his own. Darting a glance to the red-headed man in the doorway she paused, watching his eyes close and his chest heave on a sigh. _The Hitokiri Battosai...? Belongs to Kaoru-chan...? _Realization dawning, she took a step away from Aoshi and to the door. _She's just like me... protective and... she loves him like I love Aoshi-sama._ Dropping her hand to her side, she pulled at the tip of her braid in thought, creasing her brows and focusing again on the man she looked up to. "I never... I thought..." Shaking her head, she ran to the door, stopping in front of the other man and bowing in apology. "Gomen nasai, Himura-san, I didn't mean to get Kaoru-chan in trouble." Bolting out the door before he could respond she followed after the other girl, confused as to why her Aoshi-sama would say such hurtful things when Kaoru had actually stuck up for her and taken the blame for her mistake. _He never said such things to me. I thought he found it amusing. I only wanted to see his smile... as small as it is. He was always gentle before. What happened to make him change?_

"It is apparent to me, Okashira, that it was a mistake to bring my Kaoru here and submit her to your careless tongue." Eyes hidden from view, only the rough sound of his voice and unguarded words told of his emotion. "You can rest assure that she will not be coming back tomorrow... and it would probably be best if I did not either. We will meet again in a few days... when _I_ judge it best. I trust that you will make sure that your Misao-san does not interfere again. Ittekimasu." Walking with a catlike grace, like a stalking predator slipping away, Kenshin made after the two girls, leaving behind the stoic man to stare at the empty doorway.

Finding the two in the vast training hall, he stopped to watch as Misao slowly approached the slumped back of the quiet form of his Kaoru. Hesitant and unsure, she snuck up behind her, hands twisting together and her teeth chewing on an end of hair that fell in her face.

"Kaoru-chan?" A small sigh escaped the older girl, the lack of surprise alerting her that she had already known she was there. "I'm so sorry, Kaoru-chan." Launching forward she wrapped her arms around her from behind, hugging the other girl fiercely and pleading for forgiveness. "I'm sure he didn't mean to say such things, but... I'm sorry. That was so mean of him. He should have known better."

"It's not your fault, Misao-chan. I let my anger get the best of me again and I really shouldn't have been so rude. It's just... I'm tired of people looking only at his past. They don't know him. So what makes them think they can judge so quickly?"

"You cannot change everything, little one."

Misao jumped guiltily at the voice of the shorter man, lowering her eyes away from him and watching instead as Kaoru wiped angrily at the tears still present on her face. Following the silent progressing of his footsteps, he stopped when he was next to them, offering a hand to Kaoru and helping her up.

"I'm sorry, Kenshin." Allowing her to wrap small arms around his waist, he briefly returned the gesture.

"...Let's just go home." Nodding against him, she let him turn them both back toward the door, stopping when the small girl she had hoped to be friends with jumped in their way.

"Will... Kaoru-chan be coming back tomorrow?"

Looking into hopeful eyes, Kenshin found it hard to say no to the spunky girl, but when the doorway darkened with another shadow, his own gaze hardened as he turned it away. "No, she won't." Letting go when Kaoru pulled, he watched her hug the girl, a whispered goodbye trading between them before she reattached herself to him, her wariness of the ninja apparent in that action. Walking her to the door once again, he kept his eyes locked with that of Aoshi's, a warning passing between them.

"Himura-san..." Freezing on the walkway behind the other man, Kenshin waited for him to finish, his anger keeping him from turning back around. "Misao would like Kamiya-san to return with you in a day or two... and I... would not have a problem with it if she wished to come back."

A delighted squeal rent the air from the small ninja, but Kenshin frowned suspiciously over the invitation. "...I will think about it." Leading them both out to the road home, his grip was tighter than necessary around the girl beside him. Glaring at the people they passed instead of ignoring them like before, his anger peaked at his delusion in thinking he could trust anyone but himself and Hiko to be near her.

"That was nice of him to apologize." Kaoru walked happily along next to him, ignoring the look of irritation on his face and the way he snapped his head around to stare in disbelief. "Misao-chan wanted to study for exams together. I'm kind of excited to see how far ahead of me she is. That'll make it more of a challenge to catch up. Do you think we could test into the same grade?" Looking up expectantly, she smiled, her chin leaning into his shoulder as she waited. "It would be nice to have someone I know in class... since I can't have you there."

Shock froze the irritation in his mind and he stared for several seconds before shaking free the daze. Grinning finally at the light in her eyes, he realized with only a hint of sadness that she was growing up. Soon she would no longer need him to look out for her so closely. "I think you'll be fine either way, little one... In fact... I'd hate to be on the receiving end of your sharp tongue." Thinking of the way she had spoken to Aoshi, he laughed. "I don't think Shinomori-san knew exactly how to take your little speech. Especially since you tried to take the blame fully on yourself. Did Hiko-sama teach you how to speak like that?" Raising an eyebrow in question he watched with surprise as a sly grin tilted her cheeks.

"Kinda. It sure works when I get into trouble with him. He likes it when you humble yourself before him and make him feel superior. I think it's the whole "master" thing." Shrugging her shoulders, she turned her head to smile at what looked like the same group of kids they had passed on their way there, her free hand lifting to wave cheerfully, prompting both to laugh when their faces dropped in confusion. "Besides, I had to do something, especially after you made me laugh."

"_I_ made you laugh?" Rubbing the spot where she poked him in the ribs, he reached over to tug on her hair. "I think you were doing a fine job by yourself. I didn't even look at you."

"Yeah, because you were trying not to laugh. You looked so funny, I couldn't help it." Laughing at the grumpy set of his face, she dropped his hand to attack him with both of hers, tickling him into admitting it.

"Hey!" Dodging away from her, he back-walked as she followed, her giggles filling the air and making him laugh in response. "That's not fair!" Running only slightly faster than her, making sure that they were on even ground, he turned to put a little more distance between them, to tease her for not being quick enough, when she shocked him by jumping on his back. Stumbling forward, unprepared for such an action, he automatically reached to steady her, her arms circling his neck as she braced her weight on his hip bones. "Orro."

Giggles still vibrating her chest, she leaned over his shoulder to smack an over-exaggerated kiss on his cheek. "I win. Now you have to carry me home."

"Orrorro." Mumbling under his breath petulantly, he shook his head and shifted her weight. "Fine... but you have to carry me next time."

"You wish."

Laying her head on his, she closed her eyes in contentment, both warm and happy and unaware of the bewildered stares of the people around them.

x

**Glossary**

**katsujin-ken -** swords that give life

**satsujin-ken -** swords that give death

**koishii -** beloved, darling, wanted

**konnichi wa -** good afternoon/ good day/ Hello! (After 10 am)

**ittekimasu -** goodbye (I'll be back) good God it's the Terminator XD

A/N: Ok, so... I wanted to point out a few things to give you some brain food... firstly: Aoshi being kind of an asshole... which I didn't really mean to do originally but it kinda made sense, especially since it is so close to the end of the war and they did fight on different sides... that and the fact that there are a lot of people who will only see Kenshin as the Battosai, and fear and hate him as only that when it happened so very recently. So, Aoshi being suspicious of Kaoru was a given, and taking out any kind of anger and frustration on her was a way of showing he was not happy with either of their presences...

Ok, now, secondly: Kenshin is not heartless towards Kaoru... in the sense that he keeps leaving her behind without a real thought to what it is doing to her... he just doesn't truly comprehend her feelings for him, or the hurt that he keeps causing by leaving her. His feelings for her, in his mind, are always one-sided. He believes that the relationship they share is more his need for her and not the other way around... that he needs her and that she, in her childish mind and heart, her innocence and the love that she has for Hiko, does not truly need him... she has a home, a new father, a life, even a sword style she is creating, soon she will have school, friends... possibly boyfriends... and with all of this in her life, he is only a background comfort, something she has grown with and enjoys when is there but will grow out of eventually... this thought hurts him, and while he wishes to stay with her, he acknowledges the fact that he might have to find a life away from her, that when she finally forgets about him, decides she does not need him anymore, he will have to live alone... That he is so ignorant to her feelings is partly his fault, but it is a shared fault since she herself does not let it show.

One last thing (I hope): Katsura talking to Kaoru and noticing the love they both have for each other, but neither noticing it truly. He is an outside viewer... like how it is easy for a person not involved to pick out the obvious... He sees the love the girl has for the hitokiri, and also the ignorance, yet unconscious response from him in return to the girl... he halfway reveals this to Kaoru (though she doesn't notice) by asking about the tea... It's something minor, but I wanted to point it out to you guys... by asking her what kind she had made for Kenshin... then telling her that he would like "my own koishii" to make it for him... he was suggesting that they were sharing the same relationship... understand? Something fun... and kind of sweet on a "who cares" level... but hey... I liked it.

Thanks for reading and reviewing... tell me what you think and I will see you in the next one... more K&K with a little S&M... hopefully...


	13. Adjusting

Thank you for the reviews, now get on with this one.

Disclaimer: I don't own sunshine... breakfast... laughter or grins... and emotions that keep us tied together.

x

"I told myself I won't miss you,

But I remember,

What it feels like beside you."

_Better Than Me_ Hinder

x

Chapter 13: Adjusting

Kenshin swam lazily to the surface of his consciousness, wanting to hang onto those wonderful moments when he was actually close to his Kaoru. When he could touch and reassure, tease and play... when they were just themselves and all that mattered was making her laugh. It was still all that mattered, but it seemed so complicated now... so much between them that needed to be fixed first. Nothing was simple anymore... with her or with himself.

Rolling over onto his back, sleep still gamely hanging onto his mind, he snuggled further under the blanket, happy at least for the moment that he was waking up somewhere close to her. In the same house with her. Admittedly it was nothing like waking up and seeing her first thing... but it was something he could deal with as long as he got to see her later... in the next room. Sighing, enjoying each pleasure as they came, his mind gleefully latched onto her and the warmth he found with her. So it was with a jolt of fear and anger did he automatically grab for his sakabato and rip his way out of bed when her voice echoed through the house.

"Kenshin!"

Groggy and disoriented, he slammed his door open and tore down the hall, an irrational injustice digging into him that this would happen only the day after he had moved back in, after finding her and latching back on. Anger heightening with the frustration, her voice calling out again, he slid at the door the sound was coming from, the socks on his feet giving him no traction as he stumbled into the wood and his fingers worked at the crevice. Forcing his way into what he now recognized was the kitchen, his left hand curling tightly around the sheath of his weapon, he froze at the sight of her unharmed and alone, her back to him as she stared at the cabinets before her.

"What the hell..." Turning at the sound of him behind her, she stopped with a jolt at the figure in the doorway, her eyes widening and her head snapping back as she slowly looked him up and down. There was no way to prevent the harsh beat of her heart, the lurch in her stomach or the heat spreading down to her toes. Not with the state he was in. Not with the slightly amber tinged eyes, the loose fire of hair falling over his shoulders, framing the familiar set of his face and shading the texture from the flame of morning light. Not with the katana present in his grip or the rumpled mess of his clothes and especially not with the way he seemed to instantly jump to her call... thinking only of her safety first. Swallowing with difficulty, her fingers pulling nervously at the ends of her sweatshirt, she bit her lip before trying to speak. The squeak that came out prompted her to clear her throat before trying again. "Ano..." Forcing her thoughts away from him and to the original reason she had yelled, she gestured obscurely at the opened doors behind her. "What's all this?"

"Oro?" Blinking several times at the halt in adrenaline, at the fact that she was fine and there was nothing wrong... except for the full shelves of food that he had bought the day before... he relaxed from his stance and scratched a hand over the side of his head. "Food?"

"Yeah... and nothing I can cook." Crossing her arms and falling into the irritation that she had found when she first woke up, she tapped her foot impatiently. "How am I supposed to make breakfast if there isn't anything safe for me to touch?"

"You're not...?" Tentatively supplying the answer, he stepped back when she snorted, unsure of how to handle this slightly different Kaoru now that she was used to living by herself and taking orders from nobody but her.

"Oh really? Does that mean you are? Because you're the only person here that has the ability to."

Smiling suddenly he walked further into the room, shaking his head at her anger. "I had planned on it, Kaoru-dono. You shouldn't have to worry about cooking anyway with all the work you already do."

Thrown off, she dropped her arms and shuffled her feet. "Well... good... so get to it already. I'm hungry."

"Hai, hai." Huffing out a breath of laughter, his eyes closed happily. Jerking abruptly when she pulled on his sakabato, fearful suddenly at the closeness she had forced upon them, his eyes snapped open in question.

"What are you doing with this in here? Geez, Kenshin... I can take care of myself in my own home." Hefting it fully into her grasp she watched as he eyed it, his gaze sliding up to hers and saddening.

"Gomen nasai, Kaoru-dono... I forgot..."

Smiling and waving it off, she leaned softy into his shoulder, the move instinctive when it came to comforting him. "Daijoubu... I don'..."

"Wow, what was that all about!"

Jumping apart in surprise, they both turned to the door and the boy standing in his pajamas, the awe on his face apparent as he stared at the man.

"I didn't even hear his feet, Kaoru! It was amazing!" His attention turning to the sword in her hands, his eyes widened further. "Is that a real katana? Where did you get that? Can I hold it?"

"No, you idiot. You're too little... Yahiko-chan." Sticking her tongue out at the petulant face he made, she laughed out loud, the sound happy and carefree, making the man behind her smile. "Besides, you still need to get dressed for school. And take a shower, little boy, you're starting to smell." Wrinkling her nose at the state of his hair and clothes, she pushed him toward the door, turning suddenly as if in remembrance of Kenshin's watching figure. "Here." Kenshin looked on as she untangled the tie from the end of her braid, her hand offering it to him insistently. "I don't think any of us want to find hair in our food."

"But..." Not wanting to take something of hers, even the smallest elastic band, he held up a hand in opposition, not trusting himself to get it back to her.

"Come on, Kenshin, I probably have a million of them, and I don't feel like waiting for you to find one of your own. So just take this one and like it. Besides, I think I stole it from you anyway." Shrugging her shoulders, she dropped it around one of his upraised fingers, ignoring the sound of protest that worked up his throat and turning back to the door. "I'll put this in your room for you." Lifting the katana for reference, she disappeared out the door, her footsteps resounding down the hall.

Staring at the simple, black tie, Kenshin ran his thumb over the rough texture, thinking back to times when he had taught her how to tie back her own hair. The smooth silk of her locks making it hard to keep all of it in one position at once, taunting him into irritation with its unruliness. This thought brought other times to mind... other images of it tangled with his fingers... Brows furrowing, he focused instead on tying back his own hair, bending his fingers in an unconscious move to bring them all within its circle before bunching the red strands at the base of his neck and securing them tightly. The thick length was really getting out of control, the weight pulling at his head uncomfortably and making him wonder again why he didn't cut it. With a tiny smile he turned to the stove and the meal he was supposed to be cooking, answering himself with a shake of his head. _Because Kaoru would kill you._ Brushing once more half-heartedly at the bangs in his face, he thought back to another time and place, when they were both younger.

"_Kenshin? Are you ok?" Sapphire eyes looked at him worriedly, her twelve year old form now almost at his height, making him look at her twice every now and again._

"_I'm fine, little one… just a headache." Irritably he rubbed at the back of his head again, the tender spot below the hair-tie of his ponytail throbbing painfully and causing him to lose focus on their training. For a second Kaoru looked at him thoughtfully, tilting her head to the side in a gesture he had long since recognized as her way of contemplating a situation. The unconscious sign made him smile._

"_Come here." Walking to him, she motioned for him to turn his back, pushing on his shoulders until he kneeled in front of her. Bewildered, he did as she asked, nervously looking at her from out of the corner of his eye. Sitting down her bokken and gripping the tie in his hair, she carefully unraveled it from the long strands._

"_What are you doing?" Perplexed, he felt the fiery threads pool down his back, brushing his ears and tickling his neck… but the pain seemed to lessen._

_Sighing in exasperation, Kaoru ran her fingers over the sore spot, messaging the skin with a carefully measured pressure, the almost permanent bump and split ends from the tie catching her attention as well. "Mou! Do you ever take your hair down?"_

"_When I wash it," he replied in defense, slightly stung that she was rebuking him for something, like he was the child._

"_Well, no wonder you have a headache. Your poor scalp has got to be screaming bloody murder at you." The wording made him frown, but her constant stream of conversation threw him out of that dark mood. "You need to make sure you take it down and brush it before you go to bed too. With the way your treating your hair, it's a wonder it has even grown this much." Small fingers still massaged the tender area, making his eyes droop in appreciation. _

"_Maybe I should just cut it off." This comment earned him a sharp tug from those gentle hands, the pain abruptly sprouting back to life. "Oww!"_

"_Don't you dare!" Ignoring his pain, Kaoru yanked again, the resulting exclamation louder than the last. "I'll never forgive you if you do something like that!"_

"_Ok, ok, just stop trying to rip it out by the roots!" _

_Satisfied, Kaoru began massaging again, eventually threading her fingers through the locks to try and untangle them._

"_So what should I do with it then?" Kenshin looked over his shoulder, Kaoru's smiling face revealing her delight in getting to play with his hair in such a way. _

"_I'd say try a different hairstyle every now and then. That way it isn't constantly being severely stuck in the same way." Kenshin's snort made her roll her eyes, anticipating his next words with the uncanny perception of a female predicting a male._

"_And what else can I possible do with it without making myself look like a fruitcake?"_

_Kaoru's expression turned dazed for a moment, the slight curve of her mouth progressing further with each passing second until she was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. Expecting the sentence had been one thing, hearing exactly how he put it was another. Bracing her weight on his back she laughed into his shoulder, his own amused chuckles shaking her through the contact. Finally collecting herself, she pulled back, her eyes bright and merry with the remaining giddiness he had created in her mind._

"_Well…" a few more giggles escaped, "how about you just tie it off lower. That way it isn't over the same spot every time and…" her laughter gained strength again, "you won't look like a 'fruitcake.'" Running her fingers through it again, she parted it slightly in the middle, smoothing it down further and then gathering it at the back of his neck. "Besides, your hair's almost too heavy to be wearing it so high anymore anyway. With all that weight, you really do need to wear it like this more often so you won't get such horrible headaches." Tying it off with deft movements, Kaoru adjusted it then patted him on the back before grabbing her bokken and walking away again. "Feel better now?"_

_Experimentally Kenshin twisted his head, finding that it didn't pull as much as he thought it would and that the pain had lessened considerably. "Hai…" His bangs did seem to be much more prominent, however. Glaring up at them he blew them irritably out of his face before shrugging and turning a smile to the girl. " Arigato."_

_The young woman grinned happily back at him, her bokken lifting to restart their spar. "Do itahimashite."_

Smiling at the one of many happy memories they shared, he sighed, his ears picking out the noises the other two were creating as they started their day; the drum of the shower and the scrape of wood on wood as Kaoru opened and closed drawers in her room. The smell of jasmine still filled the air, mingling with the odors from the food and keeping his mind locked firmly on her. An occurrence that was not as rare as he thought it probably should be. She was on his mind most of the time... had been for the past three years... or better...

_That's why you came back, though, wasn't it? Because you can't stop thinking about her. About what needs to be said and done and corrected. Ignoring fourteen years of your life wasn't as easy as you thought. Ignoring everything you have come to depend on, to anticipate... to love... Love like the delicate petals of spring flowers, heart aching at the coming of winter's frost. It has been winter too long... yet spring has come and gone for my Kaoru... I missed so much. So much time; so much growth; so much laughter. With the summer of her life starting... _Sighing, he shook his head. _I have spent so much of my time thinking, searching, wondering... I still have not found what it is that I need to feel completely whole... and I'm afraid that when I do, I will have already lost my chance in the sun._

"Kenshin." Turning at the sound of her voice, the catch in his chest almost automatic by now, he found her peeking into the room, her weight braced on the hands gripping the door jam, the grin on her face playful and innocent. _She looks so very happy._ "Is it done yet? I'm starving."

"Almost, Kaoru...dono." Catching himself smoothly, he blamed his thoughts for forcing him back into that time when they were together, combining unfairly with her carefree attitude toward him. "Why don't you set the table?"

"Ok." Jumping fully into the room, she opened a cupboard on the opposite wall, stacking what they needed and fishing out the chopsticks, her voice humming unconsciously as she worked. From out of the corner of his eye he watched the swish of the long skirt she wore tickle her ankles, how the v-neck top clearly outlined the figure underneath, and how the playful tinkle of the shoulder length earrings clinking gently against each individual strand rang through the room.

"You seem to be in a good mood." Commenting with a smile, he watched her grin widen, wondering what she was thinking about.

Shrugging her shoulders, she giggled, her next words rueful. "I think I almost forgot what real food tastes like. Knowing that you're going to be cooking for me now is enough to make anybody giddy." _And having you here at all is enough for me._

Unsure of how to respond he stayed silent, watching over the food with a sharp eye. There was no way now he could cook anything but the best for her, since she was looking forward to it so much. And with the weight he was sure she had lost since the last time he had seen her, he was going to make sure she ate everything he put in front of her. _Those microwave dinners she has been surviving on do not have enough sustenance to keep up with her active lifestyle. It's a wonder she hasn't dropped by now._

Sitting down the spoon in his hand, he listened to her walk out, shaking his head at the thump she landed on the wall of the hallway followed closely by a chorus of good-natured giggles. It was amazing how clumsy she could really be when she wasn't concentrating, and he wondered again what she could be thinking of that would distract her mind so thoroughly. _Nothing that you could possibly comprehend, I imagine._ Wryly admitting defeat, he prepared himself to take the food out to the dining area, hoping that everything would be to her liking.

Yahiko entered the room the same time Kenshin did, Kaoru's form separating the distance between them as she bent over the short table and set out everyone's dish; resetting the place-mats and cushions they would be sitting on. A hesitant smile crossed the boy's face as their eyes met, his enthusiasm over the morning's events gone now that he had time to wake up, remembering his earlier disdain for the rurouni's presence. Yet there was something in the look that made Kenshin relax, as there was no displeasure, but rather contemplation and observation. He was being decided upon. _Fair enough._

Smiling innocently, Kenshin sat down the tray he held on one of the corners nearest what he assumed would be his seat, settling on the cushion and helpfully filling everyone's bowl with rice. Kaoru, finding it easy to fall back into such a routine where he was the dominate with the food issue, didn't think twice about the movement, rather taking her own seat next to him and speaking a word of gratitude.

Yahiko, taking in the actions of his sensei and the comfort she found near this man, noticed the heaviness gone from her eyes, the way her lips continuously curved into a lighthearted grin and her voice seemed to come smoother, like she no longer had to force either happening. She was content and truly a different person than he was used to seeing on a daily basis. And only the fact that he now saw how happy she truly could be reveled this drastic contrast to him.

Dark irises switching to the other of the pair, his knowledge of him limited to only the night before, he watched him smile that fake smile, his eyes closed from emotion and only holding a hint of sadness. It was the certain fearful tension surrounding him, however, that Yahiko could not seem to figure out. Like he was afraid of his sensei. Which was a ridiculous notion seeing the battle scar on his face and the way he had moved down the hallways that morning... speeding through the house on silent feet and clutching the length of a long sword like he was instantly ready to fight... or defend...

Plopping down on the seat across from the two adults in confusion and yet a certain amount of understanding, Yahiko picked up his own bowl and cleared his throat before lifting the dish and mumbling a grudging thanks.

"Oh, we forgot the tea." Jumping up hurriedly, Kaoru made her way back into the kitchen, leaving the two guys alone and giving Yahiko the chance to watch how violet eyes followed her out.

"I've never heard her laugh like that before."

Turning at the blunt words, Kenshin felt his brow furrow before he could stop it. "Surely you have, Yahiko-kun." Correcting him confidently, he picked up his own food. "The Kaoru-dono that I know hardly ever went a moment without laughing."

"Maybe... but I know a different Kaoru..." Pausing to watch the man lower his eyes to the food in his hand, contemplation and worry written on his face, Yahiko shrugged as if indifferent. "And I think your presence is good for her." Diverting his eyes without waiting for a response, he immediately took in the outfit Kaoru was wearing as she walked back in, screwing up his nose and giving her grief.

"Geez, Ugly, you're just going to work... where's the makeup and high-heels to match?" Batting his eyelashes mockingly, he instinctively ducked back when she made a swing at him over the table.

"If you don't like it why don't you do the laundry, you little leech? I don't have anything else to wear." Smiling wickedly, she settled back down in her seat and finished sweetly. "Unless you would let me wear your clothes and you could have mine in exchange."

"Ugh!" Making a show of throwing up under the table, he thoroughly let her know how much he liked that idea. "You'd have to kill me first."

"Aww, but keeping you alive is so much fun. Gives me someone to torture." Brushing back the long earrings to purposely make them tinkle, she laughed at his petulance. Digging into her food, she thoroughly enjoyed the fact that she was getting to eat something made by Kenshin for the second time in a row. And if what he had said was true the night before, he was going to stay. He wanted to stay and be near and if that meant she would have to pretend to be happy with the respectful distance, then it wouldn't really be that hard. Because she was just content to have him sitting next to her and eating and smiling.

Immediately following breakfast, Kenshin watched the two scurry to leave, the only part he got to play in that being to make sure Kaoru had her coat, as she seemed to like to forget it... Returning the hurried goodbye from the girl, he noticed but didn't comment on the way she hesitated to leave, her feet freezing undecidedly in the middle of the yard for a moment before she determinedly walked the rest of the way to the gate. The boy studiously ignored him, shouting a careless dismissal at his guardian as he disappeared from view, his arm waving over his head as if it didn't matter but he was going to do it anyway to keep her happy.

Shaking his head and ducking back into the house, Kenshin returned to the mess still laid out on the table, smiling at the severely cleaned bowls. There was not a crumb left to even worry about sticking to the dishes, nothing to make cleaning up difficult in the least. That would mean he would have to find something to do soon or boredom would set in fast while they were gone. Stacking the dishes on the food tray, he lifted them back into the kitchen, deciding he was going to have to take a walk through the house afterwards... at least he knew the laundry needed to be done.

x

Saturday was finally here, finding Kaoru on the engawa of the dojo in her training gear, the cool breeze playing over the sweat slicked bangs sticking to her face. It was her day off, _finally_, and she did not have to worry about work again until Monday,_ thank goodness_... her boss was really beginning to wear on her nerves. Relaxing her tense muscles she sighed, letting the warmth from the sun seep into her skin and wash away that irritation, settling her mind on something much closer to home.

With Kenshin there constantly, welcoming her home at night and greeting her each new day, she found herself floating on a cloud of bliss and euphoria. The anticipation of those simple acts alone something she had lived without for too long, and now almost lived to see and hear. Only until those times when she forgot herself would she come crashing back down to reality, her heart aching at the withdraw of his emotions and the tenseness of his muscles. Only when she would react automatically, like she had always done in any situation with him; laughingly leaning into him; cheerfully hugging him in the mornings; teasingly pulling his hair; or tiredly laying her head on his shoulder as she sat next to him during supper. Each time her mind would lapse and she found herself falling into the routine, she would be sharply reminded of the present, by either her own reason or his panicked response. Somehow she knew that it would either get easier to remember, or harder to deal with as time went by, as his new found disposition towards her finally wore on the mind and became constant. But for now, she was dealing... reminding herself that she was lucky he was there at all, spending time with her and not out of reach simply because of distance.

Refocusing her eyes on the still bare branches of the trees within her yard she watched them bend in the breeze, clattering softly against one another in a dance and song all there own. The whole dojo was calm, peaceful; the sky clear, the breeze only chilly, not cold, and only the gentle buzz of suburban activity drifting over the high wall disturbed the quiet. There was nothing pressing needing to be done, nothing to command her immediate attention... and it was really starting to irritate her.

"I'm _bored_."

With Yahiko at the Akabeko and Kenshin doing all the chores while she was at work, there was nothing to do, and she still had over half the day to fill, not counting the entire day of Sunday. The laundry was done, the dishes were done, the house was clean, even the guest rooms were cleared out and redone. How he had accomplished that she couldn't even imagine, but there they were, open and ready for occupation if Misao or Sano stopped by for an evening. The only thing he didn't touch on was her room, but she was hardly ever in there to mess it up anyway, so... that only left the dojo. Sadly, she couldn't do anything with it just yet; the plans were mapped out in her mind, but she didn't have the tools or the money to start on it. Not that anything so trivial had stopped Kenshin considering the floors were buffed and polished, ready for the training that took place there in the meantime.

Whining childishly, Kaoru dropped her head back against the post she was leaning on, deciding that she could throw her temper tantrum since there was nobody in sight to see it. _This is my house dammit! He could have at least left something for me to do! Just because I can't cook doesn't mean I can't keep my own house clean. _Snorting out a breath through her nose, she swung her feet over the side of the porch and dug her toes into the cold dirt, kicking at the few dried leaves that had escaped her notice the previous fall. _Dammit, it's nice having him back and all... but this could get annoying! I will not fight over my own dirty laundry! He's just going to have to be put in his place._

Nodding her head in agreement, she stood up abruptly, stepping absently into her sandals before stalking off to the main house where she knew he was, cooking lunch. Distracted and mumbling under her breath, ready to take out not only her boredom but also her frustration on him, her eyes trained on the door of her goal, she jumped in surprise at the ring of the bell from the gate.

Brow furrowing in suspicion, unable to think of who would be calling at such an inconvenient time of day, she veered off to her left to open the guest door. On the other side stood two men, one slightly taller than the other but with mirroring looks of polite smiles on their faces. The taller of the two was dressed like a businessman, his mustache covering most of his upper lip while his hardened eyes tried to look unthreatening. The shorter, by an inch or so, wore glasses and the uniform of a police officer, his features much more friendly and open than that of his comrade.

"Kamiya-san?" The police officer spoke, his upper body bowing in respect as she nodded her head slowly in acknowledgment. "I am Police Chief Uramura, and this is Yamagata Aritomo. We would like to ask you a few questions."

Eyes going wide with the introduction of the men in front of her, only one thought sprang abruptly to mind. _They're after Kenshin. They want him back. To make him do something he doesn't want to. To take him away again._ Blue irises darkening slightly in anger, she pulled the door shut behind her as she stepped out into the street with them.

"About what?" Voice calmly questioning back, she reminded herself that they might not know he was there. That if she pulled this off well enough they would leave and look elsewhere.

Yamagata narrowed his eyes at the lack of response to the announcement of their personage as well as the deliberate disrespect she had shown by not asking them inside, and then purposely shutting them out. Looking down at the police chief next to him, he shared a meaningful glance, before turning back to the girl and dropping his polite smile.

"We have reason to believe you have information about the apprehension of a certain killer this past week." Blunt and firm, he spoke the words, watching with further suspicion the surprise bloom on her face.

"N-nani?"

"The assistance of some outside help was apparently required, but this person's identity has alluded us. We wish this person no harm, though with such strength running rampant about the city, you can see what kind of a dilemma this forces us into."

Catching herself quickly, she spoke back equally firm, suddenly angry about his suggestive accusation. "I see you think this person would start using their strengths for their own benefits, Yamagata-san." Bowing politely, she tried hard to remember her manners. Though she was relieved that this really had nothing to do with Kenshin at all, she still could not keep the shake from her voice. "But as I still do not know what this has to do with me... I would like to point out that I live at a dojo. And while not yet up and running, I am the master of a style that promotes the protection of others... not the killing and certainly not in the selfishness of trying to enrich my own financial situation... such as it is."

"Ah yes... so our mutual acquaintance Maekawa-sensei has informed us." The police chief spoke up this time, his friendly features smiling at her in assurance. "It is a very interesting notion to tie to sword-fighting, as it has never been used for anything but killing... and to be honest, it is the reason why we are here." Looking around, Uramura took a step forward. "If we may talk more about this inside, it is a police matter... and now a government wish, to keep this quiet."

"But you see... I already have company, Uramura-san. If they found out, would that not be an infringement on your secrecy?" Smiling innocently, Kaoru tried not to let the beating of her heart increase too much, to let her breath shallow out or her face to whiten with the lack of oxygen.

"Just inside the gate then."

Gritting her teeth in defeat, Kaoru led them inside, hoping that since the kitchen was on the other side of the house, Kenshin would not see and appear. Or if he sensed their presence then he would think of it as nothing more than someone calling. Turning expectantly as the gate door shut behind them, Kaoru waited, her eyes trained on that of the police chief's.

"Kamiya-san... you must understand that this is a delicate matter. The papers only reported half of the truth about this killer keeping the identity that he used a secret to insure that the populace was not disturbed more than necessary. As it is... the name he used would have connected him to the new and fragile hold that we have over the government since the winning of the war thus making the people wary and unsure of its ability to keep them safe."

Nodding in understanding, more than either of them could possibly know, Kaoru kept quiet, making sure she would not give away anything by helping his story along. Taking a deep breath, Uramura continued hesitantly.

"Capturing this criminal was of the utmost importance for our police corps, and it needed to be done as quickly and quietly as possible... but his skill seemed to be the match of the title he had claimed." At this point Kaoru caught herself from snorting out a sound of disbelief, swallowing it with difficulty and lowering her eyes to the dirt, missing the look of contemplation on the face of the government official standing silently before her. "So when an unnamed fighter showed up out of nowhere four nights ago and beat him without any major difficulties... we were, to say the least, impressed. Yet confused, as to why the man would wish to keep his identity secret... to run from the police... unless of course he had something to hide. As the next day wore on, and many suggestions made and contemplated, we were unable to reject the fact that while this fighter had helped us apprehend a killer, he was still loose and uncensored among the innocent bystanders of Tokyo, possibly all of Japan."

When he paused again, Kaoru felt it time to speak up, her patience wearing thin as she had already guessed a great deal of this to begin with. "And this led you here how?"

"Once again, you stated that your technique was bent around the idea that one should not kill... and we found it very interesting that someone with enough strength, discipline and skill to beat our killer, would let him _live_ when he did not grant such mercy to the many he had met with on his rampages. Who, we asked, would do such a thing when he was at their mercy _and _unidentified by the police. A perfect position to exact a people's justice out from under the law of the government? What kind of a swordsman would so such a thing?"

Shifting uncomfortably, Kaoru crossed her arms and tried to think quickly, to find a way to keep the spotlight off of her.

"Naturally, we went to all the dojo first, asking about old or new students, trying to find a lead to any naturals that had come along or had been known within their walls. And that was when we came across our Maekawa Dojo, and he proceeded to tell us about the style that you taught, or are going to teach... as you have no students and are the only master known..." Letting his voice trail off meaningfully, Uramura watched Kaoru divert her eyes to the wooden partition behind them.

"And so you think I had something to do with the capture of a man twice my size and probably twice my age therefore much more experienced."

"That is why we are here, Kamiya-san... we would like to find out. There will be no punishment, we are not here to arrest this person, like we said before. We would merely like the opportunity to speak with them."

"Well, I am sorry to admit, but I know nothing of what you are talking about. The most I have heard about this situation is that he was out there, that I should not wander out after dark, and that he is now, thankfully, captured and behind bars. Whether I should be thankful to the police or to some unknown samurai, it does not matter to me, so long as I and my ward are safe to walk alone. Now, I'm sorry that I have not been any help to you, but like I said, I have guests and I'm sure they are hungry for lunch." Walking passed them to lead the way to the door once again, Kaoru stopped short when a hand snapped around the sleeve of her gi. Squeezing the bandages underneath that were covering the healing wound on her arm, her face hardened as her eyes shot back to those of Yamagata's. To her credit she did not hiss out a breath at the bite of pain, but her jaw did clench and her eyes narrowed, telling him what he had wanted to know.

Opening his mouth to speak, his words already accusing before they whispered a sound, he was stopped by the firm curling of calloused fingers digging into this own wrist, the appearance startling to the two men.

"Yamagata-san, you will not touch Kaoru-dono in such a way." Hard, violet irises looked up into the surprised dark of the official. "It is rude, and you are hurting her." The look in his eyes said that it would not be a wise move to want to hurt the girl, and at the insistent pressure of his grip, Yamagata was forced to let go, whether he wanted to or not.

"Himura-san?" All suspicions blown out the window about the woman standing forgotten beside him, Yamagata instead reevaluated his evidence, wondering where this man would have fit into it.

Ignoring his questioning and the outrage that was sure to come, Kenshin turned to Kaoru, his intent gaze searching her face for any real signs of hurt and finding only a resigned fear. Swallowing at the look he had come to know all too well, Kenshin placed a hand on her shoulder and turned her in the direction of the house. "Why don't you see about our lunch, Kaoru-dono?" Trying to reassure her without words, he was relieved when she stepped away obediently after only a brief searching look, her posture stiff as she bowed her excuse to the two guests standing in her yard.

Waiting until he was sure she was well on her way to the other side of the house, Kenshin twisted back to the man he had served with during the war, taking in his appearance neutrally.

"You have grown a mustache, Yamagata-san."

"Himura-san... what are you doing here?"

"Staying with an old friend."

"Here? But the girl hardly looks old enough to be out of high school."

The smile he gave him was as unassuming as ever, but the violet eyes that held his own were dark and unsettling. "A true enough statement, Yamagata-san. Which brings me to question what you would be wanting from Kaoru-dono in the first place... if she is so very young and innocent looking?"

"We were led to believe she would have information about the person who helped with the capture of a serial killer we were chasing, and who, coincidentally, was using your own title for his escapades. Maybe it was not such a dead lead since we have found you here."

"Well, maybe this unworthy one can help you. What was the description... maybe I have seen this person?"

Shifting uncomfortably, Uramura spoke up, the list of features ingrained in his mind already. "The person wore black clothing, the traditional garb of a samurai, with long dark hair pulled back into a high top knot; short, slight of figure and fought with a black katana."

"Well, now... I know it had to be dark... This did happen at night, right?" At their nods, Kenshin continued on calmly. "But I will assume that my own red hair would never be mistaken for black at any time of day. Nor would they be able to miss the scar on my face... they didn't mention anything like that, did they?" Once again a negative answer. "Well, then... that would leave me out of the picture."

"But your Kamiya-san does fit all of the descriptions."

"Yes, well... did the officers there happen to mention any type of gender, or even the color of this person's eyes?"

Uramura coughed, before grudgingly admitting. "Gohei kept calling his opponent a boy."

"Ah... and as he was the closest to ever get to this unknown samurai, then we would have to assume he would know, wouldn't he? I guess that leaves Kaoru-dono out as well."

"But what true samurai would fight this killer and not land a lethal blow... not one?" Yamagata spoke up with a hard decisiveness, stepping forward slightly in his agitation. "Who but not your Kamiya-san? Her style is the only one I have ever heard of that does not include the necessity of killing in her technique. What other warrior in this world could believe such ignorance but that of a woman?"

"You will watch what you say, Yamagata-san. What she teaches is for this new age, and while I do agree that it is a sweet, naive lie... I would like to believe that it could become the truth. Do I not now follow the same principle?"

"But..."

"Kaoru-dono is an innocent... she practices with that of a wooden sword... her eyes still hold the brightness of childhood. What part of her could you see in that of the warrior witnessed the other night?"

"I could very well imagine her there. She was defiant and bordering rude when she did not invite us in. That she did not react with anything but anger at our appearance shows she was not surprised at all. What else are we to believe?"

"That she was protecting the whereabouts of an old soldier she believes owes nothing more to that of the government."

"Protecting you? You need no help with that, Himura-san."

_I do not deserve it... but that does not mean I don't need it..._ Sighing, Kenshin shook his head. "You do not need to be here, Yamagata-san... A warrior like the one you seek will never work for you. That is why he ran... not because he was afraid to be captured or his identity revealed... but because free spirits like that one do not belong in a cage of corruption and politics. What would you have done with a samurai that does not kill anyway? Would you have forced them to? Would you have killed their soul as well as break their spirit? Then what would you have made? Nothing. Leave it be."

"What about you, Himura-san? We could use you in the government."

"Not one part of me wishes to be a hitokiri again."

"Because of the girl?"

Kenshin laughed, shaking his head at such bluntness. "Kaoru-dono does not like the government, not because she does not believe that our side was in the wrong or in the right, but because she grew up seeing what it did to the soul of one man. No, Yamagata-san, I do not wish to go back because I am trying to find my place in this new era. I do not wish to fight against it."

"You realize that men like us have no real place. Swords are forbidden in this time of peace, you can accomplish nothing with one. What else are you but a sword?"

"... I can at least protect those within my sight."

_You have not changed, old friend. There is more to this girl than you are letting us believe, but I also see that it would be wise to let it go. _"Very well, Himura-san. We will not delay you any longer from your meal." Bowing respectfully, Yamagata led a very confused police chief out the front gates, knowing an explanation and an order to leave them both alone was needed.

x

Sagara Sanosuke sat at his favorite seat in his favorite bar. Nobody else sat there by then, because they all knew they would be kicked out of it if he showed up and it was occupied. He wasn't a rude man, he just liked keeping his routine regular... especially when it came to his alcohol. That way he would always know which way he was going while under the influence. No need to confuse himself any more than needed.

Tonight was a little slow, but then with that killer out on the streets, a lot of the regulars stayed home, not willing to chance an encounter with his blade just to have a drink. Sanosuke didn't care. In fact he hoped to meet him most nights, just so he could put that revolutionary pig in his place. Rumors were still very much in abundance at the bar, even with fewer customers, and he knew what that man fancied himself. Jouchan said he was a fake, that there was no way he could be the legendary Battosai, but then... Jouchan had a soft heart, and he knew that she rather considered the man to be noble and self-sacrificial, after what he had done throughout the revolution. Who was he to kill such kind thoughts about a murderer? She didn't know the man, after all. It was probably the only kind thought about him out there.

_Too bad he was captured the other night, it would have helped to let out some steam on him._ Burping at his third bottle of sake, he squinted at the door when it slid softly open, the tall form of a lady appearing in its embrace and shielding the light from her eyes as she walked through to a seat on the other side of the room. _Well, well, if it isn't the vixen._ Tossing back the last of the liquid in his cup, Sano stood steadily to his feet and strutted over, throwing one leg over the top of the chair across from her and plopping down.

"Hey, Fox, I'm almost glad to see you. You haven't stopped by for a couple of weeks."

Takani Megumi almost rolled her eyes, but she knew how much that action would have hurt, so instead she kept her head down. Hoping that the interior of the bar was dim enough, and her bangs were long enough, to shield what she did not want him to see. A part of her mind knew it would do no good, the rooster-head could see a lot clearer than many gave him credit for, and that if she had really wanted it to be kept silent, she would not have come at all. But the prospect of free air and friendly speech, even if it was the crude bluntness of this man, was too tempting to pass up. Besides, she almost found herself wanting a reaction. A show of caring like she had not witnessed in years.

"I've been kept on a short leash." The words burned her throat, making her lungs ache and struggling against her tongue. Sano did not notice her struggle with speech, yet, but then he was not at a bar for nothing.

"Your husband jealous that you don't invite him along?" It was a lie she had made him believe, that she was trapped in a bad marriage. Other tall tales of his unfaithfulness filling in the gaps and creating a boundary of where not to go. She would never let him know the truth, because she could not bear to see the look of disgust and horror he would show...

"Something like that." Taking a sip of the drink in her hand, her head tilted just enough for the light to hit the ugly purple bruising around her eye, yellowing out around the edges and touching just at the corner of the split on her eyebrow. Almost instantly one large hand was curled around her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye and at the anger that was growing steadily on his face.

"He did do this to you." It wasn't really a question, the way he worded it, and there really was no need to answer, but she wouldn't have been able to. This man before her had changed in the blink of an eye, from friendly and amiable, to furious and untouchable. The playful glint was gone from his eyes, the relaxed set of his muscles tensed in preparation for a fight, and his constant smile was curled down into a snarl. _This was not a good idea... he does not back down from anything... if he decides to try and do something... he could get killed. What was I thinking?_

"I-it's nothing... please... I... I slipped and fell." But as his eyes traveled down to the split lip and black bruises around her throat, she knew it was not a convincing lie. _You'll have to do better, dammit! Think of something!_ "Some guy tried to rough me up while I was walking home yesterday... the police got him, but he banged me up a little, that's all. Really Sanosuke, do you think my husband would do something like this?"

"Right, and that is why you are walking around today by yourself?"

_Alright... so he's not that stupid._ "Listen, don't worry about it. I shouldn't have let my tongue get the better of me. You know how I am. I probably deserved it." Shrugging her shoulders, she threw back the burning liquid, hissing at the way it stung her lip and throat.

"Nobody deserves to be treated like this, Fox. I don't care how mouthy you are. You need to leave him."

"I can't do that." Letting her head droop a little, Megumi found a warmth spread inside her at the caring he really did feel toward her. "He'd... he'd find me and..."

"Look, it's easy... I'll go with you. We'll pack a few of your things and you can stay at my place for awhile..."

Raising an eyebrow at his suggestion, she chuckled lightly at the blush that spread across his face.

"I mean... I'd sleep on the couch... or better yet... I bet Jouchan would let you stay with her. She's got more room than she knows what to do with, and having some company would probably be good for her."

"Jouchan?" Smile wiped swiftly off of her face, she frowned at the familiarity that he shared with this other woman. _How does he know she has so much room?_

"Yeah, she's the sweetest lady I know, I don't think she would mind taking you in. In fact she would probably demand it if she knew what you were going through. She can be a little scary about things like that."

Sighing, Megumi shook her head and stood. "Look, thank you for the thought, but it's not going to happen." Looking at him consideringly, she grinned. "You really are sweet, Sanosuke... for a drunk."

"Hey... I don't have to be ya know. If you want to stay with him that bad, just go ahead. I guess women like you only need the money to keep you interested." Standing abruptly himself, he snorted at the look of surprise. "Like I don't know why you stay. I'm not stupid. I may be simple, but I'm not stupid. Go ahead and put up with all of his crap, let him beat you to a pulp, just so you can buy whatever you want. Maybe all I can do is buy you a drink every now and again, but at least I'd never hit ya."

Slamming down the money for their drinks he stalked out the door, leaving behind the broken form of a woman, hurt worse now than when she had walked in.

x

**Glossary**

**ano -** umm...

**Do itahimashite -** your welcome

**Jouchan -** little missy

A/N: Yay, so we are finally done with chapter 13... ok, so Sano doesn't know that Kaoru grew up with Kenshin, because they became friends while she was in school, her and Misao, and Hiko and Kenshin thought it a good idea for her to not let anybody know. Misao knows of course, but she doesn't tell either. Yeah, so... ask me some damn questions... and I'll give you some damn answers... please... I like reviews... they give me warm and fuzzy feelings...heehee...


	14. Sakabato

Right, just so nobody will get confused from now on, I am going to label all times jumps clearly... like this... **Past** = anytime before Kenshin shows back up from his prolonged estrangement. **Present** = the progressing of the time after his appearance as the "rurouni" kay? Okay.

Disclaimer: ...I don't own Kenshin's sword... XD

x

"In your head, in your head,

They're still fighting.

With their tanks and their bombs,

And their bombs and their guns,

In your head, in your head,

They are dying..."

_Zombie_ Cranberries

x

Chapter 14: Sakabato

**~Past~**

Resting quietly like a panther in a tree, feet hooked behind her spread body and arms crossed comfortably under her cheek, Kaoru stared sadly across the clearing at the motionless figure hidden partially by the rocks. Spray from the fall was soaking his hair, his perch on the slippery boulder promising to throw him into the pool just inches below, but neither of these threats seemed to bother him. Nothing broke through his concentration... and Kaoru desperately wished that it was because he was only meditating like he told her. As she grew in her understanding of life, though, she was learning all too well how to spot his white lies.

Shifting slightly in her position, she brushed a hair out of her eye before sighing, letting her gaze follow the length of the katana in his lap. White knuckled fingers were wrapped around its sheath, his head bent toward it as if his glare alone would set it aflame. As far as she knew, the blade had stayed hidden from the world ever since his vow at the end of the war. Not even to clean it had he drew its deadly steel, and the stains on the wrapping of the hilt gave testament to this theory. It was not the proper way to treat such a weapon, but as Kaoru watched him, day after day during his return visits from the outside world, she thought she was beginning to understand.

Kenshin did not train anymore, not that he ever worked on his own style much, but there had been times that she had caught him alone; dancing through those deadly steps with such skill and speed that she could not seem to recognize them. Now, though, he barely even worked on the Hiten with her, preferring to help with her style of protecting life then with teaching her how to take it away. Even when she asked him to, wishing to continue in her knowledge so that she may learn how better to counter that of a killing technique... Somehow she had underestimated his skill at dodging, even if it was with words and not a sword.

_Baka Kenshin._ Echoing the words of her father unconsciously, she sat up to switch positions to her back, lifting her legs to brace up on the trunk. Kenshin still did not move, though she knew she was making too much noise. In fact he never did notice her presence until the sky darkened and the wind picked up, drying the water on his skin and bringing him back to the world with the gentle bite of evaporation. Briefly she wondered if he didn't sit so close to the fall so that it could be so cruel and he wouldn't stay out all night.

Letting her mind drift back to the movement of his fingers, she adjusted her head to catch the brush of calloused tips over the smooth lacquer of the sheath; the shake of his hand as it hovered over the hilt. A decision weighed heavily on his mind, creasing his face with determination... before it tightened in rage, his fists clenching abruptly then shooting out to throw the long sword from his lap and to the dirt below.

Jumping at such reckless anger, Kaoru overbalanced. Throwing her arm up and back to catch herself, scuffling softly against the bark, she curved the angle of her foot around the solid stem to balance her weight once again. Instantly wide, violet irises lifted to her hiding spot as the agitated feel of her ki threw off his concentration, his body moving swiftly over the thirty or so yards between them to make sure she was not injured.

"Kaoru... are you ok? What are you doing? You'll get hurt climbing that high." Hands automatically lifted to help her, a plea and a demand to come down immediately. Sighing, most of her weight swinging precariously from the arm twined around the branch and her leg tangled with the trunk, she ducked her head in embarrassed shame.

"Gomen nasai, Kenshin... I just... didn't want to disturb you." At the frown that tensed his mouth and eyes suspiciously, Kaoru worked up a small smile to try and banish it. "I think meditating's hard enough without distractions, ne?"

Relief washed over his face at her easy words, his mouth curving up into a wry grin, and she knew he believed her white lie. "Hai, it is very uncomfortable... but what are you doing out here anyway, little one... wasn't Misao-san supposed to come by today?"

"Hai..." Agreeing softly, Kaoru shifted so that she stood on the branch just below her, working her way down to the ground as she tried to hide her expressions. "but she has already been and gone home, Kenshin. Tousan sent me to get you for supper."

Glancing over at the blushing horizon, Kenshin turned back accusingly. "But it's well past time for supper, Kaoru. How long have you been sitting up there?"

The bite in his voice did not faze her, as she knew it was only out of concern, and she dropped effortlessly to the ground before him, a smile lighting her face. "Only a couple of hours. It's nice out here." Tilting her head only minimally to look him in the eye, she caught the displeasure that bloomed there.

A breath of exasperation huffed from his nose, his eyes lowering to her feet. "And where are your shoes?"

"I left them at the house."

"But it's getting dark. What if you step on something?"

"I'll be fine..."

"You shouldn't be so careless, Kaoru. Come here, I'll carry you home." Hands reached to pick her up, but a frustrated anger welled inside her chest at his babying, causing her to lash out harshly and back up into the base of the tree.

"I'm not a child so you can stop treating me like one!"

Violet eyes widened at her heated announcement, his arms lowering slowly back to his sides. There was a surprised hurt that she could read in those irises, an emotion she had never been the cause of before, and it only doubled the pain she felt at his refusal to see her as anything but. Feeling the betraying tremble of tears at the corners of her eyes, she swallowed hard to keep them down but lost against one wicked drop; its trail coursing hot and thick over her cheek and revealing her emotions openly. Swiping at it in disgust she stared in contriteness at the wet material covering his knees.

"Gom-en... n-nasai." Breathing erratic, heartbeat disjointed and loud in her ears, she tried to calm herself, her emotions unstable during this time of change and growth in her life. Carefully Kenshin wrapped an arm around her shoulder, confused and bewildered by her actions, yet wanting to comfort her none-the-less.

"Daijoubu." A whisper of sound in her ear confirmed his acceptance, and the tears broke free as she tilted her head into his shoulder. But she did not allow herself to cry like she wanted. Not in front of him. Fighting it admirably, she missed the moment when her fingers threaded into the hair falling over his shoulder, and he smiled at the unconsciously childish motion. "I didn't mean to sound berating... I just worry." _That while I'm gone something will happen. Something that I will have no control over. Something horrible like... you forget... _

"I know." Voice muffled by his shirt, she sniffed once and turned her head to the side. "I'm really sorry, Kenshin. Please don't think I only get mad at you when you come home."

Laughing, he hugged her tighter before turning her in the direction of the house. "What a silly notion, little one. Especially when you almost clobbered me when through the door last week."

Giggling at the remembered reaction he had given to that greeting, she wiped at the wetness on her face, the sadness gone for the moment. "Gomen, I guess I forgot that I'm not really that small anymore."

_Me too._

Stopping abruptly as her feet rooted to the ground, Kenshin looked over in question to see the troubled set of her face. "What's wrong?"

"Kenshin... you're forgetting something?"

Twisting his neck to look behind them, he sighed. "I had tried to..."

"I can get it..."

"No." Biting out the word roughly, he held her in place with one hand. "I will go. Stay here."

It only took seconds for him to go and return with the now dirt smeared katana he had used during the Bakumatsu, but his demeanor had already changed. _If we keep pushing each other away like this, we'll get nowhere..._ Sorrowful, Kaoru let her feet drag so that she was walking behind him, following the gentle swish of his long hair with her eyes. _Tousan said it is because of his vow that Kenshin cannot draw his sword. That the stain of blood is too thick in his eyes to see only the weapon that it is, and it may be some time before he will be able to overcome that obstacle... if ever. But... if he doesn't, and he meets Shishio in battle... he... he will die. It has already been over two years since they started looking... and though I wish for them to find him and finish this mission as soon as possible... they have been lucky that they have not met him, because Kenshin is not ready. He cannot beat him like he is... not without a weapon._

Dinner was a silent affair, only the click of chopsticks and the gentle tinkling of the dishes filled the room. Kenshin sat with his head lowered toward the table, barely touching his food, Hiko seemed ignorant of his presence at all, asking Kaoru if she would pass him things that were not on her side of the table, and Kaoru herself could not help the depression that wanted to weigh her down. Kenshin was home after being gone for months, it should have been a happy time, but everything seemed to be going in the opposite direction; his contemplation only hurting the original atmosphere that was shared when he wasn't there. Wanting his attention back desperately, to have him want to be near her, she thought longingly of how she used to curl up against him after she was done eating, usually falling asleep while waiting for him and waking up later in her futon. _But I am not a child anymore... and I need to start proving that to him._

So instead of leaning into him so familiarly, she stood with her dishes and took them to the kitchen to clean up, filling the sink with water and dropping soap into the rising liquid. It did not take long for the rest to follow, Hiko dropping his dishes in with hers without a comment or even a smile as he lumbered back out to the living room. Kenshin, however, offered to do the chore for her, but with an indifferent shrug and a shake of the head she turned him down, his feet hesitating at her lack of words before shuffling quietly away.

_I don't feel as comfortable around him anymore... I wonder what's wrong with me._

x

Kenshin sat down slowly in a chair on the other side of the living room from his master. His mind was not thinking of his surroundings, however. It seemed to want to waver between thoughts like an unsure goldfish; twitching around in the water at the slightest noise. Confusion was the main theme that stuck out and set his face, an ignorance as to why his Kaoru could not settle on one emotion when it came to him anymore. _Maybe... maybe she has finally tired of me and she is trying not to show it. Maybe she is saving my own feelings by hiding her impatience of my presence._ Despair sinking thickly into his chest at the thought, he did not notice the dark eyes that took in his appearance and so was slightly startled when he actually acknowledged his existence.

"The girl's just a little moody, ne?"

Looking up sharply, a moment of irritation at his tone flashed across his eyes. Not quite able to make up his mind whether to be defensive for her or not, he finally dropped his head and nodded.

"Hai. She was... rather upset with me earlier. I guess I try to baby her too much."

Snorting, Hiko reset his attention on the TV, hooking one foot over the other knee. "Guess you don't remember yourself at that age."

"Was I like that?" Bewildered and contemplative, he searched his own memory for the age of twelve, unable to picture himself yelling at his master for babying him. _I was lucky if he held back at all during training._

"You still are, idiot."

"Oro?"

Shaking his head, Hiko pinned him with his gaze once again. "Anybody at that age is going to be confused... and I would think it could be especially confusing for a young girl who has grown up with two men and knows nothing of what to expect."

"What do you mean...?" The words trailed off from his mouth as it hit him fully in the brain. "Oh..." An embarrassed red stole across his face as her words came back to him. _"I'm not a child..." Not anymore._

_And it was a good thing Misao had been around for that one... or I think I might not have been able to handle it._ Keeping that thought to himself, Hiko shifted uncomfortably. "Just don't let it bother you. She gets more upset if she thinks you're mad with her."

"So I noticed."

"She's a smart girl. She'll figure it out on her own. Unlike you."

Aggravated, Kenshin instantly went defensive, knowing the tone in his master's voice from many of the arguments that preceded the one about to start. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I saw that ragged looking weapon you brought home earlier. That's no way to treat a seasoned katana, boy. It deserves more respect than that."

"And how would you know what it deserves? It's mine isn't it? Shouldn't I know what's best?" Leaning forward with a hiss of defiance, his hands moving in agitation, he shot back his words quickly, his emotions over this subject already tangled enough to choke him.

"Is that how you look at it? Because it's yours nobody else knows what would be best? Is that how you look at the girl?"

Uneasiness grew in the violet gaze as his head snapped back slightly. "That's different."

"Is it? Is it so very different?" Huffing out a breath at the continued look of hardness in his irises, Hiko leaned forward. "The way you treat your sword is horrendous... and why? Because it reminds you of everything you have sacrificed and walked through, over, just to get to this one point? How will you look at the girl in a few years? Will it be with the same disdain simply because she has come from a part of your life you never wish to remember?"

"No, I couldn't..."

"Couldn't you?" Pausing, the rage slowly growing in his veins, his voice rising with each word, he almost spit in disgust at the denial from his apprentice. A boy he once believed could handle the teachings he wished to give to him... a man who now only lived in regret. "You already ignore her. Have ignored her. Ever since you came home last week you have spent more time up that mountain staring at a piece of steel then you have spent training with her."

"She understands what is going on... and she has you to train her now."

"Oh yes... she understands perfectly... but she is still very much a child in her emotions, baka. She doesn't understand why you distance yourself." Huffing out a sigh, he felt the anger deflate him. "And she doesn't want me to train her."

"But... I can't, Hiko-sama... nothing feels right anymore. Everything that I do is shrouded in a blanket of red. I don't want that to affect her like it does me. You are a much better teacher for her. And yes," Eyes leveled to look at him in challenge. "because she is mine... I know what is best for her."

Hiko looked the angry red-head up and down, wondering if he was actually serious. Wondering why he could not listen to himself and the words that were sprouting from his mouth. The ignorant stupidity. "I had heard that the Battosai was an arrogant bastard. I guess I thought I knew you better than to believe it." Standing like a tower of rage in the middle of the room, Hiko looked down on the man with nothing but disdain and warning. "I'll only tell you this once, boy. You figure out this problem and you figure it out fast, because if you break her heart by dying from some stupid inability to come to rights with yourself... I'll make sure to curse your soul into the blackest pit of hell and spend the rest of my life helping her forget you even existed."

Kenshin watched him leave with a mixture of surprise, annoyance, restlessness and depression. That man could never understand what it was like for him, to have to deal with the weight of so much after only twenty-two years. What did he know? He sat in his damn shack and made his damn porcelain bowls and talked to no one all day. Who was he to judge how he was living his own life? _And the girl is mine, old man! I decide what is best, not you! I know what should be done and what should be said around her! I know what she's been through and I know perfectly well what kind of a life she should live from now on. One that has nothing to do with that life before... and especially one that has nothing to do with the Hitokiri Battosai. So how can I be near her if I have not completely destroyed that man yet? _

And in the darkest corner of his mind, he knew that it was only because of her that he was even trying. Without that direction and the incentive she gave him, he would have stayed drowned in a pool of blood and moonless nights. So it was to her that he owed everything he had, everything that he actually felt compelled to reach for now. Those things that were dead and out of sight for a man like the one he used to be. But he actually dreamed lately, his nights torn between battles and peace. He dreamed of simple things that others came upon easily in their lives; of quiet moments and joyful outbursts; of wandering the town without the insistent pressure of eyes watching and knowing; of spending an afternoon doing nothing at all without the intrusion of the past to color it; of everything that the girl was privileged to, and the heightening of the glimpses she shared with him.

Sighing, he stood, making his own way out of the room and exiting the house through the front door, the night air hitting him with the slight chill of the wind. Moisture filled the air with its heady scent as he paced further down to the tree line, the strong breeze and thick darkness speaking of the coming storm on the horizon. A rumble of noise barely touched the range of his senses, and he briefly welcomed the distraction.

Storms called to an inner emotion he felt only at their coming, when the rains were still building in the clouds and the atmosphere crackled with energy. It was a primitive jerk of feeling in his chest and gut, telling him to run to the center and join in the deadly dance. It was appealing, the destructive neutralism of its life filled death. The way it lashed out at everything or nothing, the harsh growling echoing through his body and urging him to respond.

It was frightening as well, the pull not unlike the madness of the hitokiri. The allure of that lifestyle and its heady power a horrible prerequisite to what he dealt with daily. Exasperated, he raked a hand through his hair. _And how is it, old man, that I am supposed to forgive and forget if everything that I think and do reminds me of what I once was and what I once did? You tell me because I sure as hell can't figure it out! If you're so all knowing, Master, then you explain it to me! You help me! I would love to spend my days training with her... I would love, LOVE, to devote my entire being to making her happy, to letting her lead me around and succumbing to her every whim. And how can I ignore her? There is no __**ignoring**__ when her ki surrounds me with its calming strength, infusing me with peace and acceptance, calling to me like the voice of a siren to forget and come play. I can't ignore her... I just feel compelled to fall asleep, to burrow deep within the promise of comfort and slumber like a contented cat in the sunshine._

Lightning flashed, momentarily whitening all within his vision, making night look like day, the loud after boom of the thunder shaking the leaves in the trees. A thrill raced through him at the challenge, his stance automatically lifting to the balls of his feet, his hand going to his hip for the comforting feel of his hilt... Except it wasn't there, and the sword was no longer comforting.

_Hiten is no longer soothing to me with the feel of such a tainted sword in my hand. Every move and step has been integrated into a situation that has required me to kill. All I have ever thought about in association with it is taking life... Is there possibly some way to take it and use it like it was meant to be... in my mind? Is there a way that I can do like my Kaoru is doing... without creating the whole of another style? To rework the thinking of my mind so that I can protect and save instead? How can I with the sharp edge of a sword in my hand? A piece of metal that is addicted to the taste of blood? What way is there for me to come about such a miracle?_

Thunder roared closer overhead, shaking him from his thoughts finally with the sluggish realization of something he should have thought about much earlier. Even as the sound brought about a certain degree of fear in his heart, it was nothing like the shear terror that seemed to affect his Kaoru during the short bursts of summer storms. Turning back to the house and the light shining his way back to the porch, he walked quickly to the shelter... from the rain and his darkening thoughts.

The inside was dark, the other inhabitants finding solace in their separate beds while he battled his demons alone. His feet took him almost automatically to her room, his hand lifting without will to the shoji so he could step inside and sleep in his familiar setting by the wall. Tonight, however, her words echoed in his mind and his arm stilled. _'I'm not a child...'_ Indeed, not anymore, and while he had always been careful and respectful of her privacy and the time it took for her to change for bed... it seemed to be a much sharper issue to pay attention to now. It would not due to walk into a young woman's bedroom so unannounced, especially at night... but he did not want to knock and risk the chance of waking her either.

Stilling his body and his breathing, he searched the room for her ki and the soft breath of her sleeping figure. Instantly he could feel her warm ki already wrapped around him and belatedly he wondered when it was that he stopped actually noticing the occurrence. It seemed to be relaxed, though, a lethargic tangle of threads hanging loosely off his own with a show of pleased complacency. Grinning in amusement, with himself as well as her, he shook his head and pushed aside the door to walk in and settle himself as quietly as he could against the wall near her.

He was thankful that she was asleep, and that the soft rumbles of thunder outside had not disturbed that wonderful dreamland of peace away from her. Each growl made him worry, though, each twitch of her muscles and whimper of her breath twisting his gut so that he could not find anything close to even a light resting from the world. Emotions swirled tightly within him, his turbulent thoughts not allowing him the slumber he so desperately wished for. For besides the unworthiness and never ending search for forgiveness and atonement, there was a loneliness that he dealt with while away from her. All those months gone from her side made him want to hold on and not let go. Instead, though, he ended up pushing her away, and in some part of him he knew it was more out of a selfishness than because he thought he wasn't good enough.

Because though he would never admit it, he didn't care. He did not care if he was good enough or not. She was his. Always would be. Never anybody else's. Pushing her away happened because he could not think when around her. He could not come to terms with anything while drowning in warmth and fond affection, comfort and acceptance of anything, everything. She was so bright and he could only stare in awe.

_Which is what I'm doing now isn't it?_ Laughing at himself for falling under her spell again, he adjusted his limbs to a more cozy position, laying his head back against the wall and looking down his nose at the curled figure on the floor. Sleep tugged at his lashes stubbornly as he amiably fought against it, wanting to watch and assure himself a little longer... that the storm would not disturb her and that she was really sleeping near him again. Finally allowing them to fall, a smile curving his face, one last fleeting thought drifted across his conscious, the finishing turn of his mind knocking up the dust of well-worn observations. _Kirei_.

x

White flashed against the backs of her eye-lids, warning the blue irises beneath of the sound to come, even as her tired mind could not comprehend the sign. Soon enough a loud clap rattled the window panes and the floor boards beneath her, making her body jump harshly with the fear it ripped through her heart. On a sharp intake of breath she jerked herself out of her futon, fighting the sheets that tangled around her legs for freedom, only an irrational terror registering within. When they would not release her, her movements became next to hysterical; fingers tearing at the material, legs kicking madly, her voice finally catching and squeaking out of her throat. Five years of training under her belt and none of it came to mind, nothing calming to save her sanity in that moment... Nothing until the firm fingers of her Kenshin wrapped securely around her flailing arm, his other arm pulling her against his chest.

"Daijoubu... daijoubu. You're safe, little one. It can't hurt you." Soothing words whispered softly to her ears, warming her forehead and moving her bangs with each puff of air. Frantically she latched onto his voice, her hands curling into his shirt as she tried to calm her breathing, her lips parted and her lungs heaving from the exertion. More wordless sounds of comfort hummed from his throat as he released her wrist to help untangle her legs. Carefully pulling the blanket away, he held back an affectionate laugh at the way she instantly curled her limbs so that she was closer to him.

"I have you, Kaoru. Don't worry." Her heartbeat still thumped dangerously in her chest, making his own twist with concern and sorrow at her continued fear. She nodded at his words, though, her fingers adjusting in the material of his shirt as she swallowed, her haggard breathing stopping for a moment before picking back up its loud tempo. Turning his head so that his cheek lay on her hair, he ran his hand up down her back and waited out the return of her rational thinking.

"Gomen... nasai... I should... be used to it... by now, ne?" Talking between breaths, she wiped hastily at the reflexive tears on her face, slightly ashamed of the one and only fear she could not overcome.

"Don't apologize... not to me." Pulling away so he could look in her face, he smiled encouragingly. "And you will overcome it, someday. You just haven't found the weakness in it yet." Violet eyes watched as the indigo in front them went blank, pulling within themselves and closing off with the mystery of her thoughts. Brows furrowing together with confusion, he called her name in question, relaxing when she smiled tremulously back.

"You're right, Kenshin. Everything has a weakness, ne?" Her smile turned brighter, making his own return curve of the lips take on an unsure tilt. There was something there that he could not quite figure out, a secret joke that only she was getting. Shaking it off warily, he changed his grip to help her lay back down.

"You should go back to sleep." She protested, like he knew she would, but he insisted, and she laid back down reluctantly. "I'll be right here, little one. So don't worry."

Kaoru watched as he took his place by the wall once again, his eyes open and alert and catching her own with a gentle violet warmth. She was safe, that was a given in this home, but she was not comforted. Still very much a child, she needed the assurance of touch and not the emptiness of the thin blanket. But she endured it, or tried to, closing her eyes tight against the sounds of the storm outside, curling in on herself as much as she dared without worrying Kenshin any more than she already had. It didn't help, though, and when her eyes snapped open at the next close boom of thunder, she gave up her charade and clawed her way out of the bed and to his solid presence.

Without a word she laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his torso, her iron-like grip telling him that he was not going to talk her back into her own bed again. Brushing a hand over her hair he assured her that he would not, loosely circling her within his embrace and sighing lightly at the abating of emptiness from his heart.

A long moment of stillness pressed in on them, the calming of the storm promising a hellish fury still to come, and his thoughts returned heavily to that argument he had endured with his master. _"...but she is still very much a child in her emotions, baka. She doesn't understand why you distance yourself."_ _Do you think I ignore you, little one? Is that why you have been so unstable around me? I don't mean to hurt you._

"Gomen nasai... Kaoru." Her heavy form stiffened against him, her own wariness of his words showing through to him. "I seem to have been ignoring you, ne?"

There was a painful silence after his whispered confession, his plea for forgiveness, and his gut twisted like it always did when she was quiet. Knowing that her silence was the biggest clue to her hurt than any string of words.

"Hai..." Came the soft reply, the shake of her voice telling him what he had hoped against... that she did believe he was ignoring her, shrugging her presence off like it was nothing to him.

"I do not mean to... it's just..." More excuses... _my life is filled with excuses for her... can I not just tell her the truth?_

"Daijoubu. I understand..." Heart trembling at her half lie, she resigned herself to the inevitable pile of secret hurts she endured.

"Sometimes... understanding in our heads is easier than understanding in our hearts, ne? Our feelings don't give up so easily." Kenshin smiled at her slightly shocked upturned face, his understanding of her emotions surprising her.

"Hai." Agreement was all she could give, and she smiled in return when he tightened his grip.

"It's easy for us old people to forget that, though, little one. So just be patient with us."

Laughing at his teasing remark, she stuck her tongue out at him before laying her head back down and sighing in contentment. _Kenshin doesn't want to ignore me, and doesn't realize he even is when he does. It's this problem of his that's keeping him occupied. _Yawning she burrowed harder into his chest. _I wonder if... it would be ok... if I... helped... him..._ Consciousness drowning under the deepness of sleep once more, she let her thoughts trail off as she concentrated instead on the steady rhythm of his heart.

x

Kaoru frowned down at the shaking of her hands, the twisting of her gut telling the extent of her nervousness and fear of rejection... again. After that past week, she no longer felt the confidence of victory like she had at the beginning of it. Instead she could only register an urgency, a need to accomplish something before Kenshin left the day after next. Everything depended on the last man she was going to see... and he was only last because she knew somewhere in the back of her mind that there was no way someone as notorious and masterful at his technique would ever consent to do what she was going to ask. Throughout her entire search, she had hoped that somewhere along the line someone would agree to help her before she even came close to **his** door... but now...

Looking up at the sign hanging menacingly above her head, she swallowed and wiped her hands on the pant legs of her hakama. Her outfit was purposeful, her wish to be taken seriously driving her to think out each and every detail of her inquiry, including her appearance. Dressed traditionally, she thought it brought a certain respect and honor to the pleading she was about to introduce into the life of a man probably three times her age.

Clenching her fists determinedly, she walked to the door of the shop and entered, ignoring the passing looks of those still outside in the sunlight, focusing instead on adjusting her eyes to the darker gloom within.

Swords of every color and size hung along the walls around her, taking her breath momentarily away as she stared in awe at their beauty. They were all perfect, shiny, clean... not a fingerprint on the lacquer of their sheaths to mar their majesty. Ties wrapped around to hang gracefully off their brilliant lengths, the sharp color and cunning weaving complimenting the deadly forms of each. Eyes catching on the bright red and black weaving of one, she caught herself reaching out to touch it, pulling her hand away quickly before tucking it behind her back to resist the temptation. Her teeth pulled at her lip as she temporarily forgot her mission, running bright sapphire irises along the curved edges and taking in the pure strength of each carefully etched detail.

"You are wise not to touch, girl."

Kaoru jumped and spun around, the grace she showed in such a maneuver not missing the observation of the large man behind her, and before she could fully register his height, she was bowing low in respect.

"Gomen nasai, they are all so beautiful..." Letting her voice trail away, she cleared her throat, risking a glance upward at the stern eyes of the other. "I was hoping..."

"How old are you girl? Ten? Eleven?"

"I'm twelve." Irritated at his change of subject and for guessing a younger age than she was, she straightened to give him her answer, her eyes narrowing slightly.

"Much too young to be admiring a weapon that is meant for death. Run along and enjoy the afternoon." Turning away from her, the man made his way to the counter in the back, the smell of noodles drifting to her nostrils as well as the slightly bitter tang of sake.

"I would love to sir... but my afternoon is already dedicated to another's enjoyment." Walking after him, stubbornly refusing to give up when he had not even allowed her the chance to ask... she returned his words as politely as she could, not wishing to jump the gun.

"Wouldn't it make more sense to spend it with them, then?" Sitting down on the stool behind the counter, he picked up his bowl and chopsticks, turning the page of a paper on the wooden surface.

"But he cannot enjoy the afternoon... nor the evening, night or morning... even if I am with him, sir. He has... other, more important things on his mind."

The tone of her voice betrayed her sorrow at admitting her unimportance in comparison, and he lifted an eyebrow in inquiry.

"So you wish to relieve him of these burdening thoughts?"

"Hai."

"And this has brought you to my doorstep? What kind of a man would enjoy his afternoon better with anything that I have for sale?" Curious now with the polite talking girl in his shop, the man crossed his arms and leaned back into the wall behind him.

"Well... sir... the kind that has spent too many dark nights... hiding in the shadows." Voice softening with words that she had never really spoken with anyone before, Kaoru lowered her eyes to the bottle of sake, wishing to escape the intent gaze trained on her.

"A soldier then. Believe me, girl, a man like that would rather spend his time in the presence of such an innocent child than with the emptiness of the steel around here."

"But you don't understand! I have to help him see or I won't get to spend time with him... and I don't want any of the steel you have here." Voice hardening with decision and halfway bitter with his accusation of childhood, she felt her fingers fist again, her forehead wrinkled in agitation.

"Then you shouldn't have stepped in here, girl... by all means leave." Rightfully angry at her outburst and rude declaration of enmity towards his work, he turned away from her, promptly ready to forget about her existence when she stuttered again.

"I... I was hoping you could make me a different sword... I could pay you... maybe not a lot... he would know if I did... but I promise I'll get you all of it." Expectant, yet fearful, she tugged at the sleeve of her gi, waiting for his refusal, or the laugh of disdain she had grown used to. What she wasn't ready for was his curious questioning of what she had in mind. "Well," Looking up with wide eyes, she swallowed and twisted her fingers in the material tightly. "a... a sword with no... no blade... would be preferred." Her teeth clicked shut when his laughter finally burst free, cheeks reddening with anger and a slight shame that this great man was making fun of her ideas.

"What would be the use of a sword with no blade, young one? Why, you couldn't even kill anyone with it."

"That was the point, sir."

"Iie... such a sword would be point-_less_."

"My apologies..." Jaw quivering with the weight of her failure, she made herself politely give her farewell... but failed utterly against her raging temper. "I guess I thought the great Arai Shakku would not be averse to such a challenge. Good day, sir." Turning her back, she made her way to the door, holding in the sniff against her tears until she was past the solid barrier.

"Girl... you are a wonder to be sure... but what makes you think such a weapon would make this man of yours happy?" Stilling in surprise at his question, she turned. "A soldier has no use for a sword that cannot kill... what makes you think he is different?" When she did not answer him, her back stiff with pride at his own stabs of fact, he sighed. "At least tell me his name... you have peaked my curiosity with your strange request."

Wide eyes finally finding him again, she worried her lip between her teeth, wondering if her Tousan and Kenshin would forgive her this one time for letting his name slip. She was not supposed to tell anybody that she was connected to him in any way, but... if it might secure the chance that she could help him, then the consequences would be nothing in comparison.

"His name... is Himura Kenshin, sir... and he has no desire to kill anymore." Eyes lowered to await his reaction, she wondered only belatedly if anyone even knew him by that name. Not when he was only ever known as Hitokiri Battosai. As the silence stretched and her shoulders slumped with the weight of worry and impatience, she finally looked up into the dark eyes staring at her with a slight wonder of their own... and that continuous curiosity.

"I had heard rumors, but they were vague... I never thought they could ever be true."

"They are very much so, sir. Kenshin does not kill anymore."

Arai huffed out a breath of amusement at her assumption over his disbelief, missing the fact that he was talking not about the Battosai's vow, but about her. Whispers spoke many different tales, that he had taken her from the grips of a dead woman to keep as his own; that she was a whore he'd picked up during the war; a warrior woman that fought alongside him; his master's child; his child... and many more... but they all agreed that she was beautiful, and that he was entirely devoted to her. He had never thought she would be an innocent child with the makings of a samurai, the grace at which she walked speaking of discipline, her eyes telling of maturity.

"Come to the back... ano... I'm sorry, I missed your name..."

"Kaoru... Kamiya Kaoru."

"Alright, Kaoru-san, if you would be so kind as to follow me... I think I have something that will fulfill your request."

Eyes lighting with wonder and expectancy, she smiled at him, making his own smile broaden as he discovered a piece of why the Battosai would wish to keep her. Leading the way to the darker room in the back, he knelt to pull up two of the floorboards and feel around until the rattle of something knocking into his fingers brought him back up. Blowing dust off the wrapping, Arai handed the cloth covered length to the girl, watching her eyes widen with the weight of it before untying the end and helping her pull the blade from its sheath.

"Will this work?"

"It... it's perfect."

Laughing, he carefully snapped it back into place, retying the strings before resetting the floorboards. "Then it is all yours."

"R-really?" Suddenly breathless, she pulled it into her chest as if she were afraid he would take back his words and rip it from her fingers.

"Hai... Himura-san deserves more, but I am afraid that is all I can apparently give him without seeming offensive."

Hopping slightly in place, she smiled in excitement. "Thank you so much, Arai-sama. Thank you." Turning in place she spun a three-sixty when she realized her rudeness. "Oh, here." Trying to balance the heavy length of the long sword in one hand she pulled at the pouch tied to her belt with the other, lifting its round weight to him in offering. "This is all I have right now, but I can get more to you later..." She trailed off when he shook his head and walked around her.

"Consider it a gift, Kaoru-san. That it has actually found a home and an owner of such great skill is more than I thought it could ever accomplish. I would be honored if he would accept it as his weapon."

"But..." Walking after him into the main room, she stood uncertainly next to him while he returned his attention to the leftover food and the news of the city.

"Shouldn't you be going, girl... don't want the afternoon to waste away without enjoying it now."

Smiling tremulously, she bowed again, both hands wrapped securely around the gift pressed to her chest. "Arigato, Arai-sama... I will never forget you... and Kenshin thanks you as well." Practically running to the door with giddiness, she slid to a stop when he called out one last time.

"If you ever have any problems, make sure you bring it back here... don't go to some half-rate smith that can't tie their shoes in the morning. Besides, I might have something better for you if you return."

Nodding her understanding, she hastily bowed again, and darted out the door, missing the amusement that twinkled his eyes and the laughter he shared with himself.

x

Hiko looked up from the table where he was sharing a late lunch with himself to find his little dragon standing before him, breathing heavily. The length of a long sword was pressed into her chest, covered honorably by a silk cloth of jade green. Sapphire eyes were lit with excitement and impatience as she scanned the room quickly, obviously looking for someone other than himself. _Wonder who that would be?_ Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, he lifted a brow and cleared his throat.

"I suppose you're not looking for food."

"Tousan, have you seen Kenshin?" Still ducking her head around the corners of the doors leading into the room he was in, Kaoru asked the question breathlessly, shifting the weight of the katana in her hands. Her muscles were burning from her run up the mountain, but she was ignoring them for now, too eager to show Kenshin the gift she had for him.

"He's out in the glade." Before the words were fully out of his mouth, Kaoru was running back out the door, only stopping when he yelled after her. "Girl... come here." Indecision and irritation washed over her face, before she walked back to him, handing him the sword reluctantly when he reached for it with one large hand. Wryly she noted how the heavy metal didn't even faze him when she dropped it fully into his palm, and she envied the strength he possessed.

Hiko carefully untied the strings of the ceremonial cloth, noting the dust still clinging lightly to it and the contrast it gave to the dark weaving of the hilt it concealed. Quirking a smile at the way she tapped her foot as he took his time, he pulled the blade free gently, his smile dropping at the revealing of what was beneath. Shaking himself free of his stupor after several seconds, he snorted rudely before slamming the sheath back over it, tying the strings with a shortness to his actions and handing the thing back over to the girl.

"Baka."

Kaoru frowned at his assessment before kicking him in the thigh and glaring at him. Laughing loudly, Hiko pulled her into a hug and kissed her briefly on the forehead.

"You're too nice to him, little dragon..." Shaking his head again, he let her go. "Get out of here... I'm sure he's still sitting around waiting for someone else to figure it out for him, so you won't have to worry about searching too hard."

Pursing her lips at his idea of affection, Kaoru leaned in to kiss him fondly on the cheek. "Love you too, Tousan." Bounding quickly away, she left the dark eyes of her adopted father to watch after her with awe and a certain degree of surprise.

_Only a child would think of something so simple._ Lifting a hand to his cheek, his smile turned smaller with pride.

Kenshin's shoulder muscles relaxed without warning in the middle of his meditation, his hope to clear his mind seeming to finally pay off. Sighing at the way the world quieted and the breeze cooled the sweat on his skin from the hot summer sun, he focused on the whisper of grass brushing against one another, the gentle click of the branches surrounding him. Peaceful and free, his burden lifted for the moment, he willingly drowned himself in its comforting embrace, wondering only slightly at what could have been the cause of this delightful breakthrough. Smiling lightly, he let his thoughts drift to where they willed, not really surprised yet somehow amazed that they caught snugly on the girl.

_Kaoru..._

Pinned now on her, he felt the loose weaving of her ki tickling his senses, pulling at his heart and wrapping softly around his body, cushioning the air around him and intertwining with the slightly darker tint of his own. Startled that she had snuck up on him, he opened his eyes and stared incoherently at the emptiness in front of him. _But..._ Turning glazed eyes to his left he found her kneeling next to him, waiting patiently for his attention to focus clearly on her, her blue eyes only slightly subdued with a seriousness he was not quite used to... and had not seen there in years.

"Kaoru?"

Only then noticing the katana in her lap, he watched as she answered not in words, but with the offering of its hilt, laying the sheath across her right arm while her left held it steady. Hesitant and unsure, he darted his gaze back to her face, searching her irises for something other than that patient calmness, but finding only the slight tilting of her lips as encouragement. Hands lifting from the forgotten long sword in his own lap, Kenshin reached for the tie on the wrapping, his shaking fingers taking longer to loosen the knot than necessary.

As the cloth slid away with the knot, silk slithering with a sigh off the rougher material beneath, his nervousness seemed to grow. Questions built within his mind as to what his Kaoru was thinking, why she would bring something like this to him. Indecisive, he paused again at the sight of the clean hilt, the dark grey weaving giving way only for the steel grey it covered. Eyes trailing further down to the loose green silk, it was contrasted by the mauve of the sheath, the white ties at the top giving texture to grip.

"I..."

"Do you trust me Kenshin?" Intent yet open, her head tilting slightly to the side, she asked with her eyes as well as her soft voice, the inquiry more informative for him than for her.

"Of course."

"Then don't be afraid."

Reassured by her teasing words, he gripped the hilt firmly with his right hand, his left arm lifting to mirror her so that he could brace the weight of the blade on the sleeve of his shirt.

"Be careful."

The hurried words made him pause, then pull the sword free with a renewed sense of curiosity, eyes widening as he thought twice about laying the length across his thinly protected skin. _The blade's on the wrong side! Where did she...?_

"Well? What do you think?" Breathless now with the excitement she had been restraining, she looked earnestly up into his face, taking in every shift of surprise and the darkening of an emotion she wasn't sure of in his eyes. When he didn't answer, she began to stutter, uncertain of what to do or say to fill the silence she really couldn't read. "It's not what I originally had in mind, but I thought it would work almost as well... I mean I guess I can see why you could need a blade at some point just in case, for other stuff and everything, but I really don't think you'll need it. I mean what are you going to do, chop wood with it or something? That's ridiculous and slightly undermining for it..."

"Kaoru..." Stopping, her eyes finally lifting to notice the amusement in his own, she smiled at her own silly babble and bit her lip. "It's perfect... but where did you get it?"

Laughter dying under contrite uneasiness, she ducked her head and cleared her throat to rid it of the sudden dryness. "Arai-sama said that it was a gift for you... that you deserved more but it was all he could give that would be of any use."

"Arai...? Arai Shakku?" Astonishment filled his voice at the knowledge she had just given. That the best sword maker in the country had just given him, _given_, a sword because a young girl had_…_ "Kaoru, how in the world did you get this from _him_? He didn't just walk up to you and hand it over did he?" _I hope not because that would mean he would have known who she was and how she was connected to me before hand._

"Oh no." Shaking her head she hurried to reassure him, rushing too quickly and forgetting that maybe she should think twice about her own words. "I asked him when I went to his shop this afternoon. I wanted him to make you a new sword, but he actually had this one lying around in the back of the store. He said it would be an honor if you would use it because he thought it would never be of any use to anyone. I think he thought it was a failure or something. But he was more than happy to let me have it when I told him... that..." _Oh... whoops..._ Wincing at her own folly, she looked at Kenshin warily, hoping that he wouldn't get mad about the information she had just given away to the man.

"Uh huh." Pushing the blade back into the safety of the sheath once more, Kenshin leaned over to wrap an arm around the slumped figure of the girl. "Kaoru... you know you should really be more careful." Keeping his voice soft yet firm, still very much aware of the fight he had started a week before, he chided her gently. "Just because he is a master smith, does not mean he will be a good person like Hiko-sama. You are lucky that he was kind, by the sound of it, and... and did not use your connection to me for... other reasons... ok?"

"Hai..."

"From now on... don't tell anybody... do you understand... not unless I am with you to make sure that you will be ok."

"'Kay."

Smiling at the pout of her lip, he tweaked her nose to try and work out a smile. "...Arigato, little one... you are too nice to me."

"So I've heard." Mumbling under her breath, she smiled at his confused look, before handing the entire sakabato over to him, slipping the cloth all the way off and biting back the laugh that wanted to break free at the shock written plainly on his face.

"It's heavy."

"Hai... try running up the mountain carrying that thing. I think the sheath's metal, too." Reaching out a finger, she tapped it on the hard surface, driving her theory home with the metallic chink it produced. "I guess he figured you might need all the help you could get if you are fighting with a reversed-blade sword."

"Maybe." Turning it over and testing the feel and entire weight in his palm, he found that he liked how it fit naturally in the curve of his fingers. It felt right to hold it. Entranced with the new weapon in his hand, he jumped when small fingers lifted the old one out of his lap, tilting his head around to watch as she slipped it inside the ceremonial cloth and tied it neatly.

"Now that you have a new sword, your old one can retire in peace." Smiling, she stood to her feet and turned back to the house. "You have all afternoon, Kenshin. You should enjoy it." Trekking back towards the house, she made it to the tree-line before looking back, smiling in relief at the active figure behind her... running through katas like they were second nature.

x

"Well?"

Kaoru stopped on her way down the hall to the room that Kenshin kept his own stuff in, twisting her head to look back over her shoulder at the large frame of her father.

"Kenshin won't be home until late, Tousan. He's training in the glade." Smiling brightly she moved to walk on, then hesitated with a new idea. Turning completely around, she held up the sword in her hands parallel to the ground in offering. "Will you teach me how to clean a sword, Tousan?"

x

A/N: Uh yeah... hope that you liked it... and I'm sorry that I keep jumping back and forth in time, but I promise that there will be only one more and that won't be for awhile yet... and I bet you know which time that is... heeheehee... anyway, next few chapters will be about the present time and the progressing of the story... and the relationships, so hang in there. Any questions, always remember to ask and I will do my best to remember to answer... Alright, next chapter... I think I'm going to do a little S&M... yeah... it's their turn.


	15. Male Tendencies

Hey, so I forgot to mention something in my last chapter that I wanted to... and since nobody said anything in their reviews I was hoping somebody noticed. In the manga, I found it funny that there are some places that Nobuhiro Watsuki shows Kenshin chopping small pieces of wood with his sakabato. Kinda silly and I'm sure it was meant to make a person laugh, but yeah... so that was why I had Kaoru say something so off the wall about needing a blade... Also, I finally re-posted all of the chapters with their corrections. YAY! Although I can still find more errors when I reread them... grrrrr... This chapter's song just struck me as funny because it's close to how I would view Sano and Megumi's relationship.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it... except what's mine.

x

"You can slap me in the face

And you can scream profanity.

Leave me here to die alone but

I'll still follow you home."

_Follow You Home_ Nickleback

x

Chapter 15: Male Tendencies

**~Present~**

Drifting on the edge of dreams and reality, Sano tried to shake the knocking in his ears. Head pounding with a hangover he should not have indulged the night before, eyes burning with the exhaustion of only two hours of sleep, he rolled over to stare incoherently at the red numbers of his beat up alarm clock. _What the hell? _Body weighed down and unresponsive to the urgent need to move, instincts telling him to get up, now, he fought the world of illusions to focus on the thoughts teasing the edge of his consciousness. There was something there... something he needed to notice, to realize its importance...

Eyes heavy, he let them drift shut before the loud knocking sounded in his ears again, this time the forceful nature of the noise driving home the urgency in his mind. _Get up Sagara!_ Rolling off the futon to the cold wooden floor, he pushed his muscles to work, to take him to his feet and ignore the way the world spun around him. The darkness throwing shadows at him to try and trick his imaginings with danger. Holding a hand to his throbbing skull, he braced the other on the wall, stumbling through his apartment to the door on the other side of his small living/kitchen area. Throwing the bolt, he turned the knob to start the slow process of bringing it open, when it was suddenly knocked aside, requiring him to either duck back or get struck in the face by the corner of the wood. Not about to encourage his headache to expand, he jerked backwards, barely keeping his feet under him while trying to concentrate on the figure bursting into his home.

Long, dark hair whipped around the tall length of the person as they twisted hurriedly to shut the door behind them, fingers working quickly on the locks so that they were now shut in together.

"What the hell is going on?"

Fingers lifted to press over his lips, effectively shutting him up so that the noise of their combined breathing was all that filled the room. Long moments later the sound of loud footsteps racing down the hall echoed through the walls, hushed voices whispering angrily back and forth, accusing and irate. The body in front of him trembled at the heat of their declarations, fearful of what they promised, and Sano felt his confusion grow even as his mind cleared from the aftereffects of sleep and alcohol. It wasn't until the pursuers were a distant memory did the other release his mouth, a sigh of relief drifting through the air as they leaned back into the wall, moonlight from the window lighting tired cinnamon eyes.

"Fox? What are you doing here?"

Lifting her head to look him in the eyes she watched him take in the yellowing bruises on her face, the healing of time taking the harshness of her beating out of her wounds. Two weeks had passed since she had last seen him, the incident at the bar giving her much to think about, and she had realized how good of a friend he truly was to her. Nobody else had ever offered her help, a way out of the mess she was in. Even though he truly did not know the extent of her problem, he was willing to help her. And on this night, she was counting on that offer.

"I... I didn't know where else to go." Letting her head drop again, she crossed her arms over her chest to hold in any kind of warmth she could. Though it was now the beginning of March the wind still bit sharply at everything it touched, and was especially cruel to those without a jacket like she.

Stepping forward uncertainly, unsure if she was crying or just cold, Sano lightly placed a hand on her shoulder in question, jumping in surprise when she buried her head against his chest. "Hey... whatever it is... you're safe now..." Movements slow and cautious, he returned her embrace, hoping he was comforting her since he was not an expert in the area.

"Everything happened so fast... the warning, then the yelling and packing... with all the confusion, I just ran. I knew I couldn't stay, I couldn't go with him... I can't stay there another minute." Shivering harder, she turned her head into his chest to try and capture more heat to her exhausted and frozen body. Running from the other side of town with only the vague notion of where his apartment was, trying to remember the address when there had been no time to search for the hidden piece of paper, the only heat she had found was from her own sweat. A deadly heat that she knew would hit her when she finally slowed down.

"With your husband? Did he hit you again?" Words hardening with the mention of the man he hated, Sano tightened his grip, willing the men outside to return and burst through the door so he could beat something. When her head shook against him in negation, he relaxed only minimally, confusion clouding his thoughts when she went on to explain.

"He's... not my husband, Sanosuke... he's..." Swallowing the bile in her throat, fingers fisting unconsciously in hatred, she pushed herself out of his grip and looked away in shame. "I've lied to you."

"What do you mean? Who's been beating you?"

Brows tucking together in contemplation and shame, worry and fear, she took a deep, shaky breath and dove in head first. "...His name is Takeda Kanryu..."

"That drug-dealing scum-bag? What the hell are you doing with him? He's a worthless baby-killer, Megumi!" Everyone knew he sold his drugs to kids at a low price so they would be hooked on them at a young age, giving him a solid line of business, not to mention his ties with the Yakuza. The man was lower than dirt. Anger deflating at the tears that swam down her cheeks, his shock only grew when she nodded her head in agreement.

"Hai... I know..." Lifting her hands to her face, shoulders heaving with the sobs she could contain no longer after years of imprisonment, she let her emotions rule her this one time. "And it's all my fault. I'm the one responsible. I'm the one that... that makes it all possible."

"What do you mean?"

Head lowering further at the steel that crept into his voice, the way his feet stepped back away from her, she dropped her arms to her chest again. "I'm the only one that knows how to make the drug he sells. He... forces me to mix it for him on a daily basis, so he can provide all of his connections with it and they can sell it to the people on the streets. The rest of it... the better quality stuff... he sends to the Yakuza for their own personal use." Bitterness sat heavy on her tongue as she confessed her true occupation, a horribly opposite stance to that of her late family's. When nothing was said after her hitching breath trailed off into silence, she leaned back into the door and bit her lip in fear, shame, and sorrow. _Now he knows... and I don't think he wants to deal with something so poisoned... I should not have come here. It only endangers him... and at least I could have died a better person in his eyes if he never knew._

Megumi almost jumped when he moved suddenly away from her, across the room to another door standing open and swallowing what little light made it through the window. Desperate for his laughing friendship, to have back the playful banter they had shared before, to take comfort in the knowledge that she was still cared for by someone, she leapt after him, fingers reaching for the bare length of his arm. "Please... don't hate me... I... I didn't know what else to do. He was going to kill me."

One large hand fisted and shot out to knock into the wall, a resounding crack echoing through the room. Swallowing harshly, fearful of his abrupt violence, she froze in the middle of the room, staring with hollow eyes into the darker interior of his bedroom. It wasn't until he started pulling on clothes that she diverted her gaze, sanity returning with a vengeance at the realization that she had been talking to this man while he was half-naked. Only the low slung presence of his boxers keeping his modesty in check. Heat spreading thickly to her cheeks, she turned her body back to the front door. Eyes glued to its shape, mesmerized as she took a hesitant step forward.

He was getting dressed, but for what? To throw her to the wolves pacing hungrily outside? _I shouldn't have come here._ Mind repeating numbly she walked back over to the door in a daze. _He's angry, I should leave... I don't think I would mind if he struck me but... I could not take the look of disgust in his eyes while he did it._ Fingers wrapping around the knob, she twisted and pulled before freezing at the definite thumps of his feet returning from the other room.

"Here." Turning in surprise at the offering, she found him holding out a large jacket for her to take. Lifting her hands automatically to untangle it from his fingers she watched him turn once again away from her, his body striding carefully to the window in the small kitchen area.

"Well?" His voice was still hard, but with the outstretched shape of his arm held out in impatience she could do nothing but follow him. It wasn't until he pushed up the frame and threw one leg over the seal did she recognize what he was about. Hurrying a little at the fact that he was helping her get away from the men, even if he was not happy about it, she curled her fingers around his heavily calloused hand and climbed clumsily out onto the fire-escape.

Shivering unexpectedly at the chill in the breeze, Megumi pulled on the oversized jacket, zipping up the length that fell to her knees and pulling up the hood to protect her ears. With the brighter surroundings of outside, she took in the form of her companion in a doctor-like assessment, concerned with his own health since she seemed to be wearing his jacket. The bulky padding of a hoodie concealed his muscular upper body, however, and she let out her breath in relief. It would do, but with the dank feel and smell that was lingering in the air, she wondered for how long.

Sano led them down the squeaky rungs of the ladders, silently observing the shadows around them and in the alley far below the fifth story he lived on. He was much more serious than she was used to, and she offhandedly questioned how well she actually knew this man. His reactions, while slightly scary, were not what she had expected in the back of her mind. Anger and shouting were the reactions she was used to; not the controlled calculation she was observing.

At the bottom, she ducked behind his solid presence, mind racing with her options. Should she run from him as well? Should she leave and try to make her own way out of the city? Would he be even angrier at her for involving and then ditching him at the first possible moment? _I should take responsibility for my own actions... not hide behind someone that I have come to care for. _Bumping into his back at the mouth of the alley, she looked up curiously at the halt he had taken in his steps.

"Wha..." Hurriedly his body turned back towards her, and she sucked in a harsh breath as he flattened her up against the outside wall of the building next to them. Blinking rapidly at the face pressed close to her own she could only stare as his eyes focused not on her, but the running thunder of the men passing by... and she realized what he had done. With their bodies so close, and his head ducked into her own, they would look like any couple stopping to share their affections in the dark. Playing her own part, she threaded her fingers into the material of his sweater, aware of the heat they were sharing and the fact that she was getting to study the contours of his face with intimate detail.

When he pulled away again, he did not look at her, and the automatic lifting of her eyebrow was lost in his distracted state. Clearing her throat, she jumped after him, hurrying her small, delicate steps to accommodate for his longer, swinging stride, and trying to forget about the way his spiky hair had tickled her nose.

Several blocks later, she was lagging behind, her breathing heavy and her limbs quaking with the cold. A freezing drizzle had started to soak them through with its relentless onslaught, and she was beginning to worry about the sodden material of Sano's hoodie. It did nothing to block out the moisture like the jacket she had on did, and she was sure he was going to catch a cold if they did not take shelter somewhere warm. Minutes after this thought formed and dissipated in her mind he was stopping once again before the gate of a decent sized dojo, the sign hanging limply off the nails stating a style she had never heard of. Then, with a sort of shocked surprise and jealous wonder, she caught him pull out a spare set of keys from his pocket and fit one neatly into the lock, metal clinking gently from the inside telling them both that they were now allowed entry. Furrowing her brow in cautious curiosity, she followed him inside.

Walking steadily to the front door of the main house, Sano reached out without a thought and opened it with a jerk, stepping forward into the darker gloom that staved off his vision. There was no sound, no disturbance in the air that he could read when he froze, only the feel of a sharp point digging into his throat and the light reflection of a line of steel disappearing into the dark in front of him.

"What the fuck!"

"That was what I would like to know."

Furious, Sano took a step forward instead of back, his own thoughts now worried about his friend since he didn't recognize the voice of the man in front of him. A low growl stopped him again, with the firming pressure of the sword at his pulse point. Hardened mahogany finally caught on to the harsh violet gaze of the one in his way, and he narrowed his eyes at the dangerous look. "What have you done with Jouchan?"

"Sano?" A loud thump of footsteps echoed down the hall and then Kaoru was suddenly between them, one hand tugging at the sleeve of the sword-bearing man, her voice pleading with him to calm down. "Wait Kenshin! He's a friend." Violet irises flickered over to search the woman's face, a displeasure blooming there and hardening in such a way that Sano took another step forward, this time around the sword that was slowly lowering to the other's side. "I forgot to tell you that I gave him a key to the gate." The words were now rueful, unaware of the emotions they stirred. A sharp face tilted swiftly in the direction of the taller man once again, leveling a look at him from below the hard line of red eyebrows as he sheathed his weapon with a loud click.

"A useful piece of information. Especially if he insists on sneaking in at three in the morning."

Sano watched Kaoru stutter in confusion at his harshness and was suddenly tired of the act. Reaching out with a look of distrust, he wrapped a hand around the girl's arm and dragged her closer to him, surprised by the appearance of golden flecks in violet. Ignorant to the look on her Kenshin's face, Kaoru irritably smacked at him, throwing his hand off before growling and elbowing him in the gut.

"Sagara Sanosuke, what the hell are you doing?"

"Who the hell is he?"

"A friend staying in my house, and I would really appreciate it if you would not be so damn hostile." Crossing her arms and tapping her foot, Kaoru looked accusingly up at her long time friend. Spluttering in indignation, he pointed a finger at the smaller man.

"He's the one who shoved a sword in my face, I think I have every right to defend myself."

"But Kenshin doesn't know who you are. He was just trying to protect me. So it's my fault, and you can't blame it on him."

"Hell if I can't." Turning to the red-head, Sano pushed a finger into his chest. "Who the hell do you think you are anyway? If anybody's going to be protecting this girl right here it's me."

Bowing his head, Kenshin looked down at the finger pressing into his sternum, then angled his eyes far enough to catch Kaoru's through the threads of his bangs. Wide-eyed, Kaoru saw danger there and didn't know whether to be thrilled or horrified. _Definitely not thrilled, baka!_ Jumping frantically between them, Kaoru shoved hard on Sano's chest, her own balance shifting so that she was pushing back against Kenshin, his forehead leaning lightly into the base of her skull. Though she wished she could enjoy the contact, she forced herself to ignore it, letting her frustration burn into anger so she could try and save the situation that was spiraling out of control.

"Dammit! I think I can protect myself Sanosuke, and if you would just think with your brain every now and then you would know that he wouldn't be in my house, in his pajamas of all things, without my permission! So shut up and tell me what the hell you want!"

Kaoru felt more than heard the sigh from the man behind her, his being relaxing and his forehead resting more firmly against her; his breath ghosting down the nap of her neck and warming her skin. Shivering at the feel, she bit her lip and made herself stand still so she would not alert him before he realized that they were closer than the boundary he had made allowed for.

Sano took in the exchange with suspicion, the way the other was just barely touching her, like reassurance was needed and taken from her presence alone. Snorting irritably, he decided that there would be another time for this conversation, right now he needed Kaoru to accept the woman behind him. Reaching out a hand shortly, he led a silent Megumi into their view, placing a comforting hand between her shoulder blades as he took in the reaction from his friend.

"Kamiya Kaoru... this is Takani Megumi and..."

Kaoru's trained eyes found the bruises on her face and the tremble of uncertainty in her limbs, and before Sano could finish his informative speech she was jumping forward to wrap an arm around her shoulders. In a situation like the one she suspected, the woman would feel a lot more comfortable if they didn't discuss details just yet. Besides this gave her an excuse to divert attention away from the two protective idiots. "Well you just look positively soaked, don't you? Let's find something dryer to change into while Kenshin makes us a warm pot of tea." Darting a glance to him, she smiled when he nodded his head and returned the gesture, even if it was still wary and small.

"Hai, Kaoru-dono."

With the women gone, the two men stood in cautious silence, each eyeing the other, until they both conceded a draw for the time being. Bowing slightly, half mockingly, half in acknowledgment, Kenshin turned and walked quietly back down the hall.

x

_Kami-sama, the little raccoon has grown up... and doesn't look like a raccoon at all._ Sipping the hot tea in her hands gratefully, Megumi watched the others over the rim with a sharp and envious eye. The girl was accepting her tea from the red-head with a soft smile, her eyes lowering to watch her hands take it from him, missing the affection violet eyes played over her face, as well as the hard glance they stole to the other male in the room. _And my my does she still have quite the fan club._ Cinnamon irises straying to tilt in the direction of her escort, she felt herself frown at the look of distrust and irritation in his brown gaze. _He obviously does not know this man and his connection to the girl... does that mean she is playing them both? Or is there something else about him that I do not know of? _Pausing in her thoughts, she contemplated their interactions in the hallway, the easy camaraderie. _He cares for her, or he would not be so... protective... and she has to trust and care for him or he would not have a key to her home... _

"So, Sanosuke, what are you doing here in the middle of the night?" Sapphire eyes lifted to look curiously over the top of her own cup of tea, the long length of her braid curling over one shoulder.

"Well... your place was closer than mine." Lying easily, he downed his own tea and made a face at the taste of it, the sour alcohol still in his throat and stomach not mixing with the honeyed drink well. Megumi lowered her eyes at his words, thankful for the moment that he was not about to talk about the real reason, and wondering about his logic.

"What about your friend? From the looks of your clothes you walked here... why didn't you call a cab? She could have froze."

"I'm broke, whadya want me to do?"

"You know I would have paid for it you idiot. And if you actually kept a job you wouldn't have that problem."

Frowning he stood up. "Look, I'm tired, I'm hungover, I'm cold, and I'm not in the best mood. All I'm asking is you let us stay here tonight and you can yell at me all you want in the morning, ok?" Walking off to the door, mumbling under his breath, he slammed open the shoji and stomped down the hall.

"Hey! Stop making such a racket! You'll wake that brat! I don't want his grumpy pain in the ass joining in with yours!" Cracking her own tea cup down she stood as well. "Dammit Sanosuke! Get back here!"

As the door ricochet shut behind her, Kaoru ran down the hall after him, her anger heightening in a different way when he finally stopped by a far door, their ruse dropping now that they were alone. "Sano," Whispering softly, irises darting back to the cracked line of light where the other two were still sitting, she touched his arm lightly. "what's going on? She looks like someone's taken a disliking to her. Was she...?" Not wanting to finish that statement, the bile rising in her throat reminding her of the sick and helpless feelings such a situation could engender, she met his eyes with her own again and knew the real extent of his anger.

"Possibly... I don't know, but she is in trouble. I've known her for awhile. She comes by the bar and I buy her a drink, she's saucy and can be real bitch sometimes, but she's a nice person. A couple of weeks ago, though, she came in looking like she'd mouthed off to the wrong person... and tonight..." Shaking his head, he sighed. "It's nothing to worry about, Jouchan. I'm sure it's nothing more than a bad boyfriend... nothing I can't handle, right?"

Searching his face for a long, tense moment she finally sighed before cracking a grin and jabbing him in the ribs. "I guess you're right, for once. Look, I'm more than happy to let her stay here for a few days, let this thing cool down, and you can stay too of course, but I won't have you giving Kenshin grief, understand?"

"Who is he anyway? Really?" Lifting a brow at the way she looked away, he crossed his arms. "He doesn't sleep in your room does he?"

"Sagara Sanosuke!" Punching him in the chest, she glared up at his laughing face, her own grin breaking free as she backed up and pretended to pout. "That's really none of your business anyway." Smiling at his doubtful look, she pinched him and turned back to a different door a few feet down, opening it and pulling out bedding for two more. "But no... he doesn't sleep in my room... so shut up."

x

Sano looked left, then right as he slowly slid open the outside shoji in his room, pulling on the dry sweater he had left at Kaoru's place the last time he had stayed over. It was only an hour after they had arrived, but sleep was the farthest thing from his mind, and had been since **she** had showed up at his apartment. With eyes the softest tan he had ever seen in her handsome face, she had confessed her true predicament, and each tremor in her voice and tear on her face had angered him. Rage setting in further knowing how much it truly took for someone as strong willed as her to give in to such emotions. She had not gambled poorly when she had shown up at his doorstep in search of help.

Grinding his teeth together in returning fury he settled his russet colored gaze on the gate at the other end of the yard, knowing where his destination lay on the other side of it.

"It's a poor night for a walk, Sagara-san."

Jerking his head around in surprise, he found the short red-head leaning up against one of the posts behind him, astonishment sinking in when he realized he hadn't heard a sound. "I never did have good timing."

Chuckling lightly in amusement, Kenshin turned to look at him, the hilt of his katana coming into view. "Maybe your timing has more to do with other things?"

"Maybe my timing is my problem." Taking a warning step back towards him, mahogany eyes lowering questioningly to the long sword, he lifted them meaningfully back to the owner. "Are you planning on using that thing, or do I intimidate you?"

"I only draw this sword if I feel there is a reason to. Do I have reason to?"

"Listen, shorty, if anyone here has any reason to be wary and protective it's me. I don't know how much you think you know about Jouchan, but she's been **my** friend for at least eight years now and she's never mentioned you."

"Funny... she's never mentioned you either." Violet eyes shimmering on the edge of something dangerous, they narrowed to stare back in lazy anger.

Glaring in assessment, Sano finally grinned sardonically. "Well, she obviously trusts you, and if there's anything I know about Jouchan, she has good judgment and she can take care of herself. Sorry I can't stay and chat some more, but I've got that walk to take before sunrise."

There was a long pause as he made his way to the end of the engawa, stepping down onto the dirt below before Kenshin's soft voice questioned him. "Maybe you would like some company?"

Waving a hand over his head in dismissal he answered indifferently. "I'm not much for company. But maybe you can watch the girls until I get back."

Escaping finally out the gate, Sano made sure to shut it firmly and lock it behind him. The other man had the look of a fighter about him, hard eyes that spoke of battles only he knew of, but with the enemy that was after the woman staying there... it just made him feel better. Tucking the key back into his pocket, he took off down the misty sidewalk, street lamps dim and fuzzy in the freezing drizzle of rain. _Not the best night to take a walk at all. _

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his loose khakis, Sano ducked his head against the chilled wind and moisture, keeping his eyes to himself as he meticulously picked his way down the streets. The walk was going to be a long one, but with the anger in his veins, there was nothing that could cool it fast enough to save his target from the pain he wished to give.

Thirty minutes later, he rounded the last corner with relief and an abrupt trepidation at the scene before him. The gate to the mansion stood wide open, little trails of clothing and a couple knickknacks leading out of the driveway. Narrowing his eyes at the car tracks left by squealing tires, he followed them back to the house, the entire building lit up, no room left untouched by yellowing brightness.

It was too obvious, the tire marks leading the way out. Way too suspicious. _In his line of business, this kind of a man would have more than one way out of his house. So leaving out the front is not going to be what he does. No... especially without the key to his little business... He's not going to leave until he has Megumi._ Grunting low in the back of his throat, Sano strode straight up through the front doors, kicking them open with barely restrained rage. Posing inside the door jam, letting his eyes adjust to the brighter lights inside, he didn't feel compelled to react to the first man who attacked him. Merely taking the blow to his ribs with a sharp exhalation and tilting his head so that copper colored eyes bored into the face of a slightly husky bodyguard. Curling a lip when he backed away slowly, Sano jerked out a fist to punch him square in the jaw, clicking his teeth together and knocking him to the floor to stare at stars.

Another came at him from the left, dual daggers held flat against his forearms. Ducking back from one quick swipe, Sano kicked the fingers of the man's right hand, the resulting clatter resounding through the front room only seconds after he knocked the wind out of him. Letting him drop to the ground to join the first, he brought a foot hard across his face, his world blackening into unconsciousness.

Darting a heated gaze around the area, he continued forward to the bottom step of the stairs, marching up two at a time, quickening his pace when another man came out of the door at the top. Meeting him on the landing, with an elbow as a welcoming gift, Sano hissed in frustration at the pitiful fights, their strength not able to stand up to the teachings of his adopted father. Indifferent to the noise he made or the people he alerted, the tall brawler shoved his way past four more men with ease, leaving a broken trail of bloody bodies in his wake.

At the end of the hall voices were raised in anger, loud crashes echoing off the walls, followed by the irate screaming of a man. And from the tone of it, a spoiled, rich man... Growling in renewed fury, Sano marched directly to the wooden barrier, remembering in acute detail the bruises on a beautiful face and the fear in uncharacteristically soft eyes. Slamming open the door with a violent crack, Sagara Sanosuke only had enough time to register the five built men surrounding a smaller one bound to a chair... before the click of a gun sounded and fire seared through his gut.

x

Megumi lay silently on the futon in her guest bedroom, staring lifelessly at the blank wall in front of her. Everything was so quiet here, so calm and peaceful... and if she let herself she could enjoy its comforting embrace. But she couldn't... wasn't able to, not with the lives of so many destroyed with her knowledge alone. Not with the image of so many children wandering the streets in drugged senselessness, spreading violence and disease through needle and sex. Everything she had said to Sanosuke was a lie... every excuse she had made up to keep him from hating her a stab to the heart. Even after telling him the truth about herself, she had lied. Kanryu may have threatened her life, may have tempted her with freedom in exchange for her cooperation, but... she could have said no; should have said no. What did her life mean in comparison to those innocents? They still had a life to live. Even if she was free from his clutches... there was nothing left to her. No family; no friends; no future. They had everything.

_How could I have been so selfish? How could I think of nothing but staying alive? Death should no longer scare me... and I should have by all rights killed myself by now. I am shameful and have dishonored my family's name. I should have taken my life... especially after he... after he..._ One silent tear of anger and disgust trailed down her temple into her hair, her body curling in on itself as she suddenly wished for a bath. _I should have killed him and then myself... to rid the world of two evils._

Gasping softly in surprise when a soft knock sounded on the shoji, she sat up and stared at it in fear of the presence on the other side.

"Megumi-san, Kenshin will have breakfast made soon."

Relaxing at the cheerful voice of her host, thankful for the moment that she would not have to confront Sano just yet, she sighed before quietly acknowledging her invitation to come out and eat. Listening to her soft footsteps walk away, Megumi uncovered herself from the futon, smoothing out the hairs on her head, and looking down at the wrinkled state of her clothes. The raccoon had lent her something to sleep in since the set she had shown up in were completely soaked. As it was though, the pants were dragging the ground only slightly, while the oversized shirt sleeves hung past her fingers. _If it's this bad on me, I wonder what she looks like in it._ Amused at the thought, she finished her primping and exited the room.

The dinning area was already set and waiting for the five occupants to show. A young boy was sitting opposite of the girl, yawning and trying to keep his weight balanced on the cushion he was kneeling on. The girl had a worried look on her face, her eyes darting back down the hallway to the front door in hopes of someone appearing. Suddenly anxious, Megumi sat down next to the young boy and ignored his questioning glance.

"Where's Sanosuke?"

Blue eyes met her own dark ones, her brow furrowing before she dropped her gaze to her bowl, then lifted them once again to the door. "I don't know."

"Oh..." _He's left me here, hasn't he... Dumped me off on someone else so he wouldn't have to deal with me. I guess he did help me though. He brought me somewhere safe... for the moment anyway. I should be grateful for that much... _Letting her eyes drift down to the bowl in front of her, she crinkled her brow in confusion over the sting in her chest. _Oh what more did you want baka? For him to actually still care for something as tainted as you? Emotions such as those are dangerous, and are what got you into trouble in the first place... Caring for others only brings misery, and don't you forget it. You have lived long enough alone to not need to depend on such things, so stop it._ Sucking in a steadying breath, Megumi clenched her jaw and pulled herself together. The whole ordeal had her unraveling at the seams, and she was not used to being in such turmoil... so out of control of herself.

"Megumi-san?"

Looking up into worried blue eyes, she shrugged her shoulders coolly and brought her tea to her lips. "You seem to be offly worried about Sanosuke."

"Well of course I am. He disappeared last night." Answering in all honesty, Kaoru looked back at the nonchalant eyes of the older woman in confusion.

"In the middle of the night? Really?" Pouting and looking up at her through dark lashes, Megumi let a knowing gleam enter her eyes. "Poor Ken-san."

Eyebrows furrowing together, Kaoru froze in mid drink. "What do you mean?" Every cell in her body warned her to be cautious, but her temper was slowly sparking under the surface at the implied meanings.

"I'd just hate to think he went the night without a little... entertainment as well." Cinnamon irises slanted to the left and into a pair of frozen violet ones, a coy grin tilting her lips. "Oh... gomen nasai, Ken-san... I didn't see you there." Standing when he didn't move any further into the room, Megumi plucked the tray from his nerveless fingers. "Let me help you with that. The silly girl has you doing everything around here doesn't she?" Clucking her tongue, she kneeled down next to his seat, and began serving the food. "I suppose you don't get one thanks for your trouble either."

Kenshin found he could barely move as words he hadn't really wanted to hear crept through his brain... even if he knew, _knew_, they weren't true... couldn't be true. _You saw him leave with your own eyes, baka... and you slept outside her door. No one entered or left that room._ Letting out a long breath, he shifted his gaze to the stiff shoulders of his Kaoru, her posture easy to read. Even without the fiery feel of her ki slapping harshly against the walls. _Remember how she was before... Megumi-dono likes to bring out the worst in Kaoru._ Moving forward hesitantly, not really ready to be stuck in the middle of this fight, he settled himself on his cushion. As far from the fox as he could without falling off the other side.

Megumi smiled slyly to herself at his polite show of wanting distance, and studiously decided to ignore it. Leaning slowly into his space, she served him his meal and purposely let her eyes flirt from under her lashes. His own response was extremely uncomfortable, his muscles tense as if he was keeping himself from moving further away. Wanting to laugh, she instead smiled winningly, and lowered her eyes. "I would thank you, though, Ken-san. Maybe after breakfast..."

Startled from her suggestion by the loud slam of porcelain onto wood, three pairs of eyes darted to the angry woman on the other side of the red-head.

"There _is_ a child present, you know!" Barely keeping her voice from cracking into rage, she stared back into that cool brown, her blood heating more at her apparent indifference.

"Oh, I'm sorry... I forgot you were there, Kaoru-chan." Turning her attention back to Kenshin, her voice dropped back into a purr. "Maybe we should continue this conversation later then."

Grinding her teeth and reminding herself that she was letting her stay as a favor, Kaoru clenched her shaky fingers into a fist and balled them into her lap. But as she noticed perfectly manicured fingernails trail over the cloth of his sleeve her blood heated and her mind snapped. Standing abruptly, her knee catching the corner of the table and jerking it with a squeal to the side, she didn't even feel the pain, following the last thread of her reason out the door instead and it's frantic plea not to snap her little neck.

"What about breakfast, Kaoru-dono?"

"I'm not hungry!"

Yahiko, who had ignored the conversation after his first inclination that this new woman had to be masochistic or something, raised an eyebrow as the door crashed harshly into the wall, the track it was on rattling the wood severely. Turning his head to the dark eyed woman he didn't know, he watched her chuckle at the look that was probably written all over his face.

"You're trying to piss her off aren't you?"

Giggling modestly behind one hand, Megumi sat back on her heels and ignored the poor rurouni. "You certainly are a quick learner."

"Yeah, quicker than you." Smirking now that he had her attention, her hand dropping into her lap with a frown, he crossed his arms. "The last time I saw that look in her eyes I couldn't hold a bokken for a week."

"Hmph. It's not my fault she can't take a little competition. Isn't that right, Ken-san?" Curling her fingers once again in his sleeve, she ran one smooth pad over the skin of his forearm.

Kenshin, his attention still focused on the slightly crooked shoji, tilted his head deliberately towards her, his actions measured and careful. Grasping one slender wrist in his calloused grip, he forced her touch away from him. "I would appreciate if you would not touch me, Megumi-dono." Voice level and echoing the meaning in his irises, he bowed his head politely and stood from his own spot.

Sighing as he too disappeared, Megumi fluttered her hand in the air in dismissal. "All I was going to do is suggest helping with the dishes. I don't see what everyone's getting so worked up about anyway." Shifting herself back to her seat by the boy, she eyed him with interest as he gobbled down the rest of his food. "You can certainly put that stuff away can't you?"

x

Kenshin stood silently in the doorway to the training hall, watching his Kaoru once again work out the powerful swings of a kata, only this one she had taught herself. She hadn't noticed his presence yet, but then with the vengeful precision she was showing in each down stroke, he knew she was too angry to notice much of anything outside of her concentration.

Megumi-dono was really asking for a fight, and while he found it amusing on a certain level, he also found it annoying. Like he had a time before. It was not hard to decipher Kaoru and Megumi's recognition of one another, and for now it seemed they were content not to openly point it out. Which was fine with Kenshin as Megumi's knowledge of his past might inadvertently explain his true identity. But that didn't mean he was going to put up with her fondness for touching. As polite as he tried to be, he knew that this time around, he couldn't tolerate that aspect of her character. It was an impossibility. He knew from experience, and he did not wish to test it again. This morning was not the first time he had felt disgust at the simple touch of a woman.

Following the shift and twist of the muscles in her arms, taking in the way loose clothing flowed after each swift movement, violet eyes looked not for the flaw in the technique she used, but the beauty she projected into something that could be so dangerous. Sapphire eyes alight with adrenaline, long hair sweeping patterns through the air; each step was clearly thought out and pictured in her mind so that the smallest clenching of the tendons in her toes were perfect. _Perfect._ Ghosting a smile across his lips, he tracked the line of her stomach to the tilt of her knees and down to the bare width of her feet, her body arching back before pivoting to the left, the bokken in her hand swiping down behind her then up... and she tripped over her own feet.

Landing ungracefully on the floor in a tangle of limbs, her bokken a clatter of noise sliding away from her, she pounded a fist into the wood with a curse, raking both hands through her bangs in exasperated rage. "Che! What do I keep doing wrong!"

"It's your stance." Dark head whipping around with force, her smile was instinctive, followed closely by a frown.

"When?"

Walking over he held out a hand to help her up. "Before you go into the last swing. Your stance isn't wide enough." Turning her away from him, he circled both arms around her so that he was holding the wooden sword half over and above her own hands. A position he took when she was younger to help her feel the difference in the right and wrong movements of her kata.

"Show me how you were standing." She obliged hesitantly, her legs finding that setting easily. Placing his feet on the right side of hers, he nodded his head, then shifted his weight to the correct stance. "This is where you should be." Head resting gently over her shoulder, he watched the frown form on her face, her feet adjusting so that she was flush with him again.

"Do you feel the difference?" Demonstrating, he made her swing the bokken in a slow motion. Muscles following his lead, she carried the bokken over her head and to the side, her feet shifting her weight with his to her right foot, the other propping her up to her toes. Leaning one shoulder back into him, his thigh brushing into the sensitive inner area of hers, he made her pause, making sure she remembered what it felt like before moving on. Curving back and under, the tip of the bokken passing within a mere space from the floor, his arm brushed her lips distractedly, then his foot was forcing hers to step forward into the swing, their bodies slanted now from where they had started. Toes now pointed on the other foot, his body leaned into hers. Strong shoulders surrounding her, her cheekbone pressing into his scar, his voice was a deep whisper of sound that tickled the corner of her lips. "Do you feel the difference?"

Swallowing at the softer caress of words, she nodded, afraid to breathe. She was so very aware of every centimeter of touching skin between them, and so afraid that she wouldn't get to enjoy it. With the slide of calluses from their fingers on the bokken; the gentle rasp of cotton separating the press of their arms; to the very real heat of his chest flat against her back; the strength of his thighs and the even breathing warming her cheek, she couldn't help the closing of her eyes. Couldn't help wanting to soak it all in. _It's been so long since he was this near to me..._

Inclining her head ever so slightly into his own, she felt his response in the way his nose nuzzled gently into hers, his acceptance of the gesture. Emotions trembling her heart and jaw, she bit sharply onto her lip, unsure of what to do with his consent so easily given. Tipping her chin up and sideways to deepen the contact, to show her enjoyment of the innocent connection, even as it was teetering on the edge of intimacy, he tightened his hold around her in response with the easy contraction of arm and shoulder muscles. A shaky breath warmed her skin, and he ducked his head to snuggle the angle of his nose lightly into the curve of her neck. Pressed so securely against him, she noticed the quiver in his limbs.

"Kenshin?"

_I shouldn't be doing this..._ The thought ran through his mind, an intangible notion that was not quite able to stand up to that warm peace he always felt when near her. Not when she was pliant and willing in his arms. _As lost as I was without her, I can feel it now. The way her ki slowly draws me in, tangling tightly around my own with the same determination and strength that she shows while training. I can feel it almost scolding me with its matter-of-fact pull, telling me of its anxiety and sorrow in my absence. I can read so much about her just by holding her... translate her emotions. And... and... _Lifting his head only high enough to open his eyes, red lashes grazed the bare skin at her neck, violet irises mesmerized by the hollow below her throat.

Footsteps resounded down the engawa outside, resulting in the jerk of his head up and around. Extremely reluctant, yet needing the distraction, Kenshin stepped back, releasing her from his embrace and hiding behind formality and politeness once again. Fighting back the hurt in her chest, Kaoru clenched her eyes shut before she too looked toward the door for their interruption.

"Kaoru! Kaoru! We've got to go!" Bolting through the open shoji, panting between words, Misao stopped dead at the sight of the two.

"Himura?"

Politely he smiled back and bowed in greeting, not missing the envy and slight pain that echoed in her eyes before she shook her head roughly and darted up to the other girl.

"You have to come quick, Kaoru." Already pulling on her arm to get her out the door, she buried her pain in the face of the current crisis. "Sano's been shot!"

x

Sano cocked a grin at the indignant shouting of the two women he had befriended in high school, the officer standing outside of his door stuttering in confusion and barely handled professionalism. He didn't stand a chance against them, and proved it when the girls finally burst into the hospital room he was sharing with himself. Since he was still officially under police custody, they wouldn't just let anybody into the room with him. Well... except for the five standing in there at that moment. _What wonderful people we trust our safety with._

"What the hell were you thinking you idiot?" That was Kaoru, affectionate as always.

"I was just taking a walk." Shrugging his shoulders innocently, he offered her a smile that she did not quite buy.

"Where at? Through the Yakuza's front door?" Misao, her humor like a nail gun.

"Yeah, weasel, I walked right up to the bastards and asked them to shoot me." Rolling his eyes, he ducked when she slapped him upside the head.

"Well you didn't get shot with a potato gun, that's for sure!" Crossing her arms and huffing out a breath, she bent into his face so he couldn't ignore her. "You don't just get shot for nothing, rooster-head! What the hell were you doing? And why the hell is there a police officer outside your room!"

"Why the hell else do you think? I'm under arrest, ok." Lifting up his hand he counted off the reasons on his fingers. "Breaking and entering. Assault and battery. Possible ties to the Yakuza... and..." Breaking off into a shallow murmur, he coughed into his hand and bounced his toes under the covers.

"And what, Sanosuke?" Voice slow and even, Kaoru crossed her own arms, cocking her head to the side and raising an eyebrow.

Clearing his throat, he twiddled his thumbs distractedly and spoke so fast it took several seconds for the others to make it out. "Attemptedmurder."

"Really? Cool! What room's the other guy in?" Grinning at the wide eyes of the little brat, he snickered when Kaoru smacked him upside the head, pushing him back behind her.

"Sagara Sanosuke! What the hell were you thinking!"

"Hey, I said attempted. That means he isn't dead, you know." Watching her grit her teeth, he sat up a little straighter in the bed. "And if you haven't noticed, I am the one sitting in this God-forsaken hospital with a bullet wound in my gut. Besides, those are the reasons I was arrested for... who said I did any of them?"

"How many bones didya break? You didn't shoot him too did ya? Was his face all bloody and missing teeth?" Bouncing up and down behind his guardian, Yahiko played off the annoyance this was causing her.

"Oh would you shut up!" Beaning him in the temple she returned the glare he shot her.

"I think you should have taken me up my offer, Sagara-san."

"Well you can bet I'm regretting it now." Groaning at the pain that seared through his stomach as he moved to grab at the glass on the side table, he choked on the water when Kaoru set her fury filled eyes on the red-head, her voice almost a shriek.

"You knew!"

Raising both hands in innocence, eyes widening anxiously, Kenshin took a step back. "I didn't know he was going to get shot."

Throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation, Kaoru pivoted on her heel and stormed out of the room. "MEN!"

Misao giggled as the door swung shut behind her friend, shaking her head at the grin on Sano's face before leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. "You really are an idiot, ya know." Walking out after Kaoru, she left the room in tense silence as mahogany eyes finally found cinnamon, and the tears shimmering at the corners.

Looking between the two, Kenshin smiled a rurouni smile at the darted glance from Sano, grabbed the boy by the collar, and drug him out the door, his protests resounding down the hall.

Becoming more uncomfortable by the minute, the tears he was praying wouldn't fall hanging on desperately to her lashes, he couldn't do anything more than stare back into her unwavering eyes. A minute passed... then two... the tremble of her eyelids spreading to her jaw, then to the fingers peeking out of oversized sleeves. Worry furrowing his brow at her silence and wondering what it meant for him, he swallowed, and shifted once more against the bed.

"Fox?"

"What were you thinking?" Bitterness sat heavily on her tongue, her lips curling slightly in a movement almost like disgust. Anxiousness turning to indignation, he let his eyes harden in rash defense.

"I guess I don't know. Maybe I should ask you."

"Maybe you should have. I would have told you to just leave it be."

"And why is that?" Clenching his jaw and speaking through his teeth, he fisted one hand into the blanket.

Megumi took a step forward, her form looming over him. "Because it was the stupidest thing you could have ever done, Sanosuke. All I asked of you was to get me away from him... not try to kill him."

"I didn't try... though I damn sure wanted to." Irises back to that solid grain of wood, his breath was shaky in his chest, huffing through his nostrils like an untamed animal. "I would have thought you'd want him dead, with everything he put you through."

"Of course I wanted him dead, you idiot." Tears breaking free from her eyes, she willed her voice not to break as well. "But not if it meant you had to get hurt in the process." Swiping one hand over her eye, she took a steadying breath and raised her gaze to the wall. "I'm not worth you fighting for."

Snorting, he watched her attention dart back to him. "I never have cared too much for what other people think. So, I'm sorry you feel that way... but I don't give a damn."

Closing her eyes, mixed emotions of frustration and pleasure filtering through her heart, she jumped when something tugged at her sleeve, looking down to find his fingers rubbing at the cloth. There was a smile on his face that was a little more warm than she was used to, his eyes back to that laughing carelessness, but tempered with a... dare she think... covetous heat?

"You look good in my clothes, fox. I don't know whether to tell you to keep them... or ask for them back."

Eyes widening slightly as she glanced down at herself, she realized that she was still wearing the clothing she had slept in, her earlier thought of them being the raccoon's almost silly now. _Of course they wouldn't be hers, she's way too short to ever buy something this long._ Reevaluating her morning, the knowledge that she had been in his pajamas the whole time made her cheeks darken. Now, seeing it through everyone else's point of view, it could very well be taken as intimate... Cinnamon irises finally looking back into his own, she pursed her lips at the cocky grin on his face. It was time this rooster learned a lesson.

"Well... I might let you persuade me to give them back... but I'd better have a good enough incentive to do so." One slim finger trailed over the hand still wrapped lightly around her sleeve, laughter ringing through her mind when his grip curled into a fist.

Mouth suddenly dry, Sano swallowed and told his hand to release her... but couldn't manage to talk it into doing something it really didn't want to. "Such as?"

Reading the surprise in his eyes, she was happily delighted to also see an answer to her challenge, a humor laced with latent longing. Touch straying to his arm, she felt the goose bumps raise on his flesh and grinned arrogantly. "Hmmm... how about..." Leaning in closer.

"Hai?"

"...you tell me..." A little closer.

"Hai?" Eyes languidly closing at her nearness.

"... how _long_..." Lips breathing into his ear suggestively.

"Hai?" Voice tight with anticipation, his fingers curled now in the collar of her shirt, he breathed in deep to catch the cool, crisp smell of her skin.

"... you plan on..." Brushing her bottom lip over the lobe of his ear, she felt him shiver, and almost chuckled in triumph. "... spending in jail."

"A long... wait. What?"

Pulling back enough to look into his face, her eyes slanted sardonically, one hand moving to her hip. "The others may have taken your story with a grain of salt... but I want to know what happened, Sagara Sanosuke. Just why the hell were you charged with having possible ties with the Yakuzu? And attempted murder? Please. I know you, and killing somebody just doesn't become you. I'm sure you would have beaten him to within an inch of his life... but how often do they charge people with attempted murder when there is no murder weapon?"

"Plenty of times, I imagine." Staring up into her face, slightly in awe, he couldn't help the comeback and grinned when she glared.

"Don't change the subject." Seating herself primly on the edge of the bed, she settled herself, then looked at him expectantly. "Talk."

"You're not going to let me out of this, are you?" Sighing at the look he received, he reached for his water again. "When I found the bastard, he was tied to a chair in a room upstairs. It didn't occur to me that the reason he was still there was because someone else had already beaten me to 'em. Too bad for me they had... and gave me a nice little present for my trouble." Rubbing a hand over the bandage covering his wound, he winced at the memory. "Lucky for me, I guess, I was angry enough that it didn't really start to bother me until after I had pushed myself passed three of the five guys there and decked that sniveling bastard hard enough to knock him backwards. I think they found it amusing, because they decided to let me live... at least for as long as it took for me to bleed out.

"From what I heard of their conversation after that I found out that they were working for the Yakuza, and that their boss was pissed off enough to want him dead. As much as I was all for that, I knew that he didn't deserve to die... It would have been too easy for him. I wanted him to suffer the same way he made everyone else around him suffer. The way he made you suffer." Cinnamon irises lowered from the intensity of his stare, her fingers toying distractedly with her shirt. "So I stopped them... well, delayed them long enough for the police to show up. Apparently a neighbor was complaining about the noise, and knowing who lived there, a lot of them came. They said something about working on this guy for a few years. Anyway, the Yakuza guys ran, leaving me there to deal with the cops, and I got stuck with the charges. Though, from what I see, they should be thanking my ass... ungrateful bastards."

Megumi shook her head and grinned at his grumbling, slightly fearful over what this could mean for him, even if he wasn't letting it bother him. Not only was he injured... but how were they going to get him acquitted of the charges? He had no alibi, no one but Kanryu, and she knew that he would swear until his last breath that the Yakuza was never there, because they would find a way to get to him on the inside. Sano was a much safer person to blame it on.

Lifting her head when the door opened again, she felt her heart jerk hard in her chest when she recognized the police chief. Standing to get off the bed quickly, she bowed in greeting, nervous when he cast her a confused look. But as Kenshin walked up smiling behind him, the look on his face was reassuring, and she relaxed slightly.

"Ah, Sagara-san..." Taking a breath, he shook his head, then shrugged his shoulders with a strained laugh. "It seems the charges have been dropped."

"What?" Twin voices chorusing in, Sano shared a look with Megumi before returning his attention to the police chief.

"Takeda Kanryu has given us a full confession of his crimes, and is not pressing charges against you for your forceful entry or... well... violent tactics."

"But what about the other two?" Skepticism filling his voice, he frowned when the other man nodded his head as if in remembrance.

"They did seem a bit impractical didn't they. No matter... Kanryu has also vouched that you saved his life from five other men who were trying to kill him, and is willing to look at some mug shots to help identify them. We would be grateful if you would as well... later when you are out of the hospital. No need to rush yourself."

"And how did you get him to admit to so much?" Megumi crossed her arms, thoroughly perplexed by this sudden change of luck.

"Actually, _we_ didn't. Himura-san here requested that we let him speak to the prisoner only twenty minutes ago. Normally we would never allow someone outside of the case to interrogate, let alone a civilian, but... Himura-san has had experience in this kind of stuff before. What luck he did ask... I've never seen someone confess so quickly." Proud and grateful for the assistance, Uramura turned a smile on the red-head, ignoring the furrowed brows of the other two. "Well, if you'll excuse me we have a case to wrap up. It seems Kanryu is going to be in jail for quite a long time with the amount of charges we have against him."

"And... how long do you think... that will be?" Softly questioning the departing officer, Megumi didn't look up when he stopped to answer.

"For the rest of his life, no doubt, ma'am. He is responsible for many deaths with his drug ring and slave trading... but that is not something a lady such as you needs to worry about. Just be proud that the streets are going to be much cleaner and safer because of that young man you have there." Nodding at Sanosuke, he spoke a polite farewell, and left them alone again.

"Don't worry, Megumi-dono, no word of you passed his lips... and I promise you that there won't be any later, as well." Smiling at the eyes staring at him, Kenshin bowed and went to look for his still angry Kaoru.

"Hey." Cinnamon irises connected with the very pleased brown ones of Sano, his face perking up with dawning realization and mischief. "So do I get my clothes back since I'm not going to jail?"

Megumi giggled behind a hand at his logic, fox ears popping up in a returned impishness.

x

A/N: So, Sano and Megumi's relationship seemed to have progressed rather quickly... but trust me it didn't... I just am not going to be making them main, main characters, so I won't be going into detail. Suffice to say, they have known each other for a while and things have developed before this... just not on a physical level, or even to where they have been so blatant as this chapter was turning out to be. lol Anyway, next chapter is going to be a filler for time purposes, but also a way to capture their daily life and show just how hard it is for our poor Kenshin. Heeheehee (that was not an intended pun, thank you) So, thank you for reading, reviewing, and hopefully loving... questions, as always, do ask, and see you next time... on another episode of... wait a minute... I've been watching too much Dragon Ball Z... XD


	16. Interlude At The Dojo

Well... thank you all so much for your support and for your wonderful reviews. There were so many that made me laugh and squeal in delight that I could not possibly name them all, or thank you enough... I wish I could thank each of you individually... but this chapter is already long enough... So I will trust to the fact that you know who you are and that I really do appreciate your suggestions, thoughts, observations, and opinions. Thank you... and for those that wanted a little more interaction, between KnK and SnM... I hope you like.

Disclaimer: Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope... so there.

x

"She's got a smile that it seems to me

Reminds me of childhood memories

Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky.

Now and then when I see her face

She takes me away to that special place

And if I stared too long

I'd probably break down and cry.

Sweet child o' mine.

Sweet love of mine."

_Sweet Child O' Mine_ Guns N' Roses

x

Chapter 16: Interlude At The Dojo

Kenshin was up to his elbows in soapsuds, content and happy with the noises coming from the rest of the house, startled out of the furniture by the other occupants of the dojo. Breakfast was fast becoming his favorite part of the day, the bickering that commenced over the table amusing and, on a certain level he knew, loving. It was also the best time of day to see reactions from his house-mates that were not normally shown after they woke up fully, and had been fed. Before the fighting started, their eyes still sleepy and glazed, he found himself watching with fascination the adorable way slender fingers rubbed half-heartedly at dark lashes, a slight, kitten-like smile curving pink lips, and the soft way her tongue caressed the morning greeting... that special way she said his name.

Suppertime was another activity he looked forward to as well, as sometimes their friends would show and the house would be full of energy and life, warming the wooden structure in a way the early springtime sun could not. It was something he was not used to, but was slowly becoming acquainted with. Family. It didn't matter that he was still a newcomer in its presence, that he was watching from the outside like a passerby on the street, envious and in awe. What mattered was that... he wanted to be a part of it... and that meant letting go of a few restraints he had placed on himself.

Hearing the phone ring, he reached for the towel next to him, wiping off his hands before lifting the receiver off the hook. A smile was already spreading across his face, because, though he would not admit it out loud, this was something else he enjoyed doing. Answering the phone and telling them just exactly whose residence they were calling. Even though he knew pride was probably a sin.

"Kamiya Dojo."

A long pause followed his announcement, the buzz in his ear causing him to lift one eyebrow and repeat the statement, just incase the other had not heard him. When a deep voice he recognized finally answered back, he swallowed in sudden trepidation.

"I see you have finally decided to show your face again."

Happiness fading to the back of his mind, Kenshin slumped into the wall, his head lowering with the sad dip in his eyes. "Hai, shishou." Lids finally dropping to cover a remembered pain, thoughts of the last conversation he had traded with his master ran distressingly through him. The frustration and hurt, desperation... _I even begged him_... amusement, cynical and harsh filled his heart and clenched his fists. _What made me believe he would listen... that he would care... I'll never know._

"I don't recall giving you permission to go anywhere near her."

Clenching his jaw over the comeback that threatened, Kenshin took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "I'm keeping my distance."

Hiko snorted at the way words spit into his ear, angry and full of disdain. A smile curved his lips, but did not project onto his voice. "So you say. Get me the girl, I'm tired of talking to you."

Resisting the urge to slam the phone down, he instead placed it pointedly on the counter next to the sink, knowing full well it would go anywhere in the house since it was cordless, but choosing to ignore it. A part of him didn't want the conversation to carry on out of his earshot. Kenshin had never hated his master more than those last three years.

Following the tickling joy of her ki to her bedroom, he knocked politely on the shoji, waiting for her voice to answer back that she was decent. Sliding the door open, he froze as his eyes took in her outfit slowly, his mind still shimmering with anger and frustration. She was putting the finishing touches on the knot of her hakama, and with her attention so distracted, he took full advantage of it, a part of him rebelling against the sound of his master's voice still ringing in his ear.

Abusing a moment of stolen time, his eyes drifted to her toes, the smooth line of her feet hardened on the bottom with tough calluses, contradicting the delicate arch and line of her ankles. The hem of her pants cut off the rest of his exploration, giving only a hint of the limber shape beneath as he followed it up to the fingers twisting through the tie. The skillful way she secured the scarf-like belt caught his attention, wondering at the way she didn't even stumble over the task, her movements as graceful as her swordplay. Forcing his fascinated gaze upward, he lingered over the parted neckline, the lines of the grey tank top underneath and the skin visible just above it. Her neck was arched downward so she could watch her own movements, but as she finished, it straightened, her chin tipping up so that he could see the shadows flicker and waver with the lengthening of muscles.

"Kenshin?"

Catching the motion of her lips at the top of his vision, he focused on them instead, the glimpse of a pink tongue intensifying his stare. When she gasped, his eyes shot to hers. Wide; surprised; anxious; uncertain... her emotions only served to feed his discontent and harden his irises further. Grinding his teeth together, he turned his head away so he could hide his displeasure behind long, red bangs. _I guess I can't look either._ Thoughts turning bitter, his voice came out on a growl.

"You have a phone call."

"Oh... ok."

Kaoru trailed silently behind the stiff figure walking before her, his red head bowed at an angle, his muscles tense. Confusion made her wary, his actions following no foreshadowing that she was aware of, and as his low voice had made her shiver... so had the look she had glimpsed in his eyes. She had not seen that color there in years.

Eyeing his back uncertainly as they entered the kitchen, his hands diving in without thought to the dirty dishes of their breakfast, she stepped lightly to the phone she saw lying next to him. Unconsciously she reached out a hand to smooth over his shoulder, instincts driving her to sooth and softly question. As she stared further, however, his attention clearly focused elsewhere, she remembered his aversion to her, renewed with a vengeance after their misadventure in the training hall. Sighing, she reached instead for the receiver.

"Hello?" _I just really hope I don't sound as vulnerable and confused as I feel._

"...Didn't think I needed to know that idiot had showed up?"

Smiling and shaking her head, Kaoru moved to the other side of the room. "I believe you probably already knew. You're last call was too much of a coincidence."

Laughter, deep and affectionate rang through the ear piece, and Kaoru chuckled lightly along, leaning back into a counter catty-cornered to Kenshin. "Well, I didn't want him just dropping by without some kind of warning." There was a long pause, Kaoru waiting in amused silence. "He hasn't hurt you again has he?"

"Tousan..." Mildly scolding, her eyes fell to the floor, kicking her feet at the wooden grain. "Of course not."

"If he gives you any trouble, you call me. I won't let him get away with it a second time."

"Tousan..."

"I mean it."

"Ok, ok."

Listening to half of the conversation unfold, Kenshin realized he was getting nowhere, that it was impossible for him to hear what his master was saying to Kaoru, and that her own censored dialogue would not be so open with him standing there. Though the thought that she would wish to hide certain things from him did hurt... he also knew it was not unlikely. Kaoru had a responsibility issue when it came to him. Sometimes she made him wonder which one was the older.

Tilting his chin further into his chest, he stopped trying to pretend he was doing anything besides clatter the dishes around in the sink, thinking instead of the way she had almost... _almost _touched him. A brief idea had skittered through his brain at that tense moment, reeling in a fierce triumph over the slap in the face it would cause Master Hiko. What if she grabbed him? What if she overstepped the boundary? It would no longer be his fault... it would no longer be something that could be blamed on him.

Sighing he let his tense shoulders slump. _But it would be my fault... I cannot let her make her own decision in this. She is my responsibility... not the other way around._ Tensing once more as she stepped up beside him to hang up the phone, he let his anger drain away. _You can't blame it on Hiko-sama either. He is only worried for a girl he has come to love as his daughter. And you put him in that position in the first place. You cannot now shun him for responding that way._

"Kenshin?"

Closing his eyes, he let her warm presence relax the rest of the anxiety from his heart and mind. "Hai, Kaoru-dono?" Angling his head to look into subdued sapphire irises, he tried his best to let his own be clear and harmless in the face of her scrutiny. When she found nothing to disquiet her, her smile spread breathtakingly across her face, one strong hand coming to rest gently on his arm.

"Why don't you take a break from the chores today? You deserve to have a day off too."

"That's quite alright, Kaoru-dono. I do not mind." Returning his attention to the half-finished dishes, he was startled when she shrugged her shoulders and slid up next to him, her hands joining his under the water.

"Then I'll just help you."

"But you have a student to train."

"Oh... I gave him a thousand swings to do while I was getting dressed. I don't think he'll be finished with those anytime soon." Waving off his excuse, she rinsed off a dish and sat it in the drying rack next to her.

Chuckling in amusement, he didn't catch the moment he leaned more weight into the arm next to his, and Kaoru chose to pretend she didn't notice.

x

Shaking his head and settling down on the edge of the training hall, Kenshin was still trying to figure out how she had talked him away from the rest of his chores. Not that she was planning on letting him do them later like she had insinuated... he had a feeling she was trying to trick him into letting her do most of them after practice.

Crossing his legs underneath him, he leaned back into the solid wall behind him, listening with only half an ear to the persistent voice of his Kaoru tell her one student what he was doing wrong and how he needed to fix it. Smiling slightly, he let his eyes drift to the ceiling, running thoughts and an observant gaze over the newly refurbished interior. Getting Kaoru to share her ideas about the building had been a chore unto itself, but after clearly picturing in his mind what she wanted... he had set about making it a reality for her. She had been surprised, to say the least, and he could tell that she had wanted to do more than just bounce up and down and squeal in delight. More than smack him upside the head and call him an idiot, too, he conceded ruefully.

Now, in the clean mid-April air, they could enjoy one of the shoji standing open to let in the breeze and cool their over-heated bodies, instead of just letting the cracks in the walls and ceiling do that job for them. Even the plaques for the walls were on order, and having the two names hanging in plain sight would only serve to make them even more proud to represent this fragile start of a style the world had yet to discover. At least, that was what Kenshin was hoping for... as that boy just seemed to become more and more restless by the day.

Jerking his head up at the violent clatter of a bokken being thrown to the floor, stern violet irises watched as Yahiko crossed his arms and took a haughty stance.

"I thought you were supposed to be helping me get stronger, busu. Not run me through the same routine day after day."

Letting out a measured breath, Kaoru dropped her own bokken to her side and fixed him with an angry look. "And how do you plan on getting stronger, Yahiko-chan, if you don't learn discipline first? You skip half of our practices to go hang out with your girlfriend! Of course I'm going to be teaching you the same thing over again. You haven't mastered it yet!"

Sputtering in denial, he took a step toward her and yelled back. "Well if you weren't such a boring teacher I might actually stick around! You're not teaching me anything useful!"

"And just what do you think would be useful, Yahiko-chan?"

"To actually learn from someone who knows what their talking about! You've said so yourself that you haven't fully mastered the technique. What makes you think you can teach it to someone else!"

Closing her mouth and swallowing, sapphire eyes drifted to the floor between them, thoughts wondering if she hadn't failed in this as well. _The kid could be right. I'm no teacher like mine was._

"Kaoru-dono." Kenshin stood, his eyes trained on her, their depths hard and meaningful. "You cannot teach someone who is not willing to learn." The words were simple and meant for both sets of ears, making Kaoru smile sadly at his attempt to make her feel better, and the boy step forward to reject his accusation.

"I want to learn." Firmly stated, he came in closer to the two. "But I want to learn from you." Knowing he now had their attention, violet eyes narrowed and sapphire wide, he mustered his courage and tried to persuade him. "I know you can fight. I've seen the way you move, and you can't own a real katana without knowing how to use it. That scar on your face proves you've been in a fight, and you had to of won, or you wouldn't be alive. I want you to teach me." Bowing his head respectfully to Kaoru, he tried to seem honorable to his old teacher to try and win over a new one. "No disrespect to your father, Kaoru-san. But his style does not fit me."

Angry, Kaoru took a step forward, but stopped when Kenshin blocked her path with an arm.

"And who, Yahiko-kun, told you that Kaoru-dono's father had anything to do with Kamiya Kasshin-ryu?" Kaoru stepped back slightly at the hard words, her lip pulling in to worry under her teeth.

"What do you mean? Kaoru said her father taught it to her." Shrugging off the question, Yahiko raised an eyebrow when Kenshin's eyes turned to his sensei.

"What?" Kaoru snorted out a breath and backed up further, crossing her arms and using her anger as a shield. "Like the brat would have wanted to learn a style I just made up on my own. Especially since I'm a woman."

"You what!"

Ignoring his outburst, Kenshin felt his frustration stir again, not about to let Hiko-sama take credit for something his little one had created on her own. _That man is pissing me off today, and he isn't even here._ "Hiko Seijuro had nothing, _nothing_, to do with the creation of Kamiya Kasshin-ryu besides giving it a name." Turning his eyes back to the boy, he squared off with him. "Kaoru-dono worked hard to make her beliefs into a style others could share, and you will not belittle its strength by insulting its creator. And if there is any reason why she has not mastered it herself, it is only because it is ever changing and growing from her experience and knowledge." Seeing the crease of thought form between dark eyes, Kenshin gave him another idea to wrap his mind around. "And if that is not enough to convince you, Yahiko-kun, then know that even I have not mastered the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu."

"Kaoru taught you? But you're older than her."

"So?"

"So! You should be the one teaching her! You're the more experienced!" Thoroughly flabbergasted, he tried to reason with them both, his eyes wide and brows curled inward and up.

"Kenshin... did help me... _has _helped me with Kamiya Kasshin-ryu, Yahiko-kun. Without him there would be no such thing." Soft and low, Kaoru conceded part of her secret to the boy. Letting him finally see what her style was about... even if he didn't realize who Kenshin was just yet.

"Then how could _you _have taught _him_?" Things were really starting to get out of the reach of his knowledge. Just what the hell was going on here? Who was this man really? And how long had they known each other?

"I only helped her put everything together, Yahiko-kun. Kaoru-dono came up with every kata on her own. My help was unnecessary."

"Don't lie, Kenshin. You helped out a lot." Scolding him, Kaoru pursed her lips at his maddeningly humble grin.

"Uh, helloo..." Both turning back to the student waving his hand in the air, one dark eyebrow cocked upwards. "None of this is making any sense. At just what age did you start making this stuff up? And who is this guy, anyway?"

Kaoru's face fell slightly, her brows creasing together over the sad dip in her eyes. "Do you really think so little of my teachings, Yahiko-kun, that you need to question its origin? Have I not proven myself worthy of your respect? Am I not strong enough for you to wish to learn?" There were no tears present in her voice, only a deep sorrow that bowed her head, and made the boy fidget uncomfortably.

"It's not that, Kaoru-sensei... I just need to be stronger. And I feel that _he_ is the stronger."

Kaoru leveled the boy with serious eyes, her gaze unblinking and firm, reading his own. Uncomfortable again, Yahiko twitched under her stern look, not sure what to think of this different attitude she was showing. Why wasn't she yelling and screaming at him? Usually she would just bonk him over the head and tell him 'Fine, have it your way.' Letting him learn through his own mistakes. What was going on this time?

Bowing her head in acknowledgment, Kaoru conceded defeat. "As you wish, Yahiko-kun. You have given me no other choice in the matter."

Kenshin, unsure of the look on her face too, felt a stab of disappointment in the boy as well as the girl. Kaoru did not give up so easily. Ever. What was different in this? Watching her walk forward, her steps deliberate and measured, she bent over in the space between them to pick up the discarded bokken laying on the floor. The boy's, as he had thrown it away earlier. Turning to Kenshin, she tilted her head... and it was all the warning he received. Tossing him the weapon in her grasp, she lifted her own, and attacked.

x

Kaoru groaned as she flopped back onto the engawa, her knees bent and her head bopping gently against the wood, eyes directed upwards. The noise of protest turned into one of mirth at the look on Kenshin's face, however. He was clearly not amused.

"What?" Laughter sprouting from her lips, she rubbed a hand over her shoulder, the muscles still stinging from a particularly harsh blow she had fended off. He had been a little more angry than she had originally thought he would be. _Oh well, he'll survive._ "Did you see the look on his face? It was priceless. He couldn't get out of the way fast enough. Tripping all over himself and everything."

"You could have been hurt, Kaoru-dono..." Voice soft, but no less firm, he took a measured breath when her laughter increased.

"Really, Kenshin... when have you ever hurt me before? We've sparred countless times. What was different about this one?"

_You were actually attacking me, that's what was different._ Casting another look over to her, he rubbed a hand over an aching calf muscle. _And I haven't really moved that fast in awhile. Kami-sama... I think I'm getting old._

"Oh come on Kenshin... it was fun. Admit it." Crossing her left leg up over her right knee, she kneaded her own calf muscles, half-allowing that she had been nervous a couple of times... but only because she was beginning to feel worn down. _I guess I've never sparred with him in such a serious manner before... I'm thankful though... otherwise that brat would not have been impressed._ Groaning again at her aching body, she wondered why she cared so much.

Smiling and shaking his head, Kenshin eyed her form laying out next to him, conceding that it had been fun... and on another level... _Not something you should have enjoyed, baka!_ A frown wiping away his mood, he jerked his head away, only to quickly dart it back again when a spot of black caught his eye. Kaoru's fingers were now absentmindedly scratching at her knee, her pant leg inching upwards and revealing a very dark blemish on her skin that he had never noticed before... and suddenly wondered why.

Jumping in surprise when Kenshin's fingers wrapped around her ankle, she propped herself up on her elbows and eyed him uncertainly. Then froze, her mouth hanging open as she realized what was holding his scrutiny.

"When... did you do this?" One calloused, oh-so-sweetly rough finger brushed over the two kanji tattooed into the inside of her shin, her skin jumping to life and forcing goose bumps to sprout all up her leg. Desperately reeling in her breath and begging it not to catch in her lungs, Kaoru stuttered back.

"A c-couple years ago... It was Misao's idea. She and Sano wanted to go get one, and they wanted me to go with them. So I had to pick out something and I didn't want just anything stuck to me for the rest of my life... so yeah." Knowing she was babbling... she clicked her teeth shut. It wasn't like it was obscene or anything... it was actually kind of sweet. She just didn't know how he would take it since it didn't have anything to do with him, and he hadn't been in the greatest mood this morning. Especially towards Hiko-sama.

Kenshin stared at the two kanji, his face hardening again, his eyes unable to look away. _Little Dragon. __Bah! You have done everything in your power to make sure I know you know, haven't you old man? I cannot turn around today without you slapping me in the face. I bet you're enjoying it too._ Releasing her ankle, he tried to tell himself to feel ashamed for the red fingerprints he could still see in her skin. Instead they forced a feeling of triumph into his chest... knowing he could mark her as his own as well. A much more personal mark.

"Kenshin? Do... do you not like it?"

His eyes titled away from her observation, unable to look at her directly. Not with the anger he was sure would be there. Shrugging his shoulders indifferently, he gazed out to the far wall, feeling bitter. _I had my own term of affection for her... why would she choose him over me? Why choose his endearment over my own? It was me she was attached to. It was me she belonged to. Why not me? Why not mine?_

"Hey, there you guys are!" Misao rounded the corner, her cheerful voice breaking through the air. Kaoru lifted a hand back, completely comfortable with just lying there, her foot falling back to the floor as she called a greeting. "That brat was unusually excited when he let me in. What was that all about?" Plopping down next to Kaoru, she looked up when Kenshin stood.

"I'll go start lunch, Kaoru-dono."

Kaoru watched Misao roll her eyes and grinned impishly. "Probably because I whooped Kenshin's butt." Watching expectantly as he rounded the corner, her grin widened when she saw his amused tilt of the lips. Returning her attention back to Misao, she giggled and attempted to sit up. Moaning at the twinge of over-exerted muscles, Kaoru's giggles turned to chuckles as Misao helped her. "Of course, I don't think I came out of it too whoopie either. Kami... I hurt everywhere." Not in enough pain to overcome the hilarity of the situation, her chuckles turned to laughter at Misao's unsure look. That look that wondered if she was still sane.

"So I see he still insists on calling you 'Kaoru-dono.'" Imitating a whiny middle school-aged kid, Misao made a face. "Like the idiot doesn't even know you or something. Like he didn't practically grow up with you or anything. Like he's not..."

"Oh shut it." Aquamarine irises looking to her in surprise, Kaoru shrugged her shoulders to relieve the sting. "If he wants to pretend he can push me away, fine. I'm going to let him think whatever he wants. For a little while longer, anyway." Grinning at her best friend, she watched her burst into giggles.

"Well I think he's delusional. Come on, it's not like everyone doesn't notice the way he looks at you anyway." Seeing confusion cloud her friend's eyes, Misao wondered once more about her sanity. "You do know... don't you? Come on Kaoru, it's not like it's hard to notice!" Totally scandalized, Misao's jaw dropped open when Kaoru continued to look clueless. "Wow... you mean you haven't seen him look at you like he wants to eat you alive?"

Kaoru's mind briefly tossed up an image of those hungry amber irises she had glimpsed that morning, her face darkening with color.

"See... I told ya." Misao elbowed her suggestively, and laughed outright when her red cheeks flushed again, her head ducking away from her. "Oooh, I got an idea. Why don't we try to steal some food from him while he's cooking. See how uncomfortable we can really make him." Pulling Kaoru up by the arm, she shook her head when the little weasel drug her off down the engawa. _I think both of us are in trouble if Misao's gonna try to play matchmaker._

After changing into a pair of cotton stretch pants, the fit loose like her hakama, and a large t-shirt, Kaoru followed Misao to the kitchen where the smell of their lunch filled the air. It was mouth-watering, as usual, and with Misao's encouraging presence, and her own mischief boiling under the surface from that morning's spar, Kaoru found herself teasing Kenshin for some food. He was rather good-natured about it, his mouth quirking up in a telltale sign that he was amused with their actions. In those short minutes, Kaoru felt truly comfortable and content, able to act normally around her Kenshin for the first time in a long time. With the clouded incidents of the tattoo and phone call pushed to the background, and the last three years all but ignored, Kenshin seemed satisfied with just playing along.

After lunch, Kenshin found himself once again doing the dishes, the adamant protests of the boy fading off to the other side of the building as Kaoru had ordered him to sweep the yard. Smiling at her giggles when the boy apparently left to do her bidding, he listened to the two girls scuffle around, doors opening and sliding shut, then the burst of loud music filled the air. Slightly shocked, he almost dropped a dish, catching it only by the rim as it hurtled toward the floor. Bending back up with a deep breath, he turned slightly bewildered eyes to the door, like it would tell him what was going on. Then two voices joined in with the artist, and as the singer was male, the women threw all hopes of musical balance to the four winds and sang off key.

Letting his head fall back so he could stare at the ceiling, he felt the laughter heave at his ribs before it burst from his mouth, his eyes closing as the mirth overtook him. _I should have given up long ago on trying to stay upset about anything around this woman._ Slightly bemused, he shook his head and went back to the dishes, drying them off before placing them all back into the cupboards.

Draining the sink and wiping off his hands, Kenshin walked off to see what was going on, using the excuse to pick up dirty clothes as a good way to spy on them. Walking around the corner to the living room, the door standing wide open, he watched Misao dance around with a dust rag in her hand, stopping to throw her arm around Kaoru and press her face to hers as they joined in with the last chorus of a love song. Kaoru, her hands holding a broom, closed her eyes and concentrated on the finishing note, a smile forcing her lips upward even as she was trying to sing. Laughter burst out of both of them when the song finished, and they leaned into each other to keep from falling over.

Misao looked up first, her eyes catching onto his figure in the doorway, a surprised look of her own passing over her features. Kaoru, wondering what had caught her attention, strained her own neck around and caught sight of Kenshin as well. Mouth forming a small 'o' she stumbled backwards, the broom flying into the air and her hand grabbing onto Misao's shoulder. Both women crashing to the ground, they disappeared behind the couch with a loud clatter of limbs, and then laughter filled the room.

Hurrying over in a jerk of fear, Kenshin looked down at the two bodies. Misao, laying flat on her face, was just rising to her knees and rubbing a hand over her poor nose, wincing through her giggles. Kaoru, sprawled onto her back, was brushing a hand over her backside, dodging a flailing foot by her face.

"Are you ok, Kaoru-dono?" Eyes only for her and the pain she might have sustained, he reached down a hand to help her up.

"Yeah. But I think I shattered my tail-bone." Whining through her laughter, she pouted at Kenshin and watched his own amusement bloom across his face. She loved being able to do that to him.

"Maybe you should let me finish the chores."

Pout disappearing, Kaoru smacked him on the shoulder. "Absolutely not. This is my house, and I can manage just fine. Besides, it was your fault anyway."

"My fault you're accident prone?" Kenshin grinned and backed up when a glare entered her eyes. That look informing him she was contemplating jumping across the couch and beating him to the ground.

"Why don't you go somewhere else before I show you how accident prone I really am?" Bending down to pick up the broom, she hefted it meaningfully. Taking the hint, Kenshin disappeared out the door, the day's outlook becoming brighter by the minute. Picking on Kaoru wasn't something he made a habit out of, but on the rare occasions it happened, he loved watching her reactions. Especially when that light of danger came to life in her dark blue irises. It was rather appealing... but then, he could be masochistic sometimes.

Later in the afternoon, the dryer rumbling quietly with the last load of the day, Kenshin walked back through the house, violet eyes moving over every room in search of any leftover chore to do. There really was no need, however, with the boy sweeping the yard and buffing the floors, and the girls working on the inside of the house alongside him, the dojo was spotless. Shaking his head, he turned a corner, intent on searching out Kaoru to see what she was up to. Maybe something to occupy his mind for the rest of the day before supper.

Pacing down the hallway outside of the bedrooms, an excited squeal rent the air, and caused his feet to stumble.

"Kaoru-chan! Look what I found!"

Silence ensued for several seconds before her soft voice answered back, slightly strained and hesitant.

"Where... did you find that?"

"Right here under your notebooks from high school. Wow, I thought you lost it."

Chest suddenly tight and heavy, Kenshin moved silently forward to the open shoji, Kaoru's bedroom slightly messy from their bid to reorganize. Misao sat by a desk, drawers opened and books laying in piles around her, a large, leather bound binder in her hand. Kaoru, on the other side of the room, her legs crossed beneath her, stared frozen at the object her friend held, completely oblivious to the clean clothes she was trying to put away.

"Hey look! There's us bringing home that kitten we found in that dumpster, remember? And hey, that's when we got in trouble for tracking mud all over the Aoi-ya. The look on Gramps' face was priceless. I thought he was going to skin us alive."

Misao got up and moved over to Kaoru, the very well-worn photo album close to her face. Aquamarine irises only on the memories she held, she did not notice the sad look that passed over Kaoru's eyes. That look speaking only to Kenshin, though his presence had yet to be discovered.

Laughter burst from the small woman as another photo caught her attention, her form plopping down next to her best friend. "Look at you in Hiko-sama's coat. That thing engulfs you. All you can see is your head." Kaoru finally took interest, her face tilting over with Misao's and smiling tremulously at the picture.

Hidden partially in the doorway, Kenshin leaned back at another exclamation of delight, his body relaxing into the wall. That photo album had been a lifeline, a precious gift that he had mistaken for an angry retaliation. Misao thought Kaoru had lost it, but he knew the truth. Kaoru had given it to him three years before, and though her eyes had been lit with fire and rage at the time, he had treasured its presence as he would have her own. When he had decided to come back, when his heart could no longer take the separation nor be appeased with reminders, he had given it back to her. Hiding it among her things in hopes that she would find it and know that he understood... if only a little. Never did he think that she would not be the one to discover it.

"Wow, is that your sixteenth birthday party? I forgot we talked you into wearing that white dress." Misao paused, her head tilting to the side. "You look good. Wait a minute... there's a picture missing."

Kaoru lifted trembling fingers to smooth over the empty slot, her heart giving a painful little tug. "Maybe... it's in another one, Misao-chan." Swallowing over the lie, Kaoru smiled and pulled the photo album out of her reach. "It is the end of the book."

Holding the heavy binder in her lap Kaoru let her mind wonder at how worn it looked compared to the last time she had seen it. The corners were slightly dog-eared, the leather cover smooth and supple from handling, and the missing picture... Sapphire eyes darting to the crack in the door, she sighed at the emptiness there, wondering if her imagination wasn't playing tricks with her again.

x

Stepping out of the shower, Kenshin dried himself off briskly, his short temper leaving him agitated. It seemed he was doomed to bounce between anger and contentment like a ball on a string, unable to venture anywhere else until forced far enough in one direction to snap. Not soon after the chores were completely finished, Sano had shown up, and though they had decided on being civil towards one another, Kenshin could not help feeling tense. It wasn't that the man was friends with his Kaoru, or that he even considered himself closer to the woman than Kenshin himself was. Kenshin's irritation had a lot more to do with the tall man throwing an arm around Kaoru's shoulders and kissing her fondly on the crown of her head; combined with his continued bellyaching over the wound in his stomach and the pain it caused him... as well as the babying he received. Not to mention the smug looks he threw his way, like a child getting out of trouble for something that was clearly his fault. Kenshin blamed him for the incident in the training hall. A need to reassure himself that Kaoru was still his a painful fire in his heart.

Throwing on his boxers and a pair of mesh pants, Kenshin next attacked his hair with the towel, muttering softly under his breath. They were all out in the living room playing video games now, their buoyant voices echoing through the house as they yelled encouragement or threats at one another. While Kaoru had taken her shower before him, he had been left to watch the activity, and on a certain level... it was rather unappealing. Appalling even. But that was only when he thought of how easily humans threw violence into games. How they made killing someone by pistol whip entertaining. On another level, he could see how it was, because he knew that the people on the end of the controllers would never have any such violent thoughts towards one another on such a drastic level. So, seeing young Yahiko sneak up behind Sanosuke and jump on his head to gain a point for victory was actually amusing. More because Sano's outrageous exclamation was slightly satisfying.

Pushing the rumpled kinks of red hair out of his eyes, Kenshin looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. _You're definitely not getting any younger._ When was the last time he had looked at himself anyway? Never? It seemed like just yesterday he had no need to worry about such trivial details. Not with Kaoru dragging him around with small hands and laughing at life with a carefree bliss. Now... _she has others her own age to share that with. What can you possibly offer her anymore that she is lacking in her life?_ Stumbling over the question... his brows creased and he dropped his gaze to the sink. _She has never asked me for anything... not of myself. That selflessness amazes me... and I should have seen it before this. Enough so to realize that it was I who was being selfish when her one and only want was revealed to my face. It is almost unfair of me to admit to denying her that wish. _

_But..._ Both hands lifted to rake through his damp hair, the voice in his head slightly frantic. _She doesn't understand what she wants, what she asks. She has to realize that she is not making herself happy... but me. She has never done anything to make herself happy, and this... this is no different. It can't be. I've seen the extent of her resolve, her willpower. I know her better than any other. She gives of herself to make others happy, sacrificing her own happiness in the process. And I know, I truly do know, that she has done this for me more times throughout her life than for anyone else. It has become habitual. Yes. That's what it is. She thinks it is her own wish... but she must realize... she has to know... that it is mine. Not hers._

The revelation hurt, enough to bring him to his knees on the cold bathroom floor. This thought, this understanding, brought about too many more unanswered questions; too many issues that he did not wish to think about. Too many actions that he had let himself fall into that were tainted and shameful in the wake of such knowledge. Such things that were so innocent and beautifully treasured only seconds before. _How can I now justify coming back knowing that I was only making myself happy and not her?_

A doubtful voice lifted in the back of his mind, bringing back other observations. _But you saw her that day, alone outside her room. She was miserable, even with her friends around her. She was alone._

_She doesn't know any better._

_She knows her own thoughts better than you._

_Then she is mistaken. Mistakes happen every day._

_Mistakes are generally the reaction of rash behavior. How long has she had to dwell on this?_

_But... she is still young. She has no notion of reality._

_She knows more about reality than many others will ever feel. And when has her age ever affected her maturity?_

Sighing, thunking his head against the corner of the sink, he stood, suddenly restless. _Now I'm arguing with myself._ Grabbing up the dark t-shirt still waiting on the counter top, he tugged it on in jerky motions, absentmindedly shrugging it over his shoulders and sliding his hair out from under its length. Not bothering with a brush, he exited the room, needing something else to distract his mind, to help solve this disagreement.

The living room was lit mostly by the television and the sunlight still coming in through the windows. A single lamp shown on a corner table by the oversized couch, illuminating the dark corner that Sano half reclined in, closest to the door. With the screen shoved back into a corner of the room, the large, v-shaped couch floated off in the middle so that anyone sitting on the monstrosity of furniture could see without trouble. The two ends were occupied by Sano, his back propped up on pillows so he would not aggravate his healing wound, his loud mouth shouting obscenities at being cut off; and Kaoru, her body spread out on her side, her face smiling in amusement at the race cars knocking into each other. Misao lay upside down in the crevice at the center, her head hanging off the cushions and a controller clutched in her hands at her chest, her feet crossed and bouncing in the air. Yahiko sat Indian-style on the floor, his face a picture of concentration as he tried to fend off Sano's blue sports-car and turn a sharp corner at high speed.

With their placements set as they were, Kaoru was able to see his presence in the doorway, her smile widening as she shifted her weight. Taking that as an invitation, Kenshin walked around behind the sofa to her side, moving to sit on the floor in front of her knees. Bringing one knee up to his chest, he angled the other foot to rest underneath, leaning his head back against the cushions as he pretended to watch the action on the screen.

Kaoru stared at the tangle of red strands on the back of her Kenshin's head. Something was bothering him. There was a telltale crease between his brows that tipped her off, a slight frown curving his lips downward. Worried, she shifted her weight so that her head no longer pillowed on the arm of the couch, her legs pulling up so that she was curled into a half circle on the large cushion. Reaching out a hand, tentative at first, then with more conviction, she wrapped a thread of fire around her forefinger.

"You didn't brush your hair, Kenshin."

He didn't start at her sudden boldness, only turned his head towards her in answer, his lips smiling at her soft voice. There was a definite sadness in his actions, the smile trembling on his lips before melting away, his eyes meeting hers only briefly before falling to the floor. Puzzled and concerned over his emotional turmoil, Kaoru let her hand tangle deeper into his hair, curving around the base of his skull and massaging gently at the tension in his muscles.

"It'll tangle if you let it dry that way." Slightly teasing, her smile faded when he carefully pulled out of her reach.

"I'll be fine, Kaoru-dono. You don't have to worry about me." _Please don't worry about me. It is time for you to be selfish. I don't want you to care so much anymore... not when it hurts you._

Bringing her hand to ball into her chest, she felt her happiness shrivel and give a wail of protest, a painful stab in the vicinity of her heart. _What happened now? What did I do this time?_ Swallowing she could feel a deep sorrow creep up her gut, ready to close her throat and kill her confidence. Clenching her jaw determinedly, she pushed herself up off the couch, snaking her hand over the side to pick up her own hair brush laying forgotten on the floor. Ignoring his reactions, she sat up behind him, one foot trapped under a thigh while that leg dangled off the edge, her calf brushing against his warm arm.

His protest died when a single, swift yank on his hair brought it all to puddle in her lap, causing him to wince a soft 'oro.' Satisfied that he would not be arguing again, she set to work brushing it out. Misao giggled, winking when Kaoru grinned in her direction, Sano laughed out loud, his position giving him a perfect view of Kenshin's petulant face.

Grumbling under his breath, unable to keep himself from glaring at the rooster-headed man, his irritation rose back to the surface when this only amused him more. _Your own hair could use a good date with a brush._ After that first meeting with the tall man, Kenshin had been left feeling baffled, amused, affronted and agitated. He could admit now, to himself, that his name did sound familiar, certain conversations between him and Kaoru mentioning his presence. _"... Misao and Sano came over to swim in the waterfall pool today..." "... I hate having to wear these uniforms to school. They're barely decent. Wish I could wear what Sano gets to since he's a guy."_ It never really occurred to him that Sano might be an important friend. He had figured the other was someone that was in her class, or even Misao's boyfriend, so he had blown off the name, more interested in what she had to say than anything else.

In return, Kenshin knew that the only reason Sanosuke was still wary over his presence was because nobody really knew who he was or why he was there. Nobody but Misao and Kaoru and neither of them were going to tell, having gone so long through life skirting the subject that they were experts by now. Kaoru having proven this in the dojo when Yahiko had questioned it. Sano had yet to press the issue, but then, Kenshin suspected he knew, at least a part of the reason why he was there. Being a fellow male, he was sure mahogany eyes had recognized the intent in his own violet ones, even if he was trying to kill it. And maybe that was another reason why the rooster head did not approve of his presence. _He is rather protective of both of these women. I wonder what Shinomori-san would think of that._ Shaking his head, he darted a glance to Misao, her happy shout at crossing the finish line almost upending her onto the floor. Maybe it was a good thing they had such a friend watching out for them. They were both strong, yes, but... with the situations they were placed in, they were also extremely vulnerable.

Shifting, he almost felt Kaoru cluck her tongue in annoyance, her fingers pulling sharply on his hair once more. A smile finally rising on his face, he laughed softly. Obviously she thought he was trying to get away again.

_She is stubborn... what makes you think she will just give up?_

_When she realizes that it is not worth it... that it is not something she wants._

_How will she ever know if you keep pushing her away?_

_... How will I ever let her go if she suddenly changes her mind?_

_... Has she changed her mind yet?_

Ducking his head forward, feeling her fingers comb through his hair, he could not shake the feeling that this should not be justified... that it could not be. _And who really comes out on top anyway when you are fighting with yourself?_

"Kenshin, what are you thinking about?" Kaoru leaned forward, her fingers tucking the ends of his bangs behind an ear so she could see his face clearer. Smiling and shrugging his shoulders he tried not to think about the warmth suddenly surrounding him.

"About supper, Kaoru-dono. Is there something you would like in particular?"

"Pizza!" Both turned to Misao, her exclamation prompting the other two to join in.

"Yeah, pizza!"

"Haven't had that in awhile."

"Oh..." Seeing the look on Kaoru's face light up at the idea, he sighed. "But I don't know how to make pizza, Kaoru-dono."

"That's ok, Kenshin. There's a foreign restaurant only a couple blocks down from where I work that specializes in pizza. They're really good."

"Yeah, we could order out and then pick it up. I bet we'd even have enough time to stop by the movie place and rent something to watch." Misao, expanding on the idea, flopped over on the couch so she could stand up, the change in perspective not fazing her at all.

"Hey, there's this really cool horror flick I've been wanting to check out. Came out last week." Sano, setting his controller down on the floor, sat up as well, groaning as he held his stomach.

"Oh yeah, I saw the preview to that one. Supposed to be really scary." Misao bounced up and over to the door, the decision apparently already made. "I'll get the phone. Decide what you want."

"I want pepperoni." Yahiko piped up from the floor, crawling forward to shut off the game system, the TV station it was set on coming back to life on the screen.

"Meat-lover's." Glaring at the boy, Sano countered him with a growl.

"Fine, but I want hand-tossed."

"What the hell for?"

Kaoru grinned at the fight that broke out, her young student jumping to his feet and yelling at the older man, Sano provoking him with each breath taken. Kenshin watched as well, a smile of his own curving his lips. It didn't matter to him what they had, as long as it made Kaoru happy.

Five minutes later the front door was sliding shut, Misao's car keys dangling from her fingers while Sano and Yahiko followed her out, both bickering over the front seat. Left alone inside the house, Kaoru absentmindedly ran Kenshin's hair through her fingers, enjoying the silky slide. Looking down at the top of his head, Kaoru sighed, aware now more than ever of the tension that stiffened his shoulders. Scooting herself across the cushion, she slid off the side so that she was kneeling next to him, her eyes searching his face.

"Kenshin." Violet eyes met hers, soft irises wavering uncertainly. "Tell me what's wrong." Brushing his bangs away with a soft caress across his cheek, she smiled tenderly at the way his eyelids fluttered half-closed.

Long seconds passed before he answered her, his decision seemingly heavy and needing careful consideration. "Nothing's wrong, Kaoru-dono."

A defeated sigh huffed forcefully from her lungs, her hand dropping to his shoulder instead. She watched him try to smile for her. Watched him fail utterly. Frustrated with the distance between them, with the inability to comfort him like she always had, without words, she clenched her jaw and leaned swiftly forward. Surprised, Kenshin froze, his muscles stiff under her touch as she circled slender arms around his neck and hugged him, trying with her tight embrace to convey her emotions.

When she pulled away he could see the tears shimmering on her lashes; stared as she smiled reassuringly; horrified as she stood, the brush in her grip, and turned away, one slender hand lifting to wipe at her cheek. Shooting to his feet, mouth working desperately for the words to say, he took a step after her, latching onto the last thoughts wandering through his mind.

"I don't want you to worry about me, Kaoru."

Dark hair twitched, her head tilting back in his direction as she walked around the couch, her lips curving upwards. "If I didn't worry, Kenshin, I wouldn't care."

"But I don't want you to care." Head lowering to the floor, he felt her freeze, her footsteps pausing on her way to the door. Silence stretched, the strain in the room almost tangible as he waited for her response. When he could take it no longer, he lifted his gaze, eyes widening when they latched onto her face. Anger. It was pure and simple rage that tightened her features. Form angled back at him, her hands clenched at her sides, lips thin and unyielding... but it was the fire inside of sapphire irises that frightened him the most. And when she spoke... her voice growled and shook.

"Don't you _ever_ say that to me again. _Ever._" Jerking back towards the door, she yanked open the wooden barrier, slamming it shut behind her with an irritated movement of her arm.

_What part of that do you believe was selfless?_

_All of it._

_Really? If so... she would have agreed to stop pushing you just because you asked._

_Not necessarily._

_... Fine... You hurt her._

_I know._

_Are you trying to prove something? Are you trying to push away the only person that cares about you?_

_Maybe I'm trying to protect her._

_Maybe you're protecting yourself. ... Besides, it's not working when you're only hurting both of you._

Taking a steadying breath, Kenshin made his own way to the door, stalking quietly down the hallway to the bathroom. Meeting Kaoru on her way back out, her features smooth and emotionless, her eyes unreadable, she stopped when she caught sight of him.

"Gomen nasai."

Shoulders relaxing, Kaoru sighed and pursed her lips, her head shaking slightly. "Baka, of course you're sorry." Stepping forward she wrapped her arms back around him, hugging his rib cage as her head pillowed onto his shoulder. "What kind of a statement was that anyway?"

Loosely encircling her with his own arms, he blinked, his eyes searching the air for nothing. "I don't want you to care if it hurts you. You shouldn't feel... like you have to care."

"Kenshin." Softly scolding, she adjusted her grip. "Caring hurts no matter who it's for. You can't change that. Nor can you decide who you are going to care for. If I felt obligated to care for you... I wouldn't _really _care about you. It can't work that way. And...it doesn't work the other way either. So, ask me to do anything, Kenshin, and I will gladly do it to make you happy. If you really wish for me to leave you alone, I will... but never ask me to stop caring, 'cause I can't." Voice shaky with suppressed tears, she took a trembling breath and closed her eyes, waiting for him to take her words in. Waiting for his response.

_And you thought she couldn't be selfish. She knows her own feelings. Don't try to act like you know better._

"Arigato."

Releasing a breath, half-exasperated, half-amused, Kaoru pulled back and smacked him on the shoulder. "Good, now we'd better find something to use for napkins, or the living room's gonna need cleaned all over again."

Smiling as she walked away, Kenshin moved to follow, wondering at the actions his thoughts could throw him into. And such a strange path it had been in the first place.

x

Megumi came in with the others when they returned with the food, her tall, feminine form gliding on by Kaoru's with an air of arrogant confidence. Kaoru didn't know whether to be amused or to stop her with a firm hand and smack her upside the head. That woman was just too damn annoying to let it slide. Though she was glad to notice that while she flirted with Kenshin as much as she could get away with, she had not touched him since that first morning. Besides, she knew not to let it get to her anymore, because cinnamon irises now seemed to linger on another male much more often than was considered polite.

"Look who we found wandering around outside." Sano, quite proud of his catch, threw an arm around her shoulders, Megumi's smirk and sideways glare not dampening his spirits any.

"I came by to see how your wound is healing, idiot. I know how you are. You probably haven't changed the bandages in days." Pushing him down onto the couch she crossed her arms. "Now take off your shirt."

Grinning openly, Sano immediately grabbed for the hem, throwing a wink at Yahiko's slightly aghast features. "Told ya I was good with the ladies. Oww!"

"Hold still you rooster head or you'll tear it back open."

Misao, carrying two of the four pizzas, shook her head and dropped the boxes on a coffee table they had moved out of the way earlier while they were playing video games. "I'm glad you know what you're doing, Megumi-san, because I don't think we could have talked him into going back to the hospital to have that thing checked on regularly. He's such a stubborn ass." Flipping open one of the lids, Misao drooled over the contents, her thoughts suddenly distracted. "So...uh... have you found a place to work yet?"

Clucking her tongue at the slightly soiled bandages, Megumi looked up at Sano, a disapproving glare informing him of a lecture later. "I am currently working at a small clinic downtown. Gensai-sensei has agreed to let me finish my internship there since... I was previously interrupted." Dropping her eyes back to a firm stomach, she ran her fingers tenderly over the puckered skin, the red, puffy section suggesting at a rawness. Pursing her lips, she wondered if he hadn't been scratching at it.

"Well that's great, Megumi-san. I bet you'll make a wonderful doctor."

"Who said I wasn't already?" Raising an eyebrow at Kaoru's input, she smiled at the annoyed expression that tightened her features. Taking in the raccoon fully, she felt amusement rise at the red hair tangled around her fingers, Kenshin's form once again sitting on the floor in front of her. "Of course, I'm always willing to prove my skill. If you're ever in need of any medical attention yourself, Ken-san, you're welcome to come to me... free of charge."

Kenshin winced, Kaoru's fingers having fisted in his hair and causing little white spots to appear before his eyes. Turning to her pleadingly, she loosened her grip, her jaw tense and her eyes unamused, glaring in such a way that promised more pain if he even thought about it for a moment.

"Hey don't I get medical attention free of charge?" Sano, pursing his lips in his own form of jealousy, wanting her sharp irises focused back on him, spoke up in indignation.

"You, rooster-head?" Laughing in disbelief that he could think something so ludicrous, she reached for a new swath of bandages. "You owe me big time for all of the antiseptics, bandages, painkillers and time I have taken to help you with this idiotic wound in your stomach, and I plan on making you pay up. So don't you think for one minute that you can worm your way out of it."

Horror-struck, he sat staring at her, mouth working soundlessly in an attempt to answer back in kind. Ignoring him, Megumi quickly and professionally finished wrapping his torso, clipping the ends with a set of metal hooks to keep it in place.

"How... am I supposed to pay for it, Fox? I don't have any money. Besides... I did it for you." Trying for a little sympathy, he put a pitiful look on his face, one that did nothing to soften her resolve.

"That's not my problem, idiot."

"Uh, guys?" Everyone turned to Misao, the movie in one hand a slice of pizza in the other. "I would really like to watch the movie now, and if you want any of this pizza you had better get to it now before the little brat eats it all." As one every pair of eyes in the room darted to the boy on the floor, a whole pizza splayed out before him, half of it already gone.

"Hey you little monster! That one was mine!" Scrambling to get off the couch, Sano made a dive at the boy, missing the box by inches as quick little hands swiped it up off the floor and out of his reach.

"Well, at least I know he pays some kind of attention during training." Kaoru laughed, watching the two children fight over the food. Kenshin chuckled along, accepting a plate from Misao when she offered and absentmindedly handing it to Kaoru. Megumi rolled her eyes, taking up the place that Sano had recently vacated. Misao popped the movie in then grabbed a few pieces before the others could get to it and plopped down on the couch in the center.

When they had all settled down, Sano and Yahiko with their own pizza in their laps, it was dark outside, shrouding the room in thick shadows that only the TV's light penetrated. With the scary movie flickering across the screen, they had turned off all the other lights to enhance the mood of the film and try to scare themselves further. Yahiko laid spread out on the area carpet, his chin propped up in one hand while the other fished blindly in the box for another slice of pizza, his wide eyes on the screen, his heart pounding in anticipation of the next jump moment. Sano lay on his back on the couch now, the pizza box he had claimed open on his stomach while his head pillowed in Megumi's lap, her left arm resting comfortably on the arm of the couch while her feet propped up on the reclining option it offered. Her right hand curled lightly into his shirt, an unconscious claim she would not yet admit to.

Misao and Kaoru had propped two pillows together near the center, using each other's weight as a counter balance to keep their heads elevated high enough to see. Both had finished eating long before the others, their full attention on the screen as they held their breath and prayed for the victim to run the other way. Kenshin, his form mirroring Megumi's with his feet reclined up on his own end, was comfortably relaxed, his eyes only half opened and watching the movie. He was more distracted by the tiny brushes of toes on his thigh, the cute noises of surprise or protest that Kaoru would give, echoed by Misao. She looked rather uncomfortable herself, curled into a tight little ball to give him room, and he told himself to offer to move so she could stretch out. Unfortunately he really didn't want to... because he was enjoying her touch no matter how small.

Near the end of the movie she gave a little sigh, a soft sound that informed him of her discomfort. Just as he moved to stand, however, she propped herself up on her elbows, looked down the couch toward him, then fell back into the pillow on her back and stretched her legs over the top of his own. Listening to her sigh in satisfaction, he smiled when her toes spread out and wiggled, one foot lifting to hook over the other on the arm. Feeling mischievous himself, content with her presence and the killing of strange thoughts earlier, he surreptitiously stretched his shoulder back then let his hand drop near her feet, wiggling his fingers along the soft arch on the bottom of one. Instantly she twisted, biting back a laugh that would ruin the movie for the others. Grinning over at her glare, her lips twitching to keep down a smile, he held up his hands innocently and silently promised to not do it again. Satisfied, she relaxed once more.

As the credits ran upwards along the now black screen, the adults stretched and rose to leave. Misao sleepily yawned and rubbed at her face, muttering under her breath about some test she had to study for, her college classes taking a turn for the worse as they readied for finals. Yahiko lay asleep on the floor, his soft snores amusing to his guardian who, even knowing he would protest if he found out, picked him up and carried him to his room. Kenshin moved around the space, flipping on a lamp to see by and picking up the trash and food laying about. Sano snuggled himself further into his pillow, grinning when she humphed at his boldness.

Taking a steadying breath, Megumi watched Misao stumble out, waiting long enough to hear the car outside rumble to life and drive off down the road before nudging the man holding her down.

"I need to get back to the clinic, Sanosuke. It opens early in the morning and Gensai-sensei will expect me to be up at least an hour before hand to help set up."

Sano grunted, noncommittal, before sitting up stiffly, letting her stand and brush herself off. Disgruntled, he stayed seated on the couch, keeping his eyes to the floor as he used exhaustion as an excuse for his actions. The fox confused him. One minute she was nice as can be to him, sweet even as she ran her fingers through his hair and massaged his scalp during the movie. Another she was hands-off, no touching... flirting with 'Ken-san' and making him angry. In the hospital she had acted like she had wanted more, did consider him attractive, yet he could only spot that from her ever once in a great while. Even though the kami knew he enjoyed bickering with her... he was tired of not knowing.

"Good-night, Ken-san. I hope you sleep well."

Sano ground his teeth together, hating the annoying little simpering noise she put into her voice every time she talked to the red-headed man. The only thing that reassured him was that the other seemed as interested in her as he was in Misao, if not less. No... violet eyes followed another woman around. There was no fire in them when he looked at Megumi like there could be spotted when he only glanced at Jouchan.

"Oh..." Her voice sounded again, clenching at his gut as she faked distress. "Look how late it is. I can't walk home by myself with all those bad men out there waiting for someone defenseless like me to prey on."

Letting out a measured breath, Sano waited for her to jump on Kenshin, braced himself to take that blow when her little foxy clutches latched onto him instead. Practically muttering under his breath, angered at himself and her, he jumped and slid off the couch when a hand whapped him upside the head... hard. Looking up into sardonic sapphire eyes he wondered vaguely when Kaoru had come back into the room, and then finished the thought with a realization of why Megumi had talked to Kenshin in such a way. _She was trying to annoy Jouchan again. _Laughing, he wondered when they would both learn.

Raising an eyebrow, Kaoru jerked her head to the side when he didn't stop staring and he followed her 'gentle' encouraging to the door where the little vixen stood. With arms crossed and one foot tapping she was staring at him expectantly, waiting for him to catch the hint.

Grinning, he jumped up, forgetting in his haste that he was still using his wound as an excuse to garner attention.

"Well aren't you just sweet, Sanosuke. Braving the big bad world, still injured, for little ol' me." Letting out her foxy laughter, she tangled her arm through his, covering her mouth with her free hand in an attempt at modesty.

Unable to be anything but satisfied, Sano grinned and teased her back. "It's not so bad when I know you'll just patch me back up, Fox."

"I told you I don't do that for free." Stepping out the front door, she leaned over and whispered her next words suggestively in his ear. "You are going to have to pay up sooner or later, Sanosuke. In one way or another."

x

It was close to one in the morning and Kenshin still could not find sleep. Restless over the day's events, angry with past happenings and the haunting knowledge of what should have been done, he sat propped up in his room, staring at the picture in his hand. As much as he had enjoyed the photos in that album, getting to see her as that young child that had captured his full attention and wonder once more, there was something about this picture that had called to him. It was her... she was there... in those eyes and with that smile... The same little girl who had looked up at him without fear, covered in the blood of her parents, and reached to him. Asked for him to take her away. Those eyes that now belonged to the young woman she was, and no other photo had captured this knowledge like the one he held.

Standing on the engawa of the Aoi-ya, weight braced on one leg as she bent the other knee in a gesture of innocence, she turned to the camera as if caught in thought. A small smile curved her features, secretive and alluring, and her arms crossed behind her back as she tilted one shoulder up, her head dipping unconsciously towards it. Clothed in a fluttering white dress, the absence of sleeves and the length brushing her knees speaking of the warmth in the air, it only enhanced the ambiance of the combined essence of woman and child. It was her... his Kaoru... shown in a way that he could neither deny nor ignore. She was a child no longer... and it was unfair that he had used that excuse.

Breath catching in his lungs, he looked away out the high window, watching vaguely as it lighted sharply then darkened again, a roll of thunder rumbling around the house. As he moved to stand, instincts driving him to comfort like always, he paused, looking back down at the picture and the smiling face of a woman he no longer knew like he had the child. She had changed in those years that he was gone, growing and developing her character, learning. With the storm just beginning and his instincts clamoring, the voice of his master rang once more through his mind. _"...you have taught her another lesson, baka deshi. One she will not soon forget..."_

Picking up the book beside him he replaced the picture carefully inside, making sure the edges would not be damaged. Setting it up on a dresser he turned into the wall behind him, placing his ear on the wood and listening with body and mind for the presence in the room next to his. But his Kaoru was no longer there and he marveled at her ability to slip away from him so quickly and silently.

Lightning led him through the house, thunder deafening his senses as he searched. When he found her he realized he should have known. This was a dojo and she was the master. Where else would she take solace but in the training hall? _Though I realize I would rather her take solace not in a room... but with me._

Her form was silhouetted in the doorway across from him, her clothing flapping gently in the wind, whipping sharply when it gusted inside. Lightning crashed and he watched her stand there, silent, solid, unwavering in its violent onslaught, undaunted by its growl of defiance. Her chin tilted up at another spike of light, her hand reaching outward as if in acceptance... in welcome of its torrential power. When the aftershock cracked hard enough to shake the small wooden structure she brought her hand back to curl into her chest, and he barely heard her laugh. It was soft, almost nonexistent under the noise of the storm, but it was there, and he paused, wondering at the amusement and tender affection he could almost catch.

As the rumbling died down she turned so that she was leaning into the doorjamb, a smile curving her lips as she hugged herself against the chill in the wind, the hint of moisture biting bare skin. Sapphire eyes still looked out into the dark world, lighting with the jagged curls of lightning, following one all the way across the sky. Drawn forward, the untamed sense of mystery surrounding her figure and calling to him like the thrill of the storm, he jumped when wood creaked beneath his foot.

Dark hair jerked violently as she whipped around to stare into the shadows of the dojo, blinded slightly by the lights behind her eyes. Sheepish, Kenshin took another step forward until he was visible, smiling in contriteness at startling her.

"Gomen nasai... I didn't mean to disturb you."

Pink lips bowed at his voice and she beckoned him forward instead of berating him. "Daijoubu, Kenshin. You're not disturbing me. I was just enjoying the show." Facing the outside once again, Kenshin by her side, she rested comfortably into the wood, her temple braced on its solidness. Her smile widened as the roll of thunder increased in volume, eyelids falling over sapphire irises contentedly.

"The storms don't seem to frighten you anymore." Speaking a slightly startled observation, he watched her laugh softly, amusement in her breath.

"No... not anymore." Looking upward she sighed, her arms dropping to her sides. "I found the weakness finally. I know what my... I know what it means now."

"And..?" Gently encouraging, teaching and learning, he waited for her reply expectantly.

"And... I found my own." Those unwavering eyes looked at him, into him, through him... brushing aside barriers and cutting through his defenses so easily. Like she had done before... so many times before. Like the first time... and undoubtedly like their last. Tilting her head to the side she smiled that secretive smile. "Have you found yours, Kenshin?"

"Mine..." Caressing the word, his breath shuddering in his lungs, his head directed away, back into the darkness of the dojo. "... has been known to me for many years now... Kaoru." Taking a step back into the shadows, he paused. "I will leave you to enjoy the show in peace. Oyasumi nasai."

Lightning flashed once more, illuminating the night sky with beauty and grace, laughing freely as it chased and ducked through the clouds, but Kaoru was no longer focused on its presence. Sapphire irises now looked inward, to the source of her true weakness.

x

A/N: Well... that was long... sorry, but I wanted to get all of that out of the way before my next chapter. I really thought about splitting this one into two, but what for? It would have been choppy and dammit... it wouldn't have been an interlude if it was two chapters! Anyway... so... did you like? Was it confusing? I sure as hell wondered what the hell was happening when I started making Kenshin doubt himself and his Kaoru... but hey, our thoughts sometimes don't make sense and if we are truly desperate we can come up with the most off the wall shite. In his case... he is desperately trying to hold onto some sense, or reason, why he shouldn't act upon the feelings he is having for his Kaoru and why he should deny her own return affection in such a way. Trying to reason that she is only so used to caring for him that she would consent to something more intimate just because she knows that it would please him was one of these examples. Which, indeed, could make sense to him, but to us... it's ridiculous... but hey, we all know Kaoru's thoughts... he doesn't... well... he pretends he doesn't. Lol... Ok, so... do you have some more conclusions to think over? Were there any clues in there that you caught onto? I hope so... the next chapter is going to be a little more suggestive of that... and... because I couldn't fit it into here without making it like forty pages long... we are finally going to hear about Aoshi! Yay! Well, hope that you liked, and see you in the next one.

Review... I demand it... XD


	17. Skeletons In The Closet

A small warning... there is some bad language in this chapter... as well as minor suggestiveness...

Disclaimer: Bad girl... what were you thinking?

x

"Keep your drink just give me the money.

It's just you and your hand tonight."

_You and Your Hand_ Pink

x

Chapter 17: Skeletons In The Closet

Misao rubbed a hand over her eyes, groaning at the dryness that had settled there. There was just something about a computer screen that mesmerized a person, unconsciously forcing a stare, eyelids blinking less often than normal. Sitting as she was in the dark room of her dorm, the last nine hours of her life spent online, she was beginning to wonder if she wasn't going to have permanent red-eye.

_Baka, baka, baka, baka, baka, baka, baka._ Muttering, she clicked a few more patterns on her keyboard, switching over to a second screen quickly before diving into another mainstream of information. Pausing to take a drink out of her half empty fountain drink, the ice long since melted, she sat back in her computer chair and sighed. A loud squeak rent the air as slightly rusted hinges ground together, protesting the movement. Ignoring the earsplitting sound, she propped her feet up on the oversized desk, and watched the numbers fly across the three monitors.

Just as she picked up a leftover box of noodles, the chopsticks automatically switching around in her hand, she let out a squeal of triumph and threw them over her shoulder. Flipping herself around, straddling the chair in her enthusiasm, she yanked herself sharply toward the third screen, letting out a whoop that her roommate would have been pissy over if she had been there.

_Oh yeah, Misao. We're in baby! Now... where did you go?_ Following the number of a certain credit card, Misao tracked it back four years, carefully mapping out the days, times and places of each use to pinpoint a pattern, to gain a clue. Chewing on her lip distractedly, she paused at a date that caught her attention, not a week after Kaoru's sixteenth birthday. Studying the figures meticulously, she finally dismissed it as a dead end. The numbers were too small, and there had been only one ticket. That was apparently the moment when Himura split up with her Aoshi-sama. So if they were in Singapore when he left to come back to Japan... then where did Aoshi go?

_Ok, so if I know that Himura left on the 22nd of June to come home then Aoshi must have left the same day... all I need to do is search the airlines and find him._ Bringing up the flights on that day she tracked each passenger that boarded, going through their names, how much luggage they took, what they carried on board. She knew for a fact that it would be a probability he would not use his name, but a fake. He was not the leader of the Oniwabanshu for nothing. Finding him was not going to be an easy task.

_I wonder if Himura knows where he went, that would make things a lot easier._

Himura was still a mystery to her, his new found humility and aversion to Kaoru something she found seriously laughable. What the hell the man was thinking she would never know. When he had come home that last time without Aoshi, she had been confused but happy for Kaoru. When he had left just as suddenly without a word to anyone but Kaoru, she had been bewildered. It also pissed her off in a way that was not her place to be angry. Leaving Kaoru behind when he was free to live with her peacefully, taking off with no apparent reason why. What kind of bullshit was that? _I can't believe Kaoru is even putting up with it. If I was her I would have made him take me with him._

After Katsura had died from lung cancer and the government had pulled the funding on their mission, deciding that it was a lost cause and that Shishio was probably dead anyway, Kenshin had been free to do as he pleased. Why in the world would he choose himself over Kaoru? Misao realized that he needed some kind of answer to forgive himself for the title he had claimed as most feared assassin, but dammit, hadn't he been away from Kaoru long enough? Wasn't his trek around the world searching for a maniac enough time to think about what was most important to him in his life? Didn't he know? Didn't he even realize what he had left behind? What it was doing to a young girl so very much in love with her hero?

_Dammit, Aoshi-sama. Can't you see?_

Watching the screen blur before her eyes, Misao hung her head and let the tears take over. Not one phone call. Not one letter or message to tell her where he was. If he was ok. Ever since... it happened. Ever since their ambush... Aoshi-sama hadn't been the same. _You can't blame yourself, Aoshi-sama. They don't blame you. Please... stop this and come home._ Slipping her fingers from the keys she buried her face into her hands, bawling in a way she would never let herself on any other day, on any day that she was not alone.

_They were my family too. Why can't you see that? Why won't you let me help you? _

Misao would never forget the day her grandfather had sat her down for the talk. Explaining gently about what it meant for someone to pass on to the afterlife. At thirteen, she understood what death was. She knew that life did not go on forever and that eventually all things pass out of this world to another. Where that world was and what it was like, no one knew, but surely it was better. Somehow, understanding and experiencing a loss first hand always made it different.

"_What do you mean? Where are Han'nya, and Beshimi? They're coming home aren't they? And Hyottoko and Shikijo... they're coming back with Aoshi-sama, right?"_

It had been hard, fully realizing that the four men she looked up to, who helped raise and train her in combat, would not be coming back. Ever. Harder still to think that her Aoshi-sama and the great Battosai had not been able to save them from death. Surely it was a joke, a bad one, but still... there was nobody in the world that could stand up to the strength of those two men. So how could she sit there and listen to the voice of her grandfather and believe that all it took was one... one man they didn't even see.

After that day, she never heard from him again, never saw him. With already close to seven months behind them since their last visit, it was more than a year later that Himura came back, looking tired and weary. With only a sad smile in her direction and a soft affirmation that Aoshi was ok, he had left to go home to see his Kaoru. Then he too had left the very next day.

Letting out a shaky breath, she wiped a hand over her face, lifting her head determinedly and reaching for the keyboard again. It didn't matter what he thought he was doing all by himself. She was going to find him, give him a proper scolding, then never let him leave her sight again.

This had been a goal for her ever since that fateful day, her anger and frustration finding a constructive outlet in the computers she loved so much. When she wasn't studying, she was online, when she wasn't online she was thinking about what she needed to do online. The first time she had hacked into the government's files, she was fifteen. After that, it had been a matter of finding them. It had taken awhile, but she never gave up. The only problem was... it had taken her two and a half years just to follow their path to Singapore... and from there, Aoshi just disappeared. Misao was hoping that by tracking through the airlines instead she would be able to get a better angle on him.

Two hours later and she was ready to rip her hair out. Apparently the man had either never used the airport or was really, really good at covering his ass. _As good as he is, he can't be this good. I've went through every background on every passenger within a twelve hour period. Now I'll have to search the bus and train routes as well as the hotels. That will take weeks!_ Ready to throw her chair out the curtain covered window, she jerked around to the second monitor when an annoying voice, she had found funny at one time, yelled a drawn out hello through her speakers. Sighing and rolling her eyes, she wheeled herself in that direction, raising an eyebrow at Sano's sign on name.

"Hey weasel. Busy?"

Pausing, darting her eyes to the other screen, she shrugged her shoulders and conceded she needed a break. "Not really. Why?"

"Wanna go get drunk?"

Laughing and shaking her head, Misao typed quickly back. "Sounds like an idea." Smirking, she added curiously. "Fox gettin' to ya?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You don't go out with me anymore."

There was a long pause and she knew he was denying the truth, then thinking it over.

"She's been too busy for me. Her career's more important, or something."

"Yeah, yeah." Stretching, she moaned when her back popped, her eyes lazily landing on the alarm clock. _8:30 huh? It's still early._ "Where didya have in mind?"

"The usual. Call Kaoru. Then pick me up."

"I have a feeling you just wanted a ride."

"Don't forget I'm broke."

Shaking her head, she signed off, hurriedly shutting down all of her computers and stashing her discs inside a fluffy pink cd case with a bright purple bunny on it. She thought it was hilarious.

Rolling forward onto her hands she stretched her back and legs, flipping easily over to her front and stretching her stomach. She made it a point to keep limber. Waking up in the middle of the night with a cramp was just too annoying. Making her way into the small living area, she grabbed up her cell phone and pushed the speed dial for Kaoru's house. Listening to the ring sound in her ear, she made her way to the bathroom, running the sink and digging around for the toothpaste. When Himura finally answered she was just beginning to brush her teeth.

"Kamiya Dojo."

"Yeah, so let me talk to her already."

Laughter rumbled softly in her ear, and the ex-hitokiri agreed to go fetch her. Scrubbing forcefully on her back molars, she spit, then attacked her tongue, trying to dislodge any after-smell from her take out.

"Yeah, whaddya want?"

Still gurgling her rinse water, she spit quickly then wiped her mouth, ignoring the huff of impatience her friend gave.

"Maybe you should finish what you're doing first before calling next time."

"Yeah, yeah. Hey, so ya wanna go out with me and Sano tonight? We're buying."

"I figured that." There was a pause in which Misao used to pull the tie out of her braid, combing her fingers through her hair to undue the weave. "Why not. I don't work tomorrow, and we haven't done anything together in awhile."

"Good. Pick you up in about an hour. Give or take thirty minutes. And you better wear something sexy."

"Whatever. See ya in a few."

Flipping shut her phone, she dropped her head down and ruffled her hair out with her fingers. When she stood once more her hair fell past her waist in large kinks, blending in with her bangs. Shrugging her shoulders she strode back into her room and dug through her closet for something to wear. _Hmm... It's still a little chilly outside, so my leather pants should be good... ooo and that green shirt Kaoru got me for my birthday last year._ Jumping to her closet she dug around for the said pants and shirt, throwing them both down on her bed and then fishing around for an appropriate set of underclothes. Stripping down quickly, her large t-shirt and pants going to the corner without a second thought, she tugged on her clothes then headed back to the bathroom for makeup.

Thirty minutes later, Misao exited her dorm room, letting a small grin tilt her features at the stares she received. _Definitely know I'm looking good now. Hey... isn't he dating my roommate?_ Giggling under her breath, she waltzed out the door with a wink at the guy holding it open. Ducking into her car parked halfway down the lot, she brought the engine to life, then checked her mirrors. _Hmm... wonder if Kaoru'll ask Himura if he wants to go. That would be interesting... Kaoru gets a lot of attention..._

x

Sano stood by the door and grinned at Himura. "Sure you don't want to go? You can always drink if you can't dance." Chuckling at the slight red that tinged the man's face, he shook his head.

"That's quite alright Sagara-san. I'm not much of a drinker either."

"Hey, listen... it's Sano, alright. You callin' me 'Sagara-san' kinda gives me the creeps. Makes me feel old or somethin'."

Smiling, Kenshin nodded his head. "Very true, I would rather you call me Kenshin as well."

"Ah, isn't that sweet. The boys are finally getting along." Misao poked her head around the corner and grinned cheekily, earning a frown from both of them.

Snorting, Sano crossed his arms. "Is Jouchan ready yet? She's had an hour already."

"Hey just because I don't throw on the first pair of clothing I come upon that doesn't smell a few weeks old." Kaoru came into view and crossed her arms, glaring at the man behind Kenshin, her dark hair gathered half-hazardously on the top of her head.

"Like it helped any. Geeze, Kaoru, couldn't you have at least worn something a little more showy?" Misao pouted at her and tugged briefly at the belt loop of her black pants. Plain as they were, they echoed the current style with the pockets low on the sides of her legs. Long enough to brush the ground, they almost enveloped her feet, and yet Misao had to give her some credit, they did hug her hips and thighs well enough to be suggestive. Definitely a little more comfortable as they were cotton to her leather.

"The shirt isn't good enough?" Holding out her arms in indignation, she showed off the front of her purple halter top, the dark lines giving it a feel of texture. "I'm feeling rather naked because of you." Pointing her finger into Misao's chest she grumbled and lifted the long sleeved, button up shirt she held in her other hand, slipping its length over her shoulders and tucking it defiantly around her slim torso.

"Now what the hell is that for? You're ruining the whole look!"

"It's still a little cold outside."

"But..."

"Hey, can we just get going?" Sano sighed in exasperation and shook his head at Kenshin when the girls both turned a glare at him. "Are you sure you don't want to go? It'd be nice to have another guy there."

Kenshin laughed but shook his head again. "I would rather stay here."

"Well... I guess you're smarter than I am."

As the other two exited, Kaoru stopped to tweak Kenshin on the nose. "Be good, and don't burn the house down while I'm away."

Laughing again, he waved her off. "I think I was supposed to be the one to say that."

"Me? Be good? Geeze Kenshin, who are you talking to anyway?" Slipping on her shoes she grinned before telling him goodbye and shutting the door. His own whispered farewell was only slightly hard to hear.

"Sooo..." Misao came up bedside her as they walked to the gate, her hand pulling on the material of the shirt covering her right shoulder blade. "... I take it he doesn't know."

"...No."

"Know what?" Sano, climbing into the front seat, questioned curiously, not wanting to be left out of the conversation.

"About her tattoo, dummy." Clicking her tongue, Misao started the car, and put it in gear.

"What about it?"

"Oh, if you really haven't got it by now then just forget it." Rolling her eyes, Misao glanced in the rearview mirror, noticing that Kaoru was struggling to get out of the over shirt.

"Hey now. Come on. What does Kenshin have to do with Kaoru's tattoo?"

"Everything and nothing, alright Sanosuke. So just drop it." Irritated herself, Kaoru huffed out a breath and turned to stare out the window, not really wanting to be reminded of why Kenshin would have nothing to do with her tattoo anymore.

"Well... sounds like it's a good thing we're going out for a drink. Someone needs to relax. Too much tension in your life, Jouchan." Clapping his hands together, he spoke to Misao in a demanding voice. "Let's go, Driver. We need to get there before tomorrow."

Growling in mock anger, Misao slapped at him, Kaoru's giggles bursting from the backseat as she jumped forward to wrap her arms around Sano's neck, pinning him to the headrest. "I'll hold him down. You get him." Twisting and laughing, Sano tried to duck away, Misao watching the road and only swerving a little as she swatted at him. The night was finally off to a fine start.

x

Kenshin woke from his doze with a jerk, listening to the hushed laughter of the three returning from their trip downtown to the club. Sano's laughter was almost uncontrollable as he went on to exclaim about loving the look on some guy's face. Misao giggled, agreed, then told him to hush, followed closely by a loud thump and more giggles. Looking to the clock he blinked a couple times to find it only shortly after two in the morning.

"Seriously, I thought he was gonna die from shock. WHAM! He didn't know what hit him." More laughter, a grunt and a coinciding knock against the wall informed Kenshin that he was removing his shoes.

"Yeah, well, he deserved it. Though you really shouldn't have encouraged her. You know how she is when she's drunk. Look at what happened in high school."

"**He **deserved more than that." Pausing at the doorway, Kenshin crinkled his brow at the seriousness that entered Sano's voice. _What are they talking about?_

"Hey, where's Jouchan?"

Surprised by the question, and slightly anxious, Kenshin made his way out into the hallway and down to the other side of the house.

"She was right behind us. Oh, there she is. Careful there honey, you drank way too much."

Kenshin rounded the corner just in time to catch Misao offering to help Kaoru up the step into the house, her bent over form waving her off roughly.

"Are you sure, hon?" Kaoru nodded her head and Misao stepped back, still slightly hesitant. "If you think you can handle, I'm going to bed. The room's spinning way too much in here." Stumbling up the hallway, Misao jerked her head up in time to not run into Kenshin. "Whoa, where'd you come from?"

Ignoring her surprise, Kenshin stretched his neck around to get a better look at Kaoru. "Is Kaoru alright? I thought I heard you talking about someone."

Sano, on his own way down the hall, clapped him on the back a little harsher than necessary. "No need to worry about your little Kaoru there. She kicked his ass." Lumbering off as if that answered everything, Kenshin next turned to Misao. Ducking her head furtively, she stuttered.

"Well, uh... right, then. Time for bed. Too much sake." Giggling nervously, Misao took off down the hall, leaving Kenshin alone to deal with a very drunk Kaoru.

Sighing and lifting his eyes back toward her direction, he found her leaning up against the wall, her head titled back, eyes closed. She had shed herself of her shoes at least, and the long sleeved shirt she had departed in was nowhere to be seen.

"Kaoru-dono?" Trailing off silently, extremely unsure of how to handle this situation he now found himself in, Kenshin took a step forward, pausing when her hand twitched irritably.

"Bastard... thought he could touch me and get away with it." A sneer of disgust crossed her features, contorting her lips into a look he had never seen before. "Che..." Breathing deeply, she forced it all out her nose, her head rolling to one side.

Feeling something akin to anger well up inside his chest, Kenshin took a step forward, his voice when he spoke level and, if she could have registered the change, dangerous. "Who touched you?"

"Some asshole..." Trailing off, her words short as if she was out of breath, she cracked open an eye to look Kenshin over. "I don't like to be touched."

Pausing, he searched irises the color of slate, a heat, chemically as well as emotionally engineered, burning within their depths and deepening the color. Thinking over her statement he took another step forward.

"Why not?" Pushing her, wanting to know if he could get more out of her, he stopped his progress only when he was level with her.

Heavy lids fell closed again and the sneer reappeared on her face, a short laugh bursting from her lips. "Disgusting pigs... think I'm some kind of whore. Just like Hiroshi did."

Kenshin's stomach dropped at the name and his own face twisted in revulsion. "Hiroshi." Speaking the name back, the single word low and full of hate, Kenshin could not contain the irrational rage that threatened every time he thought about it.

"_A boy asked me out in school today."_

"_...Really?"_

"_Yeah, but I told him I needed to have permission... What do you think, Kenshin?"_

_**I think that boy can go to hell.**__ "Do whatever you want, Kaoru. You make your own decisions."_

"Fucking bastard... I told him not to touch me. It's his own fault he didn't listen." A smile curved her lips and she chuckled lightly. "He learned though." Slowly her body slid down the wall, falling over toward the step where they kept their shoes. Reaching out automatically, Kenshin steadied her, her hands bracing on his upper arms as she tried to right herself once more.

Creasing his brows as her head tipped forward, her bangs a dark curtain over her face, he stared at the wall above her, trying with all of his might to remember if Kaoru had ever hinted at Hiroshi harassing her. However, the only thing that came to mind was her subdued voice trying to carelessly throw off his question about the boy he hated.

"_Oh... I haven't seen him in a few months, Kenshin. But tell me about the pyramids. Did you get to go inside one?"_

Feeling her slender fingers wrap around both his wrists, gilded eyes looked down to her, curious if she had more to say. When her head lifted up and her eyes met his, his muscles involuntarily relaxed at the soft mixture of emotion they suddenly held.

"But I like it when you touch me, Kenshin." Freezing, eyes going wide, he could only stare as she lifted both his hands to her face, trailing the tips of his lax fingers over her cheekbones and down her jaw. Sapphire eyes closed languidly and she sighed, dipping her head into his left hand while letting his right drop lower to her throat, her warm skin a tantalizing slide of silk under his calluses. Swallowing roughly, he could only follow, down to the small indent at the base of her swanlike neck, over the curve of her collarbone to the material of her shirt, its softness coarse next to the ivory of her skin. Heart beating a painful staccato, he trembled when she finally led him downward, stopping over the curve of one pert breast, her hand offering encouraging pressure to cup the weight in his palm.

A low hum issued from the back of her throat, his fingers flexing in reaction, and her lips shook as she took in an unsteady breath. "Yes... I remember now..." Lashes fluttering with the aftereffects of alcohol and the beginnings of desire, she parted them to glance up into his own, a sensual smile settling over her features. "Kenshin... touch me..." Sweetly pleading, her body trembling already at the most briefest of contact, he forced in a sharp breath, unconsciously leaning forward until he took her breath in as his own, her hands slipping from his to land on his chest. The situation manipulated... the temptation was too strong.

Her lips were soft, rich, passionate like he remembered them to be, the alcohol a familiar bitter tang on his tongue, drugging his senses further. Fingers molded around the back of her neck, twining between thick strands and fairly fisting with desperation. Pushing her back into the wall, feeling his blood pump harder at the encouraging moan that vibrated her throat, her arms lifted to circle his neck and shoulder. Tilting his head to take the kiss deeper, his other hand slipped down her side to flatten low on her back, pressing her hips forward and joining their shadows as one in the hallway. Her weight shifting, she arched into him, provoking his forceful actions and he gave a moan back, time and place forgotten as he lost himself to heated thoughts and the spicy, sweet smell of jasmine.

Mind fuzzy and thoughts fading from lucid to primitive; every touch shared burning highly sensitive skin; frustration falling under fierce triumph as the time and space between intimacy resulted in the almost painful rise of pleasure; Kenshin did not register the entirety of the situation until the sting of her biting nails dug into his shoulder blade.

The action was passionate, driven by desire, and yet even as anticipation jerked sharply at his navel, he snatched at the frantic reasoning a part of his mind was shouting over the much more evocative hints another was whispering. _She's drunk! She doesn't know what she's doing!_

Breaking harshly away from her lips, his breathing heavy and actions sluggish, he made it only far enough away to lean his forehead into her jaw.

_She knew enough to refuse the one before..._

_That's different._

Hot breath ghosted over his ear, her chest rising and falling against his own as she labored for air, her nails flexing impatiently against his back.

_Is it so very different?_

_She didn't want him..._

_Ahh... because she wants you. She wants this. Don't disappoint her._ Tempting words tickled his conscious, lightly dancing around his head as if given from another source altogether, and yet he knew they were his own. Because it was what he wanted.

_But..._ Fading again, he protested weakly, still unsure. Still aware that there was something wrong.

_S__he will be mine dammit!_

Molten eyes snapped open, anger seething from every angle of his rigid form. He hated his inability to decide, annoyed that his thoughts were no longer stable and sure like they had once been when concerned with her. He no longer wanted to question. He wanted to act. Wanted to be driven by instincts once more. And instinct urged him to please, to savor... even as it also urged him to take.

Leaning forward, he nuzzled his nose along the shell of her ear, breathing deeply the scent of her hair, the sweat on her skin. Lips tilting predatorily at the shudder that clenched her muscles, he pulled back, nibbling along the line of her jaw. She was so hot, heated flesh scorching the very air surrounding them, her clothes sticking to her like a second skin. Meeting her mouth for a slow, drugging kiss, he explored her leisurely this time, the velvet stroke of her tongue giving fuel to his imagination. Releasing his fingers from the bound strands of her hair, he moved so she was caged between his arms, palms flat against the much cooler wooden wall behind her. Separating their bodies to a mere breath of air, he let his lazy gaze drink in her appearance, satisfied with the bruised blush of her lips and the way lashes fluttered in dark half-moons against her cheekbones.

Waiting expectantly as they parted, wanting to see the passion filled irises of his beloved, he watched deep cerulean irises focus unsteadily on his face. Glazed and delightfully lethargic, they reminded him of the deep blue of the Caribbean; clean, clear, filling him with the sudden desire to dive in and revel in its warm embrace. Coaxing him to fall into a blessed freedom where worry and fear were no longer real and life was like the utopia heaven was always whispered to be. She quavered under his scrutiny, the arm wrapped around his neck sliding off so her fingers could trace delicately over his lower lashes, a content smile trembling onto her mouth.

"Kenshin."

The sound of her voice was soft, tender, so much affection and pleasure glowing in her eyes and on her face that it projected into her words. Amber eyes softening to a pale gold, he answered with the gentle brush of his bottom lip over hers, teasing briefly before ducking down to follow the line of her throat. The fingers on his face dove upward, tangling deep into his hair as she whimpered agreement of his direction, breath catching when he bit lightly onto a cord of muscle. Happily intent on bringing about her pleasure, he didn't stop his progress to that little hollow at the base of her throat when she spoke a second time, her voice shaking even more violently as his tongue dove in to explore.

"Kenshin... I..."

"Yes, koishii?"

"I..." She swallowed thickly, her breathing becoming slightly haggard... heaving in a very awkward motion. "I think I'm gonna throw up."

With no time to process the statement, he could barely move when she broke hastily away, her footsteps echoing down the hall while he stared incoherently at the wood in front of him. A space that was so recently occupied by a living dream now empty and filling him once more with frustration and resigned restraint.

_Well that'll kill a person's self-esteem._

It took the better part of a minute to come to terms with her disappearance, his head falling forward to rest against the wall as he steadied his breathing and clamped down hard on his clamoring libido. Teeth grinding, heart beat slowing reluctantly, muscles tense and screaming in defiance, he pushed himself straight and followed after. In the state she was currently in, she would need taking care of.

As he rounded the corner in the hallway, he found light flooding outward from the open door of the bathroom, the sickening sound of a stomach emptying into the toilet meeting his ears. Sympathy moving in where desire had been, he stepped up to the doorway with the intention of helping in any way that he could, only to freeze in surprise at the sight that filled his vision.

Red, bright and defiant, spread across her right shoulder blade and his first desperate thought was that she was bleeding. Somehow he had unknowingly hurt her. Hurrying forward, he reached out a hand to find the source when he finally focused on its true substance. It wasn't blood, but ink, in a very specific pattern that forced the breath right out of his lungs. Apparently his Kaoru had decided upon another tattoo.

That it was the angry form of a dragon somehow did not surprise him, with its red scales detailed along its lithe body, golden talons and horns curved wickedly, giving it a menacing quality. A long muzzle was held open in a perpetual snarl, ivory teeth sharp and giving warning to any who would defy his claim, hissing at those who would get too close. Amber irises stared into his, the tilt of his brows speaking of power and rage, little horns lining the ridge and enhancing its prickly nature. Even as its presence alone spoke a message, it was the possessive kanji held in its claws that revealed its true purpose.

_Mine._

It was a brand. An irrefutable claim. The hold that the dragon had on the word not only firm but loving, its weight braced on the black lines even as it appeared to cradle it against the curve of its belly. A long tail, sharp spikes decorating its end, curled around the bottom, like a mother cat encircling her babes as they slept against her warmth. The message was very clear. This woman already belonged to someone and that someone did not take kindly to those who overstepped or challenged his authority and hold over her.

Unconsciously he let his fingers touch the bare skin of her back, running wonderingly over the smooth tattoo and the commitment she had made to it... to him. Caught in his awe, the heat of her flesh like the fire of its breath, he shook his head sharply when she hiccoughed, a small whimper of weakness soaked with tears filling the room. Smoothing his whole hand over her back, remembering the current predicament, he rubbed comfortingly up and down, kneeling next to her and bracing her weight back against him.

"Shh... it's ok, Kaoru. It'll pass." She lay her head down on his shoulder, helpless tears swimming down her face, her body a dead weight on his chest.

"Go-men na-sai." Another hiccup and she let out a tearful breath, her eyes closing as she let her forehead roll into his jaw.

Shaking his head, he quieted her, reaching around to grab a washcloth out of a drawer next to him then lifting his shoulders upwards to get at the sink and run warm water over it. Wiping tenderly at her chin, he removed any trace of moisture on her face, dropping the cloth in favor of his fingers when her tears would not stop.

"Don't cry, koishii. Please, don't cry." Anxiety taking over when she would not quit, he cuddled her closer into his lap, his lips a soft press on the crown of her head.

"I'm sorry, Kenshin... I'm so sorry." Strong fingers clutched at his shirt, her lungs heaving, her words strained but insistent. "Don't leave me... I didn't mean to... Please..."

Eyes narrowing in pain, he held her tighter, trying to quiet her, not wanting her to worry. It wasn't her fault, he couldn't blame her. Sobs overtook her body, pleas for him to stay, to forgive her pouring from her lips when she was able, desperation overtaking her as she fought to secure his presence to her.

"Please, Kenshin... you can't leave me... I know I shouldn't have... I'm sorry... please, don't hate me..." Her voice trailed off and his heart trembled at the implied meaning. Kaoru was not talking about the most recent occurrence, but that one that had happened three years prior. "I'll do whatever you want... be whatever you want. Please. Just... stay." Her distress was rising to a level of hysteria, Kenshin unable to calm her with his voice as she seemed not to hear him. In the end it was exhaustion that wore her down, her lips moving tiredly as she whispered into his neck, her arms lying limply in her lap.

"Shh, koishii… it's ok…" Lifting a hand to dive into her hair, he meticulously began picking out the pins holding it up, continuing to slide the length through his fingers long after the last pin lay forgotten on the counter top. Her murmurs softened, her breathing deepening until the gentle lull of his touch sent her off into the land of dreams.

Staying his hand, long fingers still tangled in her hair, he tiredly rested his cheek on the curve of her skull, adjusting her weight carefully to a more comfortable position.

That Kaoru blamed herself... that her fear and desperation had taken over her insides so thoroughly... it hurt more than the irrational notion of her sacrificing her happiness for him. With everything he had gone through in those last three years himself he could understand now what it might have been like for her. Living in fear of what the other might now think of you, wondering continuously if forgiveness was even an option. Thinking only of what might have been if... If only this had happened instead. If only he had not refused her...

That his decision was based more off of fear than true rejection was not a plausible excuse. It had still hurt her. It had still crushed her heart with a forceful potency that no other small slight he had ever delivered could have. His rash decision had still made her cry. Made her doubt. That she would doubt him was nothing. That she would doubt herself was unbearable. Kaoru, his Kaoru, was fearless, unwavering, bold and so very strong-willed and confident that it was almost impossible to claim that with only a few short words he could kill all of that within her.

_It scares me to realize, to admit, that Hiko-sama was right... How it can be true has always been a wonder... but it seems that with only a small showing of her true turmoil my thoughts can order themselves with an almost eerie precision. There can be no other truth. Not when I myself can see it._

Violet irises deep and sad, he leaned back into the sink, watching with a trembling heart the fitful way she slept against him. Eyelashes fluttering irritably, brow furrowing spasmodically, her lips parted to whisper something inaudible at the same time one hand twitched out of her lap. She was scared. Frightened. Because of him. And throughout the entire lifetime he had known her, claimed her, that was the one thing he had dreaded doing. That as the Battosai of the war, as the infamous shadow assassin whom others feared so indefinitely, she, who had accepted him as a human, would finally feel that anxiety as well. How ironic that it would not be until after he had separated himself from that man would she learn of that fear.

Hugging her closer to him, he murmured a choked reassurance, wanting to kill that terror before it grew any further. Whether she could actually hear and understand him, or if it was merely the warmth of his body surrounding her, Kaoru's muscles finally relaxed, her forehead snuggling into the crevice of neck and shoulder, her fingers flattening against the cage over his heart.

_Gomen nasai, Kaoru. I did not mean for this to happen... because I too am no stranger to that fear our weaknesses bring._

x

Kaoru woke with a groan, one arm instinctively pulling up to rest over her eyes, protecting her retinas from the harsh morning sunlight. Rolling to her side, she snuggled deeper into her blankets, trying to recreate a warmth she was fiercely missing. Shivering when the chill of early spring continued to penetrate her little shell of cotton, she groaned again and sat up. Or tried to. Wincing as her head felt like it was going to split in two, she covered her face with both hands, her fingers massaging her temples futilely.

_What the hell happened?_ Irritated and grumpy, she cracked open one bleary eye to gaze around her room, landing on the only thing that was out of place. Next to her futon, casually placed on the side nearest the inside shoji, was a small plate with two painkillers resting at the center, a half-full glass of water standing next to it. Suddenly grateful, Kaoru grabbed for them, popping the pills without hesitation and gulping down the water, hacking slightly at the sour aftertaste of a mixture she could only guess at. Alcohol, stomach acid, and the pasty dryness of morning mouth.

With the thought of some relief filling her brain, she focused passed the unmistakable symptoms of a hangover and tried to remember the night before. Misao had called, her and Sano wanting to go to a club. There was the car ride over, the excited pull of the music at the entrance, and the first wonderful taste of some fiery beverage to start them off. She remembered dancing, with Misao as well as Sano, laughing in good nature at the silly suggestions and moves they all tried. Then she remembered having to use the restroom, and the incident that occurred on her way back to the bar. Frowning, Kaoru hoped the asshole woke with a bigger headache than the one she was sporting at the moment. Too bad it probably wasn't possible. He hadn't gone back to the bar and knocked back more shots than he could count. He hadn't accepted a challenge from Sano to keep a mind off of going back and finishing the job.

Groaning again, Kaoru contemplated flopping back into the cushions, then thought better of it. Not with the achy way her body felt. _I must have been really sick... really, really sick._ Grimacing, she stood carefully to her feet, stumbling only slightly to her dresser to change. It was only then did she notice with relief that she was wearing something other than the clothes she had left in. Too bad she couldn't remember actually putting them on. _I guess it was Misao's turn to take care of __**me**__ for a change._ Smiling in amusement, she recalled their last adventure fondly, a very drunk Misao giggling and singing with a devilish glee.

When she finally exited her room it was to find the delicate smell of miso soup drifting out from the kitchen. Smile broadening, she sighed, thankful that it wasn't something that would upset her stomach more. _I love that man._ Making her way to the dining room, she pushed aside the shoji and smiled weakly at the three faces already in there.

"Look who decided to join the land of the living." Misao giggled from her position next to Yahiko on one end. "Good thing too, lunch is almost ready and these two were already deciding on how to split up your share."

"Lunch?" Slightly dismayed, Kaoru looked automatically to the clock on the wall, both hands almost straight up and down.

Sano laughed this time. "You should know by now not to accept any challenge from me... especially when it comes to alcohol."

Kaoru made a face at him, settling herself on her cushion by the table. "And you should know better than to bait me when I'm already mad."

Replying childishly himself, Sano stuck his tongue back at her. "When have I ever learned not to bait you? Besides, it's too much fun."

Pursing her lips, Kaoru glared at him, a smile quirking one corner of her mouth. Keeping her eyes on him, she turned her head back toward Misao, only diverting her gaze when he started laughing again. "I guess I have you to thank for getting me in bed... I must have been horrible..." Trailing off when Misao started shaking her head, Kaoru raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Actually..." Giggling nervously, Misao ducked her head. "I, uh... was a little drunk myself... but surely you remember. You told me you didn't need help…" It was Misao's turn to trail off when Kaoru shook her head in negation, a frown line appearing on her forehead. "You don't remember? Anything?"

"I... remember... getting in the car, well…" Giggling, she scratched a hand over the back of her head. "...falling into the car. But, if you didn't help me..." Huffing out a breath she turned a stern glare on Misao. "Don't tell me you left me with poor Kenshin."

Kaoru watched aquamarine irises wince then dart to something behind her. Turning in question, she found Kenshin standing in the doorway, his head bowed down, his figure unmoving for the barest space of time. As if he was listening to the conversation unfold. Then he was lifting his head, a smile on his face as he brought the food to the table.

"I'm glad you are awake now, Kaoru-dono. I was not wanting to have to wake you, but you really need to eat something." Placing the tray on the table, he set to work serving the food to his four hungry dinner-mates.

Blushing slightly, Kaoru bit her lip. _It had to have been Kenshin who helped me. There's no way Sano would have... and Yahiko..._ Looking over at the silent boy, his bowl already to his lips as he sucked down the meal, she shook her head in amusement. _... that would be the day._

"Now don't eat too fast, Kaoru-dono. Your stomach needs to settle." Looking down as Kenshin dished out a generous portion for her, she nodded absentmindedly to his suggestion. That was something safe to settle her attention on. Eating without throwing it back up. So much safer than thinking about how she had indeed ended up in different clothing than what she had come home in... or how it was Kenshin who had helped her with that little situation. Thankfully he was the one person she could trust her incoherent self with. Kenshin would not take advantage of her like others would. Like another had tried to do.

Looking up with a smile when Kenshin finally settled himself next to her, Kaoru blushed again, this time in shame. "Gomen nasai, Kenshin. I hope I wasn't too much trouble." A slightly guilty look crossed his features and she frowned, but like his hesitance in the doorway, it did not live long.

"You were no trouble, Kaoru-dono. I do not mind taking care of you." His smile was kind, but withdrawn, and Kaoru wondered how badly he was lying to her. _Shit... I must have been really horrible... Damn, my language does go downhill when I'm drunk._ Wincing, she ducked her head to her soup, taking a small sip before glowering at her student's helpful input about his experience in the matter.

"Ha! You'd be the first. Last time Kaoru came home drunk she woke me up carrying on about something stupid at the top of her lungs. Slurring and slipping all over the place. Then she spent an hour in the bathroom heaving her guts up into the toilet. Sheesh... she's a nightmare. Oww! What was that for!"

Kaoru resettled herself on her cushion, her hand stinging slightly from the blow she had landed on his head. Taking a sip of her soup she ignored his question, countering it instead with one of her own. "Have you started your training this morning, Yahiko-chan?"

"Training? You were passed out in bed." Rubbing a hand over the sore spot on his temple, he glared back at her unamused face.

"So that gives you the right to slack off, does it?" When he only continued to sulk, she calmly bent back to her food. "Do you remember the move I showed you yesterday?" She nodded at his low assent. "You are going to perfect it."

"What? But..."

"And you are not going to take a break until you can prove to me you have. Finish eating and go change."

"But Kaoru-sensei..." Recognizing her mood, he realized a little late that picking on her today was not a wise idea.

"You can always start now with no dinner."

"Hai, Kaoru-sensei." Subdued, Yahiko brought his bowl back to his mouth, knowing that it would be much worse if he argued.

Misao shared a look with Sano, dark eyebrows raised in surprise at her uncharacteristically harsh manner towards the boy. Kaoru regularly got angry with him, but this... was actually more constructive, but neither knew if it was really better. Not with Yahiko looking slightly whipped.

Kenshin eyed Kaoru curiously, but relaxed when he saw a small smile twitch one corner of her mouth. The boy would get over it, and he doubted she would be cruel enough to leave him out there well into the night trying to learn a move he had only seen performed once, let alone perfect it. Bowing his head to curtain his features with red hair, he hid his eyes so as not to give away his next thoughts.

Even though the decision to pretend like he had done little more than help her took no effort to bring about, it was still achingly disappointing. However, knowing that Kaoru could not remember anything that had happened between them the night before, he was not about to inform her. More because he knew that it would only upset her. With her seeming reaction to their last incident fresh in his mind, he did not want to bring harsh memories back to the surface, or have them relived. Besides, if Kaoru knew now that he had almost taken advantage of her… she would undoubtedly be angry.

Last night, should not have happened. It was clear to him now that he should not have indulged in such actions, even if she had been willing. That she was drunk enough to not remember a thing about it in the morning proved his line of thinking. Fortunately he could count himself lucky enough that she didn't, or their situation would be a lot messier than it already was. Adding more confusion, doubt, and fear to her already seemingly mangled conscience would only make him feel more guilty, and he didn't want her blue eyes looking as bruised as they had on that day he had left.

Movement caught his attention out of the corner of his eye and he looked up in time to find Kaoru darting him a furtive glance. There was worry in her blue irises and he smiled softly to try and dispel it. Something in the look must have reassured her because she smiled back before dropping her attention once more to her half-empty bowl. Curious as to what might have caused this sudden nervousness, he studied her face for a couple more seconds. Nothing else could be discerned from her features, however, and he mentally shrugged it off.

Yahiko left soon after, his food gone faster than he wished, one could tell, and he stood with a silent thanks to go and change. Kenshin smiled at his retreating figure and stood as well to start collecting the dishes. Sano stood with an excuse of his own, saying something about the wound in his stomach still bothering him and how he needed to have it looked at. Amusement passed over the two girls' faces and they shared a look that Kenshin understood, without having to see it. Misao and Kaoru moved to the engawa as he finished cleaning, their soft voices drifting through the open shoji to his position by the sink, a gentle lull of sound that calmed a slightly frazzled area of his nerves.

When the dishes were all dry and replaced in the cabinets, Kenshin wandered his way out to the porch, a smile passing between him and the women already settled there. Kaoru, her back braced up against the solid wall of the building looked tired, but satisfied with her position for the moment. Azure eyes blinking slowly as she breathed deeply the fresh air brought toward her on the breeze. Misao sat opposite her, her own weight leaning against one of the braces, her hair a long weave of dark strands that lay limply beside her, the end swaying slightly with the wind. Sitting himself down comfortably on the edge, his back to Kaoru, he listened as well as felt the silence drift down over them, his presence stilling their tongues as if they were not quite sure what was suitable to say.

"Um…" Misao fidgeted, her fingers twirling her braid. "…I think I'll go check on that brat. Make sure he's actually working on what you told him to."

With Misao gone, Kaoru was more aware of Kenshin's figure sitting mere feet from her, the smell of his soap drifting gently to her nose. Nervous and guilty of what she had undoubtedly done the night before, even if she couldn't remember it, she played with the hem of her shirt, picking at a thread that was unraveling from the stitch.

"Kenshin…"

"Hmm?"

"I…" She frowned at her fingers, her brows curling inward. "I hope I wasn't too horrible to you last night. I… I know I'm not… exactly the nicest person to be around when I'm drunk. And…" Biting her lip, she focused intently on the texture of her shirt, determined not to look at the curious expression directed over his shoulder. "…my language is… atrocious… and I say things that… I don't really mean to say, and things that I shouldn't… so…" Swallowing she met his eyes sheepishly. "Gomen nasai."

His smile was warm, if not amused, and he shook his head. "I do not mind taking care of you, Kaoru-dono." The repeated statement was deliberate, and she knew he wasn't lying, but the worry she felt did not lessen when his smile turned slightly sardonic. "Though you did say some pretty interesting things…"

Fear springing to life, she felt her eyes widen and bit her lip harder. "Such as…?"

"Hmm…" Turning his gaze back to the outer wall, Kenshin shrugged his shoulders. "…I was slightly intrigued with this guy you apparently taught a lesson to."

Kaoru flushed and muttered something under her breath, Kenshin's laughter lightening the air. "No doubt he deserved it, little one. Though I don't think he will agree with you, since he will be sporting that black eye for the remainder of the month." He laughed again, and Kaoru stared at his back in wonder, the endearment he let so casually roll off his tongue jerking at her heart with hope.

"And… I didn't say anything else?" Holding her breath, praying that her tongue hadn't been loose enough to bring up any other thoughts, she waited tensely for him to respond.

"Actually… you did." Shifting his weight, Kenshin turned so that he was leaning back against the brace next to him, his head tilted in her direction. There was a dangerous look in his nearly blue gaze, the darkness of his irises speaking of anger, jerking at her chest in a totally different way than before. "You mentioned Hiroshi."

She jumped slightly at the way he spit the name, and she shifted her body uncomfortably. "D-did I?"

"Yes…" Deliberately slowing his speech, he searched the uncertain sapphire irises across from him. "you did mention something about him. Maybe you would like to tell me more."

Taking a deep breath, Kaoru made herself shrug her shoulders indifferently. "Not really. I mean, what is there to tell? That was like five years ago, Kenshin. I'd probably be lucky if I remembered." Forcing a laugh, she steadied her gaze out toward the sky, watching his reactions in her peripheral vision.

"I would settle for a summary… and why I wasn't told."

_Why you weren't told? Isn't that obvious? Look how you're reacting now and it's been five years since then. Not to mention you don't even really know what happened yet._ Dropping her head, Kaoru thought back to how it had even occurred. Why she had even accepted his stupid invitation to date him anyway. _I wasn't even attracted to him… in fact, he was rather appalling, thinking he was just so cool because he was a senior. I just… hated the way… __**his**__ voice sounded so indifferent on the phone. Like he didn't care… I wanted him to be jealous, I wanted him to tell me no. I wanted to hear that growl of possession again, the way I used to hear it when… when he openly claimed me as his own._ Jaw trembling, Kaoru bit her lip. _It was such a stupid idea. Such a __**childish **__idea. All it did was make him want to talk to me less. All it did was make the time in between calls become longer and longer until…_

"Kaoru…" He was becoming impatient.

"I don't like to be touched." Kenshin quirked a smile at the statement, shaking his head at the petulant face that settled over her features. "When I told him that… he decided to try and find another way around it." Frowning at the memory, Kaoru crossed her arms. "Apparently there is some kind of drug that can be slipped into your drink that… has a stronger affect than alcohol does." Grimacing she made a motion that suggested she was sickened by something. "And apparently he thought it would be a good idea to use it on me. I didn't know what was going on until I couldn't stand up without some kind of effort. It… actually pissed me off." Closing her eyes, Kaoru trembled with anger at the remembrance of what happened next.

_The bright overhead lights of the party dimmed, darkness surrounding her and distorting her senses. A hand braced against her back, steadying her helpfully… before shoving her forward onto a soft mattress, the bounce jerking her head awkwardly back and forth. Grunting, she tried to stand, but a firm hand pushed her down, her disoriented mind unable to fight through the thickness to move her limbs properly. Roughly she was flipped, her stomach jerking, wanting to revolt against the liquid sloshing on its insides, and she whimpered at the feel, swatting limply at the fingers working on her buttons. Her voice protested thickly, a deeper one answered harshly, and then something touched the inside of her thigh, her breath catching in surprise. She told him to stop, but he was ignoring her now. Frustrated, she slapped at him again, but he caught her arm, pinning her to the bed. Struggling she tried to break his grip, desperation cutting through the darkness. When that hand finally found the hem of her panties, she felt her anger snap like a whip._

Heated sapphire eyes met Kenshin's own dark gaze with a rage and disgust that spoke more than the quivering words spilling from her mouth. "Nobody touches me unless I want them to."

Kenshin's muscles relaxed thoughtfully, his irises softening back to a violet. _"…I like it when you touch me, Kenshin."_ "And?"

"And?" Throwing her arms in the air, she snorted. "And I broke his arm in three places. Not counting two of his fingers. I shattered his kneecap, I broke his nose and I seriously doubt he will ever be able to reproduce." Kenshin couldn't help the wince that pulled through his lips, and he eyed her amused expression cautiously. "Now, why didn't I tell you?"

_Because he would have lost the bones in his right hand, not simply had a couple of them broken._

Kaoru sighed. "Somebody must have called the police because we were both taken to the hospital. When Tousan showed up…" Kaoru's face contorted guiltily. "…I seriously thought… he was going to kill somebody." Seeing the surprise on Kenshin's face, she smiled wryly. "They explained to him what was wrong with me… and that I shouldn't have even been able to defend myself. That made him laugh, so… he took me home, and promised not to tell you. I figured…" She dropped her gaze back to her shirt, her fingers toying with the string once more. "that if Tousan would react the way he did…" she trailed off. "I didn't want you to worry about me."

Silence fell over them again, and Kenshin nodded to himself, smiling dryly at her wording. It sounded eerily familiar. _She knew I would be angry. Was she afraid I would do something drastic? If she thought Hiko-sama was angry enough to show it… then probably. And I can't truthfully tell myself that I wouldn't have. It still angers me that I wasn't told, but… there would have been nothing I could do about it after the fact. And I was halfway across the world. By the time I would have gotten back, it would have been pointless. She took care of it well enough on her own anyway._ Taking a deep breath, he let it go, remembering one last thing he needed to bring up.

"There was something else, Kaoru-dono."

Looking up quickly she felt her stomach drop. _Kami-sama, now what?_

"… Why the second tattoo?" His eyes were almost hurt, his expression slightly pained, and it angered her.

"You saw that, did you?"

"…Hai."

"… Do you really need to ask, Kenshin?" Voice deceptively soft, she watched the leaves rattle gently in the trees.

"It isn't true… it was never true." He braced himself as her eyes swung back to him, their depths unreadable, probing into his own.

"Really?"

"It was wrong of me to ever say that to you. To make you believe that." Holding eyes that were steadily darkening, he prepared himself for an outburst like the last… surprised when she cut him off firmly.

"No… apparently the fault is mine… for being naïve enough to believe you in the first place." Struggling to stand she turned her back to him, pausing only as the sound of footsteps brought Misao back into their company.

"Hey, I was hoping I could… is this a bad time?" Looking between the two of them, Misao felt the tension in the air press in on her as well, making her fidget uncomfortably. Kaoru smiled sadly and shook her head.

"What did you need?"

"Well…" Turning her attention to the red-head, she unconsciously took on an expression that saddened him further. "… I… thought that since you, ya know, have been gone the last three years, that you might have… ran into Aoshi-sama?" It came out questioningly and she shook her head in an echo of his when he answered.

"I'm sorry, Misao-dono. I don't know where Shinomori-san is. I haven't seen him since we parted ways in Singapore."

"But… but…" Brows furrowing in confusion, in desperation, Misao took an unsteady breath. "Wasn't he… didn't you… Then why did you leave last time if you didn't go back to help Aoshi-sama?"

Kenshin hung his head, the fall of his hair blocking his features from view; hiding the pain that creased his face. "You… don't know, Misao-dono?"

"No… Kaoru said you needed time to think about your life, or something. That you hadn't found what you were looking for yet. Right, Kaoru?" Turning Misao looked behind her, searching for an affirmative response from her best friend, only to find the engawa empty. Thoroughly confused she twisted back to Himura, and found him already standing with his back to her, his feet leading him away from her as well. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Shinomori-san did not inform me where he was heading, Misao-dono. I'm sorry that I can't be of more help to you." And he was gone, leaving Misao bewildered and feeling extremely left out. Huffing out a breath of annoyance, Misao jerked herself around and followed after Kaoru.

The woman was sitting on the floor in her room when Misao found her, playing absentmindedly with an old fan that Kenshin had brought home for her a long time ago. Dropping down in front of her, Misao leaned forward over her crossed legs, her arms bracing on the floor between them. "Kaoru… what's going on? What happened when Himura left that last time? And why didn't you tell me?"

Kaoru laughed humorlessly, snapping the fan shut with a loud clap. "I've been hearing that statement a lot lately."

Pursing her lips at Kaoru's dodgy response, Misao tilted her head to the side to try and get a better look of the other woman's face. "Himura seemed really hurt… does this have anything to do with the way he's been treating you since he came back?"

"…Yes… Misao…" Sitting back, Kaoru looked away from the younger girl, her heart tugging painfully at her emotions. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"But… I'm your best friend, aren't I? Aren't we supposed to share everything?" The hurt look in her eyes made Kaoru feel worse, her face crumpling against a ball of tears in her chest.

"I'm sorry, Misao-chan… I just…" Angrily she swiped at a tear on her cheek, unable to protest when Misao tugged her forward for a hug. "I'm so ashamed of what happened… I couldn't… tell you… and…"

"Kaoru… why did he leave? You can tell me and… it might make you feel better if you talk about it." Misao patted her gently on the back, comforting and encouraging.

Kaoru hiccupped and relaxed against her friend, shaking her head in sorrow. "He left… because I told him to leave…"

x

A/N: Ok, so the reason why this chapter took so long, was because I kind of took a three week hiatus. Sorry. Not to mention I acquired a new laptop and the keyboard is slightly different and I haven't quite gotten used to it yet. Sometimes it won't type a letter even after I hit the key. I guess I'm too used to my old one being touchy. So, if there are any mistakes in the chapter, I am blaming it on my keyboard. It sucks learning how to type fast, and then having to slow down just because you're missing one stupid letter. Anyway, how did you like this chapter? Was it fun? Or down right wrong? Heeheehee Well… the next one will be all about what happened… and it might take me awhile to get it out, because I am going to be extremely picky about it. So don't be surprised if it takes a month or so. Sorry, but I'm going to go psycho on it. Lol Ok, review and tell me what you didn't like… and what you did if you really have to. XD


	18. Painful Memories

I uh… fixed it. Sorry it took so long….

… minor suggestiveness…

**Glossary**

**Sou ka? -** Is that so?

**Yamae! -** Stop!

**Onegai -** please (request)

**Shishou -** master

x

Disclaimer: …

x

"I remember the day,

When you left for Santa Monica.

You left me to remain,

With all your excuses for everything.

And I remember the time,

When you left for Santa Monica.

I remember the day you told me it's over."

_Santa Monica_ - Theory of a Deadman

x

Chapter 18: Painful Memories

**~Past~**

The day was hot, humid, with that sticky pastiness that presses in on the skin, making it hard for Kenshin to breathe. On any other day, he probably would not have minded, but trekking up the mountain in this kind of weather was almost unbearable. Not that he could really curse it too much, though, because today was going to be a good day. It had to be.

Dressed in a loose button-up shirt and dress pants that were sticking to his body in patches, he looked just this side of ragged. His hair was limp with sweat, his shoes were dusty from walking, and the bag over his shoulder gave an awkward hobble to his step. Violet irises were dull and tired, the dark circles under them enhancing his appearance, and his shoulders slumped forward with fatigue. The last couple of years had finally taken their toll and the ex-hitokiri was beginning to feel as well as acknowledge that a break was definitely needed. Then again… with everything that had happened, this break was going to be an extended one. Hopefully, for the rest of his life.

Cheered at the prospect of what that meant, unlimited access to home and the warmth of a bright smile, Kenshin closed his eyes in relief when he came upon the solid structure of his master's house. The quiet building stood alone in the embrace of trees, the sunlight filtered through the leaves diminishing the heat enough so that he could feel it. A bird chirped off to his left, its wings fluttering against the branches briefly before it took flight. Smiling, he made his way to the door.

The inside was just as silent and calm as the out, the cool interior dark with the absence of light. Looking around curiously he made his way through the house, stopping finally in his room to drop off his bag and dig around for something cleaner to change into. Apparently his little one was occupied elsewhere, and with the chance given, he was going to take a shower. Although the pain throbbing from the vicinity of his chest was a much more demanding ache than the cries of his muscles, he did not want to see her again after so long with the way he smelled.

A soft smile tilting tired lips, he sighed deeply as he stepped out of the bathroom and made his way back into the hallway, too exhausted to use his ki sensing to search for her presence. Walking lazily to the back, clean and refreshed, he exited into the yard once more and found his ears picking up noises from the clay shed Hiko kept a little ways back from his kiln. Peeking inside, he blinked twice before he could fully make out what was going on.

Hiko, his large form dressed in only a tank top and loose pants, was bent over a small clay jar, the wet substance speckled all over his clothes and skin. This did not seem to bother him, however, and the look of concentration on his face was reflected onto the delicate shape the piece was beginning to show. The sight was almost humorous, but Kenshin couldn't find it in himself to laugh… because experience and age were starting to set in on him and he found only that the picture was almost touching… respectful even. That his master was teaching him unknowingly about what it means to possess true strength and how it is to be used.

"The girl isn't here."

Jumping guiltily at being caught staring, Kenshin stuttered like he was a child again, immediately trying to come up with an excuse to get him out of trouble. Stopping himself before he could start, Kenshin frowned at the amused expression that crossed his master's face.

"Where is she?"

"Where do you think she is? She's training." Slowly shaping the lip of the jar, he pinched the clay between thumb and forefinger. "I'd be careful too… She has grown." Throwing a side look, he returned his full attention to his work, smirking at the empty doorway. "You never did listen very well, baka."

Eager now with the knowledge of where she was, Kenshin quick stepped his way up the mountain, ignoring all else on the path but the destination it would lead him to; the person on the other end. Two years. Almost two years since he had seen her last, and with everything that had happened in between… he desperately wanted to feel that peace and warmth she would give as a balm to his wounded pride. Not to mention the grip of confusing jealousy with the coming of her first boyfriend, and he was glad that phase in her life had not lasted long. Though he strayed away from such thoughts as what might have happened during it.

Then there was the loss of his comrades, the fierce anger at being denied the chance to at least make their deaths meaningful. With the cancellation of their mission, he had mourned the chance, yet gladly came home, but Shinomori-san… had showed such a cold rage that it scared him. Now, he worried about the man's stability and the pain he could cause himself with the path he had chosen. Hopefully, that path would not claim his soul or his heart.

Brows curling, Kenshin shook his head of such dark thoughts. The day was bright, the sun warm now with the cooling of the shower to diminish his body temperature, and his own path was achingly hopeful. Cheerful. Leading him only to what he missed most in his life, and what he needed most to continue forward with it. Although he always searched for what was missing, what he needed to feel atoned… something about this place, something about **her **always brought him back. Because he could admit that he needed her as well. Her acceptance was most sought after.

Acceptance for past happenings. Because their past was intertwined, woven together… hardly a piece of it separate in its knot of blue and red. Keeping her near, selfish as it was, made him feel… safe. Like a large chunk of his heartache was stitched, wrapped and healing merely with the smile she would give to him. Knowing what he had done to her, to her family, how he had claimed her in the presence of her dead, drenched in their blood, he trembled inside with the sin and punishment he was sure to endure because of it. With her near… with her bundle of happiness and eagerness for his attention surrounding him, he felt as if that one dreaded night, though there had been many, was forgotten. Forgiven. And he needed that.

Sensitive ears picking up the roar of the waterfall, his head shot up, eyes searching now for any sign of her presence. A sharp cry cut through the air, followed by another, and he slowed his steps to quietly make his way forward. She was training alright, the harsh ring of a blade singing along with her own voice. Both ruthless in their abrupt combination. But… when did Kaoru train with a blade? Kaoru did not own a katana.

Though she did seem to know how to use one.

Body flowing freely through advanced kata, muscles shifting easily under her skin, his Kaoru danced around the clearing before him, a sight he had become used to over the years. Though she had grown since he had last seen her. Frowning instinctively at the thought, he shrugged it nonchalantly to the side, unaware of why that should matter. Ducking his eyes away from her for a second, he braced himself down beside an old pine tree, leaning most of his weight against its trunk as he perused his student.

She was happy, that was apparent in the glow of her eyes and the warmth of her ki, but she was also focused, the familiar set of her face telling him that she was thinking of nothing but what should be done next. There were differences in her now as well, however, things that he was not used to. She was quicker, much more graceful, her movements no longer choppy and unsure like those of a child's, but fluid and precise like a dancer's. The skill she showed was well beyond average, too, her rapid advancement through Hiten's techniques amazing, even to him; who had learned and perfected them in little under three years. Somehow he knew that his astonishment stemmed a lot from his wish to keep her as a child forever. As his little one who would always depend upon him and no one else. Not even herself.

Sighing as he realized that want would never be granted, he shifted his weight so that his head rested against the tree behind him as well, his violet irises watching her with a hint of sadness. Too many things about her spoke of womanhood now. There were too many undeniable traits. Cheekbones were sharpened in her maturity, her brow high and straight, her nose small and cute. Those large blue eyes that had stood out in her face during childhood now fit in perfectly with the rest of her features, long lashes framing their bright depths and spreading upward like twin fans. The thick unruly hair he had struggled to tame into a ponytail for those years was now pinned up into a topknot, the smaller hairs that escaped her tie sticking to her skin from sweat and spray. With it all off of her nape it emphasized the length of her neck in full, the graceful arc much more feminine than her activity suggested she should be.

Head lowering into his chest, that sadness that pulled at him dug into a small corner of his heart and nested, unwilling to let him think of anything else but the downside to these meanings. All too soon… she would be leaving him behind. No longer would he be the one looking back and wishing that he could stay. This next time they parted, he would be watching her walk away. Would he be able to handle that happening? Or would his life finally crumble down around his ears and leave him in a mess of broken memories and wistful imaginings of better days? Thoughts distracted by the abrupt silence from his Kaoru, Kenshin looked up to follow her form once again.

Kaoru was smiling, apparently content with the afternoon workout. Bright irises glowed with her joy, her ki saturated the air with her warmth, and a faint hum worked from her throat as she stretched her arms up and backwards over her head, the katana still present in her hands paralleling her spine. Faintly careless with the weapon - Kenshin's own assessment made through apprehensive eyes - she twirled it around in her fingers while she wandered over to a pile of gear. Bending to pick up the sheath, she brought the two together smoothly, bowing respectfully over their joined form before placing it on the ground next to a ceramic jug. Her attention turned to it next, her hands eagerly scooping up the plain tan pitcher and bringing it to her parched lips. Unfortunately the sun had heated the liquid inside, and Kenshin had to bite back a laugh when she made a face.

Smacking her tongue as she stared into the dark depths, her throat worked fruitlessly to dislodge the awful taste. Eyes turning thoughtful, she took a careful step back away from her other items, then dumped the whole contents over her head. Bangs now plastered to her forehead, she shook her head to try and whip them out of her eyes, little droplets of water spraying outward from her body. Another purse of pink lips informed Kenshin that this did not have the desired effect she had hoped for either.

With the ceramic jug replaced on the rocky ground, Kenshin watched as she stretched again, curling her back both ways before rolling her neck, another sound of approval working up her throat. Then she paused, her head relaxed back as she stared at the sky, and turned it to the side, as if something had caught her eye. A slow smile bloomed over her lips, an idea forming, and he saw her glance at the sky another time before bending over abruptly to remove her sandals.

_Now what are you up to, little one? _

Deciding it was time to let his presence be known, before she sped off into another spontaneous outburst of action, Kenshin rose from his position and stepped forward. With her feet free of sandals and tabi, her hands were already working on pulling out the ends of her gi from her hakama tie when Kenshin was halfway to her. Catching a shock of red out of the corner of her eye, she vaguely looked up and did a double take; an action that caused Kenshin no end of amusement.

"Kenshin?" Her voice was breathless, her hands cinched in the material of her shirt as she held it half open, her body turned sideways away from him. When he smiled at her questioning, she grinned back, her feet moving to take her to him before she even knew what she was doing. A giggle burst from the back of her throat as she impulsively jumped at him, and in her distraction she stubbed her toe on an upraised rock, a look of surprise widening her irises. Squealing as she tilted sharply forward, she slammed her eyes shut and threw her arms out in front of her.

Kenshin automatically jumped forward to catch her, scrapping his knees on the rough ground in the process of breaking her fall. Unused to her weight nearly matching his own, he ground his teeth as he was forced to bend backwards, his head knocking into a thankfully smooth rock. "Orroo…" Moaning softly, his vision sparkled with stars and he blinked to try and banish the edges of darkness pressing in on him, pain sprouting to his temples and down his neck when he shook his head.

"Kenshin? Oh no… Kenshin!" Her voice was coming from somewhere above him, and he could feel one of her hands smacking at his face gently. "Oh man… I'm sorry… I'm such a klutz." He grinned. He couldn't help himself; a chuckle breaking free when she huffed out a breath in mock annoyance. "Mou, Kenshin. You didn't have to do that."

"My skull's saying the same thing." Earning himself a half-hearted smack from that, Kenshin's grin turned to a small grimace when the pain throbbed, the opening of his eyes sending shots of fire down his retinas from the bright light. Blinking slowly, he focused on the figure above him, her sardonic blue irises telling him just exactly what she thought about his actions. Smiling again, the look softening in affection, his eyes wandered over her face, the fall of her bangs curtaining her forehead, shadowing her features; the curve of her lips as she spoke a tender chastisement, and warmth bloomed fiercely in his chest. Awareness coming back to him piece by piece, he noticed how her arms braced on either side of his head, that she was actually straddling his stomach, and that the gi she wore now hung wide open, revealing a very embarrassing sight for the poor man.

Eyes darting downward, they widened, concentrating back on her own pupils quickly, causing her to crease her brow in confusion. "Kenshin?" Suddenly helpless, feeling that there was no way out of this situation without being rude or causing further embarrassment, Kenshin slammed his eyes shut. It wasn't until red blossomed over his cheeks, though, did Kaoru finally catch onto his mortification. "Oh." Sitting up quickly, she only just realized herself what their position consisted of. Blushing and muttering, she levered herself off of him and sat, slightly awkward, on the rocks beside his prone figure. "Gomen nasai." _Nothing like that has ever bothered him before… but then… I am a woman now. _Kaoru let that thought sink in, a mischievous smile tilting a corner of her lips. _And he did notice…_

_Kami-sama, save me… I will have to be more careful what I do around her now. There are certain things that can no longer be considered proper behavior between us._

Kaoru rolled to her feet while Kenshin sat up slowly, a hand still on his head, rubbing tentatively on the base of his skull. Looking up to her uncertainly, he was grateful that she had pulled her gi back around her torso. Moving to stand, he winced when the scrapes on his knees reminded him that they were stinging as well.

"When did your flight come in, Kenshin? And why didn't you call and tell us before hand? We could have met you there."

Kenshin smiled at the obvious exasperation in her tone, scratching a hand over the back of his head as he gratefully allowed her to ease the tension in the air. "It was last minute. Besides, I didn't want to interrupt any plans that you had."

"Plans? Kenshin I haven't seen you in almost two years! What kind of plans could I have that would be more important than seeing you?" The honesty in her voice soothed an ache in his heart, and his features softened once more in tender affection, a slight sadness. Watching as she returned to her sandals she picked them up to place them more uniformly next to her other supplies. When she looked up again, she grinned slowly, a slight confusion clouding her irises and he knew she was wondering about the look in his. "Is something wrong?"

Shaking his head, he moved forward, peeking automatically over the edge when he came closer. "It's nothing… so, what were you doing before I startled you?"

The grin on her face widened and he congratulated himself on sidetracking her. "It's so hot out here… I was thinking of going for a swim. Wanna join me?"

"Ano…" Fighting the return of embarrassment at the thought, Kenshin looked back to the waterfall. "I just took a shower."

"Oh." Kaoru worried her lip, knowing that meant no. _I guess I could still go by myself, but… I haven't seen Kenshin in so long._ Looking between the crisp water cascading over the rocks to the redheaded man staring out over the scenery, she frowned at the beads of sweat making themselves known as they slid down her back. Grumbling at the feel, she blocked them out with the much more prominent pounding of excitement her heart was thundering in her chest. Nodding her head decisively, she shrugged her shoulders. "Ok, a shower will be just as good, I guess."

Shooting her a quick look, he worried about affecting her decisions so easily, without even trying. "You shouldn't have to change what you were going to do just because of me." Huffing out a breath, he grinned. "Besides, it doesn't sound like a bad idea. I would gladly join you if I hadn't already taken a shower before coming up here."

Biting her lip, she creased her brow in thought, his words seeming to enhance the speed and amount of sweat dripping off her body. _Oh, it does sound like a wonderful idea. Just a few minutes… that's not long. Then I'll spend the rest of the day with Kenshin._ "Ok." Without thought, she immediately stripped off her gi, carelessly throwing its sweat dampened weight on top of her shoes. Underneath she wore a sports bra, a piece of clothing that was actually more covering than a real swimsuit, so she spared no consideration to her appearance before Kenshin. He had seen her in a swimsuit before.

Eyes wide, Kenshin blinked at the sudden revelation of skin, wondering slightly in the back of his mind at the figure his little one had acquired in the time he had been gone. Squeaking in fright when her hands moved to the tie of her hakama, he quickly gave her his back, squeezing his eyes shut in a desperate attempt to block out his last image of her. A soft slither of sound announced her full disrobing, and before he could react she was jumping up next to him and planting a hurried kiss on his cheek.

"I won't be long, Kenshin."

Running by him to the ledge, her intentions were clear. "Wait! Wouldn't you rather…" But she was already jumping over the edge, her squeal of delight echoing off the walls, followed closely by her body hitting the water.

_Kami-sama… _Blushing pink, he frowned, lifting a hand to his cheek where he could still feel her soft lips. A small flutter made itself known in his chest, a warmth that was somehow different than the normal peace he found when near her. Confused, he looked for something to distract himself, focusing on the long sword she had been practicing with.

Kneeling down next to her clothing, he reached out carefully to pick up the katana. Hefting it fully into his grasp he unsheathed the blade slowly and examined the folds in the steel. After only a couple minutes of handling, Kenshin knew it was made by a master craftsman; the balance perfect, the blade sharp, the steel flawless. An ideal weapon for killing. Breath catching in his throat in trepidation, he hurriedly, almost clumsily sheathed the sword, placing it back on its perch and backing away, wiping his hands on the coarse texture of his jeans. _There was no blood. There was no stain. Nothing to worry about. _Trying desperately to even his breathing, he rubbed his hands over his face, successfully distracted from his odd reaction to her. _She has never used it. She never will. I will make sure of that. This time… I'm staying for good. I will protect her._

Slightly shaken, he eyed the pile of clothing, the tabi and sandals lying next to them with the jug empty and discarded to the side. A light giggle followed soft splashing from the pool below and he took a steadying breath. She had not brought a towel along. That was just like her.

x

Kaoru resurfaced behind the waterfall, the wall of rushing liquid in front of her deafening her ears and contorting her vision. It was a wonderful seclusion from the world, giving her a feeling of forbidden solitude; the knowledge that no matter what she did or thought, no one would know. Giggling, she swiped at her bangs to free them of her lashes before lifting her fingers to run them through the cascade of white-blue, enjoying the forceful push as it fought against her muscles. Restless, she sucked in a deep breath and dove back into the cool, crisp mountain run-off. It was a welcome chill next to the hot July sun.

However, she was beginning to shiver. Too much longer and she wouldn't be able to hear anything over the chatter of her jaw. Cutting through the soft waves like a fish, she headed to the only ridge low enough to easily pull oneself up at, a point close to the cliff at the far side of the pool. Fighting the heavy weight of the water that wanted to keep her wrapped in its embrace, she lifted herself up onto the flat rock and sighed. Dripping water in a steady plop-plop rhythm, she slid her hair over one shoulder and proceeded to wring out the thick mass. As the puffing wind from the fall reached her it evaporated the water still clinging to her every limb, making her shivering increase. _And you were impatient and left every bit of clothing you brought along at the top of the cliff. _Laughing at herself, she shrugged her shoulders. _At least I'm cooled down, though._

Resigned already to the climb before her, barefooted and scantily dressed, she stood and carefully navigated the uneven terrain around the pool, heading for the trail that would lead her back to her training spot. Stepping up to the line of trees, she absentmindedly threw a glance at a large flat rock to her right, remembering a time when she used to watch her Kenshin meditate there for hours. Already smiling at the memory, her childish heart infatuated with his every move, she froze when she found her clothing lying exactly where he used to sit. Smile widening, she stepped to the pile, noticing a white towel lying on top. _Baka. That's just like you._

"Kenshin!"

Hastily picking up the towel, she cradled it to her chest as she looked around the clearing, hunting for a telltale sign of his presence. Searching futilely, she snapped open the towel as she continued to crane her neck, rubbing negligently at her wet body. _I guess he decided to wait at the house. _Only slightly disappointed, she shrugged and bent back over to pick up her gi, neatly folded on top of her tank top, hakama and tabi. Guiding her arms through the sleeves, she carelessly left it hanging open as she jammed her toes into her sandals and scooped up the rest of her belongings. Taking off in a mad dash, glee speeding her actions, she had to stop and run back twice as she kept dropping her socks. _Kenshin's home. Kenshin's home. Kenshin's home._ Singing happily in the back of her mind, she cared little for what she looked like.

Bursting through the back door into the kitchen, Kaoru kicked off her sandals and darted her eyes around, passing over the raised eyebrow of her father without a second glance.

"Tousan, where's Kenshin?" Not finding him to be in the immediate area, she calmed down enough to stop and look to him eagerly, her arms barely keeping all of her clothing plus the towel balanced against her chest.

Dark, probing eyes stared into her own brightly lit ones, his mind somehow unable to comprehend the question. What did she mean, where was he? He had felt the boy's ki following her own back to the house. Bending back to the meal he was making to buy time, allowing his broad shoulders to shield his features, Hiko focused intently on the tightly schooled ki of his apprentice. Blinking at the tangle of emotions, he bit back a laugh, but took pity on him.

"You did not see him, little dragon? He went to find you."

"Yeah, but I took a swim in the pool after training. I thought he came back to the house to wait."

Throwing a glance over his shoulder, Hiko chuckled in amusement. "Maybe he decided to go into town since you seemed to be occupied elsewhere. There are things he no doubt needs to buy since he is going to be home to stay this time."

His words had the desired effect he had hoped for. Instead of disappointment at Kenshin's absence, an unbalanced bubble of joy welled up her chest, made known through her careless dropping of her bundle on the side table and her excited hopping as she squealed with glee.

"Kenshin's home to stay?" Jumping forward, she wrapped her arms around Hiko's torso and bounced up and down. "Tell me you're not lying, Tousan! Does Misao know?" Every inch of her personage was saturated in a fathomless well of happiness, anticipation rising higher at the thought that she might get to surprise her best friend and share in the delight.

"No, I'm not lying, little dragon, and yes Misao-san knows. She called to talk to you earlier while you were out." The somber way in which he spoke this broke through her merriment long enough to produce a frown on her face.

"What's wrong, Tousan? Shinomori-san's ok isn't he?"

"I'm sure he is fine." Smiling to bring back her own, he pushed her to the door. "Don't worry about that now. Why don't you use this time to take a shower before that idiot gets back. Supper should be ready by then." She agreed readily, gathering up her things before skipping off down the hall in a ball of warm contentment.

Hiko made sure he could hear the shower running before he left the kitchen to exit into the backyard. Wiping his hands off on the towel he carried with him, his eyes found the boy within seconds, his form perched in the branches of a sturdy old pine tree. As he came closer, the red-head jumped down, but he was careful to keep his back to his master.

"The girl is missing you."

"I know."

Tilting his head, he looked down at his fingers while he meticulously cleaned off a smear of rice batter. "Seems you couldn't wait to see her earlier."

"I know." His voice lowered softly.

One corner of Hiko's mouth jerked upward. "She's grown… hasn't she?"

Kenshin's head fell forward.

"Did you expect her to be a child forever?" Voice hardening, he pushed at his apprentice's anger to get him to respond.

Hair twitching as he shot a look over his shoulder, Kenshin denied his statement, the tone that rose from his throat speaking of a desperate need to believe his own words. "She still is a child."

Hiko snorted, turning his own back to the boy as he returned to the kitchen. "Seems to me she stopped being a child years ago, you idiot."

Kenshin's head shook slowly, and as his master's form disappeared back into the house he made his way back down the mountain.

He knew Kaoru was going to be angry with him, but… certain things were starting to eat at him. Now, knowing that she _was_ more than just a child, her life was going to speed forward into this new era of peace. And as the woman she was, she would not live that life alone; but more terrifying than that, she would not be living it with him.

Watching her earlier, as she trained then later as she swam, Kenshin had come to this realization. Kaoru was not the kind of person that would let life lead her. She took life by the hilt and turned it to her own advantage, just like she did her katana. She would not wait around for him much longer, and he knew, in a part of his mind, that the only reason she had waited this long was because she _had _been a child. There had been no other choice given to her. Soon, though, all too soon, she would be able to do as she pleased, do what she wanted, without having to wait for anything or anybody. When that time came, she would be the one visiting him and he would be waiting for her.

Inside of that, the details of her life would consist of many things he was beginning to finally see. Things that he was not feeling too comfortable with. Kaoru loved nurturing, loved helping with anything that she could. With that kind of a nature, she would undoubtedly want family, and family meant… that meant…

Frown deepening on his face, Kenshin stopped by a large tree, his weight bracing on it as he dug his nails into the bark. Family meant another man in her life, and another man in her life meant no more time for him. Selfishly as that thought formed, Kenshin was more overwhelmed by anger than contriteness. Kaoru was _his_. For more than ten years now she had belonged to him and he had possessively kept her close to his heart. It hurt, it enraged him, to even think of her belonging to someone else. She couldn't. It was impossible. Like the sun setting in the east, the thought of her giving that peace and warmth to another besides himself was unthinkable. Unallowable.

_She has always been mine. I will fall apart if she is taken away. Whether by force or her own will._

A hot tear quivered at the corner of his eye, and caught in such a swell of emotion, his next breath was strained and shaky. _What do I do now? I can't let her go._

x

Hiko was sitting casually by the kiln when Kenshin returned, his footsteps cautious as he approached, strengthening when his large mass slid over to provide room for him to sit. With the sun now set and the stars lighting the sky, the kiln's fire was not such a harsh burden, a perfect time to fire the small piece Hiko had been working on earlier that day.

"Kaoru?"

"Asleep."

Kenshin nodded his head and continued to scrutinize the red coals in the fire, the pop and hiss as a log of wood split from the intense heat filling the silence that stretched between them.

"She was upset. She thinks you are avoiding her."

Red hair covered a tight jaw.

"But that is a ridiculous idea."

Long fingers curled and uncurled in agitation.

"Care to share a drink?" Kenshin looked up in surprise at the question, blinking at the saucer held so unceremoniously out to him in offering. Unable to think of a reason not to, he cradled the china in his hand. "Good. We have not drank together yet. I think it is time." Tilting the jug of sake to pour out both of their share, he corked the bottle and sat it at his feet.

Staring uncertainly into the clear liquid, Kenshin tipped the cup from side to side, thinking of a time when he was younger. Master Hiko had once told him that the taste of sake would reflect the state of one's soul. Every other time the alcohol had ever passed his lips it had been drenched in the metallic taste of blood. Because of this, it had been years since he had last tried the drink. Tonight, though… he wondered if it would be any different.

"Well? Tonight is a good night to drink. There is no moon, but the stars are bright. That should be enough to make any drink taste good."

Smiling softly, Kenshin thought of how Kaoru's happy voice had echoed out of the kitchen. Tonight was a good night to drink. Taking a long sip, he closed his eyes and sighed at the sweet taste that swam around his tongue.

"Tell me, baka deshi, what does your drink taste of?"

Content enough to let the nickname slide, Kenshin lifted his eyes to the stars, his voice full of a quiet awe. "Jasmine… and moonlight."

Hiko smirked and leaned closer as if to share a secret. "You know what mine tastes like?"

Lifting a brow, Kenshin returned the look. "What?"

"Rice."

Laughter burst from them both, Hiko's large hand pounding Kenshin's smaller frame in the back companionably. Shaking his head as they settled down to amused chuckles, Kenshin held out his saucer for more.

"I was curious about the katana, shishou."

"A beautiful weapon, is it not?" When Kenshin took a quiet sip of his drink Hiko grunted. "You don't think she should have it." The silence stretched. "You never did believe she could handle one."

"I never believed she would have to."

"Would you really wish her to be dependant of us for the rest of her life? That would go against her spirit. You can break a person by doing that."

"Teaching her is one thing. Giving her a deadly weapon is another."

"Deadly to whom? Do you truly believe she would ever use her knowledge to kill someone?"

"No."

"Then what are you worried about? That weapon is just that… a weapon. It cannot do anything until it is picked up and used. The wielder decides how, not the weapon."

Kenshin dropped his head and stared at the hands cradling the small saucer. Out of all of his meditation and thinking, he had never truly thought of it in such a way.

"The girl figured this out long before you did, baka. Why do you think she brought you such a silly looking sword four years ago?"

Kenshin grunted, accepting more sake when his master offered. "She does seem to learn everything so quickly."

Deep laughter filled the air. "That's because she grew up watching you for most of her life." Violet eyes filled with wonder at the thought. "And because she actually listens to me." Wonder turned sardonic.

"Where did you get it?"

"I bought it off a man at a discounted price."

Choking on his drink, Kenshin shot Hiko a scandalized look. Smirking, he took a sip of his own. "He said he'd been saving it, for a certain blue-eyed samurai girl who looked after one who could not enjoy his afternoons. Of course, he only hoped he would not offend her by gifting a regular katana and not one with no blade." Huffing out a breath, Hiko leaned forward to throw another log on the fire. "That little dragon leaves a lasting impression on everyone she meets."

"She certainly does." Grinning softly, Kenshin braced his elbows on his knees and let the tranquil night press in around him.

An hour passed, then two, their conversations afterwards sparse and unnecessary, the center of their attention focused mainly on the girl sleeping soundly in the house behind them. With each knew memory shared, Kenshin's mind calmed and his heart glowed with warmth again. The sensation of her ki resonating like a pulse against his back a comforting feeling. Worries slipping to the back of his mind, he wanted nothing more than to bask in her gleeful delight once again. Like she always showered on him when he came home.

Deciding that it was time to find his own land of dreams, Kenshin handed the saucer back to his master and thanked him for sharing the time with him. Hiko became gruff once more at his announcement, and Kenshin smiled as he stood to leave. Unfortunately the ground titled abruptly under his feet and he rocked harshly to the side, a strong hand locking around his elbow helping him to regain his balance.

"How much did you drink, idiot?"

"As much as you gave me." Shaking his head to clear away the buzzing in his ears, clenching his eyes shut and blinking them rapidly open to stop the swirling of shadows in front of his face, he placed a hand unsteadily on his master's arm.

Laughing, Hiko released him at his urging. "Are you sure you're capable of walking?"

"Hai, hai." Waving a hand in the air, he stumbled slightly only a few steps away, clenching his jaw when laughter followed him to the door. Bracing himself against the wall as he finally crossed the threshold into the kitchen, he walked his way slowly down the hall. Stopping himself in front of a familiar shoji, he slid it gently open then closed before dropping contentedly next to her sleeping figure.

x

Kaoru woke to the sound of even breathing. It was soft, but close, and she strived to disentangle the rhythm of her own breath to assure herself that she wasn't imagining things. Blinking open tired eyes, she gazed apathetically at the figure lying on the futon with her, vaguely taking in the details of his red hair and relaxed features. Sucking in a long breath through her nose, she lazily blinked again before a smile spread leisurely on her lips. _Kenshin._ Mouthing the word, she slid one heavy hand upwards along the mattress to brush against his chin, the caress too light to be called a touch.

Yawning, she brought the hand back to rub over her eye, working to wake herself up. A syren call of sleep drifted thickly over her lashes, forcing them to glide downwards and tempting her to fall back into a luxurious dreamland of silk and sugar. Clenching her eyes shut to counteract the feeling, she wrinkled her nose and stretched her legs, spreading out her toes to wake up indolent muscles.

Sighing as her mind floated closer to wakefulness, she batted her lashes another time, waiting for her pupils to adjust to the faint starlight illuminating the room through her one window. As shapes and shadows distinguished themselves to her eyes, her soft smile broadened, her teeth sucking in her bottom lip as she fought a light chuckle. In one dreamy glance she found her Kenshin to be sleeping soundly, his long hair limp across his forehead and cheek, curling nonchalantly around his neck to pool by his collarbone. His brow was smooth without a trace of its usual contemplative furrow, the muscles around his eyes untroubled in the absence of his constant narrowing, and his mouth was slightly opened, thin lips drying with each inhalation.

Shifting her weight to bring both hands to ball under her chin, she glanced down in surprise when she felt something tighten on her ribcage. Lifting her arm up into the air, she found a strong hand resting on her side, the limp weight of it having already deadened the nerves under her skin. Now, however, its fingers stretched out and curved to keep her movements to a minimum, apparently unwilling to let her escape too far without his knowledge. The notion adding to her contentment instead of taking away, she wiggled minutely just to feel them twitch.

Coercing herself into keeping still, if only to make sure she did not wake him, Kaoru returned to her scrutiny of his face. The man before her was different than she remembered, his facial structure basically the same, yet certain details spoke of his own growth and age. He still held a strong jaw, but the bone configuration was much more pronounced, like the sharpness of his nose. There were small wrinkles around his eyes, next to the dark circles that spoke of his fatigue, and his hair was even thicker and more unruly. But perhaps that had a lot to do with him wearing it lower like she had suggested. There seemed to be a few grays interspersed with the red and gold as well now, shining white in the faded light.

Dipping sapphire irises to his chest she ran her gaze down the arm connecting them, curiously inspecting a long scar on his bare bicep. Lip pouting at the pain it was sure to have caused, she unconsciously let one finger trace over the smoothed skin, her nail a faint scrap of sound. Another one caught her attention in the groove of his shoulder and chest, her fingers switching swiftly to it, her brows curling inward to pronounce her sympathy further. Still another ran upward out from underneath the material of the muscle shirt he wore, the loose fit giving a respectable view of his chest and the pectoral that retained the old score mark. There was even a tiny nick on the underside of his chin that she had never noticed before.

With each knew form of mutilation found her sensitive compassion intensified, a deep instinct to protect willing her to help heal and hoping she would never see any more gather on his lean body. The emotion swelling up in her chest fiercely she followed its burning urge without thought, brushing her lips over the next aged wound instead of her fingers.

The contact soothed part of its fiery nature, tears welling up her throat and behind her eyes in a blessed relief she did not understand. Striving to hold onto this new feeling, she moved her lips to another, his chin a distracting graze over the crown of her head. Touch strengthening from a light caress when warmth surged through her veins, her hand ran lingering over his shoulder and down his back as she braced herself up to kiss a particularly jagged looking scar close to his neck. Nestling her chin lovingly into the slope of his skin, the action dislodged crimson bangs from his face, revealing the deep, cross-shaped cut on his left cheek.

The raw redness of its color made her lip tremble, the fact that it still looked so angry and fresh in comparison to all the others hurting her heart. Why? It should have healed all the faster because… because… Breath heating her own cheeks as she bent closer, the air caught in the cocoon of her hair and ricocheting around the small enclosure, she tenderly placed her parted lips over the intersection. Heavy lidded eyes blinking open after a second, she noticed after a brief comparison that the line ending by his temple was longer; deeper; wider than the other, and she knew that… Eyebrows now quivering with the force of her distress, she was startled when one petite teardrop plopped onto his face, trailing ever so slowly down the crease the scar created. Anxious to remove any trace of her sorrow, she caught the bead of moisture on her tongue, pausing as warm air ghosted over her ear and slithered like liquid down her spine.

_Kenshin._

Fingers reaching to twine intimately through his hair, she smiled tremulously down at his sleeping figure. _I will protect you Kenshin. I will make sure this heals, soon._ Sealing her promise with a show of her shaky emotion, she hesitantly settled her mouth near the corner of his, cradling the sensitive flesh of his lower lip between both of her own. Attention so distracted, her pulse spiked dangerously when firm fingers curled around the base of her neck, his hand tilting her head and planting her lips more firmly over his.

Dark lashes flapped like the wings of a rising butterfly, her whole body frozen in surprise at his actions, and a faint rumble vibrated his throat at her lack of response. Grip tightening on her neck, his other arm wrapped carefully around her torso, pressing softly against her spin to bring her to a more comfortable position. Bracing her weight on her elbow and her newly freed hand on the futon behind him, she trembled when a moist tongue skated gently across her bottom lip, and her eyelids fluttered closed in reaction. Nervous, yet unfortunate prey to this new yearning, she returned his caress with a fleeting dart of her own tongue, a heartfelt shiver brushing along every nerve ending when he deepened the kiss in his approval.

For an eternity of bliss and euphoria he courted her mouth, teaching her to respond; nibbling along her lower lip, exploring every contour with a skillful tongue. Wonderfully dazed in the blanket of heat he surrounded her with, she gradually relaxed into the pace he set, blindly allowing her instincts to guide her. Lethargy seeping into her core, her body settled lightly against him, the contours of her form molding with his own and raising the feeling of restlessness in her blood.

Fully encircled by his warmth and smell, the slight tang of alcohol on his breath, she shifted, her hand running wonderingly down his back. Snuggling closer, her hair slipping over her shoulder to curtain over them, she gasped in surprise when he rolled to his back. Knees going to either side of his hips instinctively, she braced up on both hands, her palms flat beside his head. Mouth opening to question him, her words turned to a breathless sound of pleasure when he lifted up to nuzzle her throat.

Strong fingers stroked up either side of her torso, the material of her shirt catching in the slide and inching upwards with his direction. Shaky teeth catching her lip, she trembled, unsure of what to do, of what was happening. "Kenshin?" Muscles contracting, he gripped her ribcage, his arms circling her to bring her closer, the bridge of his nose curved into her neck.

She settled against him nervously, her breathing becoming increasingly labored, her heart a painful pounding of pleasure in her chest. _What's happening? The air is so tense, like that one moment before a duel. I can almost… feel his yearning and desperation. Like he does not wish to let go._ Trembling with uncertainty, she followed the path of his palm with her mind as it slid down the curve of her back, jumping when skin came into sudden contact with skin. There was a moment of stillness, awareness of her anxiety, then the tips of his fingers brushed the waist of her shorts, tickling a sensitive nerve ending. Sucking in a sharp breath, she tried to focus her mind against the scattering of her thoughts, her body jerking slightly as if to pull away.

Forced to take another direction, Kaoru's eyes snapped open when his mouth skated to hers once again, his lips successfully distracting her. Caught in the gentle sway and moist caress, she was blind to the glide of his hand up her bare back, his fingers curling around the naked expanse of skin. When the need for air became apparent, his lips fell from hers, passion dark eyes lazily lifting to the shadowed interior of her shirt collar, the bunched material giving access and view to the skin underneath. Mind fuzzed and unclear, he brought his fingers up from the inside of her shirt to tug at the neckline for better access, wanting softer skin to snuggle his lips against.

Muted sounds were escaping her, small quivers up her spine, the heat permeating her skin; all surrounded him, cocooning his awareness to that of just her and him. Guiding her gently with one palm flat between her shoulder blades, he shifted the other to her chest, another jump of surprise wrenching out of her body. Unconsciously cooing in soft reassurance, he transferred his attention to her clavicle, nibbling lightly across its hard edge with short nips and quick licks of his tongue. It missed his observation that it was slightly more defined than it should be, but as his lips skidded over a rough spot in the bone, an unnatural smoothness in a straight pattern crossways on her skin, he drew back, fuzzy mind curious.

A thin scar met his blinking gaze, the blemish out of place on her flawless body. Fingers lifting to trace it unconsciously, his breath caught as a voice cried out in his mind. _"Daijoubu. Daijoubu! Dame, onegai… onegai…"_ It was tearful, pleading and a vision of frightened eyes staring up at him accompanied the thought. Jerking back to himself, he vaguely felt long fingers, roughened with calluses, tremble over his cheek, the touch questioning.

Surprised and halfway fearful of what was happening, of what he had done, Kenshin struggled backwards, his awkward movements and desperate scuffling causing Kaoru to react apprehensively. Separated, he watched her pull back, blue eyes wide, her fingers working to readjust her shirt from its harried position.

Horrified at what he had been doing, Kenshin stuttered. "K-kaoru… I…" Crab-walking, he stopped only when his head knocked against her dresser, tormented eyes staring at the still visible scar that spread across her left collarbone, the lapel of her shirt too large for her slender frame. "I…" Noticing the direction of his gaze, slender fingers reached up absently to run along its length, her brows curling in confusion. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…" Truly frantic he moved to stand, her half shrunken form hurting his heart, her head bowed as if she were awaiting rebuke. "I didn't mean to…" Swallowing, his mind clearing away the buzz of alcohol, he saw the situation with dangerous clarity. "T-this is so wrong…" Leaning back into the dresser behind him, he held a hand to his head as if to brace it up, his voice softening as he spoke to himself. "You're only a child for Kami's sake."

Trembling hands lifting the material of her shirt to cover the scar, Kaoru froze at his words. "A child? A child, am I?" Steel blue eyes lifted to pierce the shadows of her bangs, and he automatically jerked his head back at the fierce rage that seeped from her being. "Is that all I will ever be to you?" Steadily standing to her feet, her arms dropped deliberately to her sides. "A child? Something fragile and small? Something easily manipulated? Easily tossed aside?" Advancing on him, she half-lifted a clenched fist in a threat she wasn't even aware she made. "And as that child do I mean nothing? Do my feelings mean nothing? Tell me, dammit, do I look like a child to you?" Throwing out her arms for emphasis, she waited in an open gesture to look. Violet eyes fell for the temptation, then quickly clenched shut, his head falling forward. Wholly desperate, she let the tears building in her throat quiver in her next words. "Did I feel like a child to you?"

"Kaoru… you shouldn't have let me touch you at all."

"How could you have ever expected me to deny you?" Their argument quieting to fervent whispers, he lifted his head finally to look her in the eye, his irises full of sorrow and regret. "Not now."

"This isn't something you should _have _to do for anybody." Forceful words came out with less bite than he had wished, frantic emotions urging him to reason with her. To make her see.

Dry laughter heaved at her lungs and she shook her head, her arms crossing over her chest. "Don't you get it? I wanted you to touch me. It's all I have ever wanted." Watching astonishment pass over his features, she unwaveringly held his gaze, needing to see his reaction; needing to know. "For you to love me back."

Kenshin felt his head shake in denial, shock directing his actions, fear driving his thoughts. She didn't know what she was talking about. She couldn't love him. She was just confused. She was just a child. "No…" He watched her face crumple, tears welling and spilling over dark lashes, her lips trembling against her increasingly labored breath. Turning her face into her shoulder, she shielded herself from his view, using her hair as a barrier to hide behind. "Kaoru…" Taking a step forward, he jerked back fearfully when she did the same.

"Just… just get out." A shaky hand lifted to wipe at her cheeks, and she gave him her back.

"Kaoru…" Anxious now in a different way, afraid of where this argument had taken them, he laid a tentative hand on her shoulder, not wanting the light and warmth that she gave to him to disappear forever.

"I said leave!" Slapping at his hand, she let him glimpse the soulful depth of her eyes, and for a moment he was lost. Lost inside a swirl of anger, despair, pain, and longing. "Just leave. Leave like you always do."

"Kaoru… I… I can't." _I have nowhere else to go… I need you._

"Can't you? I'm just a child remember?" Backing away from him, her hip rocked into the desk behind her, distracting her attention from his eyes momentarily. A thick, leather binder lay innocently on its top, and in a fit of rage and disgust she yanked it up and shoved it into his chest. "Here. Take this, if it's only the child you want." Spitting the words into his face, she pushed him backwards out of her room, the shoji slamming shut with a snap between them.

"Kaoru…" Feeling small and helpless, he pressed a hand to the door, noticing in a surprised indifference that his fingers were shaking, almost uncontrollably.

"You need to leave now, boy." Kenshin looked up, the vulnerable width of his eyes locking onto the dark depths of his master's. The anger that sparkled in his irises was almost palpable, yet Kenshin couldn't find it in himself to feel fear, because a numb part of him knew that losing her was much more frightening.

"No." Shaking his head in a denial not unlike his answer to her, he returned his attention to the door blocking him from warm memories and the sunlight of something too fragile to name. "Kaoru…"

"Is broken now. Can't you feel it?" His voice was a hiss of contemptuous rage, and one large hand snapped out to wrap firmly in the material of his shirt, lifting him from his feet. If possible, violet eyes widened even further but he automatically searched for the familiar tangle of her ki. Finding her curled in on herself, her normally bright energy was soaked in hopelessness and sorrow, her strong willpower dying under the loss of a dream. "I have watched her suffer needlessly for many years now because you cannot see what is right in front of your face. I will not tolerate it a moment longer." Carrying him like a rag doll to the door, Hiko jerked it open and tossed him out into the yard, blocking the doorway with his bulk and an intolerable expression.

Completely dazed, one arm still frantically protecting the binder in his possession, he stood to his feet like it had never happened. "Please, Kaoru needs me…" A disjointed memory stood out brightly behind his mind's eye, of her tentative suggestion that she should carry his name, since she did belong to him. Tears had collected at the corners of her eyes then, beading heavily out onto her thick lashes, and her voice had been fragile in the wake of his denial. _"You don't want me anymore?"_

"_Iie… you are the only joy I have in my life, little one."_

"You can't take her away from me." Kenshin felt his body twist precariously almost before her felt the sting of Master Hiko backhanding him in the jaw. Landing with his nose in the soft grass, a sudden gust of wind feathering them across his forehead, he groaned as his head spun with the force of the blow.

"Nobody took her away from you. You did this to yourself." Muffled footsteps marched away, back into the house, but Kenshin couldn't get his limbs to cooperate with him long enough to take advantage of the man's absence. Eyes crossing and his stomach churning, he swallowed weakly against the flood of liquid that wished to upend from his mouth. Coughing as something tickled his throat, he watched in a detached sort of fascination as blood splattered the dirt beneath him. Just as tremulous muscles began the arduous task of lifting him to a sitting position, a loud thump vibrated in his ears, a large duffle bag he recognized as his own appearing before him.

"You are no longer welcome here, baka deshi. And I don't want to see you near my little girl again until you can straighten out that mess of a brain you possess."

x

Kaoru wiped fruitlessly at her eyes when a soft knock sounded on her door, her pulse increasing erratically in a small flare of hope, and she actually felt disappointment when it was her father's voice that floated through the barrier instead. Tears increasing in number on her cheeks, she shook her head in answer to his question. "No, Tousan… just… leave me alone." Listening to his footsteps recede, she buried her face back into her pillow.

_God you're so stupid, Kaoru… so __**stupid**__… What did you think was going to happen? Did you truly think that he would really follow you down that path? That he could actually see you in such a way? He was drunk! You could smell it on his breath… you knew he was when… he… _A low sob escaped her throat and her pain was accompanied by frustration. The way he had touched her, gentle as it was; the grip of his arms around her; the longing to keep her there that she had felt from him; the caress of his lips, all of it had spoken of only one goal, one conclusion. _And what does that mean? Nothing. Only that he was incoherent enough to think… to think…_ Curling around her pillow, she sobbed uncontrollably into its cushion, her lungs heaving and her ribs hurting from the contraction of her muscles. _…that you were someone else. That those feelings of desperation and need, the soft cooing of affection, were not meant for you._ Bawling hard enough that she couldn't breathe, her manic thoughts kept her locked in a vortex of depression.

It had never occurred to her that her Kenshin would ever be with anybody else, that his own urges might lead him into the arms of another woman. Simply because as a child, her mind had not been able to comprehend the notion. She had known, that since he was older, that it was possible there were other people in his life, but… never in her wildest dreams had she ever imagined it being so intimate. Even after her education had introduced her to the properties of sex, she had never been a part of such a thing, and so, she could not see nor understand what if fully meant to be in the act. She did not realize that there were such passionate details in between.

Now… now she knew what true jealousy felt like. To be truly envious of what he could do, had proven he did, and what he had no doubt done with others. It hurt that he could be so… loving and passionate; playful and tender; eager and domineering towards a woman that he had seduced in a drunken stupor. Shouldn't that be something a little bit more… private? Special? Meaningful? Shouldn't it have only been with someone he cared for… loved? For someone who loved him as well? _I always thought it would just be me. How more naïve can my thinking show itself to be? _Wiping slowly at her face, she took a shaky breath to calm herself down.

_You were wrong, Katsura-sama. Kenshin does not see me as a woman he can love. He sees me as nothing more than the child he has always taken care of. As nothing more than a doll he can baby. Nothing will happen if I am patient. I have been patient these past seven years since you first gave me such hope and nothing has come of it. I almost wish you would have said nothing. Or better yet if you would have told me the truth. That a child cannot become a woman in the eyes of one who has seen her as nothing but a child._

Curling tighter into a ball, her pillow pressed securely into her chest, a faintly masculine smell filled her nostrils, and her traitorous mind sifted back through her memories, reminding her of how it felt when it was his body she was so strongly held against. With his arms wrapped snuggly around her and his warmth drugging her mind into complacency, she felt safe; comfortable; cherished. _Now I will never feel that again._ Lips twisting as the knowledge struck her, the numbness within her broke and she cried anew.

A few, short minutes later the low rumble of thunder from a coming storm rolled over her, causing her to whimper automatically. Shaky hands finding the cast off sheet of her futon, she pulled it over her head and childishly tried to hide herself from its wrath. _Oh please, not now. _Alone she could not comfort herself with the knowledge that Kenshin would be there to protect her, or that even her Tousan would be able to. Tonight… she would have to face her own demons in her new state of solitude. Not as the child Kenshin thought her to be, or as the little dragon her father fancied her, but as a woman newly born into the harsh reality of human existence.

Another roll of sound seemed to dance over the roof, its low undertone splitting apart and gliding under the floorboards. Unconsciously pressing herself flat into her futon, the masculine scent left behind from Kenshin's presence lodged into her nose, mercilessly demanding her attention. Jaw shaking and mind distracted, the gentle grumble of thunder that vibrated the floor trembled up her body and sounded not unlike Kenshin's laughter when her ear sat just over his lungs. Eyebrows curling together, her fingers fisted into the material of her bedding, an unwitting wish to bring it closer apparent. Realizing what she was doing, she shook her head sharply. _I was going to do this alone, remember?_

But… with each new sound, she could hear Kenshin in it. Each growl like his own; from his laughter to his anger down to his desire when his lips hovered next to hers. Strangely it comforted her more than it tormented, a half-fantastical notion of his origin coming from the very sky; from the very thing she had always feared most. Maybe that was why she had always felt safe when he was near her during those storms. Now it seemed almost foolish that she could still feel that trepidation.

The storm was closer when Kaoru rolled to her back, the sheet sliding free of her face. With eyes closed and breathing deep and even, her lips twitched into a smile when a loud crack shook the house, an image of two swords slamming together and sparks flying free ringing through her mind. Like the noises of their training by the waterfall, the strength of their blows matching and clashing like lightning.

_It's like a swordfight in the heavens, and in every duel there is a weakness that can be exploited. Only that weakness is to be feared. Only one and no other. It was explained to me before._ Remembering the soft words of her father, his wish to comfort her during that storm so many years ago, she let out a shaky breath. _All things have a weakness, he said. Only one. And when that weakness is found you need not fear it. Tousan was not speaking of the thunder I fear, of __**its**__ weakness, but __**my**__ own. _Chest clinching with excitement and insight, Kaoru smiled. _I need only to find my own. That's what he wanted me to know. Then those trivial fears, like my anxiety over lightning, are nothing. I will truly have nothing to fear._

Another clash rumbled the air above, and Kaoru smiled. _Arigato, shishou, you have taught me, and I will learn. Tomorrow… I will apologize for my blunder and I can only hope that you will forgive me._

x

Kenshin stared at the steady run of water that streamed through his hair, the scalding feel of the hot liquid burning his skin. But he would not feel clean until his nerves were numb and his flesh was raw. Lips twisting in disgust, his skin crawled. For a moment, when his mind had been unable to take much more, he had almost lost control and lashed out in his rage. Though, to be fair, it wasn't all the woman's fault. He had indulged the notion in the first place. Hands fisting against the tile of the shower, an almost inaudible growl escaped his throat. He had wanted to do so much more than just throw the woman to the ground and scare her for life.

It had started in a bar, where and when he didn't know anymore. After that past week he had visited more places that served an escape from the world than he could rightly count. This time, though, he had apparently attracted attention. Unwanted attention to be sure. However… the more the woman persisted, the more his mind worked out the logistics of his slip in control around Kaoru, his little one. His only joy. Why would that happen? Why could he not seem to control himself? And as bright blue fingernails brushed teasingly over his shoulder, her almost black eyes begging for his regard, an idea had come to mind.

When was the last time he had been with a woman? It wasn't something he had ever really lingered over, and during those last seven years he had been too busy with tracking down Shishio and seeing Kaoru on his off time, that he hadn't seen the need in it. He never particularly wanted to, so he never sought it out. That meant… it had been close to seven or maybe even eight years since a woman had touched him. An easy enough conclusion. His body was starved for some kind of attention, and it had automatically latched onto Kaoru. Yes, that made sense.

So that meant if he took this particular number out of the equation, he would not have to worry about it. He could return back home, and he would apologize to Kaoru and to Hiko-sama. He would explain to her that she was simply growing, her own body developing urges, and in a similar fashion, she had locked onto him. Reason seen, they could once again get on with their lives.

Unfortunately, as drunk as he had allowed himself to become, he still could not seem to overcome the nausea that rolled in his stomach each time the woman touched him. The more he drank, the racier her handling became, and the more his anger developed. Desperately he had tried to shove her away from him, fearing what he would do if his anger built much more, but she was just as drunk as he by that time. Finally, golden eyes alight with revulsion, he had grabbed her arm and thrown her to the floor of the alley, his voice dangerous as he quietly told her never to touch him again. Angrily she had cursed at him, calling him names and gesturing rudely, but he had walked quickly away, afraid that his frustration would bring about further reckless actions. Now, his irritation still simmering below the surface, he stood in the hotel shower and tried to wash away the feel of her too smooth hands and lipstick stained mouth.

She had been nothing like Kaoru.

Tossing the thought away harshly, he turned off the water and stepped from the shower.

Rubbing a towel roughly over his raw skin, he threw on a set of clothes and carelessly tied back his hair. In the other room a small bed sat between two windows, the door leading out on the far wall. Next to the bed a small side table stood, a phone and an alarm clock on its surface. On the bed itself, laying on top of crisp sheets and untouched blankets, was the leather binder his Kaoru had forced on him, its pages open. Walking slowly forward, violet eyes stared sadly down at a pair of sapphire ones as they glanced laughingly back.

From front to back the album was full of pictures of Kaoru. Some of them with Misao, some with Hiko… and more rarely, some with him. As he had flipped through the pages that first evening, he had almost frantically searched for each and everyone of them that contained himself with her, just so he could reassure himself that she had been happy when near him. That she did need him. One in particular had caught his attention and held it, the feeling it recreated like that innocent possessiveness and fierce protectiveness he had always felt.

In the picture, Kaoru was not smiling. In fact, if he was forced to define the emotion nicely, she was displeased. Even on the smooth paper he could tell that there were tears in her eyes, the rest of her features stiff as she tried to fight them off, anger tightening her fists at the apparent failure to hide them fully. Kneeling in front of her, a look of hurt pleading on his face, was himself. In all the time he had known her, his Kaoru had only truly shown her tears a few times, and this time was worse because he knew what she wanted, and knew that he could not give that to her. Because this had been the moment when he had first left her after the war to look for Shishio.

It had hurt to leave her behind again, especially with the knowledge that she had wanted him to stay. Some part of him had known that with everything they had been through up unto that point, they were now dependant upon each other. However, the larger part of him reasoned that she was still young, only ten then, and that she had no need to tie herself to anything at that point.

Now he was fighting the thought of being away from her at all. He couldn't survive, had already determined that he couldn't. That when she left him to go out into the world she would leave behind a broken man. But… that occurrence wasn't supposed to happen for a few years yet, giving him the opportunity to be with her and to soak in as much happiness as he could. It wasn't supposed to happen now. It wasn't supposed to be him leaving her one more time.

_I can't be without her in my life right now. I need more time. And if I can just make her realize… that our mutual need for one another is not meant for an intimate level… Yes, she will understand. I know she will. She has always understood._

Already seated on the floor, his weight braced against the mattress, Kenshin reached up to the phone and quickly dialed the number to his master's house, before he could change his mind. If he talked to her now while the notions were still fresh, he would be able to convince her easier. And the sooner he convinced her, the sooner he could go home.

x

Hiko stared sadly out into the steady downpour, a crack of thunder renting the air at the same time the darkness lit like daytime. Dark eyes unusually uncertain, he wondered again for what would not be the last time if he had done right by the both of them. As it was, a week after he had thrown out his own apprentice and basically told him to never come back, he was beginning to doubt.

At first it had been strangely satisfying, to finally be able to do something about this pain his adopted daughter had dealt with for most of her life. Now, in the aftermath, he could only see how his actions had brought about more of that pain. Made known to him at his first encounter with the girl the morning after the incident.

Coming down the hall to wake her for breakfast, he had found her not in her room, but in the doorway to the boy's. Figure frozen, for how long he couldn't have guessed, one hand had braced on the shoji while the other had crossed over her chest to curl into the material covering her left shoulder. Without turning to look at him, she had whispered a question… of the boy's whereabouts. If he had gone somewhere, and if so, when he would be back.

"_He left last night, little dragon… with all of his belongings."_

For a moment he had feared her reaction, but she had merely nodded and quietly shut the shoji. _"I see."_

Later at the table, she had barely eaten anything, her attention clearly distracted as she had plucked at the material covering her left shoulder. He had wisely said nothing, and had thought she would do the same until, for no apparent reason, she had burst into tears.

It was at that moment he had rethought his reasoning. Maybe he should have made the boy stay and, since he was the father of this woman, it was well within his rights to demand some kind of commitment out of the perpetrator. Maybe persuading them to talk this through would have been a smarter plan, instead of letting him run away from his decision like he had. Maybe this one time he should have been made to face his dilemma instead of letting him figure it out on his own. Maybe experience needed to be shared and not earned.

Whatever the right path, nothing short of forcing the boy to love the girl the way she wanted seemed plausible. Not with the way her small frame had trembled with horrible sobs, the way her face had pressed into his chest for comfort, and how her tear choked voice had begged her tousan for a reason why. Why couldn't her Kenshin see her as what she was now and not what she used to be? And why, Tousan, had he left? Surely he didn't think that she truly meant for him to leave for good? Didn't he know how much she needed him?

As a father, comforting her with the knowledge that part of her anguish was his own fault, had been hard. As a mentor, he recognized and accepted that this was a part of her growth, as well as the boy's, and he needed to play this right or they would not mature into what they were meant to. If he had allowed the boy to stay, it would have only resulted in more heartache for them both. Because the girl would be restless, and the boy would be uncomfortable and confused. By doing things this way, he was hoping to push the boy's irritation and frustration just enough for him to break away from his tangle of misguided thoughts towards Kaoru and see her the way he had always seen her. Because in truth, Hiko knew that he had little to no claim over the girl, nor did anyone else. Not next to the claim Kenshin held over her. The boy just needed to realize this himself.

Lifting his head out of his reverie, Hiko tilted his chin to look back into the house, the ring of his telephone offsetting his thoughts. With one last parting glance outside, he walked into the living room to answer, dismissing the fact that it was almost midnight.

"Hello."

There was a long pause, the buzz of signal in his ear almost deafening, and Hiko shook his head. "If you have something to say, idiot, do it quickly."

"Please, shishou… I… need to speak with Kaoru." The words were soft… low.

"No."

"B-but… I can't do this, Hiko-sama. I can't… be without her. Please, if you just… let me talk to her, I know she'll understand and… I swear I'll never hurt her again. I never wanted to hurt her but… I promise I'll be more careful, and… I'll make sure she's happy. Please, I just want her to be happy." Frantic, his sentences came out disjointed, his lungs heaving for air hard enough that Hiko could hear it over the phone.

"Sou ka?"

"Hai… hai." Almost desperate for him to believe, hope welled in the boy's voice. "I'll… never leave her again, and… I promise I'll make it up to her, in whatever way she wants. I'll train with her every day and I'll cook her whatever she wants… and when school starts again I can walk her there and home and… help her with her homework and…"

"And be what? A slave? A servant? What if she wants what you are not willing to give?" Hiko's voice hardened into anger, unwilling to let his apprentice talk his way out of what was really going on. Silence descended upon them, and Hiko waited with a dull sense of foreboding.

"She does not know what she wants. She is just confused. When she realizes this she will be thankful for…"

"Yamae!" A roll of thunder punctuated his command, giving more power and authority behind the word than was already present.

"Is… was that… thunder?" A sharp vulnerability soaked the boy's voice again, apprehension shaking through the receiver. "Where's Kaoru? Is she ok? Please… let me speak with her?"

"You can't, baka. She isn't here right now." Exasperated at his persistence Hiko rubbed a hand across his forehead.

"What? But… she… she can't be out in that. She…"

"She will be just fine without your presence."

"What… do you mean?" For a moment, an awful feeling of worthlessness washed over him.

"Just that. She no longer requires your presence to protect her. She is capable enough of doing that on her own. Besides, I think she has found an answer to a question she has held in her mind. An answer she could only find it seems with the outcome of this… situation. And like all truthful answers they taste the most bitter. " Harsh , degrading laughter lifted from the large man's chest. "Congratulations, it seems you have taught her another lesson, baka deshi. One she will not soon forget, or forgive you for either, I imagine."

"I… I don't understand."

"Don't you? Well, then… she always has learned faster than you." Another pause settled between them before Kenshin chose to speak again, and Hiko felt frustration at the desperation in his voice.

"Shishou… onegai… let me come home…"

Letting out a steady breath, Hiko felt his age as he spoke the words that were needed. "This is no longer your home, Himura Kenshin. You are not welcome here."

x

**~Present~**

Violet eyes parted slowly, their focus glazed and turned inward. A short sigh drifted between thin lips, and heavy eyelids closed once more.

_Whatever your reasoning, Hiko-sama, for keeping her from me. Whatever right you had or still have to deny me her presence… I don't care. I don't care anymore about why things have happened the way they have… or that between her and I… we have such bad timing. _A small smile drifted across his lips. _The only thing I care about, what I have realized is important, is that what we want does coincide. So now… instead of letting us continue to bumble around in the dark and force unusual and often uncomfortable situations on one another… I think it is time for me to start thinking of one that will happen while we are both coherent and calm._

x

A/N: I hope that me tacking that on the end did not confuse anybody… or that it didn't make no sense what-so-ever. You just have to keep in mind this is a flashback and that everything that has happened afterwards has affected their growth and thinking as well. So… yeah… we are finally done with all of that bullshit. No more screwing myself over! Yay! XP And just so you know… I am going to try like hell to never do anything like that ever again in any of my other stories. It is way too hard and most of the time too confusing. Well… I hope that you liked it anyway…

Ok, I need you to take some things into account here. While I was writing from Kaoru's POV I ended it in such a way that made you think that Kenshin was still going to be there… because she didn't know (and still does not know) that Hiko kicked him out. Oh, um… Kenshin did not sleep with another woman… but I did think that it would be a little more realistic if the idea did occur to him… ya know. Because he is sexually frustrated… just not for anybody. Poor guy… I made him be celibate for almost a decade… which I am pretty sure did not happen in the original storyline… because Nobuhiro Watsuki-sama kept talking about brothels. Anyway, off topic… XD Ano… as you probably could tell, Hiko has become a little bit of a mastermind behind the whole separation… and originally I had not thought of it that way… but I like Hiko's character and I wanted to add depth… I hope it was good. I liked my chance at being able to make Kenshin and Hiko share a civil if not almost friendly moment when they drank together. Something I had thought about after watching the Samurai X videos ages and ages ago. I always imagined a very respectful if not honorable show of Hiko's allowance that Kenshin is now a man and one he could consider equal by having a drink with him.

Next chapter… our fight scenes return! Yay! Finally some action! (and the return of a very angry Kenshin) XD

_Please review… I likes them… because now that I finally broke 300... I want to break 4... heeheehee _


	19. Next Contestant

I was given very good advice from a reader about my bilingual dialogue. So, from here on out I will be placing the glossary at the top so that you will read the words before reading the chapter. Hopefully this will help with the flow. (Oh, and no… I'm not really fluent in Japanese -and I apologize if some of my phrasing is inaccurate- but I would love to be. That would be so awesome.) XD

**Glossary**

**Gochisasama deshita -** thank you for the meal

**Do itashimashite -** you're welcome

**Kisama** - bastard (you, disrespectful)

Disclaimer: I do not own jealousy... or rage.

x

"I'm hating what she's wearing,

Everybody here keeps staring.

Can't wait 'til they get what they deserve.

(This time somebody's getting hurt.)

Here comes the next contestant."

_Next Contestant_ - Nickleback

x

Chapter19: Next Contestant

**~Present~**

Kaoru woke with a start and instantly slammed her eyes shut, a whine of frustration pulling at her vocal cords. Cursing at the sweat covering her limbs and the way blankets and sheets tangled around her lower torso, she rolled to the side, yanking her pillow down so that it curled into her chest. _Mou!_ Huffing out a breath at the bangs covering her eyesight, she glared at the shoji and the quiet shuffling and clinking of someone in the kitchen.

All week she had been waking in the same predicament, and every morning she would feel embarrassed and jittery at the breakfast table. How did anyone expect her to sit next to the man when he was invading her dreams in such a vividly primitive way? Good God, she couldn't even look him in the eye when he greeted her in the morning. And with the way she was blushing and muttering like a shy schoolgirl, it was no wonder the poor man was just as leery.

Not that he wouldn't be blushing and muttering if he knew just what kind of things her imagination had forced both of their bodies into. The recreation and expansion of their brief encounter when she was sixteen, was almost understandable. It had taken nearly a year for her to drive those images out of her head so that she could once again sleep peacefully at night. What was really bothering her was the way her thoughts were giving her new scenarios. Like that yummy scene in the hallway of her dojo. Face flaming, she berated herself. _It's not like Kenshin would ever just press you up against the wall in plain sight like that and ravish you senseless._

Groaning, Kaoru pressed her face into the cushion, wanting nothing more than to scream.

Then of course, with everything that had passed between them that weekend before, Kenshin had been acting strange. He was as polite as ever, but more often than she was used to he would border on sweet, which she chose to ignore because she couldn't quite figure out why those situations felt weird. Otherwise he seemed distracted, and she knew at those moments he was feeling uncomfortable, more so with her strange behavior standing between them.

Sighing, Kaoru stood to change, readying herself for an overly stressful morning. Especially since she was supposed to have the day off.

Kenshin looked up briefly when he heard Kaoru enter the dining room, cursing under his breath when he burnt his finger on the side of the pan he was cooking with. Sucking the seared digit sullenly, his annoyance softened to a dark muttering, his already agitated mood tightening further. For little under a week he had tried everything he could think of to get his newly elected decision across to Kaoru, but it was harder than he thought it should be. Especially since she was acting rather peculiar.

The first day after their talk, he had woken with a determination to make things work, because he knew and allowed for the fact that they could no longer go on like they were. Not when it had become blatantly apparent that she wanted him still, without the cloud of teenage confusion, and he… well… that had been something he had come to terms with during that time he had been gone. And so, that morning had been spent with much on his mind, and he had made sure that his actions had been just as careful as when he had been trying to keep a safe distance.

He had served her breakfast on that morning, as always, but instead of keeping his eyes studiously aimed downward, he had met her gaze, a small grin pulling at his lips when she had nervously lowered her own. Then when he had walked her to the door, he had helped her with her jacket, his fingers brushing softly over the backs of her arms, before bracing briefly on the lower portion of her back as he spoke a soft goodbye. Kenshin had excused her wary glance, knowing that there was a certain amount of trust that needed to be regained in this process. Still, the hint should have gotten across to her by now. It wasn't like he was being totally discreet.

The day after, he had purposely found ways to touch her, small glances of his hands that helped or stilled her actions; picking up things that she needed; keeping her from bumping into objects in her distracted state; down to tucking stray hairs behind her ears and smiling at her startled glances. The day after that, he had brought her lunch to work, indulgently smiling when her coworkers gawked and pointed, their whispers blatantly suggestive of their relationship. Kenshin had been so sure she would notice on that day, because he had intentionally used their public setting as they ate to show affection; almost delighted when she had spilt her drink as an opportunity to offer his own. Then the day after that he had left flowers in her room. Bright white lilies that he thought would convey the purity of his intentions, and yet nothing he did seemed to get through to her.

Loading the tray down with their breakfast, he took a deep breath and stepped out of the kitchen into the dining area, taking a second to observe her actions. Seated next to his cushion, she had her back to the door, her chin in her left hand as she toyed with her tea cup. She looked slightly sulky, like something was bothering her… annoying her. A look that had been present most of the week. What that something was, he could only guess at. Though he figured, somehow, that something had a lot to do with him. He just couldn't understand what he had done this time. Especially since he was actually trying to do everything that she wanted.

When he situated himself next to her she stiffened, another movement she had become favorable with. Her shoulders squared, her spine snapped straight, and her hands balled into her lap, twisting together as if to keep them from flying off in all directions. Sleep tangled bangs hid her eyes from his view, prompting his frown to deepen, and he quickly served Yahiko to distract the boy so that he could focus his full attention on her.

Leaning forward further than necessary, her scent enveloped his senses and he paused to enjoy it. Serving her food at a more leisurely pace, he freed one hand when he was finished to tuck back her hair, liberating her features to his gaze. He had expected her to jump, for her teeth to pull in her lip and worry its cushioned skin in agitation, and was therefore surprised and delighted when she didn't, his cheerful smile deepening in his joy. Instead, her lowered irises lifted to meet his, their depths still wary yet questioning; steady. Caught, he forgot to lower his fingers away from her face, their rough pads trailing involuntarily down the line of her jaw.

"Gochisasama deshita." Softly her voice spoke her gratitude, her eyes searching the edges of his emotions, their petal like grain probing through to the deepest recesses of his being.

"D-do itashimashite."

She smiled back at his breathless stuttering, and leaned forward to start on her meal, breaking the moment up and allowing him to collect himself. Why was it so easy for her to turn the tables on him? Turning back to his own meal, he blinked twice at the sudden rapid beating against his ribs.

x

Kaoru quickly hid herself within the safety of her dojo walls, the comforting weight of her bokken in her hands. Confused, and slightly disoriented, there was little chance of her actually accomplishing any real work, but she needed something familiar to concentrate on or she was going to go mad.

What was Kenshin thinking anyway? Was he trying to torment her? Kaoru realized that he was probably trying to make up for their fight in his own way, but his way was driving her crazy! His way was making her jittery and as a result, clumsy. Half dazed by his sudden closeness she barely paid attention to her surroundings, forcing him to redirect her more often than not. Which in turn only caused more trouble as he had to actually touch her, making her blush and stammer and shy away from the heightened heat permeating her skin and the rough cadence of her awakened heart.

Not that she knew she shouldn't be happy that he was finally letting himself be close to her again, but it was just so very confusing. She knew, somewhere deep down, that Kenshin did love her but… she also knew it was not in that way that she wanted. He would only ever love her as that child he had almost raised and taken care of, only as the child she had once been and no longer was. Because she knew this, without any shadow of a doubt, there was no room for allowing her thoughts to become hopeful. It was time for her to distance herself this time. Not from him… but from her own emotions.

She could no longer go about hurting herself in the way that she was by expecting a love he may be incapable of giving. Just because she loved him beyond reason, beyond the bounds of life or death, did not mean he would also feel the same… ever. Not in the intimate, body and soul bonding way that she wanted. If that was the case, she needed to separate herself from those drowning thoughts and continue on with her life in some form of sanity. And… just because she could not have him in the way that she dreamed about, it seemed he had settled himself down to be with her, if not forever, then for long enough. He was still going to be there, around her, greeting her each morning and sending her softly off to bed each night. That was some consolation. She would never be without him. So maybe it was time to let go of such romantic notions and let their lives continue on in peace, together.

_But eternally apart._

Sighing as she realized that thought did not sit as well with her as she had hoped it would, she looked up at the young boy as he entered. The determined set to his features spoke of his tolerance, ready to deal with a beating he did not particularly want. _I guess we all have to work our way through life, coping with less than we were hoping for._

x

Kenshin looked himself over in the mirror and sighed, a hand rubbing over his face in exasperation. What was he doing? He looked… good Kami, he looked like a Spanish dancer. _You did ask Misao to help you find something to wear. It is your own fault, you know._ But silk! Was that even necessary? And in purple? Yeah it was dark enough to be almost black, but _he _still knew it was purple. And so would everyone else when the light hit it. Then the pants. She had failed to get him into leather, but the black contraptions she had forced him into were still tighter than he felt comfortable in.

Sighing again, he leaned against the counter of the bathroom sink, staring almost mutinously at his reflection. _You did ask for help… and so there is no complaining that you received some. You wouldn't know what to do on your own, and Misao was kind enough to lend you her advice, so now you must live with it. _Cringing slightly, at the headache he was beginning to develop from the high top knot of his hair as well as from the direction of his thoughts, he pushed away from the counter and walked to the door. Misao had made it very clear that they were going to be leaving at eight o'clock sharp. They still had to pick up Sano and Megumi before they went to their favorite night club.

That he had agreed to come at all, almost eagerly, had alerted Misao that there was something going on with him. Kenshin did not regularly join in on their fun… hell, he never went on their little weekend outings. Today, however, apparently was different, and Misao was beginning to suspect why when he had asked her to point him in the direction of the appropriate attire to wear. Thinking of Kaoru, Misao had spent an hour having a little too much fun surfing through his wardrobe. When it had become apparent that he had nothing decent, she had gone out and bought him something. Well… a few things, as she had been afraid he would not let her dress him in the leather pants she had found. A considerably small sacrifice for she had been able to convince him of the other choice. Though that probably had a lot to do with them being compared to the leather pants he had so quickly declined.

Watching him walk down the hallway toward the front door, only a little sulky, Misao held in a giggle. He wouldn't be feeling too sorry for himself when he saw what she had done to Kaoru… or when Kaoru reacted to what he was wearing. Glancing quickly to where Kaoru stood, fastening on a dainty slipper, she smiled slyly and slid her way around the other girl to meet Kenshin before he saw her.

Twisting up her mouth, she made a show of contemplatively looking him over. Dusting off his shoulder, she straightened his sleeves then shook her head. Shocking him, she quickly popped open the first button on his shirt and tugged at the corners of his folded collar, grinning in delight, she winked. "That's better."

"What's better?" Unaware that Kenshin was there yet, Kaoru asked from her bent over position behind Misao, her fingers slipping the straps together on her shoe before standing and turning to see for herself. Catching sight of Kenshin over the shorter girl's shoulder, she froze, her eyes blinking rapidly. _Kenshin's wearing his hair up and… _And how did she ever forget the way it intensely sharpened his facial features? That face had the look of hard battles but it also had the familiar air of a sharpened attention and indomitable affection. This was her Kenshin in a way she had not seen in years.

_Kaoru's wearing her hair down._ He had seen her with her hair down before, it was no great shock to see its watery length cascading down her back in wonderful rolls of silk. However, he had never seen her bangs flattened into is thickness in a way that freed her forehead and still shadowed her eyes. Like water still clung to the black mane, weighing down the volume it usually carried, her hair lay closer to her skin and therefore trailed further down her face to the middle of her cheeks. This look somehow created a mysterious air about her, combined with the dark linings around her lashes, he could almost see her as a predator; dangerous and alluring. But maybe that had been the point all along.

"Well, Kaoru, don't you think he looks better?" Teasingly, Misao stepped out from between them and gestured with one hand, the long sleeve of her outfit flowing gracefully with the motion. Almost clapping her hands in triumph, she watched the violet of Kenshin's eyes darken and the indigo of Kaoru's brighten. _Oh yeah, chalk one up to the master._

As Kaoru found that the long sleeved shirt Kenshin wore defined as well as hid the array of muscles he carried under its soft material, Kenshin also found that there was probably more to Kaoru than he had first realized. More delightful areas being shown at that very moment than he rightly wanted to think about. Or wanted others to see while he didn't think about them.

Complimenting his own attire, Kaoru wore red. A shade of color that was dark enough to be mistaken with blood. Hugging her lithe body the strapped on top covered her front like a large, folded handkerchief would, dipping down to barely conceal her navel. Wondering how he was going to make it through the night without actually becoming curious enough to find it, he dropped his gaze to the dark skirt she wore.

Layering once, the black material hung to her calves, the seam echoing the top with a handkerchief bottom. Just below he could make out her twin tattoos and he knew that the one on her shoulder would be visible as well, if the tiny strings holding on her shirt said anything about what the back looked like. Taking a deep breath, he lifted his irises to meet hers again and stopped at the look of appreciation he caught there. Maybe Misao did know what she was doing.

"Alright!" Misao clapped her hands together once, making them both jump. "Time to pick up the other two and get to partying! After this week, I'm gonna need it."

Kaoru agreed quickly and turned to skitter out the door, her heart a malicious bang in her chest as she tried to remind herself of the decision she had made only earlier that day. But the way his eyes had roved over her… it had been so very exhilarating to know that he was surprised by her appearance. That he might have actually seen her as a woman. An _attractive _woman. It was hard to ignore such blatant appreciation, just as it was hard to ignore the crisp looking attire he had suddenly acquired. _That would probably be Misao. _Closing her eyes she shook her head and sighed. _I'll really have to thank her later. If anything, I've got some great eye-candy for the rest of the evening._

Misao jumped automatically into the driver's seat of the car, Kaoru grabbing shotgun, which left Kenshin in the back by himself. It was going to be a little bit of a tight fit once they picked up Sano and Megumi, but it wasn't that far of a drive, and as long as they didn't try to wrestle they would all survive. Adjusting the mirror to see out the back window, Misao grinned at Kenshin's reflection. It seemed he had noticed Kaoru's liking of his appearance, just by his body language she could tell that he was much more comfortable than he had been mere minutes before. If truth be told, she didn't wonder if he wasn't just a little bit _too _comfortable with the situation. Snorting, she laughed under her breath. _He knows he looks too damn good._

Throwing the car into gear, she took off down the road.

Forty minutes later she was parking in their usual spot down the street from the club. They were going to have to walk a ways, but it was a busy night, there was no help for it. Sighing pleasantly as she hopped out of the car, she flirted her short skirt at the guys walking by, grinning at Kaoru when they wolf-whistled. Making sure her hair had not fallen out of place, she straightened her kimono top and smoothed out an imaginary wrinkle. To hell with moping around tonight. She was going to have fun.

"Really, Misao-san, you need to learn a little tact if you're ever going to catch a man." Megumi, her own hands tugging minimally on her flattering dress, lifted an eyebrow at Misao's actions. Then, as if to prove a point, she "accidentally" dropped a comb out of her purse, a small sound of shock rubbing against her throat. "Oh, how clumsy of me." Sano almost immediately bent to pick it up for her, and no one missed the lengthy amount of time it took. Rolling her eyes, Kaoru bopped him on the head.

"Stop drooling all over her legs and get up. I need a drink."

Misao laughed while Megumi smirked, Sano's petulant face showing his indignity at her interruption of his scrutiny. Kenshin could only feel sympathy.

Covering her laughter, Misao turned to follow after Kaoru, talking over her shoulder as the others trailed behind them. "Who says I'm trying to catch a man anyway, Megumi-san? I'm just having fun."

Megumi laughed and agreed, but Kaoru tossed a sad look in her friend's direction, knowing that somewhere in her heart Misao was in as much pain as she was pretending not to be. _Damn Aoshi and his pig-headedness. Damn the war. Damn Shishio. Damn the government… _Looking up at the hand on her shoulder, she smiled automatically, then stuttered at the violet eyes staring back at her.

"Are you ok, Kaoru-dono?" _And damn Kenshin too… for making this so hard._

"Hai… uh, we shouldn't lose the others." Noticing Sano's head bobbing around the crowd, Kaoru gestured after them. "It's hard to find who you're looking for when you lose them in here." Giggling half-heartedly, she made a beeline to follow.

They took up one whole side of the bar on their own. With Sano and Megumi chatting easily together, Misao and Kaoru deciding what they wanted first to drink and Kenshin bringing up the other side, they made quite the party. It wasn't long before they attracted attention and Misao was up dancing with a guy, Kaoru turning down the guy's friend, much to his disappointment. Half-way stuck with Kenshin next to her, Kaoru bit her lip as she cradled her drink in her hands. His presence was almost overwhelming her, and she wasn't quite sure what to do about it.

Still uncertain how to make her see his intentions clearly, without making an ass out of himself, Kenshin let out a strained breath. The activity around them was almost too much; the music, the dancing, the talking and the clinking of glass. It was not what he found relatively relaxing, and he didn't think he wanted Kaoru to find out about anything in a place like this. It seemed almost… too brash, without any softness to it at all. Still, if he could find someway to trigger an alarm off in her head, he might just be lucky enough for her not to realize what he was about until the next day. Then they could talk it through. Now… right now, he might just try to follow Misao's advice and just have fun.

Glancing at Kaoru once again, he reached up to gently tuck her hair behind her ear, freeing the silver length of rope she had hanging from its lobe. Leaning forward, he felt her freeze, and held in a smile. Stopping a mere inch from her, he deftly turned his suddenly intimate position back to something harmless with a simple question. "Do you and the others always come here?"

Startled, Kaoru turned to face him, her body leaning slightly back when she found him to be so very close. Licking her lips, she blinked away the desire to lean in and replied. "Most of the time… but this is the first time Megumi-san has been able to join us."

"Oh? Because she is busy at the clinic?"

"Hai…"

Kenshin smiled as Kaoru eased up and began chattering with him, thankful that she was no longer nervous in his presence like she had been all week. Though he had to wonder if it was the alcohol she was consuming that was helping him out. Shrugging the thought off, he sipped at his own drink and enjoyed the night as it progressed.

A few hours later, and she was no longer shying away from his fingers as they grazed over her hair or face. In fact, if he was reading anything correctly, she was actually half-way beginning to expect it. Content that something was working out, though he couldn't name exactly what it was, he caught his breath when she leaned into him, her laughter working free of her throat at something Sano had said. An arm wrapping cautiously around her shoulders to keep her balanced, he felt a tremble in his chest. The feel of her head pressed against his sternum brought back a sentiment he had not experienced in years. That comfort he had strived for, had lived for, returning, as well as the gentle warmth of her ki mixing with his. Breathing deep, the spicy scent of jasmine enveloped his senses and he reeled in the wonderful knowledge that she was going to be his again. Only on a much larger scale.

Feeling that deep well of need from within; to shelter her, to hide her from all other eyes and keep her as his own joy, his and only his; he closed his eyes and battled down the feeling. Not yet, she was not yet ready. He was not yet ready. Steadying himself, he glanced away, and found Megumi's dark eyes looking to him from the other side of Misao, a deep furrow creasing her brow. Startled, he wondered what she had seen.

Eventually Kaoru found her way back into her own seat, the conversation carrying on without a hitch, and Kenshin followed it with only a vague interest. His head leaning casually in his hand as he braced his elbow on the counter, his eyes searched the emotions on the face of the woman next to him. Alcohol had made him slightly complacent, and he was savoring the feeling next to the tension that had consumed him all week. Realizing what the appeal was to them with these outings, Kenshin made a promise to come with them again sometime.

Just as his fingers rose to play with the shiny chain of Kaoru's earrings once more, he jolted forward with the force of another body knocking into him from behind. Turning to see what had happened, he found the large brown eyes of a foreign woman staring at him with a sincere mixture of apology and a small amount of fear. Words poured from her mouth and it took his sluggish mind a moment to realize that she was speaking German. Blinking a couple of times to clear his brain, he answered back in her own language, reassuring her that everything was fine and he was not angry. Surprise filled her vision as he spoke, and she only became more excited when she recognized his fluency in her native tongue.

Apparently she was a little lost. She had traveled there with a couple of other friends and when they had entered the club, she had lost sight of them and could not find them anywhere. Remembering what Kaoru had said when they had first arrived, Kenshin sympathized with her, assuring her that they were probably looking for her as well, and that she would be fine. By this time, the attention of the other members of his party were captured as well, watching the two talk it out with an ease that was grating on one of their nerves.

Kenshin, unaware of any danger, answered the woman's introduction with his own. She paused slightly at his name, and Kenshin did not think twice about the sharp change of direction their conversation had taken. From her frantic hysterics about being lost in a strange country to lingering over the man she was now flirting with, it was all lost on his ignorant mind. The focus of his romantic attention was nowhere close to where this woman was trying to lead him to. It wasn't until the blonde headed woman had suggested that he show her to a police station, as she was quite worried since it had been several hours, that Kaoru decided it had gone on long enough.

Slamming down the empty cup in her hand, Kaoru leaned over the top of Kenshin, her hand gripping the back of his chair as a barrier between the strange female and the man she was trying to ensnare. Angry irises boring into the surprised brown of the new arrival, Kaoru spit back at her in a flawless German that had her jerking in shock.

"Why don't you stop trying to fuck with somebody else's man and find one of your own?"

Sano and Misao burst out laughing as the woman scuttled off quickly enough, Megumi's sly smile showing she had appreciated Kaoru's actions as well. Kenshin, shocked that his Kaoru was so fluent in a foreign language as well as so defensive of another woman simply talking to him, stared at her as she sat back down. Hunched over and clearly still angry, she ordered another drink and studiously ignored him.

Unsure if he was still allowed to touch her now, he studied her form with confusion, unaware that the other woman had not been asking if he would innocently escort her to a police station, but rather illicitly suggesting that they leave together to go somewhere more private. Back to square one, he sighed and waved his own hand for a drink.

Fuming, Kaoru stared at the quickly emptying contents of her glass, her muscles twitching as she tried not to imagine how good it would feel to beat that woman to a pulp and just be done with it. Her drinking taking on a serious tilt, her anger building at Kenshin when he had not recognized nor blocked such advances, she twisted violently when someone placed a hand on her shoulder.

Stopping when she realized that it was not Kenshin, she looked up at the dark eyes of another man she had never seen before, her irises narrowing. Opening her mouth to blow him off, her anger reeled in when he smiled, seemingly amused.

"You should not carry such an angry look on your features, milady. You are much cuter when you laugh."

Stupefied, she temporarily forgot her annoyance and her expression turned to one of confusion instead. "What do you care?"

"Indeed, your business is your own. I have simply come to beg a dance from you, and since you are not previously engaged I do not see why you should not accept."

Opening her mouth to reply, a scathing remark coming to mind, she carelessly glanced sideways at Kenshin and froze at the look on his face. _Maybe he'd sympathize if the tables were turned?_ Coming to a decision quickly, she looked back to the man and saw him smile before she even answered.

"Alright then."

Misao stared after the two as they departed for the dance floor, her mouth hanging wide open. Huffing out a laugh, Sano leaned forward and snapped it shut with a finger.

"What's wrong, weasel? It's not like she hasn't danced before."

"Yeah, but…" Swallowing with difficulty, Misao kept staring while Megumi laughed.

"But that man is drop-dead gorgeous, isn't he?" Giggling a fox laugh behind a hand, she shrugged her shoulders at Sano's pursed lips and hurt expression.

Kenshin scowled. _I'll show him drop dead._

x

Kaoru turned to the man that had yet to introduce himself and placed her hands on her hips. "Now listen here, I said I would dance with you, but there are a few rules I would like you to be aware of first."

The man laughed at her this time, his smile widening in his continued amusement. "Do not worry, pretty lady, I am well aware of why you have agreed to dance with me at all. You are hoping to make that man that was sitting beside you jealous, ne?" Kaoru stuttered and the smile on his face forced his eyes closed for a brief moment. "There is no question that you are interested in him, and I can tell that he is interested in you as well. After one dance with me, however, I can promise you that he will be a little more _forward _about said interest." The suggestive way he stated this made Kaoru blush, but she was not a fool.

"What do you get out of it?"

"Only a dance with a beautiful woman." Brushing off her hesitation, he wrapped gentle fingers around her wrist and directed her arm to the curve of his neck. "Come now, I promise I will not touch you inappropriately. If you follow my instructions, however, it will look much more intimate than it seems."

Still wary, Kaoru nodded her head and stepped closer. "As long as you realize the consequences if you do slip up."

"Do not worry, I have no sadistic desire to be beaten by your gentleman friend over there."

Grinning like a predator, Kaoru half-laughed at his words. "Who says he would be the one beating you?" Lightly placing her free hand in his, she swayed with the rhythm of the music, watching carefully as he situated his other hand on her body. "You didn't tell me your name."

"Sojiro. And yours?"

"Kaoru."

"It's lovely to meet you, Kaoru-san." This time his smile was more like the predator.

Kenshin made a noncommittal noise at the words coming from Sano's mouth, his question lost in the buzz of his rampant and quite chaotic wishes to do more than glare at the youth dancing so very familiarly with his Kaoru. Neither noticing nor caring about Sano's lapse into silence, Kenshin followed every movement with the observant eye of an artist sketching out a masterpiece. Not one finger was missed when it so casually touched bare skin; nor one lingering glance. _That boy is going to get more than he's bargained for._

Megumi looked over the stone expression on Kenshin's face, then turned her attention to the couple on the dance floor. She really hoped Kaoru knew what she was doing. Playing with fire was one thing in her book, but this… this was more like playing with a raging dragon. Kenshin had the look of jealousy on his face but… Kenshin was not the type of man to piss off. Neither was Sano, for that matter. Glancing back at the man beside her, she narrowed her eyes and chewed the inside of her cheek. _But Sano fights with his hands, and he has never in his life killed a man. Kenshin, on the other hand…_ Megumi knew what Kenshin used to be, and she knew it would be so easy.

Then again, the man was pretty damn cute. Dressed not unlike Kenshin himself, with dark slacks and a delicate periwinkle silk shirt, he was almost as attractive. With deep, coal black hair cropped just shy of his ears and a slight, yet wiry build. Then there was that smile… easy and yet mysterious, as if few really knew him, and it never once left his face. Maybe Kaoru was just interested. _And maybe I'll sprout wings and fly with the birds. _Snorting, Megumi knew very well what the woman was up to, and she only hoped poor Kenshin could take it. If not, she hoped the spectacle would be over with soon. She was tired of the fumes coming from the man's ears. It had a very negative effect on the aura of the club.

Kaoru, despite her best efforts and berating inner voice, was beginning to enjoy herself. Sojiro was easy-going, always smiled, never once made her feel edgy about his presence so near her, and was quite happy if she did not really want to speak about certain things. Though he did seem to have an endless supply of questions. What she did? Why she did it? Where she came from? Who were her friends? Where did she meet them? What did they do? If she worked? Where? Did she like it? Down to the little tattoos on her shin. Answering, or skillfully brushing aside the subject, she smiled back and continued to dance along with the music.

There bodies weren't particularly close together, so when he talked he always leaned forward to voice his questions or responses next to her ear. This was almost required because of the volume of the music. Thinking nothing of it, she never noticed the way his eyes did not stay with her, or even look to the other dancers, but rather held steady with a pair of quickly darkening amber. Nor did she notice his smirks in reaction to a scowl, or the way his eyes turned sardonic when he smoothly adjusted his hand from her shoulder to the small of her back, the ghosting of his hand looking more like a seductive slid to any spectator catching the movement. By chance of course.

Laughing in surprise when he abruptly moved her into a twirl, he caught her against him for a brief second, smiling winningly at the tightening of a snarl, and looked down into the brightly lit eyes of his dance partner. She was still laughing, and it was helping the situation immensely. Red catching his eye in the midst of the move, he used her close proximity as an excuse to run two fingers over the dragon ingrained on the skin of her back, his head leaning over her shoulder.

"I did not notice this tattoo, Kaoru-san. What does it mean?" Distracting her with words, he discreetly ran his fingers over the marking a second time, looking up to make sure he had the other man's close attention. Triumphantly taking in the clenched knuckles turning white against the glass of his drink, Sojiro tilted his head as Kaoru answered, closing his eyes and making it look as if he were smelling her hair. A loud crack not unlike thunder cut through the music, the tinkling of glass raining down on the floor quickly following, and Sojiro's grin widened.

Mere seconds later and Kaoru was yelping in alarm as her body was jerked backwards, Kenshin's clenched fingers digging into the soft flesh of her upper biceps. Blinking in surprise she took a breath to speak when quiet words growling deep in the back of his throat rumbled across her skin.

"Do not come near her again, or I will make you regret it." The smile on Sojiro's face never left and it only angered Kenshin more. Pulling Kaoru back toward the bar, he bit down on the desire to do more than threaten.

"Kenshin…" Helplessly trying to keep up, she tripped and was forced to catch her balance against his shoulder. Tight fingers braced her weight, but hardly helped the pain sprouting to life in her arm. Wincing, she stumbled to a stop in front of Misao and the other two.

"We're leaving." The statement was greeted with a squeak of agreement from the younger woman and a hesitant reply from Sano. Distractedly, Kaoru shifted her weight and stared down at the scatter of glass on the floor, wondering off-hand where it had come from. No sooner was the thought digested than he was dragging her back to the door of the club.

Misao turned wide eyes to Sano and Megumi, Sano nodding his head in understanding. Megumi turned back to her drink and shrugged her shoulders. "About damn time, if you ask me. Though they probably would have had more fun if he'd done this earlier."

"Megumi!" Slightly shocked, yet holding in her humor, Misao tried to scold her.

"Huh, you didn't get to see the look on his face. I thought he was going to take her right there."

Sano snorted. "Too bad, though. I doubt either of them are going to have any fun tonight. Not with the way he looked." Misao's expression turned to worry and he sighed. "Let's just hope Jou-chan can handle what she stirred up. A man's anger isn't something to sniff at." Laughing openly, Megumi swatted him on the back of the head.

Outside the crisp air of still spring hit Kaoru like a punch, clearing some of the alcohol from her brain and allowing her to think without misguidance. Kenshin was angry. That was without a doubt. But that didn't mean he had to practically tear her arm off.

"Kenshin! What's going on?" Trying to stop, she dug in her heels on the cement sidewalk, pulling on the arm he held captive.

"We are going home." His hair hid his eyes from her view, and the statement was made reasonably, but the quiet baritone of his voice was unquestionably still enraged.

"What if I wasn't ready to go home?" Sassing back with only a little bit of irritation, Kaoru jumped when he abruptly stopped and turned to face her.

"You don't have a say in the matter." Anger was what she had expected, but she had almost forgotten what his anger consisted of. That she had not seen it in years attested to the fact that he had been gone for so long. Because she was tired of his eternally distant and yet cheerful mood, she had gladly wished for a change in his attitude towards her, anything to make a difference, but not this.

Amber irises were flat, the fire that she had seen in them once before dead and in its place the cold rage of… hurt? Indignation softening under realization, she did not protest when he twisted away, his hand still leading her down the street and finally into the back seat of a taxi.

At her home, its solid walls bracing against the night, she stepped out of the taxi, her demeanor subdued and regretful. She had not meant to hurt Kenshin, only to make him jealous… that was all. There should have been nothing wrong with that. Not when he had done the same to her. Looking at his back as he led the way through the side gate, her brow knitted and she fought the tremble in her chest. Apparently there was a lot wrong with that, and she knew she would never do it again. Because where he had been angry and cold, and his fingers had bruised her skin, now he no longer even looked at her.

Inside the front door, his shoes slipping from his feet easily, she lifted a hand to stop him, to say something. To apologize. But he was already up the step and heading down the hall before she could take a breath, his back rigid and his feet light. Lowering her head, she cringed when the door of his room slammed in outright fury.

_Kenshin is truly angry with me._ Trembling, she slowly sat down on the elevated floor of her hallway, her head dropping into her hands. And she cried.

x

A bright flash of periwinkle blue hid itself within the newly budding leaves of a tall tree, dark eyes watching the two people below. Smile held eternally on his face, Seta Sojiro slipped out a cell phone from his pocket the moment all the lights went out at the dojo.

"Yes, master, I have found him… Yes, I have found that too…" Laughing softly at the voice in his ear, he stood from his position and stated triumphantly. "It is a woman." Another disbelieving statement and Sojiro shook his head. "This one is special… Yes, the rumors were true. He would gladly kill for her."

x

The next morning, Kaoru sat numbly at the breakfast table, remembering longingly only the morning before when calloused fingers had brushed affectionately over her skin, tucking back her hair. Today, was different, more so than any morning she had ever shared with Kenshin… and in the desperation of her thoughts she actually wished for something so small as a fake smile from him. But today… there was nothing.

Today, Kenshin did not meet her eye, nor smile in greeting, nor truly give any greeting at all. Today, he stared determinedly at his feet, the wall of hair that had reappeared because of his lower ponytail giving no view of his irises. Today, he served her the food with as much indifference as he did Yahiko… if not more so. Today… he did not eat at all.

Suddenly sick with the thought that she had more than just angered him, she had made him despise her, Kaoru placed her own chopsticks next to her bowl and excused herself from the table. Stomach cramping, she went to the bathroom and sat on the lowered lid of the toilet. Trying frantically to catch her breath, the wind unexpectedly hard to keep in her lungs, she lifted a hand to absently interrupt the path of a rogue tear.

_He's still angry with me. _Clenching her eyes shut she realized that she did not know what to do about it to make it right, as her experience did not stretch that far. _What do I do? What do I say? _A knock landed on the door and her heart jumped.

"Hey, Kenshin says you're going to be late for work." Yahiko's voice rang out through the door and her heart dropped, flattening further when the boy grumbled as he walked away. "Though I don't know why he couldn't just tell you himself."

Biting her lip on a sob, she stood and made herself look in the mirror, to check if her sorrow had affected her features. Besides the twisting of her lips and the furrows of her eyes, there was no redness and Kaoru deemed herself ready to leave. Though she did not know how she was going to make it through the day.

x

Kenshin threw the dishes of their breakfast in the sink, noting absently that the only ones that were clean were Yahiko's. _Good! _Slightly spiteful, he hoped Kaoru went hungry. Tossing the dishrag in the soapy water, he sank his arms in up to his elbows and scrubbed. Grinding his teeth, the image of that boy sniffing her hair floated across his mind, and with it many others. The sound of her laughter as he spun her around. The way she whispered in his ear as they spoke, and vice versa. The twirl of her dress and the glimpse of her skin, the bright red mark of his claim seeming to taunt him as she danced with someone else.

Ceramic broke freely in his hand and a sharp edge bit deeply into his palm, blood bursting brightly from the wound and darkening the water. Hissing, he yanked his hand out of the sink, digging out and wrapping a clean rag around the gash to stop the bleeding. Rage filling him at the injustice of where his life seemed to be headed, he lashed out and punched the wall, his fist connecting and gliding through to the solid inner structure. Breathing heavily, he stared at the hole he had made in Kaoru's house and silence descended upon him, the gravity of what he had done striking him out of his fury. Glad only that Yahiko had not been home, he pulled his fist free and turned to slide his back down the wall until he sat on the floor.

Pain throbbed from his palm, but it was physical and well known. Another type of pain pulsated from the vicinity of his heart, but it too was well known. What hurt was the reason, and he could not cope with it in any way that he was aware of. He was angry, yes, there was anger; at that boy for touching his Kaoru in such familiar ways and mocking him with his ease in doing so. The shake in his muscles was from more than just an anger, however, and in some aspect he had been scared of what could have happened. More than one thought of giving pain had drifted across his mind that night before. Still, anger was not the only thing motivating his anguish.

Hurt had followed closely in second. That Kaoru had allowed any of it, had gladly accepted the dance from a stranger when she must have known what his own reaction would be, had hurt. Hadn't she reacted in much the same way mere moments before with that woman? Why would she in turn wish to give those emotions to him? Didn't she know that he couldn't handle the thought of her with someone else, let alone see such an occurrence right in front of his eyes? What did she expect from him? What was she trying to accomplish?

A reaction? For what purpose? Hadn't she seen what he had been tying to do for her all week? Didn't she know what he wanted? Couldn't she tell that he loved her?

_No, you were trying to be subtle, remember? You didn't want to frighten her._ Leaning his head back into the wood behind him, he clenched his eyes shut, tears of frustration fighting their way from between tight crevices. Why was this so much harder than it had ever been before?

x

It was seven o'clock, dinner was on the table, and Kenshin had come to a decision. No more beating around the bush, as it were. They were going to have this out, one way or another, and it was going to be tonight.

Yahiko sat across the table, his self-training done for the day as Kaoru was scheduled to spend two hours at the Maekawa Dojo that evening. A yawn pulled at his lips, and he hungrily eyed the food laid out before him, but he would not touch a thing until Kaoru showed up. Kenshin had insisted upon that the first time this routine had become his. Letting out a breath, Kenshin smiled sadly. Kaoru would be home soon, and he almost felt a need to skip dinner and just confront her in the hall. He wanted this out today. Not tomorrow, not the day after, and certainly not one moment longer than he had to.

Looking up when the mantel clock chimed the half-hour, Kenshin's brow furrowed. Kaoru wasn't home yet. Looking to the dozing form of the boy sitting quietly on his cushion, he stood, smiling reassuringly to the dark eyes when they shot open at his movement.

"Why don't you go ahead and eat, Yahiko-kun?"

"Where's Kaoru?" Rubbing sleepily at one eye, he glanced around the empty room, her presence nowhere to be found.

"I'm going to find out. Eat." Leaving the order hanging in the air, he walked to the kitchen and lifted the receiver, dialing the number to the Maekawa Dojo. The master of the dojo answered after a few short rings and Kenshin explained.

"But Kaoru-san has not been to the dojo today. We received a phone call from her work place saying that she was going home sick and would not be able to make it."

Thanking him quickly, the worry in the pit of his stomach building and tightening further, Kenshin hung up. Dialing the number for her work, he placed a hand over the hole in the wall while it rang, thinking absently about its creation. An operator answered almost immediately and he asked for Kaoru's direct manager.

"This is Fukakawa, how may I help you?"

Kenshin quickly explained the situation a second time, asking quietly when Kaoru had left and if she had mentioned anything about going somewhere else.

"Ah, Kamiya-san did not look like she was feeling well today, Himura-san. I sent her home early this morning at around ten."

"Ten?" Feeling slightly sick, he swallowed the bile in the back of his throat and forced himself to continue. "And did she mention she was going to go somewhere else besides home, anything at all?"

"No, sir."

Thanking him, Kenshin next dialed Misao's cell, her cheerful voice piping up over the speaker. Surely Kaoru would have called and told him she was going somewhere else. Especially if she was sent home from work because of a sickness. But then again… they had been, if not fighting, then not speaking either.

"Misao-san, have you seen Kaoru?"

"No, why?" Curiosity filled Misao's voice and Kenshin was forced to clarify a third time.

"Kaoru has not come home yet and I'm beginning to worry. Her boss said that she was sent home sick early this morning and the Maekawa Dojo has heard nothing from her either. I was hoping that you would have seen her."

"No, I've been in classes all day, and there weren't any voice messages on my phone." Worry was beginning to make itself known in her voice, and Kenshin's knotted stomach could only agree. "Have you called Sano, yet? Or maybe Megumi-san? If she was sick then maybe she visited there and they just forgot to call or something." Reaching for some reason, even if it was a little desperate, Kenshin agreed to call and find out, hoping that she was right.

But she hadn't visited Sano's nor was she at the clinic. Thoroughly gripped by anxiety, not wanting this to happen when so much had occurred the night before, and none of it really good, Kenshin decided it was time to call the police.

Only they did not look for missing persons until they were gone for more than forty-eight hours, or so they so cryptically informed him. By the time he was done arguing with them, Misao and Sano had shown up, both of them having searched areas they thought she might have been; Yahiko having run over to the restaurant he frequented to see if she wasn't visiting a woman named Tae. But she was nowhere and it was now nine o'clock, and Kenshin was starting to get irritated with his inability to find out anything.

Pacing in the kitchen, wondering if this wasn't his fault, wondering if what had happened the night before wasn't the cause of her disappearance, he held himself back from going and searching for her personally. What if all he had to do was wait? Just one more minute and she might be there, walking through the door. And oh would she get an ear-full, but at least she would be safe. At least she would be home.

Deciding that it did not matter if she was trying to cool off or not, Kenshin stalked to the door, intent on leaving… when the phone rang. Turning back in time to see Misao's eyes snap up eagerly and the two other's echo the look, he watched Sano swipe up the phone in an irritated motion.

"Kamiya-Dojo." His voice was hurried, the traditional greeting falling rapidly from his lips as he had no taste for their interference right now. "What? Is this some kind of joke?" Sano's voice was indignant, his volume rising in his impatience and anger. "What the hell makes you think the Hitokiri Battosai would be here?"

Kenshin's eyes leveled, the anxiety in his stomach knotting so tight it strung his nerves straight and solid in a way he had not felt in years. Coldly letting an indomitable rage settle over his being, he made his way forward and held his hand out for the phone. This was not going to happen again. They would not hurt her a second time.

About to hang up, Sano looked Kenshin over in surprise, before allowing that the man was probably going to rip their heads off for even suggesting such a blasphemy. Handing him the phone, he crossed his arms and waited.

"Where is she?"

Kenshin felt the confusion mount in the room as his words did not deny the presence of the one asked for but confirmed it with a question of his own. Attention focused on the culprit who was behind the disappearance of his Kaoru, Kenshin had no time to feel any sorrow at their knowledge of his true identity.

"Ah, there you are Battosai, I was beginning to wonder if I had the wrong number. But, that wouldn't be right. This sweet little thing wouldn't give me anything but what I asked for." A smooth voice he did not recognize whispered to him over the phone. It was male.

"If you touch her, you will regret it."

"Ah, very good. I was counting on that anger." The voice was amused now, content with his reaction. "But alas… you see, the problem is… I _have _already touched her, and there is not one ounce of regret in my body. In fact, I feel quite the opposite. She is a lovely piece of work. I guess I have you to thank for that."

Kenshin closed his eyes and turned away from the others, an emotion he wasn't quite sure of budding within his mind. "How do I know you're not bluffing?"

"I'm not."

"Give me proof that you have her."

"Ah ah ah, quite the demanding fellow you are. But you're right, let's get down to business shall we? After all, I've already had my pleasure." Muffled footsteps were heard as the man walked a short distance, and then the definite rattle of chains shot clearly over the earpiece followed by a muted groan; feminine in all respects. "Come on, my sweet, wake up. Your Battosai wants to hear your voice." Another groan and the man taunted them both. "Oh I know you're tired, I should not have been so rough on you." A snarl informed Kenshin that Kaoru was now fully awake, the sharp clink of a chain stretching tight hitting his ears.

"Don't touch me you filthy…!" The words were silenced quickly, the shuffling sounds of a short scuffle informing Kenshin that the phone was still working. Then laughter.

"She is a spirited woman, Battosai! I can understand why you like her so much."

"Kisama!" Hissing in rage, Kenshin felt the phone squeak in his hands as his muscles tightened, blood pooling from the cut in his palm.

"Such language, Battosai. You should be more careful who you insult, I might just take it personally."

"Tell me where you're keeping her and your death will be quick."

"Yes." Satisfaction filled the man's voice, and he caressed the word like a lover. "Get angry, Battosai. I want you to be angry."

"Where are you keeping her?" Growing impatiently, he forced the words out over the shake of his rage.

Laughter, maddening and low grated his nerves further, tapering off suddenly as the smooth voice he despised rose again. "At the twenty-third pier on the south docks. I'd give myself forty minutes, give or take five, before I get bored and decide to entertain myself. Don't be late, Battosai."

The phone dropped from stiff fingers, and Kenshin stalked out, laughter still ringing from the speaker.

Shocked, Misao, Sano and Yahiko watched the man withdraw, his quiet footsteps leaving no sound behind as he made his way back into the house. When he returned, his figure slipping by the opened door like a shadow, the long sword in his grip gave meaning to his intentions and they hurried to catch up.

"Where are you going? Where's Kaoru?" Sano spoke up first, Misao's anxious figure bouncing behind him as she tried to grab his attention.

"Sano don't…" Shaking off her hand, Sano double-stepped to keep up with Kenshin's sleek movements.

"Hey man, where is she?" Irritation welled up in his voice when his questions went on unanswered, and Sano finally grabbed the man by the sleeve and forced him to look him in the eye. "Dammit, she was my friend long before she was yours! I want to know what's going on!"

Snapping, his nerves already strung taught with the images placed in his head, he twisted quickly, his own hand filling with a wad of shirt material. Pushing against the taller man harshly, he slammed Sano back against the outside wall of the house with surprising strength. Amber irises, cold and deadly, stared up at him, the severity of the expression on his face proving his namesake. "Understand this, Sagara Sanosuke, Kaoru was mine long before your name was even heard of. I am the **only **one who has any rights to her. _The only_." Dropping his hold, he moved to the edge of the engawa and stopped only when Misao spoke up quietly.

"You're right, Kenshin. But she is our friend, too." Aquamarine irises quivered slightly under his gaze when he turned. "We just want to know what we can do to help."

Kenshin stared her down, unaware of the weight of his glare, before flitting his eyes first to the indignant sneer of Sano's features, then to the wide-eyed, frozen figure of the boy. Kaoru's Yahiko. And there was more than just worry in his irises. Tilting his head away, he stepped off the ledge and stated her whereabouts.

"Bring the police… and an ambulance. Ask for Police Chief Uramura."

Silence descended as Kenshin disappeared, and Misao sighed as the tension left as well. His ki was strung so tight it choked the air around the poor man, and affected anyone within reach. Looking to Yahiko, she sighed and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Kenshin… is **The **Hitokiri Battosai?" Looking to her for clarification, Misao tried to smile, her head nodding in assent. Moving away from him, she made her way up the engawa to the other man, placing a hand on his stiff shoulder.

"…About nine years ago, at the end of the war, a man came to the Aoi-ya to work with my mentor and okashira, Shinomori Aoshi. They were not particularly fond of one another, as they had fought on separate sides, but for the good of this new era they were thrown together to try and stop a force that could possibly destroy it. This man was the Hitokiri Battosai." Seeing Sano's puzzled look, she smiled and continued, for he needed to hear the story to fully understand Kenshin's actions. "Because of my own nature and knowing that what they were doing was supposed to be confidential, I interrupted their meetings often, an occurrence that soon became tiring for their goal. To distract me, Kenshin brought me a playmate. She was the daughter of his master, he said. She was lonely while he was away, as well, and he hoped that we could become friends. She was shy, and stuck to her Kenshin closely for comfort and support. She was also very protective of him, even yelling at my own mentor when he later became brash enough to attack him with words." A smile came over Misao's face, and she tilted her head slightly to the side, her eyes closing. "Kaoru does not like it when anyone says bad things about Kenshin."

Sano said nothing, his pupils dilated, his thoughts withdrawn. Patting him on the arm, she directed them all off the porch to the front gate. "Do not take Kenshin's anger personally, Sano. He has always been overprotective of Kaoru. Right now, we just need to do as he asked and get the police. There is no need to worry about Kaoru with Kenshin on his way there."

x

Twenty-nine minutes later, Kenshin was dropping down in front of an old warehouse on the twenty-third pier, looking into the darkness that swallowed up the space between the open doors. Calm and emotionless, he walked with spine straight into its clutches. The Battosai was no stranger to the dark.

x

A/N: XD

Yeah, I know… what took you so damn long? And for what? Such a short chapter! (sighs in dismay) Well, short by my standards anyway. Though we all know what is coming next. Hiyah! What a wonderful battle I shall try to endure! Such a beautiful cataclysmic burst of emotion! Tempers will flare! Deadly blades of steel will clash! Laughter will fill the air in triumph and pleasure! I can't wait! (screams in giddy glee; clenched fists waving in the air!) How long do you say? (author winces) That, my dear friends, only God knows. And he does like to keep such a sense of humor. What a wonderful being that keeps us on our toes with new adventures.

Anyway, now that I have had my moment of eccentricity, I would like to thank you for waiting, thank you for reading, hopefully reviewing, and thank you for not tracking me down, tying me up, and demanding a chapter. Such faith my little ones. You make this author so happy!


	20. That Familiar Feeling

Thank you for reading and reviewing, and being patient. Hope that this is a sufficient enough reward.

**Glossary**

**Dame - **don't; stop; no good

**Onegai shimasu - **please (request)

**Daijoubu - **it is all right

Disclaimer: I do not own love… though it owns me…

x

"I won't take no prisoners - won't spare no lives!

Nobody's putting up a fight!

I got my fill; I'm gonna take you to hell;

I'm gonna get ya - Satan get ya…"

_Hell's Bells_ - AC/DC

x

Chapter 20: That Familiar Feeling

The warehouse was dank, musty, with the scent of wet wood and rusty metal. The concrete floor was layered with gritty salt from ocean spray and years of dirt from holding cargo. Moonlight half illuminated the quiet interior from high windows, casting a silver glow upon wooden crates and corroded chains on pulleys. The wide space inside was mostly empty, the greatest activity of objects happening in clusters against the perimeter. Nothing moved within. No sound was apparent. Wary, Kenshin stepped forward, senses sharp.

Fist tight around the sheath of his katana, amber irises swept across the width of the building, searching neurotically for any sign of Kaoru or her assailant. Seeing nothing within the immediate vicinity, he moved further in, his breathing slow as he stretched out his other senses for an indication that he was even in the right place. Nerves strummed with an anger so potent it threatened to tear him to shreds, his mind was forced to shut it down, shoving aside all emotions that accompanied it. Thoughts blank and his being thoroughly centered, the cold depths of his eyes spoke of the control he held over himself. A control that spoke of only one end for his enemy. The same end that countless numbers before him had suffered. In a battle such as this one, Himura Battosai had no room for mercy.

Ki stretched uniformly among the debris, a small flicker of life caught his attention, his head swiveling around to follow the direction with his eyes. Only boxes filled his view and he slid cautiously toward the pile, aware of the possibility of traps. The closer he came to the pulse, however, the more he could identify Kaoru's exceptional feel, her personal energy. Exhaustion and pain were clouding its normal flare, though, and red eyebrows flattened in response.

Nearer to the opposite side of the warehouse, Kenshin found himself able to see quite clearly, the high windows here placed in the direct line of moonlight, flooding the floor with a glowing radiance. Throwing his eyes about quickly to search for any other presence, he caught a flash of skin and froze at the sight before him.

Arms held high above her bowed head, Kaoru's wrists were shackled to a thick log of chain, its length disappearing into the dark reaches of the loft. Still dressed in her work blouse and long skirt, her knees were bent beneath her, bracing her weight on her shins even as she was slumped forward. Loose hair tangled around her shoulders, hanging raggedly down her back to catch on the torn tin behind her, and below that…

The definite smell of blood filled his nostrils, and in the face of her possible injuries, he jumped towards her, bending down close to inspect her more carefully. But even as he reached for her, curious of her state of mind and body, he suddenly wished that he hadn't… for the front of her skirt was drenched in blood. Sucking the once light green material to her thighs, the thick stickiness stained her dress from nearly the knees to her waist.

Hands shaking, the muscles in his face twitched, the wave of fierce emotions he had blocked out breaking free and catching him off guard. Leaning into her, he dug his fingers into the hair at the base of her neck, his forehead bracing against hers as his eyes clenched shut. This could not be happening. Not now. _Not ever._ Growling in the back of his throat, the rage that he had fought against in favor of reason won his mindset, blackening out all other notions with a fierce, triumphant squeeze. No mercy, indeed.

"I see you found my sweet little pet." Smooth and nonchalant, the voice spoke up from behind him, light laughter following close at the heels of his statement. "She is quite entertaining. I only hope she wakes up again soon, I was having so much fun with her."

Kenshin rose slowly, his fingers carefully untwining themselves from Kaoru's hair and moving to the weapon at his waist. Turning to meet the man for the first time, he glared across the clearing into a pair of eyes he had seen countless times before on many different men. The type of eyes that killed, just for the killing's sake.

"I see you have chosen the path of death."

Another chuckle of laughter and the man stepped forward, into the light. "Haven't you, Battosai?"

A growl pulled at his vocal cords. "I gave up that path years ago."

"Did you?" A wicked smile bent his lips, bedraggled hair hanging into those twisted eyes, and he shook his head sadly. "Surely you know that there are no exits off of that path. Only death can free you of it." Walking at a sedate pace, his dark grey kimono ruffled with the movement of his legs, one hand resting comfortably on the hilt of his own katana and wakazashi, the other glowed with the cherry of a cigarette.

"Even in death you will not be free. Hell is sure to claim you." Circling to the side, amber eyes stayed with the figure of the man, anger hardening them to a molten gold.

"No doubt." An amused smirk crinkled his face, and he lifted the cigarette to his mouth, blowing out a final puff of smoke before he threw it to the ground. "And I suppose you think you are going somewhere different?"

"…No. I'm sure I will be greeted there by many…" Tossing his eyes back to the girl by the wall, he swallowed painfully, his eyes locking back to the other with a snap. "You will arrive first, I think."

Drawing his blade eagerly, the man grinned in excitement. "Shall we begin then?"

Kenshin answered with the sharp scrape of his own blade sliding against its sheath, light catching the bright steel and flashing in one quick burst of multicolor. The sakabato was beautiful still, untouched by taint and brilliantly clean; its master lovingly keeping its wellbeing in the forefront of his thoughts. Kaoru had given this weapon to him, its meaning was well known. To give life, not death. But under such circumstances, under such influence, would it still be by the end of the night?

A moment of sadness pressed in on Kenshin's heart, a brief flare of regret. Could he break something of its innocence with his own anger and hatred? Amber irises fled from the man across from him to the girl by the wall, her broken body and spirit slumped in defeat and kneeling in her own blood. Anguish of another sort swelled and pulsated in his chest, tears of rage shivering in his throat. On that night, this man had broken Kaoru of her innocence, and without her his sakabato meant nothing to him. For the blasphemy that had occurred in his absence, because of his own inattentiveness, it did not matter what happened to all else in this world of his, he would make this man pay for her suffering.

Silent and sleek, he lifted the length of his long sword and attacked.

Sparks spit and hissed, flickering a dull radiance across the faces of the two samurai. Up. Down. Left. Right. Arcs of dazzling illumination flashing through the air in wide sweeps, the clash of metal a sharp ring in the ear. The sakabato was wielded wonderfully, lashing out with hardy dislike as the blood stained steel of the other was met at every advance. The taste was bitter, however, and Kenshin could not keep the curl of his lip as he could almost smell the lives this murderer had taken.

Even his ki was drenched in the feel. Dark; heavy; musty even like the old building that surrounded them. His ki was like the oppressiveness of a hot and humid afternoon and at the same time chilled him like the bite of dry winter wind; making the sweat pool and puddle in every crevice even as it soaked him in its clammy clutches. No wonder his poor Kaoru's ki was weak and powerless. In this man's presence, hope seemed a distant memory, killing the need to move let alone try to escape. She was probably so shell-shocked by the very presence of such a demon in this world that she had been unable to defend herself as needed.

And to how many others had he done such horrors? How many times had his blade killed without mercy and took without shame? How many lives looked into this man's eyes and froze, too afraid to move, too afraid to breathe? Like a mouse trapped in the fierce gaze of a hawk, the innocents of this world could not handle the knowledge that they were about to be prey. They were not equipped to fight back against such an enemy. It needed to end, and Kenshin could feel the pressure weighing down on him.

And yet… he hesitated. Could he take another life? Could he kill again? After all that he had been through, after everything he had promised, vowed, to never do again. All of his struggle. All of his pain and suffering. For what? Could he now leave it behind and plow down that path anew? Could he disgrace himself and his weapon so easily?

Sidestepping a thrust, he lashed out with a quick counterattack, throwing his enemy off guard. Advancing, he swung high, then turned his heel and swept back down. Dark eyes laughed at him, blocking his moves with mocking arrogance.

"Is this the best you can do? Is this all the skill of the legendary Hitokiri Battosai?"

Kenshin growled, lunging forward, his feet gliding over the concrete floor.

"You'll have to do better if you want to kill me."

"I've killed many men just like you." Shooting across the room, he clashed with this other man, their blades locked together as they struggled to overpower the other.

"No, Battosai, not like me, and not with a sword like that." A wide, sick smile spread across his face, laughter shaking his ribs. "But I've killed many like you." Straightening lazily when Kenshin broke away, he lifted his own katana to rest on his shoulders. "Righteous bastards who think their cause noble and worthy of dying for. Just like my comrades, you look down on my kind. You think me sick for taking joy in my work." Kenshin's face tightened, and the man tilted his head knowingly.

"But the truth is, they were all just like me, and so are you, Battosai." Bringing his sword down hard, the man grinned at the sound of scraping metal. "You cannot deny the rush of heady power you feel when you swing your sword. Knowing that in your hands you hold the authority over life like that of a god." Another swing, and Kenshin was forced to retreat. "You control your opponent's life. You decide whether he lives or whether he dies. It is not wrong of me to take pleasure in the gift I have been given. _You _are in the wrong for not taking pleasure in your own power, Battosai." He lifted a finger and pointed it accusingly at the amber-eyed man across from him, his voice strengthening and echoing off the walls.

Kenshin's irises contracted in sudden insight, his eyebrows furrowing. "I know you." When white teeth bared themselves once again to his sight, Kenshin swallowed over the bile that had collected in his throat. "Kurogasa. Also known as Udo Jin-e."

"Ah, so you have heard of me. I was beginning to think I would have to make my reputation a bit bigger. Of course, all pale in comparison to yours."

"I did not kill my own comrades in battle, simply because they were there for the killing."

"But you did take many others."

"I am nothing like you, Kurogasa." Statement made in harried denial, Kenshin shook at the implication.

"Are you so very certain?" Taking the initiative, Jin-e lunged, playing off of Kenshin's moves with swift accuracy, watching him read his own actions with amusement. Doubling back at a precise swipe, he switched his grip and connected, his eyes brightening at the deep crush of flesh under the tip of his sword. Watching the Battosai stumble backwards, his hand clutching the dripping wound in his shoulder, he shook his head, almost sadly. "You are beginning to bore me, Battosai. Maybe I should go back to playing with the girl." Amber eyes snapped up, and Jin-e grinned.

"She was very sweet, your little woman. Almost like cherry blossoms. And she smells wonderful." Shouldering his weapon once again, he sucked in a breath through his nose and sighed, the scent of blood heavy on the breeze. "Her skin is so soft and her hair is rich. But I don't need to tell you these things. I'm sure you have already found this all out for yourself." When hard irises wavered, a touch of regret piercing his emotions, Kurogasa scoffed. "You mean to tell me you haven't?" Surprised laughter doubled him over, and he wiped at his eye. "No wonder she screamed for you. But then, I think that was my favorite part." His tongue curled from out of his mouth, savoring a taste only he could recall. "And I guess that would explain why there was so much blood."

Kenshin's emotions froze; his heart stopped; and in the midst of the darkness he heard Jin-e's words echo. _"…she screamed for you."_ Time stilled and he saw those eyes, blue and steady; no tears; no fear; no worry. They were back at that house, with the lightning tearing up the sky and the blood heavy in the air. And in the middle of such madness, she stood tall and strong and independent of the world, and… _"…she screamed for you."_ A black figure pressed out of the shadows, dancing with a man twice her size. Sword drawn, eyes flat, spirit calm and… _"…she screamed for you."_

Out of all the countless times she could have cried out for help, out of all the situations he would have jumped to her aid and taken her away from the world and kept her hidden from sight… why now? Why this time was he not there? Why this one time did he not think clearly enough to keep her out of harms way? _Why does she always get hurt because of me?_

Tawny eyes snapped open, and he stood slowly, his irises lifting to meet the other's almost lazily. Shifting his stance, he cocked his head to the side arrogantly, and his lips parted, his breathing returned to a sedate pace. He was calm, but the air around him was tense, expectant, dominant; brushing aside Kurogasa's ki with an indolent hand. A peaceful madness radiated from his eyes, their solid, unwavering gaze speaking of far worse times to come. Forgetting his wound completely, Kenshin took a deep, lethargic breath and threw Jin-e off with a smile.

"If you would permit me, I would entertain you a bit more."

And he was gone. Not even the stir of wind from his passing suggesting where his body had disappeared to. Taken aback, Jin-e stumbled and grunted when the blunt side of his attacker's sword slammed headlong into his face. Tendons stretching and muscles tightening, he felt his head yank backwards until he fell to the ground, the bones in his nose thoroughly crushed and his shoulders aching dully from the strain on his neck. Stunned, he blinked up at the dark ceiling above him, his mind working through the moments that had brought him there. Then he laughed.

"I did not even see your body follow through with the attack!" Sitting up he watched the Battosai flick the small amount of blood from his sword. "That was truly Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu!" Wiping the wetness from his nose, he looked at it with a sick form of glee. "I am finally facing the Hitokiri Battosai!"

Amber eyes stared him down, watching him stand with less emotion in his thoughts than the dirt had for the wind that stirred it. "Enough talk. Hurry up so that I may kill you."

x

Kaoru groaned and mentally slapped at the insistent pressure of need that wished for her to awaken. She wanted to sleep. Needed to rest. She hurt everywhere, and her flesh felt like it was aflame. Shivering even as she burned from the inside, she breathed deep and caught the scent of blood, old and new. Coughing as it lodged into her throat, she clenched her closed lids tighter and rolled her heavy head into her arm.

A sharp stab of pain shot through her wrists and she whimpered, the unforgiving iron shackles tearing a new hunk of skin away from the fragile muscle and bone. Sound and feel both kicking back the wave of unconsciousness from her tired brain, she blinked open crusted eyes and stared incomprehensibly at her lap.

Aware of herself in full, her lips quivered as her stomach cramped, wrenching at her muscles with selfish masochism. There was blood all over her skirt, and she could feel more, crusted between her thighs, rubbing against one another and causing new pain. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she steadied herself and tried to move. But her legs refused. They buzzed with loss of circulation and piercing shots of agony ran up her spine each time she tried. Frustrated with her body's lack of response, she slumped back forward, already tired from such little activity.

_What happened? How long have I been here?_

She remembered the man. Udo Jin-e was what he called himself. He had snuck up on her as she had walked through the small park on her way back home. A part of her knew that she should have felt his ki long before he had touched her, but another part knew that in the state she had been in, she hardly could have noticed a train go by. With her mind and body unable to focus on anything other than the depressing knowledge that Kenshin had been angry with her, she was lucky she had been walking straight. On top of that, her brain had been flushed with a pain shrouded indolence as her fever had spiked and her stomach had cramped harder. Sickness and depression were a dangerous combination, as she had learned on that day.

Kaoru's next memory was more or less flashes of words and light, muffled sounds that shook her narrowed world and wanted her to expand its borders to further than the prison of her own mind. When Kenshin's name had finally been introduced into that mix, her thoughts had snapped together like legos forming a battle cruiser. And oh how that man had loved her reaction.

_Kenshin. I'm sorry._

Indigo irises, darkened in sadness, slid shut, a wetness building along the layer of thick lashes and clumping them together. _I am always bringing you these problems. I am always the reason why you are getting hurt. I am nothing but a burden to you. No matter how hard I try to be strong._

A buzz she hadn't realized clouded her ears abruptly lifted with the harsh scream of a battle cry, the sting of metal clashing together ringing in her eardrums. Startled, she lifted her head and stared in shock at the fight that was occurring in front of her.

The sight of Kenshin made her heart thunder recklessly in hope, his figure flying just as freely through the moves of Hiten as she remembered he could. He was relentless; magnificent; beautiful in his dance of the sword and her fingers fisted in a swell of happiness. Overjoyed by his very presence, even under such circumstances, the smile melted off her face when she found herself with a perfect view of his eyes, and the familiar feeling behind them.

_No. Kenshin… he's…_

How could she have forgotten?

Kenshin had never been angry with her. His anger was never so… subtle. His anger was never so lenient and practically kind. No, his anger… was heartless. Terrifying. Relentless. And it was never, _never_, at her, but there was never any doubt that it could be about her. This time she was sure that Kenshin was angry, and it _was _because of her. Because of…

Sapphire eyes looked down quickly and her heart stopped in despair, her eyebrows slamming together in insight and overwhelming anguish. _No… he knew what he was doing. He knew the entire time that… that I am Kenshin's greatest weakness. And to hurt me is to hurt him._

"I'm glad you have gotten over your silly desire not to kill me, Battosai! It has made this fight all the more fun!"

Struggling to keep her head up, she trembled at the stone expression on Kenshin's face, the grin of approval on Kurogasa's.

"Now all you need to do is flip the blade on that odd sword of yours and we can finish this."

"Do not worry." Kaoru sucked in a breath at the deep baritone of his voice, the harsh sound biting of his vocal cords. "I said I would kill you." Steady hands brought sword and sheath back together, and Kaoru looked on desperately as he slid into the stance of the battojutsu. "And it will be soon."

"What a challenge." Throwing aside his sheath, Jin-e lifted his sword high above his head, and grinned insanely at the short red-head he faced. "Do not let me down, Battosai."

In two blinks of her eyes it was over, and Kaoru had barely enough time to take a breath and try to scream before she realized that it was too late, and her voice would not respond. The sickening sound of crunching bone split the air and Kaoru watched as the steel length of Kenshin's sheath, not sword, followed through with Jin-e's limp arm in tow.

Gasping, Kurogasa kneeled before his opponent in defeat and laughed airily. "A double-battojutsu. How very clever of you, Battosai."

"You should have realized before you attacked me that the very name Battosai comes from the fact that I have mastered everything there is to know about battojutsu. The sakabato was not made for such quick speed attacks, and I more than you know the extent of my own weapon." Standing over him, looking down with the disdain and anger that had been missing throughout their fight, Kenshin lifted his long sword and meaningfully turned the blade. Light flashed off the surface, running down the dangerously sharp edge almost fearfully. "Now prepare yourself, Udo Jin-e, for the hell you wish to live in."

Struggling, Kaoru fought against her dry throat and the raspy sounds that escaped her, trying to form them into something intelligible. Desperation widened her eyes, fear shook her muscles, and a miserable acknowledgement that if Kenshin followed through with his threat he would never be the same soaked her thoughts.

"Yes. Let me join the countless lives you have taken. Let me taste the sweet death of the Battosai's blade."

_Just shut up!_ Screaming and crying, she latched onto the chain shackling her wrists, heaving with all of her will to force herself upright. Her knees shook and knocked, her biceps trembled and ached, and her feet were almost her undoing. Fighting a battle against the pain, she gasped at the next statement her Kenshin made.

"Then die."

Light burned her eye, blinding her for one terrifying moment, moonlight glinting off of the sakabato… begging her, it seemed, to stay this madness. Grunting, she yanked herself to her feet and screamed.

"DA-ME!"

Kenshin froze, his head whipping around to stare at the figure of Kaoru standing unsteadily next to the wall. Her arms were pulled tight against the chain that confined her, her feet braced against the crevice of wall and floor, and her eyes begged him to stop.

"Onegai." Breathlessly she pleaded with him to do what she asked, tears of fear, anxiety, and exhaustion coursing down her cheeks. Her knees buckled nauseatingly and her stomach rolled and churned, the heat permeating her skin causing cold sweat to drip down her temples. "Onegai… shimasu."

"What's wrong, Battosai? I am at your mercy. Kill me now."

Amber eyes shot back to the man at his feet, and they narrowed in remembrance. _"…she screamed for you." And you were not there. He took her innocence. Beat her. Tortured her. Took what he had no right to take. Touched what he had no right to touch. She is mine, and mine alone. And you will die for your actions!_ Fingers clenched in renewed rage, muscles contracting to lift the sword again.

"Please, Kenshin." Watery and full of childlike longing, her voice cut through his thoughts; her ki tugging at him to come back to her and leave this pitiful man alone. She needed him now, not this manic samurai that could not find a place in this new era of peace. But he had a place, and it was with her. "Please. I want to go home. Just take me home, Kenshin."

Body finally unable to react to her command, she collapsed back against the wall, her limbs hinging however possible and causing her to slump back into her original state. Breathing heavily, she fought against the cries of her body and the burning of her mind, the blood flowing through her veins like fire and ice. Rapid footsteps slapped against the concrete floor and there was a sudden loud clang of noise before she was infolded in wiry arms, his hold gentle.

"Kaoru…" His fingers shook as they ran over her hair and down her back, clenching and unclenching in the material of her blouse, his own breath unsteady as he tucked his nose next to her ear. "Gomen nasai."

"Kenshin…" Smiling weakly, she could not protest as he braced most of her weight against him, nor did she think she would have anyway. His warmth was drugging her mind, counteracting her own flaming skin with natural heat and coaxing her to fall back asleep. Too soon, though, he was pulling back, his probing fingers touching the raw tissue at her wrists and the iron metal of the shackles.

"Be still."

Nodding in vague understanding, she relaxed back into the now almost natural position, her loose fingers curled in on themselves as she hung by the chain keeping her upright. A quick ring of sound ripped through the air, and Kaoru was thankful that she was too tired to jump. The next second her figure was slumping fully onto the ground, her free wrists throbbing at the reintroduction of blood flow. Carefully, she was lifted into Kenshin's lap and his hands continued their search of her body, studiously staying away from the bloody mess at her waist. Unable to argue, she rested heavily against his chest, her mind sighing in relief when he found the strap of rope tied tightly around her ankles and released it. Safe and secure within his grasp, she closed her eyes and had almost let herself fall back into unconsciousness when the body she leaned against froze.

"You should think about what you are doing, Jin-e, before you attack me. You have only your left arm and wakazashi left to defend yourself. The fight will be over before you move."

Laughter rang out and Kaoru forced her eyes back open, darting them anxiously up to Kenshin's face and shaking her head as he lifted her back out of his lap. Face tightening at her denial, he looked quickly away to the sakabato lying next to him, sweeping its length up and standing fluidly.

"Do not worry, Battosai. I am merely going to clean up the mess I have made."

Turning in anticipation of an attack, Kenshin stared in wide-eyed horror as the man ran his own short sword through his lung. Sighing in apparent contentment, Jin-e's smile widened before he fell back onto the floor. "Ah… such a sweet… feeling." His laughter huffed airily this time as his dark eyes connected with the amber of Kenshin's, amusement plain on his features. "Do not look at me like that. I liked it much better when you were angry." A harsh cough brought blood to his lips, and Jin-e clenched his teeth against the pain. "I have a message for you, Battosai. From… the Lord Shishio. He begs you to take… more care… or your belongings… or they might… be… taken from you." Another sadistic grin lit his features, and Jin-e licked his lips one last time. "Just as I… have taken her once… she may very well be taken… again."

Kenshin balked, his mind racing with the information he had been given. "Shishio… is here? In Japan?" Demanding an answer, he stepped toward the dying man, his voice hardening once again. _And he knows about Kaoru._

"Oh yes… Lord Shishio is here… and he knows… all." Louder coughing assailed him this time, and Kurogasa's face paled with the blood loss. "To beat him, you must… be like that… hitokiri of long ago." Kenshin's face narrowed and his lips parted to deny him, but Jin-e spoke quickly to cut him off. "Do not deny your nature… Battosai. Once a hitokiri… always a hitokiri." A short, dry chuckle gurgled in his throat, and he swallowed. "I will be watching you… from hell, and waiting… for the day to greet you… there."

Staring at the dead body before him, he wondered why he felt no different with the knowledge that he had not killed this one with his own hands. Turning away, a frown pulling at his lips, he looked to Kaoru, her own eyes sad as she gazed at the man lying in his own blood. _She is so soft hearted. Unable to wish him dead even after what was done to her._ Pain returning, he sheathed the long sword in his grip and returned to her side.

He said nothing as he pulled her close to his chest and lifted, her light body a curious weight on his thoughts. Swallowing at the feel of slick and crusted blood on the bottom side of her skirt, he strode determinedly out of the warehouse, finding little comfort in her presence. Because this time… he was afraid that the damage she had undertaken was nothing she would heal from, and he could not bear the thought of his own responsibility in its happening.

Outside, the cool breeze from the ocean washed away the stink and heavy air of the warehouse, a revitalizing freshness that Kaoru would need. And yet she shivered. Frowning, he found a nook out of the direct wind, and settled down with his back to the wall, his arms circling her to share his own warmth. Her skin was hot, aflame with unnatural heat, and he knew she was running a fever. Afraid that she would sicken further, yet unable to think of what else to do, he snuggled her closer to his body, situating her between his legs so that he could brace and shield her back with his thigh and knee.

Strangely she said nothing, her dead weight heavy on his lungs as she hid her face in his hair. Letting out a breath, his frowning eyes furrowed, pondering what was to be done next. To be said next. Everything that he had wanted to tell her, to let her know, seemed almost inconsequential at that moment. Not with the shadow of her capture in the way. Absently lifting a hand to run over her hair, he carefully pushed the tangles away until he found skin, rough fingertips traveling from the bruised puff of a black eye down over her dirty cheek. A hot wetness glided over his calluses, and he knew she either had been or was now crying. Hand fisting and grabbing strands of gritty tresses, he ground his teeth and said nothing, his arm holding her closer and his eyes flat as they stared out over the dock.

Kaoru snuggled further into the comforting embrace of ginger and fire, muddled thoughts floating in acknowledged safety. Kenshin had come for her, like he always did, and she was no longer in any danger of more pain. Not with the anger she was sure she had glimpsed still in his gaze. Swallowing at the remembered scene only minutes before, she trembled harder, her palms flattening against his ribs when both of his arms wrapped around her in response. He had been so angry. So enraged and out of his rational state of normalcy that he had almost killed a man. Almost taken another life when he had said he would not. Almost broken his vow… and quite possibly his entire being. Because of her. Because once again they had used her to get to him.

_Father said that all things have a weakness… and Kenshin's is much too obvious. _

Struggling with her weakened muscles, she slid her hands up his chest and enclosed his neck with her arms, trying to hold herself even closer to his warmth. He allowed it and responded positively to her actions, and she thought absently about how happy that would have made her only the day before. Today, however, she could think of nothing but the danger she had put her beloved in, simply by being who and what she was. Simply because of what she meant to him.

_How can I think, how can I even contemplate the thought that Kenshin never loved me? Even if he cannot acknowledge it, even if he cannot say his feelings aloud, they are still so apparent and clear that those who have only witnessed us together for moments have noticed it. It does not matter if he tells me. Not anymore. It only matters that… because of that love, he is hampered. Because of his love for me… I am a burden. Maybe… maybe our love is too much. Maybe he should have never came back._

Biting her lip, tasting the metallic tang of blood from her broken skin, Kaoru held in her sobs and let her anguish pour forth as liquid from her eyes, keeping her sorrowful realization from her Kenshin. That he was strong was a given. That he had won any and all battles placed before him was well known. But this… this was too much, even for a man such as Himura Kenshin, Hitokiri Battosai. This was something that only she could protect him from.

"Do not worry, Kaoru. You will not be taken from me again."

Stiffening abruptly, wondering at how his thoughts nearly paralleled her own, her tears came faster.

"Kenshin…" Pausing, she took a deep breath, her fingers knotting themselves in his hair. "They… I…" Shaking over the tears in her throat, she worked her Adam's apple against the bile collecting in her esophagus and tried to continue. "Do you think… it would be best if I…?"

"No." His arms tightened further in chastisement, and when she dared to look up, his eyes were hard and full of denial. "I do not think anything would be best but for you to stay right where you are."

"Kenshin..."

"Stop, Kaoru…" His eyes lifted from hers and looked absently towards the loud blare of sirens coming down the dock. "I will hear no more of it."

Thoroughly shut down, Kaoru buried herself back into the crook of his neck, and waited for the police and the questions that were sure to come.

x

Kenshin stood silently next to Kaoru's blanket covered form as she sat in the back of one of the ambulances, Megumi's professional figure wrapping Kaoru's bruised and raw skin with soft gauze and soothing ointment. Misao was leaning against the corner of the truck, half of her hidden behind the wide metal door as her sadly dipped eyes looked blindly at the blood on Kaoru's once green skirt. Yahiko looked slightly lost, his mouth frowning and his fists clenched in a bid to show his ability to stand on his own. But his black eyes were blank, and Kenshin knew that he had recognized the meaning behind Kaoru's state as well. Sano was the only one not seemingly paralyzed by the knowledge, his mahogany irises narrowed and angry, his voice snapping at any of the officers or paramedics that wandered too close.

Letting his eyelids slide closed, Kenshin stared into the darkness of his mind, unwilling to let himself think about Kaoru's injuries. In all actuality, she was better off this time around than she had been the last time she was taken away from him. There would be no need for surgery, no fear of her never waking up from the induced coma, no sleepless nights sitting beside her broken figure. No, this time, the worry would be for her state of mind. It seemed the shock had not worn off yet, letting her think about her predicament, but she was already reasoning about her relationship with him. Already trying to pull herself away… to keep him safe, or so he imagined. Or was there something more? Did she think herself too tainted now? Did she think he would be sickened? Angered by the thought, his hands fisted, and he found that her fingers had twined with his.

Dull yellow irises parted and looked to her through red lashes, her own tired indigo gazing up at him in question. Her fingers pulled at him, a wish for him to come closer, and he adjusted his position so that she could lean her head against his left shoulder. Grinding his teeth against the spear of pain that abruptly lanced through him, he ignored the wave of nausea that rose in his stomach and concentrated instead on the head of dark hair that shifted across his chest. Beneath his long-sleeved shirt, he could feel the trail of blood flow down his arm, hot and thick. Before he could protest, Kaoru was pulling away, her hand disentangling from his to lift to her cheek. A stain of bright new red covered half of her face, coming away with her fingers when she rubbed at the slick, hot liquid. It was only then did she realize he had been injured as well.

"Kenshin, you're hurt." Swiftly her hands tugged at his arm, her eyes turning to Megumi, pleading with her to treat him now.

"I'm fine, Kaoru. You need to be looked after first."

"But you're bleeding." Her hands nudged at his chest, wanting him to sit down too, before automatically slipping under the hem of his shirt and lifting the material away from his torso, wanting to see. A glimpse of blood trickling down his ribs was all she was rewarded with before he stopped her, his eyes serious and firm.

"It is only a scratch."

"A scratch would not produce so much blood, Ken-san." Megumi, aware that Kenshin's injury was probably worse than anything Kaoru had sustained, crossed her arms and glared into the denying eyes of the ex-hitokiri. "But if you would like to bleed to death then go ahead and keep denying it."

Forcing out an irritated breath through his nose, Kenshin frowned at Megumi's unwavering figure. When he turned to Kaoru, though, her hurt expression told him that she would not like that occurrence one bit. Cursing slightly, he yanked his shirt up over his head and revealed the deep sword wound in his shoulder. Hissing, the sticky mass of blood having glued his shirt to his skin, he felt a new wave of blood spurt forth and grunted when Megumi shoved a wad of gauze against the laceration to stop the bleeding.

"Sano, give me a hand."

Kenshin watched as the larger man stepped closer and placed his hands where the woman needed, holding the gauze tight against his skin while she pulled out a fresh needle and a bottle of medicine to kill the pain. Looking away, he saw the police milling around the doors of the warehouse, the flashes of cameras from inside and heard the chatter of talk as they shared their discoveries. Soon, a gurney was wheeled out, the black outline of a body bag resting on its braces. Once again, slim fingers curled around his, and Kenshin looked down to inspect Kaoru's white-knuckled grip. Lifting his gaze, he studied her face as she too watched the activity of the police officers.

"This will need stitches, Ken-san. I'll need to take you back to the clinic so I can clean it properly. That will also give me the chance to give Kaoru a full check-up."

Eyes still on Kaoru, he held her gaze when it shifted to him. "That sounds like a good idea, Megumi-sensei." Sapphire irises lowered in exhaustion, and he squeezed her hand in reassurance. "I will need to speak with the police chief and then we will leave." Letting them finish the quick bandage on his shoulder, he leaned his forehead into Kaoru's temple briefly. "I promise we will be home soon."

Uramura was directing the operation himself from inside the warehouse, speaking with several of the officers and gesturing at first the chains on the wall where Kaoru had been held and then at the blood stained on the floor where Jin-e had killed himself. Walking to him, pointedly ignoring the others, Kenshin waited as he hurriedly dismissed his inferiors so they could speak in private.

"Himura-san…" Bowing in greeting, he sighed heavily when he rose. "This is quite the wonderful mess. Whereas we have some clue as to why this man would kidnap Kamiya-san, we have no way of knowing if he was working on his own or for an organization. And if so, what kind of organization and why would they be after you and/or Kamiya-san? Or if they are after something more. Are they a danger to the public? Has there been others before that we never knew about? Not to mention, we do not even know who this man is."

"I am not sure about any of the ones before, but the man's name is Udo Jin-e. He was a samurai who fought in the war originally with the Shinsengumi, but because of his thirst for blood and death he killed not only the people that was required, but those he was not supposed to. When he was to be disciplined, he escaped and reappeared as a hitokiri on the side of the patriots." Kenshin lifted a hand to rub at the bridge of his nose, his head pounding at the overpowering smell of blood in the air. "And as to who he works for… It seems he was sent after me, by another man, Shishio Makoto. I am not sure what he is after at this point. It could be simple revenge. I was contracted by the government nine years ago to search him out and bring him back. It seemed he had become a threat to their peace and wanted him under their thumb. Unfortunately I was not able to catch him."

Urumura sighed again, and wiped a hand over his brow. "Shishio Makoto. Che." Shaking his head, he turned a smile on Kenshin. "I am glad to see that you and Kamiya-san are ok. There was no serious injuries I hope?"

Frown deepening, Kenshin looked away. "No. But her doctor would like to check her over tonight. If you have any questions for her, I would like to request you save them for tomorrow or later in the week. Right now she needs rest."

"Understandable." Nodding his head, Urumura stepped forward to walk him back outside. "If you would like…" Pausing he chanced a glance to the shorter man pacing along beside him. "I could set up a patrol around her house."

Already shaking his head in negation, Kenshin stopped when they were just outside, his eyes finding Kaoru before looking back to the police chief. "No. She would find that insulting. Besides, this will not happen again."

Searching the intent in amber irises, Urumura nodded again. After everything that had happened, and what he could guess had happened, he doubted this man would let anyone come near the girl. Ever. "Very well. I bid you a good evening, Himura-san."

x

After Kenshin's wound was taken care of, his shirt thrown away and another one acquired, the men were pushed out into the waiting room while Megumi and Misao took care of Kaoru. Unable to rest after the events of the evening and the knowledge of the pain Kaoru had undergone because of him, Kenshin stood near the door, unconsciously taking up a defensive position to protect that which was most precious to him from further harm. Yahiko sat in one of the cushioned chairs, his brow furrowed and his lips thin. Dark eyes were contemplative as he looked at his hands, his gaze darting from the ex-hitokiri by the door to the room his sensei was enclosed in. Saddened that the boy was unsure of the events, Kenshin looked away to the other man leaning against the wall opposite.

Sano was unabashedly staring him down, brown eyes dark and set in their glare. Knowing what was to come next, Kenshin braced himself for the man's anger, hoping his own would not rise too quickly to the surface. What he was not prepared for was his abrupt laughter.

Shaking his head, Sano readjusted his position, his lungs huffing in amusement. "You know, before you showed up, there was this man parading around Tokyo, assuming the title of Battosai. Killing people left and right, innocent or otherwise. Most days I actually hoped I would meet this man on the street so I could kick his ass myself. Kaoru on the other hand, told me straight up that she knew the man was a fake. She said, the real Battosai would not be abusing his strength. The real Battosai was an honorable man, she said, and had only killed for the sake of the war. I thought she was just being soft-hearted like always. Believing the best of people. I never in my wildest dreams thought she had actually met the Hitokiri Battosai."

"Maybe she _was _being soft-hearted."

"Hey, I know what it's like to be faced with the man that has abused someone precious to you. I know how hard it is not to break their neck just for the satisfaction of it. Don't tell me you're not what she makes you out to be. Anyone with less strength of will would have killed the guy where he stood. Especially someone as skilled as you."

Kenshin's eyes lowered sadly, well aware of the fact that he had almost done just that, and if it had not been for Kaoru's interference, he would have sullied the pure blade of his sakabato.

"What I don't understand, is how can Kaoru have known you longer than me when she never talked about you? Not once. We became friends when she was ten, for Kami's sake. Just how the hell did you meet Kaoru anyway?"

A flash of fear jerked at his features, remembering exactly the true aspects of their first meeting, and it took all of his training not to take a revealing breath. Shrugging his shoulders, Kenshin let the lie spill from his lips another time. "Kaoru is the illegitimate daughter of my master, Hiko Seijuro. I have known her for most of her life." Seeing the lift of Sano's dark brow, Kenshin elaborated slightly. "She was the only one… who actually enjoyed my presence. And she has always had to pay for that proximity to me. That is why I thought it best for her not to speak of her connection with me to anyone."

"Has this happened before?"

"Yes. Once. And I swore I would never live to see the day that happened again, but…

"But you cannot always be there to protect her from everything." Megumi walked back into the room, a smiling Misao in tow. "And her injuries were much worse then than they are now."

"How would you know that?" Sano looked to Megumi suspiciously, his dark eyes narrowed in confusion.

"How could I ever forget it is the better question, Sanosuke? The amount of time and energy it took my parents to fix that poor girl's shoulder was horrendous. They were in surgery for a good six hours, and what was worse they were doing this in the dead of night." Smiling beautifully, Megumi shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm sure it was worth the effort however. If the surgery had not been undergone, the girl would never have been able to lift a bokken again. And we were assured by a very insistent red-head that this fact would have killed her." This time she laughed. "Not that this wasn't the only thing we were assured of." Smirking at Kenshin, she watched his lips tilt slightly upward in remembrance.

"Your parents' help was greatly appreciated, Megumi-dono. As is yours. It seems I am in your family's debt a second time. Though by now I do not think any other doctor but a Takani will suffice for Kaoru's care."

"Wait… you two already knew one another?" Sano let his head fall back and bang against the wooden wall behind him. "My God, the next thing I'm going to hear is Yahiko telling us we all knew one another in a previous life." Leveling a glare as dark eyes looked up curiously at his name, Sano growled in the back of his throat. "Don't you dare, boy."

"Don't be angry, baka. It was not my place to point out who Kenshin was by stating that I had met him before. Because then you would have had questions as to how and why and that would have led to more information than was your right to know." Glaring as he pursed his lips, the argument was broken up when Misao cleared her throat.

"Um, don't any of you want to know how Kaoru is doing?"

Every pair of eyes in the room swung to the girl, the guys' expectant, yet worried, slightly fearful of what was to be said. Only Megumi's was amused at Misao's eagerness to share.

"Hai, Misao-dono. How is Kaoru doing?" Kenshin's voice was strained, his violet eyes sad and wavering between determination and anxiety.

"Well," Brushing an imaginary piece of lint from her shoulder, Megumi spoke up first, her voice very conversational and slightly condescending. "as you already know, she has sustained rope burn on her ankles and severe tissue breakage on both her wrists, probably a result of a struggle. There are minor scrapes and burns on her knees and shins, a small cut on her lip and one black eye. These will heal mostly within the week and are inconsequential. What will take a little more time and care is the damage done to her thighs." Kenshin's eyes narrowed, the immediate fall into anger at the cause mixing with confusion. Why would her thighs be damaged if she had been raped? Surely only some bruises would be there…

"The twin cuts were no doubt from a sharp blade. They are very clean, and not deep, though deep enough to keep the blood flowing." When all three men relaxed in surprise, Megumi smiled, yet continued. "They will not need stitches, but I will proscribe some painkillers to help the discomfort they are sure to cause."

"But I thought…"

"Yes, I'm sure will all thought the same thing. Which, I'm guessing, is exactly what the man wanted. To make you angry."

"But she didn't… why didn't she say anything?"

"And why should she have? She knew, and it wasn't the first thing on her mind to assume we had assumed the worst." Dark hair was flicked back behind a slim shoulder. "And to guess as to why she wouldn't tell us back at the warehouse about her injuries, I would have to say she was embarrassed."

Misao giggled at this point, her whole attitude drastically revised after the discovery that her best friend had not suffered the worst of fates. "Kaoru's courses started today."

"Her what?" Sano, frustrated with the whole situation, yet relieved that Kaoru seemed to be unmolested, snapped at the weasel when both the women continued to be coy.

"Her menstrual cycle, dimwit. And because she was chained to a wall for most of the day there was no way for her to take care of the problem when it hit. So obviously…"

"Oh… OH!" Sano winced and glanced at Kenshin, his own expression slightly bemused.

A soft sigh escaped Kenshin's lungs, and he closed his eyes in relief. So the worst had not happened, and there was no longer any need to worry about Kaoru and the aftereffects of a mangled conscious. Thankful for this, he stepped forward, suddenly eager to see her. "Where is she now? Is she ready to leave?"

"Right now she is taking a shower. As soon as she is finished and her wounds rewrapped, she will be ready to go home. She will need plenty of bed rest tomorrow, and she will need to be kept warm. On top of her menstrual cramps she is also running a high fever and that dank warehouse did nothing to help her. Knowing she must be miserable I gave her a sedative. It should be kicking in sometime soon, and help her sleep."

"Arigato, Megumi-sensei."

Short minutes later, Kaoru finished with her shower, the two other women leaving the guys to help her dress her wounds and her body. When that was done, Kenshin was finally allowed to see her, his quick steps bringing him down the hall.

In the examining room, Kaoru was curled up in a half ball on a paper-covered bed, her dirty work clothes replaced with purple scrubs and a light blanket wrapped around her body. Eyelids were fluttering in exhaustion, an unwillingness to let it take her completely made known when she abruptly jerked her head to keep herself awake. When glazed indigo irises found him, a small smile quivered her mouth upwards and her lips moved to whisper his name. Striding to the bed in three short steps, Kenshin knelt next to her, his hand already brushing her clean bangs out of her face.

"Kaoru… how do you feel?"

The smile widened slightly. "Terrible." Another laugh and she was trying to lever herself up to a sitting position. "I imagine this is what road kill feels like."

Giving her a sardonic look, Kenshin braced her weight to help, his arms slipping around her trembling body to lift her against his chest. "The feeling will pass after you have rested." Keeping his voice quiet, he skimmed his lips over her forehead briefly, unable to stop himself from letting the affectionate action show. "Megumi-dono gave you a sedative to help you sleep. You should let it."

Sighing, she snuggled against him, missing his slip-up entirely. "I know, but I wanted… to see… you first." Fighting a yawn, she shook her head to banish the pull of sleep.

"I'm right here, Kaoru." Watching her eyelids finally slide closed as she lost the battle, her breathing slowing to an even pace, Kenshin stopped in the hallway to lean his forehead against hers. "Where I'll always be."

The others were talking quietly when he reentered the waiting room, and he barely caught onto the tone of worry before they noticed him and dropped into silence. Megumi smiled politely when he looked to her, and Misao's grin was just as brilliant as ever, but Yahiko still stared at the floor and Sano's frown was deeper set in his features.

"Are you ready to take Kaoru home?" Misao piped up, her fingers swinging her car keys teasingly, and Kenshin nodded in assent. Yahiko stood, his actions slow like he was unaware of his surroundings, and walked toward the door. Sano opted to stay behind.

"I think I'll keep the fox company while she cleans up." His hand lifted to indicate the room back down the hall, but the seriousness in his voice killed the teasing words he tried to spit out. Aware suddenly of the meaning behind the frown, Kenshin nodded his head again in understanding.

"I think that would be a good idea." Just incase they tried going a different route to get to him. They had exploited Kenshin's weakness by using Kaoru against him, but he had gained many friends because of Kaoru now, and if any of them were to be taken he could not in his right conscience leave them in their hands. Sano would protect Megumi from that happening, and he would insist that Misao stayed at the dojo tonight so that he could protect her as well.

Quickly saying their farewells, Kenshin - with Kaoru in his arms - Yahiko and Misao situated themselves in Misao's car to leave for the dojo. Resting his head against the cushions in the backseat, Kenshin adjusted Kaoru's weight in his lap, closing his eyes to let himself enjoy her presence like he hadn't been able to before.

With her legs stretched out across the seat, her body angled to lean against his chest. The breath coming out of her lips was warm and moist, heating his skin with each exhalation, a slight shiver working down his spine as she inhaled. As tiny brushes of her hair tickled his chin, he smiled tremulously and wondered at how much of a change the feeling of her in his arms had undertaken between then and ten years before. Not only had she grown, but so had the warmth, and amid the conversion something new had been born.

The feeling was overwhelming at times, unavoidable and unpredictable. It would hit him at moments when he was most vulnerable, tackling him from behind in a jolt of exhilaration and leave him in a moment of disorientation. Sometimes… it was almost unbearable. Sometimes it hurt more than anything he had ever experienced before in his life. And that was just with the knowledge that they were still separated. Together… would that be a different story? Or would it hurt even more? Would the joy coalesce into a fountain so large that it would tear him apart? Would his heart burst with it? Spilling the feeling out into his body like a geyser of hot water and air? Or would the feeling be slow to come, yet just as deadly? Like lava making its patient way down over the rocky slopes to the ocean below, steadily spreading its tiny island outward?

A ghost of a smile twitched at the corner of his lips and he held in a chuckle. Kaoru? Be patient? Not when she knew that what she wanted was just within her reach to take. And if it that something did not come to her… then she went to it, and she would coax it along. Patiently? Maybe. But with a bounce and a skip that beckoned for it to hurry.

Rotating his head until his cheekbone rested on the crown of her skull, Kenshin breathed deep, his nose twitching a little irritably when a foreign scent rose to his nostrils. Frowning minimally, he relaxed when he remembered that she had showered at the clinic, therefore they would not have had the soap she normally used. It was the first time she had ever smelled of anything but jasmine in a long time. Resigning himself to the scent, he let his thoughts drift, focusing only on the cocoon he had created around them.

Long minutes later, Kenshin's eyes flickered open as the car slid to a stop, and he found a pair of black irises staring into his. Half-asleep from Kaoru's warmth and the length of the ride, Kenshin jumped as they took on a familiar form. Black eyes, black hair, worry swimming in their depths for her daughter, a girl named Kaoru. Blinking rapidly as his heart race sped, he shook his head and focused back on the boy named Yahiko.

There was still a large amount of confusion disrupting his ki, but Kenshin found that there was also a measure of understanding. _I see now,_ those eyes said. _Though only a little. I do see._ The full understanding would come later, Kenshin knew, but he was glad at that moment that the boy did not hate or fear him for what he was. The insight of their relationship to one another had somehow calmed the boy, and when a smile and a nod were produced from his unusually serious features, Kenshin realized with an awareness of his own that the boy was actually happy with this. A feeling of peace enveloped him, like the wings of an angel, and Kenshin wondered if his vision of that woman from long ago had been a mere vision at all. Maybe… she was happy with the outcome as well.

Serenity was all that could describe the inside of the dojo walls, the quiet chirp of a cricket, a soft rustle of leaves on the trees. Breathing in the clean smell of earth and water from the pond, Kenshin ignored the other two and walked around the side of the house to Kaoru's room, bypassing the front door entirely.

As he struggled with the blankets of her futon and the weight of her sleeping body, Kaoru's eyes parted heavily, a silly smile tugging at her cheeks. "Kenshin…" Shushing her softly, he finally tucked her into the bed, his fingers drifting unconsciously over her skin. "Ken-shin… stay…"

"I'm not going anywhere, Kaoru."

"Ke-shi… sorry 'bou- yes-er-day…" She was mumbling, and even as he caught onto her line of thinking, he still smiled in affection.

"Daijoubu."

Heavy eyelids fluttered closed, and her smile widened weakly. "Ya-tta." Her breathing deepened once again, and he waited a few seconds before moving to sit by the wall. A whine of protest caused him to freeze, and he watched as her lips trembled on a frown, her eyelids twitching angrily. She was fighting sleep again. "Iie… Ke-shi… stay…"

Amazed, yet amused, he laughed airily, but obeyed, laying next to her on top of the blankets and gathering her into his arms. Smiling into her hair, he rubbed a hand comfortingly up and down her back. "Happy now, koishii?" A soft sound of acknowledgement was all he received, and he relaxed only when he knew for a fact that she had drifted back into a deep sleep. Comforted himself that she was safe within his grasp, that no one would be able to take her from him without his prior knowledge, Kenshin allowed his own thoughts to scatter and his mind and body to rest.

x

A/N: Well, now… what did you think? I had other stuff that I was going to continue on with in this chapter, but the more I looked at it, the more I decided that it just didn't fit in with the tone, so it will be in the next. Thank you again for reading… and tell me what you think. Me likes them nice reviews. XP


	21. Heart and Soul

This is going to be long… so you'd better get comfortable. XD

Disclaimer: Yes, even these do not belong to me.

x

"Love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart

Why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it's so hard?

It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving

I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together."

_Better Together_ - Jack Johnson

x

Chapter 21: Heart and Soul

Kaoru woke to a heavy feeling of comfort and warmth, a lingering touch of the sedative soaking her brain in complacency, even as she fought it with the knowledge that something was missing. Blinking open tired eyes, she stared incoherently at the empty side of the futon before her, her hands curled into the sheets as if they were her lover. Sighing as she realized the indent had indeed been made by Kenshin, the coolness of the blankets a testament to how long they had been vacant of a human presence, she let her eyes slide closed once again, her heart as heavy as the rest of her body. Heavy with fear and a touch of hopelessness.

It had happened again. Like he had warned her it could. On that day so many years ago when she had innocently asked to share his name, he had told her a truth she was only now beginning to realize. That because she was his, because she belonged to him, there would be many who would exploit this fact.

Never before had this thought scared her. Never before had she felt any form of worry or anxiety. Because before, she had been a child; one with no doubt in her mind that the man she looked up to and loved could protect her in the way he swore he would. Because before she had been innocent… and last night, that innocence had truly been taken from her childish mind.

Birds chirped in the yard outside her shoji and she sighed again. Kenshin had a weakness. A weakness for a girl who called his master father and looked at him with awe and admiration. A girl who knew nothing else but the claim he had placed on her and the joy she drew from his presence and attention. This weakness would be his undoing, but not because he wasn't strong enough. But because _she_ was not strong enough.

In all her years of training she had struggled to achieve strength, for an ability to protect herself and be a warrior like Kenshin. When she was a child of seven she had begun her initiation to the sword and the ways of Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu. At eight she had turned that training to another use; of discovery and creation. No longer were the thoughts in her mind merely to make herself strong, but to invent a way to win a fight without actually killing one's opponent. This had been for her own peace of mind, but she could not deny that she had done this for Kenshin as well. In all that time, between all those kata, she had lost focus of her own strength and in the process weakened herself.

That she was strong was not the point. Her mastery of the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu was teetering on the edge of perfection. Only a few more steps and she would be complete with her work. Even Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu had few secrets from her and they were all in the actual physical use. But all of this knowledge merely made her stronger than the average, possibly nearing great. What she was lacking was the will to use it. Because up unto that point she had felt no real need to exceed her normal training. Up unto that point, every opponent she had faced was, in comparison to Kenshin, a nobody. But on that day before, she had come to realize, she was wasting talent on mediocrity. She was _letting_ herself become a burden out of laziness. Because she relied on Kenshin too much.

Struggling to banish her spiraling thoughts, Kaoru commanded her muscles to lift her, not surprised when they whined and complained. _Just do as your told. I will not have any of this weakness any longer._ Scolding herself, Kaoru shivered when the cool air brushed over her arms. Seated, she yanked the heavy blanket back up around her shoulders and stared around the room, not quite sure what to do. Her body felt too heavy to move, but she didn't want to just sit in bed for the rest of the day either.

_I was supposed to be at work at nine._ Looking to the clock she ducked her head into her chest at the bright red numbers. Kenshin had let her sleep in until one in the afternoon, though she didn't think she could blame it entirely on him. Megumi's sedative probably had a lot to do with her indisposition. "Great." Muttering to herself sulkily, she pulled on her legs to situate them under her.

Minutes later and she was dozy with the emptiness of her thoughts, her body swaying where she sat, and she missed the soft whoosh of the shoji as it slid open. A light chuckle made her lips curl involuntarily, and she lifted her lashes to look up at Kenshin's amused features.

"What are you doing?" The smile on his lips was soft and affectionate, his words clearly full of laughter with a touch of chastisement. Shrugging her shoulders, she snuggled herself further into the thick comforter, bringing the blanket up to her nose. Sitting down the steaming cup he carried in his hands, Kenshin knelt next to her on the futon, immediately lifting an arm to place the soft skin of his inner wrist against her forehead. "Your fever's lessened. That's good." At this point his hand disappeared to delve into his pocket, fishing out two small bottles of pills. "Megumi prescribed you some antibiotics to prevent infection, and some painkillers. You're going to be pretty out of it for a while, so no major activity." His voice was soothing, and Kaoru hummed in response, her eyes lazy as they searched his face.

Two bright pills were shook out into his palm and he set the bottles aside before turning back to her, his smile widening. "I don't suppose I have to ask how you are feeling. You look about as content as a cat." Two fingers lightly slid across her skin, brushing back a lock of her bangs before dipping down to smooth under her chin. Blinking, Kaoru smiled again, letting him pop the pills into her mouth one at a time and then help her with the hot tea to wash them down.

Finished with that chore, Kaoru expected for him to leave, his hands already cleaning up the little mess on the floor. Instead of picking everything up and walking to the door, however, he turned back to her, his fingers once again lifting to play with her hair. "You smell different today."

Confused as to why that should matter, Kaoru self-consciously fluffed the blankets higher around her at his frown. "I'm sorry? I showered at the clinic last night. I had to use the shampoo and things that Megumi supplied to me." Pursing her lips, she frowned and ducked her head away from his fingers. "Unless you're trying to tell me I stink?"

Lips quirking, Kenshin dropped his now free hand to smooth down her back. "Iie. You don't stink. Just… smell different." The small frown reappeared and Kaoru studied it, completely mystified. "I can't help but not like it." At this point, Kaoru giggled, her teeth pinching her lower lip between them when his eyes narrowed into a mock glare.

"Here." Leaning to the side, her movement strengthening the contact of his hand on the small of her back, she stretched out an arm to point at the dresser behind him. "Hand that bottle to me." There was a pause, a clenching of the material at her back, and she was surprised by the stiffness in the muscles her outstretched arm brushed against. Looking slightly up into his face, she found dark violet eyes trained on hers. "Kenshin?" And the moment was gone, his features once again smiling and harmless.

The small bottle was quickly collected and passed to her, and Kaoru leaned back away from his warmth to sit straight, letting the comforter puddle at her waist. Uncorking the opening, she tipped it over two fingers, letting enough of the liquid touch her skin to wet it, then brushed them over the inside skin of her elbows, since her wrists were otherwise covered. Repeating the process, she applied the perfume to her neck, her temples and lastly patting her hands together to smooth the smell over her hair. Sitting the bottle aside, Kaoru shifted back to Kenshin, his eyes watching her movements curiously, before lifting an arm for his perusal. "There, is that better?"

Jasmine was already wafting to his nostrils, had been from the moment she had opened the small bottle. Somehow more relaxed in the wake of the familiar and well loved scent, he grinned playfully. Wrapping his fingers around her offered forearm, he bypassed the silky skin there for the crook of her jaw. "Mmm, much better."

Butterflies fluttered and danced inside her lower stomach, jerking in a gasp at such bold actions. Dilated sapphire irises stared blindly at the ceiling, glazed with the sudden onslaught of anxiety, hope and pleasure. _Don't move. Don't move. Don't move._ Afraid of doing something wrong, of mistaking his actions for more than just mischievous banter, Kaoru forced her muscles to stay quiet and still. It was hard. So very difficult with the way his nose gently grazed her neck and his breath ghosted down under the collar of her shirt, heating her chest intimately. When he finally pulled away a mixture of relief and disappointment battled within her, furrowing her brow and wrinkling her eyes closed.

"Kaoru." Her name, accompanied by the tender stroke of his fingers on her cheek. It was a wonderful combination of sound and touch, her lips trembling at the absence of that hated honorific. Eyelashes sweeping open slowly, bright sapphire met the soft violet of his and she smiled to return the affectionate expression. "There is something I've been wanting to talk to you about." A look she wasn't sure of curled his features and the smile melted off her face, fearing the worst.

"N-nani?"

The entire width of his palm came to cover her cheek, from the corner of her lips to the line of her hair, his thumb delicately tracing her cheekbone, careful of her black eye. "I don't want you to be afraid." The words only heightening her anxiety, Kaoru bit her lip and nodded her head, trying to hide the tremble of her muscles. He smiled, and Kaoru thanked Kami that he was too preoccupied with his thoughts to notice. "I've had much time to think about this. More so after… I last saw you, nearly three years ago." His other hand came up, cupping her face tenderly, his eyes steady, delving into hers and holding her so that she could barely breath. "So much has happened, and I just wanted to tell you…" Abruptly, his eyes lowered, the tilt of his eyelids sad, and then his chin lifted and he was gazing across at the closed shoji. Even though the furrow remained between his eyebrows, there was no anger or irritation, only resignation as a deep sigh pulled at his lungs. Mere seconds later a knock sounded on the wooden door.

"Kaoru-san, I've come to check on your bandages." Megumi's voice rang through the barrier, and Kenshin's hands slipped from her face.

"We'll talk later." As he stood to answer the door personally, Kaoru let the breath she had been holding flow free. Something different was happening here. Something she found she could rightly be angry at Megumi for interrupting. _But how could she have known that Kenshin was in here talking to me about something important. Stop being so petty. All she's done is help._ Pouting, Kaoru tucked her chin into her chest, pulling the blankets back up around her chilled form.

"And how is our patient doing, Ken-san?" There was no surprise in her voice that he was there.

"Her fever has lessened. And I just gave her the medication you dropped off this morning."

"Ah, I see my sedative did not wear off until just recently then." Satisfied with Kenshin's report, Megumi glided forward and knelt in front of Kaoru's hunched form, her hands lifting to imitate what Kenshin had done when she had first awoken. "Very good, no more danger from the fever. How are your wrists and ankles feeling?" Careful fingers cradled and probed Kaoru's wrists, divesting her of the bandages covering the broken tissue to inspect how they were healing. "I think the swelling's going down." Her smile was warm, happy with the progress already. After inspecting her ankles in much the same fashion, she lifted a hand to her blackened eye. "Your skin is not as puffy as yesterday here. It should yellow out soon enough, though it will be tender for awhile. Now…" Standing, she waved a hand to Kenshin. "I need to check your other injuries, but that would be done much better in the bathroom where I can help clean them if needed. Kenshin, will you carry her please?"

"I can walk."

"Sure you can, honey."

Kaoru pursed her lips and glared at Megumi's back, wondering if there was anything within reach to throw at the woman. Kenshin's chuckle informed her that he had seen the look and read it well. "Now, now, Kaoru, that wouldn't do." Gently his arms lifted her up out of the blankets and against his chest.

"Are you quite sure?" Responding to his teasing, she smiled when he did, resting her head on his shoulder when she was overtaken by a yawn. "I'm not a child anymore." Voice quiet and turning slightly petulant with the darkening thoughts she had awoken with, she lost the jovial mood.

Pausing in the hallway, Kenshin looked down at her, his features serious and clear. "What makes you think you are being treated like a child?"

_Dammit, baka! Now look what you've done._ "I'm sorry, Kenshin. I know both of you are only helping. Don't mind me, ok? I'm just a little grumpy is all." She smiled and forced a laugh, and inwardly sighed when he moved on. Inside the bathroom, he sat her down on a stool where Megumi indicated, and left with a smile and a reassurance that he would have something for her to eat when they were done.

Megumi made quick work of her bandages on this visit, her voice soothing as she talked nearly nonstop throughout the checkup. There was nothing but praise and relief in her voice about the injuries and Kaoru was glad herself that they were apparently healing nicely. She would need to be fully recovered before she could begin her training again, and she was almost impatient for that moment to come.

Distracted by her thoughts, Kaoru sat obediently where she was when Megumi left to fetch Kenshin again. _I need to work on my speed and awareness. Misao will no doubt help me if I ask her to, and Yahiko is always eager to learn, but I really need an opponent that will test me if I want to become stronger. Kenshin is really the only logical choice, since Tousan lives so far away now. I wonder if he would agree to train with me again?_ Catching violet eyes looking her over thoughtfully, Kaoru smiled and lifted her arms in preparation for him to carry her.

Kenshin paused as he stared down at the woman sitting before him. Her lips were smiling but her blue eyes were covering a seriousness, and with her arms lifted as they were, she looked so much like a little girl he used to know. Bracing her weight carefully, he pulled her into his chest and dropped his forehead into her temple. She stiffened in surprise, and he sighed at her reaction.

"I brought your food into the living room so that you can sit on the couch and eat."

"Umm… ok, Kenshin."

"I hope you don't mind having some leftovers."

"That's fine. As long as you made it, I really don't have much to complain about." She smiled happily at him again, and he frowned, wondering what she was trying to hide. _She was acting rather peculiar last night after the fight. Does she really plan on trying to separate herself from me now?_ Stopping abruptly in his tracks, Kenshin directed his firm gaze on her another time, his words slightly angry.

"I told you already, Kaoru, you will not be taken from me again."

Completely dumbfounded, Kaoru blinked back up at him. "What are you talking about?"

"You are trying to hide something behind that smile of yours, and I do not like it."

"So you think… what exactly? That I'm going to leave you or something?" When he continued to look at her with that serious expression, she gave him a sardonic smile and huffed out a breath of amusement. "Are you serious, Kenshin? I've spent most of my life trying to get you to stay in one spot. Now why would I suddenly want to willing walk away when you _are_ here?"

Kenshin was forced to crack a smile at her logic, and she grinned at being able to break his mood. "I'm sorry for assuming, Kaoru, but… I was afraid what you had said last night might be affecting your decision for… the future." Pausing over the last word, he let the fragile hope of his heart finally come to light.

"I only said what I did last night because… I was tired and not truly thinking straight." Sighing she leaned back into him and let her fingers play with his hair. "Reasonably it would not matter where I was, because they already know about me anyway, right?"

"Hai."

"So don't worry about it. I'm not going anywhere. Besides, this is my home… if I tried anything like that I would have to kick you out, not the other way around. And doing that would take a miracle."

"Then what _is_ wrong?"

"It's… nothing serious, ok? I've just been thinking." Her brows furrowed together and her eyes dropped to watch the passing shoji as they continued on to the living room.

"About?"

"Mou, I don't ever remember you being this pushy."

Violet eyes crinkled in amusement, and Kenshin settled her down on one side of the couch. "I don't remember you being this secretive."

Pursing her lips, she shot him a mock glare as she let him wrap her in a blanket to keep warm. "I just thought… that, none of this would have happened if… if I would have been strong enough to protect myself."

"Kaoru… you were sick, and Jin-e was a strong opponent."

"Does that matter? Even if he was strong, why can't I be strong, too?"

Sighing, Kenshin sat next to her on the couch, scooting the small table closer so that she could eat her food. "You are strong, Kaoru."

"But not strong enough." When his eyes closed she could read his exasperation, and strove to make him understand what she was getting at. "Kenshin, I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm stating a fact. One that I want, I need to change." Untangling an arm from the blanket, she reached out a hand and curled her fingers around his. For a moment his gaze lingered on her bandaged wrist, before he met her determined stare. "Kenshin, will you train with me again?"

"Kaoru, you haven't even healed yet. Your body needs rest."

"Rest that it will get. I just need to know that you will help when the time comes."

Lowering his head slightly, he looked again to the fingers twined with his, wondering if either of them had even noticed the collapsing of barriers between them. Loosening his lungs on a sigh, he quirked a smile and shook his head. "There is no doubt that I could use some training of my own." Free hand lifting to cover his injured shoulder, Kenshin fiddled with the texture of bandage beneath his shirt.

Kaoru was grinning when his attention returned to her, and he smiled in amusement at her quick assumptions. Even if they were mostly right. "Good. I knew Yahiko would train with me, but I was afraid this would be too much for him just yet." Eagerly holding her hands out for the tray of food, she settled it firmly on her lap, and picked up her chopsticks. "Oh, and one more thing, Kenshin. Can I please go outside after I eat? I'm sick of being in confined areas. I need some fresh air."

x

Kenshin sat in contentment. With one arm wrapped around Kaoru, her back leaning into him while she dozed, they were positioned in much the same way they used to sit when she was a child napping. Staring fondly down at the head of dark hair pressing into his shoulder, his arm tightened, his eyes closing as he shifted to brace the weight of his skull on her own. She was still so very tired from the previous day's little adventure, and he could not begrudge her the sleep. Only, he wished she would let him take her back to her own room where she would surely be more comfortable. Seated on the hard wooden floor of the engawa, with only a blanket covering her shoulders, was not what he considered appropriate for her condition. Though he had nothing to complain about on his end. He loved being able to hold her again.

The reassuring feel of her body, sitting warm and solid next to his, dispelled the trepidation and impending sense of doom that surrounded his ki. With her safe in his arms the outside world seemed of little consequence. Like it always had with her so near. It was strange, and though he had never truly dissected the sensation before, he wondered at the way protectively cradling her against those who would hurt her made _him_ feel safe. Just as his arms shielded her from pain and suffering, her ki produced the same for him. Circling him like a wall to deflect any blow aimed at his personage. And as the years had passed and he had grown used to the warmth, taking her protection for granted, he had accidentally stumbled upon the emotion waiting patiently behind it.

Love. An unconditional, unquestionable, unrestrained emotion that gave without any need to receive. Coherently he had felt the sensation tickle his heart. Consciously he had blocked out the budding awareness in fear and denial. It had confused a man that had been away for too long, only to come back to a woman grown. Unsure of the reasons that had produced such a notion, he had tossed them all aside in favor of continuing on as if nothing had or would ever change. On that one day, three years before, he had shut down the emotion before it had fully developed. Effectively denying him the opportunity to observe and investigate it with a clear mind.

But drunk… he had felt no inhibitions about acting upon a sentiment that his heart knew to be right. Thoughts centered only on the light brush of her lips and the soft scrap of her calloused fingers on his skin, he had responded. There had been no sense of wrong in his actions. No niggling idea that he was defiling something sacred and pure. His instincts had driven him to those stolen moments and his instincts were rarely incorrect. Standing solid and unwavering within his mind he had seen the reasoning behind the allowance and had not questioned it. Kaoru was his. He was Kaoru's. They belonged together. And behind that the knowledge that he would do anything for her to make her happy. Happiness mostly coincided with what one wanted… and at that moment she had wanted something more substantial from him. A more intimate showing of their mutual love and affection.

It still hurt thinking about how that night had ended. He had never meant to upset her, but at that time, he had not been ready. And in hindsight he could almost thank his master for being the father and kicking him out of the house. Almost. For the days following that night had been horrible, and living away from her acceptance and warmth had been a nightmare. He wouldn't be able to do it a second time, and he only hoped that occurrence would not be required by the events that were sure to follow this kidnapping.

The fact that Shishio was behind it made his heart ache in fear for her. From everything he had heard about the man, he was ruthless and intelligent. He would exploit every weakness he could to gain an advantage over his target. Using Kaoru was a given, and he wouldn't be able to bear having her in harms way a third time.

"_I must become stronger."_

Her thoughts echoed softly through his head and he sighed. _So it would seem, little one. We must both become stronger to overcome this obstacle in our path. We cannot continue on with this life I dream about until it is taken care of._

"Kenshin?"

Lifting his head so she could shift hers, he watched as she turned her eyes to meet his, the blue of her irises deep and nearing black. Sleepily she yawned, one hand lifting to rub at her lashes. "Have I been asleep long?" Words from the past echoed to him, and he grinned at her unconscious mimic.

"No, not long, Kaoru."

"Oh good. I didn't…" Another yawn stilled her breath, and she shook her head to try and rid herself of it. "…want to take up your time. I'm sure you have better things to do than baby-sit me."

Softly his arm pulled her closer and he snuggled his nose behind her ear. "There is nothing better for me."

A blush darkened her face, her skin warming with the flush of blood under its surface, and Kaoru turned her head away to hide the telling sign of pleasure. "Ano…" Stuttering, she shifted her weight and balled her hands in her lap. "Thank you." He spoke nothing in response, and she took a breath in the silence that descended upon them. His actions were… disconcerting, though enjoyable. For even though she had come to the decision over his feelings for her, she never thought he would seriously let them show again. Not after what had happened the last time. Casting about for something to distract herself from the heat ghosting down the nape of her neck, she cleared her throat and brought up a recently interrupted conversation. "So… what were you wanting to talk to me about earlier?"

Kenshin sucked in a deep breath through his nostrils, releasing the air just as slowly. Nerves tangled and knotted inside his gut, pulling at his navel and distracting his thoughts. This was that moment he had longed for. The conversation he had worked toward that entire week. And the setting was perfect. No one would disrupt them this time. Not with Yahiko cleaning the training hall and Misao tagging along with Megumi back to the clinic. And still he struggled with the right thing to say.

"Kaoru… I think, it's time we talked about what happened. Three years ago."

Carefully pushing away, Kaoru twisted so that they were facing one another, her eyes large. "D-do we have to?" Voice barely tangible, she tried to laugh when he smiled softly.

"Yes. There were too many misunderstandings to ignore on that night, Kaoru."

"Hai." Trying to steady her heart she let her head drop slightly, her bangs falling to shade her eyes. "I'm sorry, Kenshin. F-for what I did. I didn't mean… for you to go. But I guess you couldn't stay, after what I said, ne?"

"No. Kaoru, you shouldn't take all of the blame." One hand brought her face back level with his. "That belongs to me. I insisted on treating you like something you were not. You grew up on me too fast, little one, and I… I felt like I had not grown at all." His smile was rueful and she stared at his expression warily. "I was too confused to try and talk to you then, and my bumbling only made the situation worse. I sometimes do not wonder if we were both too young. I know that _I _was too drunk. If I had not been, it would never have happened the way it did." Dark brows furrowing together, Kaoru felt a warning twinge of anger.

"So what you're really saying is that alcohol was your excuse and age was mine?" Tears shimmered on the edges of her lashes, and her lip quivered at the unwavering way his irises studied hers. "Does either of those really matter when it's not your brain that decides such a thing?" He said nothing, and she held in a hiccup at his silence, the sound coming slightly out of her nose. "How can you claim to know better when you still treat me like a chi…?"

Her words died with the press of his lips on hers, and she trembled at the jerk of emotion in her chest. The hands she had forgotten about still framed her face, their slight tug the cause of her current predicament. No other part of their bodies touched, and she let her eyes fall shut at the undemanding kiss. The caress was full of reassurance, and a deep relief, calming her nerves tenderly, and she felt the sigh of his own being echo her liberation. Too soon, he was pulling back, and she half-followed his retreat in a bid to keep the connection.

"You were not listening, Kaoru. I was not making up excuses for either of us." Carefully his fingers swept over her cheekbones, her eyelashes a feathering brush on his skin. "I was confused, and it was not because I was drunk. I think I was more aware of my feelings when I was. It was because I was fighting an emotion that was trying to break free. An emotion I felt I had no right to carry. Not for you."

Taking a deep breath, Kaoru lifted her fingers to circle his wrists, her lungs shuddering. "Because I am too young."

"No, koishii." There was a smile in his voice that softened the endearment, slipping it through her senses like warm sunshine. "Because I thought myself too old." Her lips pursed and he chuckled at her amusement. "I did not think you would be content with someone like me. Not when you could have someone your own age. I think this angered me the most when you asked me about Hiroshi. My first instinct was to tell you no. Demand that you go nowhere near that boy." Her lips trembled over a smile this time, and he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Then later, with Sanosuke. I was rather inclined to kick his ass back out into the street when he showed up at three in the morning looking for you."

"Kenshin." Mildly scolding, but amused, Kaoru tilted her head to the side.

"I didn't, did I?"

"Only because I interrupted you."

Shaking his head, he sighed again. "Then… with the boy at the club. I was jealous. I didn't want you around them. Because I was afraid they would take you away from me. Afraid that they already had."

"Nobody has taken me away from you, Kenshin. Nobody can."

Leaning forward, he braced his forehead on hers. "I was given too much to think about and come to terms with on that day. There was no time for me to find a desirable solution. You, on the other hand, had already found it and decided. Unfortunately, I was not prepared for such a quick outcome. I had not figured out my own feelings yet."

It was Kaoru's turn to laugh softly. "It was too soon for you, and I was growing impatient."

"We do seem to have rather bad timing."

"You think so?"

"Hai, and alcohol loves to bring out the best in us as well." Laughing again, Kenshin readjusted his position and coaxed Kaoru into snuggling back against his chest.

"Mou, Kenshin, what are you getting at?"

"Well, koishii, there was something else you said last weekend that I found mildly interesting."

"Huh?" Squeaking in surprise, Kaoru twisted to stare at him in alarm. "But you…"

"Didn't say anything because I did not think it the right time to discuss. Especially since you couldn't remember anything outside of falling into the car to go home."

"Good grief, my tongue must have been especially loose if you got all of these wonderful confessions out of me."

"Hmmm… this little bit of information was the most pleasing I think." Mischievously he wrapped a strand of dark hair around his forefinger.

"Oh?" Lifting an eyebrow in a sign that she could not believe that, he chuckled, his fingers slipping from her hair to run lightly over her cheek.

"Oh quite. After explaining, in very… persuasive tones, that you do not like others touching you, you went on to inform me that you don't mind so much… when I do." Her eyes widened, and she blinked, apparently speechless. Smiling, almost wickedly, he let his fingers trail to her neck in remembrance. "Then, koishii, you proceeded to show me how."

"Mou." Voice nearly inaudible, she lifted the blanket to cover her face, her ears a very stunning red.

Laughing openly, Kenshin hugged her closer. "Relax, koishii, you were not totally explicit." Tugging softly on the blanket, encouraging her to show her face, he kissed the crown of her head. "Besides you got sick shortly afterwards."

"Ooh, I didn't puke on you did I?" Thoroughly mortified, Kaoru pouted at the embarrassing spectacle she had undoubtedly made of herself.

"No, you had enough sense to run to the bathroom."

"Thank Kami-sama. It's bad enough I tried to seduce you. If I had thrown up on you too…"

"Yes, that would have been anything but pleasing. Though I don't think you trying to seduce me was really all that bad. Especially since I was nearly willing to let you."

"Is… is that why you've been acting a little strange all week?"

"Strange?" One red eyebrow lifted. "Partly." His voice was still clearly amused as he conceded her point and Kaoru sighed as she settled back against him. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she burrowed closer to the warmth imprisoning her, hoping in her heart and soul that this was what she thought it was. That after all of this was said and done, Kenshin would belong to her. The way she wanted him to. "There are too many motives to name for my reasons, but I guess… I was tired of knowing that… I love you… and seeing how not showing it affected both of us." Fingers tightened in the front of his shirt, and he felt the telling pressure of her nose digging into his sternum.

"I love you too, Kenshin. I always have." Biting her lip against the knot in her chest, she sniffed once to stall the tears. Then in a forceful action that her muscles cried over in defiance and pain, she wrenched herself to her knees, her eyes angry and hurt. "If you knew this then why didn't you say so when you came back? Why did you… force such a distance between us? Why?" Her voice broke in the midst of her anger, the rest of her words watery with the liquid dripping from her lashes. Heart clenching sorrowfully in her chest, the painful look on his face did nothing to help her mood.

"Kaoru…" Sword calloused hands came back to cup her face, violet eyes dark with sympathy and regret. "My reasons for coming back were purely selfish. I thought, by that time, you would have already moved on. I didn't think you would still be waiting. I didn't even know if what you had said on that night was even true. I was afraid you would have figured out your own emotions by now and… loving me would not be a part of them." Her mouth opened to argue, and he leaned forward, his lips pressing against her forehead, effectively stilling her so he could continue. "My other fear had more to do with this feeling of obligation you seem to have for me. With everything we have been through together, I was afraid that if I had let you know my true feelings, you would only agree to anything I said because you felt you had no other choice. Not out of any real desire to… to be with me. I have claimed for too many years that you belong to me." Softly his fingers brushed over the hidden tattoo on her shoulder. "I was afraid I had truly made you believe that. Not because I didn't want you to be, but because… maybe _you _didn't want to be."

"I… have never thought about it like that before, Kenshin."

The words were thoughtful, and inside that statement he wondered at what her mind contemplated. Violet eyes clenching shut, his heart shook with doubt. Had he done right by telling her, even now? Was he wrong in this? Did she truly only love him out of an obligation? Much the way a child loves their parents, did she feel an emotion that was born from knowing no other way? _Please, not now. I couldn't take it. I have already given you my heart. Don't smash it to pieces._ His arms tightened unconsciously, a desire to not let go prompting the action.

"I guess I understand now what you were trying to tell me last weekend. I'm sorry I took it the wrong way, Kenshin." Loving the embrace surrounding her, Kaoru curled her fingers around his ribs and hugged him back. "I wish I had understood. I don't like it when we argue."

Relaxing, violet eyes parted, blinking at her words while his mind laughed at his reaction. _You should have more trust in your koishii._ Softly she sighed, the sound full of contentment and the banishing of tears. Smiling shakily, suddenly aware that they had passed this obstacle and were now together as he had only ever dreamed about, he rested his head on the top of her own. Her next statement made his eyes crinkle in amusement.

"Kenshin… this means you belong to me now, too, you know. You can't ever leave me again."

"Hai, koishii. I wouldn't dream of it."

"Good. I wouldn't want to have to track you down and beat some sense into you. Though I will if you push me." Her words were matter-of-fact, and he laughed softly, loving the next contented sigh that fell from her lips. "Tell me again, Kenshin. Tell me you love me."

Combing his fingers through her hair, he curled her closer, his words soft and meaningful. "I love you, Kaoru… little one… koishii."

"Hmmm, will you tell me again later?"

"Hai."

"And tomorrow?"

"Hai." His tone smiled.

"And the next day? And the day after that?"

"And for the rest of our lives… if you like."

"Yatta."

"Hmm… Yahiko."

"No, I said 'yatta' not Yahiko." Poking him in the ribs, she pursed her lips when he laughed.

"Well, I think Yahiko needs to speak with you anyway."

"Nani? But I just got comfortable." Burrowing harder against him in defiance, she flattened her ear over his chest and tried to tell herself that it was his heart beating she heard and not the boy's feet pounding on the engawa.

"Kaoru-sensei! Master Hiko is on the phone for you!" Panting followed his announcement, and Kaoru grumbled.

"Tell him I'm sleeping."

"But…" Kenshin laughed at his dismay.

"Oh, give me the phone." Pulling the receiver from the boy's hand, she sat up, her form quivering only slightly in fatigue. "Good afternoon, Tousan! Are you getting lonely again?"

"Don't give me that, girl. I'm calling to hear how you are, especially since that boy hasn't been taking care of you like he should."

"Tousan… you know this is different."

"Don't worry, I will be speaking with him next. Now tell me what happened."

Kaoru sighed, and shot a look at Kenshin, her eyes rolling and a grin pulling on her lips. "I'm sure he's going to appreciate the lecture." Another irritated remark came over the speaker, and Kaoru giggled. "But you know I only tease you 'cause I love you, right? Besides, you make it too much fun."

Hiko sighed on the other end, his being relaxing. If she could joke at a time like this, then she wasn't that hurt. When he had received that call from the police chief early in the morning, his heart had almost wrenched out of his chest. Fear and a fatherly instinct had demanded he leave and travel to Tokyo, but reason had suggested that it would not matter now. Kenshin had rescued her already by that time. And with the anger his apprentice carried within him, there was no way someone else would have been able to get near her again. Not when he had seen that single-minded rage take him over once before because of her.

"Then you were not hurt, little dragon?"

"Nothing serious, Tousan. I was more angry than hurt."

Hiko laughed, knowing all too well what her anger would have consisted of as well. He hoped she gave that bastard an earful too. Though she was probably more ashamed that she had been captured at all. There was no doubt Hiko could guess she blamed herself for the situation. _Though it is not your fault, Kaoru… this problem was born many years ago when that boy ran off to join the war._

"Alright, little dragon. Let me speak with the boy now."

Kaoru turned and handed the phone to Kenshin, smiling when red-brows dropped in trepidation.

"Yes, Hiko-sama?" There was a pause, inside which Kenshin cringed, waiting for the anger to spill out of the speaker and crush him where he sat.

"The police chief told me everything, boy, and I think it is safe to assume that this Shishio is not alone. There may be more men working for him than just this Udo Jin-e. Keep your eyes open."

Kenshin relaxed, wondering at Hiko's strange attitude. "Hai, shishou. I had thought the same thing."

"Good. I had hoped I did not waste all of my time raising an idiot." Frowning, Kenshin's lips twisted. "Make sure you watch and include the others, as well. That Sagara Sanosuke is a better fighter than you think. He will be an asset if you're in a bind. And Misao-chan has progressed in her studies as well. Both have trained with Kaoru and like many opponents do, they learned off one another. Also… I think it is time I talked with that old man at the Aoi-ya. Shinomori-san needs to be found, and with Shishio in the country, I have a feeling he won't be too far behind."

"That would be greatly appreciated, shishou. It will certainly make someone very happy."

"I'm sure." There was another pause before Hiko spoke again, his voice full of an uncharacteristic uncertainty and worry. "The girl is alright, isn't she?"

Smiling softly, Kenshin ran a hand down Kaoru's back, her form once again snuggled into his chest. She hummed softly in contentment at his actions, and he relaxed his head onto hers as he answered. "Hai, shishou. Nothing that will not pass within a week or so."

There was a sigh on the other end, the noise echoing as if he were trying to conceal it, then he abruptly became gruff once more. "Good. If it happens again, I might just kill you myself. Goodbye."

Laughing as he hung up the phone, Kenshin placed the receiver gently on the floor and encircled Kaoru once again within his arms. Seconds passed in silence as Kaoru lay softly against him, her being relaxing back into an almost sleep. It was then that Kenshin noticed the boy's presence still lingered, and when he turned his head in question dark eyes dropped quickly from his scrutiny of their position. There was a flinch in the action, and Kenshin felt a touch of trepidation and sadness, afraid he had frightened the boy. Yahiko had barely spoken since the day before. Was he truly scared of his identity?

Nudging her gently, Kenshin worked to bring Kaoru's attention back to consciousness. "Kaoru… I think your student wishes to speak with you." His voice whispered into her ear, and blue eyes parted curiously at the tone. Directing her gaze toward the boy, she twisted up into a sitting position, confused to find his slightly stiff form still frozen on the engawa.

"Yahiko?"

Her voice seemed to snap at his tense muscles, and she jumped when he abruptly flattened himself into a submissive bow. Squeaking, she had to consciously keep herself from reaching out and smacking him, worried over his uncharacteristically respectful actions. Even if he was creeping her out. "What is wrong with you?"

"Sensei, I don't understand. I need you to teach me."

Shifting to stall time, dark brows curled together as Kaoru puzzled over what he was speaking of. "What do you not understand, Yahiko?"

Silence strained the air between them, and Yahiko's fingers twitched as he searched for the right words to speak. "I… I don't mean any offense, Sensei, but… from everything that I have learned from you since you took me in… it does not… add up with everything I have learned since last night."

Kaoru relaxed, and a smile pulled at her lips. Now that she knew what was worrying the boy, she felt securer in her ability to handle the situation. "Do not worry, Yahiko. You will offend no one by speaking your mind. As your teacher I am here to help you. Now… first, tell me what you do understand, so I may help you figure out that which you don't."

Yahiko lifted his head and frowned, unsure of what she was expecting of him. Sitting back on his feet, he raked a hand through his hair and looked out toward the wall. "I understand… that…" Swallowing, he ground his teeth in anger at not being able to express what he felt properly. Impatient slightly with this method she had chosen. But she was his teacher, and he had never respected nor understood that bond as much as he had in the last twenty-four hours.

"The Kamiya Kasshin-ryu is a sword style based off of the idea that killing is unnecessary. That one can beat an opponent by conquering their spirit with one's own. Because of the teachings of Kamiya Kasshin-ryu, one's spirit is cleansed and revitalized, giving an edge over those that have been taught no other way. I also understand that because of this, one's spirit is also burdened, with the restriction to keep oneself from giving into the easy win. This requires one to push oneself to become quicker. To think quicker. To act quicker. To reason quicker. To always keep oneself one step ahead of one's opponent, for though our spirits are not weighed down with the blood of past victims, our spirits are limited by our vow not to take life."

"They will always take the quickest way to victory." Nodding, Kaoru supplied him with what he seemed to be struggling to explain. But her eyes smiled as she looked at her student with pride. _You have learned so much, Yahiko. And not all of it has been explained to you. _"What else?"

"I also understand… that you created this technique on your own. That the idea was purely yours. And though I don't understand how you have accomplished it, I do understand that it is a great style, and that you have given me a chance to not only learn how to protect myself, but to live honorably. But…"

"You understand quite a bit, Yahiko-kun." Smoothly her voice cut him off, driving his dark eyes back to meet hers. "Now… with everything that you have learned since yesterday, do you also understand what inspired me to create such a technique in the first place?"

"I…" Yahiko flitted his gaze to the man seated next to her, his violet eyes shielded and distant. "I don't, Kaoru-sensei."

"Yahiko… tell me everything you know about the Hitokiri Battosai."

Thrown slightly by the shift in subject, his eyes once again darted to the red-head, before he bowed his head and studied the hands in his lap. "He… was an assassin for the Choshu Clan. Some say the best there was. Later, he fought more openly for the Revolutionists. He was supposed to be a very deadly man. He killed… a lot of people."

Kaoru turned, her smile warm as she held out her hand to Kenshin. "May I borrow your katana, Kenshin?" Violet eyes looked her over for several long seconds before lifting the weapon slowly and placing it gently in her hands. "Arigato." Turning back to Yahiko, she held the sword out horizontally for his scrutiny. "Look at this katana, Yahiko-kun. Tell me what you see?"

"Uh…" Yahiko lifted an eyebrow, unsure of what he was supposed to be looking for.

"Just study it for a few seconds. Take your time."

Dark eyes drifted over the hilt, down the smooth lacquer of the sheath.

"What did you see last night?" Prompting him, she watched his eyes brighten.

"It's clean. Last night, even with the fight…" Yahiko pictured the man from the night before, seeing the blood that had soaked his shirt and had stained his hands. Some had surely gotten onto his sword, but it was no longer evident. "It's clean."

"Good." There was a note of approval in her voice, making his lips twitch. "Now hold out your hands." Quickly the boy wiped his palms on his pant legs, drying the sweat on his skin. Lifting his arms in anticipation, he jerked in surprise when the full weight of the katana was dropped into his grip.

"It's heavy!"

Kaoru laughed softly. "Hai. The sheath is metal." Giving him a few more minutes of time to look over the weapon in awe, Kaoru finally reached out to take it away. "I have decided on your lesson for the day, Yahiko-kun. I want you to think over everything that you know about the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu and the Hitokiri Battosai. Then I want you to compare them with what you have learned about Himura Kenshin through your examination of his katana. After supper I will hear what you have learned."

Confused, Yahiko opened his mouth to protest, but stopped when she lifted a brow. "Very well, Sensei." Bowing again, Yahiko stood and left, a crease of concentration already forming on his forehead.

Handing Kenshin back his sakabato, Kaoru smiled at the crease of confusion on his own face. "You do not mind my lesson, do you Kenshin?"

"No. You just… have a very curious way of explaining things to your student."

Kaoru laughed and snuggled her temple into his chest. "He's smarter than he looks, but he's _impatient_. He'll surely understand better after thinking it over for a few hours then if I just explained it now."

x

Police Chief Uramura sighed heavily as he slumped into the chair behind his desk. There was so much to do and seemingly not enough time to do it. Not to mention his resources were sadly lacking. The man he was looking for was a ghost, and in the back of his mind he knew, if the okashira of the Oniwabanshu and the legendary assassin of the Revolutionists couldn't track him down, how could he?

That he had penetrated the boundaries of Japan without being detected then proceeded to send his cronies to harass his enemy showed he was cunning. There was no doubt in the police chief's mind that the man was not alone. And where there was one attack there was sure to be more. _And this time Himura-san may not be able to handle it alone. Not with the handicap the girl is to him._ Leaning his head back, he stared at the ceiling. _And I cannot very well send any reinforcements to protect the Kamiya Dojo knowing that their mission could possibly include more than just the death of Himura Kenshin. _

Thoroughly frustrated, as he did not like the thought of anyone dying under his responsibility, he rubbed a hand over both eyes.

"You look tired, Uramura-san."

The voice made him jump, the presence in his office unannounced and unexpected. Jerking himself to his feet, he stared across at the man standing so casually on the other side of his desk.

"May I help you, sir?" Questioning him carefully, dark eyes narrowed as he took in his appearance, causing him to stutter when recognition dawned.

The man held up a hand for silence, acknowledging Uramura's reaction for what it was. "There are other matter's to attend to, Police Chief. Nothing that can be put off for another minute." Sitting down, the man waved in a second figure. A tall man, clothed strictly in a police uniform like everyone else in the precinct, strode into the office and situated himself by the door. Dark eyes narrowed, Uramura scanned his profile before returning his attention to the government official.

"I am well aware of the situation, Uramura-san. I have been briefed on all accounts, and I know that you are not equipped to take on such a task. I assure you, that problem will be taken off of your hands as of today." Uramura opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off by the lifting of one gloved hand. "Your full cooperation is required. And contrary to what you believe, you will not be kept in the dark. We need your help as much as you need ours."

"What could I possible offer that would be useful to you?" Curious, yet wary, Uramura shifted in his chair and crossed his legs, his eyes darting once more to the man behind his guest.

"Information. Particularly on a civilian under you protection."

"And this person would be?"

"I'm sure you know who I speak of."

"I'm afraid I truly don't."

The man by the door finally stepped forward, his hard yellow irises displeased. "Do not play coy, Police Chief. We are well aware of your knowledge of one Himura Kenshin and of his whereabouts."

Gripping the arms of the wooden chair, his fingers creaking against the wood, Uramura ground his teeth on a frown. "If you know our every move then why play through this charade of needing our assistance?"

"Because, you, my good man, have gained his trust." His guest spoke up in an aristocratic drawl, pulling out a cigar to light.

"And you think to use me against him? My God, are you here to help or hinder this operation?"

"We have no plans to hurt Himura-san, only test him. He must realize his help is needed in this, but in his current state he is of no use. Especially with that vow he was rumored to have taken at the end of the war."

"You would do well to leave it alone. He will not work for the government like he did before. Yamagata Aritomo has already tried to convince him once. He has a life outside of that violence now."

"With that little woman of his?" The yellow-eyed demon laughed, working on Uramura's anger further. "I thought he would have learned how easily that can be taken away from him. Especially after last night. Maybe another lesson is needed?"

"I would not do that if I were you, sir."

The man smirked. "The Battosai's anger does not frighten me. It only makes him weaker."

"If it was anger alone I would agree with you." Uramura sighed, his voice muttering under his long breath.

"No harm will come to anyone, Uramura-san. I assure you of this." Standing, the man dusted off his coat and turned to the door. "This man will go by the name of Fujita Goro while he is here. He will be your direct contact with the government, as well as report everything to me. I expect you two to be civil with one another. I will take my leave now."

Fujita Goro smiled once the other had left, walking forward to occupy the seat he had vacated and pulling out a pack of cigarettes. "So… where do we begin?"

x

The rest of the afternoon went fast for Yahiko. He hadn't realized how time consuming thinking could actually be. By the time supper was over he felt he had truly gleaned nothing knew over his sensei's relationship with the Hitokiri Battosai. Nor his relationship to the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu.

There was love between them. He had guessed that from the very first minute the man had shown up at the dojo. Had confirmed the notion when he became enraged at her possible injury. The thought had never bothered him, it was none of his business, and even now, after learning the man's true identity, he could honestly say it still did not bother him. Kaoru was obviously happy with him, and he was obviously happy with her. At least he knew for a fact that the tattoo had everything to do with him.

No, what was bothering him was the man's connection to the style of swordplay he had devoted his life to. How could someone so stained with blood and rage be so strongly interwoven with the creation of Kamiya Kasshin-ryu? Kaoru herself had said that he had helped her develop some of the more intricate kata. And if that were true, then how could Yahiko believe that those same kata were not stained with the actions of a technique that was meant to kill? Thoroughly setting it against everything he had been taught?

_But shouldn't I trust my sensei to know the difference? She is the master, not he, and he has even stated that he has not mastered the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu. But… how can he? When he has taken so many lives and stained his soul? Surely the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu would reject him. But…_

Yahiko stood in the training hall, lost in his thoughts, when Kaoru walked in, Kenshin close on her heels. Yahiko knelt and bowed in a curious seriousness, watching as his sensei's feet stopped a meter from him.

"Have you completed your lesson, Yahiko-kun?"

"Hai… but… I sill do not understand, Kaoru-sensei. What does the condition of Kenshin's sword have to do with anything?"

"You're getting ahead of yourself, Yahiko-kun. Let's talk about the creation of Kamiya Kasshin-ryu first." Kaoru paced around the empty training hall, staring up at the plaques on the wall. "You told me earlier today what you knew of the Hitokiri Battosai. You said he was an assassin of the war, a soldier that killed many. Would you like to know what else he was?"

Yahiko nodded, and Kaoru smiled, leaning forward as if to share a secret.

"Sensei."

"N-nani? Yours…?"

"Hai." Happily rocking back on her heels, Kaoru smiled, her eyes closing with the gesture. "He is a great teacher."

"But then… you learned Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu?" Eyes wide in disbelief, Yahiko stuttered in shock.

"Most of it, anyway." Shrugging her shoulders, Kaoru dismissed the meanings behind it. "I was never allowed to learn it all. Only the principle and the basics of the style itself. It helped place a solid foundation under the creation of the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu. Without learning it first, I probably would not have been able to accomplish what I did."

"So… the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu was based off of the Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu?" Yahiko's frown reappeared. "But how is that possible?"

"Not exactly the technique itself, merely the principle. Hiten is a style that is meant to protect others. I simply expanded upon that. The teachings of Hiten are a heavy burden, as I quickly noticed from my teacher and my father. A heavy enough burden for them to withhold most of its secrets from me. I would have never learned it all, and I knew this long before they ever told me. Only a year after my initiation into the discipline of swordplay, I began to create my own style. One that would allow me to be complete in my soul, and become strong like my sensei."

"But… what inspired you to create a technique that was against killing when…" Choosing his words carefully, he continued in whispered wariness. "your teachings were in satsujin-ken?"

"This did." Carefully she pulled at the neckline of her t-shirt, baring the long, thin scar that cut across her collarbone.

"You've never told me where you got that."

"I was kidnapped when I was seven." Gently she spoke, aware of the tension in the man behind her. "It was several months after the burning of Kyoto, and only a few months into my training. We were ambushed while my father was away, and I was taken hostage because of my connection to the shadow assassin of the Choshu Clan. During the fight, my shoulder was broken." Placing a finger over the bone, she indicated each wound as she spoke. "My clavicle broke in what they called a Greenstick fracture. The sharp edge tore through my skin, pushing the wound open and leaving my left arm nearly useless. There was much torn muscle tissue and numerous shards of floating bone. It was a mess, and the pain was enough to make me pass out.

"The injury itself was unimportant, though. It was only a tool that they could use to throw off their target. To weaken him so that it would be easier to kill him. They were mistaken. And it was the first time I saw my master kill, and truly understand what it did to him. In that moment, I was scared to realize that he was not the master that I loved. He was Hitokiri Battosai. And I felt and understood the pain I had always glimpsed in my master's eyes. He did not like killing, and I did not like that it hurt him."

"And… you created a style based on katsujin-ken. For him." Enlightenment dawned and the awe in Yahiko's voice made her smile.

"And for me too. I don't think I could ever take a life myself, but I still wanted to be strong enough to take care of myself. I did not want to be helpless and become a burden to my master. Over time, the style just seemed to evolve on its own."

Yahiko's head bent down, a frown of concentration on his face as he thought over her words.

"There is still something that bothers you."

"Kaoru-sensei, you said that your master helped you in the creation of Kamiya Kasshin-ryu, and yet he himself was a soldier of the war who killed many people. I don't understand how something so pure as your sword style can stay pure when…"

"When the hands of a murderer helped its creation?" Yahiko looked slightly sheepish. Even though Kaoru's words were kind and only suggestive of his thoughts, the man next to her was still silent, and if anything, his face had become even less expressionless. Was he angry that they were speaking of him as if he were not even there?

Walking to the wall on the other side of the room, Kaoru bent over a shrine, her hands reaching out to the small doors in the back. "Yahiko, earlier I asked you to examine the sword of Himura Kenshin. I did so knowing you would be unaware of what you were looking at. Without something to compare it to, you are ignorant of its true meaning." As she spoke, her hands lifted a katana from out of the shrine, its length covered in silk. Turning slowly, she held out her arms to show her student his next lesson. "This is the sword of Hitokiri Battosai. You will describe it to me next."

Pacing toward the boy, she passed Kenshin, his brows furrowed. "Kaoru…" She smiled softly in reassurance, and continued until she knelt before her student. Untying the knot that held the cloth over the length, she carefully dropped the covering to the floor and once more held out the katana for the boy to study.

"What do you see?"

Yahiko looked in dismay at the tool before him. The sheath was chipped and scratched, the lacquer dull and lifeless. The hilt was stained. Dark smudges of what he knew to be blood and maybe dirt soiled the wrappings, hiding the true color it had once been from the world. This sword had not been taken care of properly.

"It's… very dirty. Almost… unhealthy. Like it's sick or something."

"Hai. I have tried to clean it several times, but the stains will not come out." Meticulously, she wrapped a hand around the hilt, tugging slightly to free the blade from the sheath. A sharp hiss pulled at the air, and Yahiko instinctively flinched back. The aura was dark and dank, and even as untrained as he was in ki, he could feel the anger that radiated from the steel. And the pain. But even as stained and unkempt as the outside was, the blade was sharp and deadly. Kaoru did not have to ask this time, the look on his face said it all. Sheathing the blade with a soft click, she moved to cover the katana with the cloth again.

"Yahiko, what do you know of a samurai's katana? What does it represent?"

Yahiko looked over the weapon in her hand, his heart still beating rapidly at the energy it produced. Thinking back to his first lessons with Kaoru he remembered her lecture of what a sword meant to a true samurai. "A samurai's katana represents his soul."

"And what do you now know about the soul of Hitokiri Battosai? What did you feel from it when you looked at his katana?"

"Anger. Pain. And sadness."

Standing, Kaoru walked back to the shrine, replacing the katana in its holder. "This katana became useless to my master at the end of the war. It was too stained and too bitter for him to use, especially with the vow he had taken."

"Vow?"

"To never take another life." Kaoru grinned when Yahiko's eyes widened. "Because of this vow, his katana could not be used. And so we found him a new weapon. Kenshin, would you show Yahiko your sakabato?"

Yahiko repeated the word in confusion, then stared at the blade that was leveled for his scrutiny. "The blade's on the wrong side!" And where the other blade had radiated anger, this one was completely pure, calm and peaceful in its strength.

"This weapon prevents me from taking life, Yahiko-kun." Kenshin spoke up softly, startling the boy with his break in silence. "It was a great gift to me, and I have cherished the second chance."

"But… it's so heavy."

"As my soul is heavy with the lives I have taken. I will never forget their sacrifice. And I will never stop fighting to give meaning to their loss."

"Do you better understand now, Yahiko?" Kaoru broke through the crease of thought on the young boy's face, happy that Kenshin had helped her in this lesson. It did them both good to speak with one another.

"I… I think I do, Kaoru-sensei. Only…"

"Yes?"

"Well… it's probably not my business or anything, but since you were talking about katana symbolizing souls… I thought…"

"Are you going to spit it out?" Laughing, Kaoru crossed her arms, amused at the stuttering from her student. Yahiko growled, and turned his head away with a pout, his seeming cautiousness gone with the lesson learned.

"I was just wondering why Kenshin doesn't carry a wakazashi. If a katana is supposed to represent a warrior's soul, then it's supposed to be his heart, right?"

"That is very true, Yahiko." Smiling, Kaoru leaned back into the small cabinet, pulling out a second, cloth covered sword. This one considerably shorter than the first. "This is the heart of Himura Kenshin… and of Hitokiri Battosai. This belongs to me." Settling the short sword against her chest, her smile turned smaller, and more than a little sad. "It has taken one life, and that life was my fault as well. In return, I have given him this." Sweeping one arm in a large arch, Kaoru indicated the dojo surrounding them. "This dojo is _my _heart, and I freely let him call it home for as long as he wishes."

"Geeze, busu, I was just wondering. You didn't have to tell me all that." Disgusted, Yahiko stood, his face twisted in revulsion. "Uh, thanks for the lesson. I'm going to bed. Gotta get up early for school and everything." Muttering slightly under his breath, he walked to the door of the training hall and disappeared out onto the engawa.

Chuckling to herself, Kaoru replaced the wakazashi in the shrine, and carefully closed the doors. When she turned back to the empty room, Kenshin was standing beside her, and she gratefully leaned into him. Every muscle in her body was quivering in fatigue and she was a little annoyed by it.

"Hmm, I find it appropriate that my heart should be tucked away so securely inside of your own." Rubbing a hand up her back, he smiled when she hugged herself tighter to him.

"Do you?"

"Hai. Home will always be where you are."

x

A/N: I think it's time to leave our two lovebirds alone for a little while. XD

Well, now that that is out of the way, we will move on to the "we're all gonna get in a fight" scenes! Lol I'm so happy! I've been waiting for these scenes ever since I finished my last chapter. Sorry, by the way, that it took so long. But hey, it's Christmas season and everyone knows how crazy that can get. I was hoping to have so much more done on all of my stories than I have and it depresses me every time that I think about it. Like how I haven't posted a chapter on my other stories in over a year now. Ouch. That one sucks huh? Anyway, hope to see you all soon in my next chapter. Please review. Me likes those thingies. XD


	22. In Anger

Well, this was like pulling teeth.

I think I changed the title of this chapter five times! As always I apologize that it has taken so long, though this time was considerably worse than any other. I'm so ashamed, but I will blame my distractions and the fact that I think I discouraged myself. I did have some of this chapter already done a long time ago, but every time I brought it up to write on, I never felt inspired to do anything. Not to mention I couldn't figure out where or how I wanted it to go from where I had stopped. So, by the time I figured out what was really wrong it had already been a year. And so… I erased the entire thing and started this one. Yay! Thanks everyone for continuing to encourage me, I hope this is satisfactory, and as a reward for sticking around (and because it took me so long) there is a nice, juicy present at the end for you. A, a, a… no skipping.

Disclaimer: Maa, maa…

x

"I'm madly in anger with you."

_St. Anger -_ Metallica

x

Chapter 22: In Anger

"We are not discussing this for one second more."

Huffing out a breath of annoyance, her lips twisting when he chuckled in amusement, Kaoru shoved her bokken under one arm and lifted a long strip of cloth to her face. Effectively covering her eyes until nothing but darkness was visible, she knotted the blindfold tightly and reached once more for the wooden sword.

"Kaoru, when you asked me to train with you I did not think this was what you had in mind." Shaking his head when her frown darkened, Kenshin sighed. "What was wrong with our training at the dojo?"

"That was merely a warm-up. We're past all of that now. I need something a little more challenging." Swiping at him with her bokken, she jerked around to follow his movement when he dodged. "I'm not always going to see someone attacking me, and I want to know how to anticipate that happening."

Sidestepping another half-hearted swing, Kenshin sighed again. "If this is about that Kurogasa business, I do not think you will have to worry about it. You were not feeling well, Kaoru. That will affect all of your senses." Catching the tip of her sword in one hand, he stepped closer, his forehead leaning into hers. "You have improved a lot, koishii, and besides… what is wrong with letting me protect you?"

Sensing a note of dismay, Kaoru realized finally what had been bothering him for the past few weeks. "Kenshin… you can't do everything, and though I know you don't like hearing it, you can't always be there, either." Freeing a hand to lift to his face, trying to judge his feelings by the curve of his features, her chest grew heavy at the deep furrow of his brow. "If I can protect myself as well as you can, then you won't have to worry about being away. Hell, even if I can protect myself half as well as you can you'll have nothing to worry about." Patting him on the cheek, she smiled when he laughed. Forced as it was.

"You are my responsibility, Kaoru, more so now than ever… I can't…"

"Kenshin, if this is some primitive male instinct trying to demand I stay hidden from the world I'll have you know that this day and age does not allow for it. I am a perfectly capable human being, and I will not be treated like a defenseless, pampered object just because I'm a woman." Shifting her grip quickly, she jabbed him in the gut with her bokken, satisfied when he wheezed. "Now go hide somewhere, you're defeating the whole purpose of this exercise by standing right in front of me."

"Koishii… you are so difficult."

"But I'm right. Besides, you wouldn't love me if I wasn't." Flicking her wrist, she giggled when he yelped, his voice indignant.

"Be careful with that thing!"

"Really Kenshin, I thought hitting you was the point."

A tense silence filled the air, the gentle feel of his ki disappearing as he obliged her request. For a moment it was disorienting. Just a bit frightening. Kenshin had always been a large part of her life, and though he had always unconsciously masked his ki, she had been around him long enough to recognize his presence. Subconsciously? Maybe. More than likely an occurrence that was allowed more by him than because of her own experience and strength. Kenshin had always strove to comfort her, to protect her from everything, including those small fears of loneliness and anxiety. Such a habitual activity could not be broken so easily, and it had only taken a few short days after his reappearance for that gentle reassurance to resurface between them.

Recently, however, that warmth had changed and her heart sang with the metamorphosis. Wrapping soothingly around her, covering her like a thick wooly blanket to ward off the cold, his ki spoke of love and contentment. So much more enjoyable than before. So much more desirable and luxurious. Such a Kenshin thing to do, to spoil her as he was. Almost too quickly she had become dependant on his support.

It could not be helped that her balance wavered with its absence, threatening to throw her face first into the dirt where she would lie, alone, confused, and uncaring of the world around her. A terrifying realization, to discover how deep and overpowering her weakness for him truly was. The exact reason why she needed these moments of training. Not to overcome her weakness, for that was a happening that was both impossible and undesirable, but to lessen her reliance for him. Especially within areas she herself could or most definitely should handle. Kenshin was a strong man, there was no doubt, but that did not mean he would not need support himself every now and again.

Steadying herself with a forceful breath, Kaoru set her stance, lifting her bokken straight out in front of her so that she was ready to defend at will. For several long minutes there was nothing. No sound but the wind whispering through the trees, no presence but that of the birds hopping from branch to branch as they flirted, their small pulsations of energy slightly calming. Tilting her head as one took flight, she sucked in a sharp breath and twisted to counter, just barely able to keep her footing as her muscles compensated for the strike. Stinging shocks of vibration shot up her arms, her heartbeat thundering in adrenaline, and her ki sprung to life in answer. Collecting herself to respond, she hissed out a breath when he vanished.

Kenshin pushed her as hard as he dared, nearly more frightened than she as he helped train her awareness. Though he would not tell her so, he was not putting his full effort into the strikes, because somewhere in his mind he knew she could not handle what that would consist of. He understood what it was she was trying to accomplish. Understood that it was not only a matter of pride, but a reassurance for him. To comfort him and let him know that she would be fine even if he could not be there to protect her. The thought touched him, and he appreciated her effort, but inside his heart he knew he would never feel completely at peace with her safety unless she was snuggled tightly in his embrace. Without her there, he always felt edgy.

Coming to terms with the notion that Kaoru could possibly mean more to him than she ever had before had left a surprising impression on him. Kaoru had always been his center; his peace; his light. For many years he had known her to be the reason he strove to better himself. Known that without her his life would have been so very different than it was now. He owed her everything, would allow nothing to take her away, and jealously snatched at every second of her regard that he could. But now… he ached just having to leave her long enough to make breakfast, and the feeling would not disappear until she was once again positioned between his arms; whether to share a brief moment of affection or as she drifted off into pleasant dreams.

It made him wonder what other levels of possession would come with their slow progress into this relationship. Kenshin already felt at times that he would go mad without her near. Was he teasing insanity with his desire for a deeper taste of intimacy with his life's mate? Would the restlessness consume him and create a stranger, more lethal creature? Would the darkness that was cast behind him from her light lengthen, intensifying to a depth that would lash out at anyone who came too near? Whether friend or foe? There was no denying the twinge of irritation he already felt at those passing, interested personages who eyed his beloved with envy and appreciation. Would that soon spread to even the innocent observations of those around them? More terrifying still, would she notice and become impatient of his actions, leaving him alone with bitterness and a need that would drown him slowly into despair?

All of it only intensified his final conclusion. He did not want her to worry about any of this. Practicing kendo was an indulgence he had allowed to a child of seven, had encouraged when she seemed delighted in the enjoyable art of its dance. Protecting herself was a bonus, of course, but only for as long as it would take for him to step in. Kaoru belonged to him, she was his responsibility. Whatever happened to her was his fault, and he wanted that to consist of happiness and joy. He would protect that happiness for her. And for himself. Because Kaoru was the beginning step to a paradise he was only now understanding.

Was he dismissing her skill? Of course not. Kaoru was quite capable of more than he had ever imagined she could be. And how could one ignore that when she had created an entirely new style of swordplay with only the basis of a mere year or so under her belt? She had barely been introduced into the motions before her imagination had begun working through the movements and twisting them into variations that suited her. How wonderfully amazing she was! There was no doubt that she could hold her own, even against him.

Kaoru was a quick learner, and he was reminded of this as she began to parry his attacks with a growing ease. Knowing she would be upset if she thought he was merely indulging her, Kenshin placed more care in his actions. A frown line appeared between her brows, and he grinned as she caught on, her concentration focusing to a dangerous precision against him. Such an intimidating opponent she was, and as her retired teacher, he felt a stab of pride. Even though the emotion was in direct contrast with his current status of desire for his new koishii.

His change in tactics was not lost on Kaoru, and she bit her lip as she dodged smoothly and struck out with a quick jab. Not surprised that she missed, she followed his movements and dug into him relentlessly. She was beginning to recognize the change in flow around her, how to discern the stoic pressure of a tree from the agitated fizzle of an attack. Able to expand her defense beyond simple dodges and blocks, Kaoru felt confidence in her judgment as she jumped back, slipped to the side, and kicked off a tree trunk to hurtle herself towards the area of disturbance that marked Kenshin's form.

Surprise could be felt in the harried way he reacted, his movements not as smooth and precise as usual. It was always satisfying to draw out such a response from him, and her grin was half-cocked when she rolled to her feet. Trying to keep him off-balance, she transitioned easily into her next attempt, using the terrain to her advantage, well-aware that her handicap would shorten his suspicion of her abilities and allow her to deceive him. There was hardly a chance of her actually connecting, he was a legend, after all, but his strength would challenge her to become better. Being good enough to hold one's own against Himura Kenshin meant more than sparring with a dojo master and winning.

For a short while it seemed she had him on the run, his attacks altering abruptly to defense as she turned the tables on him. Pleased with her progress in such a limited amount of time, Kaoru let herself indulge a surge of pride. Though she had practiced with Misao in discerning shadow attacks and the differences in pressure that announced such dishonorable thoughts and deeds, they had never brought it to such a level as this. Those exercises before were merely for self-defense purposes. Never had Kaoru thought to incorporate them into her serious training. She was beginning to see the benefits of it, however, and she briefly entertained her imaginings with how to settle it smoothly into the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu.

Realizing too late how distracted she had become, Kaoru's heart lurched into her throat as she recognized the shift in Kenshin's ki. Readying himself to attack, her headlong dash placing her at just the right location to ambush, Kaoru was completely unprepared to counter. Trying to react last minute, her body twisted under the swipe, a sharp ringing swish of sound tearing through her ear, and she landed with a skid in the dirt. Dead branches on the ground tore up one side of her, digging harshly into her thigh and soft belly, and she ground her teeth at the burn of friction. Grunting as she flopped onto her back, wincing when her head connected with a stray stone, she dropped her bokken and held up her hands in surrender.

Kenshin must have realized her mistake before she even hit the forest floor, because he was beside her almost as soon as her hands lifted. "Kaoru, are you ok?" Translating her grimaces of pain, he ran careful fingers over the back of her skull and down her side, instinctively reaching to part her training gi to have a better look. Hooking a thumb under her blindfold, Kaoru lifted a brow and graced him with a sardonic look.

"I'm fine, Kenshin. I think I wounded my ego more than my backside." Wiggling a finger in her ear to ward off the ringing, she frowned. "What were you trying to do anyway, take my head off?"

"Kaoru, you were…" A frantic note had entered his voice, and Kaoru sighed, her lips smiling.

"I know, Kenshin. It's not your fault. I let myself get distracted." Heaving an exaggerated breath, she folded her hands meekly over her chest and tilted her head. "So, now that I am thoroughly defeated, what, teacher, happens next?

"Well, as a teacher, I'm sure what is expected of me to say is, get up and try again." Speaking very reasonably, his eyes twinkled with an echoing mischief and she grinned before she shrugged.

"Ok." Rolling to brace her weight on one elbow, she knocked aside the arm he had been leaning on, slamming herself headlong into his chest and knocking the wind from him as she landed on top. Sprawled halfway across him, her blindfold sticking the short strands of her bangs straight up in the air while still half covering her eyelids, she grinned broadly down at his wide-eyed expression. "I win."

"You cheated."

Laughing, her chin dropping to rest on his sternum, she enjoyed the rumble of his own amusement. Closing her eyes as his arms encircled her, she clenched them to show enjoyment of his embrace, her fingers fisting involuntarily in his clothing. This was the only time she ever felt completely whole. This was the peace she only felt with him.

"Kaoru?"

"Hmm?" Opening her eyes, she smiled warmly, coaxing the expression to spread across his own features. Lazily his eyelids drooped, the hand at her back rubbing lovingly up her shoulder and then down again.

"Are you happy with me, koishii?" The question was accompanied by a gentle brush of calloused fingers over her temple.

"Of course I am, Kenshin." Her warm smile softened, her clenched fingers relaxing to flatten over his chest. Feeling the need to elaborate, her cheeks flushed pink. "I have always wanted to be with you… this way. Sometimes it seems unreal that… I finally was able to confess my feelings and have them returned." The blush deepened with the darkening of unreadable emotion in his eyes, a restless heat sliding up her spine. Lungs heavy, her voice dropped to a whisper. "I have never in my life been happier…"

"I'm glad." Grip tightening in the material at her back, the hand on her face coaxed, wanting her closer. Briefly her teeth clamped over her lip, abusing the moist flesh, and she released it only in time for him to quiet the ache.

An ache that spread between them and squeezed his heart, unearthing a fear that he wished to dismiss. To dismiss such a notion, however, was impossible and more than just wrong. Kenshin loved her. Loved more than just the acceptance and affection she showed toward him. Their bond had become tangible, indescribable, and too important to simply ignore. It would last a life-time, if not possibly longer, and he wanted that span to be littered with joy, love, peace, and happiness. There could be no room for guilt between them. Not over any aspect of their relations together. Which meant they needed to talk.

As much as the notion frightened him; as hard as it was going to be to look her in the eye and confess such a horrible truth, it could not be ignored. Not now that they had professed their love and spoke, even lightly, of what their future would be. He wanted there to be no secrets; no fears; no confusion. Only trust and comfort. Before they progressed much further… she needed to know about her real parents and how they had died.

Even such a small light shining on the darkest secret in his heart made his stomach heave. Ribs contracting; lungs pinching; his touch roughened in reaction, desperation a thick cage over his mind. Fear opted to leave it be; to accept her gift of beauty and drown in it. If she was happy now, would it not be wrong to risk destroying that? Would it not be cruel to take away her life of peace by tainting her joyful heart and soul with such a notion? Didn't she deserve so much more than that? Wasn't she more important?

Shifting his position, he was careful to let her weight slide slowly off his chest, snuggling her gently into the pine needles and new moss. Adjusting his shoulder, bracing himself on one arm, he settled his body closer, the firm grip on her forearm the only show of his inner turmoil. Always considerate of her comfort, he would not frighten her. He would not let her know even an inkling of the pain he felt. Because they were still too new in this relationship. Any show of displeasure would surely make her doubt, and there was nothing left to doubt. Not from him. Everything he was belonged to her. He wanted her to know that.

Pure bliss clouded Kaoru's thoughts, the heat radiating from Kenshin's body cocooning her in pleasure and wonderful apathy. Nothing else mattered at that moment. Only the feel of his chest softly skimming the planes of hers; the way he seemed to surround her with his scent. Silky red hairs tickled her cheeks and neck, catching in her eyelashes and between her fingers. She felt so safe and wanted; sheltered from the outside world. Even his ki seemed to protect her; twining with hers, but also over and above. Though a part of her would have normally rebelled… Kaoru was surprisingly excited by his dominance.

As was to be expected the pleasing occurrence did not last long, and Kaoru was only partially disappointed when he finally pulled away. They were, while not blatantly in public, training in a wooded area that was accessible by the public. And while both of them would have been able to tell if someone was coming, which was a highly unlikely event anyway, Kenshin did not feel like testing the limitless span of desire he suspected lay dormant within his chemical makeup. Made all the more tempting by Kaoru's undeterred nature and limpid gaze as she lazily blinked up at him.

Swallowing thickly, he released her pinned arm and rolled slowly to his side, settling next to her instead. "I think… you have nothing to worry about."

"Oh?" Idly she lifted a hand to his chest, smoothing her knuckles over his collarbones and down over his free shoulder to his wrist.

"Hai…" Watching her actions curiously, he half-smiled when she weaved her own fingers around and through his, her thumb a soft caress against his skin. "You have always been a quick learner."

The smile on her lips tilted, a light blush darkening her nose. "I also have a great teacher." Darting him a quick glance to see what he made of this, she squeezed his hand. "I have the great responsibility of honoring my sensei by being the best I can. I have never taken that duty lightly."

"Koishii…" Brushing her nails softly against his lips, he leaned forward to nuzzle her hair. "You owe me nothing." Brow furrowing, mouth twisting, he hid the expression against her neck. "I have done nothing to earn such respect."

"Don't say such things. I could fill pages with deeds you have done that deserve admiration." Lifting her free arm in a lofty imitation, she grinned as he chuckled at her teasing remark. Dropping it to trail down his jaw, she hesitated only briefly before planting a moist kiss on the side of his mouth. "Silly Kenshin. You have done so much for me… and this country." Voice tender with praise, she swiped her hand back up his cheekbone and into his hair. "I'm not saying I owe you anything. I'm explaining how happy I am to have been with you and experience what I have. Not just as my teacher. But as my friend and… my love. Even if you don't think you deserve any type of reverence, it won't stop the fact that I have the deepest respect for you."

"Kaoru." How was he supposed to confess to her now? How was he to be expected to destroy her beautiful words of high regard by even suggesting the blasphemy he had committed? Not to Kaoru, with her pure heart. Not to his little one that looked up to him. Not to the woman who belonged to him so fully and unconditionally. Not to the one person in this world that had only ever gazed upon him with love and anticipation.

Tugging her into the curve of his body, he hugged her tightly, aware to the point of pain how happy this action made her. With her arms wrapping gently around his neck and her face buried in the hollow of his throat; the tiny kisses she left on his collar leaving deep imprints on his soul; he could not be required to kill that image of perfection she was imagining. _Not now. I cannot do this now._ Amber tinged irises parted to sweep suspiciously over the trees around them, his heart urging him to protect this happiness she was feeling. _We will discuss it later… when the moment is not so perfect._

x

Yahiko was hard pressed to keep down his excitement, and who could blame him? Today would be the first time he was allowed to accompany his sensei on an outside training day. Trying to even his light-footed steps to something uniform and indifferent, Yahiko clutched at the strap of his training bag until his knuckles turned white. Anticipating the knowledge he would no doubt gain was an easy emotion to deal with, but he also had to think about the nervousness that was knotting his belly. Most of the students in the Maekawa Dojo were older than him by a few years, or so Kaoru had informed him, and were much more experienced. Not only did this make him worry over his own ability to defend himself well enough against them, but he also had the pride of the Kamiya Dojo sitting on his shoulders. He was the only student, after all, and he had to prove that Kaoru's technique was equal to that of theirs. Stewing over his responsibility, he unconsciously began chewing on his lip, his eyes cast downward to the pavement.

Smiling, Kaoru felt a stab of pride for her student before looking away so he wouldn't notice her attention. Yahiko was not one for affection or any type of emotion that he considered girly. Or so he liked to tell her. However, he never minded Tsubame's blushing words of fondness when she spoke to him at the restaurant. Rolling her eyes in a sisterly motion, Kaoru hid her laughter. She guessed guys just did not like anyone to know their true feelings except for that one special woman. Realizing how happy that made her, warmth blossoming inside her chest as she thought of Kenshin, her smile softened into a dreamy expression. One she was hard pressed to keep off her face after the past few weeks.

Maekawa-sensei met them at the door when they arrived, greeting them politely and gracing Yahiko's presence with praise and enthusiasm.

"It is nice to finally see Kaoru-kun's student in my dojo. She has spoken nothing but approval of your skill." Maekawa bowed slightly as he spoke, his smile as kind as his words. Seeing Yahiko's eyes widen, Kaoru cocked a grin.

"Don't tell him that, Maekawa-sama. He will surely get a big head."

Laughing it off, Maekawa's dark eyes bored into the black depths of the boy's. "I doubt he will do anything to dishonor his sensei. After all, he is your chosen successor, is he not?"

Kaoru nodded her head and cast a side look at Yahiko, noticing his posture had straightened with the reminder. Thankful to Maekawa, she placed a confident hand on her young ward's shoulder. "That he is."

_And it is not a position that would be chosen lightly._ Sensing the statement left unsaid, Yahiko felt humbled by her faith in him. Bowing low to them both, Yahiko spoke quickly from his heart. "I promise to work hard and prove the worth of my master's teachings within your dojo walls, Maekawa-sama."

"Do not worry, young Yahiko. The style she practices has already been proven many times over. You are here to learn, not to demonstrate. You will accomplish nothing if you are too focused on what everyone else thinks of you."

A moment of relief washed over Yahiko and he nearly sighed. Squaring his shoulders once again, he set his face. "I still plan on working hard. I cannot make my sensei doubt her decision to bring me here today."

"Very well." Laughing Maekawa led them into the dojo.

Only a few hours after being there, and Kaoru was more than impressed by her student. If Yahiko complained and slacked off while they were home, it seemed he was determined to do the exact opposite when in the company of others. Sighing, and feeling a bout of irritation, she scowled and pursed her lips. _If only the brat would show this much ardor during training, he'd probably be further into the technique than he is now. It only makes it worse since he blames me for his lack of knowledge._ Rolling her eyes, Kaoru averted her attention back to the young man vying for it. Nodding her head at his words, she rolled her shoulders and lifted her bokken once again.

"One more time, Goro-kun. This time keep a firm grip and do not close your eyes when you swing."

"H-hai, Kamiya-sensei."

Attuned so intensely on her surroundings, her next movement was almost instinctual. Watching in near slow motion the overhead chop of the student in front of her, the clench in her gut prompted her actions and she slid forward without hesitation. Slapping a hand into his chest, she noticed only vaguely the widening of his eyes in confusion before he was flung backwards and out of her area of concern. Twisting in the same moment, she brought her bokken up high and grimaced at the sting of vibration that wracked up her arm.

Quiet descended across the hall as she narrowed her eyes, the perpetrator's slow smirk maddening on his sharp face. "So his little wench _has _been trained well." Forcing more pressure on the still sheathed katana in his hands, he pushed a grunt out of her as Kaoru tried her hardest to give no ground.

"Who the hell are you?"

Suspicious, her anger only heightened at the police uniform this man was wearing so casually. And his golden irises, so like Kenshin's and yet so unlike at the same time, spoke of how his experience far surpassed her own. Frown deepening, she gathered all of her strength and shoved back, leveling her bokken between them warningly.

"My identity would mean nothing to you, little girl." Lifting his katana, he rested it on his shoulder, his taller figure looking down upon her.

"It'll prove useful when I call your superior and report your ass. That is, unless you killed a police officer to get that uniform. Either way I think I'll just beat you unconscious and let them take care of you."

Sniffing, the intruder lifted an eyebrow, cynical amusement plain on his features. "You're quite the sassy one. Shall we see if you can back up that claim?"

Strengthening her stance in anticipation of his attack, she shifted her grip on the bokken in her hands, waiting for an opening. Though the man had not drawn his katana as of yet, there was no mistaking the intentions of having it present in the first place. There were way too many bystanders here for an all out confrontation, and Kaoru's protective instincts were in conflict with her decisions. If she was to allow this fight to happen in this dojo that she was merely visiting then she was placing many innocent lives at risk, but there did not seem to be any alternative. There was no telling what this man would do if she were to run. If she knew he would follow she would not hesitate to do it, but the only statement that suggested he was there for her was his first when he had entered. Just because she was the first he had attacked does not mean he had planned it that way, either.

Worrying her lip, she glanced around the hall, taking in many of the uncertain faces of the young men. Only Maekawa-sensei seemed to have retained his wits, his strong hands shooing the younger and less experienced students out the back door. Glad for that at the least, Kaoru returned her gaze to the man, angered by his knowing stare. "Worried, girl?"

Pulling a mock imitation of his own smirk, Kaoru shrugged nonchalantly. "Worried I'll end it too quickly. Training on a more serious level actually sounds like fun." Kicking off, she struck a blow full on his front, testing his abilities. Not surprised when he easily blocked, she jumped back and circled to get a better angle.

"Hmph. It seems his arrogance has rubbed off on you. What a pity." Deflecting another blow with his sheathed katana, he followed her movements almost casually, his legs shifting his weight or sidestepping her thrusts with barely any effort. Forcing down her annoyance, Kaoru instead focused her entire attention on finding a weakness in his technique.

It wasn't until they had traded a half dozen blows before Kaoru began to notice the activity of the older students still left in the hall. Skidding to a halt, she chanced a brief glance in their direction. _What are they doing?_ Lifting fluid arms to fend off another swift attack, Kaoru ground her jaw and dropped a hand from her bokken. Planting it firmly on the floor she executed a quick spin and kicked up at him to gain precious space. Satisfied when she grazed his shoulder, she sucked in a breath when he smirked and switched lead hands. Curling in on herself, the others forgotten, she used every ounce of her strength to stall the twist halfway and switch directions.

Feeling overexerted muscles cry in agony, she landed on her feet out of sheer will and faced off once more. One dark brow over slightly approving golden eyes lifted, and his smirk was that much more infuriating. "Well done, little girl. With some experience you just might be good enough to recruit."

"Sorry. Not interested." A sharp spasm ripped up her back and she bit back a grunt. _Great. I must have pulled something with that little maneuver. I'll have to remember to stretch with Misao more often._

"Too bad. I heard the Battosai's gotten stale. Having his little student take his place might have been a trade up."

_So that's what this is about._ Feeling her anger overrule her pain, Kaoru's spine snapped straight, her mouth curling into a snarl. But as her body readied itself to attack, her legs coiling like a spring, she nearly tripped over her own feet when several cries of battle sang through the small enclosure.

With a small touch of horror she watched the leftover mass of students combine their strength and attack the intruder, each with a different call of their own.

"We won't let you hurt Kamiya-sensei!"

"Get out of our dojo!"

"Fight me instead!"

"Wait!" Holding up a hand hurriedly, her plea was ignored as they jumped forward into the fighter's circle. Scornful amusement pulled at the man's features, but he did not move to react to their threats, not even to lift his shielded katana. Instead he opted to meet each of their blows in a rather derisive manner, swatting away their pitiful strikes with his opened palm. If Kaoru did not find him so arrogant an opponent, she would have wondered at his withholding of power, for he was definitely a strong enemy.

It did not take long for him to disarm each of the boys, their weapons either broken or tossed harmlessly out of the way. Bruises in abundant numbers could be counted peppered across their skin, some groaning as they cradled their rolling stomachs in half-bent positions. Irritated with both parties, Kaoru was thankful only that Yahiko had not entered the short ambush. If it could be called such. His smaller figure could be seen clearly enraged as he fought against the hand restraining him by the collar. Pursing her lips, Kaoru shouted across the dojo, her eyes staying quite steady on her opponent.

"Maewaka-sama! Get these boys out of here now! They don't need to interfere with business that does not concern them!" It wasn't exactly the truth, as this was their dojo to defend, but Kaoru was hoping the older master would see the sense in her demand. This man had already proven that he could and would take each of them down with nothing more than his bare hand, and also it seemed he had no interest in anything but her as his own amber irises kept an annoyingly apt eye on her actions. As Kaoru was more than able to handle herself, and Maekawa was in no condition to be fighting, it would be much easier for her to concentrate without them getting in the way with their silly notions of heroism.

Sighing, Maekawa reluctantly agreed. "It seems you may be right, Kaoru-kun. Come boys, let us leave this matter to the lady."

Sneering at a few as they limped passed him, the tall trespasser watched them leave with no small amount of disdain. "How pathetic. To be so obedient to the demands of a mere woman."

"Mere woman?" Anger igniting at such sexist views, Kaoru's face flushed. "This mere woman is enough to fend you off."

"Overconfidence is not something to encourage while fighting for your life."

"If you are going to preach to yourself, please do so in private."

A reluctant laugh huffed from his lungs and the man cocked his head to one side. "Either the Battosai has been too lenient with his wench, or he is more pathetic than I thought."

"If he's so pathetic, then why are you the one attacking a 'mere woman?'"

x

Kenshin frowned, his eyes distant as his thoughts ran inward instead of focusing on the obstacles around him. Instinct would lead him through the busy streets, so he felt no fear of letting his mind wander paths of uncertainty. He was only thankful that uncertainty was not, at that moment, because of his reluctance to speak with Kaoru. Unfortunately that thankfulness did not stretch to the subject of his new concern.

Leaving Kaoru to walk herself to the Maekawa Dojo had not sat well with him, as more often than not a voice in the back of his mind demanded she not leave his sight. Regrettably there was not a compromise as Kaoru was expected to teach there, as well as being Yahiko's first day training outside of their dojo, and he himself was required to be at the police station to speak with Chief Uramura. Though he had argued with Kaoru to postpone the trip, she was having none of it and he could not come up with a clear excuse to shut her down. Feeling frustrated and helpless as she had left, trying to convince himself that he was merely being paranoid, he had not shown up to the meeting in a pleasant state of mind.

And had left in an even worse. Several high-ranking officials in the last week alone had been found dead in their houses, sometimes with family members in attendance. It was enough to make Kenshin's jaw hurt, and the pictures he'd been forced to flip through caught onto a darker part of his psyche. Though some of the men he only knew through reputation, many of them were either comrades in battle or commanders he had served under. While he had not enjoyed his time in the war, it could not be helped that he had learned much about the soldiers around him, and so felt a certain responsibility and empathy towards their backgrounds and futures. Especially since there was a large probability that their deaths were the direct result of his own failings.

Though there was not a lot of evidence to suggest that this outbreak of murders could be pinned on Shishio Makoto, the Police Chief was also under the impression that there was not a great possibility it wasn't. They had already ruled in the notion that he was not working alone, and while they were not able to pinpoint his direct location as of yet, they knew he was in the country and that there were several strange dealings happening at opposite ends of the islands. Whether in the mass purchase of weapons, the strategic deaths of strongly positioned bureaucrats, or the complete destruction of government buildings… it was beginning to feel as if the entire system might collapse. Already the populace was starting to react to the frantic and quite chaotic atmosphere, speaking openly of another war. Kenshin was only thankful they did not realize the new emperor himself had been moved from the capital in secret or there would have been an all out bought of panic.

Sighing, he pressed two fingers into the bridge of his nose, thinking back over those pictures he had been shown. Though the content was undesirable to look upon, he knew why he had been asked to study each photo. Though he had never met Shishio Makoto, he had heard rumors of his sword style, and as a decent sword master himself it would be the quickest way to identify just who the killer was. Whether it was the mastermind himself, or someone else that worked under him, and if Kenshin could recognize the technique then they would be on better ground to deal with their opponent. However, Kenshin had never seen anything like it before in his life, nor did he recognize the style through hearsay.

He did understand how frightening the kill itself was, though. Quick and precise, without any seeming hesitation in the strike. These observations themselves would do no good in naming the suspect, and Kenshin did not insinuate that he could even help narrow it down with several of their intelligence operatives, but it was the chill itself that settled in his limbs. Something about this assassin frightened him, and it had much to do with the way he had killed even the children. As if there was no sense of humanity in him… or a sickening glee that took pleasure in death. With these kind of enemies, it made him fear for Kaoru and all of his friends. None of her training would do her any good if she were forced to face such a relentless foe.

_No. She will not have to face this enemy. She will not face any of them. I will simply have to fix this before she is involved or even thought to be involved._ Fists clenching, the sakabato he held in one hand pressing into his skin, he closed his eyes and shook his head. There was only a few blocks left to walk before he made it to the Maekawa Dojo, and he did not want Kaoru to see the trouble his visit to the police station had caused him. This was his responsibility and it would not affect her. He was determined not to let it.

Waiting patiently at a crosswalk for the light to change, resolved to keep a calm state of mind for the next few hours, every muscle in his body tensed at the unexpected slam of harried ki that jerked at his senses. Eyes snapping up, heart threatening to jump out of his throat, Kenshin vaulted the two lane of cars in instantaneous reaction. Though the tangle of energy was choking, almost blinding in strength and number, he could no longer miss Kaoru's warm heat if he was deaf, blind, and half drug into the underworld.

Sprinting, he met Yahiko's form running in the opposite direction, not far from the gate of the dojo. Slowing long enough to slap a hand on his shoulder, to watch his eyes widen, and then lift an arm to point behind him, he was gone even as his breathless voice was explaining the situation. "Kaoru… some guy… looking for you…" _Of course. Why else would he be here when she is alone?_ Anger igniting in turbulent response, he ducked around the disordered mass of boys with ease and in the opened doorway to the dojo in time to see Kaoru's slim figure duck, weave, and twist into the air, vault off a wall and land with a skid, the bokken still in her hands broken in two.

Instead of relief, rage darkened his already agitated anxiety, seeing not how well she was doing against her strong opponent, but recognizing the man and how much danger the woman was willingly placing herself in. How idiotic of her to face this wolf alone, with a broken weapon no less. Golden irises narrowing, his chin lifted in challenge to meet the gaze of an enemy he had fought with years before.

"Ah, there you are Battosai. I was wondering how long you were going to make me wait." Smirking when Kaoru darted a quick look over her shoulder, the tall samurai shot forward with a speed he had so far kept in check. Knocking the bokken from her hands, catching a wrist and spinning her like a top, he snapped tight fingers around her ponytail and yanked her back so that she was bowed awkwardly. With one arm angled above her head and her weight overbalanced, she grimaced at the pain that ripped across her scalp. _And you just had to pull that muscle earlier, too. Che!_ "No matter, your little woman was helping me warm up."

Half stepped into the room, Kenshin scowled, his hand instinctively wrapped around the hilt of his katana. "Then if the warm up is over, why don't you rid yourself of the woman and test your skills against a real opponent?"

Completely indignant, Kaoru's mouth opened, the free hand gripping at her attacker's arm loosening as her emotions became indifferent to physical pain. Eyes darting up to Saito as he answered mockingly back, she ground her jaw and felt resentment burn on her tongue for both of them. _What arrogant, egotistical, biased, sexist, prejudiced, bigoted, self-assured… assholes!_ Running out of words to express her humiliation, Kaoru turned her concentration away from vocabulary and quick-studied her condition. Two seconds later she had both feet clutched around his katana, her shoulders twisting her weight to throw it and herself across the floor. She was merely grateful it was still in its sheath or she would probably be sporting some sick cuts on her soles.

Rolling to a crouch before either could react, she had the blade pulled free and leveled parallel to the ground where she directed an angry look at them both. "Sorry, but I really hate being ignored." Standing slowly, she switched her grip on the alien hilt of the katana. "Nor do I appreciate being treated like I'm inferior." Eyes locking with Kenshin's she let them harden against the fury she could read in his own.

Laughter burst from the wolf standing now on the far side of the training hall, amused and harsh. "I'm truly beginning to think the woman will be more of a challenge than you Battosai. Already her skill has increased since when I first arrived."

Attention shifting back to the smirking features of her dueling partner, Kaoru took a breath to shut him up, and jumped in surprise when the weapon in her hand was knocked quite successfully, and rather violently, to the wooden floor. Nerves stinging, her mind unable to process what had happened as she was more than sure her opponent had not moved to attack her, in fact was still standing several meters away, Kaoru gasped in confusion and took a step back. Blinking as Kenshin's glaring features came into focus, the aggravation that she wanted to feel was overpowered by hurt. "Kenshin…" Cradling her throbbing hands to her stomach, resisting the urge to wince, she swallowed the tears that wanted to overwhelm her throat and encouraged her anger instead. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Kicking the dropped katana ruthlessly across the smooth floor, Kenshin grabbed her by the arm and jerked her behind him and away from the wolf, unconsciously protecting her even from his gaze. "I will not let you taint the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu so thoughtlessly by using such an impure weapon."

"I…" Stuttering, unsure what it was he thought was going to taint her, she hissed back. "Just what did you expect me to do then? Let him rip my hair out by the scalp?"

"I expect you to let me deal with him!"

Though her teeth ground together to still the accusing statements that wished to be free, Kaoru's blue eyes sparked with challenge, narrowing before looking away. "Then deal with him…" Wrenching her arm free of his fingers, she sketched a mock bow. "…sensei."

Kenshin swallowed as she walked away, aware of her insult and yet relieved that he had managed to make her leave so easily. Tension returning as the man behind him laughed again, he turned and noticed with a sharp once-over that the wolf had retrieved his katana… and was not paying any attention to him. His golden irises were following Kaoru's rigid form. "It's nice to see that you do have control over the girl. I was afraid you had grown soft enough to let a woman-child walk all over you."

Anger reigniting, Kenshin growled. "You do not look at her." Cold eyes shot back to him, curiosity replacing amusement as one eyebrow lifted. "You do not speak or even think of her, or I will crush you where you stand."

Resting his katana on one shoulder, Saito frowned, observing the pull of his opponent's features. Though he had always been fierce in battle, Himura Battosai had never exuded a rage that trembled in such unsteady emotion. The man before him now was different in many ways, though with the way he had reacted with the girl, he wondered at how soft he had become.

"I can see now how easy it was for Jin-e to use her against you." Moving to circle, one foot setting meaningfully in front of the other, he shook his head sadly. "You are too irrational with her safety."

A flick of his thumb released the sakabato from its sheath, readying its strength to attack. Stalling his enemy's movements with the sharp sound that echoed through the training hall, Kenshin ducked his chin and spoke low to try and contain the shake in his chest. "I told you not to speak of her."

Smirking slowly, Saito lowered his blade carefully to level between them, waiting to counter. "I was merely musing over the reasons that must have caused you to struggle against such a man. The Battosai I remember would not have wasted any time in taking his life. Instead I hear of this silly vow of yours, a promise I am sure you made to this little woman to keep her happy and warming your bed." Kaoru paused in the doorway, her head jerking to glare over her shoulder as her nails bit deeply into the wood of the shoji. "Such base desires have robbed you of your senses. If you were not so weakened by this vow she would never have been taken."

"You're wrong!" Half stepping back into the dojo, Kaoru clenched her fists, ignoring the way Kenshin's being jerked at her return interference. "There was nothing that Kenshin could have done to stop that maniac. It wasn't his fault at all."

"No? Then you mean to tell me he hasn't grown so dull he was unable to notice and recognize that spy at the club for what he truly was?"

Blue eyes widened, echoing the disbelief that lifted Kenshin's chin. "W-what spy?" Uncertain, Kaoru gripped at the fold of her training gi.

"The one who so graciously asked for a dance and was no doubt very interested in hearing all about his partner." Something heavy dropped into the pit of her stomach, amusing the tall wolf with her clear expressions. Averting his attention to the small ex-hitokiri, Saito shook his head. "It is sad that your mind has become as stunted as your blade, or you would have seen through his pathetic ruse to exploit the girl's obvious importance. The Hitokiri Battosai from before would have killed that man before he was able to report back to his master and employ that sycophant to test you. And that he tested you at all speaks poorly of your skill now that you have taken that ridiculous vow not to kill."

"Say what you will, but this vow I have spoken will not be changed merely because of your mocking words." Kaoru's muscles relaxed, feeling Kenshin's ki calm from its harried anger of before. "The strength I have now is enough to protect those around me. The strength that is gained from killing is a useless tool."

"A useless tool? I wonder if Shinomori Aoshi feels the same? For certainly his comrades would still be alive if it wasn't for your absurd notions and your insistence in pushing them upon those around you." Continuing his round a few more steps, Saito stopped when he was parallel with the opened door, Kaoru's frozen figure directly across from him. "And what strength is there in such an idea if you were not even able to protect them or they protect themselves? Their opponent felt no need to make exceptions for their faults. Tell me, Battosai, how this strength is enough when the ones you would 'protect' die around you? As the girl could have died by Jin-e's hand."

The calm in Kenshin's ki faltered, losing control to emotions that were far from anger and much closer to desperation and irrational denial. "He certainly had her in his possession long enough to do what he liked. Even I, who set up your meeting with the police chief, have had enough time to take from her whatever I would have wished." The hilt in his hand jerked the sakabato further from its sheath, and Saito slid low into a stance, his blade leveling with his outstretched arm. "You have become so weak, I could still take her life. Even with you standing between us."

"That will not be allowed." Shifting so that he was blocking the other's path, Kenshin gave him no room to dodge around. "Not while I still breathe."

"Then come. Let's test your strength and see if it is enough to protect without killing, Battosai."

In a move that Kaoru found herself shockingly unable to follow, the man lunged forward. It seemed to her still novice eyes that neither had left their stances, but as her brain caught up to the blurring of space, Kenshin was already in the air, the sakabato drawn. Waiting expectantly for his counter, knowing in her heart that there was no one in the world strong enough to challenge Kenshin's skill, her being froze when the man she had fought only minutes before lifted his chin and brought his sword up into the smaller man's chest.

Blood, thick and rich, splattered against the ceiling, running down the length of Saito's katana and dropping onto his face. Laughter rose up his throat, his lips pulling into a grin as Kenshin grunted. "Nice dodge, but it won't do you any good." An angry grinding noise ripped from the edge of his blade as the wolf slashed into Kenshin's ribs, bone meeting metal with just enough resistance to keep them intact. More blood flew in bright droplets to spray over wall, ceiling, and floor, a sharp kick sending Kenshin's body across the training hall with a screech of skin and wet clothing.

Gasping, Kaoru took a step forward, jerking at the hand that fisted into the back of her training gi. Glancing behind her in anger, she frowned at Yahiko, his features serious as he stopped her. "Maekawa-sensei has already called the police, and I don't think Kenshin would like it if you were involved any further."

"You would speak to your teacher that way?" Indignant and anxious, even though her anger for Kenshin hadn't lessened any either, she snapped at the boy.

"You're more than just my teacher!" His face flushed, and he looked away, watching as Kenshin stood steadily to his feet, a hand pressed against the wound in his side. "And I know you're more than just a student to Kenshin. I… I saw him get angry that last time." Looking away as Saito repositioned for the gatotsu, Yahiko seemed confused but at the same time worried. "I don't want to see that again. It was really… different and… wrong… on his face." Brow furrowing, Kaoru returned her attention to the fight, no longer struggling against the hand that restrained her. Instead, she focused on the eyes of her beloved, and her lips trembled downward.

"I'm sorry, Yahiko… but I'm afraid you're going to see something much more frightening this time."

A clash of metal, a bright burst of light and Kenshin was once again rising slowly from his thrown position, his back tender from its connection with the solid wooden wall. His breathing was heavy, his eyesight narrowed, and the clench of his fist around the sakabato was unforgiving. Centered, his entire being was focused on the man in front of him, his consciousness no longer worried about the reason for the fight, the truth of it's existence, only an irritation that he seemed unable to counter a move he knew to be breakable. No man had ever pulled a move on him twice and succeeded in finishing it.

Lunging forward, he saw his enemy's eyes widen in the slightest, surprised by the increase of his speed. Once again his katana came up, his stance lengthening for the gatotsu, and Kenshin ducked it. Readying himself to attack, a cry of pain was cut cleanly off by his teeth clicking together and his throat convulsing inward from the harsh pounding of his opponent's foot.

More heavy breathing. The painful rise and fall of his chest as his lungs worked to bring oxygen for his adrenaline charged blood. Horrible twinges and the throbbing of torn tissue, begging for his attention. Wanting to rest and heal. A voice, like sound through a tunnel, distorted and calling his name. The fear he could feel in the cords shivering a response down his own spine. More clearly was the silencing of the wolf's amusement, the stunned and yet guarded ki that spoke of his more respectful regard. He no longer saw him as merely prey for his fangs, but as an awakening predator that threatened his territory.

But then, the Shinsengumi had always felt threatened by the hitokiri. For was not their code similar in essence. A swift death to all evil, and let there be no remorse for those fallen men. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, blood dripping off his chin, and his heavy breaths stilled.

Hard amber irises lifted, his stance straight, and Saito felt his own adrenaline kick in instinctively. That was the look he remembered. This was the man he had fought with before. And there was no turning back now. Whether it was the pain that had recalled the hitokiri, or merely the chance to wield his sword against a worthy opponent… it did not matter. Saito was about to receive the answer he had come looking for.

Switching his grip, he swung the blade over his head, changing his stance to accommodate. "Let's go then!" Calling out a challenge, an excitement of a different sort beginning to rise in his chest, he shot forward, his thrust aiming between the eyes. A sidestep this time, and Saito thought him the fool, his memory clearly muddled, or his mind merely snapped to ignore such a blatant countering. Cutting quickly to the side, preparing to take his head, the small hitokiri smoothly dodged, his body twisting with surprising ease, and his blunted sword connected squarely with the back of his neck.

Flung with such force, his body slammed headlong into the outer wall, busting apart the wooden planks over drywall, sending his personage outside. Wind whipped through the newly made hole, the sky darkening as heavy storm clouds covered the sun, and thunder rumbled low in the distance. Rolling with a grunt onto his back, Saito stared up into the massing clouds, watching a wicked crack of lightning whipcord across the sky. Then smiling at the words that invited him back into the dojo, the voice as deep as the storm's own.

"Stand up. I will not allow this to end so calmly."

"Indeed." Standing slowly to his feet, his figure a dark silhouette as rain began to pound against his shoulders, he reentered through the hole he had made, pressing a hand firmly into a loose section to make room. "This fight will no longer seem satisfying unless I kill you, Battosai."

"Do not be a fool. Even I can tell it is your death the heavens call for."

Lightning crackled yet again, and for the first time in years Kaoru felt a chill of fear lance through her heart in reaction. "No." The hand at her back slipped away as if in shock, and she took a hesitant step forward, the echoing thumps of drumming that pounded in her ears in tune with the sharp whacks of katana before her. No light dared intrude upon the duel, no spark to speak of their passing, and as the tempest fully set itself upon their city, only the ominous shadows flitting about the interior showed that there was anything of interest to watch. "Kenshin, don't…"

_I know what this leads to. I know how this will end. I know that if it can't be stopped, Kenshin won't… he'll think… _

A loud splintering crack demanded attention, causing Yahiko behind her to yell in surprise and jump clumsily out of the way of a shooting piece of metal. At the same time, light illuminated the two Bakumatsu warriors, giving pause to sapphire irises as they saw not only the broken length of Saito's katana still clutched in his hand, but also the well-ruined sakabato. Time froze. As if Fate herself had wrapped an arm around her shoulders and whispered suggestively into her ear, Kaoru could almost see the impending conclusion as cleanly as the break in folded metal. As if the happiness she had reveled in was only the calm before the storm.

The sakabato was a weapon that was meant to protect, to shield not only the innocents standing behind it but the wielder and his enemy as well. But this instrument of purity was not being used as such. Though this was not the first time it had been utilized in a bought of rage, the other occurrence had been stopped, the weight of fury lifted. This time there was no reason that Kaoru could see to make Kenshin react as he was, and nothing she herself could think of to calm him. There was only a single-minded determination to win, to not lose against this other warrior, and under the stress of such bitterness, the sakabato could not withstand. But this did not, in any way, stall the fight, and as Kaoru's lips quivered, her heart ached, both samurai went at each other with damaged swords.

Nor did amber irises even glance at the broken weapon as he planned his next move. Knocking aside Saito's feeble attempt at garnering an opening for attack, ignoring the bite of metal into the sensitive flesh of his bare hand, he struck out with deadly precision. Even severed in two, the sakabato could not take a life, but the splintered edge from the break was more than able to dig into the meat of Saito's shoulder. With the length of his katana shortened considerably, however, this placed him much closer to his enemy than normal, and he was unable to pull away quick enough to counter his own offensive action.

Crying out, Kenshin felt the bones in his right hand break, the swift snap of Saito's fist jarring the structure of his knuckles and forcing him to drop his sword. Disarmed, he could not oppose the beating laid into his chest, or the twisted cloth that suddenly appeared around his neck. Suspended, the blood trapped in his head began to throb, robbing him of intelligent thought and killing him slowly with the pressure. Aware that the grip on his neck would break first he felt no need to worry over such a trivial matter.

Again there was a voice, but the pounding in his ears was louder, giving rise to panic that was not allowed inside the mind of a hitokiri. Taken and twisted by instinct and obstinacy, his left hand slammed downward, kicking the end of his sheath up into the taller man's jaw. Dropping to the floor, his left hand ripping at the makeshift noose, he yanked roughly on the length of the metal sheath at his waist. Hefting its weight, he turned to his opponent.

There was no longer even room for reservations, the world narrowed and honed on their fight to the death. Outside the storm roared with rising intensity, violently lashing out in its strongest peak of power as it too felt the impending end of its tirade. Posed on the edge of destruction, concentration focused only on what was before them, muscles tensed in willing preparation, the jolting crack of lightning overhead threw them at one another and the dark path that awaited.

Somewhere outside of the madness there was blinding light, and in the back of his mind he knew that at one point that light had been a part of him. Or close enough to feel as if he were connected. It called to him, here and now, and though there was a place in his heart that yearned to answer, nothing in his mind saw the reasoning behind it. At that moment he was preoccupied, and there was nothing to sway him away from that duty to destroy all that threatened the vision of peace he fought for. No dog would keep him from fulfilling the task given to Himura Battosai.

"THAT IS ENOUGH!"

The surprise Kaoru felt at finding someone standing next to her was nearly enough to fight off her fear of the deteriorating situation. Tall and richly dressed, his features covered by well-groomed facial hair, he spoke of political authority, and yet his voice carried like a man who had seen much. Enough so to stop the two samurai in their tracks, stalling at almost the last second what could have ended everything. No matter who would have won.

"Saito! This is not the mission you were given!"

Wiping at the blood on his chin, Saito sneered, bloodlust still shining in his eyes. "I have lived for this. I can let nothing interfere. Even you Okubo-san."

Kaoru's eyes widened as she recognized the name and the identity of this stranger. A great leader of the revolutionists, he had shared that responsibility with another she had met a time before. Kenshin's own direct commander, Katsura Kogoro. Behind her she heard Yahiko's whispered words of ignorance.

"Your pride does not interest me, Saito. Only your skills and your evaluation of Himura's strength."

"Hmph." Sensing no way to resume their fight without further interruption, Saito shot a look to Kenshin. "How fortunate for you." A biting reply was made back and he sneered in disdain. Picking up his discarded jacket and broken katana, Saito made his way reluctantly to the door. "If you were planning on sending Himura Kenshin into this battle then you may as well send his woman instead. She has more bite than he." Glancing away from the glare in azure irises, he continued. "Himura Battosai, however, may prove to be promising."

With the newcomer halfway into the training hall, Kaoru was only able to see his back and not his own reaction to this declaration. As the wolf passed her, however, his taunting words did not cease. "I told you his vow was merely a farce. The question is now will you continue to force it upon him… or stop playing the fool and acknowledge what you lie with?"

Irrational fury shadowed her features, but before Kaoru could jump at the older man and make him pay for such a statement, her arms were caught and held firm. Struggling to be free, her lips spitting a few obscenities, she was unable to do anything while the wolf walked away, a newly lit cigarette in his mouth.

"Let go of me!" Knowing that Yahiko did not have the strength to hold her back, Kaoru turned on the new arrival, jerking her arms free as he loosened his grip. Her narrowed eyes stared back at him, still upset and angered, and she only looked away from the firm gaze of his own when Kenshin finally spoke.

"So you are behind this then, Okubo-san. Your explanation had best be better than your execution." Golden irises were still intent, reminding Kaoru of a time so long ago when her Kenshin had lived in a constant state of turmoil and suffering. They were intimidating, and born from the necessary hardening of his heart after witnessing the deaths of many men.

It recalled to her those emotions of helplessness and anxiety she herself had felt as a child standing behind him. Though her love for him had grown into something much deeper since then, her innocent desire to protect the man who was giving his very soul away had driven her to do everything she could. Briefly it seemed she had helped him find a way to atone, or at the least freed him from the path that had caused him such torment. There were steps that were required to find that peace she wanted for him, and while trying to guide him up them she had seen much a part of her knew she was not supposed to have witnessed. Now, looking into his eyes once more, seeing how little it took to push him back down those stairs, she felt the beginning of despair. What good was her presence if she could not produce any firm results?

Paled irises dropped to the floor, studying distractedly the pitiful form of the broken sakabato. It lay alone, sorrowfully dull on a bloodied floor amidst leftover convictions that it never should have been a part of. It too seemed to realize the possible outcome of its end, to understand that the soul it represented balanced unsteadily on the tip of decay and as it now was could do nothing to prevent that. Did it feel sorrow for the man as well? Or did it feel hatred for the hand that had wielded it against its very purpose?

"Kaoru." The conversation had continued, and as she turned to look at Yahiko, his hand tugging on her sleeve, she listened to Kenshin speak again. His voice was clearly angry, but it was losing that razor-sharp haughtiness of the hitokiri. Swallowing as he refused Okubo's invitation back to the police station, Kaoru looked up to the stern face of the official and then over to Kenshin.

Her movement caught his attention, briefly requiring his irises to search her over, and something in her chest trembled as she recognized the way he seemed to stumble over her presence. As if he either could not understand why she was there, or, for those few short seconds, could not identify her at all. Swallowing, Kaoru stepped forward, cutting off the other's words before the sound became intelligible. As she drew nearer, his stance shifted, wary, and she lifted her hand slowly to reach for his face, hoping he would read the intent in her ki.

Amber eyes looked into and through her own, and she briefly felt fear that he would not understand what it was she wanted. He looked so very untamed and wild, as if at any moment his teeth would bare and snap in return anger. The powerful bite of his ki seemed to coil, tensing as the nail of her longest finger brushed skin, and she almost flinched back to avoid the attack that it threatened. But a calmer part of her knew that this was still the Kenshin she loved, and he had never, nor would he ever, hurt her.

As if the test had been passed, he blinked, the enlarged width of his pupil retracting, and the tight expression around his eyes softened. Looking her over again quickly, red lashes closed over irises on the verge of blue, his head leaning into her palm.

"Kaoru…" Though the word was quiet, nearly inaudible, Kaoru felt in intense clarity the sensation of being lost, alone, and frightened. Like the child she used to be, curled under the blankets of her futon, praying for the lightning to pass harmlessly by and the arms of someone she depended on to protect her.

"It's alright now." Though the tone she had wished to adopt wobbled, she did not let any of the threatening tears fall, her other hand coming up to cup his face. Taking a steady breath, she tried again. "It's alright."

"Himura-san." Violet eyes snapped open, and Kaoru read irritation before she pulled away. Partially embarrassed by the intimacy they were sharing in front of such an influential personage, another part of her echoed an old feeling of resentment for these men who thought themselves better than the swords they tried to control. Turning from the intent gaze of her beloved, Kaoru tried not to let that animosity show. "There are more pressing matters to attend to. I insist that you join me…" There was displeasure and impatience in the important man's voice, but Kenshin had not taken his eyes off Kaoru. The curtain that had covered his mind had been yanked successfully free by her touch, his thoughts coming to order, and he smoothly spoke over the official to buy some time.

"Okubo-dono, I think it would only be polite if you were to apologize to the dojo master. It was, after all, his property that was damaged in your request of Saito. Not to mention the students that were no doubt put into jeopardy." Taking a couple steps forward, Kenshin waved a hand at the boy still standing in the doorway. "Yahiko will take you to him."

"And will you please call Megumi-san as well, Yahiko?"

"Sure, sure." Shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly, he gestured at the tall stranger and led him away down the engawa. "Just who the hell are you anyway?"

Kaoru's lips quirked at the boy's audacity before she walked a couple paces and bent over to wrap cold fingers around the hilt of the sakabato. Wind from the storm gusted through the open door, chilling her slightly as the rain beat down in unrelenting pebbles. It seemed almost too quiet with the absence of thunder, and a warning shiver rippled across her skin. Something felt wrong, and she knew it was because she saw no answer to the question forming in her mind.

"Kaoru?" Slowly she turned, her hands cradling the sakabato as if holding the lifeless body of something precious. Blue irises did not look away from it, her stance blatantly saddened by the wreckage, and Kenshin paused where he was. He could almost hear her thoughts. Could almost see the accusation in her posture. Wondering how he could do such a thing. Wanting an answer, to know the reason he would destroy the gift she had given him. Why he would turn his back on everything she had done for him in favor of living that nightmare again?

Sensing the spiral his thoughts were heading towards, violet eyes closed, his head shaking to bring him back to the present. "Kaoru." Again he spoke her name, his voice a mere thread of sound now, unsure what he could say to convey the regret that was already settling inside his core. When she inhaled, the action shaky and quick, he tensed at the disappointment he expected to follow.

"Does it hurt much, Kenshin?" Freeing a hand, she touched gently at the cut in his ribs, glancing briefly over the bruising on his neck, before pulling back the bangs covering his face. Sapphire irises were tender, anxious for the pain he must be in, and it amplified the guilt throbbing in his stomach. Swallowing, he leaned his forehead into hers, the tips of his fingers brushing her jaw.

"It doesn't matter." His voice was tight, and her lips jerked, trying to smile over her frown, the action sad and ineffective. Rolling her chin, she kissed him on the cheek, curling her arm around the back of his head in a sheltering hug. Over her shoulder he could see the other half of the broken sword, it's length lodged into the far wall, and his eyelids slid shut.

The events of only moments before were brighter in the darkness, bringing back to him feelings and emotions that should have been long since dead and gone. It had been over ten years since the last time his sword had been wielded for death, over ten years since the resulting rush of adrenaline and primal instincts. It had always frightened him, but not in any way that he knew Kaoru suspected. But because of the sensation behind them. Hidden inside the shadow of their wake. Tickling the pit of his stomach and making it churn sickly.

When he was securely alone, he had thought to examine it once. Was it pride, he had wondered? Or, even more alarming, a glee; a fierce, nearly unstable exhilaration, not at the demise of his opponent, but at the defeat of a worthy enemy? An addictive drug that fed on his battles and urged him into new ones. Were those the emotions leading him through the war? Was this the true extent of his heart? Not something pure and untainted by corruption, but a will that was no better than that of the sadist Udo Jin-e? The notion had shaken him, so much so that he had buried it under the much easier conclusion Kaoru had decided to give.

Now, however, he was beginning to see the consequences for such an action, and his heart sank in despair. After everything he had done to walk this new path, after all he had sacrificed, why was it not enough even for this? Why was his soul still so unstable?

"Was it all for nothing, then?" The arm holding him tightened, and he could sense her denial. "Have I gained nothing… when it is so easy to fall back into everything I have run away from?"

"Kenshin…"

"He was right, Kaoru." Fiercely his arms wrapped around her, the bones in his right hand stinging with pain as he clenched desperately at the material of her gi. "How can I live by this belief when I fail every test I am given? Please, koishii, I don't know what to do."

"You haven't failed, Kenshin. We just… we…" Stumbling, Kaoru searched for the answer, but that question was still so new and there had been no time to examine it. "We'll just… have to keep going. We can't give up now." Pulling gently out of his embrace, Kaoru glanced down at the broken sakabato and smiled. Pressing the hilt into his hands, she wrapped her fingers over his own, her eyes as clear and knowing as the day he had met her. "Everything will be fine."

x

Kenshin rounded the last corner of the Kamiya Dojo for the fourth time that evening, his thoughts as cloudy and turbulent as the sky. Rechecking the locked gate, his hand running over the smooth surface, he sighed and turned his sight inward, staring at a soft ray of light that pierced the darkening grounds. A signal that Kaoru had yet to turn in herself, the shoji of her room parted to let in the cool air.

It was small wonder her own thoughts were keeping her up as well. Although the Chief of Internal Affairs had truly told them nothing new, he had confirmed Shishio Makoto's direct link to the current state of affairs, and it was seeming all the more real that Kenshin would have to actively cooperate with the operation. Which meant he would more than likely be required to leave her behind once again.

The notion jerked at his heart, closing his eyes over a sensation he was not yet used to. Leaving her had never been simple, nor easy, but now… it seemed nearly impossible. But he would… to make sure her life was safe, her friends protected, and the happiness she was experiencing guarded from the chaos Shishio promised the entire country. He would do whatever it took to secure her future… and when it was all said and done, hopefully his own as well.

Taking care of a man that had lost little of his skill within the last eleven years would be an incredibly hard feat. There was no small possibility that Kenshin might lose his life to that man, and though it frightened him, this was a situation he could not run away from. The problem was his responsibility to fix, and he could not in good conscience throw it off on anyone else. He just wished he had half the faith Kaoru had in his abilities.

That she could believe in him so much, even after everything he had done, made him feel all the smaller on the inside. After letting her down, time and time again, she still stood behind him, coaxing him gently forward, encouraging him to be better than he was. Than he ever could be. She commanded a strength he would never have, a will he could only envy her. And he loved her all the more for the quiet way she could look into his eyes even after destroying the precious gift she had given him.

Chin dropping into his chest, his hand rested on the hilt of his katana, nearly feeling the brokenness of the steel. Hearing all too clearly Kaoru's own lesson to Yahiko, his teeth clenched and his brow furrowed. If a samurai's katana was truly a representation for his soul, what did this mean about his own now? Was he as broken and useless as the blade portrayed? Was this merely a second step in his corrosion, and not the second chance he had thought it to be? Could there truly be any way to make this right again? Could a soul such as his ever be mended enough to accept the purity of hers?

Or perhaps her purity was the direct result of the taint within his.

_I have been given a gift even greater than the sakabato. A gift I will never understand my possession of, but am grateful in its presence._ Sucking in a shivering breath, he smiled thinly. _And perhaps, if I am lucky, her purity will one day rub off on me._

Naturally drawn toward the light, he made his way across the yard and to the engawa. Body clamoring for rest, the aches from his wounds dragging at his energy, a part of him anticipated the warmth of not only her acceptance, but the comfort of her curled beside him. Though it was probably indecent for him to stay in her room, and he sometimes felt it would be more proper to find comfort in his own, the habit of her presence was an addiction he would be unable to break. This was the part of him that enjoyed only the ability to wrap around her as she slept and witness the tranquility of her breathing.

There was another part him, however, that forced him to be cautious of his actions. To never come to bed at the same time she did. To wait for her ki to be drowned in unconsciousness before lying down next to her. Though for awhile he had been able to use her own injuries as reason enough, her innocent wish for his arms around her easy to allow, lately he had sensed something a little less harmless between them. Their kisses lasted longer, her hands gripped a little tighter, and her body language was open; encouraging. Tempting him to discover the taste of her skin and the feel of his palm spread over her smooth stomach.

Standing outside her room now was against his better judgment. He knew full well she was still awake, and if her ki had anything to say about it, she would be for quite awhile yet. There were things, however, that he needed to speak with her about. Truths that she needed to understand. And, quite possibly, reassurance for an issue he had been blind to even as it had stared him in the face.

Her voice was soft when she spoke, allowing him entrance after a brief knock. Stepping inside, he automatically closed the door behind him, thinking little of the consequences. Until blue irises met his, the instinctive smile that spread across her face happy, and he instantly regretted the enclosure of their surrounding. Because he wanted to bless it as well.

"Kenshin?"

Reverie broken, he sucked in a breath, his gaze dropping to the floor between them. "It seems… I am going to have to break my promise." He heard her take a breath and fearing her reply, he spoke quickly to save himself from that pain. "I'm sorry, Kaoru. I cannot ignore this. Not when I know how many people will be hurt if I do. Not when I can imagine the effect it will have. But I also won't be able to deal with your pain. Please, koishii, do not resent me."

A deep sigh left her lungs, but his eyes had closed, whether in fear or cowardice he wasn't sure. All that he knew was the frantic pounding of his heart and the stammering voice inside his head that pleaded for forgiveness.

"You idiot." Her feet brought her closer, the ki around her shifting, and he waited for the hit that he suspected her to give. "A girl could get tired of explaining herself after awhile, you know." Unable to stop himself, his head jerked up, his expression clearly confused and unsure of her meaning. Teeth chewing on her lip as she hid her smile, Kaoru rolled her eyes. "I only have so much patience, but I'll try and explain it to you again." Both hands curled into the front of his shirt, her head tilting to the side. "Kenshin, I love you, and I know you. If you were any other person, if you were any other way, I wouldn't love you at all. I can't be angry with you for wanting to help. I can't hate you for wanting to save others. And I'm not about to throw a tantrum just to get my way and make you stay here knowing the extent of the situation. I don't want you to ever question my feelings for you, because it is not something I would want to burden you with, and never something you should have to do."

"Koishii…"

Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around his ribs, wanting to comfort him. Wanting him to be calm. "Besides… it's not like you're going anywhere by yourself, anyway."

"N-nani?"

"Really, Kenshin? Did you think I would just stay here and wait?" When he pulled back, his expression battling between confusion and coming denial, she planted her hands on her hips. "I'm not a child anymore, and I won't allow you to handicap me with your overprotective tendencies. I'm an adult now, and I'll go wherever I please." Lips parting to argue, he was shut down again with one raised hand. "I just might be able to help you, too."

"Kaoru, this is not…"

"If you don't let me come with you, I'll just figure out where you're going and follow. It's your choice."

"But koishii, I'm not…"

"No buts, Kenshin. I'm going whether you like it or not."

"_Kaoru_." Strong fingers dug into the curve of both her shoulders, demanding her attention and stilling her tongue. "You are not going. I will not allow it." There was desperation in his eyes and voice, and her features slowly melted into an angry contriteness. "This will not be a situation you can handle, that I want you to handle." Anticipating her argument, he instinctively shook her. "I didn't mind helping you train again, so you can better protect yourself, but going and looking for a fight is not the same. And if you… if you were to get hurt, I wouldn't know what to do, Kaoru. I need to be able to concentrate, and that won't happen if you're in danger of any kind."

"How unfair." Dark bangs covered her eyes from view as her chin ducked, and he frowned at her words. "That you can just stand there and tell me that no matter what I do, you'll never trust me with my own safety. You'll never have faith in my strength."

Sighing, he leaned forward to tighten his embrace, saddened when she refused to return the gesture. "I guess I can understand where you have developed this need to prove yourself and show that you can take care of your own, but… I'm tired of hearing you speak of how weak you are, or accuse me of thinking it. Just because I worry over your wellbeing doesn't mean I think little of your skill. It only means that I care, and I can't help that I care for you, koishii. Do you not remember saying the same to me?"

A quiet huff of acknowledgement was his reply, and her forehead dropped onto his shoulder. "Now that's unfair, Kenshin."

"All's fair, little one." He laughed with her, happy when she finally relaxed. "Your true strength, koishii, is not in how well or powerful you wield a sword, but in your faith. Very few people can look at a stranger and see only the good in him, and believe that he can one day be better." Throat constricting as he clearly saw one moment many years before, his eyes clenched shut. "Very few people can believe in others as willingly and strongly as you. I will never possess that kind of strength, Kaoru, and I envy you for it. I wish I could believe in myself as you believe in me."

Warm arms finally wrapped around his middle. "It is not so hard, Kenshin, because I know that you will always succeed. There is no doubt that you will."

"But I am not so sure. Especially after today. I don't understand how you could still look at me without anger after I so recklessly broke what you gave me. How could you still feel any kind of compassion after seeing what I can be like? After nearly breaking every belief you have?"

"I'm not about to just give up on you either." Jabbing him in the side to emphasis her point, she grumbled in growing irritation. "Thanks for showing faith in me, Kenshin. Like I'd really just stomp off and leave you there. I'm not heartless, you know."

"Yes, koishii, I know." Chuckling, he absently planted a kiss into her hair. "And I'm sorry, but you have only proved my point. If I were you, I would not have been able to keep faith in me any longer. Not after having broken that faith as many times as I have."

"Then it's a good thing I'm not you. You're a mess as it is."

They both laughed, and Kaoru closed her eyes, realizing how much she would have to rethink about the situation. It was obvious Kenshin would not be able to do what would be necessary if she were around. Either by distracting him with her presence alone, or becoming a burden, she could be the construction of his downfall without even willing it. That was not something she wanted, not something she could deal with. She wanted him to come back to her alive, and while this desire demanded that she go to make sure he was safe, it was a rash decision. In her heart she did not want to be apart from him ever again, but in her mind she knew that being separate was not always bad, or that it meant forever. Letting him go now meant there was a strong possibility they would be together for years. Going along leaned more toward becoming a victim of eternal loneliness.

"Alright, Kenshin, you win."

"Thank you, koishii."

"But you better promise to come back. I don't care if you can't walk, you'd just… better come back."

"I will. I promise. Even if I have to crawl."

Tears mingled with her amusement, and she sniffed quietly, trying to hide her emotions in the warmth of his shirt. Finding comfort in the quiet moment that descended around them, the smile that quivered her lips was small, her voice soft. "It's late, Kenshin. I think… we should get some rest. It's been a long day." The muscles against her back stiffened, his head lifting up.

"H-hai… you should do that, Kaoru."

"Do you not plan on sleeping?"

"I… still need to check the gate."

Smile turning lopsided, Kaoru nuzzled her nose into his shoulder. "Again? You already checked it four times, Kenshin."

"D-did I?" Trapped between bracing her weight, and trying to pull away, he froze when her arms slide up around his neck, his heartbeat nearly painful.

"But if it'll make you feel better." The kiss on his cheek was light, melting the anxiety churning his gut. Eyes closing, the gentle scent of her shampoo trembling the muscles in his chest, he marveled at how with such a small contact she could rule every ounce of his being. "Just make sure you don't stay up too late. Your body will need rest if it's going to heal."

"Hai." Hands moving back to her shoulders, he was unsure if he wanted to hold her close or move her further away.

Blue eyes were lowered when she stepped back, her head tilted so that her pale skin barely skimmed his own. Briefly she paused, the air between them heavy, and long lashes lifted, slowly rising to meet his gaze. Though the look was lazy, alluring, the action was innocently unaware of his turmoil, and though a part of his mind recognized this, he was already bridging the gap. Already anticipating the drowning sensation her kisses engendered.

With no small amount of satisfaction he rediscovered that addictive experience, quietly willing it to surround him, contently savoring its beautiful dance. The soft warmth of her arms slid back around his neck, conveying her delight, and forcing his own hands to either drop or readjust. Mimicking both, the pads of his fingers skimmed down her back, tingling the sensitive nerves even under thick calluses. Suffering a similar sensuality, her spine arched inward, pressing them abruptly together and flattening his palms in a sudden urge to keep her there.

Their kiss deepened, taking him away from that slow spiral and throwing him into something even more overwhelming. Uncovering desires he had worked desperately to bury. Freeing them from oppressive excuses and letting them be as important and driving as any single-minded need. To please, to savor, to blanket her in more pleasure than she could ever imagine and watch closely as she fell over that edge. To finally allow himself to enjoy the heart-racing ecstasy her body had been promising him for weeks, and wallow in the euphoric apathy of afterwards.

Skillfully, her tongue curled around his, promising and teasing until he growled at her challenge. Fingers fisted into the material of her pajamas, wanting her to be closer, wanting to tear at the offensive clothing that covered her. Muscles already stretched taut, the tenderness in his knuckles throbbed, clearing away a part of the haze like a rock thrown into water.

Relaxing his hold, they parted, a wince whistling between his teeth as his brow scrunched. Confusion was working on the desire still warming her irises, her bruised lips parting in concern. It was a look he was familiar with, having seen it once before when she was sixteen, and the denial that arose within him was stronger than the small pain. Moving before she could question, one hand lifted to her face, his thumb a soft caress over her mouth to indicate his return there momentarily. Using the time to catch his breath, he nuzzled at her jaw, behind her ear, tasting her neck when she offered, grazing the skin with his teeth to make her shiver, before becoming impatient and plunging them fully back into the heat.

Unsure, for awhile, how to respond, she had clung to him, but she was beginning to find her footing and was more than just letting him know. Dissatisfied as the pleasure began to level, he felt her step back. Eager to keep their contact, he followed, blindly letting her lead him. A featherlike click snapped his eyes open, pupils enlarging in the surprising darkness of her room, and he looked her over as he realized why. Her own eyes blinked open momentarily, her cheeks flushing at such a bold move, and she glanced over her shoulder, trying to make the motion meaningful, but unable to raise her irises to meet his again. Catching sight of the futon, he sensed her nervousness and was overcome with compassion.

"My Kaoru has never been shy." Whispering the words behind her ear, he wrapped an arm low around her waist.

"I-I'm sorry." Breath catching as his lips slid to her collar, her arms lowered with his descent.

"Do not apologize." His demanding words ghosted hot against her skin, his other hand slipping beneath her top and spreading wide between her shoulder blades. "I will simply have to remedy it." Material twisted enough to free her torso, he lifted, ignoring the way she gasped, concentrating instead on the fingers that threaded through his hair and pulled.

Spending only a few seconds on tasting that skin he had coveted and teasingly nuzzling the underside of her breasts, he sat her down, was briefly satisfied with the dazed look in her eyes, and recaptured her lips to distract. Taking the lead back, he nudged her toward the bedding, trying to remember to tame his desire for now and concentrate on her. On carefully nestling her amongst the blankets, delicately removing her clothes, and slowly taking what belonged to him.

Irises already amber with longing, they burnt into bronze as she interrupted his set schedule, allowing him only to lower her until she stretched out beneath him. Kneeling between her parted knees, with only his mouth touching her, she curled one leg up and around him, encouraging him to come closer, forcing his teeth to bite down on whatever piece of her skin he was worshiping. Thrust so intensely back into his previous mindset, he stopped trying to control the situation, and let her lead as much as he.

Settled fully against her, her body warm and inviting, tantalizing and seductive, it was easy to forget she was innocent. Falling prey to the hunger, he fixated his attention firmly on her most sensitive spots, feeling a deep-seated pride at her responses, positive or shaken. The leg still curled around him tightened, a moan rubbing her throat, and she instinctively arched against him as the heat flared. Jaw clenching on a groan, he brought his lips back to hers, parting her teeth with his tongue possessively, and rocked his hips to give her what she wanted.

The pain that burst across his ribs stole his breath, his lungs laboring to return it as he gasped. Her eyes instantly opened, worry battling for dominance on her flushed features, and her hand reached. Abrupt anger flared to life, and he pinned that arm before she could touch him, his mouth returning to its most recent heady activity. Driving her fervently back down into the path of pleasure, his own was replaced by determination; wanting to please her; wanting to know everything. _I __**will**__satisfy her. I __**will **__make love to my woman._

Lost again, his mind blank, the stabbing twinge was twice as violent this time, shaking his arms as it stole his strength, and giving him no other choice but to rest heavily on top of her.

"Kenshin!" A light, fluttering touch hovered over his injured ribs, acknowledging the cause of his pain before alighting on the base of his skull. "I'm sorry. I didn't think…" The distress in her voice upset him, curling his brow, and his fingers found and tugged on her elbow to free his movements.

"Don't, koishii… daijoubu." Still warm and yearning, he kissed a small path up her neck to her chin. "Ne?"

"S-sou ka?"

"Hai."

Stretching to nibble on her ear, happy that he had successfully distracted her, he adjusted his position and grimaced as the ache kept throbbing. When her hands pushed him softly away, he knew she must have noticed.

"Shikashi…"

"It's nothing, koi. Please…"

Soft laughter made him pout. "But Kenshin, you're in pain. How… do you expect to… be able to enjoy anything while you're in pain?" Though her voice stumbled slightly in embarrassment, the words were meaningful enough. "How do you expect me to?"

A muffled whine near her collar widened her eyes in surprise, twitching her eyebrows as she fought amusement and astonishment. "But koishii… I was looking forward to making love to you." Her cheeks flushed at his blatant confession, but her smile widened at his next sulky words. "It's unfair that I can't just because of a few stitches." The low growl of hatred for the man who had caused the wound made her sigh, but silently agree. _Stupid wolf, indeed. I think I'll kick his ass myself the first chance I get._

"Kenshin, I think those painkillers Megumi gave you are kicking in. You're starting to sound sleepy." Half-lidded eyes focused on her face, proving her theory, since she'd never heard Kenshin whine about anything, and she cupped his face in her palms. His cheeks were warm, and she vaguely realized the acceleration of blood flow through his veins would speed up the time it took for the drug to take an effect. _I guess that explains that._ Smiling affectionately, she leaned up to kiss him on the forehead and encouraged him off of her. "Come on, Kenshin. You can still sleep with me." Teasing him enough to pull a smile out of him, she chuckled. "Besides, I'm sure it'll be better for both of us after you're all healed."

A hum of silent agreement made her bite her lip as she yanked on the covers, his nose nuzzling her hair when she cuddled against him.

_Hmmm… much better, koishii… I promise._

x

A/N: Holy shit! I'm so ecstatic! I've been working myself to death trying to finish this (34 pages bitches, oh yeah), and I think I'm going to cry now. Ahhh…

Anywho… did everyone like their present? Yeah, I know, but he was injured. Give the guy a break. I didn't want Kaoru's first experience to be no good because her lover was in pain the whole time. Geeze… lol. But it was fun to write, especially Kenshin whining. I thought that was so funny. XD

Umm… so, I know the sakabato didn't break until the fight against Sojiro, but… I have other plans for that fight, so I wanted to do it here. Plus I thought it would be more meaningful if it was done in front of Kaoru since I made her give it to him in this story. The fight itself wasn't very thrilling, I realize, but I was having an incredibly hard time trying to think of how I wanted to do the fight. Since the manga and the anime pretty much show it from a third person perspective, I wanted to kinda show it from Kenshin's POV more than anything. Also, Kaoru's thoughts were a given, but they never do really explain why Kenshin just kind of snaps like he does. Yeah, I know it's because he's getting really into the fight, but the way they word it is he just reverts back into the Battosai mode, or whatever. Since I'm a pretty big believer in the rurouni and the Battosai not being separate to begin with, and Kenshin is just Kenshin in different stages of his life, I didn't really like that explanation all that well. I wanted to try and show it from a mental standpoint of someone trying to "clean up" if you will. Like anyone with an "addiction" of sorts, it is easier to fall back into what you are trying to quit doing than it is to fight it off. So… yeah. Hope I pulled it off. (Oh, and by the way, I do know that JHSS is based on the two being separate, but that's my exception. Because I also believe there is an exception to every rule.)

Next… I didn't show a conversation between them and the Okubo guy, because, well… I've already pretty well explained what's going on before hand, so it's nothing really new. And… I think that's it. Maybe.

Hope everyone liked it. Please… I worked really hard to make it for you. Don't throw me away now… sniff… cry… I just want love like everyone else… lmfao… Alright, next up, Kaoru just might get her way, and get to kick some ass while she's at it. Wohoo! As always, leave a review and tell me what you liked, didn't like, completely hated, laughed your ass off over, or… anything else that moved you… wink…


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